J A Dear Jack and Jill, I am a cross-dressing cycle gang leader. lama supplier of drugs to the Amish. I just hooked up with my girlfriend's brother's wife, but I actually like her brother better. Or maybe her dog. But anyway, when I get invited to bam raisings, what do I you think goes better with black leather; my steel-toe high heels or the more demure patent leather work boots and also, should / wear gold or silver chains ? -Unsure Crossword Companion Answers on page 6 16 Took in 17 Admirer 18 Chinese monetary unit 20 Resigned (abbr.) 21 Liability 22 Cut 24 Cat 25 Article ACROSS 1 Place for experiments (abbr.) 4 Kick 9 Clap 12 Happy 13 Cheer 14 Age 15 Visualize I L L Um, the high heels sound nice and I would stick with silver, unless you opt for brown leather occasion ally, then definitely go with gold. And oh, yeah, go with the dog. What kind of hog you drivin'? What kind of drugs you sellin'? What kind of dog is it? You don't give me enough details to answer your questions, so I can't help your pathetic little problem. 27 Slow 30 Cam 33 -eer (variety of) 35 Plant 37 Extravehicu lar activity (abbr.) 38 Sand below water Jack: 40 Song 41 Square of any type size 42 Drag 43 Ooze 46 Map; chart 48 Ova 50 Break 53 Sup 54 Assembly place (Gr.) 56 Mat 57 out (complete) 58 Gemstone height 59 Of the kind of (suf.) 60 Lead (p.t.) 61 Swelling 62 The letter B DOWN 1 Speech defect 2 Toward which the wind blows 3 Bless (p.t. form) 4 Cot 5 One who scares 6 Stuff it Two Capital Times staffers fired over scandal Involves alien abduction and use of probes Dan Zehr and Matt Bowman, who have been the editors of the Capital Times since last spring, are headed separate directions after finally graduating Bowman plans to receive his degree in Communications from Penn State Harrisbutg this May, while Zehr plans to leave the country as soon as he can pass English 101, a basic requirement course in the freshman year. “Somehow, he’s been passed through the system without this being noticed, which is suspicious of an insider conspiracy. It certainly is not the fault of our streamlined computer services, because in our attempt be fiscally suave, no one should actually be dealing with real human beings to get anything accomplished within die Penn State realm,” said Dr. Graham Spanier, President of Penn State University. “The buck stops now for Mr. Zehr, however. He absolutely cannot have his degree until he returns to wherever he came from and passes this simple, elemental course.” Although reluctant to admit the fact of his failing, Zehr had a defensive response. “It weren’t my fault, he said. “I forgot to use the spell-checker on a couple of papers.” If he is successful in another attempt t( 7 A follower (suf., pi.) 8 Woman's name 9 Umpire 10 Semitic 11 Hoot 19 N.E. state (abbr.) 21 Dig (p.t.) 23 Lupino 25 Broadcast 26 Died 28 Bth letter, Greek alphabet 29 Bottle 31 Sue 34 Akin 36 Dream stage (abbr.) 39 Obese 44 Not over 45 Subject 46 Pare 47 Weary 48 Mild oath 49 Stick onto 51 Irrational 52 Rover 54 High card 55 toe If you would like to write stories for the Capital Times, we meet every Thursday at 12:15 in room W-341. We will need a photographer next year, as well as a business manager, and writers. By Barb Roy in the Arabian republic of Yemen. “It’s been a semester-long dream to attend Yemen U,” said Zehr. “I’ve been carefully following happenings there from the UP (United Press) wire. Its warmer and I’ll get to own my own Uzi. It’s standard for all students to carry one. His scholastic plans are to study textile design, while his second choice is to herd sheep in Uzbekistan. After he receives his degree, Bowman plans to head south to Florida to develop a career as a professional amateur golfer. “I would like to be the best amateur golfer on the miniature golf circuit,” he said. “I will be the greatest amateur golfer. I will be a professional at it.” He plans to train a couple of little junior golfers, as well. “I am getting married. I love kids. We plan to have ten of them; surely one out of the ten will be the next Tiger Woods. I figure its like throwing mud on the wall to see what sticks. Did I tell you I was getting manried?” The staff of the Capital Times has mixed feelings about their departure. “I will finally get to hoard the desks and personalize the computers in the (Capital Times) office,” said an unidentified staffer. “I wonder how much is in the budget that we We don’t get paid, but we do party.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers