. . ... , . . "••••r .;•::* - .4..."=".•:'. 3 ?-31P. , ' . . ' • -..-- .--- —.-- --•- . . . ... . . .. . . ' • . . , . . • ~ -• _ . : . . . • . , ..., • c,". . . i - . - r"."-- • ' . .... ~ •: • . ,;- .- -i" 1, • 4 , V; i &,-; .%.,.'" •-• , . .. . • _ . - ' ' ....'\ , ''''; .. -Ift . ....r .. j."•' .0 '4 , 7 0 i.,;i' ..* - " . . . , . '------- _,... • • .... . . • 4 1 \ -----• •- . 14 '-'7 7 .\ ' . k: • • AVZi'' . • , . __ ,› , . _. . • . . 1t4 t 1 13_ 14 1 . 5 O'l`- • . . i - ,- - . . • . , .. ....... - 1101111 . . . . 1 q . . SP Blair. votun xxill. oid rui II 0 JUST THETHING Mil AL MUST N.l{'6! ~-0 II\TOW is the time to economize when money is . 1 11 scarce. You should study your interest by supplying your wants at the first class store of C. BEAVER. North-east corner of the Diamond. He does business on the only successful method, viz: by buying his goods for cash. The al fogy idea of buying goods at high prices and on'long credits is EXPLODED. Call and examine our fine stock and don't be RUINED by paying 29 per cent. too much for your goods elic wherc.- We will chalengo the community to ehow forth a more complete stuck of HATS, all of the very latest styles and to suit all, at C. N. BEAVER'S. BOOTS all kinds end - prices; at SHOES, of every description for Men's, Ladies', Nisqes' and Children's wear, at C. N. BEAVER'S. CLOCKS, every one warranted anu;olt! ay • C. IN. ItE.4 VER. TRUN KS. of all siv.s. the very best manufacture, also warranted and bol '. by C. N. I3AEVER. VALISES, of every kind,, also very cheap, at C. N. BEAVER'S. II 'PSTfor - liinliefisrarrs and C-liitißTriTa-ftush trupply received every week and sold by C.N. BEAVER. NOTIONS, a full line as follows, sold byC.l4 .BE VER.- _ _ _ P A PER COLLARS, for Men and Boys .wear, Oho most complete arid finest assortment in town, by C. N. BEAVER. HOSIERY, of every kind, for sale, by C. N. BEAVER. GLOVES, for Men and Buys wear, ac -C. N. BEAVER'S. SUSPENDERS, toralgn and Bova wear, at C. N. BEAVER'S. CANES AND UMBRELL AS, a complete stock st C.' N-BEAVER's. BROOMS AND BRUSHES, of the vet} , best kind, nt C. N. BAEVER'S. TOBAcca, to suit the taste of all, at C. N. BEAVER'S. CIGARS, which cannot be beat, for sale, by C. N. BEAVER. SNUFF, which we chalenge any one to excel in quality; for sale at C.N.- BEAVER'S. INK and PAPER, of every description, . at C. N CANDIES, always fresh too, for sale, at , C. N. DEAVER'S. SPICES, for sale 3 ,CKERS, of every kind; at C. N. BEAVER'S. INDIGO BLUE, at C. N BEAVER'S. CON CENTR ‘TED !SL, for salt., at C. N. LEAVER'*. KEROSENE, or the rely l efit,—Pius I hi. at C. N. BEAVER'S. LAMP CHIANIES also, And many other articles not necessary to mention. We now hope that you will-give us a share of your patronage. We arc indeed. thankful t.) you for past patronage, and hope a eont'nuanee of the same, and martin years truly, CI, A RENCE -.N. BE >,V ER. Waynesboro', June 2, 1870. The World Renowned. -MEDICINE Drs. D.Tahrney Son's CELEBRATED PREPARATION CLEANSING TUE BLOOD. ' WILL CURE SCROFUL A, CUTANEOUS DISEASES, ERY SIPELAS, BOILS, SORE BYES, SCALD DE ID, PIMPLES, and BLOTCHES ON TEI FACE, TErTER AFFECTIONS, old an I STUBBORN ULCERS, EU MATIC FrECTIt INS, DYsPEP SI COSTIVENESS, SICK C HEADACHE, SALT RIII A UNDICE, GENERAL DE BILITY, CHILLS AND FEVER, FOUL STOMACH, TOGETHER with ALL OTH ER DISEASES ARMING FROM IMPURE BLOOD AND DISORDERED LIVER. TRY ONE BOTTLE OR PAACKAGE And be convinced . that this medicine is no humbug. ISJId hi all Druggists. C7EILITT.IOI§T. Drs. TA Falirney & Son's Preparation for Cleans ing the BluoJ is COUN TE [WEI FED. The gen uine has the nam I "D. FA H liN EY & SON" on the front of the outside wr ipper of each bottle. and the mune of I.lrs' D. r !Army & Son's Preparati'n for Cleansing the Blood, Boonsboro, Md., blown in each bottle. All others are CO UNTE 11FB1T. Rec cllect that it is Drs. 1). Fe limey & Eon's Celebrated Preparation for Cleansing the Blood that is so uni versally used, and so highly recommended ; aid do not allow the Druggist to induce you to take any thing else that they may say is just the same or as good, because they In eke a large profit on it. .PREPARED I.llr - Drs. 1). F.4III2NEY cf," SO,V, DOONSBORO, MD.., And Dr. P. D. Fahrney, Kedy - sville, Dlcl Ile sure to get the genuine. None genuine un -1 pe signed D. FAJIRNEY & EON. bold by Dr J. B. Amasnsox, Wayne:4lpr°' ; Dr. .1. lluaknot.nren, %Vim.; r t, goiney ; r1:1“):C SNIVK . v, Shady GrOVC.. SVIC 31)- 637051 C. N. BAEVER'S 'Come, George—just a drop at parting. Heaven only knows when we may nreet again. You are to settle among the hills of Berk shire iu the West, and 1 amid the vales,of Middlesex, in the East. Just-a glass to our success ' 'No, Male-am ;if would accept a true pledge of success I muse not find it io the wine cup, I hold the cap as a signal of failure' C N 13EAVER'S. They were young men, both of them —j ust admitted to, the bar, and-ready ta cuter upon the practice of their profession. And on this bright, crisp autumnal after noon George and :Malcom were t' separate. They had selected . their fields of labor, and were prepared to enter upon the work cried Maleam, in response to his friend's last rtquark, 'there's promise in bright wine it one knov.s how to use it. Corue and take a parting glass with me.' 'No, Malcom—you niuq not ask me. NV cre I to take the -cup to my lips I should fear it as I might a viper taken to wy bosom.' 'llo you mean to say that you are going to be a teetotaler ?' And , shortly after/this they parted. Malcom Carling removed is Middlesex county, where he very soon gained fur him self a host of friends and au extensive prao tice Ilis intellect was bridiarit , his wit was ready and caustic his humor was rieb nod. exuberant, and big flow of language was from s fount of thought and imagery that "never fai'ed. His path seemed a pleasant one in deed Oily }lovers of rarest colors and most exquisite fragrance hedged it, while sweet, music kept aloe to the dropping of the-glit tering sands in the glass. It was the path he had chosen from the Erg. Its goal was the highest possible,plane of the social life, and the presiding genius was the Spirit of the wine cup. Ile reached the goal ere he knew it. All the j-ys of life he had chosen Lad been tasted ere ho reached his prime. A brief space, nod the flawers began to wither; the thorns protruded, bare and sharp; the sweet musics grew fainter as dise•ordent notes crept in to mar and break the haiwony; nod the sands of the glass—dropping. dropping, dropping —h a d l us t their glitter, and now fell , darkly and solemnly into the back flowing the of the time that was lust. George Nixon Briggs established himself in Berkshire, and pursued his way in the path ho had chosen. Alf that he was be owed to his own endeavors, and all that het:mold hops for in the future must come through these= channel. -At the age of thirteen be bed been apprenticed to a hatter, at White Creek, New York, where he remained for two years At the-ago of fitter') his brother bad taken him troth the hatter's shop and sent him to au academy. in one year thereafter, his brother had died, from which time he had been. left to steer his own. bark, and select his own chart. .ri WAYNESBORO', FRANKLIN COUNTY, PENNSYLVANIA, THURSDAY MORNING, NOVEMBER 17, 1670. I"O3EITIC7.AL.L. 'TIS SWEET, THOUGH SAD AT EVENS 'Fin sweet, though sad at even, When the fire's light is low, To gather 'round the hearthstone In the ember's fitful glow ; And call from memory's keeping The cherished ones of yore, Who dwell with us no more. Those bright and happy children That used to please us se, Like Ludo at Autumn's coming, ey pens e ong ago. The fur rind gentle maidens ho bit ssed these homes of - A h, me, they too departed, And left us with the flowers. As these come thr ingiWround From friendship's broken chain, We half forget our sorrow In seeing them again ; Once more their eyes seem soaring. Ina sea of holy light, Ar if thcir_souls_were dreaming, Of. a better world's delight. Thus, at the doze of even; When on the half lit wall, • = .d-ows-rem-to-lertgare Into phantom.: grim and mil; Dear mc , lsKtry brings around us The friends of other years, 'Till our minds grow full of thinking And-o—reyes grew dim - with tear:: .Life a vapor fleeting is, Short, smut aimmed with earthly tears ; Joys, whose transient hours are borne, Downwards by its earthly tears. Thus its morning hours are spent, Eager for the coming noon ; And the evening shadows 0 Id us ti igliing that they come so boon. Life's a lake, so calm and bright, On whose breast otot_.--westecrt-:-- A 11 before us shining glory, All behind us dark and drear. But beyond this Life there's teaming another whose bright fl mere Waft their n 4 ventlying perfumes Through the Everlasting Hours. -Wirlsl9rVtiVVl THE TWO PATHS. , Upon that course I am resolved, and let the luture decide between us.'" True to the loftier instincts of his nature An Xrk.cloperi elLexkt '*"'et,ixL.l.l.7sr MiTerwsromper; he had selected the path of honor end moral duty, feeling assured that if be sought first the kingdom of God and (lie righteousness, all other things would be given unto him.— He was a social man—pre-eminently eo— and a owe genial companion never blessed the social circle; but he did-net prostitute the higher nature to the allurements of the fes tive board ; nor did he allow himself to be deceived by the false glitter of the bacohana• lien tinsel. He lived true to the pledge which he had taken in his early manhood —the pledge of total abstineace from intoxicating liquors—and the huger be lived the more reason bad ho to bless God for the choice he had made. At the ago of thirty he was eleeted'to Con grass-from the Berkshire district, and in that capacity he was retained during six emcee sive terms, declining further service in that direction upon being nominated to the office et Gomoor. At. the age of forty•seven he as — efect - ell — thwer our 4;1 - 111 - assa - ctrus ago which office he was annually re-elected from 184-3 to 1851. It was a cold, bleak day in Much. Gov ernor Brigga bad just demanded from his room io the State House, and was loaning against the railing which guards the statue of Washington, in conversation with a friend, when a page approached and handed him a note, He broke the seal and read, It was from the Mayor of the city, informing him that . a man bad been picked up in the gutter during the night by the watch, and wus now pronounced to be dying of delirum tremens. 'lle says,' wrote the Mayor, 'that be knew you once—that you -were his friend and echoolmate. He will not gi"e his name. If ou would like to see him come soon.' The Governor hastened• down to the City Building, and with Dr. Smith, the city•phy sician, he went down into the police station where the poor waif lay. Alas ! he would never have recognized in —that wasted, shattered wreck o nuntotty tle friend of his youth; but so it wasz_O ! _what a sad, sad.sight. 'I las he any eaasoiousness left ?? 'the Gov mot asked. 'lle has had one or two lucid spells, Litt the delirium has about slept itselt, ll.e can rave no more. At this moment the sufferer started; and opened his eyes----dark, eavereoua eyes, blear ed and ghastly, but with a gleam•of intolli• geoco in their sunken depths. - 'Who spoke ?' he demanded, in a • hollow, whispered tone, 'Malcolm, it was"l. Don't you know me?' The poor man struggled to raise himself, and the attendants helped - Tim, and when he had been lifted to a sitting posture with pil• lows at his bad:, he looked• up, know the voice,' he said. 'And don't you know the lace ? Look at me, Malcolm' A little time, and something like a smile broke over the worn and haggard face. 'George !Is it you r 'Yes, Malcolm. lam your old school-fel low. You surely remember me now,' Malcolm Carling grasped the hand of his friend and gazed up into his taco. Another faint smile crept in upon his scarred and tor. tured features, but it quickly faded away and something Ike a pearl glistened upon the drooping lashes:" 'Malcolm, what can I do for you ?' 'Nothing—nothing, George. I am• past help. I chose my own path and I have tray cled in it—and here I am. you—you. Ali ! why should I murmur ? You chose the better path, George—and there you ale. You Governor of Massachusetts, and I—l—' `The voice choked, the features were con vulsed ; a moment so, and then the eyes were opened, the smile flitted back and he 'mur mured, as his head sank, "sic transit gloria u lie had reached the end of the weary way. and another wreck• upou- .the terrible reel which a pernicious appetite has reared amid the waters of life. Gov. Briggs told• me the story of Malcolm Curling as we sat together upon the platform on Boston Common, during. the public recap Lion of Father Matthew. Does Farming Pay ? "Yet, after all, does farming in Essex county, Massachusetts, pay ? -* * I need only to refer to the returns Of the income tax to find instances where men by farming alone . have in this country returned annual incomes atuouatiog to from $3 ; 000 to ss,ooo—enough to buy a good farm, with fair buildings I could name 80 Essex county farm of fifty acres, valued at $lO,OOO, the gross products_ of which were enough in one year to pay for it. It is an unusual occurrence, but such was the fact for that year. *- * I know of no kind of good farming that does not pay well, while no kind of poor farming will yield more than a poor living—nor Should it. Of course, any man who is a man, and cares for the comfort and happiness of his family, will see that abundance of vegetables, fruits,sniall and large, milk, eggs and poultry are growu upon the farm for family use We see this heading in our agricultural and other journals all over the country, with all kinds of answers, some of whieh are pre• posterous. The truth is, farming is like any other buiiness, and will pay just in proper tion as it is well and properly followed. A poor, a lazy, an ignorant, neglectful, or an iutemperate farmer, will Sod the business to "pay" badly enough, and if he makes both, ends meet at the end of the year he will be lucky. Rut if he follows the Inisioess care fully,„enetgetically, and intelligently, there is none that will pay more liberally, or at least more certainly. .We look upon farming as the most sure, inviting and independent pur suit that exists. No man qualified for it ever !galls" or becomes poor. On the contrary, be is annually becoming richer and his family more cothfortable and happy. Assuredly farming will "pay" all whn know how to eon datet it Germantown Tcleraph A Wife worth Having. The distinguished William Wirt, within six-or eight months after his first marriage, become addieted‘to intemperance, the effect of which operated strongly on the mind and health of hie wife, .and in , a few.. months more she was numbered , with' the dead-- Her death lead him to leave the county where he resided, and remove to Richmond, where he soon rose to diatitietion, But his habits hung about him, and occasionally- be was found with the jelly and- frolioksome spirits,. in- baeltanalian revelry. His true friends expostulated with him, to convince him of the injury he was doing But he still persisted. his practice began to fall off, and manylooked upon him as on ths sure road to ruin. Ile was advised• to get married, with a view of correcting his habits. This he consented to do, if the right person offered. He accordingly paid his ad dressee to a Miss Gamble. After some incintti'eriittentious, he -asked - hey - band. in marriage. She replied :. 'Mr. Wirt, have been well aware of your intentions for sometime hack, and should have given you to understand that your vis its and attentions were unacceptable, had I not reciprocated the election- which you e vinced fot me. But I cannot yield my as sent until you make me a pledge never to touch or handle any intoxicating drinks.' This reply to Mr. Wirt was as unexpected , as it was novel. His reply was, that he re garded the proposition as a bar to all furth er consideration of the subject, and he left • course to Lion was the same as ever—his, resentment and neglect. In the course of a few weeks, he went again, and aolicited {tar hanrh_ Hat h er_reply_was r . her mind was made up. Ile became indig. nant, and regarded the terms she proposed as insulting. to his honor,. and. vowed- it should be the last meeting-t hey should ever have. Ile took to driekinl worse and worse and seemed to run headlong to ruin. One dayoshil.'e lying in the outskirts of the city, near a little grocery, or gregshop„ dead drunk, aloung lady, whom it is not necessary- to name, was pal - sing that way to her home,not far off, beheld him with his face upturned to the rays of a scorching EMI. She took her, handkerchief,with her own name mark. cd upon it, and placed it over his face. • After ho had remained= in that wny for several hours, he was awakened, and his Alrirst - being so great, he went into the little grocery or grog shop to got a drink, - when ho.discovered- the handkerchief which he looked at, and•the name that was oo it. Af ter pausing a low minutes, he exclaimed-: • 'Great G d, who left this with me I Who placed it on my face?' No one knew. Ile dropped-the glass, orelaimieg, Enough e nough I' He retired instantly from the store, forget ting his thirst, but not his debauch, the hand kerchief, or the lady, vowing, if God- gave him strength, never to touch, taste or handle intoxicating drinks. To meet Miss G. again was the hardest ef fort of his life. It he met her in hen carriage or on foot he would dodge, the nearest cor ner. She at last addressed him a note, under her own hand, inviting him to the house, which ho fieally gathered courage to accept. He told her it she still bore affection for him he would agree to her own terms. Her re ply was•: 'My conditions are now what they over have been' `Then,' said the disenthralled Wirt, 1- so cept of them! They were soon married, and from-that day ho kept his word, and his affairs brightened, while honor and gbry gathered thick upon his brow. His name has been enrolled high in the temple of fame,. while his deeds, his patriotism and renown live after him with imperishable lustre. Bow many noble minds might the young ladies save, if they 'would fallow the example of the heroine-hearted Miss Gamble the friend of humanity, ribber omntry, and the relative of La Payette.—St C. • Tenper ance A dvocate.. • • WO. The Memphis Avaitzach-dolls the follow ing. 'A little negro boot black entered the storehouse of one of our Front street mer chants, and politely invited the salesman in front to have a 'shine for five cents,' The clerk sought to excuse himself from the proffered invitation by saying that 'he would black the urchin's boots for five cents.'— The boy eyed him for a second, and, with the utaiost nonchalance-, plaeed his muddy hoof upon a box, and told the clerk to 'take a chair and he would . pay him five cerits,'— The eleik, to keep his word, proceeded• to pick up the boy's brash and blacking;.bat was immefintely stopped by the-youngster, who cried: 'Look ye her'; you got to get your own brush _and blacking for die job? Amid the laughter of a crowd, the plucky clerk- at once produced brush and blacking, aad in a few minutes the boot-black's boots became acq.u.tinted with a scientific polish. when the deed was done, the little 'nig' pro duced a five eent piece nod departed, whist ling the.onee popular air, 'John Brown's body lies mouldering is- the grave.' INTEOWITY IS CAPITAL.—Young men in business, write it to meet your eye oontia• ually, that high toned, unyielding upright ness is the first requisite and the most train able clement in the capital of a successful business„—With troops of friends and ample funds to begin with, a young man without . truth and'uprighteess will soon wreck the fairest hopes. But let a young buisnesa man -be all tight in his principles, be will win suc cess in spite of slim capital and few friends at the beginning. it is hardly possible for a young man' ol high moral charaeter to fail of suecee&, it he will Fatiently and int:loon. ously apply himself to his buisness.. Hun dreds of gooi men watch with interest the efforts of such, and are glad to say a kind word or lend a helping hand. A small _thing to.k7el—dioright Bide- of 133M1U VeODIO; A Word to,Stern Fathers; Ii sever cap "be too strongly' impressed npon the mind'thal.nothing felonies ti parent from his duties toward- a child. No way wardoess, rio r d4,obedietioe, no rebellion, no profligacy can eiret justify a father in cast ing a son lieidaushter adrift... We hear of sons being out off which a ehilling, of desugh tern, being forbidden their father's house, andovithout any exceptioni_suots eases are proof' that, of whateveraies the children way. hive been guilty, the, father is evens more guilty. No parson eats commit against so ciety so great a crime, as ts- father commits who is thus false to the trust which he him self has imposed—who- thus thrusts off from , himaellthe- soul which he called into being. A father ehould , be governed-by, no motive but his ohild'S best iateretits, and O child's best interests can never , be' 'served- by. any thing but his father's eonstant and •loving care. If a child is so bad that his influence is feared-on the other children, a separation between theta may be effected. If it is fear ed that money bestowed on him will be for his injury, provision may be made agairiet that as in the case 1- have mentioned.— gut when a lather, in a frt of anger,or as a reward for ill•dolog, disinherits or refuses to see his child, he commits a crime which the laws indeed do not recognize, but whose guilt , it would take many a legal crime to out weigh: There should be absolutely no limit to parentallorgiveoess and forbearance Seven, timee-and seventy times-seven should' the fkther receive 'the prodig al son who seeks his face; and if he never see ks _ it, if he goes, stubborn and rebellious, not one atom of fatherly care and interest should be relax; for_the_chililitaie•ohildi his offspring, born of his will, And no vice or violence can re lease the man from his solemn obligation to guard and guide, so far ae-possible, the life whioh , he dared-to gives. , .1311 JUST TO TOUR 110SEIC.— This advice of the American Stia3k Journal : We sometimes see men having the care of horses, ,whipping the animals because they do nut understand their wishes. Many a time the I ader r borse or mule,is unmercifully ltv‘afea for oo , other reason than that•the driver's or der is not understood. If tbo driver•in such a case would speak gently to the leader, pat him a moment on the- neck to reassure him of his friendship, take hold of the bridle, and lead him a few steps in the direction he wish-H es him to go, and all this without any excit e 7_l ment or auger on , his part, the leader will always de his-best toplease him. r _te driving a horse to,a carriage, however gentle and well trained he may be, something way happen to alarm or frighten him; this is no fault of' his , --he cannot belp . it. All he needs is a word or two of encouragement, gently spoken, to , reassure him of , his tuas ter's presence, ati&that it is all right. 'There sbori!d - be rib whipping done. The driver should reeolleot that he acts alarmed or fright ened, too, sometimes, and- would think hard of being whipped for it.. EARLY LABOR —lb nine eases out of ten no man's life will be a success if he does not bear his .burdens in his childhood. - If the fondness or the vanity of father and mother kept hiM from, contact with hard labor; if another always helped him out at the end of his row; if instead of taking his turn at pitch nag off, ho mowed all the time—in short, if what was light always fell to him, and what was heavy about the same work to some one clan, if he has been permitted• to shirk until shirking has,hecome a habit —unless a mir. wale is wrought, his life will'be a failure and the blame will not be half as much his as that of weak -foolish parents. On the other , hand, irti hey has been brought up to do his • pact, never allowed to shirk any legitimate responsibility, or permit. ted to dodge work, whether or not it made his Laek ache, or • soiled his• bands, until' bearing heavy, burdens teatime a matter of pride, the heavy end of the wood his from ehoiee, parents, as they hid him gond bye may di amiss their fearii. • his life wilt not be a business, failure.. The•eletnents-of• success are his, and at some time audio some way the world will.reeognize his 'rapacity.. .BOKILOWING: Trt or; sim Many thou i ana9.are there whose 'energies are paralysed by borrowing trouble I If they• are not very unfortunate td day they are certain .they wile be so to morrow They spend‘ so touch of their time groiminz, that they have' but lit tie left for the performance ofthe deities of life. Such are not the moo to whom. the• world commits impotent trusts; and whom it is most ready to assist: Ilion tell the wort that youare-goiag.to fail in any. undertak ing. it will be sure to talloyou,at your word Aod. men are most ready. to help those who appear to need it the least. It you an weak ; do your best to bo cheerful. ' Br" Allenfator and' Optative, the only reliable and most efficacious 'remedies in the world far thaspeedy cure of Corns, Bunions, Bad klaile,'&43. Sold by F. Forthmeo.. SUOKUT COURTSIIIP4 —A geologist onee traveling in a stage coach in England, hap pened to sit opposite to a lady; glances were exchanged, nod mutual admiration seemed to be the result. Eye language was soon ex changed for verbal eonversatfou; after a few interoltackges about fount and petrifaotions, they hogs* to talk , about living subjects— from generalities-ands speoialities—from the third person plural to. the• first Nemo sing*. lar. Said the gentleman r: am etill unmarried 'So am I; gootb the lady. •1 have sometimes thougls of marrying,' said the former. Then a pause matted, . 'Suppose,' said the gentleman, 'we were to marry one another—l would love and cherish.' 'l,' said. the Lair one, 'would honor and' obey.' 'ln two days they were married. INsbzu Mew° Some years ago, in one of our western courts, three men—an-Englishman, an Irish tnao, and a Scotchman, were found guilty of murder, and sentenced to. bs hung The_ judge told them that they could each °hods° a tree on which to be sarung up ' The Scotchman promply choose an ash, and the . Eflulishmau no oak tree. 'Well, Pat, what will you be bung .on?: asked the judg - e 'lf it would please your Ifnuf;r, i d rather be hung.on a gooseberry bush ' , rempou&it Pat. j itriga i sTl‘ at's -not big enough' 'ildgorra, thia,' says Pat; brighteting up, 'lll Wait till it grows.' A minister in Scotland desired his Learere never to call one another hut when any one said (the thing that was not, they ought to whistle. One Sabbath he preached a surtnon on the parable of the loaves and fishrs; and , be.' ing at a loss how to explain it; die said the loaves were not like those now a day—they were as big, as some of the hills of Scotl an d. He had timely pronounced these words when he beard a loud whistle. 'Whet; that ea's me a liar?' It is Willy, the baker' 'Well, Willy,what objection havele•to vast. I ha' told- you?' 'None, Mess John; only I want to know what sort of ovens they had' to bake those loaves in ?' TRUTHS —The following rasher hard "hits by way of definition, not_to be found in Web- titer. way cause a smile : Slanderer—A dog that goes unchained, an& snaps at everybody that is better than hin). self This applies also _to_the_fetainine• vender. t, Require--Everybody, yet notody a title_ ind iseriminntely applied 4o all aorta of people. Jury—Twelte prisoners in a box to try one or more_atitive_bar.---z-- • Lawyer— A learned gentleman who rescues your estate from your enemy and keeps i6._ himself. Dentist—A p_e_rson wbo flails wiark_for-Itis own teeth by taking out those of other people. Printer—At inns who is expected to airs his paper and lablor for nailing, and steal for:. credit. I=l Dr. Briggs' Throat and Lung Healer earl , . without any exaggeration, safely be said to be-the-best-remedy_for the Throat and Lungs that is manufactured. It heals the diseased tniinf3 - tiCCsurtaeo, restores the bulge, purifies the blood, acts upon the Liver and Kidney, and strengthens the system throughout. Sold. by 6. Forthman. A cabin•boy on board a ship, the captain: of which was a religious man, was called up to be whipped. for some misdemeanor -Lit tie Jack went crying and , trembling, and, said to the eaptaia,"'Pray sir, will you wait till I say my prayers?' 'Yes,'• was the stern. , reply. 'Well, then,' replied Jack, looking up and smiling triumphantly, say.em• when get on shore.' At a Debating Society out Westolta nth. er day, the subjeet was, which is the moat beautiful production, a girl or a strawberry? After continuing the argument for t nights, the meeting finally adjourned with out coming to a -conclusion—the old mem bers going for the strawberries, and:diet oung ones fur the girJe. ' When a young man's bead has began to run on 'alabaster shoulders,' exquisite ankles and similar excitie goods, be must either abut up, discontinue business and travel, or else some interesting piece of calico for file. A Wheonsin paper says, when a girt there is kissed, she looks surprised and says : 'How could you? To which the swain re plies : 'lt will give tue great pleasure tt.- sbow - you,and proceeds to give her a (WO. este.. Dt J Briggs' Pile remedies are acknosi , ledged by all who have trid them (sod their' name is Legion) to be the best, most success ful and efficacious remedies ever used for that. disease.• Sold by Druggists, &man is Buffalo pulled off him coat and . .uniped io the canal to save a woman from drowning,when a pickToettet stole his pocket. book from•his coat, and the woman abused him for pulling her. hair in his efforts to , save he ife, . An iriahmin calling at a-drug.atore to gets, a bottle of liniment ler the rheumatism, the druggist asked him in what part of the body, it troubled him most. 'l3o my soul,' said he, I 'I have it in ivery. houl and wines of OW A clergyman who had mite& iwmarriage a cauple whose Christian names were Benja min and Annie, on being asked by, a‘mutitall. friend how they appeared- during tho. cere mony replied that they appeared annietnatada and bene-fitted. "Why," said Bob "Pitting& to. William% Swipes, when he eaughk,bina drinking. 'A thought you, had. sigolphe pledge "Se L have,' said Swipes, ihnetilD sive, you know * , fail is dry weather.' A man in, Maine who kept a store, roiliest he syld a pint of.rum, always put his thumb into the measure—an enormous large thumb -and' at the end of , twenty years . praotiecr estimated' that be had sold , his thumb for at least five thousand and bad it kit. after all. The most beslifni ,girl we ever heartlnfwass the young lady wlio‘linatied when oho was' asked it abe had not-h** urting sleep.. --- - - ' ,0%,, here is au\ f _ " Iv* game Mat bas never been * ro iik ''l'''-"sed. that is °outdo& ~ -, z z...:1• „. fwv I.IIWR"
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers