VOLUME 1. THE AMERICAN CITIKEW, IP pnblished erery Wednesday in thabnrtiOgjk off Butler, l.v taoau Ko»i *SOV ft C. K.Am»muio> •*» Wain oppotite t<> J.vk's Ilouil—office op maim is the fcrick f.-rmerijif occupied by Kll Yetlfr,a«» #t<>re Tek**:—si 50 a rear. if paid in adrance, * wit*!ln the flrnt «ix of #_ if not paid until aftor the expira tion of tb« flr«t nix months. 11 OF AI'VKKJISI>U One ,-«<iuare n<n~ |ten line* or thre#- tnsnrrton* ...... 4* Kvery «nbe*nTvnt rwt square 4*. card* of 1" line#or few f»r one y eir.fu.-lu ll.• • ». A 00 Oi»m . ri" ii»!. - 1 « i r--.tr *'•»• pnjHTi. 100 txHiiutu -i* ................... 7 00 *?column 112 >r one )«-u --X-t, rolumti r r «ix in ntln *4 '3 iN'lumn t'-»r y«ir.. m '*.» '— ——^ v,«k V y. DOCTOR GUY AT THE LAKE. BY MABTIAL. We reaelie 1 Lake in thcaftifnixin. Onv and I.(I have mentioned air. idy how we had started off; spurred oil—tiny, that is—by Lou's letter to me describing her flirtation with Captain Itaynor.) As a matter of course, every one was on n | tin 1 piazza of the hotel; and as we >p | the steps, I spied Lou at once, walking w i a gontleuian. whom 1 guessed to be Cap Kaynor. They were at the other end o the piazza, however, and as yet did not - us. t living (iuy. therefore a bint, we -li| ped in quietly. to get ofl a little o! mid staiu.ol" travel, before offering the en emy battle.; though, here I wish to re mark. that I consider in\-elf justly emitted to the credit of the entire campaign, if; credit there be. as (iuy bad quite !■ -t bis) heart, and, had I u >t prevented him. would l have rushed up to lam at once, grii vol 112 and angry, and as unlike his usual -ell as | lie could well be, out of delirmn. N I 1 h ave observe'! that, with anything hu man, very much depends on a first i IJ ' - J sion ; and lion, though lovely, not be a i | angel, meeting liny with a sense of d' eat strong upon him. would accord him a I'u J different reception than would beextendad j to him in bis normal mentalcondi|i»««;*nd on this text I held forth, whfle we wen dressing in what tbc clerk faticiously styled .our room. 1 would have dubbed it, want of room. Doctor Guy writhed, as people are apt to do under the surgeon's knife and good advice; but he listened and calmed; and, by the time we went down. I think 1 inay say that 1 had him well in hand. Tt was a delicious evening, close to twi light, the skv all rosy with promise of n 1 .rowinu morrow. »ud the band placed a®- ! tie away under the trees, playing tl <*e thrilling, bewildering, enslaving waltzes of Strauss. We silt down tly, each with n cigar, looking as though we might have been found there since the flood,or at any rate, to draw it mild, as if »u had spent there the greater portion of the afternoon That was a strategy on my part —done t. startle and confound Lou; for seeing u tlicrcs'o quietly, the first question n. istb. What we saw, and how much ? Soon I saw her coming, holding Capt. s am and looking up in his face and then awn\ in a maimer very charming—to Captain lla\«or. Then the little gipsy spied u or rather mo, nnd came simpering : Mr. Martial, dear Mr. Martial, when did you come? why did'ntyou write tome? l»o long have you been here?" And here.-' short, changing from red to pai and back again, nnd looking piteouslv it me; for she had recognized (iuy. For a moment she hesitated ; but Lou BaraC'de was a lady, and guided by a true womanly instinct; and in a moment she held out her hand, frankly saying: •• Is it really you. (iuy ? I should never have dreamed of ucing you here; b»t. 1 think you will like Lake." Andthen turned to her companion. "Captain liaynor, gcntlouien. Jink, will you .show Doctor (,'uy the lions fur a while? I have so many tilings to say and of Mr. Martial."' '•Jack 5" Lou Haracole. who had trcat« Xid even Doctor <iuy with such overwhelnU in" dignity, called that man Jack I I sto.i,| confounded, till the little witch, taking UM by the arm, drew me away, calling as slit weut: " Wo will meet you at tlie inn pie gn.vr yonder. You know tlie place, Jack." I "Are you anxious to hear of a duel 112 nsked 1. significantly. Fhcgrewa little pale at that. "No; what an idea, a.* if t jay would b BO absurd." " '• Men in his position do strange thiugi '■ 11 is position'. Wlm* i8 hispositionto JJIC? Wt are UQtbi*g to each other." '■ Is it so ria*v, tlierr, to hr«»k vowg ;i £>indibg in the tight of God, if not of ;1. llaw. af* those of it.arriag<> t" " I do not consider it in the light." "So much the worse." " Mr. Martial, did you come down here lecture me?" '• i"ou asked me for advice!" "But you are scolding." "No, lam telling you the truth." " I did not think you oould be EO un wind." " What have I done ?" "Yon brought Guy down here." "No; the train did that." • * " Please don't quiz me now. What «d ioe come for?" . / It I AMERICAN CITIZEN. i.. ■ ' hi 11 i i j -Toenjovrte eecncry. and change of I air." I " But what •<■) Ito do?" "You say yosarc nothing to each other! in that c;t-e. <_■" !»n a- before." Hilt ! do liice I 'ms tittle*, and when I see him it maliir- me mi mi*—liiisera h!e. ■She wascryiisg. Peoplebejan to look at me. They Would think •me nil old brute, :md 1 vriwti't sure that I was not one myself. '• For Heavens pake. Lmj, don't cry," 1 urged. "Thials of the jieople." "1 can't help it. Guy looked at meso : he hates inc.'' '• Nothing of the sort, lie come here purposely for a reconciliation." '•Hut he watt in the wrong." "1> rtlliw." " And ought to the first advan • Then you ihonldgive hifi the least ojipi irtunity." Hy this time we were at theniaph trees. 1 tain Uayiioi looked a jiltle aw rly at I.i s red eves, but retained liisusualcoin tre. (itiv «t.irc«dy spoke. Lou fidg- I and jdavet! with the charms on her ( itclaillc; finally. Ml Mr wati h. to the hour, in so doing, a little locket ■ i 'tngopea. Instas 11v lon flo died. hurtling red. and *ml too much confident even to think of - m_- 1 ' iin i(:i,-::r's fiirr > li.i'lig i 1 and darkt ue-1 instantly. It was Guy's miniature. Guf was radiant, *n ten minut»" torn tVat tiui'' he had l<ou on his «rth, and was ofr ontlic pin7.ui. T1" T came buck radi ant. ,VJWHp]ier t IK HI secured a trfr-a fitr with mr. ■•Dour Mr. Martial, I am so much oblig ed— 1 " "Indeed! Tor what?" > " Von km w veil cnoii'jli. For bring in;' Guy hciv." ••The i. yoi ale roconeiled." "Oh ym." "Ai who IHMIC the first advances?" 1 .oil (olored. 1 liirdly know. Mr. Martial. You know li w we wi nt off. liul vou don't know how 1 ( It. I cmMu't find a word tosay till wi Vent and sat down in the parlor. Then I began !o say something about Lute Pia's drci s, to which hcanswered : "I diln't come here. Lou,todiseiiKSthe fashions" I w;U nettled at that. " lie rood cm ugh to direct the conver sion tt what will please you," said I. '•I an a bear " said Guy, penitently, but thei I »iu no miserable." An all beam miserable?" " Doi't jest." Wht shall ' do? Tic silent? 11ae you nothing to my to me?" I uwould.-nubmcagain." Wh.t a little Hurron you arc! 1 nev er saw nything n revengeful. Can't you Id i t'el iw oft' iihen he is sorry, without in king lim goifown on his knees?" " Vou are sorry, then ?" * " Yes.' " Forvrhat ?" "Witt a queiSwa!" "I at anxioin to prevent a misunder standini. 1 thuucht that you treated me very ill you at the time thonght not." " Hut:hen you wouldn't hear reason." ''Pefcaps our definitions differ." lie \rs silctil at t) t. and 1 ■ -kii> LT at him, 1 liw his face working, and saw. too, tha{ if we wanton that way. we should quarrel; gain, So 1 said to him: "Oh I Guy. wi were both wrong, and 1 am very sorry fotmy folly." And that helped his lordship lewn, n adea sort of ladder, on it were. ti| ho Ya 'ley of Humiliation, and after til# we can tie on famously, " I'rai>!" I waoirulyde ighted. anil took fatherly . .ire them, having contributed so largely, i my think'" •. it lea-t. to their happinej ; but :bere was something yet to come. f'itt u{ modr Ji a window. T hoard a voi.-e irfioot tb 3 window. Captain llay liisaisna, eljj ureniembera conver -niijn hjisome sixaiouths ago, in which yt a d. -it (■!, thn if a imui loved you.you vrmtld m(v<! of lliai tliehuuibk-.-t an In. -i - i'-ervi#,t of aortaW? that you would k p him fur month* insus| HUM*. that you •id tot ore iii.ni wit If flattery, and make hiu revel hits p anion to all tii« world,be fore you «»er ga| e him a syllable of encour agement 7 ''lf laid anj thins of the sort, it was certainkv most foolish saying." "I thi.'ht BO then. It Ijas. however, otc jn.rit-t.hat cf novelty. I resolved to try it" • "Capt«n Raj nor!" " I him tried it." "Oh! ' lush!" "And : th FU .'CCM. I think." N'o an; er, but 1 heard something like a sob • i "Let us have Faith that Right makes Might; and in that Faitfi let us, to the end,dare to do our duty as we understand it"—A. LINCOLN. BUTLEIt, BUTLER COUNTY, PA., WEDNESDAY,'DECEMBER, 1863. " Have I not ?" There could be no doubt about the sob bing. » " Still," pursued Captain Raynor, "I love you, have loved you, even while! gave yon pain ; bnt 1 thought that proud spir it of yours needed conquering." '• l'nu have been very cruel." " I'' ■* your good. \ou believe it, and will forgive me will you not. It was mean perhaps; but I listended engerlv'for her answer What do you think it was? I could scarcely believe my ears, but it came clear and distinct, and subse quent events bore it out. This sweet girl, lovely, accomplished, anil worthy of some good mail, said totliis cowardly, lying, heartless, gentlemanly ruffian, "yes." Poor Lute l'ina! Had I been a little Miuivjer. and not quite so much afraid of a pistol. I would have challenged and shot Captain llayaor with move pleasure than I ever ate mj breakfast. 'i wo days before, he had offered himself to Lou Hartcolo. A SINGULAR ADVENTURE.— Once up on a time a traveler stepped into a stage coach, lie was a young man starting in life. He found six all gray headed and extrpmely aged. The voungest appeared to have seen at least < •_htv winters. Our vo«iig traveler, struck with llie singii'"' mild niul happy aspect which languished all his fellow passen determined to ascertain the seoretof a long life and art of making old age com fortable; ho addressed the one apparently the eldest who told him he had always led a regular and abstemious life, eating veg etables and drinking water. The young man was rather daunted at this, inasmuch as he liked tho good things of Ibis life.— lie addressed the second, who astonished him saying he had always eaten roast beef, and gone to bed regularly fuddled for the last -eventv years, adding that all depend ed on regularity. The third had prolong ed his days by ncversecking or accepting office; the fourth by resolutely abstaining from all political or religious controver sies; and the fifth by going to bed at sun set and rising at dawn. The sixth was ap parently much younger than the ofherflve —his hair was less gray n»d there was more of it—a placid smile, denoting a per fectly easy conscience mantled his face; and his voice was jocund and strong. They were all surprised to learn that he was by ton years the oldest man in the conch. " How is it yon have thus preserved tho freshness of life ? cxclnimed our young traveler. The old gentleman immediately answer ed (he young traveler by saying: '• I have drank water and wine—Thav|( eaten meat and vegetables—l have drflß bled in polities and written religtouP pamphlets—l havo sometimes gone to bod at midnight; and got up at sunrise and at noon," he then fixing his eyes intensely upon the young man, concluded with the singular remark : "But I always pay promptly for my newspapers." £•*; A grazier of Pomerania has com municated to the school of Medicine, at Jlcrlin, a method of his for preserving horned cattle from the contagious typhus fever, which, a few years ago, caused such uneasiness to agriculturists in Germany. It consists in inoculating the animalswith the saliva of a subject laboring under the disease by making an incision somewhat less than an inch iu length on the inner side of the thigh. . m —■> PS.A Dutchman was relating his mar velous escape from drowning when thir teen of his companions were lost bythc upsetting of a boat, and ho alone was saved. "And how did you escape their fate?" asked one of bis hearers. "I tid not cointe pote,"was thelXutch man's placid answer. l- • Ttic following mot is relntedof Longfellow, the {ioet. Young Mr. Long worth, of Cincinnati, being introduced to him in Boston. some one pretent remarked upon the similarity of the first syllable of of the two names. "Yes," said the poet, "but in this ease 1 fear I'opc's line will apply: " Worth makes the man, and want of -it the frWtw.'" _ OVER-REACIIj NO. —To present horses fr\>m over-reaching in travelling, a writer in the Rural Xmc Yorker, says : " Let the blacksmith make the heel corks ofthe fore shoes high and the tpe corks low; and the toe corks of the shoes high and the heel corks low." TJjis u said to be an infallible remedy. tkf" Heroine" isperhaps as peculiars word as any in our language. The first two letters of it are male, thejirst three fe male, the first four a brave man, and the whole word a brave woman. K ' Frwtu the New York Mercury. THE NOON-DAY WALK. BT C. I. B. I today, wher* thooMnda meet— Tb« KIUI, the atudouA, nnd the g*y— Ati<! many clad in sorrow'® treed*, i*;we«H| by we on tliat ' uuy day. My heart WHM with mie*, For I. like them. ha»Tfwr*iT vrept Ov"r lb'* nrjtmy m<>wn«l»»«»fth'*.> \V ho left mo of all hope bereft. Thirrp.moved the pale fdr fhrlnhinjr girl, \\ itn ha*ty itrfM nnd j •yleet eye, V here laborarnrcely <■ i iu'dlier bread, 1 gave her all I could—anih. Next, *• Fashion'* ld«d" t«*ik >!«•• place of |'omiary> fair, fragile, flower; An !, decked in fabrics rich and rare, She reigned with beauty'rt 'witching power. Tin' merchant, dreaming but «>f tain. Thftft:ttertaMi filled with lu>|hw of fame, The iHM t vrrapf in mu-ijig» «veet. All witliamne pur|Mw«- onward came. And then. ineth<>ught. a little time. MM tie up <.f uiidie*, h-»pe«, and I oars, p if»«. and then Ihofe thn-l bing heartri M ■ iild real uuvexed from worUlly leans. Far, far removed from Ufe and strife, The monrnerH' tear* -« a«e t»» ll««w, And sotißß of gladnoas will aiine From fitose who struggle here in woe. These vain, thwe anxious dreiuning one^, Aduwn Time's stream are harrying fast, A heavenly watcher o'er them hem Is, Who'll call hid wouderers home at last. WIT AM) WINUO.n. tkß" It is exceedingly impolite to whis }>er or laugh in the house uf' God. JO-.? " When we nay of men that they are sclf-mado, we do so out of respect to our Maker. Utrg" A verdict rendered ou a man who died in a state of inebriation, was : " Death by hanging—around a grogshop." JN> " The following epigram was written by Burns, (IN ANDREW TURNER, in so'enteen bunder an' forty-nine, Patau took htntf tomak a swine, And cri:d it In a corner: Ibit wilily he changed his plan. And shaped it something like a man, And ca'ed it Andrew Turner. THE YEKITAM.H "I?JU THXNO".— .V pair of Government shoes was last week made in Boston i'nr aNorwcgian, a miuiof gigantic proportions. The size is IVo. 20, and the measure aSfollows: heel, Hi inches; ankle, 12 inches; instep, 12 inches; toes, 11 8-4 inches, lie is a cojor-sergeant in an artillery regiment of the Army, and is at present at l'urt Hamilton, Mew York llarbor "IIIsLiST LECIS." are told hy persons recently from Paris, that the ac complished and elegant young men sent out by the Rebel Government as diners out and to influence opinion in French so ciety, have been leftijuito withoutmonoy. Mr. tSlidell refuses to advance any more of his own funds, and the .Northerners re fuse to lend. CELESTIAL PHOTOGRAPHS. —Doctor Draper, of New York, celestial photo grapher, lias constructed a reflecting tel escope that magnifies the moon to IS2O times its size as seen with the naked eye. Photographs have been taken, represent ing that body on a scale of seventy miles to the inch, and showing with great dis tinctness mountain-ranges, volcanic cra ters, and streams of lava. A PLEASANT LITTLE AFFAIR, —The Aissa Outra, about the maddest of the Mohammedans, have celebrated thobirth day of their prophet at Algiers in a very outre, manner. Some burned their tongues red hot irons, some did the trapeze HRword-blades, some ate scorpions, some JPiigcß out their own eyes with pieces of steel, and some were even so religious as to swallow the prickly leaves of the cac tus. "A LITTLE RELISH." —Tho Burgund ians like large vine-snails. Theyarcscrv ed, in good houses, seven or eight on ahot little silver plate, and a silver two-pronged fork is the instrument with which they arc pulled out of tho shell, the entrance of which is covered with a sort of light 1 astry. They feci in the mouth something liko a piece of beefsteak. Tho plateful is cno'itrh for one dinner, the snails arc so big and the meat is so strong. A ROMANTIC REALITY. —The Virgin ia City (Nevada) Bulletin says it is abso lutely no figure of speech to say that the streets of that place are paved with silver. Thousands of tons of rock which, in other countries, would pay well to extract the silver from, arc used to level and macada mize the streets. Rock that will not pass through the screens -at the quartz-mill, is carried onto the roads, though some of it, in many other place.', would be consider ed rich. jfcsof The following, upon Vulgar Na ture*, is admirably true and docs not in clude a line that could be well spared : Tendfr-hHii'liwi. strnkf n nettle, And it ytings you fir yvtir paiu«; Gr**i> it lik»- a man of m tt io. And it »>f; a* Mik remains. Ttetfb# with vi h,.»c nature*; tb«m kiodiy, thfc.v rrtwj; Ik ua rough as i.oiuitj;"grater*, And the n-giMH übt y 3 uu will. V KIM IHJCRIOUS To THE EYES.—La dies before you expend the sum—be it seventy-five cents or seventy-five dollars— for a bit of gossamer, with which to en hance your beauty %y partially conceal ing it, pause and think. Curtis, a cele brated sciectific writer on humaa sight, objects in toto to the practice of wearing veils, as the continuous endeavors of the eye to adjueit itself to the Baseless vibrations of that t<io uncommon article of ladies' druse, MaiilVs in its serious injury. The hurtful tendency of the custom, if not felt immediately, will sooner or later be inad«> apparent, flvme ph v *jeiaDsgo so far as to ascribe much of At of children and adujtutai the fact that their mothers were inj.be constant habit of wear ing lave veils. The Food Question in Washington. The Food Question, writes a Washing ton correspondent, fumous in all treatment of national economy as a science, never had sych interest for a people as has the Honsa Question for the homeless and roomies in Washington. Where Con gress Is to sleep—where eat—where the ti'hird llpuse is to ref'rcsli itself with slum ber and food alter its exhausting labors in legislating for our beloved country —is the sphinix-riddlc which is the principal to pie of our conversation. It might be li belous to tell the prices that the hotels will charge for board during the approach ing session. To convey to the Northern mind a sense of the enormity of rents of 81.200, §1,500, 82,000, S?:!,500, for hou ses that would shrink out of the society of the buildings between the Fifth and Hev eth avenues, above Fourteenth street, in New York, one would have to employ photographs of the exterioreaud interiors, and borrow from Cologne the phrtiseology descriptive of smells. From forty to one hundred and twenty dollars a month is the price of a furnished room for a single gentleman. We saw a mother with a babe in her arms, stand aghast, to-day, at a demand for twenty cents a quart for milk, principally drawn from the pump. At 's restaurant, yesterday, the proprietor, rescuing his reputation from a charge of extortion, in a flutter of (ler lnan rage pointed to the cauliflower in his market book as costing sevftity-flve cents, to the butter fifty cents, to the beef stake thirty-five cents, to the eggs thirty six cents, and so through .the contested bill of fare. Coal is selling at 811, wood at these details of the ruin of Washington life, where is the shelter for the people who inevitably will come to Washington in Uoccnibor ? No one can tell. Alrea dy engagements of houses and rooms in Baltimore have been made. Georgetown is taken up. The enormous prices of lodg ings and dwellings all over Washington indicate the demand for quarters, mid the demand is not anywhere near its height. It is estimated that an investment in Washington of §5,000 in a building, on a lot worth 81,000, pays, at present routs, an interest of five hundred per cent. A WOMAN'S QUESTION ANSWERED.— Some one—a woman, of course—inquires why, when EVE was manufactured from a spare rib, a servant wasn't made at the same time to wait upon her. Somebody else—a woman we imagine—replies in the following strain : Becauso AI>AM nevor. came whining to EVE with a ragged stock ing to be darned, collar string to be sew ed on or glove to mend "right away, quick, now 1" Because he never read the paper until the sun got dawn behind the. palm trees, and then stretching himself, yawned out, " Ain't supper most ready, my dear?" Not he. lie made the fire and hung the kettle over it himself, we'll venture; and pulled the radishes, peeled the potatoes, and did everything else ho ought to do. He milked the cows, fed the chickens, and looked after the pigs himself. He never brought half a dozen friends to dinner, when EVE hadn't any fresh pomegranates and the mango season was over. lie never stayed out till elev en o'clock to a ward meeting, hurrahing for an out-and-out candidate, and then scolding because pooT EVE was sittiug up and crying inside „ the gates. He never played billiards, rolled ten pins, and drove fiist horses, nor ehoaked EVE with cigar smoke. lie never loafed around corner groceries while EVE was rocking little CAIN'S cradle at home. In short he didn't think she was especially created for the purpose of waiting on him, and wasn't under the impression that it disgraced a man to lighten a wife's cares a little.— That's the reason EVE didn't need a hir ed girl; and with it was tlw reason that her fair descendant's did. ELECXKICAL PHENOMENA. —A. party consisting of three Englishmen and a la dy, with two guides, endeavored to make the ascent of tho Alps on the 10th of July last, hut when they had proceeded some distance they were prevented hy a storm, during which they pot ifito the middle of an electric cloud. Their hair emitted a hissing, crackling sound as if it had been under the influence of a powerful electri cal machine, and over their faces and bo dies they experienced a pricking, burning sensation. There were pcais of thunder heard, at each of which the party received an electric shock, but no lightening was seen. The right arm of one of A# par ly vaa paralyzed for »ev«rit minutes; the sbow emitted fc'*-*'b# sounds; tne veil worn by iuc- lady stood straight out, as ateo did the hair of all of them, wh'A looted ludicrous that they could not help bursting into laugh4er. The phe nomena lasted for about twenty-five min utes, and no evil off' <ih were felt after ! wai... Economy in a Family, There is nothing which goes so far to wards placing young pooplu beyond the reach of poverty as economy in tho man agement of household affairs, • It matters not whether a man furnishes little or much for his family, if there is a continu al leakage in his kitchen or parlor; it runs away he knows not how, and that demon Waste erics More! like (he horse Looclie'ii daughter, until lie that provided has more to give. It is the husband s duty to bring into the house; audit isthe duty of the wife to see that none goes wrongfully out of it. A man gets a wife to look after his affairs, and to assist him in his journey through life, to educate and prepare their children for a proper situa tion in life, and not dissipate his property. The husband's interest should be . tin wife's care, and her greatest ambition to carry her no farther than his welfare or happiness, together with that of her chil dren ! This should be her w hole aim, and the theater of her exploits ill the bosom of her family, where she may do as much towards making a fortune as he can in the counting-room or workshop. It is not the money earned that makes a man wealthy—it is what ho saves from his earnings. Self gratification in dress, or iudulgcucc in appetite, or more com pany than his purse can contain, arc equ ally The first adds vanity to extravagance; the second fastens a doctor's bill to a long butcher's account; and the latter brings intemperance—tho worst of all evils—in its train. Neugli Goqs,. What is the difference between a pig con with one wing and a pigeon with two? A difference of a-piumu. Why are K and 1 tho happiest of the vowels? Heeausc they are always fbtlnd in heaven blt'ss, while all the rest arc in purgatory. in what time of the world's history did the ocean produce grain? In the time of the Ceeroops (sea-crops.) To test tho truth of tho following, tr| it : Why is a good sermon like a kiss? liccau'-e all it requires is two heads and an application! Speaking of sormnns reminds mo of Nosh;— ITow many came out of the ark before him? Three*—for Noah came/"ith. Whflt is a good motto for a wood-chop per? llcw an cry. Another: — What isa good motto for adressmaker? "Let her rip." Still another:— What should be her epitaph? Let her It (est) I (n) I' (eaco)J If the compass was your guide in se lecting a young lady with magnetic at tractions, what name would it indicate?— Miss North (of course.) What is tho difference between an al ley gate and an alligator? Tlio one you bolt, the other bolts you. What is tho difference between a col ored sexton and a darning-ne> die? One is a bigger needle, tho otli-r a nigger beadle. Hero is a couple of integrity (?): — Why is Powers, ilio sculptor, consider cd a dishonest man ? Uocausehe chiseled a poor Greek slave out of Mock of a block of marble I Why arc married ladies considered dishonest? Uecausethey tire! theirskirts h</nc tlieir bodies, crib their babies and hoo/c their dresses! IIoW THE SOLDIKKS SLEWS. —You wouM. I think, says a letters from the Ar my of tlic Cumberland, wonder to see men lie down in the dusty road, under the full noon sun of Tennessee and Alabama, and fall asleep in a minut:. I hare pass ed hundreds of such sleepers. A dry spot is a pood mattress; the flap of a blanket quite a downy pillow. Yon would won der, I think, to see a whole army corps, as I have, without a shred of a tent to bless themselves with, lying anywhere and everywhere in all-niglit raiu, and not a growl nor a grumble. I was curious to see whether the pluck and good nature were washed out of them, and BO I made my way out of the snug, dry quarters I am afhuned to say I ocoajikd, at five in (he morn in; to - what water had done with them. Nothing! Each soaked blank et hatched out 23 jolly a fellow as you wish to see— mnddy, dripping. half forth they came, wringing them&jtv-W otl ' ] as they went, with troop of " wet down" fo" ruin storm, pluma-c mast, but heart* trumps every tiuie. If they swore—and some did—it was with a laugh; the sleepy five# wi ill #tirred up; then came the—coffee, ijAd they \vere a.i. good as new. "Ulood is thicker than water.'' REBEL GEXERAM. —THE Richmond papers contain a list of thirty-eight rebel Generals who hare b«ea kMlsd. or died from wounds received in battle; thirteen who died from diwatte, ami tbirteea who _hsve resigned < NUMBER 1. Important Medioal Discovery, A Londou letter says: "A great dis covery is just now engaging the atten tion of tha seientitieand medical Few English names' are more familiar tq Americans thftn that of Of. Holm Ohii;>* 'man, oil'cc the'le-ufmjj imlittetWW'Tferfc!? caj Ihm>ks, now editor of llji' Jl' - ■ n Vr, and always n devotee of scier.-e end medi cine. lie is well acquainted with many scientific niul literary Ann •••■, and many of tjjem, other.Mr l:\-ii.V --son, have resided in his i,.. ; v.ii.ai in England. This Dr. Chapman lr.-i ber'n for years engaged in studies and cxi en ments connected with the nervous system alone, with sin I) men as Pr. lirown, Se quard and Claude Bernard, of Paris.—* (•'or the past year he has lieen proving a tremendous discovery—nunclv, the cure of epilepsy, and many disea- hit'h.'i !.i> deemed incurable. by moans of the.cjti.r-. ual application of icn and hot water, ia India rubber Imps, at various paris of tha spinal cord, acting thus upon the sympa thetic nerve, and through ii upon tlij most important and vital regions of the body. "Many eminent physicians Juwe ac companied Dr. Chapman to sen th mar vels which he had wrought upon patients wno had long ago despaired of hoall h.— Some physicians, among otlicrs Dr. Wil kinson, (though a hinnivpathistj have so recognized the importance of the discov ery as to commit to I)r. Chapman's care some of their patients. Coses are ftt,tes ted whore a man for six years had tlirco (its (on nn'average) daily, a girl why had two from the ages of thirteen tOseveutecn had been entiruly cured by ico. Justus wonderful have been the euros of paraly sis. Many of the worst and most-invet erate female diseases have yielded to the new cure. The treatment is as simple as it is grand. Any one who is troubled by the pressure of blood on the brain will find that by holding a bast of ice on the nape of the neck fur ten minutes, an equa ble flow of blood can be secured. Thorn who are troubled with habitual-cold may find relief by applying ice to the small of the back in the lumbar region. It is hard to estimate the importance i.f lb ■ dis. ov ery, which will ere long be the side Of that of (Tenner. MT are already under Dr. Chapman's prac tice, and, as yet, no one can bring for ward an instance of failure '' A NK\T STKA.H CAKKIAOK:—A now steam carriage has just been finished in Philadelphia, and a public taial of it wa< bad on Tuesday, with very satisfactory re sults. It is intended for use on public roads, and is thus described; An ordinary &ur wlioel carriage has an upright boiler, of aboijt sixteen inches in diameter in the rear, with the lever regu lating the steam and speed extending over the seat in front. Beneath this boiler i.; the furnace, which gives no outward ,-ign of its presence, a..d in tin: rear of th,, boiler is the small water tank. The stcrnjfc guage is on a level with the driver, • ml he can, without inconvenience, ascertain the amount of steam generated. Tho whole machine is of two horse power.— Two persons take their seats in the car riage, and off it sUrtd, tho driver Kuictipg with one baud tho front wheels, by means of a crank, and with the other hand he can regulate the speed of the engine or stop the carriage in less time t.'ian a pair of horses can be brought to a halt. Tha shaft which propels the carriage commu nicates with a small crank, and f!;j* m turn acts upon the larger crank affixed tq the axel of tho hind wheels. Coal „iH. cicnt for one day's driving cun be carnal beneath the seat of tho ci/rri.i gc, and al though the speed attained i. that of tho fastest horse, the expense of running the: carriage is estimated at one cuitper mile while in operation, with the additional virtue of not costing anythimnn tha way I of feed and stabling when not iu usy. Tuesday, when the cartage w-as exhibited j the engine carried but fifteen en 4 tr enly joucds of steam, and ycLk taxed t-'.j •.owcrs of the hor - r f.-t v*u>, do not weigh uioic tliag '' 11 pounds. .No diflii J-V; exj e . turningA* V '-orners or ii l«*. -.tig, and it* working <!•-. jpott su'qWsH'- UM! satisfaction. *ss" A certain green customer, who waa a stranger to mirroxs, aad who step ped into the cabin of one of oar ocean steamers, stopping in front of z. large pier which he took for a door he said. "I say ,vl ister when docs thkboat iiai t?" Getting no reply from the dumb reflec tion before him he agai» repeated tha.. question— Inscnsed at the silent fig arc- tie broke out. Goto thunder you darnd aa»:-a». »c-e&l --look as if ytftf knew much any bos,
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers