BLAIR. VOLUME 24. THE WAYNESBOBO' - VILLAGE RECORD, PUBLISRED ENICRY TSURSDAY.MORNING By W. - BLAIR. • ' TERMS—Two Dollars per Annum if paid within the year; Two Dollars and Fifty cents after the expiration of the year. ADVERTISEMENTS—One Square (10 lines) three insertions, $1,50; for each subsequent insertion, Thir five Cents per Square. A liberal discount made to yearly adver tisers. LOCALS.—Business Locals Ten Cents per line for the first insertion, Seven Cents for subsequent insertions. professional ()arils. J. B. ABIBERSON, N. D., PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON, WAYNESBORO', l'A. Office at the Waynesboro' "Corner Drug Store." , [jane 29—tf. 3D R. B. .7' - 12., _AN" T , Had resumed the practice of Medicine. OFFICE—In the Walker Building—near the Bowden House. Night calls should be made at his residence on Main Street, ad joining the Western School House. July 20-tf I. SNIVMT-ir, 1/1- PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON. WAYNESBORO' PA. Office at his residence, nearly opposite the Bowden House. Nov 2—tf. JOHN A. HYSNONG, ATTORNEY AT LAW, AVING been admited to Practice Law at the several Courts in Franklin Coun ty, all business entrusted to his care will be promptly attended to. Post Office address Ilercersburg, Pa. LEW TV. DEVIUCH, ATTORNEY AT LAW, N., AyNEssoao', PA, Will give prompt and close attention to all business entrusted to his care. Office next a -deor-to-the-Bowden-Houserin-the-Walk.er Building. [July 6 JOSEPH. 3DOTTGLA,S, ATTORNEY AT LAW, WAYNESBORO', PA. Practices in the several Courts of Franklin and adjacent Counties. N. B.—Real Estate leased and sold, and Fire Insurance effected on reasonable terms. December 10, 1871. Ta. A._ 014 ii FMR,, D - TIST, GREENCASTLE, I A. Experienced in Dentistry, will insert you :sets of Teeth at prices to suit the times. Feb. 16, 1871. 41 . 1 t. bN. STEMILLEN, (FORMERLY OF MERCERSBURG, PA.,) "VEERS his Professional services to the AY citizens of Waynesboro' and vicinity. Da. STRICKLER has relinquished an exten sive practice at Mercersburg, has been prominently engaged for I, years in the practice of his profession. He has opened an Office in Waynesboro', at the residence of Ueorge Besore, Esq., his Father-in-law, where he can be found at all times when not professionally engaged. July 20, 1871.-tf. A. K. BRANISHOLTS, RESIDENT DENTIS T ~„ _ geater*-f---- WAYNESBORO', PA., •Can be found at all times at his office where he is prepared to insert teeth on the best basis in use and at prices to suit the times. Teeth extracted, without pain by the use of chloroform, eather,' nitrous oxid egas or the freezing process, in a manner surpassed by none. We the undersigned being acquainted with A. K. Branisholts for the past year, can rec ommend him to the public generally to be a Dentist well qualified to perform all ope rations belonging to Dentistry in the most skillful manner. Drs. J. B. AMBERSON, I. N. SNIVELY, E. A. HERRING, J. M. RIPPLE, J. J. OELLIG, A. S. BONBRAKE, T. D. FRENCH. wept 29tfl c. s. DEALER IN WA SPOKES AND JEWELB 883 WEST BALTIMORE STREET, BALTIMORE, MD. .11slirWatches Repaired and Warranted:VA te'Jewelry Made and Repaired. - eit July 13, 1871.4 f. SURVEYING AND CONVEYAKCING, rE undersigned having had some ten ears experience as a practical Surveyor is prepared to do all. kinds of Surveying, laying out and dividing up lands, also all kinds of writing usually - done by Scriveners. Parties wishing Work done can call on, or address the undersigned at Wayn esboro'Pa. fob 2—tf] A. B. STOLE It. • BAR M IR, I INT Cl-I E subscriber informs the public that he continues the Barbering business in the room next door to Mr. Reid's Grocery Store, and is at all times prepared to do hair cat. tins, shaving,' harapooning etc. in the bast style. The patronage of the pi:dab:is :upset& fully solici • Aug 28 1871. W. A. 'PRICE. pottrg. SUING /LOUIS. LAST POEM OF P/ICEBY CAltgr . [This poem was written, after receiving a gift. of flowers from her friend, Mrs. Ma ry Stevens Robinson, who had the sad pri vilege of being with the poetess through her last sickness and death at Newport.— Ensl • 0 sweet and charitable friend, Your gift of fragrant bloom • Has brought spring-time and the woods To cheer my lonely room. It rests my weary, aching eyes, An soothe my heart and brain, To see the tender green of the leave§ And the blossoms wet with rain. • I know not which I love the most, Nor which the comfiest shows ; The timid, bashful violet, ' Or the royal-hearted rose ; The pansy in her purple dress, . The pink with cheek of red, • Or the faint, fair heliotrope, who hangs, Like a bashful maid, her head ; For I love and praise you, one and all, From the least low bloom of spring, To the lily fair, whose clothes outshine The raiment of a king. And when my soul considers these, The sweet, the giand, the gay, I marvel how we shall be clothed With fairer robes than they. And almost long to sleep and rise, And gain that fadeless shore ; And put immortal splendors on, And live to die no more. ENJOYNE?iT OF LIFE. 'Tis notor man to trifle. Life is brief, And sin is here, SA age is but the falling of a leaf— A-dropping tear. We have no time to sport away the hours; Ill_m_ust_b_e_enrnest in a world like ours. Not many li yes, but only one, have .we— Frail, fleeting man 1 How sacred should that one life ever be- That narrow span 1 Day after day filled up with blessed toil, Hour after hour still bringing new spoil. Piutilautous N.tailing. AMONG THE CELESTIALS. A Miss Susan A. King, a lady who has accumulated quite a fortune by speculat ing in real estate in New York city, has made quite a tour through China, prin cipally in the tea growing districts. A re porter of the New York World inter viewed her the other day, and from that source we learn some interresting facts a bout the social life of the celestials. She says the condition of women in China is about the same as in country that higher classes of Chinesh women a r e taught like ours to controll their voices; that ii is not polite to speak above a cer tain tone. They study attitudes and ef fects before their mirrors for hours at a time ; just like ours, and they bandage their feet for the same reason that our girls cramp theirs. In fact, small feet are the 'style," and what American girl wouldn't walk on her head to be even with "style 7" The ladies of the higher classes are extremely agreeable in maners. They are much more polite than our la dies in some respect. They always offer you a cup of tea and something to eat.— ' But just as with us, business topics are ta booed and only " society" talk allowed in the parlor, the difference being that it is Mr. Chefoo, instead Mr. Fitznoddle, and the size of a lady's foot instead of her panier, winding up in both hemispheres with the length of somebody's purse.— Education of a certain kind is encour aged, anything that is pretty and useless is encouraged for women, just as it is with us, and precisely for the same reason, be cause men, wealthy men, will not marry them, if they have large feet and hands, coarse complexions, and look as if they were accustomed to labor. It is all alike. I could not see any difference in reality between the "civilization" of the West and the "Barbarism" of the East. In both cases the high class lady prides herself up on her helplessness, upon how little she knows and how. little she can do, and the more helpless they are the better men like them in New York as well as in China.— There are some of the smartest women in the world found in the conimon class women in China. They have natural feet, which would prevent them ever being first wives to men in social position or consideration; but they do business, can go anywhere they please 'and are nearly always intelli• gent and well read. Custom, which is stronger than law in China, gives married women the controll of money they earn. The business women, the compodoresses, have their money, and spend a great deal. The New York women thought they did great things in forming a little club, and a meeting once a month at Delmonico's. Well, in China the compodoresses meet and gamble and dress and dine, just as men do here, and enjoy it amazingly. I went to a number of these gatherings, which take place sometimes at the tea houses: and I tell you they dress magnif icently, and spend money exactly as the men do at their clubs. One important fact noticed by Miss King was the entire absence of whiskoy and drunkenness in the interior of China. It seems that where our boasted civilization penetrates, whether to the savages of America or the philosophical Celestials, there follows in its train drunkenness and bestiality. In all the parts of Chinn or Japan that Miss P -NI 4 . 4)6:PAY1) Di'ksl7 l k/ >9 O V-V;P ITO *.l l >OA WAYNESBORO', FRANKLIN COUNTY, Pi., THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 30,1871. Bing visited she saw much drunkenness and crime among the natives but when she got beyond civililation these • evils disappeared. Tea is the universal bever age, and go where you will you fi n d "The • houses," and the moment you en ter a cup of tea is handed you and per haps some sweetmeats; a sort ,of sugar bean is the usual kind. A cup of tea costs about one "cash," eleven of which are required to make one of our cents in value. Living is very cheap, Miss King says, if you conform to the Chinese meth ods, but if you want European articles of food, all of which are imported from Europe or America, a fortune will be swallowed up in less than no time. For instance, the cows are imported, and cost two thousand dollars each ; the owner ship, therefore, is confined to a few weathy European families, and two or three great European hotels. You can imagine what butter and milk cont under such conditions as these. A sheet of English note paper costs $l, and a very poor bonnet, that could be bought here for from $3 to $5, costs $4O there. After a little experience says Miss King, I began to adopt the Chi nese method of living, and finally got a long very cheaply indeed. Chinamen can support a wife and family first rate on ten cents per day ; he can do it tolera bly on six ; but ten cents provides really good living. The middle class women don't spend their time cooking and house cleaning as the same class do here.— There are cook-shops all along the streets, where men get their chow chow, and where women send for dishes already cook ed for the family. Then they have no beds that need making or coverings that need washing; the better class sleep on mats, and the poor in the northern part of China, where it is sometimes very cold, have a corner bricked up,. so as to make a sort of oven, or furnace. A very small fire is sufficient to keep this warm, so that the children can be put in it any time du ring the day and the whole family turned in to sleep at night. —Women-don't-live-single-in-China-;-ther • is hardly a single women to be found in China. All the efforts of the • arents are devoted to getting her married, and a fe male child is often promised to the son of a friend before she is born. Daughters are undesired all over the world, and in Chi na with reason even more than in Ameri ca, tbr the lot of a girl, if she is poor, is terrible, and mothers and fathers too would rather see them die than live to inherit it. That is the reason why female infanticide is so common in China. They consider it a justifiable act to rid her of the evils to come. Moreover, a daughter is hardly considered as belonging to her parents, or in her own family. As soon as she is betrothed—which .is as soon as a suitable husband can be found --she is adopted into his family, is brought up, and educated by them, and even if he should die, would still be at their dispo sal to bestow in marriage, if they choose, upon some one else. She has the alterna tive, however, of dedicating herself to the memory of her first affianced, and such an act is considered very.praiseworthy. If she should do so, and live to be 100 years old, faithfully fulfilling her vows, worshiping the tablets of his ancestors, she would have a paygod erected to her memory.— There are several such in China. I saw one on the road between Wampooa and Canton. , Tablets are blocks of wood, common or fragrant, upon which are carved names, titles, or representations of the animal, which represents the year in which the an cestor was born, and the name and date of the reigning dynasty. They form a sort of genealogical record, and . descend to the eldest son, who, with his, family, pays them ceremonious homage. Tablets are created in honor of either father or mother, or both, but a daughter may not have one ; she is expected to worship the tablets of her husband's family. The daughters of poor men sometimes marry rich men, it is just like it is here. The poor man will strain 'every nerve to rear a small-footed daughter, so that he can marry her well ; just as the poor men here will move heaven and earth to make their daughters useless and accomplished so they can marry wealthy men. The Women of Utah. The Salt Lake correspondent of the Sacremento Union gives the .following as a copy of the paper signed by nearly 2,500 women of Utah, and forwarded by them to Washington in October • "PETITION OF THE MORMON 'WOMEN. —Mrs. President Grant Honored lady deeming it proper for woman to appeal to woman, we, Latter-day Saint ladies of Utah, take the liberty of preferriug our humble and earnest petition for your kindly and generous ,aid ; not merely be cause you are the wife of the Chief Mag istrate of our great notion, but we also are induced to appeal to you because of your high reputation for nobility and ex cellence of character. Believing that you, as all true women should do, (le in our estimation every wife should fill the position of counselor to her husband), pos sess the confidence of and have much in fluence with his Excellency President Grant, we earnestly solicit the exercise of that influence with him in behalf of our husbands, fathers, sons and brothers, who are now being exposed to the murderous policy of a clique of Federal officers, in tent on the destruction of an honest, hap py, industrious and prosperous people.— We have broken no constitutional law, violated no obligation, either national or sectional ;_ we revere the sacred Constitu tion of our country, and have ever been an order-loving and law-abiding people. We believe the institution of marriage to have been ordained of God, and there fore subject to His all wise direction. It is a divine rite and not a civil contract and hence no man unauthorized of God can legally administer in this holy ordi nance, We believe all so in the Holy Bible, and that God did anciently insti tute the order of plurality of wives, and sanctioned and honored it in the advent of the Savior of the world, whose birth •on the mother's side was in that polygamous lineage, as He testified to His servant John s on the Isle of Patmos, saying, "I am the root and the offspring of David." And we not only believe but assuredly know that the Almighty has restored the fullness of the everlasting Gospel through the prophet Joseph Smith, and with it the plurality of wives. This we accept as a purely divine institution. With us it is a matter of conscience, knowing that God commanded its practice. Our Ter ritorial laws make adultery and licenti ousness penal offences, the breach of which subjects the offender to fine and im prisonment. These laws are being base ly subverted by our Federal officers ; who, after unscroupulously wresting the Territorial offices from their legitimate holders, in order to carry out suicidal schemes, are substituting licentiousness for the sacred order of marriage, and seeking by these measures to incarcerate the most moral and upright men this Ter ritory, and thus destroy the peace and prosperity of this entire community. • They evidently design to sever those con jugal, parental and fraternal ties which are•dearer to us than our lives. We ap preciate our husbands as highly as it is possible for you, honored madam, to ap preciate yours., They have no intersts but such as we share in common with them. If they are prosecuted, we are prosecuted also ; if they are imprisoned, we and our children are left unprotected. As a com munity we love peace and promote it.— Our leaders are peace-makers, and, invar iably stimulate the people to pacific mea sures even when subjected to the grossest injustice. President Brighan Young and several of his associates, all noble and philanthropic gentlemen, are already un der indictment, to be arraigned before a. -packed-jurymostly-nen-rosidentia,for-the crime of licentiousness, than which a more outra • - ous absurdit • could not exist. Un- der these forbidding and cruel circum stances, dear Madam; our most fervent petition to you is, that through the sym pathy of your womanly heart you will persuade the President to remove the ma licious disturbers of the peace, or at least that ho will stop the disgarceful Court pro cedings, and send from Washington a committee of candid, intelligent, reliable men, who shall investigate matters which involve the right of property—perhaps of life; and more than all, the constitution al 'liberties of more than 100,000 citizens. By doing this you will be the' honored in strument, in the hand of God, of prevent ipg a foul disgrace to the present Admin istration, :Ind an eternal blot on our na tional escutcheon. For which your peti tioners will ever pray." A' Curious Matrimonial Question. The San Jose (Cal.) Mercury contains this singular story : There realties with his mother in Santa Clara, Charles W. Sikes, a young man of good reputati on, worthy and honest, but of humble circumstances in life. There also resides in the same town, with her parents, Miss Hattie Burnett, en estima ble young Indy of eighteen, of fine accom plishmenta and unsullied character. These young people, it is asserted, formed an at tachment fol. each other, against the wish es of. the girl's parents, who 'sought, by various means, to break the intimacy be tween them„ and they had to meet clan destinely. This state of affairs existed for many months, until the 4th of September last, when Mr. Sikes, accompanied by a young lady who gave es name as Hattie Bur nett, called at the law office of C. C. Ste phens, of this city—an acquaintance of both parties—a nd stated as their object in calling the intention of being united — in marriage. Justice Stewart was called in, and the pasties were duly marrieii. They returned' i te Santli Clara,remained(through out the day at the young man's home; and then the lady went to her own home. Now comes in the mystery, romance,: or what you may c5 , .11 it, of the whole affair. The fact of the marriage leaked out—for Sikes made no secret of it—and soon reach ed the ears of the girls parents. They ask ed her if it was true. She said no, and seemed greatly surprised at the intima tion. Sikes claimed that she was his wife, and the girl was broughtto confront him in the presence of Kr. Stephlns. Here she denied everything relating to the alleged marriage—had only known Sikes as a passing acquaintance—never intended to marry him—the whole thing was a fraud —some woman bearing a resemblance to her had been procured .to personate her, &o. And at this she firmly persists at the present time. The parents believe the girl—the public, mostly, sympathize with Sikes. Some think that her fears have been wrought upon until she dare not own the truth. Others don't know what to think. Word to Young Men. Wishing and sighing, imagining and dreaming of greatness, said Wm. Wirt, will not make you great. But cannot a young man command his energies. Read Foster on decision of character. This book will tell you what is in your power to accomplish. You must gird up your loins and go to work with all_ the indo mitable energy of Napoleon scaling the Alps. It is your duty to make the most of time, talents, and opportunity. Al fred, King of England, though he per formed more business than any of his, subjects, found time to study. Franiclin, in the midst of his labors had time to dive into the depths of philosophy, and explore an untrodden path of s ience.— Frederick the Great, with an Empire at at his direction, in the midst of war, and on the eve of battle, found time to . revel in the charms of philosophy, and . feast on the luxury of science. Napoleon, with Europe at his disposal, with kings in his ante c amber, at the head of thousands of men, *hose destinies were suspended on arbitrary pleasure, found time to con verse with books. And young men who are confined to labor or business even twelve hours a day, may take an hour and a half of what is left for study, and this will amount to months in the course of a year. Build Him a Fire. Perrin, the landlord - of the Westminster Hotel, in New York, if not often nonplus sed, but last August a dapper littte French man staggered him for a moment. Walk ing up to the office he at costed Ferrin with. ' "If you lease Monsieur, you shall send bill de fire in my room.'W "A what 1" said. Ferrin, 'looking at the thermometer,. which indicated 92 de grees. "I wish ze bill de fire in my apart ment," repeated'the Frenchman. "All right, sir,":esaid Ferrin, with that outward imperturbilaity with which the true Hotel keeper receives an order for anything, if it be gold dust pudding with diamond plums. "John 1 fire in 10,001." Yes sur-r-r !" said John ; and by the time the Frenchman arrived at his room, John, with perspiration pouring off of him, had the grate filled and a blaze roar ing up the chimney like mad. "Vat ze diable you do r cried the as tonished foreigner. "Built a fire, as ye ordered," replied the other exile. "Fire!" screamed the Frenchman. "I shall roast myself mith ze heat 1" and rushing down stairs, he appeared at the office with inflamed face and moistened shirt•collar, exclaiming :. "I ask you ; (43—not-for—t-!---thin make myself more hot, I can for bill de fire—ze bill ze carte so can eat myself • wiz my dinnaire." "Bill of fare ? Oh ! yes, sir," said Pet rin. "I beg your pardon." And he po litely passed out the programme for the day but deputed one of the garcons of the restaurant to answer any further or ders from the subject of Napoleon. THE NEXT ColizEr.—Enck's comet• is now on its way towards the perihelion ; which it will reach in January next. The comet has been telescopically visible for some time, but it is not % an object of spe cial interest to those whose vision is unaid ed by instruments. It has a very short period—only three years and a quarter.— The least distance from the sun is 32,000,- 000 of miles, or about the average distance of Mercury. The greatest distance is 887,- 000,000 of miles, or more than four times that uf the earth. This comet is princi pally of interest because its period of rev olution has diminished to the extent of a bout three days in the past eighty years, a fact which is generally accepted as fur nishing the beat proof of the theory that the regions of space are filled by mateirial "either" capable of retarding the motion of the bodies composing the solar system. Of course.this resisting medium would pro duce annual effects upon the comet of a few tons in weight, that would not be ex perienced by our earth in the course of thousands of ages. But the result, though long deferred, is none the less inevitable —earth, planets and commets will be e ventually precipitated into the sun. SOUND DocTRINE.—."ra az you go." This little rpaxim kontains with ita fore blessed monysillables an aualisis ov wealth it is fortin's steppin stone, and a letter ov credit none can distrust wher ever it gore. It is the right bower ov ekonomy and maid of oner to plezure—fdlz the da hours with kwiet and drives the balif from the nite dreem, 'Pa as you go," and .you will kno how fast you are goin. and when it is time to stop, Tradesmen will bow when they meet yu, and det with his hun gry wolfs.tred; will stare on yure trail.— Here is an antydote for much that iz the philosopher's stone ; here is a motto fur manhood ; here is a levin fur enny sized lump. • You man, pa az yu go, and when yu git old yu will not depart from it. Oth er articles will sertainly cluster about yu. ; and when natur hands in her bill yu will be all the better prepared to "pa az you go."—Josh Billings. HOME CC:oNVERBATION.—ChiIdren hun ger perpetually for new ideas. They will learn with pleasure from the lips of par ents what they deem it drudgery to .study in books : and even if they have the mis fortune to be deprived of many education al advantages, they will grow up intelli gent if they enjoy in childhood the priv ilege of listening daily to the conversa tion of intelligent people. We sometimes see people who are the life of every com pany they enter, dull silent, and uninter esting at home among their children. If they have not mental activity , and mental stores sufficient for both, let them first use What they have for their own households. A silent house is a dull place for young people, a place from which they will es cape if they can. How much useful in formation, on the other hand, is often giv en in pleasant family conversation, and what unconscious but excellent mental training in lively social argument. Cul tivate to the utmost all the graces of home conversation. Like a morning dream life becomes brighter and brighter the longer we live, and the reason of everything becomes more clear. What has puzzled us before seems less mysterious,and the crooked paths look straighter as we approach the end. A MIXED UP FAXILY.- , —A sufferer by alliance between - Connections by marriage thus explains his position: "I married a widow who had a grown-up daughter.— My father visited our house very often, and fell in love with my stepdaughter, and married her; so my father became my son—in—law, and my step-daughter ,my mother, because she was my father's wife.• Some time afterwards my wife had a son —he was 'my father's brother-in-law and my uncle, for he wag • the brother of my stepdaughter. My father's wife, i. e., my step=daughter, had also a son ; he was of course my brother, and in the meantime. my grandchild, for he was the son of my daughter. My wife was my grandmoth er, bemuse she was my mother's mother. I was my wife's husband and grandchild at the same time. And as the husband of a person's grandmother is the grand father, I was my grandfather." ' A SHORT SERMON.—To him that is at ease in his possessions and surrounded with all that can make life desirable, the thought of death is not a welcome one.— It is, nevertheless, true, that "it is appoin ted unto man once to die." His brief span of "three score years and ten," is soon passed, and the waters of oblivion close over him. Let him so live, that whatev er his earthly possegdiont3, they may be as nothing to his heavenly,—the crown of life, the palm of victory, the new name, the new Jerusalem, its walls of jasper, its gates of peral, its streets of gold, - the riv er of life, the amaranthine bowers, and Him who is the light thereof! Shall earth ly possessions, only for a brief period,da7, zle our eyes and keep us from looking to wards that "better country" where we may enjoy a richer inheritance, not for "three score years and ten," merely, but through the countless ages of eternity ettEErmwEss.--We believe that cheer fulness can be, and ought to be, cultiva ted by all ;. that kindness is most benefi cially contagious ; that to carry good na ture and a - wisely curbed temper with you kg :le II 1 •• you go ; that patience and forbearance in , our-intercourse_with family_and friends and community will always bring forth the richest of social fruits ; that the trea sure of good dceds achieved, the sufferings assuaged, are worth infinitelyanore than political• honors ; that the creation of joy is inestimably better than the besetting sin of borrowing trouble; and with Charles Lamb, that "a laugh is worth a hundred groans in any state of the market." THE WEEPING Wnzow.—The follow ing is the authentic and rather romantic history of the drooping and mournfully beautiful weeping willow : "Alex Pope, the English poet, received from the East a present of a basket of Smurna figs. Among these he discover ed a small green twig, and with a feeling of tenderness and curiosity toward the del icate gem which bad so singularly main tained its vitality, he planted it in his own garden at Twickenham. It soon grew to be a large tree, and from this have sprung all the weeping willows of England and America. It is an old anecdote, but a good one, which declares that a son of Erin's Isle, wandering along one of the roads of Con necticut, and meeting there a most pious and solemn resident of that loCality, ask ed him ; "An' plan your honor, will ye be so kind as to tell where this road I'm walkin' in lades to ?" was answered in de liberate tones. "It leads to h--1;" and Erin replied, "Fain, an' by the looks of the country and its inhabitants I do be thinking I'm most there." STICKING TO ONE PLAN.—Farman get discouraged sometimes by occasional gluts, low prices, and over-production. Every one must expect this ; hut it will gener ally be found true that those farmers who expect only fair profits, who aim to raise gocd crops, by taking good care of a fair supply of farm animals, and lay out a good plan and stick to it,. year by year, through good or evil, will, in the long run, make the most money, over those who shift their crops with every tide of specu lation. There is nothing so good as hang ing on to the, last. At a negro camp-meeting, in Georgia, the other day, the orator of the day, see ing some of the members had whisky bot tles in their pockets, said: "Thar's some of these here bredderen tryin' for to git into the kingdom. with a whisky-bottle in thar pockets. The gite of Heben's mighty narrer, bredderea ; much as ever you is gwine to do to squeeze in yourself: How does yer spect yer gwine to git in thar with a whisky bottle hung to yet?" A member asked what they should do with them. "Bring them right up to the pulpit," said the speaker, "and I will offer dem as a sac- rifice to the Lord." About a half-dozen bottles were accordingly transferred to the pulpit. The darkey gave a short ser mon and then repaired to his tent, and two hours after was so drunk that he coirld'nt stand alone. There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness. but of pow er. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the mes sengers of grief, contrition, and. love, In the intoxicating cup discontentseeks for-comfort ; cowardice for courage ; bash full new for confidence ;sadness for joy; and they all find ruin. Life is a sleep. Old men are those who have slept the longest; they only login to awaken when it is time to die. No great and good man ever had a mother who dressed in the height of fash ion. . $2,00 PER YEAR NUKBE 23, ti 4414 . SuAtor. Waste of col4-Ladies bluihing un seen. Isn't it queer that contractors shoultibe employed to widen streets? An old bachelor is a traveler on life's railroad who / has entirely failed, to make the proper connections. One who has reflected: a good deal on the lapse of ages -,prefers, j _ on the whole, the age of seventeen, A lady describing an ill-tempered man, said, he never smiles but he feels asham ed of it. The quickest way for a man to forget all common miseries is to wear tight boots. Why are married ladies like a scanty harvest? Because they require husband- i men. Sweedish brandy is flavored' with red ants, but a fellow limit we know says he has an aunt flavored with brandy. Three Providence families hair° nam ed theit cats ; Morgianna Longtail, Ific oedemus Paachblossom, and Josephas Of angeblossom, A young" „man in town, who is wrest ling with his first mustache, proposes to name it after two leading baseball clubs, because there are nine no a side. A sensible lady of mature years says that it does not look well for a young law yer to put his arm around a girl at a oir cue and comb hm hair .with his ~fiugures. Teacher to a Sunday School boy, "0, you have an elder brother; well how old. is he Boy : "Dunn, Miss, but he's just started o' swearing." A man in " • left a boarding-hones -just because a rat .• o ; his ear. When. 'people get be that . rkicular about tri nes, they o ht to qui boarding and go to keeping house. Mr. Carver, doing the honors of his ta ble, said to one of his guests, a fashiona bly dressed girl of the period, "I see that you have plenty. of breast, Miss, but do have a little more dressing 1" A Chicago merchant advertised a "boy wanted," and before he got down town his clerk met him, hreathless,"anditold him his wife had twin boys. Ob, it pays to advertise. A love lettered up in Springfield' D., had the following paragrapb : "air loved one, I chewed the postage stamp on your last letter all to thunder, because I knew you licked it on," Yon will notis one thing the devil sol d= offers tew go into partnership with a bizzy man, but you will often Pee him offer tew jine the lazy man, And funth . k . all the kapital. I live in Julia's eyes,' said an effeoied dandy, in Coleman's hearing. "I don't wonder at it," replied George, "since I ob served that she had a Sty in them when I saw her last. In Hamilton, Ohio, a few days Since, a fee of twenty-five cents was collected from all persons who entered a church for the purpose of witnessing a • marriage. The money was . given to the young couple to start them in life. • A gentleman having a sertant with' a very thick skull, used often to call him the king of fools. "I wish," said the fel low one day, "you could make your words good, as I should thon: i be the monarch of the world." An old colored washerwoman who used to groan over her tubs, found 'consolida tion in the hope, that, "she would soon be where robes won't need washing, and a poor creature can upset her tub and dance on the bottom of it, singing glory, hulla baloo, forever and forever!" It is reported that a somewhat jnve-' nile dandy said to a fair partnerita ball: "Miss' dont you think my, .inoustacheEi are becoming ?" • "Well, sir, they may be coming but .they have.not yet arrived. A St. Louis girl broke her neck, while attempting to prevent a young man from kissing her. brace then it has been an easy tusk to kiss St Louis ‘ girla—they are gentle and quiet as lambs. If any. young men dont believe it, they can go and try Josh Billings says "Most • melt: will concede that it looks foolish to see a boy draggin' a heavy sled up hill for the fleet in' pleasure of ridin' down again. But it appears to me that the boy is a sage by the side of a young man who works hard all week and drinks up his wages on Saturday night.' . If wk is bad in age, what. must it be in youth. An .Irishman calls his sweetheart "Hon ey," because she is "bee-loved." Why is a good husband like dough ? Doughn't you know? Why, it is because a woman needs him. Dogs are represented to be the most tslallful, dentists. They insert teeth.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers