_ \ • s ~ . • N. .4. -.' • ...d.k44, r s . , . . .• • 7 ---- ...,.. • ...". . ; P I t ... ~‘,..,_,..,.;•,,,,..,„..........,..•, ....,..., ..,, ~ ~.• , • .. VILL...• 4 : ' '.. (el E .., . ~ ......____:. ..., . ~,........ ~........... ....,. ) , :lt-.. , tui: J " O .+ , _ ' ...... n - • -..-',. it. 71,,,., I, \- ' • ~ c . . .• '. 1 .IB3T ‘717, 331ettr. VOLUME XXII. JLBSI WILL G. I. LID; MACHINE SHOP LUMBER YARD ! HE sucecribers having enlarged their 'she f•• &Hite latest improved machinery or . orking Wood and Iron, are now prepared to do ill kinds of Work in their Line, and are manufac. tiring. the I" illonghby's Gam-Spring Grain and Fer talizer Drill Grestl • Im s roved • The Cel- ebrated Brinkerhoff Cornsheller ; Gibsons Champion Washing Machine ;•John Rid dlesberger's Patent Lifting Jacks. • lii.E PROPRIETORS OF THE WAYNESBORO' SASH AND 813132TEMU airing furnished their situps with the latest int , roved Mactiinesy•fur this Branch of Business, they re now prepared.tetnanufacture stud furnish all . jnds•of 1 : IJILDING 11ATEIt.IAL 1 Ouch as Sash, Doors, Frames, Shutters, Blinds, ouldings, some Eighteen Different Styles.; Cot ice, ice, Staking, Porticoes; &c. &c., Flooring, Weath• rboarding, and R ALL KINDS LUMBER, furnished at ehort notice • tender-tour-thanlia-to-titc commenit • beral patronage bestowed upon us and hope by istet attention to Business •to merit a continuance f the same, Also agents for the Bele of Chloe #t Sevenson's trby Valley Chief,and World •Combined Reap• ng and M (wing Machinnes, sad she celebrated "tipper Mower. may 7, 1869] GROW II BIM FIRST PREMIUM LASTIC STITCH FAMILY EWING MACHINES, 495 Broadway., .New York. 730 Chestnut street, Philadelphia. POINTS OF EXCELLENCE. Beauty and Elasticity of stitch. Perfection and simplicity of Machinery. Using both threads directly from the spools. No fastening of seams by band and no waste of hr. ad. Wide range of application without change of ad uetment, The seam retains its beauty and firmness after arising and ironing. Besides doing all kinds of work dirrio — b 9 iez, these Machines execute the most beauti. full and permanent Embroidery and ornamental Svorit. Li' The Highest Premium. at all tin? fairs and pxhibitions of the United States and Europe, have been awarded the Grover er. Bolter Sewing Ma chines, and the work done by them, wherever ex hibited for .competition, [ rir The eety highest prigs, Txtt CROSS or tat !Raton op Boson, was conferred on the represents. livoof the Grover & Baker sewing Machines, at Lhe Exposition ,Universelle, Paris, 1869, thus attest, ng their great Sopa:Mt:By over all other hewing Ma hines. For sala by D. W. ROBISON, Wayaeaboro'. NOTICE. The andeiaigned having bad 17 years' xperience as a practical operator on Sewing Ma hines w.mlcl recommend the Grover & Baker Fein. ly Machine as the cheapest and best machine for 'amity use. The simplicity of construction and lasticity of stitch made by those machines are two ery in:mutant points in their favor. 250,000 of hese mackires are Xo.day hearing witness to the ruth of our assertions and the demand is steadily Increasing, We have also shuttle machines on band for Tail, ;re and Coach-trimmers' use. Call and ae° us. ). W. ItOBItiON, • Main at., 'Waynesboro', Pa, PIRST "PAU ARRIVAL IXTELSH has just received a fall assortment of VT Goods, in his line of business. His stock Ana sts in part, of all the latest styles of Men's and oys HATS AND CAPS, Men's, Women's, Mime's, Boy's and Children's BOOTS, GAITERS, SHOES Slippers of every description. I.4dies and LE3 121) Z3EI 0 4-1 3 onnet Frames; Trimmings, Sundowns and Hats revs Trimmings, !loop Skirts, Hair Diets, Hair e4io:y, ti.t4ire a , rarsackla, Bun ijalberelita. ktchoJl. Blank and AliseellenJous Booka,Station. ry of all kinds; Notions and Fancy Goods. MI of which will be sold as cheap as fle cheapest• dew. 20 i. R. WELISH SOAP-AWAKING. CONCENTRATED LYE, a fug pound in box at 20 cents SAL Sup lin large or small Laantities, suW low by W, A. REID. rob 8 WANTED,—I .4..actumge goods at a fair tarket price 'far Datum, Lim, Buttes, Alp, Cat.' in Raga, small Onions if &limed immediately, ;dap Beans, 4411, W, A, REID. JACOB rum, D. t. B. 8.13115111. L, LIDY, FRICK 100. WAYNESBORO', FRANKLIN COUNTf, PENNSYLVANIA, THURSDAY MORNING, MA.Y FORGIVB AND.VORGST. Forgive and forget —it is better To ding every feeling aside Than allow the deep cankering fetter Of revenge in they breast to abide ; For-thy-step thro' life's path will be lighter, When the load from thy bosom is east, Ar7di Jb — e — elry tiirit's above thee be brighter When the cloud of displeasure is past. Though thy spirit swell high with emotion To give back injustice again f Let it sink in oblivion's ocean or the remembrance increases And why should we linger in sorrow, When its shadow is passing awry, Or seek to encounter to•morroa The blast that o'er Swept us to-day"l Oh, memory is a varying river; Arrthough-it-may-placidly - glide, When the sunbeams ofJoy o'er it quiver, It foams when it reaches the tide. Then stir not the gurrent-to madness, For it's wrath thou wilt ever regret; Though the morning beams break on thy sadness, . Ere the sunset, Forgive and Forget. TEE THREE CALLERS. Morn calleth fondly to a fair boy, straying 'Mid ! olden meadows rich with clover-dew; She calls—but he still thinks of naught save playing; And-so she smiles and waves him an adieu; While he still merry with his flowery store,' .Dreams .Dreams not that Morn, sweet Morn, returns no Noon .cometh— , but the,hoy, to manhood growing, Heeds not the time—the sees but one sweetforra, One young, fair face, from bower ofjasainine ing. And all his loving heart with Misses warm ; ISo Noon, unnoticed, seeks the western shore, And man forgets that Noon returns no more. NIGHT, Nighttappeth gently at a casement, gleaming With the thin £re-light, flickering faint and low, By which a gray-haired mm is sadly dreaming • O'er pleasures gone, as all life's pleasures go; Night calls hint to her, and he leaves hie door !Silent and dark—and he returns no more. as2ec)33xax.; - Awsr - . - A TRADE IN RIDDLES. Nine persons sailed from Basle down . the Rhine. A Jew who wished to go to Salem pi was allowed to come on board and journey with them, on condition that he would con. duct! himself with propriety, add give the Captain eighteen kreutzers for his passage. `Now,:it is true something jingled in the Jew's pocket when ho struck his hand a. gaiost it; but the only money there was a twelve kreutzer piece, for the ether was a brass button. Notwithstanding this he ac cepted the' offer with gratitude. Fir he thought to himself, "Something may be earned evert upon the water. There is many a wan who has grown rich upon the Rhine." During the first part of the voyage the passengers were 'very talkative and merry, and the Jew, with his wallet under his arm. for he did not ley it aside, was no object of much mirth and mockery, as, alas, is often the case with those of his nation. But as the vessel sailed onward, and passed Thur ingen and St. Veit, the passengers, one after ,another, grew silent and gazed listlessly down the river, until ADO cried ‘Oome, Jew; Do you know any pastime that will amuse us ? your lathers wait have contrived many a one during their journey in the wilderness.' 'Now is the time,' thought the Jew 'to shear my sheep!' And he proposed that they should sit around in a circle, and he, with their permission, would sit with . them. Those who could not answer the questions, should pay the one who propounded them a twelve krentzer piece. This proposal pleased the company, and hoping to divert themselves with the Jew's wit or stupidity, each one asked at random whatever chanced to enter his head. Thus for example, the first• asked 'Bow many soft boiled eggs could the gi ant Gentili eat on an empty stomach F' All said it was impossible to answer that question and each paid the twelve krentzers. But the Jew said, 'Oce, for he who has eaten one egg, canting pot a second upon an empty stomach;' and the others paid him twelve kreutzors. The second thought, 'Wait, Jew, I will try you out of the New Testament, •and thiuk I shall wio my piece. Why did the Apostle PaUl write the Second Epistle to the 4Joriotbiaus r The Jew said, 'Because be was not in Cor inth; .otherwise he would have spoken to theta' $o he won another twelve lgreutzer piece. When the third saw that the Jew was so well versed in the Bible, he tried him a dif ferent way. 'Who prolongs his work to as great length as possible, and completes it in timer 4 The:ropemsker, if he he industrious,' said the,Jew. , le the meantime they drew near to a cif. lage, and one d eaid to another; 'That is liatn• Lich Then the fourth salted, 'ln what month do the people of Damlach eat the least r in.deriericieatat Family' ATervirsawavoer. The Jew said, go February, for it has on ly twenty-eight days' The fifth said, 'There are two natural brothers, and still but one of, them Is my unole. The Jew said, 'The uncle is your father's brother, and your father is not your uncle•' A fish now leaped out of the water, and a sixth asked, 'What fish have their eyes near est together ?' • The Jew said, 'The smallest.' The seventh asked, 'How can a man ride from Basle to Berne in the shade, in the suns mer time, when the sun shines ?' The Jew said, 'When he conies to a place where there is no shade, he must dismount and go on foot; The eighth asked, 'When a man rides in the winter time from Berne to Basle, and has forgotten his gloves, how must he manage so that his hands shall not freeze The Jew - said, He must make fists out of • • The ninth was-the-last.—This one asked, 'How shall five persons divide five eggs so that each man shall receive one, and still one remain in the dish ?' The Jew said, 'the last must take the dish with the egg, and he can let it lie there as long as he pleasea.' Bit now if came kis turn, and h - e — deterT. mined to make a good sweep. After many reliminar • corn s liments, he asked with an air of mischievous friendliness, 'How can a man fry two trout in three pane, so that a trout may lie in each pan?' No one-could answer this, and one after the other gave him a twelve kreutzer piece, But when the ninth desired that he should solve the riddle, he rocked to and fro, shrug ged his shoulders, and rolled his eyes. '1 am a poor Jew,' he said at last. The rest cried, 'What has that to do with it? Give as the answer ?' _ou must-not-take it-amiss--foi e poor Jew.' At last, after much persuasion and many promises that they o would do him no harm, he thrust his band into hie pocket, took out nevi of the twelve 'framer 01 , 1104 that he had won, laid it upon the tablei Ind saidy do not know the'answer any more a Here are my kreuteers' When the others heard these words, they opened their eyes, and said that this was surcely according to the agreement. But as they could not control their laughter ' and Were wealthy end good-natured men, ancr, as the Jew-had helped them to while away the time from St. Velt to Bchlampi, they let it pass; and. tbe Jew took with him from the, vessel--let a good arithmetician reckon up for me bob mush the Jew carried home with _him—lle_had_nitte_twelv_e_kreuteer_p_iecesby his answer, nine with his own riddle, one he paid back, and eighteen kreutzera he gave to the Captain. Treasures Every man is treasuring up stores for e• ternity c—the good are laying up treasures io heaven, where moth and rust doth not corrupt ;—the evil and impenitent are trees uring up wrath against the day of wrath '— What an idea is this! Treasures of wrath I Whatever the impenitent man is doing, he is treasuring up wrath. He may be getting ,wealth; but he is treasuring up wrath. He may be getting fame ; but he is treasuring up wrath, lie may be forming pleasing con nections ; but he is also treasuring up wrath. Every day adds something to the heap.— Every oath the swearer utters, there is some ' Hug gone to the heap of wrath. Every lie a liar tells, every licentious act the lewd man commits, adds something, to the treasure of wrath. The sinner has a weighter treasure of wrath to.day than he bad, yesterday; he will have a weightier one to.motrow than ho had to-day. When ho lies down at night he is richer in vengeance then when he arose in the morning. lie is continually deepening and darkening his eternal portion. Every uoghcted Sabbath increases his store of wrath; every forgotten sermon adds some. thing to the weight of punishment. All the checks of 4 consciance, all the remonstrancea of friends, all the advice and prayers, will be taken into account, and all will tend to in. ,crease the treasures of wrath laid up against the day of wrath.—J. A. Janice. A GOOD SCUOOLNIASTER —What a well assorted union of qualities is; required to constitute a good schoolmaster! A good schoolmaster ought to be a man who knows lunch mete than he is called upon to. teach, that ha way (cub with intelligence and taste; —who has a noble and elevated mind, 'that he way preserve that dignity of wind and deportment without which ho will never ob. Lain the respect and coulidence of families; who possesses a rare miature of gentleness and firmness, a wan not ignorant of his rights, but thinking much more of his duties; showiog to all a good example, and serving to all as a counselor; nut given tochange his condition, but satisfied with his situation he• cause it gives him the power of doing good ; and who has wade up his mind to live and die in the service of .primary; instruction, which, to him, is the service of God and his fellow-creatures.— Guizut. One of the hours of each day wasted en trifles or indolence, saved and daily devoted to improvement, is enough to waken igno rant man wise iu ten years—to provide the luxury of intelligence to a mind wand from lack of thought— to brighten up faculties perishing with rust—to wake life a fruitful field, and death a harvester of glorioui deeds, The father of Thomas IL Bentoo lies just four miles went of litlboro', Mi.4souri, buried amidst a Satoh of pines. Aud. a score or wore of el:wary people pass by the spot each day, and little regard that the father of one of the gresteet statesuieu of this country lies buried there. Such is faun. Serious fun—htmors in the blood. ••••• -- ~... The heroine of the following ludicrous incident—which we take from 'Before the Footlights and Behind the Boenee,'—is the author !lateen, Olivet Logan : A lonely path to the left looked inviting because of its loneliness, and I took it. 'Ab,' thought I, here is peace 1_ Who would be - i dweller theeity'e — bu sy when tranquility and quiet joy may be had in such abodes as these ?' For now 1 have reached some little cott- ages whioh lay contiguous to the railway, and were occupied, no doubt, by its em. ployes. Surrounded by trees, which only awaited the warm breath of spring to make them start forth into lovlinces and verdure, fronted by - a - little garden, whose well•kept beds showed both care and taste, with bright green shutters and newly painted front,, one little cottage in particular attracted tny at. tantion. 'Oh, for a lila , I sighed ; but even as 1 'did so, the sound of angry voices issuing from an inner room reac - hed my ear. A man in rage ; a woman is invective. Frightened, I hurried on. Peace i Mockery I No peace where rush the surging waters of the turbid passions - of Man. Peace may - com - e - wh - en - th - ese - have - subsided - in - nal quiet of the grave. The _rave I As usual, there are some not sr o . A quiet inviting spot. Thither I bend my steps, and pushing aside the swing. ing gate, I enter the churchyard. • The same old story on all the headstones. No wicked people buried here 1 All 're• epeoted for their virtues;' honored for their benevolence ;"beleved and regretted by all.' Faugh on the lying teeords I sink on a mound and think of that grave whose headstone bears, beyond the name and date of birth and death but one line; 'Our Father which tat in Heaven.' No mention of the large mind, the brilliant intellect, the culture of the study, or the poetic heart which lies there . now forever hushed. Better so. We, who knew and ved him, know all—this-raud -- thos ; knew him not, need not be told. The cold night wind sighs mournfully through the gaunt trees and chills me; hot tears trickle through my fingers as I cover my face with my ungloved hands and a few convulsive sobs, which relieve a heart full of melancholy remembrances, where many more such have fallen, reverberating with a hollow echo on the dull churchyard air. Mysterious spot I My flesh creeps as I survey the num.' berlees tenements of the dead, which lie on every side, and old stories that I have not thought of since childhood now force them• --se I ves-on-my—brain—wi th—horrible—dietincv nese The rising, and the walking of the dead I Their midnight revels, their cap- ture of the living for interment with them selves. an you.-- Terrified, I rise to go ; but at I do tio a sight meets my gaze which to my dying day I shall never forget. A dark, uncettain mass advancing toward me rapidly, irrespeo tive of their sanctity, up and over the graves with a strange and uncouth mode uf,locomo tion ; a headless, trunkless body, with two unnaturally long arms, borne, now straight upright, now distended wide on either side Of the Nothing to whiCk they were attach. ed. To fly or to remain —which ? Flight Impassible I What progress can I make against this lithe thing—l, with my trembling limbs stiffended with cold, and my whole body paralyzed with terror : Remain ? For what I Great Heaven, how do I know I For the doom which mortals meet when they med• dlo with the immortal for torture—lor agony—for despair! Tremblingly and with averted eyes I await my fate, for it is close upon me! As it nears me it speales —my blood freezes at the voice'of Nothing ! 'Sway, Ma'am, can't I walk on my hands bully r A ragged, saucy brat, offspring, perhaps, of the angry father and the invective moth• er, walking on his hands across the church• yard on a dark Sunday night for a wagor of one cent with a timid urchin I Disgusted, I rise. Disgusted with all things, particularly myself. Annoyed that the, hantom was not what I bad prayed it might not be, wishing it had been what I was overjoyed to find it was not, humiliated into blushes, fallen into the ridiculous, my* sell a laughing stock to myself, ashamed of my tight, laughing through tears, biting my lips with annoyance, while their corners were distended into smiles, I leave the churchyard and walk back to the hotel. Trip PEAL 1W NUT.—Daubtless many of our readers are familiar with an oblong brown nut, offered for sale in most of our fruit and confectionary stores, and known as the peacan nut. it belongs to the hickory family, and is a native of the extretne Southern States, being found in the greatest abundance in Southefu Louisisana and Texas' Within the • past• few years considerable attention has been paid to its cultivation in the States named. It is a very produetive,fruit, a tree at full maturity yielding from one to two barrels, which sell readily at from twenty. five to thirty five dollars per barrel. It thrives well in any good hickory soil, and succeeds admirably in the 'bottoms' or rich ridge soils of.gtorida, Texas, .Lotaisiana, and other Southern States. Some rash fellow.says that the giving of the ballot to women would not amount to much; for none of them would admit that they were old enough to vote until they worn too old to take any Interest in politica. The press, the pulpit ; the petticoats—the three ruling powers of the day. The first spreads knowledge, the second, morals, and the third, spreads considerably, A PHANTOM. =CI Every person should cultivates nice sense of honor. In a hundred' different ways the most fitting adjanot of the true lady or gen tleman is often tried. For instance, one is a guest in a family where, perhaps, the domes. tic machinery does nor run smoot hly. There is a sorrow in the honae unsuspected by the outer world. Sometimes it is a dissipated eon, whose conduct is a Anse and grief to his parents; sometimes-a relative whose ce• centrlcitibs and peculiarities are a cloud on the home. Or woret of all, husband and wife may not be in accord, and there may be often bitter wets spoken, and harsh raft. inations. In any of these eases the guest is in honor bound to be blind and deaf, eo far as people without are concerned. If a gen. tle word within can do any good, it may well be said, but to go forth and reveal the shad. ow of an unhappy. secret to any one, even your nearest friend, is an act of indelicacy and-meantrese-altheat—tmparalleled. One - fa - I the sacred precincts' of any home, admitted to its privacy,sharing_its_lifer,_aetbat.--you-, ere and hear is a sacred trust. It is as real ly contemptible to gossip of such -- things as it would be to steal the silver or borrow the books and forget to return them. A WORD TO Ofam.—There is a practice quite prevalent among the young of the pres ent day, which we consider very improper. We allude to their giving photographs of themselves to young men who are merely acquaintances. We consider it indelicate to the highest degree. We setoonibT. that any young girl should hold herself so cheap as this. With an accepted lover it It of course all right. Even •in that case the likeness should he returned if the engage ment should, by any misunderstanding, cease, If this little paragraph should meet the eye of any young lady who is about to give her photograph to-any-gentleman acquaintance, let her know that the remarks wide by many young men, when together, concern. jog what is, perhaps, on her part, a piece of ignorance or imprudence, would, if she heard EI:M3I =•;. , • • ; se—her—oheelts---toHnims shame and anger. 'Were it a•siater of ours,' and we have often said, 'were it a sister of ours'—but that not being the ease, we give this advice to anybody's sister who needs it, most insionsly debiting that she should at all times preserve her self-respeot. A lady was recently oat walking, mom panied by ner nurse and two ohildren near St Louis, when one of the latter was missed for a few moments. ,On being called, he answered from a little distance, 'Here I am, mamma, behind the stump. I'm playing with-a-big-beautiful-worm. Iv - e - and it opens its mouth ever so wide when I touch its teeth with the chip, Anxious to see the character of the child's playmate, the two women went to the spot, when, behold! they saw a rattle snake, two feet long, coiled against the butt of the stump, and the child thrustiog the chip a gainst its head. The snake appeared per fectly passive, not even giving the usual warning with its rattles., It is needless, per haps, to say that the mother was frightened beyond the power of motion. The nurse quickly removed the child, and one of the hands despatched the dangerous playmate. A little fiva.gear•old boy was being in structed in morals by his mother. The old lady-told him that all such terms as 'by golley !"by jingo!' 'by thunder etc„ were only minced oaths. and but little better than any other profanity. In fact, she said, he could tell a profane oath by the prefix 'by' —all such were oaths. 'Well then, mother; said the little hope ful, 'there's a big oath in the newspapers— 'By Telegraph." The old lady gave it np, and the boy is bewildered on morale. They have had cold weather in Vermont. An ezehaage . says a little boy up there went out one evening, after getting a whipping, to have a good cry ea the woodpile: An hour afterwards, when his mother went to hunt him, she found him•pinned down to a white oak log by icicles which had been formed from the tears as they ran from his eyes.— He ories in the house now when he fed!! sad. Josb l3illings gives some advice to young ladies as to how they should receive propo. sale of marriage : 'You oughter take it kinder lookin' down hill, with an expresbun about half tickled and skeered. Atter the pop is over, if your lover wants to kiss you, I don't think that I would say yes or no, but jilt let the thing kinder take its own courde.' An Illinois pastor received at a donation party eighty-nine dozen of eggs. A Maine donation party rivals that instance, a pastor there having received thirty-one bushels, of potatoes, seven bushels of corn, a beef tongue, seventeen mince pies, four pounds of cheese, a pair of guinea pigs, one pair of mittens, five hanks of stocking yarn, and one dollar and eighty-four cents in money. A Louisiana planter delik,hted bis hands last week by paying them in silver quarters. Gee old uegro exclaimed : Tederit money come and done gone, and greenbacks is played out, but die is de stuff that rats can't chew. Do old tips is come agin,' boo ray ?' And then ho went away and buried his money. . • • A young 'busk' nowadays is curiously compounded; he has a beaver on his head, a goat•eo on his ahin, kids on his 'bands, doe bkin on his legs, oasts sheep's oyes, and is looked upon by his doe•tiog dunk as dear: Bo courteous to all,iatitnate with few,aud of those few be well tried. .Young folks grow most when in lota It t increases their sighs wonderfully, Social Honori 5a..00, - 1 1, 03r Life Near the South Pole. Mr. Joseph Powel, Commercial agent of the United States at Port Stanley, Falkland Island; writes hot & as follows: 'You maybe aware that,.thts is, the last sailing point next to the South Pole. Be yond this no vessel ever veils, and human footsteps are never seen. It - is perpetual winter-snow every month in the year. The islands are naked of tree and bush, and very little soil-high mountains and bills of vol. cote rock over nine tenths.of the surface.- Nothing of the grain kind is raised-no seed time or harvest. There are no animals ex• cept wild horses and cattle. Foies and rab. bits have been.bronght here and increase much larger than those in the United States. No snakes, frogs fletta, epiders, bedbugs, or insects of any kind. The wind blown all the time-often so strong that you cannot look out. The population, all told, does not ex ceed three hundred on all the islands, and Ire_ver_y_poor.-This-424n1j-en-lvarbor-for wrecks. ,Expenses are very high and living poor - no_o comforts_of_life_w b atevetr_Boa rd and lodging annually $520. I'll come home first opportunity. l arn• distant from New York twelve thousand miles by sea. My voyage to my post of duty geoupied one hundred and five days. I am thirty days' tad - rcMnßielc - Janeiroi two - thcrusend -five hundred miles beyond Chili and Peru, and six hundred-miles-oft-Cape-Bern: 'lf_ever I'm mitrriod,' laid Ike, looking up from the book he wee rending, and kick- • - tows-door-to r 'Don't speak of marriage lease,' said Alta. Partington, ''till you are old enough to un. derstand the bond Chit binds congealing souls. People masa% think of marriage with impunity. It's the first thing children think of now•a•days, and young boys piano fortes; and young girls with their hem& frioasieed into spittoon curls, are talking of marriage before tbez_get_oat_of_thsiLoanteens- Think_ of snob ones getting married I' A gentleman who was very zealous on the know-led itebong h t-a—mare_at_triution an cl rode her home. 'Well, theist,' said ho to his sable eoaohman, 'what-do—you think of her? She cost me fire hundred dollars.' - Tango, master.' 'Yesr but what do you thiok ?' 'Well, manta, it makes me tick ob what de matter said yesterday—something about his money is soon parted. !disremember de Puce part!' OLD LAM—Tan ;on tell me my goon , man where I ego find Mr. Janes ?' Pat.—'Sure ma'am. I *spent it would be at hie house ye wiiird find hire.' Lady.- I Does he lit* anywhere in thy 'Mete hem ?' oo Wade ; it's net for all the likes of bhp to be Jivio iu the strata et all.' Lady.- 4 You stupid filler', I mean rim; number does bie family map at V Pat.—'Noit ma'am you hare me , he has six bop and four girls already, but whether be means to stop at thst number—' Lady.—'Oh you blockhead I' Exit. Ofd lady fn•a tremor at iadigestica. An incorrigible loafer being taken to task for his lazinees, replied : II tell you, gentlemen, you are mistaken; I have not got a lazy bone in my body, but the tact is,l was born tired. A California paper heads an article, 'Re. markable coolness of a young lady.' She paned another women and never turned a round to sneer at her bonnet. A raiser of poultry in Louisiana has dug a well at the entrance of hie ben hangs, and placed a tilting cover on it. His catch aver• ages one darkey s night. • There is a lawyer so execosively honest that he •pate all his flowerpots out over night so determined is he that everything Alta have its dew. The Boston Commercial Bulletin sap that 'old sledge was invented by Nebuchadnezzar. lie got his living on 'all tours' for save❑ years.' A young lady, being asked by a rich old bachelor, •if not yourself, who would you rather be?' replied sweetly sad modestly, 'Yours truly.' Mr. Smith says that 'a lady .030 show anger as well by tier bank, in leaving a room, as by her face.' This must be when her 'back is up.' _ An old lady, hearing somebody say the mails were very irregular, said: was just so in my young days—no trusting any of 'em.' Josh Billings says the man who wrote would not livo always, I ask not eo stay,' probably had not been urged sufficiently. Why is a man who runs away without paying hie rent liii . l an army officer? Ans. —Because he's a etessat. • • There's a man iu)own who keeps a list of all the banks in thaponntly, so as to be able to say that, be keep bask aueouat. We are apt 10 see the clouds that hang over . ns, forgetting the clear sky beyond them. An ,ttopleaslot sort of arithaietio--Divis ion swung families. The next amendment is celled •the sweet sixteenth.' , • A roll:abet of 'addle ages - 44Ait oldmaid't love letter. ; Umbrellas wic4. windows are rite latest 'ha: tendon. NUMBER 44
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers