The Waynesboro' village record. (Waynesboro', Pa.) 1871-1900, November 30, 1871, Image 1

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By W. - BLAIR. • '
TERMS—Two Dollars per Annum if paid
within the year; Two Dollars and
Fifty cents after the expiration
of the year.
lines) three insertions, $1,50; for
each subsequent insertion, Thir
five Cents per Square. A liberal
discount made to yearly adver
LOCALS.—Business Locals Ten Cents per
line for the first insertion, Seven
Cents for subsequent insertions.
professional ()arils.
Office at the Waynesboro' "Corner Drug
Store." , [jane 29—tf.
3D R. B. .7' - 12., _AN" T ,
Had resumed the practice of Medicine.
OFFICE—In the Walker Building—near
the Bowden House. Night calls should be
made at his residence on Main Street, ad
joining the Western School House.
July 20-tf
I. SNIVMT-ir, 1/1-
Office at his residence, nearly opposite
the Bowden House. Nov 2—tf.
AVING been admited to Practice Law
at the several Courts in Franklin Coun
ty, all business entrusted to his care will be
promptly attended to. Post Office address
Ilercersburg, Pa.
AyNEssoao', PA,
Will give prompt and close attention to all
business entrusted to his care. Office next a
Building. [July 6
Practices in the several Courts of Franklin
and adjacent Counties.
N. B.—Real Estate leased and sold, and
Fire Insurance effected on reasonable terms.
December 10, 1871.
Ta. A._ 014 ii FMR,,
Experienced in Dentistry, will insert you
:sets of Teeth at prices to suit the times.
Feb. 16, 1871.
41 . 1 t. bN. STEMILLEN,
"VEERS his Professional services to the
AY citizens of Waynesboro' and vicinity.
Da. STRICKLER has relinquished an exten
sive practice at Mercersburg, has
been prominently engaged for I,
years in the practice of his profession.
He has opened an Office in Waynesboro',
at the residence of Ueorge Besore, Esq., his
Father-in-law, where he can be found at all
times when not professionally engaged.
July 20, 1871.-tf.
•Can be found at all times at his office where
he is prepared to insert teeth on the best
basis in use and at prices to suit the times.
Teeth extracted, without pain by the use of
chloroform, eather,' nitrous oxid egas or the
freezing process, in a manner surpassed by
We the undersigned being acquainted with
A. K. Branisholts for the past year, can rec
ommend him to the public generally to be
a Dentist well qualified to perform all ope
rations belonging to Dentistry in the most
skillful manner.
wept 29tfl
c. s.
.11slirWatches Repaired and Warranted:VA
te'Jewelry Made and Repaired. - eit
July 13, 1871.4 f.
rE undersigned having had some ten
ears experience as a practical Surveyor
is prepared to do all. kinds of Surveying,
laying out and dividing up lands, also all
kinds of writing usually - done by Scriveners.
Parties wishing Work done can call on, or
address the undersigned at Wayn esboro'Pa.
fob 2—tf] A. B. STOLE It.
E subscriber informs the public that he
continues the Barbering business in the
room next door to Mr. Reid's Grocery Store,
and is at all times prepared to do hair cat.
tins, shaving,' harapooning etc. in the bast
style. The patronage of the pi:dab:is :upset&
fully solici
• Aug 28 1871. W. A. 'PRICE.
. [This poem was written, after receiving
a gift. of flowers from her friend, Mrs. Ma
ry Stevens Robinson, who had the sad pri
vilege of being with the poetess through
her last sickness and death at Newport.—
• 0 sweet and charitable friend,
Your gift of fragrant bloom
• Has brought spring-time and the woods
To cheer my lonely room.
It rests my weary, aching eyes,
An soothe my heart and brain,
To see the tender green of the leave§
And the blossoms wet with rain. •
I know not which I love the most,
Nor which the comfiest shows ;
The timid, bashful violet, '
Or the royal-hearted rose ;
The pansy in her purple dress, .
The pink with cheek of red, •
Or the faint, fair heliotrope, who hangs,
Like a bashful maid, her head ;
For I love and praise you, one and all,
From the least low bloom of spring,
To the lily fair, whose clothes outshine
The raiment of a king.
And when my soul considers these,
The sweet, the giand, the gay,
I marvel how we shall be clothed
With fairer robes than they.
And almost long to sleep and rise,
And gain that fadeless shore ;
And put immortal splendors on,
And live to die no more.
'Tis notor man to trifle. Life is brief,
And sin is here,
SA age is but the falling of a leaf—
A-dropping tear.
We have no time to sport away the hours;
Ill_m_ust_b_e_enrnest in a world like ours.
Not many li yes, but only one, have .we—
Frail, fleeting man 1
How sacred should that one life ever be-
That narrow span 1
Day after day filled up with blessed toil,
Hour after hour still bringing new spoil.
Piutilautous N.tailing.
A Miss Susan A. King, a lady who has
accumulated quite a fortune by speculat
ing in real estate in New York city, has
made quite a tour through China, prin
in the tea growing districts. A re
porter of the New York World inter
viewed her the other day, and from that
source we learn some interresting facts a
bout the social life of the celestials. She
says the condition of women in China is
about the same as in country that
higher classes of Chinesh women a r e
taught like ours to controll their voices;
that ii is not polite to speak above a cer
tain tone. They study attitudes and ef
fects before their mirrors for hours at a
time ; just like ours, and they bandage
their feet for the same reason that our
girls cramp theirs. In fact, small feet
are the 'style," and what American girl
wouldn't walk on her head to be even
with "style 7" The ladies of the higher
classes are extremely agreeable in maners.
They are much more polite than our la
dies in some respect. They always offer
you a cup of tea and something to eat.—
' But just as with us, business topics are
booed and only " society" talk allowed in
the parlor, the difference being that it is
Mr. Chefoo, instead Mr. Fitznoddle, and
the size of a lady's foot instead of her
panier, winding up in both hemispheres
with the length of somebody's purse.—
Education of a certain kind is encour
aged, anything that is pretty and useless
is encouraged for women, just as it is with
us, and precisely for the same reason, be
cause men, wealthy men, will not marry
them, if they have large feet and hands,
coarse complexions, and look as if they
were accustomed to labor. It is all alike.
I could not see any difference in reality
between the "civilization" of the West and
the "Barbarism" of the East. In both
cases the high class lady prides herself up
on her helplessness, upon how little she
knows and how. little she can do, and the
more helpless they are the better men like
them in New York as well as in China.—
There are some of the smartest women in
the world found in the conimon class women
in China. They have natural feet, which
would prevent them ever being first wives
to men in social position or consideration;
but they do business, can go anywhere
they please 'and are nearly always intelli•
gent and well read. Custom, which is
stronger than law in China, gives married
women the controll of money they earn.
The business women, the compodoresses,
have their money, and spend a great deal.
The New York women thought they did
great things in forming a little club, and
a meeting once a month at Delmonico's.
Well, in China the compodoresses meet
and gamble and dress and dine, just as
men do here, and enjoy it amazingly. I
went to a number of these gatherings,
which take place sometimes at the tea
houses: and I tell you they dress magnif
icently, and spend money exactly as the
men do at their clubs. One important
fact noticed by Miss King was the entire
absence of whiskoy and drunkenness in
the interior of China. It seems that
where our boasted civilization penetrates,
whether to the savages of America or the
philosophical Celestials, there follows in
its train drunkenness and bestiality. In
all the parts of Chinn or Japan that Miss
P -NI 4 . 4)6:PAY1) Di'ksl7 l k/ >9 O V-V;P ITO *.l l >OA
Bing visited she saw much drunkenness
and crime among the natives but when
she got beyond civililation these • evils
disappeared. Tea is the universal bever
age, and go where you will you fi n d
"The • houses," and the moment you en
ter a cup of tea is handed you and per
haps some sweetmeats; a sort ,of sugar
bean is the usual kind. A cup of tea
costs about one "cash," eleven of which
are required to make one of our cents in
value. Living is very cheap, Miss King
says, if you conform to the Chinese meth
ods, but if you want European articles of
food, all of which are imported from
Europe or America, a fortune will be
swallowed up in less than no time. For
instance, the cows are imported, and cost
two thousand dollars each ; the owner
ship, therefore, is confined to a few weathy
European families, and two or three great
European hotels. You can imagine what
butter and milk cont under such conditions
as these. A sheet of English note paper
costs $l, and a very poor bonnet, that
could be bought here for from $3 to $5,
costs $4O there. After a little experience
says Miss King, I began to adopt the Chi
nese method of living, and finally got a
long very cheaply indeed. Chinamen
can support a wife and family first rate
on ten cents per day ; he can do it tolera
bly on six ; but ten cents provides really
good living. The middle class women
don't spend their time cooking and house
cleaning as the same class do here.—
There are cook-shops all along the streets,
where men get their chow chow, and
where women send for dishes already cook
ed for the family. Then they have no
beds that need making or coverings that
need washing; the better class sleep on
mats, and the poor in the northern part
of China, where it is sometimes very cold,
have a corner bricked up,. so as to make
a sort of oven, or furnace. A very small
fire is sufficient to keep this warm, so that
the children can be put in it any time du
ring the day and the whole family turned
in to sleep at night.
—Women-don't-live-single-in-China-;-ther •
is hardly a single women to be found in
China. All the efforts of the • arents are
devoted to getting her married, and a fe
male child is often promised to the son of
a friend before she is born. Daughters are
undesired all over the world, and in Chi
na with reason even more than in Ameri
ca, tbr the lot of a girl, if she is poor, is
terrible, and mothers and fathers too would
rather see them die than live to inherit it.
That is the reason why female infanticide
is so common in China. They consider it
a justifiable act to rid her of the evils to
come. Moreover, a daughter is hardly
considered as belonging to her parents, or
in her own family.
As soon as she is betrothed—which .is
as soon as a suitable husband can be found
--she is adopted into his family, is brought
up, and educated by them, and even if he
should die, would still be at their dispo
sal to bestow in marriage, if they choose,
upon some one else. She has the alterna
tive, however, of dedicating herself to the
memory of her first affianced, and such an
act is considered very.praiseworthy. If she
should do so, and live to be 100 years old,
faithfully fulfilling her vows, worshiping
the tablets of his ancestors, she would
have a paygod erected to her memory.—
There are several such in China. I saw
one on the road between Wampooa and
, Tablets are blocks of wood, common or
fragrant, upon which are carved names,
titles, or representations of the animal,
which represents the year in which the an
cestor was born, and the name and date
of the reigning dynasty. They form a
sort of genealogical record, and . descend
to the eldest son, who, with his, family,
pays them ceremonious homage. Tablets
are created in honor of either father or
mother, or both, but a daughter may not
have one ; she is expected to worship the
tablets of her husband's family.
The daughters of poor men sometimes
marry rich men, it is just like it is here.
The poor man will strain 'every nerve to
rear a small-footed daughter, so that he
can marry her well ; just as the poor men
here will move heaven and earth to make
their daughters useless and accomplished
so they can marry wealthy men.
The Women of Utah.
The Salt Lake correspondent of the
Sacremento Union gives the .following as
a copy of the paper signed by nearly
2,500 women of Utah, and forwarded by
them to Washington in October •
—Mrs. President Grant Honored lady
deeming it proper for woman to appeal
to woman, we, Latter-day Saint ladies of
Utah, take the liberty of preferriug our
humble and earnest petition for your
kindly and generous
,aid ; not merely be
cause you are the wife of the Chief Mag
istrate of our great notion, but we also
are induced to appeal to you because of
your high reputation for nobility and ex
cellence of character. Believing that
you, as all true women should do, (le in
our estimation every wife should fill the
position of counselor to her husband), pos
sess the confidence of and have much in
fluence with his Excellency President
Grant, we earnestly solicit the exercise of
that influence with him in behalf of our
husbands, fathers, sons and brothers, who
are now being exposed to the murderous
policy of a clique of Federal officers, in
tent on the destruction of an honest, hap
py, industrious and prosperous people.—
We have broken no constitutional law,
violated no obligation, either national or
sectional ;_ we revere the sacred Constitu
tion of our country, and have ever been
an order-loving and law-abiding people.
We believe the institution of marriage
to have been ordained of God, and there
fore subject to His all wise direction. It
is a divine rite and not a civil contract
and hence no man unauthorized of God
can legally administer in this holy ordi
nance, We believe all so in the Holy
Bible, and that God did anciently insti
tute the order of plurality of wives, and
sanctioned and honored it in the advent
of the Savior of the world, whose birth •on
the mother's side was in that polygamous
lineage, as He testified to His servant
John s on the Isle of Patmos, saying, "I
am the root and the offspring of David."
And we not only believe but assuredly
know that the Almighty has restored the
fullness of the everlasting Gospel through
the prophet Joseph Smith, and with it
the plurality of wives. This we accept as
a purely divine institution. With us it
is a matter of conscience, knowing that
God commanded its practice. Our Ter
ritorial laws make adultery and licenti
ousness penal offences, the breach of
which subjects the offender to fine and im
prisonment. These laws are being base
ly subverted by our Federal officers ;
who, after unscroupulously wresting the
Territorial offices from their legitimate
holders, in order to carry out suicidal
schemes, are substituting licentiousness
for the sacred order of marriage, and
seeking by these measures to incarcerate
the most moral and upright men this Ter
ritory, and thus destroy the peace and
prosperity of this entire community. •
They evidently design to sever those con
jugal, parental and fraternal ties which
are•dearer to us than our lives. We ap
preciate our husbands as highly as it is
possible for you, honored madam, to ap
preciate yours., They have no intersts but
such as we share in common with them.
If they are prosecuted, we are prosecuted
also ; if they are imprisoned, we and our
children are left unprotected. As a com
munity we love peace and promote it.—
Our leaders are peace-makers, and, invar
iably stimulate the people to pacific mea
sures even when subjected to the grossest
injustice. President Brighan Young and
several of his associates, all noble and
philanthropic gentlemen, are already un
der indictment, to be arraigned before a.
crime of licentiousness, than which a more
outra • - ous absurdit • could not exist. Un-
der these forbidding and cruel circum
stances, dear Madam; our most fervent
petition to you is, that through the sym
pathy of your womanly heart you will
persuade the President to remove the ma
licious disturbers of the peace, or at least
that ho will stop the disgarceful Court pro
cedings, and send from Washington a
committee of candid, intelligent, reliable
men, who shall investigate matters which
involve the right of property—perhaps of
life; and more than all, the constitution
al 'liberties of more than 100,000 citizens.
By doing this you will be the' honored in
strument, in the hand of God, of prevent
ipg a foul disgrace to the present Admin
istration, :Ind an eternal blot on our na
tional escutcheon. For which your peti
tioners will ever pray."
A' Curious Matrimonial Question.
The San Jose (Cal.) Mercury contains
this singular story :
There realties with his mother in Santa
Clara, Charles W. Sikes, a young man of
good reputati on, worthy and honest, but
of humble circumstances in life. There
also resides in the same town, with her
parents, Miss Hattie Burnett, en estima
ble young Indy of eighteen, of fine accom
plishmenta and unsullied character. These
young people, it is asserted, formed an at
tachment fol. each other, against the wish
es of. the girl's parents, who 'sought, by
various means, to break the intimacy be
tween them„ and they had to meet clan
This state of affairs existed for many
months, until the 4th of September last,
when Mr. Sikes, accompanied by a young
lady who gave es name as Hattie Bur
nett, called at the law office of C. C. Ste
phens, of this city—an acquaintance of
both parties—a nd stated as their object in
calling the intention of being united — in
marriage. Justice Stewart was called in,
and the pasties were duly marrieii. They
returned' i te Santli Clara,remained(through
out the day at the young man's home;
and then the lady went to her own home.
Now comes in the mystery, romance,: or
what you may c5 , .11 it, of the whole affair.
The fact of the marriage leaked out—for
Sikes made no secret of it—and soon reach
ed the ears of the girls parents. They ask
ed her if it was true. She said no, and
seemed greatly surprised at the intima
Sikes claimed that she was his wife, and
the girl was broughtto confront him in
the presence of Kr. Stephlns. Here she
denied everything relating to the alleged
marriage—had only known Sikes as a
passing acquaintance—never intended to
marry him—the whole thing was a fraud
—some woman bearing a resemblance to
her had been procured .to personate her,
&o. And at this she firmly persists at
the present time. The parents believe the
girl—the public, mostly, sympathize with
Sikes. Some think that her fears have
been wrought upon until she dare not own
the truth. Others don't know what to
Word to Young Men.
Wishing and sighing, imagining and
dreaming of greatness, said Wm. Wirt,
will not make you great. But cannot a
young man command his energies. Read
Foster on decision of character. This
book will tell you what is in your power
to accomplish. You must gird up your
loins and go to work with all_ the indo
mitable energy of Napoleon scaling the
Alps. It is your duty to make the most
of time, talents, and opportunity. Al
fred, King of England, though he per
formed more business than any of his,
subjects, found time to study. Franiclin,
in the midst of his labors had time to
dive into the depths of philosophy, and
explore an untrodden path of s ience.—
Frederick the Great, with an Empire at
at his direction, in the midst of war, and
on the eve of battle, found time to . revel
in the charms of philosophy, and . feast on
the luxury of science. Napoleon, with
Europe at his disposal, with kings in his
ante c amber, at the head of thousands of
men, *hose destinies were suspended on
arbitrary pleasure, found time to con
verse with books. And young men who
are confined to labor or business even
twelve hours a day, may take an hour
and a half of what is left for study, and
this will amount to months in the course
of a year.
Build Him a Fire.
Perrin, the landlord - of the Westminster
Hotel, in New York, if not often nonplus
sed, but last August a dapper littte French
man staggered him for a moment. Walk
ing up to the office he at costed Ferrin
with. '
"If you lease Monsieur, you shall
send bill de fire in my room.'W
"A what 1" said. Ferrin, 'looking at
the thermometer,. which indicated 92 de
"I wish ze bill de fire in my apart
ment," repeated'the Frenchman.
"All right, sir,":esaid Ferrin, with that
outward imperturbilaity with which the
true Hotel keeper receives an order for
anything, if it be gold dust pudding with
diamond plums.
"John 1 fire in 10,001."
Yes sur-r-r !" said John ; and by the
time the Frenchman arrived at his room,
John, with perspiration pouring off of
him, had the grate filled and a blaze roar
ing up the chimney like mad.
"Vat ze diable you do r cried the as
tonished foreigner.
"Built a fire, as ye ordered," replied
the other exile.
"Fire!" screamed the Frenchman. "I
shall roast myself mith ze heat 1" and
rushing down stairs, he appeared at the
office with inflamed face and moistened
shirt•collar, exclaiming :. "I ask you ;
make myself more hot, I can for bill de
fire—ze bill ze carte so can eat myself
wiz my dinnaire."
"Bill of fare ? Oh ! yes, sir," said Pet
rin. "I beg your pardon." And he po
litely passed out the programme for the
day but deputed one of the garcons of
the restaurant to answer any further or
ders from the subject of Napoleon.
THE NEXT ColizEr.—Enck's comet• is
now on its way towards the perihelion ;
which it will reach in January next. The
comet has been telescopically visible for
some time, but it is not % an object of spe
cial interest to those whose vision is unaid
ed by instruments. It has a very short
period—only three years and a quarter.—
The least distance from the sun is 32,000,-
000 of miles, or about the average distance
of Mercury. The greatest distance is 887,-
000,000 of miles, or more than four times
that uf the earth. This comet is princi
pally of interest because its period of rev
olution has diminished to the extent of a
bout three days in the past eighty years,
a fact which is generally accepted as fur
nishing the beat proof of the theory that
the regions of space are filled by mateirial
"either" capable of retarding the motion
of the bodies composing the solar system.
Of course.this resisting medium would pro
duce annual effects upon the comet of a
few tons in weight, that would not be ex
perienced by our earth in the course of
thousands of ages. But the result, though
long deferred, is none the less inevitable
—earth, planets and commets will be e
ventually precipitated into the sun.
SOUND DocTRINE.—."ra az you go."
This little rpaxim kontains with ita fore
blessed monysillables an aualisis ov wealth
it is fortin's steppin stone, and a letter ov
credit none can distrust wher ever it gore.
It is the right bower ov ekonomy and
maid of oner to plezure—fdlz the da hours
with kwiet and drives the balif from the
nite dreem, 'Pa as you go," and .you
will kno how fast you are goin. and when
it is time to stop, Tradesmen will bow
when they meet yu, and det with his hun
gry wolfs.tred; will stare on yure trail.—
Here is an antydote for much that iz the
philosopher's stone ; here is a motto fur
manhood ; here is a levin fur enny sized
lump. • You man, pa az yu go, and when
yu git old yu will not depart from it. Oth
er articles will sertainly cluster about yu. ;
and when natur hands in her bill yu will
be all the better prepared to "pa az you
go."—Josh Billings.
ger perpetually for new ideas. They will
learn with pleasure from the lips of par
ents what they deem it drudgery to .study
in books : and even if they have the mis
fortune to be deprived of many education
al advantages, they will grow up intelli
gent if they enjoy in childhood the priv
ilege of listening daily to the conversa
tion of intelligent people. We sometimes
see people who are the life of every com
pany they enter, dull silent, and uninter
esting at home among their children. If
they have not mental activity , and mental
stores sufficient for both, let them first use
What they have for their own households.
A silent house is a dull place for young
people, a place from which they will es
cape if they can. How much useful in
formation, on the other hand, is often giv
en in pleasant family conversation, and
what unconscious but excellent mental
training in lively social argument. Cul
tivate to the utmost all the graces of home
Like a morning dream life becomes
brighter and brighter the longer we live,
and the reason of everything becomes
more clear. What has puzzled us before
seems less mysterious,and the crooked paths
look straighter as we approach the end.
A MIXED UP FAXILY.- , —A sufferer by
alliance between - Connections by marriage
thus explains his position: "I married a
widow who had a grown-up daughter.—
My father visited our house very often,
and fell in love with my stepdaughter,
and married her; so my father became my
son—in—law, and my step-daughter
mother, because she was my father's wife.•
Some time afterwards my wife had a son
—he was 'my father's brother-in-law and
my uncle, for he wag • the brother of my
stepdaughter. My father's wife, i. e., my
step=daughter, had also a son ; he was of
course my brother, and in the meantime.
my grandchild, for he was the son of my
daughter. My wife was my grandmoth
er, bemuse she was my mother's mother.
I was my wife's husband and grandchild
at the same time. And as the husband
of a person's grandmother is the grand
father, I was my grandfather." '
A SHORT SERMON.—To him that is at
ease in his possessions and surrounded with
all that can make life desirable, the
thought of death is not a welcome one.—
It is, nevertheless, true, that "it is appoin
ted unto man once to die." His brief span
of "three score years and ten," is soon
passed, and the waters of oblivion close
over him. Let him so live, that whatev
er his earthly possegdiont3, they may be as
nothing to his heavenly,—the crown of
life, the palm of victory, the new name,
the new Jerusalem, its walls of jasper, its
gates of peral, its streets of gold, - the riv
er of life, the amaranthine bowers, and
Him who is the light thereof! Shall earth
ly possessions, only for a brief period,da7,
zle our eyes and keep us from looking to
wards that "better country" where we
may enjoy a richer inheritance, not for
"three score years and ten," merely, but
through the countless ages of eternity
ettEErmwEss.--We believe that cheer
fulness can be, and ought to be, cultiva
ted by all ;. that kindness is most benefi
cially contagious ; that to carry good na
ture and a - wisely curbed temper with you
kg :le II 1 ••
you go ; that patience and forbearance in
, our-intercourse_with family_and friends
and community will always bring forth
the richest of social fruits ; that the trea
sure of good dceds achieved, the sufferings
assuaged, are worth infinitelyanore than
political• honors ; that the creation of joy
is inestimably better than the besetting
sin of borrowing trouble; and with Charles
Lamb, that "a laugh is worth a hundred
groans in any state of the market."
THE WEEPING Wnzow.—The follow
ing is the authentic and rather romantic
history of the drooping and mournfully
beautiful weeping willow :
"Alex Pope, the English poet, received
from the East a present of a basket of
Smurna figs. Among these he discover
ed a small green twig, and with a feeling
of tenderness and curiosity toward the del
icate gem which bad so singularly main
tained its vitality, he planted it in his own
garden at Twickenham. It soon grew to
be a large tree, and from this have sprung
all the weeping willows of England and
It is an old anecdote, but a good one,
which declares that a son of Erin's Isle,
wandering along one of the roads of Con
necticut, and meeting there a most pious
and solemn resident of that loCality, ask
ed him ; "An' plan your honor, will ye
be so kind as to tell where this road I'm
walkin' in lades to ?" was answered in de
liberate tones. "It leads to h--1;" and
Erin replied, "Fain, an' by the looks of
the country and its inhabitants I do be
thinking I'm most there."
discouraged sometimes by occasional gluts,
low prices, and over-production. Every
one must expect this ; hut it will gener
ally be found true that those farmers who
expect only fair profits, who aim to raise
gocd crops, by taking good care of a fair
supply of farm animals, and lay out a
good plan and stick to it,. year by year,
through good or evil, will, in the long run,
make the most money, over those who
shift their crops with every tide of specu
lation. There is nothing so good as hang
ing on to the, last.
At a negro camp-meeting, in Georgia,
the other day, the orator of the day, see
ing some of the members had whisky bot
tles in their pockets, said:
"Thar's some of these here bredderen
tryin' for to git into the kingdom. with a
whisky-bottle in thar pockets. The gite
of Heben's mighty narrer, bredderea ;
much as ever you is gwine to do to
squeeze in yourself: How does yer spect
yer gwine to git in thar with a whisky
bottle hung to yet?" A member asked
what they should do with them. "Bring
them right up to the pulpit," said the
speaker, "and I will offer dem as a sac-
rifice to the Lord." About a half-dozen
bottles were accordingly transferred to
the pulpit. The darkey gave a short ser
mon and then repaired to his tent, and
two hours after was so drunk that he
coirld'nt stand alone.
There is a sacredness in tears. They
are not the mark of weakness. but of pow
er. They speak more eloquently than
ten thousand tongues. They are the mes
sengers of grief, contrition, and. love,
In the intoxicating cup discontentseeks
for-comfort ; cowardice for courage ; bash
full new for confidence ;sadness for joy; and
they all find ruin.
Life is a sleep. Old men are those who
have slept the longest; they only login
to awaken when it is time to die.
No great and good man ever had a
mother who dressed in the height of fash
ion. .
$2,00 PER YEAR
ti 4414 . SuAtor.
Waste of col4-Ladies bluihing un
Isn't it queer that contractors shoultibe
employed to widen streets?
An old bachelor is a traveler on life's
railroad who / has entirely failed, to make
the proper connections.
One who has reflected: a good deal on
the lapse of ages -,prefers, j _ on the whole,
the age of seventeen,
A lady describing an ill-tempered man,
said, he never smiles but he feels asham
ed of it.
The quickest way for a man to forget
all common miseries is to wear tight
Why are married ladies like a scanty
harvest? Because they require husband- i
Sweedish brandy is flavored' with red
ants, but a fellow limit we know says he
has an aunt flavored with brandy.
Three Providence families hair° nam
ed theit cats ; Morgianna Longtail, Ific
oedemus Paachblossom, and Josephas Of
A young" „man in town, who is wrest
ling with his first mustache, proposes to
name it after two leading baseball clubs,
because there are nine no a side.
A sensible lady of mature years says
that it does not look well for a young law
yer to put his arm around a girl at a oir
cue and comb hm hair .with his ~fiugures.
Teacher to a Sunday School boy, "0,
you have an elder brother;
well how old.
is he Boy : "Dunn, Miss, but he's just
started o' swearing."
A man in " • left a boarding-hones
-just because a rat .• o ; his ear. When.
'people get be that . rkicular about tri
nes, they o ht to qui boarding and go
to keeping house.
Mr. Carver, doing the honors of his ta
ble, said to one of his guests, a fashiona
bly dressed girl of the period, "I see that
you have plenty. of breast, Miss, but do
have a little more dressing 1"
A Chicago merchant advertised a "boy
wanted," and before he got down town his
clerk met him, hreathless,"anditold him
his wife had twin boys. Ob, it pays to
A love lettered up in Springfield'
D., had the following paragrapb : "air
loved one, I chewed the postage stamp on
your last letter all to thunder, because I
knew you licked it on,"
Yon will notis one thing the devil sol
d= offers tew go into partnership with
a bizzy man, but you will often Pee him
offer tew jine the lazy man, And funth . k
all the kapital.
I live in Julia's eyes,' said an effeoied
dandy, in Coleman's hearing. "I don't
wonder at it," replied George, "since I ob
served that she had a Sty in them when I
saw her last.
In Hamilton, Ohio, a few days Since, a
fee of twenty-five cents was collected from
all persons who entered a church for the
purpose of witnessing a • marriage. The
money was
. given to the young couple to
start them in life. •
A gentleman having a sertant with' a
very thick skull, used often to call him
the king of fools. "I wish," said the fel
low one day, "you could make your words
good, as I should thon: i be the monarch of
the world."
An old colored washerwoman who used
to groan over her tubs, found 'consolida
tion in the hope, that, "she would soon be
where robes won't need washing, and a
poor creature can upset her tub and dance
on the bottom of it, singing glory, hulla
baloo, forever and forever!"
It is reported that a somewhat jnve-'
nile dandy said to a fair partnerita ball:
"Miss' dont you think my, .inoustacheEi
are becoming ?" •
"Well, sir, they may be coming but
.they have.not yet arrived.
A St. Louis girl broke her neck, while
attempting to prevent a young man from
kissing her. brace then it has been an
easy tusk to kiss St Louis ‘ girla—they are
gentle and quiet as lambs. If any. young
men dont believe it, they can go and try
Josh Billings says "Most • melt: will
concede that it looks foolish to see a boy
draggin' a heavy sled up hill for the fleet
in' pleasure of ridin' down again. But
it appears to me that the boy is a sage
by the side of a young man who works
hard all week and drinks up his wages
on Saturday night.' .
If wk is bad in age, what. must it be
in youth.
An .Irishman calls his sweetheart "Hon
ey," because she is "bee-loved."
Why is a good husband like dough ?
Doughn't you know? Why, it is because
a woman needs him.
Dogs are represented to be the most
tslallful, dentists. They insert teeth.