r The Forest Republican j Is published every Wednesday, r,y ' J. E. WENK. Offloa la Smearbaugh & Co.'i Building ELM STREET, TI0NE8TA, PA. Termi, 0 l.oo Per Vear. ' No sobsnrlpllons received for a shorter period thnn three months. Correspondence solicited from all parti of the country. Mo notice will be taken of nnonymous oommnaloations. RATES OF ADVERTISING I One Square, one Inch, one insertion..! iff)! One Fquare, one inch, one nionth. . . 8 00 One Fquare. one inch, three months. . 6 00 One Fquare, one inch, one year 10 00 Two Squares, one year 15 0O Quarter Column, one year SO 00 Half Column, one year.., 0 00 One Column, one year 100 00 Leal ailrertiseroente ten cents per line each insertion. llerrtages and death notices gratis. All bills for yearly ad vejtisemonts collected1 quarterly Temporary advertlseuwuts muss be paid in advance. Job work cash on delivery. Fore REPUBLICAN. VOL. XXIX. NO. 20. TIONESTA, PA., WEDNESDAY, NOV, 4, 1890. 81.00 PER ANNUM. An effort will be made to cultivate the Mar beet in the South. Texas is harder on shoe leather "per ttapita" than any othor State in tho Union. . . Professor Graham Boll's olaim that he "can talk a million miles on a sun beam" rounds to the Chicago Reoord like TtioonnhiDe. The common belief that fine whits bread contains less nutriment than coarse brown broad is a mistake. So says M. Qirard, the eminent Frcnoh chemist. Tho German law now requires that 'contracts for futures in agricultural products be made a pnblio reoord, and aubjeots all dealers in futures to a substantial tax. The law is intended to entiroly suppress speculative deal logs in produce. Says the American Agriculturist: "We boliove none of the reports to the savings banks commissioners of our Middle States classify the occupa tions of their depositors and borrow ers. It would be highly interesting to have these facts, as without them it is not possible to tell to what ex tent agriculturists avail themselves of the savings banks. At the congress of the deaf mntes lately held in Geneva, the surprising faot was developed that those unfor tunates in general disapprove of the comparatively new labial system ot instruction which in many sohoola has keen substituted for the old method ot digital signs. Many speakers, employ ing the latter method, argued very luoidly against the innovation. Only one advocated it. The majority said that the reading of the lips never gives to the doaf mute an exact idea of the thought or sentiment which it is desired to express. It is to them very :mtoh as the reading of a doad language is to those who oan hear, but can only vaguely understand it. The digital language, thoy deolarod, was that whioh was most natural to deaf mutes. These views are a great dis appointment to many who have sup posed that the teaching of the labial system was one of the greatest booms ever bestowed npon those who can neither hear nor talk. The distinguished scientist, Lord Kelvin, who has been termed tho "prince of living physicists," has placed on reoord this confession : "One word characterizes the most strenuous of the efforts for tho ad vancement of soience that I have mado perseveringly for fifty-five years ; that word is failure. I know no more ot eleotrio and magnetic force, or ot the relations between ether, electricity and ponderable matter, or of chemical affinity, than I knew and tried to teach my students fifty yoars ago, in my first session as professor." Yet Light ning, a London paper, suggests that Kelvin's failures may may be more fruitful than some men's successes. It likens the modern physicist's humility to that ot the great Newton when he compared himself to a child playing on the beaob, and adds : "The riddle of the nniverse is soaroely nearer being solved now than it was in 1690, and if our mathematical tools are better tempered than those then used, they Lavo tougher metal to out." 1 Spain is having her hands full with her colonios, exclaims the New York Independent. In addition to the war in Cuba there is considerable disturb ance, in Puerto liioa, but more serious still is tho revolt in the Philippine Islands. For years these have been a souroo ot muoh revenue to the home Government and very little expense. The exports ot tobacco and homp, as well as of coffee, ootton' eto., have been very hoavy, and the Government has been a curious mixture of Spanish despotism and local self-government. The original inhabitants have almost disappeared ; and the Malays, who have to a great degree taken their place, are for the most part quiet, in dustrious, inoffensive people. Of late years numbers of Chiuese have como in from Hongkong, and thoy and the Mestizoes (ohilJren of Chinese fathers and Malay mothers) form tho most aggressive element. A number of these, it is supposod, in connection with filibusters from Hongkong and secret sooieties in Japan, perhaps brought over from Formosa, have taken advantage of the small number of Spaniards aud tho weak garrison at Manilla, have.raibed a revolt, an 1, so fur as oan be learned from the meaner dispatches, have seriously eudaugerod the Spanish rule. Troops have been sent from Barcelona, but it will be gome time bofore thoy cau reach their destination. Merchant bavo been warneJ agaiust shipping goo Is to the Philippines, aud a British wui nbip re mains at Manilla to protect British subjects. THROUGH F1ELD3 OF CORN. In solemn hush of dewy morn, What glory orowns the fields of eornl A joy and gladness in the land The lithe, green ranks ot beauty stand; Broad-aored vales from hill to hill The lifted plumes and tnssels fill, While birds sins; In the cool, sweet morn Through fields ot corn. Like palms that shade a hidden spring The reeded oolumns sway and sing; The breathing oensers swing a. way, The loafy cymbals clash and play, And when the breeay voices salt, The sea-grown billows rise and fall, And music swells and Joy Is born Through fields of corn. To fields of oorn the summer brings The rustling blades, theblaokblrd's wing, Tbe sharded locust's strident tune, And Idle ravoa's mocking rune, The bobolink's exalting strain, ! And ouckoo prophesying rain In low, sweet whistle In the morn Through fields of corn. In bannered fields ot corn unfurled God grows the manna of the world; Ho waits to bring the yellow gleam, Tbe harvest song, the reaper's dream; And still as through the Syrian gold Of Gullloe, in days of old. He loads again this Sabbath morn Through fields of corn. Benjamin F. Loggott. TWO HEARTS' NEGATIONS. BY FRANCIS II. WVlNaSTON. IBYLLA ASHLEY tat at her desk and shinned a let ter she had just finished. It was written in a fine, deoided hand, on pale gray paper. in romances which Sibylla had read, the compo sition of such let' ters was attended with much agony and littering of the floor with torn paper. Sibylla had made one draft, which it took her five minutes to write. She read it over once and it seemed to suit her, for she folded and addressed it, and then oallod, in her low, musi' cal voice, "Letty I" A young girl appeared at the door almost instantly, she was tall as Hi' bylla, but had not her snberb fignre. One saw at a glance, however, that they wero Bisters. "I want Joe, Letty," said Sibylla as she pressed the envelope on her blot ting pad. - "Joe drove grandfather into town this morning," replied the yonoger girl. "Call Absalom then. I want to send a letter." "Absalom has a boil on his foot and can't walk," Sibylla made a gesture of impatienoe, "There is Chrissy," said Letty, tentatively. "I won't have her; she bungles everything. It is very provoking that I can rind nobody to do so simply an errand. Sibylla rose and walked to the win dow, where she stood looking moodily out upon a lawn that was better kept than the lawns of most Virginia coun try bouses. Letty stood in meek silenoe as though the had done her sister a personal injury. "Well, send her tiere; l suppose she'll have to do," said Sibylla, after a moment, in a slightly modified tone, Letty ran down stairs to do her sis ter's biddingrwitu her usual alacrity Sibylla drew the letter from its onve lope and read it a second time. It ran thus: "Julien: It simply cannot be. do not love yon as 1 ought. I have known this for a losg time, and I huvo honestly tried to feel differently, but l cannot, lou in not a man whom a woman Bhould h ire to try to love. Think well of me if you oan, for I have been honest with you. You would be exousable for despising me, perhaps, but you will do nothing ol the kind. lou will remain my faith ful and respected friend, as I shall yotir oiBYXLA Ashley. The swift, straight dash nuder the (signature was drawn with Sibylla s ao customed firmness. She realed her letter, and, looking np, saw a little colored girl standing bashfully in the doorway. The child was barefooted and 'her dingy frock was in tatters. sho held a disreputable old straw hat by its one string. A frown gathered upon Sibyll's brow. "You little beggar, have yon no better oiothes thun those? Mercy, what a messenger I" and Sibylla burst out lauglun? in spite of herself. Chrissy was in dire confusion. '"Deed I has, Miss S'bylla; shall I put em on? "Yes, do, for heaven s sake try to make yourself decent aud clean. wont you to carry a letter for me. If you sucoeed, Mies Letty will givo you that little gray garden coat of mine, lou must hurry. "Oh. Miss S'bylla!" cried tho child and in a moment she was stumbling down the staircase. In a short time she was back again, Her face nrd hands were clean and her tangled kinks had been combe J into something like order. Tbe torn. soiled garment had been replaced by a neat pink frock, and Sibylla garden coat was clutched tightly between her fingers, where it had been placed by .Letty. "You're not to weir that coat now, Christy; you'll look too ridiculous. Aunt Lena will cut it down for you, Now listen to every word I say. You are to take this li tter to the Exchange Hotel, it is for Captain Booth, and there is no answer. You are to ooiue back immediately. Repeat that after we." Chrissy did so without a mistake. "That is s simple thing; tt' if ou oan't remember town." it until "you get to "'Deed I'll do ius1 'zookly as yon sav, Miss S'bylla. " After the child bad gone Sibylla sat for a while with her hands clasped above hor head. The sleeve falling baok showed her two) perfectly mould ed arms. Then she took a book from the table, and, opening it, stared at it absently for a few minutes. "Come here, jLetty, she baid, clos ing the book and holding out a hand toward where her sister sat quietly sewing at the other side of the room. She drew Letty close to her and laid her head against the younger girl's arm. "I want you to kiss me," she murmured. Letty flushed with pleasure, and taking the beautiful head between her hands kissed Sibylla's mouth. "I am not coinar to marry Julien, Letty. I have just broken the en gagement." Chrissy trotted along the three-mile stretch of road between the Ashley homestead and the town, Sibylla s let ter tucked in her bosom. Anon she skipped and laughed at the intoxicat ing thought of the beautiful gray coat at home. She drew in great breaths of the sweet early summer air, and trumpeted shrilly in imitation of the elephant she had seen at the circus, Her heart was filled with the very joy of living, and she knew nothing of the heavy tidings Bhe bore in the bosom of her pink frcok. she longed to chase butterflies through a wood, like that lovely little girl u the story Miss Letty had read to her. She looked to left and right, but saw no butterflies, A little way ahead were two cows grazing by the roadside. Cows were not butterrlos, but Chrissy must chase something, and the cows were at hand. Hi, yi 1" Bhe cried shrilly, and ran down the dusty road, and every few steps leaping high in the air. "Hoo, hoo 1" she roared, like a lion. It was great fun. The plaoid animals lum bered heavily along before her, but not fast enough for Chrissy. She had taken Sibylla's letter from her bosom for greater security when Bhe began to run, and now held it in her hand. "Woo, wool it's wild beasts after you 1" she shouted. One big, dun-colored oow rebelled at a further chase, and turning out tried to climb the bank by the road. 3hoo!" cried Chrissy, in hot pursuit, waving her hands. The desperate animal turned and madodown the bank directly toward the girl. "Go 'way, go 'way!" she hcwled, and Sibylla's letter fell to the roadside on a choice spot of mois earth, just where, a sooond letter, a heavy bovine hoof pressed it into the mnd. Chrissy instantly forgot her own ter ror, and the shriek, ending in a sob of rage, which she nttered, was more dreadinspiring than any of her previ ous imitations of wild animals. "Oh, you harv'ble beast yo' great foot on my beau'ful letter I Look at it, alLcove'd wi' nasty mnd 1 -1 can't nevah, nevah take it like that, an I was so happy jes' now 1" She burst into a passion of tears. "What will I do I might jes' as woll run away from home. I nevah can face Miss 8' bylla." bhe trudged slowly homeward, still sobbing miserably' and taking a poor consolation in the thought that "p'raps Miss S bylla d write it over ag in she wirites so quick 'n so beau'ful." Semes black clouds were gathering in the west and there was a muttering of distant thunder, but Chrissy fearwd only Sibylla's frown. She heard a sound of a horse's hoofs behind her, and looking around beheld a sight which made tier heart leap for joy. Captain Julien Booth was riding slowly up the road toward the Ashley house. "Now Miss S'bylla kin tell him be - self," thought the child, "an he won't need the lettab. But bUo'11 ax me to' it." she thought the next instant. "I'd better run home an' 'fess it all ; I kin get there befo' Cap'n Booth if I run fas'." Then tbe prospect of immediately faoing Sibylla with her dread confes sion overpowored the girl. " 'Tain't no use, she muttered, as. she dropped back into a walk ; "I might jes as well die." Captain Julien Booth had risen at dawn and had spent the morning rid ing slowly through country lanes med itating on the step he was about to take. "It may be tho aot ot a brave man or of a coward," he bad said to himself a score of times that day. When in the early spring he asked Sibylla Ashley to marry him he loved her passionately, or thought be did. He loved her so no longer, or believed he did not. The ohsrm ot her wonder fnl beauty was as potent as ever; but the imperiousuess of her manner, the directness of her speeoh which had so fasoinated him at first, had euded by making hiin uneasy. She had been so aooustomed to homage and obodienoe from every one, that he feared she would exact from him inori than he could give. He had a growing fear that she was luoking in womanly ten derness. Ho had ended in believing that they would be miserable together, and had made up his mind to tell her so and to abide by her decision. In the woods that morning he had gone over all that he would tay. lie had prepared for every consequence of his determination for ner bitter scorn, for her cool contempt, for her superb, disdainful silence aud for but no, that thought was dismissed at onoe. The man did not live for whom Sibylla Ashley would shed a to liieu be baa laughed uiua.. .jib rehearsal ot a tragedy the slaying of their nappy love life. Booth rehears, iug Othello is not absurb, but Othello rehearsing herself ! He would tell her that he wits ready to stand by bis promne; uud then he tried to imagine U.e icyk ia Sibylla Ashley's eyes when a man told her, in' effect, that he did not want her, but would take her if she insisted. That flash of lightning whioh almost. blimied him as he reaohed the Ashley gate was pale in comparison! ( For a moment he thonght of riding, by He wanted to postpone the in tervicw he needed more time fori thought. Then he threw his head np and his shoulders baok as he turned his horse! and rode through the gate. "It is the aot of a brave man or of a ooward ; I shall not make it the act of) a cowaid, he said. After Sibylla had been loft alone i she sat for awhile and wondered how Jul-j ien would leoeive her letter. Perhaps he would come out in the evening. Shel hoped bo would not. Sibylla wanted to hear no entreaties; she dreaded a scene. It wonld be so muoh bettor it Julieu would write a sorrowful, manlyj note and accept her doolsion. Then they Could meet after that as friends. Of course, he would be unhappy for a long time ; she expeoted that. It made Sibylla herself feel a little sad, now that it was done. But that would soon pass. She wondered how far Chrissy was on the road, and if Julien would be at the hotol when she arrived. She went down stairs and walked on the lawn as far as the gate, where she had so often parted from him. She saw the rain clouds gathering and returned to her room. She tried to read but could not. She heard the sound of b horse's hoofs below the window and looking out her lips turned pale. Julien was riding np the drive. He must have galloped all the way from the town, she said, as she hurried from the win dow to her mirror. Julien threw his bridle to Absalom, who was hopping about' on oqe foot before tho door. In tbe hall he met Letty, who with soared eyes told him that Sibylla was at home, and ran up stairs to warn hor sister. When Sibylla ontored he was at the window. She closed the door and stood looking at him in silenoe. The oolor had not yet returned to her cheeks, and Julien, she saw, was very pale. For a long moment they stood looking into each other's eyes. "Will you not give mo your hand, Sibylla," Julien said at last in a voice unlike bis own. "Why should I not do so?" she said kindly, and advanoing plaoed her hand in his. "Perhaps after to-day, Sibylla, yon will never give me your baud again, for tbe words I have come to say to you are surely the hardest that man can speak to woman." She drew her hand away quickly. "Do not say them then," she said with all her old imperiousness "I forbid you 1" then in an altered voice: "Julien, I have been a weak or a wickod woman, perhaps, but remem ber I am a proud woman. I know all that you have to say. Don't reproach me." He stared hard at where she stood, looking at him with kindly, sorrowful eyes ; then sank trembling upon a chair. She had read what was iu his mind the instant she entered the room. What a marvelous sym pathy existed between them I She was making his task easy, but oh, how' donbly hard I . "How long have you known thi3, Sibylla?" he asked after a while. "How long? How can I measure it by time?" she said with a touch of iin-i patienoe. "It was days, weeks agoj that I became consoiou of that mde-i finable something which had come be-j tween us. I felt that we were grow ing further apart, and I tried to draw myself nearer yon. Yes, I tried. But even when I was most alieotionate,' even when yon held me closet, I felt it most strongly - oh, miserable sham and pretence ; Julien, why do you make me Bpeak of it? "Sibylla, it was not sham and pre tence it was real while it lasted it was true." "Think so if you can ; even truth has its phases and mutations I sup pose." Then she added more gently,' "I want you to believe the best of me." . ! Captain Booth bout his head and covered his eyes with his hand. He attempted to speak, but only suooecded in making a sound like a groan. Sibylla roso and stood beside him. "Julien," she said, "I am not wout to speak slightingly of myself, but I am not the womau to make you happy.; All my life 1 have been humored aud indulged. I should have demanded muoh from you and should not have been satisfied with less" his very thought. ."Somewhere there is an other woman who will make you a better wife than I " "Not that Sibylla think any. thing but that I swear there is no jther woman I" "Not now ; but there will be one day, of course." He was silent a moment. ' "You do not dispise me Sibylla?" he asked in a low voice. "Despise you despise yju, Julien?" Sho touched his hair sottly. "I honor and respect you more than any man I ever knew." Captain Booth raisod his head and gazed at her with adoring eyes. Then, as he ooutinued to look upward into her calm, lovely faoe, the slid slowly from his chair and fell on his knees before her. He bent his head, aud taking the hem ot her robe tenderly aud as though it were a sacred thing, he raised it to his lips. Then he stood up, took a few steps baokward, with head inclined, aud was gone. it was a beautiful, triumphant end ing to the interview she had so dreaded, and it satisfied Sibylla Ash ley. As the door cloned behind Julieu' sho suddenly realized that the rain' was falling iu torroutu. Could she, after that magiiilloeut exit, call alter him to gi t au umbrella from the rack, but to bo careful not to take the heavy black silk one because it was ltd grandfather's, and he never lent itt How ridionlous I Swiftly she crossod the room aud opened the door. "Julien, I cannot let you go in the rain," she said. Captain Booth was ab the front door. He did not trust himself to speak but waved his hand without turning his head. The door closed behind him, a tremendous clap of thunder shook the houses Sibylla ran baok into the parlor, threw herself upon a sofa and burst into tears. Julien walked rapidly toward thfl barn after his horse. He heard a pat tor of bare feet and became aware that a small oolored girl was running beside him trying to hold a big ging ham umbrella over his head. "You're never goin' to ride out in his rain, Capt'n Booth," cried Absalom from the hayloft as Julien entered the barn door. The young man stood for a long time staring out at the brilliant green of the dripping shrubbery, under neath which the ohiokens, ruffled and snllon were huddled. Ho looked down into Chrissy's swollen face and brim ming eyes, and wondered vaguely if she was crying because she was sorry for him. Then he looked up at the leadeq, streaming sky and tried to imagine what bis life was going to be like without Sibylla Ashley. , . . Of what noxious hellebore or night shade had he drunk that he fancied her lacking in tenderness? this glo rious, beautiful woman whom he had just renounoed, and whom, he knew now, he loved with all his soul. He darted out into the rain again and strode back to the house. Chrissy still ran at his side. He pushed tho front-door open. The sound of his footsteps on the hall floor was drowned by the fury of the storm. He heard Letty's voioe, and then Sibylla's. She was sobbing. f - "I sent him away in the rain, Letty. , . . Ho behaved so boautifully so nobly. ... I did not think it conld be so hard." "Don't cry, door," said Letty. "It is better so, since yon do not love him." , "But but I do love him. I didn't know how muoh till now that I have lost him forever." The door opened softly, and Julien stood within tho room. Sibylla was lying on the sofa, her faoe buried in the pillows. Letty stood beside her, holding her hand. She dropped it with a start as she saw Julien, who held np a warning finger. "Don't go away, liettyl" sobbed Sibylla, and then using almost tho words of Egypt's miserable and de serted queen, "Don't talk to me just pity mo I" She reached out gropingly to take Letty's hand ngain. Sweet Letty sim ply faded out of the room, and it was Julien'shand that Sibylla clasped. "Letty, I know he will ne never comeback I He said hirdly a word, but looked so mi miserable I How tight you are holding my haul you hurt me. Letty I" Bhe suddenly sat upright. Julien was kneeling beside her, his arm was around her waist. A sob was tremb ling on her lios. There must be an outlet; a fit of hysterical, undignified weeping if she pushed hi in away, and there was his shoulder waitiug for hor head, so comfortable, so restful a haven. Bdfora sho realized it, aud by no volition of hers, yet wilh no resist ance, her faoe was buried there, Ju hen's cheek pressed against bar own, and his arms hold bar close. "i could not givo you up, my dar ling," he whispered. "Aud I cannot let you go," sue said, between her sobs. Tho storm was passing, and there were already glimpses of tbe suu be hind the low hanging cloud. Tho lower part of tbe home w is very still. Mur mured, fragmentary phrises of tbe talk of tho two lovers penetrated to tho hall, where a ridiculous little figure in a muddy piuk frock lingered near the parlor-door. "I guess the trouble's 'bout all over," thought Chrissy. "It has brought us ue:irer together, Julieu," sho heard Sibylla s-iy, "and I shall always hold this day blessed; but let us never speak of it again." "Never again, my Sibylla," Julieu' voice mado answer. "Dis lettah'B no good now," solilo quized Chrissy, us she drew the soiled and crumpled onvelope from hei pocket, "it 'ud jes' make mo' trouble if I haud it ovah. Dey doa't want dat mattah talked about no mo', au' I aiu't goiu' to bring it up. I'll jes' go an' put do ole tin.? iu do kitcheu lire," Goodey's Magazine. Tho 1'irnl of Sc'iia.tl Chilli-en. It is a lamentable fact that too little attention is given to the hygienic sur roundings of the pupils iu the schools, aud by lar too litilo to tlia nature of the food aud the maimer of eating. Tbe aim ofteu Bceuus to be to so pre pare the food that it will re juire little or no mastication before it is swal lowed, aud when solid food is taken it is not tullicieutly masticated to prop erly prepare it for the digestive organs. Some years ao a doctor re quested mauy of bis patiects to report as to the number of bites it require I to must'.cate ililerent foods. He especially desired to learu how much less children cheiied tho foo 1 before swallowiug it thuu their p ireuU. lie got reports from one hundred aud fifty intelligent people, uud learned that practice iu this regard varies very much, that children guurrally wero entirely too apt to bolt their food. To encourage tho lin'iii of L-bewing it mure thoroughly, ho ha t advised parents to give tho children chewing guiu, much to tho disgust ot mauy of the parent. Ho thought tho haliit of bWitlloiu ; foo I li-loro it was roperly must tented Hi" r in of nsiitlicieut nouriihiueut iu many cases, New York Ledger. THE MERRY SIDE OF LIFE. STORIE9 THAT ARE TOLD BY THB FUNNY MEN OF THE PRESS. The Craft He Took . Ijiicld Explana tionHad Found It Out No Rea son for Change Hlaaed, Ktc, Etc. A maiden stood Upon the sands Ot Narrairansett Pier. IJer lover held her by the hands; Her papa wasn't near. 'And must you go?" shecrlod. "Alaokt 1 tear 1 mujt," quoth he. A" I then he look a little smack Aud went awuy to sen. Washington Times A I.C01D EXPLANATION. "Annt Lucy, what is eocentrioity ?" "it's the queer things that othor people do." Chicago llooord. BIASED. Wheeler "My doctor advises me to oy ole ; but I don't think I will do so. " Bell "You don't?" Wheeler "No. I think he's biased he's a surgeon." Judge. REBUFFED. Gentleman "My lad, can yo:i di rect me to the Bank of England?" Shoeblack (with withering scorn) "Ga on ; do fet fink I should be do ing this if I was a bank direotor?" World's Comic. WHAT PREVENTED HElC Deaf Mute Lover (speaking through finger signs) "Please sing for me, dearest. Deaf Mute Loved One (ditto, re' grctfully) "I can't dear; I have a sore thumb." Judge. HAD FOUND IT OUT. She "Did you know that Maud has a dark room on purpose for pro posals?" . He "Well, rather. I developed a negative there mysell last night." Co alio Home Journal. EXCEPnONS. "There wero only two dry eyos io the house." . "How do you know about- those two?" "I happened to know that two men in the audience had a glass eye apiece." Judge. VO BEASON FOR CHANGE. Stern Parent "You must under stand, air, that I want my daughter to have as good a home after marriage as she had before, sir." Jack Blufflogton "Well, you're not going to sell ont, are you?" Bal timore News. ONE WAY. "They say the minister preacbos sensational sermons in order to tli reotly reach tho most . depraved classes." ; "flow can that do it?" ; "Why, now the reporters have to hear him." Life. THE BEST TUEY OOULD DO. "I found a fishworm iu my hydrant this morning," said tho wrathful citi zen. "Yes," said the offloial of the water oompany, "that is the best, we oan do just at present. Wo can't afford to furnish fish all w-s ure able to fur nish is bait." Indianapolis Journal. THE llUIilNU PAHSION. Gub "Jaok, old boy, it breaks mo all up to tell you, but the doctors have decided against you." Jaok (very sick) "What do they say?" Gus "That you've only one chanoe in a hnndred to get woll." Jack (who is au inveterate bettor) "Egad ! those are big o bid. Uo vou a fifty that I pull through." OEomiK all Rinnr. Anxious Mother ".Uy dear, I'm afraid George is getting into bad company. He is out very late nearly every night." Observing Fathor "Oil, ho's all right. He goes to see some girl or othor. Shouldn't wonder if he'd an nounoe au engagement soon." "Ho hasu't said a word about any young lady." "So ; but he's keeping company with ouo all the same. His right wrist is full of pin scratohos." WHAT OUB ARTISr HAS TO VVT VV WITH, Major Blundcrbore (who has just told our artist a regular side-splitter) "Well, that's a good 'ud, aiu't it? Anyhow, it's quite new aud original, for it was said only last night by a clever little girl I know a niece of my own." Our Artist "Yes; it's a capital story." Major Blundcrbore "Then why didu't you laugh?" Our Artist "Beoauso I told it to you myself only last wook and you didn't laugh." P-uuch. A Bl'l'BKI'ISE DISTINCTION. The hypercritical man flung down his paper iu disgust. "There it is again," ho exclaimed. "Somebody has ouco uure mado uso of that luexousablo phrase, '.uscious bivalve.' " "it is rather old," replied his wife in a sympethetio tone. "I don't olijeut to the age of it," was the petuluut answer ; "what makes me indignant is its iuaocuruoy. Tbe oyster iu its native state is a bivulvo. But before it is tit for uousumptiou somebody has to go at it with a knife and a hammer ami pry at least one of its shelhi oil. Then it may be accept ed us a luscious viutid. But it's a uni valve thuu. Aud so long us it remains a bivalve I duly uuybody to digest it unless he has a wizz.nd likeau ostrich." Wash'ugtou Star. IF I KNEW, If I knew tho box where tho smiles are kept No tnnttor how largo the key Or str mir tho bolt, I would try so hard, 'T would open, I know, for me. Tlieti over" the land and the sea. broadcast, I'd scatter the" smiles to play, That tM children's might hold them fast For many and many n day. ' It I knew a b jx that was large enough To hold all tho fffiwrts-I meet, I would Ilk ) to gather tboai, every one, Fro n nursery, sohool, and street. Tneo, foldlnir aud holding, I'd pack thorn In, Aad, turning the monster key, I'd hlra a giant to drop tho box To the depths of the deop, deep seu. HUMOR OF THE IUY. She "Am I the first woman yon everkissod?" He (surprised) "Why, nol I have a mother." Xorriatowa Horald. - . Artist "That man Bacon offered me $12 for that largost p tinting of mine." Caller "Oh, then you've had it framed?" Man in tho First Row (at theater) "I don't think muoh'of that oome dian." Man in the Sooond Kow "Nor I; he didn't ride in on a bicycle. " Tuck. "You have nothing to regret, broth er?" tentatively asked the minister, "Nope," said the dyiug rounder. "I ain't leaving a cent." Cincinnati En quirer. Mrs. Graymare "Do you remem ber the night you asked me to marry you? Tho moon was full." Mr. Graymare "So was I." Cinoinnati Enquirer. "Overcoats are to be short and trousers tight this winter." "Well, I'm all right; only my trousers will .be short and my overooat tight." Buualo News. He was reading oloud "Bears, it ia said, have a vicious propensity for hugging." "Oh," she interrupted, "how I wish you wore a boar I" De troit Free Press. Tired Byard "De coastin' part of bioyclin' is all rite. Yer don't haff ter work de pedals." Weary Wally "Yes I but yer haff ter hold on an' steer, don't yer?" Judge. . ' "I supose this campaign requires all tUO VlAkUl W . JUL J,VHV1UIWUU 1 - X Mnni.AB vartr ItfflA nratnrf ! what bothers ns is the man in the audiouce who asks questions." Puok. She sat on the beaoh and gazed meditatively at the rings whioh adorned her fingers. "Know all men by those presents," she mnrmnred, "that I am a summer girl." Puck. Dolly "I told Mr. Nicefellow that I bet Beggie twenty kisses our boat would win a race at the regatta." Daisy "Well, wasn't ha shocked?" Dolly "No. I let him hold tho stakes." Boston Globe. "Yon don't mean to say that that stingy old maid has given you ten marks for telling her fortune?" "In deed I dc. I told her she would meet with an accident bofore she was twenty-four years old," Fiiegende Blaet ter. "Dennis, did you mail that postal card I gave you ?" "Yis, aor, an' Oi tuk the liberty, sorr, of puttiu' a two oint shtainp on it, sorr. Yo wrote so foine au' got so much on th cyard Oi thought it moiglit bo ' overweight, sorr." Harper's Bazar. Mrs. Nubbins "My husband is a perfect brute." Frieud "Youamaza me." Mrs. Nubbins "Since tho baby began teething, nothing would quiet the little augel but pulling his pupa's beard, aud yesterday he went aud had his beard shaved off. "Tit-Bits. Professor "Do you know, madam, there was a time when meu wore cor sets; but they found they wore injuri ous to health," and so " Mrs. Wrong rightor "Yes; and so thoy gave them to their poor, weak, helpless wives an.l daughters." Now York Weekly. "I am tired to death," declared Mrs. Matronly as sho reached home from down town the other evening. "What's tho matter?" asked her hus band. "Been having ba'jy's piotures taken. They have a way of taking them instantaneously now, you know." "Ho .r long wore you at it?" "Three hours aud a half." Detroit Freo Press. Causa of Tug nul M si. Owing to the clour sky that prevails within ureas of high pressure the radia tion of heat from tho prouud or tho ocean surfuce aud from the lowest stra tum of air proceeds mora rapidly, aud, as is well known, dnriug nuch periods mist aud fog are formed iu the lower air. Ka.liiition proceeds uninterrup tedly during ttiu night time from the upper surface of fogry air. and the depth of the layer of fog steadily in creases, -o that oftentimes tuj heat of t ie sun, iu the mid lie ot tbe day, ia not stitlioieut o disv'p.ito the fog forme I at night. It li n ofteu been remarked th it thelooWit at, or above, tbe muiu top overlooks tho oeau of fog. Iu geueral, a deti'o fog implies clear sky above it, and by attention to the luovemeut of nr.asof pie.-stiro it becomes puiljlo to predict fog on oui COOijt. A lljgu'iiii! Writing- IV.p.T. Amoiig tue l.itjst things iu station try iu a writiu p.i,)-.T which is spe cially luiuufa.'iurj I f th-,) preven tion of the fprci hug by letters of various forms of lute -tie is. disease. Every ono is aw.ire '.li it. iu receiving letters from disease -iriC icu plan1, at home or abroad, ttn-y r iu a uertvu amount of ri. This st itiou.-ry is suid to l r.m lere l ruiit.i:iji proof, 'The pMi'er is .s inipre ;irit 'd with uuti septu s tiiKl nil .1, h ii-i i.ms i,i -gituisiua a -llii rmg to it are n n l i I niert.even though a It-Vii' s'.ii l.t:i person writo jr touch tho letur. l
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers