A Kansas City woman who speaks feelingly on the subject says that the g heaviest work any woman ever under- j, took was light housekeeping. L '! S The Town Council of Mankato, Kan. t Q may not he unmusical, hut it draws the liuo at&omotunes. In 1894 it iw- s jposed'a line of fifty cents on every per- K son heard whistling or singing "After the Ball," and now an ordinance has j 11 been introduced to silence "A Hot V Time in the Old Town To-night." _ T The remarkable way in which civ- v\ ilization is increasingly coming to in terfere with paganism is illustrated by the fact that the car of Juggernut j ' ,k cannot pass through the streets of ! Colombo owing to the interference of | * the overhead telegraph wires. But' v that paganism is not yet dead is evi- j Vi dent to the New York Observer's sat- j isfaetion, by the circumstances that > petitions have been sent to the Gov- • ernor by the Ceyloncse, requesting j ' that the celebration might proceed, as t twenty-live persons desired to throw c themselves under the idol's car. There appears to the New York Com mercial Advertiser "to be no reason for the assertion that the Cuban insur- y gents have violated the rules of war ic ; the reported execution of Colonel Ruiz. | \] That officer of the enemy was giver I > every opportunity to avoid a fate upoß i which ho rushed with blind foolhardi. | ness. His correspondence with hit j Cuban friend, Colonel Arauguren, whose reported execution is now de nied, carried to him exact - knowledge of the general order condemning t. death all emissaries bearing tk pro j posal to accept autonomy. "When Rtii? v persisted, his friend sent back to liim ' the order of General Rodriguez, 'lf hi " offers autonomy, do your duty,' accoin- v panied by the warning that if the pro i : posed interview wa9 confined to i n friendly chat, or to the independent ' of Cuba, all would be well; but 'if not J for God's sake do not corno/ StiL j Jtaiz persisted, and when he met hi* r friend and pronounced the fatal woro 1 "autonomy/ he condemned himself tc j death. There was no way to evade his j execution, else tho discipline of the j entire Cuban anuy would have been fc destroyed." * l® However Mr. John Fox, Jr., may i seem to maintain that Kentucky—bar ring some counties in the mountains v —is very much like other civilized j districts, with differences in favor of t Kentucky, things do happen down there that surprise persons who are i not centaurs or lineal descendants of * Daniel Boone, writes E. S. Martin, iu Harper's Weekly. The ardor with A which eminent Kentuckians enter intc t disputes i$ always somewhat astonish- * ing to effete Americans in other States, j Where else could have developed such 1 a difference as lately obtained as tc t which of two Kentucky ladies should f christen the battleship Kentucky? If 1 was settled finally, but not until the 1 din of it had penetrated the extreme ( confines of the Union. How painful i it all was; Miss Richardson claiming, 1 under a patent from Secretary Her- bert; that gentleman's embarrassed j disclaimer; and Major Baruk Thomas's ] lamentation over the loss of a quart ol j Dan Swiggert 1855 whisky, consc- 1 crated by him to patriotic uses, and 1 believed to have been absorbed by the Cleveland administration! Eheu; i Alas! Why has Kentucky no Hans Brcitmaun to put its epics into versei Within the last few years the put ting up of canned goods lias become one of the most important industries of the United States. Scattered throughout this country at tho pres. ent time there are not less than 200C canneries, representing the cnornvma capital of $75,000,000. Tho industry , is divided into four main branches. First comes the canning of food prep arations, such as meats, cereals, eoups and the like, iu which branch some 5000 persons are employed and j capital amounting to $7,000,000 is represented. Next comes the canning of fruits and vegetables. In this im portant branch of the industry not lens than 60,000 persons are employed, while tho capital represented amounts to $30,000,000. This branch of the industry is carried on mainly in Mary land and New York. Btill another branch is concerned with the canning of preserves and pickles. In this branch of the industry several thou sand persons are employed. As to the capital represented, it closely approx imates $25,000,000. Last comes the canning of oysters, salmon and other kinds of fish, which employs some 15, j 000 persons, aud represents a capital of $13,000,000. Tho hardships occa- ' sioned by the late war between the ' States greatly stimulated the canning industry iu this country, but without the least interruption since that time the industry has steadily grown into its present extraordinary proportions. SEED SOWING Bow tho seed of soothim? kindnoss, To dispel tho irloom and pain: Sow briulit words of warmth and welcome, That o'or earth good will may reiga; Sow upon a soil proline. That shall bear an hundredfold, Choking out tho thorns and briers^ Turning weeds to stalks of gold. Scorn thou not. to sow. moreover, On tho Holds less rich in loam; Should it bear not many measures It will have i-n harvest borne. If tho power will but barken. He will ' ear what God will kocp- Whether good or whether evil— What ve sow that ye shall reap. Though the soil be peant and sandy. And the rocks bo thick and keen. With the hand of faith sow broadly— Some str ty soil may lie unseen; Tills may nourish sped sufficient To bring hnrvest time around; And tho hand or thrift may garner From the uninviting ground. What though wayside fowls fly over, You enn cover well tho seed; What thr >ug!i tares by sutauscattered Should arise Iu evil greed. Walt, if must be. till the harvest Hi pens grain and tares in turn; Then the grain thou mayest gather, And the tares mav'st bind and burn. Eow the seeds of !ove and mercy, Worthy work for angel hands! Sympathy end truth and justice— Fitting thoino for heavenly bunds! Eow good will among thy neighbors^ Heap reward for thee iu store; O.i the sower that is faithful Blessings be forever more. —Virgil A. Pinkley, in Brooklyn Eagle. ;■ - TKE SIXTH COMMANDMENT U J}'Y\ /. S nothing to you ty tll ' my whole immune* lies at Y'dlYiVyj '. your mercy? Am V J only one more t .. 'rjif ■ " r the many you ,/, . •• have llirtoil with, / V •••'- ""'I tji• ■: i smiled aYJnn X* nside ns if they were children? Ah! God never createil any creature more cruel than a beautiful coquette without heart! Do not deny it! You have used every charm you possess to make me love yon, and have succeeded. You shall listen to me now. I love yon! I love yon! I love you! Kay, do not speak. I will not take your html answer to-day. To morrow I will come for it. All! if it is Tes,' I swear that you sliull never regret it. If it is 'No,' then you will have sent one more man'to 'hell!'" aud without another word Jack Armstrong turned on his heel mid left abruptly. Hilda l'hare look edjaf tor his retreating figure with, a vogue sense of shame, tvhe had wo.; the love of the "woman hater," hut the victory was leaving a sting in even her hardened coquette i conscience, though she tried to feel I herself aggrieved at his outburst. "As if I can help men falling in love ' with in". 1 cannot marry them all. I ' certainly do like Captain Armstrong, but I don't like matrimony, I want to keep my lrecdom a little longer first. A pretty girl can at any time easily get engaged, but it requires an ugly girl to easily get disengaged, so that even beauty has its drawbacks," she con cluded, with a little soft laugh. Then, with the wucoufessed desire to drive the recent interview from her mind, she took up a society paper and soon forgot all tho crumpled rose leaves of her happy, careless life in tho pleas ure of reading a description of the dress tho "beautiful Miss Pliare wore at tlie Queen's ball, where, as'tlie belle of the season, she was the cynosure of all eyes." "-My dear Hilda, have you heard the dreadful news?" The girl look up from the comfortable wicker chair where she was reclining lnxily under , tho shade of the old oak on the lawn, j "No, what news?" she asked, indif ferently, for her portly aunt's face j looked more important than horrified, | as she stood by her niece's side, hold ing a largo white and green lined sun shade over her bare bead. "Mrs. Chester shot hor husband and that pretty Miss Dene yesterday afternoon, and then killed herself." "Uh, how dreadful! What made her do it?" exclaimed Hilda, thor- ! oughly roused now, us she sat bolt ! upright in her chair. "Well, it appears that she caught I him kissing this Miss Dene, to whom j he had been engaged before he mar ried his wife for her money. Fancy shooting both of them like that!" "What a wicked, cruel woman, Mrs. Chester must have been. It was only yesterday morning I rode over to Mill Hall to see her new Paris uress. It is ' quite horrible to think that I have touched the hand of a murderess/' and the girl gave a shudder. £s,"Yes, it i . indeed! lam f:o very Barry for their poor little daught. r, but, of course, f can never allow Jessie and Pnssie to play with her again. I must go now, for I want to write and tell your Aunt Mary all about it. She will he so interested—shocked, I mean," and she returned to the house with that feeling of pleasurable impor tance wo all experience when wo are tho first to tell the news of some calamity that has befallen our ii iendr. Left to herself Hilda sank back in the wicker chair and tried by reading to distract her thoughts ones more, but ibis time from thinking of the tragedy at Ilill Hall. Tho heat, how ever, made her drowsy, and the paper soon dropped on the grass from tho nerveless lingers, aud tho lids Boon i drooped over the beautiful eyes. Suddenly a choking sensation caught the sleeper's throat. She tried jto move, but could not. Was she dy ing—dying out there alone on the j awn? She felt her breath coming j quicker and quicker, her strength I ebbing faster and faster. Then she seemed to lose all consciousness. "Where was she now? Who were those?" she asked one standing beside ber. "They are the souls of We dead waiting till tho day dawns aiip the L gohlen gates are opened." "Then I must be dead, and those I must be the gates of heaven, that beautiful place I used to like reading about when a child. I will joia the throng and go in with them." And when the day dawned she also pressed forward towards those golden gates, guarded by angels, but though many passed through, more were turned away. At last only-Hilda and another were left. That other was a broken hearted woman, and tho girl j shrunk back with loathing when she j saw it was Mrs. Chester! As sho re- j coiled an angel beckoned to the weep ing woman, and she beheld her no I more. But now the gates were clos- | ing. Hilda sprang forward and 1 stretched out her hands to those I white robed guardians. "You have forgotten me." "There is no forgetting here," came j the answer. "Then why do you not let me 1 through?" "Tour sius expel you." "My sins! My sins! What sins have I committed? What command- , ment have I broken?" questioned tho i girl, with the surprise of self-con- i vinced innocence. "The sixth commandment. 'Thou ! slmlt do no murder/ Hilda shrank back in horror, amaze- ' meut, anger. "I commit murder! I, who could never bear to see even a bird shot." j "l'es, you arc a murderess," an swered the ungel, sternly. "You who recoiled from that woman are much more guilty. She, in great temptation, in great provocation killed but mortal bodies; you, in mere vani ' tv, in mere idleness, have killed im mortal souls! Thiukest thou there is no margin to a commandment. Know you not that though the text bo brief, yet does it overflow beyond tho limits of words on the broad margin of mean- j ing labeling unwritten sins, and you 1 have broken a marginal command- j ment, 'Thou sliait do no murder/" "But I have committed no murder," ; reiterated the trembling girl. "Behold and see," aud the angel I passed his hand over the eyes of tho ; belle of the London season. "Yes, she knows that young face > again. He had been one of her hoy- j isli suitors, whom she had flirted with I and then laughed at. He is holding a dicebox now in his shaking baud, and j on that dicebox is written one word— i 'Hilda.' Ah! who is that drunken man glaring at her with bloodshot eyes? He lifls a glass of spirits, and j oa that glass is engraved one word—! 'Hilda.'" * ' Ah! poor wife of a loveless marriage, j ! made by the husband in a moment of 1 pique. Her tears as they fall form | j one word—"Hilda." I Yet another face she sees—tho faco ;of a last year's flirtation. It is pale ! with tho anguish of death, and on the | pistol by his side is stamped one word i —"Hilda." Then the girl falls at the-feet of tho j angel with au exceeding bitter cry. j "I am indeed a murderess." Iler own hitter cry awakens Hilda, and she starts up trembling in every i limb, to find that the lace scarf around her throat had caught in tho wicker chair, which perhaps accounted for j the choking sensation of her dream. ! The noxt day tho bell of tlie season said "Yes" to Jack Armstrong, and sealed with two loving iips tho death i warrant of tho heartless coquette. Oil tin? Mix. 1.-islppl illvcr. The first vessels that ever entered the Mbr/ssippi from tho sea were the Pi . frigate Renommoe and Gir i onde, January 6th, 1700. These ves- I s; Is proceeded as far as tho Tenesas, : whicti they reached. April 12. Tho I first vessel built on the banks of the Mississippi by white men was launched in 1341, shortly after tho death and burial of Do Soto. The boatmen and early navigators of tho present century were long iu danger from Indians and pirates. A notorious resort for these was Crows' Nest or Stock Island, uud ! many flat boats and crews were sacrificed i there until these pests were exter- i ! minated by mob law, in 1809. Foi ! the five years following 1822, however, • the destruction by snags on tho Ohio ' aud Mississippi amounted to $1,362,- 500, though the next five years showed j hut $381,000 loss from the same cause. ; In 1812 there were 450 steamboats on the Mississippi and its tributaries, I 1 with an average burden of 200 tons - and an aggregate value of $7,200,000. i In op Tilting these boats about 35,* i 750 pe/smis v.-ere employed. The average value of t!io products carried . each si;iiowas something like S2OO,- j 000, (,:• an nggiv; ate of $90,000,000 Up I to 1842. i Previous to tho adoption of steam ; I navigation the whole .commerce from 1 . New Orleans to the upper country was carried in about twenty barges, . j averaging 100 tons each and making hut one trip a year. There were not . over 150 keel be.A on the upper Ohio, . carrying about thirty tons each aud , making the trip from Pittsburg to , 1 Louisville and hack iu two months, or . aliout three voyages a season. From j 183 J. io 1850 573 boats were lost, . ! valued at over $7,000,000. In 233 . cases the killed and wounded uggr> [' j -'.iteu 4(530. The average ago of all the boats lost was live years. From , 1816 to 1871 there were A3 explosions, i involving a lm i of life in each varying , from Ito 1649.—Pittsburg Dispatch. I New York'-; First Water Supply. [• | la 1798 tlie lu'st drinking ■water wp.s x, procured at the Tea Water well. This i ! well received its name from the fact e I that it was the best to use in making tea. It was twenty feet deep aud four feet in diameter, 'i'he average daily e supply was 14,300' gallons. In hot e weather as many as 98,080 gallons a day were sometimes used.—New York il Herald. -COWARDICE OF SHARKS. BIG MANEATERS AS SEEN BY AN OFFICER OF THE NAVY. They Won't Attack Two 31 en Togol'ier— A Splashing Scares Them—Friendlilp of Shark* and l'ilot Fish—l linliiict of Sharks in Cages of Death on Ship**. •'I have had somo experience with maucators," said a naval officer to a New York Sun representative, "and I believe with the Kanakas of Hawaii that sharks are cowards. In the space of twenty-five years of seagoing, a good deal of it in shark-infested waters, I have never seen or heard of a case where a maneater, or a whole school of them, for that matter, brushed up enough nerve to tackle two swimming, diving or castaway men or boys when both stuck to gether. The most ferocious of sharks will attack a man only when ho is alone in the water, and, even then, if the man has sufficient presence of mind to keep up a powerful splashiug on the surface of the water, he has a good chance to scare the shark off. "Sharks don't like to tacklo any thing that churns up the water. They've got to turn upside down to get at their prey, and this position does not enable them to see very well even when their prey is pursuing au even or clear courso through the water, or is quite stationary, in fact; but when the object tlicy decide to tackle begins to lash tho water into foam and Riids, nine times out of ten they will turn fin and drill out of the way. Natives of the Pacific islands are aware of this characteristic, which accounts for the fact that you lievct see a Pacific island native swimming in the sea by himself. He always goes in with one or more companions for the sake of the lashing they can all give tho water together in case sharks begin to nose , around, and also because they under stand the fear tho shark has of attack ing two or more human beings who re maiu close together in the sea. Once in a Avhile one of the swimming island ilers carelessly permits himself to be come separated from bis companions, and this is the opportunity of the shark. Under such circumstances the man eater is foxy enough to get between tho detached man and his companions and to keep below tho surface of the sea so that his tall-tale fin shall not show above the water and reveal his presence to the doomed native. Then lie slips uuder his human prey, per forms his little turning-over trick, makes an upward swoop every bit as swift as the lightning-like descent of an eagle and grabs the native by the leg, and when tho grabbed man's com panions notice that ho is missing and swim out in the direction where they last saw him—keeping close together and pounding the water pretty hard— they find nothing but little eddies of blood on tlie surface of the water. Tho native is torn to pieces in a twinkling by many sharks who, I verily believe, wait below for tho pulling off of these baggings. "Man-of-war's men who have cruised in tho Southern seas have caught the trick of the islanders in avoiding swim ming singly in shark-infested waters, and in kicking up a great to-do in tho water in case they become accidentally separated from their shipmates when in swimming. Swimming call is sounded on United States men-of-war about an hour before sundown on ships cruising in tropical latitudes— when the ships arc at anchor in port, of course—and the men who want to cool off jump offthe decks by the score. I have seen old-timers who know sharks and their cowardly ways hop by the dozen right into big schools of lierce lookiug maneaters. They'd all jump into tho water at tho same time, and iu less time than it takes for mo to tell it tho sea a hundred yards away would be dotted with sharks' lins. They'd screw their way out of the neighbor hood of the swimming men just as quick as tliey knew how, and they wouldn't come back, either, until tho galley cooks throw their garbage over board and thus attracted them back again. "Sharks become mightily attached to the little pilot fish that guide them around the waters of the sea in search of eatables. In spite of apparent energy and activity, sailors who have made a study of the characteristics of sharks declare that these cowardly sea-devils are too lazy to hunt for food themselves and that they would starve to death if they were not led around by their attending pilot fish. Every full-grown shark has a pilot fish for a guide, and these little chaps are cer tainly faithful attendants and foragers. The pilot fish sails along about ten feet iu advance of the shark and is about the uoisest little deep-water fish ! i conceivable. Sailors call tho pilot fish rubber-neckera, on account of the general air of curiosity that marks their every movement through the water in advance of their big pro tectors. In return for the service ' performed for him by tho pilot fish, the shark protects his little guide and forager from the onslaughts of other i natural enemies. j "For t wenty year:-, or so I ridiculed ! the sailors' idea that sharks follow a j ship on which a deaih is impending. ! We had a boy die of Asiatic cholera i aboard our ship while wo were in | Honolulu harbor two years ago last I August. Jle died in less than ten ( hours after he was stricken. At dawn of the morning he died the sea for a j hundred yards around tho ship was | literally covered with sharks, and wo killed many of them from the poop with lilies, hitting some of them half a dozen times. There had been only occasional sharks around the ship bo fore tlmt. The incident convinced tho men that, if sharks didn't know when c death impended on a ship, they haol a'way of finding out about it *fter the death occurred." START OF ONE MILLIONAIRE. Earned Ilis First Ten Dollars Throwing a Circus Hercules. "Jlad X caught my train that night," laughed tlie man who liad nothing to do for a quarter of a century but sit and watch pine trees grow to swell his bank account, "I would probably be a farmer now, trying to raise a mortgage and a few other things. I had gone to a little town in lower Wisconsin to see a colt there that a man wanted to sell me. I was a good judge of stock and shrewd on a trade, butn greener country lad never broke into a town. I would have walked back to the farm after I found myself too late for the train, but I saw a handbill announc ing a show that night, and couldn't re sist the temptation to see it, though it ' did cost a quarter. "In my liilaric is appreciation I was 1 more of an entertainment than they | had 011 the stage, especially as I war. utterly oblivious to the fact that I did not look like any one else in the audi- I ence. Toward the end a huge fellow I came out, tossed cannon Lulls and lift- ! ed heavy weights. After this showing I of his prowess he offered $lO to any , one whom ho could not throw inside j of two minutes. I was 'the crack wrestler in all our section, though none knew it, and I felt as though the ' challenge was aimed directly at inc. I j turned hot and cold during a few see- I onds of iutense silence. Then I ! sprang up, and as I came out of my old blouse, shouted: 'l'll go you, b'gosh.' There was a roar of laugh ter, and then some of those about me urged me not to go up there and have ray neck broken. But one old man told me to go in. It was a tough job, but I finally threw the giant almost through the floor with a hiplock. There was a little hesitancy about giv ing me the $lO, but the crowd shout ed till I got it. Then the old man took mo home with him,and in a week I hail charge of ail the teams in his lumber camps. In time I became a partner, and he cleared the way to make me rich. That was really at match for a million."—Detroit Freo Press. licftlegod by Sharks. Will Morrisey and Henry .Tones re turned to Harper Springs, Fla., re cently from a trip down the bay, hav ing been imprisoned on a sand key for nearly three days by sharks. They left here nearly a week ago on a hunt ing and fishing trip. The second day they succeeded in harpooning a big , shark and after half an hour's work got liiin close to the boat. One of the boys hit him with an ax and his blood dyed the water, calling up a score of sharks from all directions. The men saw they were in trouble and they immediately set sail and tried t) get away. The sharks' followed thom and began attacking tho boat. One of them leaped out of the watei and fell across it, crushing it. By this time the boat was within a few rods of Mud Island, a small sandbed of about an acre in extent. The men finally got on the key, narrowly escap ing the ferocious sharks. Their boat drifted near the land and thGy were ouabled to secure their provisions from the water. During tho night mosquitoes mado life miserable for them. An inspection early in the mprniug showed that they were besieged, as they wero surround ed by scores of sharks. They swam around on all sides. Tho men set up an oar with a shirt tied to it as a dis tress signal, but it was not until the second (lay that the crow of a fishing schooner saw them and came to their rescue. As the schooner camo to tho land the sharks made an attack on the boat, but tho sailors had several Win chesters and they plied a merry war for a few moments, shooting eight of tho big sharks, tho others being fright ened away. Couldn't Do Fooled Twice. There is a fox terrier of remarkable intelligence installed as ruling factor in a very happy and harmonious household uptown, says tho New Or leans Times-Democrat. One of tho favorite amusements of tho terrier is playing with a soft rubber ball. Tho other day a member of tho family filled the soft ball with wator. The terrier pounced upon tho ball, chewed down on it, squirted the water down his throat and dropped the ball. After repeatod efforts he emptied the ball of water and enjoyed his play. The next day lie again found the ball full of water, and for a while seemed very disconsolate as ho gazed sadly at the toy. Ho left it for a few minutes, and then, rushing at the ball, deliberately stepped upon it with one of his front i'eet and stood upon it until the water was all squeezed out. Squelclilng a Hare With Wit. A bright answer is put down to the credit of Dr. Fitchett, brother of the editor of the Australian Review of Re views. lie was a member of a Colonial Parliament, wherein one day a certain eccentric and elderly member named Taylor insisted on making a speech on education. The oration consisted of a I hyperbolical eulogy of tho Board of Schools in Mr. Taylor's constituency. Dr. Fitchett interjected somo jocose expression of doubt. "Why, sir," said tho irate Taylor, turning upon him, "at this very moment I have a school in my eye—" "No; only one pupil, Mr. Taylor," retorted the doctor, and the orator's eloquence was drowned in laughter.— London News. Eueh <Jet a Shoo. A. D. Campbell and Comer Davies, Northern Kansas editors, are each minus a leg, Campbell tho right and Davies the left. When one buys a pair of shoes lie sends the odd shoe to the other, both wearing the same size. Saturday each presented the other with a new shoo as a Christmas pres ent.—Topeka telegram to the Chicago Chronicle. THE MERRY SIDE OF LIFE. STORIES THAT ARE TOLD BY THE FUNNY MEN OF THE PRESS. When a Girl's Grown Up—A Solution of the l'roblem—Not a Hopeless Cast-—. His Line—Putting on Ifer Wraps— A Fine Itccoinuieiuiution, Etc., Etc. She has ceased to beliove thore's a roan in the moon, But she can't get out of her head The old idea that there is one In hiding under the bed. —Chicago News. A Solution of the Problem. "No, YVillie, dear," said mamma, "no more cake to-night. Don't yru know you cannot sleep well on a Tu'l stomach?" "Well," replied Wellie, "I can sleep on my back." Putting on Her Wraps. She (smiling)—" Your face is too near to mine." He—"lt's two inches away, and that's as bad as a thousand miles." Sho (poutingly)—"lt wouldn't he for some men."—Harlem Life. Not n Hopeless Case. He —"I shall never marry until I meet a woman who is my exact op posite, mentally." She—"Why don't you ask Miss Floyd? She is considered oue of the most intellectual girls in town."— Truth. Ills T,ine. Miss Wabash—"Your friend who has just left us is something of a pessimist, I imagine." Miss Halsted—"lndeed, he isn't. He's an opticiun, and ho has the cream of the West Side trade."—Chi cago News. Ilt r Assumed Name.' Zira (in deep whisper)—" There gori a woman who is living under an as sumed name." Zam (disgustedly)—" Bats! Why, that's Mrs. Brown!" Zim— "I know it." Her name was Jones before she was married." Marvellous Growth. "Is your town booming out there in the mining district, Slicks?" "I should say "so. It's more won derful than magic. I pitched my tent in a hole in the ground one even ing aud when I waked up I was in the cellar of a union depot."—Detroit Free Press. There Were Other*. Mamie (singing)—"My 'mother was a lady—" ! Aggie (interrupting)—"Aw, shut [ up! so wuz mo fadder." I Mamie—"Wotcher givin' me?" | Aggie—"Daw's dead right—lie wuz ! de bearded lady in a dime museo for I t'roe years."—Puck. A Fine Itecomtnendatlon. I Her Father—"How do you know j you love my daughter? You've only been acquainted a few weeks." Tho Suitor—"That is true; but I I seo that you've just negotiated a loan of $1,000,000. A man who can do , that is the kind of person I want for a father-in-law."—Chicago News. To Please l.itllc Tommy, Old Lady—"You said the train | that X should take leaves at 10.30, ; didn't you?" | Booking-Clerk—"Yes, madam; and t think I've told jou that about teu I times already." I Old Lady—"Yes, "I know you have; but mv little nephew says he likes to hear you talk." —Tit-Bits. Papa Gives Way. Mamma (to Tiny Tot, who wants to deprive her younger brother of a delicacy they have both sot their j hearts on) —"No, darling, you must i let baby have it now, and when be | grows up, aud you are a youug lady, j he will havo to give way to you." | Tiny Tot—"ls that why papa al ways lias to do as you want, mummy?" —Puuch. Tho Newest "Safe." Mr. Harl M. Flatte—"And this is my music room!" Visitor (in amazemout) —"Music room! Why—er—isn't it—er—rather peculiar?" Mr. Harl M. Flatto—"Yes; slightly. You see, when I close the door it is hermetically sealed. When th ama teur musicians iu tho neighboring fiats oommeuce hammering on their pianos and blowing on their cornets I retire here, shut the door and am safe." —Puck. A Purist. Boston Conductor—"Fare, please." Passenger—"What is the fare?" Conductor—"lt is the tariff or tax levied by tho corporation owning and controlling tho charter and franchise of this streetcar lino on those persons who avail themselves of the oppor tunity afforded them by tho company to secu.'ve moro rapid and agreeablo transportation than pedal locomotion." rassongor—"How much is the fare?" Conductor—"Five cents, please."— Detroit Free Press. Conversation. "Ho will ( come to-night," mused Beryl. With a sigh, sho drew back the cur taius aud gazed out into the darkling dusk; for lier father's house was built with a view to convenience, and sho could do that." "Wbat shall I say to him?" The horse show was 110 more; the six-day bicycle race was a thing of the past. She did not understand football. There was nothing left but the weather and currency reform.—De troit Journal. Candles and Electricity. Tho estimated total candle power ol all the eleotrio lamps used in New York City is placed at 60,000,000. SCIENTIFIC AND INDUSTRIAL. 'The Polar currents contain less sail than those from the Equator. There are 4000 muscles in th body of a caterpillar, and the eye of i dragoon fly contains 28,000 polished lenses. An international scientific associa tion was proposed at the meeting o! tlio British Association in Canada ii 1881, and it is now suggested that thi year 1900 would be an appropriatt time to organize such a society. Some unfortunates, we are told hi M. Phillipo Tissie, are "born tired* in a literal sense. The condition i one of nervous debility transmitted bj a mother to her offspring as a result d her own fatigue or exhaustion—a of poisoning of the child through th* vitiated blood of the parent. Some scientists think that th# earth's interior is composed of white hot molten matter. Others are of th# opinion that the pressure is so great that all substances have been con donsed beyond our powers of concep tion. Dr. Young goes so far as to saj that a block of steel ten feet squar* would be pressed into a block onlj two feet square if taken 4000 miles be low the earth's surface. Dr. Howard, the new Secretary oi the American Association for the Ad vancemeut of Science, writing of th* manner in which seeds are carried to great distances by birds, recited an experience of Darwin which had * curious result. Adhering to the lcj) of a wounded partridge, Darwin found a ball of earth weighing six and a hall Dunces. From the seeds contained in this ball ho raised thirty-two plant* belonging to five distinct species. The microbes of fevers may bo scab tered, Professor Charles Tichborne bet lieves, in dews from sewers. As th sewer water is usually two or threo degrees warmer than the cold air of certain hours of the night, the watery rapor rising through traps may bo frequently condensed, when each parti jle of dew is liable to become a raft OD which microbes may bo carried foi miles, to be finally deposited wherever die dew is dissipated—perhaps in a Iwelling reached through a warm shaft. The phosphorescent lamp on which Puluj, an Austrian physicist, has been it work for many years, lias a bulb much like that of the ordinary incan lescent lamp, with electrodes of alum inum wire extending directly through he wall of the bulb. The negative pole terminates in a small disc. A imall square sheet of mica, coated with sulphide of calcium, hangs from lie lamp globe and faces the disc. When either one or both poles are 3onnected to an induction coil or plate ilectric machine a stream of radiant jleotricity is reflected from the disc to he mica, causing the latter to glow with brilliant phosphorescence. Two Tcleplionu Stories. A green-looking man jame to town .lie other day with a small bucket ol very white butter to sell, aud called ju Will Mattliis to buy it. He said He didn't want any at the store, but lie would inquire if his wife wanted nny. So he stepped to the telephone, sailed her up aud talked for a few seconds through the instrument. Then turning to tho countryman, who was standing with his hands in his poclc sts, his eyes dilated and liis face very red, he told him that liis wife said she would not need any butter. Tho indignant countryman blurted out: "Look hero, mister, if you didn't want any butter, why didn't you say so? I ain't such a fool as to tfiinlc that you've got your wife iu that lit tle box."—Elizabethtown (Ky.) News. Mr. aud Mrs. J. came to town the jther day. Tho madam is a large, muscular lookiug woman, and is evi dently tho boss of the ranch; while Mr. J. is a cowed, effeminate-looking jreature who seoms to bo afraid wliou tho madam is around. While Mrs. J. went into Goldnamer's to do soma shopping, tho little man slipped into Bell's to get a drink. While ho was down there he heard the telephone ring, and inquired what it was. The mysteries of the instrument were ex plained and Mr. Bell offered to call up his wife at Goldnamer's aud let him talk to her. This seemed to please him very much, but just as be got the trumpet to his ear the light ning struck the wire and knocked him down. Staggering to his feet ho said: "That's her; it sounds just like her."—Louisville Dispatch. Earthquake ltestored Speech. Earthquakes as therapeutic agenoies may yet form the subject of seioutilie investigation. The recent disturbance iu Helena was responsible for some queer things, and the strangest o) them all, perhaps, happened in the home of Mr. and Mrs. Charles W. Marden, where it brought speech tc their daughter, Etta, who had beoD silent ten years. "X don't know whether it was the earthquake or not," said Mrs. Marden, "but something made Etta talk, for X heard her. We were awakened by the earthquake, which came at 2:30 o'clock in the moruing. I did not know what it was, and at tirst thought that some thing had happened to Etta. I jumped up and ran to her and said. 'O, Etta, what is tho matter? To my surprise sho replied, 'What?' It was only o word, but it sounded sweet to me. ".Since then I think that Etta line shown more interest in things.. At any rate she is improved."—Helena (Montana) Independent. A Now Problem in Law. A numb prisoner who can't read 01 write is providing c. delicate problem in law for one of the London courts. He can plc.nl neither guilty tiur no. guilty, and ts unable to with his solicitor, which is one ol Mi privileges. So the question is raised whether a special act of Parliament trill be required.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers