The Forest Republican If pnMIihod every Wodnntdny, bf J. E. WENKt Office in Smearbaugh & Co.'i Building; ELM BTUEKT, TIONE8TA, PA. 1'orina, . Ol.nol'or Yonr, No subscription received for a shorter period limn throo months. Correspondence aolMtel from All parts of Hit eouutry. No noilo will be taken of tinonymous ooiniuualoallou. RATES OF ADVERTISING! One Square, one inch, one inertlon..$ I 00 On. Square, one Inch, one month. . . 8 0O One Pquare. one inch, three month. . 6 00 One Square, one inch, one year,,. 1000 Two ISquares, one year,... Quarter Column, one year l 00 half Column, oue year .. BOOO One Column, one year 100 00 Leenl advertisements ten cent, per line each insertion. Marriages and deth notions (rrati. All bill, for yenrly advertisement, collected quarterly Tempiirary advertisement, must be paid in advance. Job work cash on delivery. For EPU CAN. VOL. XXIX. NO. 33. TIONESTA, PA., WEDNESDAY, DEC. 2, 1896. S1.00 PER ANNUM. R Mr. Glndatouo haa boon giving I lfT" In tl.o V.,Ui. fnlVa TT - I tbnt they ft.ro tbo most musical people in tbo world. Tbe number of cities with more than 100,000 inhabitants ia exactly the j name twenty-aoven inUoruiony ana tbo UniteJ States. Tbe statistician of tbo Horseshotrs' Protective Association shows that, deipite the bicyole craze, there are more horses in tbe country than ever. Agriculture furnished sixty-three per oeut, of total Unitod States ox ports in eight months ended August 31, a slightly smaller proportion than a year before. Tbo anniversary of the coronation of the Sultan of Turkey was cele brated the other dny. From signs in the air it may be tbe last, predicts tho New Orleans Picavnne. v Tbo total number of failures for the first nine months of 1890 was tbo largest on record and exceeded the number of tbe worst nine months of tho ponie year, 1893. Tbo statistics tbow that the British Empire not only purchases more of our goods than any other country, bnt also soils us a larger proportion of tbe goods we buy than any other. Ths Legislature of Vermont ia com posed of 120 farmers, forty storekeep ers, fourteen lawyers and the rest "scattering" notablo preponder ance of farmers und eoaroity of law yers. A great many studenta live in Now Haven, Conn., and take tbo full ool lego coimo at Yale on three hundred dollars per annum, whioh inolodea board aad room for forty weeki and free tuition. Is thcie a conspiracy against the pupils of the Indian sohools? aska the Chicago Reoord. The Government baa just ordered for them 68,000 pounds of dried poachea, 75,009 pounds of dried applea and 82,000 pounds of prunes! llenccforth horseshoeing tnust bo ranked among tho professions, an nounces tho New York Tribune, At any rate no one is to be permitted to engage in this vooation without bar ing submitted to an examination be fore a board of experts representing the State. The shoeing of a horse ia a nice job, and many a tine animal has been ruined by a bungler. The ap pointment of Statejexeminere stnaoks of paternal government, but the en actment of tho now law seems to be Tiewed with considerable favor by owners of horsos. Commenting on the recent launch of heavily-armed United States "rev enue cutter" for use on the great lakes, the Montreal Gazette says that in this matter tbo English and tbe American Governments "are in about the same position. They have both gone as far as tho limitations of the treaty will allow, and it is evident that in the case of Gresham the United StatesGoverument is Bailing very olose to the wind. It is, of oourse, perfeotly fair and right that each Government should tnako adequate arrangements for the protection of the fisheries and kindred purposes; but whoever goeaa step further ia no friend either of the Dominion of Canada or of the United States." In the Postmaster General's report or tho last fitcul year a number of in teresting figures are giveD, showing tbe cost of our enormous mail system. The total expenditures for the y?ar aggregated (90,020,269, against re. oeipts amounting to only $82,499,208 These figures reveal a deficit ol $8, 127,088, which, however, is less than the shortage for the year preceding by $1,679,950. The report further show that 4,18-1,327 special delivery letters passed through the mails during the year. The average time required for the delivery of these letters was only seventeen minutes. Tbe net profit of the system for the year was aume where in tbe neighborhood of $100, 000, Tbe number of postage stamps, stamped envelopes and postal cards issued during the year reached the enormous sum of 4,195,605,523, show ing an increase of seven per cent, over the preceding year. The value of this entire supply is fixed at $79,178,101, or $740,000 less than actual sales. Tbe iucreuKo of second class mail matter vm nearly twelve per cent, during the year. Tbo total weight of all tbe bundles was 349,000,000 pounds. The total number of registered packages teut through the mails was 15,106,330. Some idea of the vast proportions of cur postal systemmay be derived from the foregoing figures. mwm At tie gateway of the wlutor now comes Thanksgiving lido, Ia the glory ot its atmosphere, Its pie anil turkey pride. And It Is most becoming that its choersbould far and wide abound, E'en going to the humblest home where'er It may be found. In olden time Thanksgiving was for harvos poor or good, Tbe corn, the pumpkin, wheat, and all thnt gave a livelihood. For poor returns the Pilgrims hold up their hearts in praise, Far greater should our thanks bo that live In these glorious days. Then welcome bo Thanksgiving with Its manifold feasts and Joys; Under many a homestead roof now gather the girls and boys; And though some of ub fail somnwbnt in harvests whoro we strive, We should be thankful for our hopes, and that we are alive. Then poss around the turkey, tho mlnco and npplo pies; Don't slight (he poor and ncody if In wisdom you'd be wise. To relieve distress our people have only to be told, For Lord be thanked tbe human heart is yot as Rood as gold! Edward 8. Cream1. A Thanksgiving Rescue. CY OEOKOK L. HrLMER. N the height of a terrible blizzard of snow and elect lrto on Thanks giving Eve, 1889, tbe propeller Calu met, from Buffalo for Mil wauket with eighteen son la on board, came to grief on (tor my Michigan. Some dsva before. whilo steaming :jp Detroit River from Lake Erio to St. Clair, she had burst her seams by running npon a sunken anchor in tho shallows. The leak proved eo threatening that Skipper Green put in at Detroit, patched up the injury and took aboard a wreck ing pump in tbe hope of keeping his vessel auoat until she wonld reach her destination. All wont well until the Calumet left the straits of Muckinoo and entered Lake Miohigan. Then the storm broko in all its fury and the tnermomoter dropped suddenly to twenty degrees below the freezing point. A tremendous sea was Btirred up by tbo gale and the steamer, labor lug in a cross sea, pitohed and rolled u viuiuiiwy mat ner timbers were strained and the wounied seams opened afresh. With all the pumps working ni meir mil oapaoity the ship con tinutd to fill and soon got beyond control of her master. However, she matie the vicinity of Milwaukee not long niter darkness oame on Thanks giving Eve, going Quite easilv before the gale as slio lhaped her course for the harbor. Rut the weather was ao tblok that, cvou olose up, the keen eyed wntohman oould not make out tbe harbor lights. In the omergeuoy Captain Green dooidod to head for Chicago. Tbo ship a course was, therefore, changod again, bringing her onoo more iuto a violent croEs Bea. To add to tbo cv Is of tho situation the wrcckiug pump, noon whioh all do pendod, gave out at the very moment when it was most needed. The water gained rapidly on the ordinary ship's pump, so Hint H became ouiy a quea tiou of time, and a very short time at that, when the Oalumat would go down in tho docp waters of the lake. There vas au alternative, frightful to think of, bnt yet preforablo to foundering beyond all reach of aid. That was to take obauces and beach tbe helpless (hip. l'mting on steam tho oaptain headed for land and tho vessel grounded easily U'OO yards from tho bluffs oppo site Tort Sheridan, Illinois. It was then half-past 10 o'clock at night. One danger still threatened, that was that the lilting and pounding of the terri ble Boas would break the vessel to pieces, bit by bit, before daylight and tucoor should come. Although heavy with the water in tho hold and her full cargo, still she moved. In order to steady her tho captain opened all the valves in tho bottom so that she Bile 1 completely and rested like a huge rook in the sand. What a prospect those cighteoen helpless men had be fore them for that long and terrible nigbt. Xbe waves beat upon every part of the sbip, tbe thermometer was still falling and the decks and rails and ci.biu roofs were covered with ioe from the freezing sprny. There were boats on board, those frail skiffs car ried opou lake steamers, but to have risked lives in tbeui iu tbnt terrible .pea wonld have been madnes.". The life-saving station nearest the soene of the wreck is at Evanstou, 111., twelve miles from Fort Sheridan. It is a station of the United States coast lifeguard, under a regular keeper ex perienced iu the perilous duty, but tho crew consists of volunteers from among the students of the Northwest ern AcAdemy. At the time of the wreck Keeper Lawrence O. Lawson was in charge of tbestatinn and tbe following six volun teer surfuieu were subject to his call : George Crosby, William E. Ewiug, Jacob Loiuiu;.', W." L. Wilson, F. M. Koudig and Thomas M. Webb. Soon after midnight Keeper Lawson re ceived u telegram from Highluud l'urk, 1 Baying: "Thore is a large steamer ashore off Fort Sheridan. Come I" Lawson hurried to the railway station and nuked what time the next train would go north. "Not boforo 7.30 a. m.," was the reply. There was one chance loft, a very faint one consider ing the terror of tho night. Thinking that there might be an extra freight train on tbe road Lawson wired the dispatcher at Chicago and learned that an extra, or "wildcat train," would pass Evanston about 2 o'clock. Stating the urgency of tho case, ho obtained an ordor to flag it and place his life-saving apparatus and crew on board. Tbe train proved to be made up of loaded box cars and there were no empty ones at hand to carry the lifeboat. Tbe next resource was livery teams to haul tho boat twelve miles by sleigh. Fortunately a liveryman was found who was loss considerate for horscflosh tbau for human lives, lie provided stout teams for the boat and Lawson with the six surfraen who were to bear tbe hardships of the enter prise boarded the train. A hot journal caused a delay of an hour and it was 4 o'clock when the party reaohed tbe fort. A guide who had hrst sighted the steamer by her lights conducted the life-savers toward tbo bluff op posite the wreck. Confused by the darkness and blinding fitorm, the THE guide lost his way and an hour was passed beatiug up and down the bluff for a pathway to tbe water's edge. The bluff at that point is seventy feet high, very precipitous and cut up by ravines, tilled nith trees and nuderbrusb. Several ravines were exploded before one was found stiitablo for operation?. This was prepared by tbe aid of sev eral soldiers from tho fort who had been aroused by tho steamor's whistles of distress. Some fifty men set to work with axes, hewing away tho trees to make a slide for the boat. The stiff, hard clay was alto pared down to give the frail boat a safe passage way, for the craft so stanch and ser viceable on tho water are iu danger of being stove by coming iu contact with rough obstacles when under motion. A hugo tire wus kindled to lighten up the scone ; it also served as a beaoou to the imperiled Bailors who knew by that that their case was known. Everything was ready when the boat 'HUH THE LIPEUOAT AUBIVES. arrived, drawn by stcamiug, foaming horses, at 7 o'clock. It was then light enough to make out the plight of the meu on the ill-fated Calumet. They were seen huddled iu aud about the pilot house, the only place of refugo, for the steamer was submerged to the main deck. Moreover, she wn liter ally a ship of ice, having been deluged for ten hours with water that lett layer upon layer wherever it struck. The poor follows on bourd were motionless, apparently frozen to their tracks and too far gone to give any sign of joy at the promised delivery. Indeed, with the best of luck it seemed a hopeless ease. Snow was still falling and the dis tance to tbe wreck seemed less than it roally proved to be, for when a tiOJ yard line was seut wbirliug toward it from the lino-tbrowiug gnu it fell far short. Daylicibt had shown tho life savers a terrible surf lushing tte foot of the bluff, and with line and buoy to depend upon no one thought ot venturing the boat in tbul dangerous sea. Rut true bravery fa-es dunger when it must for some noble cause. To the astouibhmtut of the spectator 4i and of the eoldiora, who tried to dis suade them, the gallant student orew, after a tow aeoonds' conference with tho keoner, moved silently toward the boat, which lay on its carriage at the head of the slide. They would take the awful risk. With the help of the soldiers the boat was eased down the slide without acoident, but on reach ing the boach it was found necessary to drag it along a narrow shelf to a point directly abreast ol the wreck for launching. This oould only be done by watching tho breakers and avoiding their foroo. As it was, the surfmon were often waiut deep in tbe water, and several narrowly escaped being oarriod away by the powetful eurf. Three times tho boat filled and had to be cleared of water. Again tbe boat would bo snatched Irom the control ot the men and hurled against the cUff, and waB only saved from disaster by finding a buffer iu tho bodios of the surfmen ranged along the inshore gunwale. These sustained several bruises, and, like their mates on the opposite side of tbe boat, were drenohed with the icy water. Finally the boat was brought to a suitable point for launching a depression in tbo beach where the surf was lightest. The crew sprang to their seats and fixed their oars, while the soldiers held the boat steady for a favorable sea. RESCUE. Gallantly the lifeboat rode tbe break ers until she came to a sand bar over which tho waves broke with tremen dous power. An immense breaker lift ed tho boat upon her stern and almost threw Keeper Lawson, who was at the steering car, overboard. Refore he could reoover and head the boat to sea a second wave Btruck ber broadside and filled her to tbe thwarts. The stroke oarsman dropped bis pad die for the bailing bucket and his five mates, by pulling for tboir lives, straggled through tho breakers. During these interruptions the powerful current had swept the boat far out to the leeward, compell ing the gallant aurfmen to row in tbe teeth of the gale. It was then that tbe anxious watchers on the bluff lost all hope and wished that their warning had not been in vain. It seemed an impossibility for the life boat either to reach the wreek or return to shore. Every wave left a coating ot ioe wher ever it struck upon the gunwales, the oars and the clothing of the men. Tbe rowlocks gradually filled with ioe and tho oais were constantly slipping from them, dissipating half tboir foroe. Rut the difficulties of their task only served to nerve the men to greater ef fort. True enthusiasm is intensified by opposition. It wants its way and will risk all to get it. Tbo life savers were there to do or die. Heroes of the battlefield may take off their hats to the storm warriors of the lake and sea coasts and bail them aa comrades. Tbo faithful annals of the life-saving service, from whioh these facts ere taken, have on record a thousand in stances of forlorn hope rescues, or at tempts at rescue, carried through to the bitter end, for every one case of shirking peril. Not a murmur or a regret passed the lips of these boy heroes, although every one who watched their struggles with tbe ele ments bclievod that a frightful double disaster was imminent ; that the life boat would go down with its noble orew and the wrecked sailors freeze to death before other aid could reach them. The men on the wreck, with every incentive to hope against hope, gave themselves up for lost when they saw what a plaything the waves made of the gallant life boat. Ry almost superhuman efforts tho oarsmen recovered the ground lost in the breakers and drew up under the stern of the Calumet. That portion of the vessel was wholly under water so that tbe sailors could not go aft and take a line from the boat. The seas broke iu awful turmoil around the bow of tho steamer but after many efforts Keeper Lawson tossed a line iuto tho hauds of the cuptuin. Then came tho difficulty, attended with ex treme peril for all, of getting the half frozen fellows into tho life boat. At lust six of them were on board and supplied with life preservers. Then a start was made for shore. With its heuvy freight the boat wus allowed to go with tho current, which lauded it without acoident a quarter of a mile from the point of starting. Alter beatiug the icy armor from their clothing the orew warmad themselves with hot cotlee and again started for the boat, which the soldiers had dragged along the beach to the wind wurd of the wreck. It is needless to recount the details of tbe second and tbird trips to and from the steamer. Tbe same fearful difficulties were met and overcome; again and again the life craft eoemed to be doomed as eho stood almost up right when mounting the huge crest of a breaker or Bank out of eight in the hollows botweon the angry waves. With the accumulations of ice on her sides she looked like a monster canoe hewn from an ioeberg. Rut the pluck of the brave boys novor relaxed until the last of the eighteen shipwrecked men was safe ashore. On tho third and final trip, however, when the boat struck tho beach, tho danger being over and tho stimulus to action re moved, their young and slender frames gave way. Dropping their oars they fell helpless aoross the seats. When aroused by the soldiers and lifted from the boat their limbs were so weak and benumbed that they could not stand without support. Hot coffee and tbe warmth of the beach fire soon restored animation but they roached the fort in worse condition by far than those whose lives they had saved. A few hours later, the excitoment on shore having died out, eyes were turned to ward the abandoned wrock. It had disappeared, all exoepting the etem and stern posts, having been complete ly broken up by the pounding of the son. Rut for the heroic students every man on board must have per ished. And their gallantry did not go unnoticed. Tbe gold medal of tbe service, the highest award of tho Gov ernment and one given with great discrimination, was granted each of the Burtmon and to their captain, 'this was the second case in the history of tbe service where an entire crew of volunteer life savers received the gold medal. Up to that date only two or three regular crews bad boon so high ly honored. When the tables were spread in the warm barracks kitchen of Fort Sheri dan that afternoon there were eight een grateful strangers reclining upon their hospital cots around the Thanks giving board eighteen unexpected but for all that thrice welcomed Thanksgiving guests. A IHAJiKSUIYIXG GAME. An Interesting; Diversion to Pass a Few Hours Pleasantly. Usually in the Thanksgiving gather ing together of families there are a host of young folk who need to enter tain themselves. One gamo requires children who are "up" in geography J still, if need be, it is a lesson iu tho disguise of pleasure. The game pro ceeds after this fashion : A map is held by the judge, usually a grown person or an older child ; then, too, children are chosen and placed in sep arate corners. Says the judge : "Now, Carrie, you represent New York in this corner, and Richard, you are in Moscdw imprisoned ; you want to get away and reach home by 1 hanks' giving Day. You have gotton from behind the walls but what is your most direct route home I Then Richard has to toll each eea, country and ocean he crosses to got homo for the turkey and cranberry sauce. If he can't do it successfully be must remain right on the spot on tbe floor where he stopped until ho thinkB out his escape. Other members of the game are placed in prisons at various parts of the oountry. Soon the room becomes filled with prisoners, all trying to get home; half of them are "stalled" iu tbe cen tre trying to think of the boundary line whioh brings freedom, others are just leaving the prison wallp. When the game has been played frequently those who join in got very familiar with the junction of oountries and learn many straight lines and clever jumps that had not appeared feasible before. For those who are not quite conversant with' geography easy tasks are given ; for lustauoe, to be placed in a Paris prison an 1 find their way homo to Roston. New York Press, TCKKEV TALK. The eagle has tho luu'h on the turkey at Thanksgiving time. Only tho sultan believes that uo one oould ever have too much turkey. "Sometimes," said Uuelo Eben, "de houses dat has do bigges' iuui'lios an' do littles' tuhkey seems tor hab de mos' Thanksgibbiu' in 'em." All summer long the barnyard hoar I Tbe turkey's brag and boatt, And now they're giurt that bumptubus bird Uu all sides gots a roat: The Goose "What's the difference between the Easter girl aud the Thanksgiving turkey?" Tho Turkey "I dunno. The Uooso "Why, one is dressed to kill aud the other is killed to dress." "My dcur," said the female turkey to her noble spouae, "what ia your opinion of the Thanksgiving procla mation?" "Stuff!" "Then what would you have said?" "Gobble, gobble, gobblel" aud the sad but pompous fowl strutted across tbe street. The turkev Is not a Drlillaut bird, Whou all U doQH and euid, For ou all groat oeoaslons llo's surd to Icae lii bt3 td. A Dream of TlMukglviii(r. ' " V 'r 'ft 1 1 nun 10- ... At midnight In his guarded cop The Turk lay dryitimti of the hour. Itevcuiro Is Street. ... Small Roy "I won't do a thing to you Thanksgiving; oh, no!" Truth. THASKSGIYISU Tl'RKEY. A Kentucky Turkey Pen Ships Thirty Thousand Birds to Market. Few of us who visit around tbo Thanksgiving board panso to think of the vast number of turkeys that are necoBsary to supply tbo demand on this National holiday. The origin of tbe turkey iJ lost in tho traditions of the red man, who hunted the wild bird long before tho pale faoe had domesticated it or made the famous proposition, after a clay u hunt, in whioh a buzzard and a wild turkey constituted tho amount of game killed. "Now you take the buzzard and I'll take the turkey, or I'll take tho turkey and you take the buzzard." And thereupon the maxim arose ; "Ho nevcir said turkoy to me once." This favorite bird, which is an American production, when properly combined with tbe necessary auxili aries ot oysters, roasted chostnnts, cranberry eauce and the Bucoulent celery, cjnkes a savory dish, in tho full praise ot which all words ignomia iously fail. The following figures from au inland Kentucky town, one of many whioh holp to supply the oity markets with Thanksgiving turkeys, will give some little idea of tho extent ot this branch of industry, and ot the methods em ployed to prepare tho turkey for the markot and the cook. The youug brood of turkeys is to the farmer's wife her chief source of revenuo for the autumn and winter, therefore she guards them through the dangers attondant on turkeyhood with zeaiotis cure, aud usually drives a shrewd bargain later with tho buyer, who begins his riding through the country as Thanksgiving approaches. Turkovs ore generally bought on foot, and tho prices range from four to five cents a pound. The flocks are driven to the turkey pens from the different farms. If tho distanoe is a long ono, and nigbt comes on beforo tho pens are reached, the turkeys go to rooat at suudown, wherever it may happen to bo, and despite all efforts of the driver to urgo it on. Turkeys are kept iu enclosed pens until they ore ready to be killed, bat geese are pastured out on meadows, and are watched by small boys, who, with long stioks, keep them from straying out of bounds. Ducks, geese and chickens are gon erally shipped alive to the citios, but turkeys are usually killed and dressed for the market, Tbey aro not fed for some twelve hours before killing, and after being picked and cleaned are put on cooling boards for another twelve hours beforo tboy are packed in cases for shipment. Two thousand turKeys or more constitute a carload. In the turkey houso aro a row of boxes with both ends open and nar rowing toward tho lower end. These are fiiHteuod along the side of the wall, and into them tho turkeys are thrust, head downward, until their heads und necks protrude through tho lower opening. Thou the "sticker," with a sharp knife, goes along tho hue and cuts tbe throats of each bird, leaving it to bleed to death, while a trough underneath it carries off the blood. The turkey's wings are confined by tbe si, lea of tho box so that it cannot flutter or struggle, and death does not seem to bo painful to it. When tbe turkey is dead, the winge and tail feathers are cut oil and the body is seut to the picking room where a number of men, women and children are employed. The turkey i suspend ed from a twine cord, aud tbe picker nimbly uses both hands, literally mak iu? "the feathers ily." From two to four thousand turkeys nre picked a day, aud a skillful hand can averago fifty or sixty each. Three cents a; ieca is paid for picking a tur key. Not much of the fowl is thrown away. The wings aro saved and are sold' for fans and other things, the tail feathers are sent to factories where feather dusters are made, ths quills are ground into pulp aud then pressed iuto artificial whalebone, and the loose feathers are used for various purposes. When the dressed turkey reacho tbe market the prices fluctuate any where from two aud a half to fifteen ceuts a pound, so that the business it ot attvuys a paying one. Ftom tweuty "to thirty thousand tur ki'-vs ate killed each season aud sent from ibis one turkey pen, and th reader may judge from these figures how great a number is required to supply the Thr.uksgiving board throughout tLo ojuutry with its great Nutional dish. Ai ISciu by Hi in. Tbe old gobbler looked dreuuily nwuv ovir tho buok-yurd fouoe. "Yen." A shudder mq through his frame. "they aro bringing out all our family slteletous these days." A glrtuee at the de'oiU from the din ner t ibia showed that this was only too true. BABY'S DUE MS. What dreams, where memory has no share, A freo from fear as void of care, Fill thoso young sleeping eyes? What dream?, whero dreams can have te words, Llko flights of lovely unknown birds In silence sluk or rise The baby's dreams ars soorota s.if.i llowe'er wo watch tho dro imland wait, Or question whon sh) wakos. She only knows (returned once more) Tho wave that brings her to our shoro In kisses soltly breaks. Hl'MOIt OK THE J).IY. "What made yon laugh so iramodor atelyat Slowgo's poor joke?" "Why, this is tho third time he has got it off oa me." Chicago Record. Robby "Your Bigu says, 'sod' wator; all the flavors, five ceDt.' Druggist "Yes; which do you wish' Robby"! wont 'em all." Puck. Teddy "1 tell you it's so. Nellio "I say it is not." Teddy-"Well, mamma says it's bo ; and if mamma says it's so, it's so even if it isn't so." Harper's Round Table. "Higby is going to lecture on Tbo Finance of Other Countries.'" "What's that for?" "Because tho finances of this country are too much for him." Chicago Record. "Gentlemen, "said tho orator, "thi crisis will soon be nt an end." "Thank goodness," murmured an au ditor; "bo's going to eto; talking." Philadelphia North American. Mr. Hojaok "Miss Teuspot must bo surpassingly beautiful." Mr. Tomdik "Indeed 1 What makes yoii think bo?" "She looks well even iu an amateur photograph." Life. Teacher ".nything is called trans parent that can be seen through. What scholar cau give au example?" Robby "Do bole iu de fenoe rouud de baseball park." Norristown Herald. Farmer's Wife" "I bopejyou are not afraid of work?" Tramp vuneasily) "I ain't exactly afraid, mum, but ( always feels fidgety when there's any thing 1 ko that about." Roston Trav eler. Magistrate "If you were innocent, why did you ruu away the moment the policemau appeared?" Pat "Becaze, yer houor, tbim oops do be always aristiu' the wrong man." Horper'd Razar. . The Fiauoee "I'm surprised at youl I Baw you flirting with her!" The Fiance "I swear, Priscillu, you are mistaken ! Beauty has no charms. never had any charms for me!" Puck. Cashier (at bauk) "You will have to bring some one to identify you beforo we can cash this check. Got any friends in the towu?" Stranger "No; I'm the dog liceusu mau." Comic Cuts. "I am sorry I bought one of those door mats with 'Welcome' on it." "Why so?" " jomo stupid fellow mis took the meaning of the word and helped himself to it the first night." Cleveland Plain Dealer. Wasted Sarcasm ; Brutal Father "My dear, can't you do anything to stop that child's crying?" Indignant Wife (sarcastically) "1 might cut its throat," Rrutal Fathor "That's a good idea. Now, I never would havo thought of that. Do so by all means." Harlem Life. Food fur Your Pet Bird. "For a'ohango, foreuuarios and other birds," said an experienced raiser of birds, "nothing is better food than the various kinds of grasses whioh are now going to seed. Around any grass plots rau bo found grass which has gono to seed. This is a natural food for birds at this season of the year, and it should be freely given them. The birds will relish the change very much, and it will improve them in plumage and song. They are tired of the ordinary seeds, wbieh are good enough when there are no others, but now seed of every kind is in profusion, and needs only to be picked up. "The pepper grass is now in full seed, and it is a great bracer for the feathered pets, and especially for canaries. Birds like green stuff at all times, but are specially fond of grass seeds of any kind. My experience is that no mistake cuu bo made, and that a bird never cuts uny te d that it does not like aud that is not good for it." Tbe Feather. Tlio Surgeon an I football. Even somo of the physicians seem to bo jealous guardians of the harmless ness of football. The half back of the Williams College team has for some timo been suffering, even to delirium, with oougobtion of the brain, though he is now much better and in rt ported out of danger. Uis doctor, however, says bis sickness was not due to his in juries received ou tho football field, but to tho complete relaxation which followed his rctire'ueut to Nortlt Adams to recover irom a sprained ankle. Tbo mora! of this seems to be, not that football ia dangerous, but to beware ot relaxation. At tbe Irish man said wheu picked up with a few brokeu bones: wasn't tho fall that hurted me, but stoppiu' so sud den." Boston Trun script. A Suuke I'p a Tree. Jeremiah Coyle, of llomosvillo, had an encounter w ith u large blacksuake ou tbo mountain ubovu Frog Hollow jestorduy. Ho was out for chestnuts, and started to climb a tree laden with tempting looking burrs. Halt way up be was startled by seeing tbe suuke not Ibree feet away, uwiugiug to aud fro from a slender brunch, aud evidently repuriug to spring. C'oyle braced himself iu a notch of the tree, aud burled the hatchet he carried at the .winging reptile with deadly accuracy, severing tho htad from tbe writbiug body. Shuuiokiu (I'euu.) Dispatch.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers