Page 6 Jim's Journal 'rectal Ruth ay. A WI% heitiYect up 5 10 a woae A our hAmais l ot I. 'wade SowLe 04 batck of it v;ILiKS keivAet coicto.4l with tht ikims out of because ske e4Ki r. wade a crusii 5••?. Pee per ViAckche. •ti‘ou9lvt if would ilotie• be furl • 1 4 A 4 w •v -' ey. e l " i r. Vt z ls i'. 4 4'• • \ psi. • • Nr •eir . . gb. -4111 1 / 4 a. 1, . c. l4'° 11 81 1 : j 'ISJ ii .a :---- ''''.. f, • , _ .4iv • .. ..: 11111/ _ - OUT ON A LIMB by GARY KOPERVAS Your.Rez/Horoscope by Ruby Wyner-lo A.A.B.P-cenified Astrologer Aries: (Mar. 21—Apr. 19) You don't need to make yourself no i :ed. You're hydroencephalic, and you spout obscenities at will, so you're hard to ignore. Taurus: (Apr. 20—May 20) Your artistic skills will come in handy when you spray-paint "KKK" on a local children's center. Gemini: (May 2: June 21) Your love life is flaring up—and so are your hemorrhoids. Apply a soothing ointment to the grape fruit-like appendage that was once your anus. Cancer: (June 22—July 22) Your future is so bright you'll try to claw out your eyes. Leo: (July 23—Aug. 22) Don't overlook someone's romantic intentions. Rod Milbrant, your physics teaching assistant, has a crush on you. Vargo: (Aug. 23—Sept. 22) You will embark on an incredible journey. Take plenty of Braunschweiger. Libra: (Sept. 23—Oct. 23) A loyal A 'propene,. beet;te" FF PICKERING (qllt7l friend will surprise you with a candid admission. From now on, never trust anyone named Hitler. Scorpio: (Oct. 24—Nov. 21) Take time to reflect on what an in- credible moron you are. Sagittarius: (Nov. 22—Dec. 21) The loss of loved ones will be shattering to you after you kill them. Capricorn: (Dec. 22—Jan. 19) Your future begins today, as does a painful bout with the clap. Don't worry—it'll be fun. Aquarius: (Jan. 20—Feb. 18) Open your mind to new ideas, especially those involving paste and empty potted -meat tins. Pisces: (Feb. 19—Mar. 20) Bridge the gaps of culture today with understanding and acceptance. Talk to some swarthy, greasy for eigner. Ruby Wyner-Io denies any affilia tion with Dionne Warwick or oth ers of her ilk 01993 Onion Features Syndicate [Fuovri "WEIRD" 4111 . 11 CA I I 040 * * by trim A "propeller beeoilk " at co ' -b i ',ter- vi e.w Aaolott , As .G 0 c civ0. c7 ...6..... ..,iit7 C 3 Ci ce c ..o c , cs cort,c i,d p i .4 Thursday, January 20, 1994 P. S. Mueller 1:=1 I=3 vo lt I I=c rpr 10 . A lA. A . ' 6. if 1E 4 l==l "My mom never complains about me not going to church with her." Plailik
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers