FREELAND TRIBUNE. Establish®! 1883. PUBLISHED EVERY MONDAY, WEDNESDAY ANU FRIDAY. NY THE TRIBUNE PRINTING COMPANY, Limited. OFFICE: MAIN STREET ABOVE CENTRE. LONG DISTANCE TKI.KPUONU. SUBSCRIPTION RATES. FREELAND.—The Tallin NE is delivered by oarricrs to subscribers in Free 1 uud ut the rate of 12 S cents a month, payable every two months, or $1.50 a year, payable in advance. Tho TRIBUNE may be ordered direct from the carriers or from the otlice. Complaints of irregular or tardy delivery service will receive prompt attention. BY MAIL.—The TRIBUNE is sent to out-of town subscribers for $1.50 a year, pay a bio in advance; pro rata terms for shorter periods. The date when Che subscription expires is on the address label of each paper. Prompt re newals must be made at the expiration, other wise the subscription will be discontinued. Entered at the Postofflce at Freeland, Pa., as Second-Class Matter. Make all money orders, checks, etc., payable to the Tribune Printing Company, Limited. FREELAND, PA.. JUNE 14, 1901. FACTS 114 FEW LINES Great Britain's revenues from the Chinese opium trade amount to $lO,- 000,000. Tho average price received by nil the gas companies in Massachusetts is n.lO per 1,000. The German city of Cnssel will cele brate the thousandth anniversary of its foundation in 1013. Paraguay is to be added soon to the list of coflee growing countries. There are now übout 1,000,000 plants in the nurseries. Nearly all the kitchens of the better class of restaurants in Sydney are 011 tlie top floor, and the clothes are dried on the roof. An almanac 234 years old lias just been sold in Boston for $155. It wns printed for tlie year 1007 by Samuel Ureen in Cambridge. Nearly 14 per eont of the total num ber of wage earners in Minnesota arc women; according to the report of the state labor department. Forty-four years ago the Kansas Kaw river was navigated from its mouth up as far as Lawrence. Now railroads do the business. Two hundred and thirty thousand eight hundred and twenty-one women are employed in English cotton facto ries and only 147,245 men. The Actors' club at Budapest lias held a demonstration in favor of pro hibiting plays being performed in Hun gary in a foreign language. A year ago there were 3,025 public schools in Cuba, with 125,000 children. Now there are 150,000 school children, nnd new schools are being built. A new census has just been made of tlie American buffalo, which gives the total number as 1,024. of which GS4 are in captivity and 340 in a wild state. Japan has a cooks' guild, and the ex acting housewife who discharges her cook without reasons that satisfy that guild will llually be effectually boy cotted. Considering what a wet place Eng land Is, the country Is singularly 111 supplied with water powers. There is water everywhere, but hardly a drop for driving. Cork intends to follow Glasgow with an Industrial exhibition in 1002. Lord Cadogan lias signified his Intention of subscribing £250 toward tho fund, which lias already reached £5,000. One of tlie smallest parishes in Wales is tlie historic parish of Slier, in the Bridgend Union. It lias only a popu lation of eight or nine souls. Nash and Stombrldge, two other parishes, only number 14 inhabitant's between them. People give more time to recreation than they did years ago, and tlie world is the better for It. Occasional out ings, railroad journeys, visits to Inter esting points both at home and abroad, have greatly swollen the tide of travel. India nnd Ceylon have competed so successfully with China in the produc tion of tea that whereas in 1880 2,100,- 000 huhdrcdweiglit of the leaf were exported from China only 1,031,000 hundredweight left the country iu 1800. At the Paris exposition tlie United" States weather bureau was awarded a grand prix. Gold medals were also awarded to Professor C. F. Marvin for instruments, apparatus aud appliances nnd to Professor A. J. Henry for cloud photographs. Tlie art gallery of Washington and Lee university, which was opened to tlie public recently, contains 70 paint ings, all of which were bequeathed to tlie library liy tlie late Vincent L. Brad ford. Tlie collection contains many famous works of art. At least one co-operative colony, that located in Dickinson county, Kan., seems to be thriving. It was formed three years ago and lias made money from the start, clearing $1,842 last year. The colony lias a ranch, u gener al store, a bank and an insurance fea ture. "The Doctors told too my cough was Incurable. One Minute Cough Cure made me a well man." Norris Silver. North Stratford, N. li.—Bocuiiro you've not found relief fretn a stubborn cough, don't despair. One Minute Cough Cure has cored thousands and It will cure you. Safe and sure. Graver's City drug store. OASTOniA. Bears the yf The Kind Vim Have Always Bought OASTOniA. Beare the Boijghl I AFTER THE BATTLE. | A VETERAN'S STORY OF A TASSELED TURKISH FEZ. The Grewaomc Incident In Wlilck lie Participated at the Second ilnttle of MiuiiiKMftN—A Brave Hoy and lli* I)yinK llequeat. "Whenever I see a tasseled Turkish fez," said a Confederate veteran whose attention had been attracted by a smoking cap of that pattern in a Canal street window, "I am reminded of a curious and rather grewsome incident of my campaigning days. It was on ! t lie morning after the second battle of , Manassas," he continued In response to a request for tlie story, "and several of us from my compauy had gone over to the field in the hope of picking up a few things that we badly needed and j for which the dead had no further use ; —waterproofs, for instance, and sound I canteens. "During the previous day's engage ment you xuay remember that a regi ment of freshly recruited New York zouaves held the crest of a hill and were charged and almost annihilated by Hood's brigade. They were mowed j down like ripened grain and fell so thickly that their corpses literally car i peted the earth. I dare say it was as awful a slaughter, considering the j number engaged, as occurred anywhere i in the course of the^war. I "Well, we hadn't gone very far when ! we came to this hill and began to get among the dead men. The poor fellows had been mustered into service less than a week before, ami they were said to be the most gorgeously uniformed military troop ever organized. They wore scarlet Turkish trousers, blue jackets embroidered with gold bullion braid and purple fezes with long pend ent tassels. "Being just from tlio outfitters, all this fine regalia was perfectly fresh and new, and somehow or other it added to the gliastliuess of the specta cle on the hillside. The corpses were in all sorts of strange postures, and their fantastic costumes gave them an air of horrible grotesqueness that I couldn't begin to describe In words. "However, to come to my point, I had picked up a fez to carry away as a i relic and was about to leave the spot ! when I happened to notice a much I handsomer specimen on the head of a little zouave stretched out, stiff and i stark, a few yards away, with a hand kerchief over his face. 1 stepped up to I make a 'swap,' but had barely touched the tassel when a low, sweet toned j voice under the handkerchief said, 'Please don't!' I "For a moment," continued the veter an, "that unpleasant protest, coming | from what 1 had supposed to be a ! corpse, made my hair bristle on my ! head. Then I lifted the handkerchief | and was shocked to see the delicate, j refined features of a boy not over 15. j He was pale as death and evidently i desperately wounded, but he looked at ,me calmly. 'My God,' I exclaimed, I 'what a lad you are to be here!' 'l'm afraid I'm dying unless 1 have help,' ! he replied. *I)o you think the surgeons j will be around pretty soonV 'The Lord knows!' 1 groaned, for the boy's cour age touched me to the heart. 'Your surgeons have all run away, and wo only have a few, with more wounded than they can attend to.' 'Then 1 guess all I can do is to lie here quietly and die,' he said in the same gentle voice. 'Can you get me a little water before you go?' "I took his canteen and hurried down ; to a branch at the foot of the hill, | where the first thing I saw, by the j way, was the corpse of a zouave float ing in a pool. I went up the stream far j enough to get out of the horrible death ! zone, filled the canteen with pure wa ter and was soon back at the boy's side. 1 gave him a drink, and he thanked me. 'ls there nothing else I can do?' I .asked awkwardly, because 1 knew our com pany was under early marching orders that morning and that it would be im possible for me to linger much longer. 'Nothing at til, thank you,' he replied. 'No message to anybody?' 'No; noth ing, thanks.' "I turned away most reluctantly and had gone only a few yards when I lieai'd his thin voice calling me back. 'Excuse me,' he sajd, 'but 1 want you to accept this as a present,' and he handed me his fine purple fez. 'No, no,' 1 exclaimed, greatly embarrassed; 'I couldn't think of taking it. When I started to a little while ago, I thought you—you'— 'Thought I was dead, of course,' he Interrupted. 'Well, I soon will be, and that other fez will do me just as well. Please put It on my head and take mind.' 1 saw that he would be hurt unless 1 did as he desired, so 1 took the fez and went away. "In less than half an hour our com pany was on the march, and, needless to say, I never heard anything more of the little child zouave. He was badly Wt/unded and undoubtedly died where I loft him. I kept the fez a long time," added the veteran, "but it was finally | lost, with other odds and ends, in the j general confusion following tiie war. I'd give some money for it today."— Now Orleans Times-Democrat. Tlie C.ood kffcvlN of Apple lOatliiK* The apple Is such common fruit that few aiv? familiar with Its remarkable j efficacious properties. Everybody ought to know that the very best tiling tliey can do is to eat apples just before rc ! tiring fpr the night. The apple is an excellent brain food, because it lias more ( *nsplioric acid In easily digested shape f> m any other vegetable known. II cxcit s the action of the liver, pro motes sound and healthy sleep and thoroughly disinfects the mouth. That Is not all The apple agglutinates the surplus acids of the stomach, helps ttie kidney secretions and Is one of the best preventives known of diseases of the throat.-Journal of Agriculture. I TIMING YOUR TRAIN. XVny* In Which to I.ctirn llow Fast You Arc Traveling. "There has been some picturesque fiction written about the ease with which railroad men and drummers are supposed to tick off tlie miles ns the train speeds along from things they can sec from the car windows," said a railroad conductor to a reporter. "There Is only one strictly accurate way, and that Is to seat yourself on the side of the train from which may be observed the white mile posts that line the road and hold your watch on them. | If you have a split second watch, it will prove Interesting to note that while you made one mile in GO seconds the next wns covered In 53 and the third in 70 seconds, and so on, as the speed of the train increases or slack ens. You may also follow around the little second hand on an ordinary watch. It kills time. "Some pretend to say that they can i toll the speed of the train by counting | the telegraph poles. If there were an exact number of telegraph poles to ev ery mile, this might be done by a little figuring, but there Is a difference. The number of telegraph* poles to a mile vary from 33 to 40, depending upon tlie straight stretches and the curves In the track, the latter having more poles than the former. So, you see, it Is not as easy as the drummer would have j the other passengers believe. "If llio poles are planted 33 to the | mile, they are IGO feet opart, and every 14 passed represents a third of a mile. If placed 40 to a mile, they are 132 feet apart, and every 20 represents half a mile. "These are easy figures to remember, and by applying them on a Journey a passenger may obtain an Idea more or less accurate of the speed of the train. ! "Another way is to attempt to count 1 tlie clicks of the wheels of the truck of ; your car as they pass over the rails where joined. Tlie rails of the roads ns placed today are too evenly joined to arrive at an exact determination by this method, because if you miss two or three joints your calculations are thrown out ns to accuracy, j "However, there are railroad men I who cannot tell you the number of rails to tlip mile of their own roads, and rails vary In length, the average being 30 feet, some 33 feet and some GO feet. At 30 feet there are 17G rails to the mile, and if you can count 17G consecu tive clinks ns your train flies along you may determine Its speed and not other wise."—Washington Star. , THREE SIMPLE QUESTIONS. And tlie Librarian Could Not Answer One of Them. One day two well dressed young wo men approached tlie desk of the read ing room of a big library. One of them took a memorandum from her pocket ; book. i "Can you tell me bow many yards— oh, that's the wrong list!" she said, hastily bringing forth another slip of paper. "Here it is. Will you please tell me who is Uudyard Kipling's fa j vorite author?" i "I am unable to tell you, never hav ing beard that he had one," admitted one of the librarians, i "Dear me!" said the young woman Irritably. "It Is oue of the questions for our next club meeting. Well, which one of Thackeray'B books brought him the most Income?" "That you can probably find out by consulting a book, the umber of which I will give you," said the official. "Oh, I can't stop to look it up!" she said hurriedly. "I thought you could tell me at once. Well, there's one more thing. Bessie Cummock, uiy cousin in Manchester, had a splendid book when 1 was there last year for anecdotes of famous people. I can't remember the name of It or who wrote it, but it was about so big"—illustrating with oue lin ger on the desk—"and it has a dark green cover. Now, can you tell me what it is? Some day when 1 have time I would like to get it out. Of 1 course you must have it in the libra ry?" For the third time the official was obliged to confess bis iuability to give her direct information. She looked at him with a piercing gaze and turned away, saying audibly to her compan ion: | "There, that just shows what all this talk about their being examined for positions in libraries amounts tol Three perfectly simple questions, all on liter ary subjects, and be couldn't answer one of them I"—Savings Journal. The Toothpick Habit. "I'd like to know what my custom ers do with all the toothpicks they car ry away," remarked a restaurant pro prietor the other day. "Few men take a single toothpick. Most of them take half a dozen and many a whole hand ful, and when they come in here again for the next meal they take as many over again. They don't need them. It's all due to the toothpick chewing habit, which seems to be growing. There isn't anything particularly pleasant übout chewing a wooden toothpick, and it may be injurious if a piece of the wood lodges In the throat or gets down into the stomach, as it is very apt to. But the toothpick chewing habit is be coming a rival to the gum and tobacco habits. The only reason I can give for it is that the toothpicks arc free and gum uud tobacco are not."—New York Sun. SnofTcri Ont. Friend—What became of your poem called "Light, Beautiful Light?" I'oet (sadly)— The editor turned It down.—Philadelphia Record. Don't wait until your friends are dead to give them flowers.—Atchison Globe. • When you can get a hearse at a bnr i gaiu, drive the bargain.—Chicago New*. PEOPLE OF THE DAY Senator PetllKrew'B I.nck. It is reported that ex-Senator Rich ard F. Petti grow had a great piece of luck In the New York stock market, lie Is said to have made at least $300,- HOO during the recent boom in which Northern Pacific cut such high jiuks. James J. Ilill and Mr. Pettigrcw are old friends, and this friendship is cred ited with being responsible for the lat tor's good luck. Tlie story goes that Mr. Hill loaned ills friend Pettigrcw money with which to buy stocks und RICHARD F. rETTIGREW. also gave him the benefit of experience and inside knowledge. It turned out when Hill and Morgan began to bunt tip Northern Pacific shares that Petti grcw had 2,000 shares which lie had purchased at par. Mr. Pettigrcw Is just now deeply interested in Wyoming oil fields, and it is said he is in a fair way to join the millionaires' ranks in a short time. Slionld Have I *el State Coach. According to gossip straight from The Hague, the husband of Queen WII - has made himself unpopular by not driving out in state tlie first time he appeared in The Hague after the honeymoon. The people feJt lie wasn't living up to royal traditions, and they didn't like it. It seems that when the royal couple settled in The Hague the duke went out to drive. Rut hi stead of using the state coach lie appeared tooling an English drag, handling tlie ribbons himself. It was such a shock to the stolid Hollanders that they stood ami stared at the sight, and then they made up their minds they didn't like it. It might be all right for him to do that in Germany, where lie was only a duke, hut a queen's husband ought to live up to his position. And, as the story is told by a Dutch nobleman visiting in New York, not a Dutch head was bared as the duke drove by, nor have the peo ple yet recovered from their disapprov al. It will take ninny rides of penance in the state coach to make them do that A Street Inspector. Through the recommendation of her son, Ilonorc Palmer, recently elected an alderman in Chicago. Mrs. Potter Palmer has been tendered a position as one of tlie city's "volunteer street in spectors." The authorities of the city have recently been investigating the condition of streets and alleys and have eoiue to tlie conclusion tlint great im provement can lie brought about if tlie citizens will aid. This aid is to take tlie shape of volunteer inspectors who are to report to tlie department of streets MRS. POTTER PALMER. and alleys violations of tlie new and stringent ordinances designed to create conditions that Chlcagoans have al ready given the attractive title of "The City Beautiful." Mrs. Palmer's pre cinct, the one in which she lives, is in the Twenty-first ward. Mr. Metcalfe anil tlie Chancellor. The New York university has been directed by Justice Maddox of Brook lyn to show cause why a writ of man damus should uot issue commanding its otiicers to permit Tristram W. Met calfe to be finally examined and, if qualified, to permit him to graduate and receive tlie degree of bachelor of arts. Mr. Metcalfe says he was suspended for one year by Dr. 11. M. MeCrncken, chancellor of the university, and barred from taking any examination because as editor of The Triangle he published a paragraph that gave offense to the chancellor. Dr. McCracken demanded a retraction, which was published, to gether with the original paragraph and appended comments. Tlie Initial J. Has It occurred to you that the Ini tial letter J played a not inconspicuous part in the recent game of pitch and toss in Wall street? In former times of storm and stress we had J. Gould and J. Fisk. Now we have J. Pier pout Morgan, J. R. Kcene, J. J. Ilill, J. Stillman, J. Sob iff. J. 11. Moore, J. W. Gates, J. Loeb and George J. Gould. Put a J in jour name if you would be a power in the street WITHOUT TURNING A HAIR. A Londoner Calmly Returned Money Given*to Him by Mistake. A gentleman of my acquaintance hail a curious experience of manners and customs of modern England a few nights ago at the theater. lie liiul taken four stalls, but at the last mo ment found two of his party unable to come. On Ills arrival at the theater lie left the two spare tickets at the box of fice, the clerk promising to sell them If be could aud send the cash to him when they wore sold. He took his place anil soon afterward was gratified to see his two surplus scats occupied. The Individuals who took them were attired In evening dress and bore the outward semblance of gentlemen. My friend began to look out for the money which was to come from the box office. Presently a concesslonnalre entered, passed down the row of seats and ad dressed one of t lie two newcomers. My friend noticed that the commissionnaLro passed something to one of the gentle men. who put It into his pocket with out a word. A sense of uneasiness stole over my friend with regard to the 15 shillings that was due to him, and as the even ing was getting on lie thought he would go and make an inquiry at the box office. Ills suspicions were veri fied. The clerk had sent In the money by a eoinnilsslonnalre. The commission ii,lire was called from the door and on seeing my friend at once realized that be had given the money to flic wrong man. lie promptly went back to the theater, my friend following to see the fun. The couunlsslominlrewent straight to tlu> party to whom lie hud handed tlie money and said. "'Ere. you've got 15 shillings that don't belong to you." The other replied in an unconcerned way, "Oh, yes!" took the money out of his pocket and returned It to the com nilsslonnalre. "He showed no trace of embarrassment," says my friend. "He banded back the money, as he had pocketed it. without turning a hair." I always like to think the best of peo ple, and possibly this Individual, being a stranger to music halls, was under the Impression that It Is the practice of the proprietors of such establishments to send a commissionuatre around from time to time to distribute cash bonuses among the audience.—London Truth. PECULIAR NAMES. Tlie Queer XVny Ten Million Children Were llenlgiiated. "In a long experience In the treasury department I have come ncross a very large number of names, many of which are rather peculiar," explained an old official, "but I think the list of names In connection with the subscription to the 3 per cent bonds surpasses any thing In Ihe way of peculiarity that 1 have ever observed. Of these the one that struck me most was a man who signed himself Ten Million and who re sides out in Oregon. We thought the name was an imaginative one and wrote the man that It was desired that the bonds should be registered In real names only aud that no further atten tion would lie paid to Ills subscription until he was beard from. lie replied that Ids name was Ten Million. Ills letter was written on the printed letter head of tlie firm of Million & Million, two brothers. "Then followed an explanation that Ills father and mother were unable to select natnes for their children that were mutually satisfactory and that as a result, though tlicy had had ten chil dren. none or them was ever christened formally. The first child was a girl, and she was known only as One Mil lion. The second child, also a girl, was known as Two Million. Tims they ran along until Ten Million was reached, and he was the writer of the letter, the oilier member of the firm being n brother whose only name, as far as the family was concerned, was Seven Mil lion. the seventh child. He added that One Million had afterward called her self Una Million, that the third girl was known nfter she had grown up as Trio Million. Tlie others had taken on addi tions to their names, and he had adopt ed the name of Tenia Million, hut his real name was Ten Million and nothing else. The bonds were Issued to hint and on the books of the department were registered In the name of Ten Million."—Washington Star. When Mnleliea Were Intrndnecd. The Atlas, a Loudon newspaper, pub lished on Jan. 10, 1830, the following paragraph under the head of "Instan taneous Light: "Amoug the different methods Invented for obtaining light instantaneously ought certainly to he recorded that of Mr. Walker, chemist, Stockton-on-Tees. lie supplies the pur chaser with prepared mutches, which are put Into boxes, but are not liable to change in the atmosphere, and also with a piece of fine glass paper folded in two. Even n strong blow will not inflame the matches, because of the softness of the wood underneath, nor does rubbing upon wood or any com mon substance produce any effect ex cept that of spoiling tlie match. But when one is pinched between the folds of the glass paper and suddenly drawn out it is instantly inflamed. Mr. Walk er does not make them for extensive sale, but only to supply the small de maud In his own neighborhood."—New castle (England) Chronicle. Her Version of It. A young girl In a class preparing for admission Into tlie church was asked by the pastor how she ought to obey the fifth commandment, to honor her father aud mother. She answered promptly. "1 ought to take them out for walks on Sundays, and I ought not to let them see how much more I know than they do." She expressed an opin ion probably quite current among young people concerning the prepon derance of knowledge in the rising gen eration.— Congregatlonalißt. TIRED OE THE TRIP. SO HE GOT OUT OF THE BALLOON BY THE JUMP ROUTE. And Then When lie Told the Ellß llaliineii He Met Whnt He llnd Hone They Conalderutely Carried 111 m OB to an Innnne Aaylnm. "I went up in a balloon once, and I never want to make such a trip again," said Colonel A. Noel Blnkeman. "My experience as an aeronaut was in Lon don," lie continued, "and it would never have occurred but for a friend I chanced to meet there. He was going to make an nscent, and he persuaded me to accompany him. "The balloon was a feature of some big exhibition, and every day it was inflated and made an ascent, with four or five passengers, in charge of an ex perienced aeronaut. There were about fire in the party the day 1 took the trip. We got Into the basket, which was boxed in quite high, then let the rope go, and we shot up about 3,000 feet. It was interesting to look down on the world and hear the noises of London streets coming from so far below. The balloon sailed along smoothly, and we drifted for about eight miles. "It was when we tried to descend that the trouble began, The method was to throw out anchors as the bal loon settled toward the earth. The aeronaut said that when one of these anchors caught firmly he would haul the balloon down to the tree in which the anchor was expected to become fastened. This would be done by wind ing in the rope on a winch in tlie car. Ve would be expected to climb out of the balloon into the tree, he said, and he would then take hold of the valve rope and, standing a safe distance away, open the valve, let the gas es cape, and the big afTair would collapse and sink. lie informed us that we must get clear of the sinking folds, as they would come down fast, and if they caught and covered us we would be in an atmosphere of most poisonous gas. "All this was very interesting, but we did not seem to be making very much progress toward the point where we would have to look out for the de scending folds of tho collapsing bal loon. The anchors caught in a whole lot o< trees, but they did not hold. One would get tangled in a tree, and then the balloon would sway far over, tilt ing the basket in which we were until it seemed that we would be spilled out. Then the anchor would break loose, and we would shoot up again. "I became very tired of tills and told the aeronaut that 1 thought it was time to bring the voyage to a conclusion. He told tue if I did not like it I could Jump out. At first I thought lie was simply resentful of my remark, but he said lie meant what lie said. "'When the car tilts over again, you climb out 011 the edge,' lie said, 'and let go. It will probably be a plowed field undertienth us, and you won't get hurt.' "Well, 1 did as he suggested. When the anchor caught again, 1 climbed out and hung to the edge of the car. When I saw that the car was as low as It was likely to get. 1 let go. I dropped about 12 feet, and, as he expected, a plowed field was below us. "As soon as I dropped out the bal loon. relieved of my weight, shot up in the air again and soared off. I walked to the nearest road ami continued along it until 1 came to an inn. "1 asked the laudlord how far It was to (.nation, and lie told me It was eight miles. I ordered n carriage to take mo there, and while I was waiting the landlord asked me where I had eonio f"oni. *'l took hint to the door of the Inn, and. pointing to the balloon, which was then sailing along about a quarter of a mile above the ground, 1 said, '1 jump ed out of that." "The man looked at me in alarmed fashion, and after I had returned to the silting room I noticed that several peo ple peered through the window at me. "Finally my four wheeler was ready, anil I set off for I.nndon. After we bad driven along for half an hour or so the coachman suddenly turned the horse in through a gate, and we drove into a big courtyard. I yelled to him and asked him what he meant, that 1 wanted to go straight to London, but he paid no attention and slowly circled the court. When he stopped on the other side, a man wearing glasses stuck his head In the carriage, scrutinizing me closely, pulled back, said something to the coachman, and we drove on to London. "Finally we reached my lodgings, and when we did so the coachman jumped off the hox, ran up the steps < and as soon ns Ids knock was answered asked if Mr. Illakeman lived there. The ntald was just answering that I did when I reached the top of the steps and collared the fellow. " 'What was that place you drove me Into on our way to IgjndonV' 1 asked him. " 'lt was a hlnsane hasylum. sir,' he replied. 'When you said you had Jump ed out o' that balloon, we thought you was crazy and maybe you was a es caped patient from the hasylum.' Washington Post. Realised Ills Own Madness. "Now you are tired of me and abuse nie," sobbed the young wife whose hus band refused to hire another ntnld to take care of her pet dog. "Yet," she continued, "not two years ago you tvere just crazy lo marry me." "Yes," answered the complacent man brute; "my friends told me so at the time, but I didn't realize It imUl after we were married."—Kansas City Star. It Is said that some early Chinese coins were made In the form of keys, probably because money unlocks the heart of the high official. Atlanta News.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers