RATES OF ADVERTISING. One Sqnaro, one Inch, one Inrertlon.. ...I 1 00 One Sqnare, one Inch, one month I 00 One Bqtiaro, one Inrh, three month. 0 One Sqnaro, one Inch, one year 10 00 Two Squares, one year 16 00 Conner Colnmn, one year SO 00 Half Column, one year M 00 One Colnmn, one year .............100 to Legal advcrtl.oment. ten cent. (.er line each .ertlon. , Marriage and death notice, gratis. All bill, for yearly advertisement collected qnar. terly. Temporary advertisement moat be paid Id advance. Job work caah on delivery. la pabtl.hcd very Wednc.day, by J. E. WENK. Orttoe la Smonrbaueh & Co.'a Building ELM STREET, TIONE8TA, r. Terms, - f 1.60 per Year. No mbpcrlptlon received for a shorter period than three monthe. r Oorre.pomlcnce .olleltcd from all part of the country. No notice will be taken of snonymou. omuiunlcationa. YOL. Ill- HO. 12. TIONESTA, PA., WEDNESDAY, JULY 14. 1886. $1.50 PER ANNUM. THE FOREST REPUBLICAN til ri Cff) (1 fl The temperance hospital just estab lished in Chicago under tho lead of Miss Frances Willnrd Is tho second of its kind lu the world, .the first one having been founded in London in 1-873. Alcohol ran only be administered in cases where a council of physiciuns decides that noth ing clso can avail. At a recent Mexican bull fight just across tho Rio Grande from Brownsvillo, Texas, one of tho bulls broke through the enclosure and began climbing tip tho benches. Women screamed and fainted, men scrambled to get out of tho way, and a generul fusillade began, every man near enough popping away at tho bull, M ho succumbed with thirty bullets in his hffy. California carries on a largo business in sea shells, which are gathered on its coast and shipped to Europe. One firm lias a contract to ship forty tons of shells every sixty clays. They aro worth from f 700 to $1,000 per ton. They aro used in all kinds of decorativo industries, re turning to the United States from France vastly incrensed in price, when trans formed into pearl buttons, brooches, shawl clasps, knife handles, or inlaid work. Tahita shells, largo flat mothcr-of-pairl shells, aro worth from $1,50 to 4 each, and tho finest selocted pairs are sometimes sold for as much as $50. One of the forest curiosities of the Isthmus of Dnrien and lower Central Amir' - is tho tree killer (matapalo). This Marts in life as a climber upon tin trunks of large forest trees, aud, owing to its marvelously rapid growth, soon reaches tho lower branches. It then be gius to throw out many shoots, which en tw ine thetnselve all around tho trunk oiid branches, mid also aerial tendrils, which, as soon as they reach tho ground tako root. In a few years this gigantic parasite will completely envelop the trunk of the tree which has upheld it, and kill It. Tho wholo of the inner dead tree will then rot away, leaving tho hollow matapalo standing alone and flourishing- Experiments have recently been made by Dr. Younger, of San Francisco, on the subject of tho transplantation of teeth with a view to their growth in tho new position. It would appear that, if proper precautions bo taken to securo perfect appositim and cleanliness.hc operation is often attended with success, and pos sesses many advantages over tho use of false teeth. Tho inflammation of tho gums, however, is somewhat persistent, and constitutes a drawback, from the in--convenionce which results therefrom. Recourse to this method is more particu larly indicated when tho teeth to be re placed are front teeth, and essential both for appearances' sake, and for perfect ar ticulation. In the opinion of M. Cambicr, Chief Roadmastcr of the French Government railways, tho best plan yet discovered for consolidating, by the interlacing of its roots, the looso .oil of a newly made embankment is the double poppy. Ten years' trial has enabled M. Cumbier, as he says, to gnaranteo that tho poppy will be found far more efficient for this pur poso than any of the grasses or clovers usually employed; and while these re quire several months for tho develop ment of their comparatively feeble roots, the double poppy germinates in a few days, aud in two weeks grows enough to give some protection to tho slope, while at the end of three or four months the roots, which are ten or twelve inches long, are found to have interlaced so as to retain tho earth far moro firmly than those of any grass or grain. Although the plant is an annual, it sows itsdf after the first year, and with a little care the bank is always in good condition. The subject and facts of longevity have been made almost a life's study by Professor Humphrey, of London. His investigations show that in tho first year of life tho mortality among males is much greater than among females the latter, therefore, have the start of tho former at the very beginning, in inherent vitality. The average height of women he has found to be five feet three inches and of men five feet six incite ; in pulse aud respiration, also, the women have the ad vantage, showing eighty-nine in com parison wth the men's seventy-three, while the latter's respiration is nineteen as agtinst twenty-two of the weaker sow The bones of men and women which, up to maturity, increased in weight, after that period lost considerably, though with no decrease in size, but more often an increase, to which latter fact may be attributed the bony appearance presented by many old people. The average num ber of teeth in meu un 1 women above eighty years of age was six aud three respectfully. Tho greater proportion of thee old-lived people, Professor Hum phrey found, came of long-lived families. HALF OF MY L.1FB. "Half of my life is gone, and I have let The years slip from me, and bare not ful filled The aspiration of my youth to build Some tower of song with lofty parapet Not indolence, or pleasure, nor the fret Of restless passions that would not be stilled; , Butaorrow and a care that almost killed, Kept me from what I may accomplish yet, Though half-way up the hill, I see the Past Lying beneath me with its sounds and sights; A city in the twilight dim and vast, With smoking roofs, soft bells, and gleam ing lights, Aud hear above me, on the autumnal blast The cataract of Death far thundering from tho heights." Longfellow, from his Piography. A WIFE'S GRIEVANCE. "Maybe I'd go to Boston with you, Warren, if urged," said young Mrs. Ger rish, archly, standing on tiptoe to smooth down her husband's nodding scalp lock. "It's too late to think of it too late altogether," cried Mr. Ucrrish, in haste, rushing to his desk and scattering the papers like a Dakota blizzard. "Where's my bank-book? Seen it, Mabel?" "There, Warren; 1 forgot to tell you. I thought it would bo safer behind the clock, ' "Safer behind tho fiddlesticks," cogi tated tho annoyed husband, as ho tipped over tin timepiece in laying hold of the missing property ; but being a gentleman, he merely remarked impressively t at ten to one he shou.d lose tho train. "It's only eight, Warren. You've half an hour." "But I've I've something to attend to before going to tho station," he stam mered, obviously embarrassed. "Oh!" Mrs. Gerrish dropped her ques tioning brown eye, flushing hotly. Why did her husband reject her proffered company? And what was this mysteri ous errand that he would not tell of? "Good-by, wifekin. Take care of yourself till I see you," ho added, in a friendlier tone, as he jumped into his carriage. "Well, I must say!" ejaculated tho lit t.e lady, frowning after the retreating vehicle. But she did not say it. In stead, she set the clock on its legs again, and fell to musing. She was sorry she had vexed Warren by meddling with his bank book, but he need not have been so cross. What did he want of tho book, anyway? Had he not only yesterday told her that he didn't owo a cent in tho world? And why this was a vital query why had he gone oil without her, too preoccupied to saatch a good-by kiss? Last week ho had left her behind in the same way. Sho would not havo minded tho neglect so much if it had not afterward come to her ears that hn had gone straight from her to Miss Ebbitt, and escorted that young lady to tho city. He never had hinted a word about it. Mrs. Gerrish secretly hoped the rumor wasn't true, but it was shocking to have the neighbors talking. And now to think that, after -humbling herself to ask her husband to take her, she should havo me', with a flat refusal ! The stroke of nine surprised her just this side of tears. Was it possible she had. idled away a wholo hour in arrangin tho writing desk, and bridget gone for the week? Hurrying into the kitchen to wash tho breakfast dishes, her eyes rested on a quaint-looking man in the doorway. ".Mornin', Miss Gerrish," said he, dof fing his hat for coolness rather thau cour tesy. "Good-morning, Undo Jabez," re sponded she, kiiuily. "Have you como to split me some kiudlings?"' "Sartain, ma'am. I suspicionc-d you must bo about out," said the village fac totum, wiping his bald knob of a crown, which rose above its encircling fringe like tho seed-vessel of a poppy above its corolla. "I knew your husband wasn't here to do for you," ho continued, putting his hnt on ngain with a screwing motion, as if it were the cover of a fruit jar. "I'd been clearing out the Widde'r Ebbitt's pipes, and I was crawling along on her rug, when Mr. Gerrish drove up for Jinny. He didn't have to wait. On tho flat of her foot Jinny is, for all her fuss and feathers." "Did they catch the train?" faltered tho young wife, her face averted. "Yes, ma'am, they catehed it. I asked Hiram Blodgett when he fetched your horse back to the store," unswered 1,'ncle Jabez, his confiding blue eyes fixed on the sky. "I'm jealous of a shower, ma'am. Remember that pealer we had the last time your husband took Jinny to Boston?" "Last Thursday, do you mean?" queried Mrs. Gerrish, anxiously. That miserable rumor might be true. She was ready to believe anything. "It strikes me 'twas Thursday. Yes, ma'am, 'twas a week ago to-day, fori was in tho Widder Ebbitt's stable mendin' hercrib when your husband drove in with Jinny. The water was a-streakin' it oil o' the kerridge, but he'd wropped Jinny complete, o't she skipped out dry as a grasshopper. She told him she wasiio end grateful for his care, and faith she'd orter been; for if he hadn't held her bhawl round her so, her silk gownd would 'a been spotted hitherty yonder." "What did ho say to that, uncle?" "Oh, he was even with her, ma'am. 'I'm the one obleegcd, Mis Jinny, says he. 'You know you're everything to me.' I lost tho rest, ho spoke so low." "Yes, certainly," murmured the da.ed little wife, absently shuttiug Lucie Jabez into the shed. Mist Ebbitt everything to Warren by Warren's own confession! Could she. trust her own ears? Eccentric and scatter-brained Uncle Jabez might be, but deaf or prone to mischief he was not. She could not for a moment doubt his word. That her husband should be seeking clandestine interviews with any lady was enough; that the lady thus sought should bo Miss Ebbitt was beyond endurance I In her fierce perturbation Mrs. Gerrish hardly heard the crash of the sugar-bowl that slipped from her hand. Who would heed breaking china when the very sky was falling? To bo frank, from the time she came to Oak land a bride, Mrs. Gerrish had suffered intermittent spasms of jealousy on ac count of this same Miss Ebbitt. She had never been able to forget a jesting remark made by one of her best callers. "Among our village celebrities we reckon Miss Ebbitt, our talented organ ist," the guest had said. "Really. Mrs. Gerrish, I must hasten to introduce you to your husband's old flame." "Old flame!" the coarse words rankle;. One moment the young wife would resolve to repeat them to her hus band, the next she would shrink from alluding to them, feeling that if he had once loved Miss Ebbitt, she would rather not be assured of the fact. She recalled the nervous headache produced by that unpleasant visit. How devoted Warren hud been, so grieved by her suffering, that for shame's sake she could not have hinted at its cause. Dear old fellow, of course he had loved her then, and of course ho loved her now. Uncle Jabez's distracting gossip could be easily explained. To think otherwise was absurd. '' Jehu 1 I was satisfied I heerd some thing smash," cried that simple individ ual, pushing the door ajar with his moc casincd toe, and shuttling in, his arms full of wood. "There, there, ma'am, I wouldn't take on so about the chancy. Your husband won't feel getting you a new sugar dish, bein' he's in the crockery line." " It breaks the set, you see," equivo cated the proud little matron, humoring his conceit. Better pass for a ninny than a jealous wife. "We all have our pesters," philoso phized Uncle Jabez, placing the sticks in the wood-box with fond deliberation. "Now you know how 'twas at my house last spring. My wife was sick, and I had a narrer squeak to get along; but now my wife's dead, and I'm out of debt, and I thank the Lord I Hullo! here's Lunt's team." The entering grocer nodded affably to Mrs. Gerrish as he dropped his parcels upon the table. "Warm morning, ma'am. Shower brewing. Mr. Gerrish to be gone long?" "Only till noon. He has runup to Bos ton." "Oh, I supposed ho was going further. Noticed he carried a valise, and got checks for New York." "Guess ho was secin' to Jinny Eb bitt's traps," volunteered Uncle jabez, following the grocer out to beg a ride. "She's started for New York. They're tinkerin' he meet in'-house, and she's free toiunoff." "And to stay off, for all of me," mut tered the little matron, sweeping up tho scattered sawdust with a spiteful flirt of her broom. "Why didn't Warren tell me sho was going? He's amazingly coy about speaking of his old love." Old love in more senses than one. Miss Ebbitt was thirty at least, for all she would persist in dressing as youth fully as herself nineteen this very day! What ravishing bonnets the coquette did wear, and what airs she did put on in the choir, where she always sut next to Mr. Gerrish! Often whispering to him too. Was it necessary for organist and choris ter everlastingly to confer with each other? In that case, aggrieved Mrs. Gerrish wished that she might be the organist herself. With a little more practice in the u?e of pedals, she was suro she could play as well Miss Ebbitt. At all events, she could have played as well before she left her father's home and the dear piano. Warren had praised her execution in those days. He needn't trouble himself to praise it again, if Jenny Ebbitt was "everything to him." What else had he to say to MUs Jenny that day? Had shebeen in Uncle Jabez's place, Mrs. Gerrish felt sure she should nave heard every word, had her husband whispered never so softly. Was he at the present moment holding Miss Jenny's shawl about her in the cars, as he had held it in the carriage? Didn't the woman possess a shawl-pin f Ten o'clock, and the dishes unwashed! Tho belated little housekeeper bared her dimpled arms and made a feint of haste; but the stroke of eleven found her hands still in soapsuds, and her thoughts in Boston. Warren called Miss Ebbitt a superior woman. Pity he hadn't married her! Twelve o'clock! Well, by this time he had doubtless seen Miss Jenny off to New York, and he must be on the train for home. She would put the pudding in to bake. At one, the usual hour of dining, the pudding was dough, and the lamb not half roasted. What ailed the oven? For once in his life her husband would have to wait for his dinner. Mrs. Gerrish said to heiself that she didn't care. Ho had been partaking of an intellectual feast with Miss Jenny; he must make that do. But when at two o'clock the dinner was smoking in the warming oven, she chafed at his non-appearance. Why sho.-ild he delay on this of all days, while the heavens bewailed a furious tempest? Ho knew her dread of lightning. He had never before neglected her so cruelly. What if absurd fancy what if he had really gone on a journey, as the grocer had supposed ! Chiding her self for the thought, sho rushed up stairs to prove its fallacy. Through gathering gloom she glided straight to her husband's closet, suggestively open. Where was the valise that had stood in one comer? Where indeed? The space it had filled mocked her with its blank ness. A new suit fresh from the tailor's had also vanished yes, and the bank book! In pity's name, why had her hus band needed that? Had he gone on to New York with Miss ENjbiit? Tiansfixed with horror at tho suspicion, the miser able young wife glared ai. the dismantled wardrobe till routed to physical fear by a terrific thunderbolt. Then, half frenzied, she lighted tho lamp, drew the shutters, and flung herself on the bed. In the grasp of that memorable tempest the cottage trembled like a living thing, and the ground shook as with an earth quake. Older and braver women than Mrs. Gerrish shuddered that day, and she, poor fasting soul, was all a ie, and bat tling with her first anguish. Oh, the cru elty of it! Gradually the storm subsided. Sho grew calmer. Spent with cxrte ment, she may have drowsed. Sudqfc nly she started up in a panic. The ctck was striking five. The September night was shutting down upon her. She could not confront it unattended; but, on the other hand, how could she proclaim her desertion totho neighbors? Could she ever tell living mortal of tho tress of hair hidden among her husband's old letters a snaky curl just the shade of Miss Ebbitt's? Shrouded in misery, lit tle Mrs. Gerrish buried herself again among the pillows. From this premature interment .some body exhumed her five minutes later somebody with broad shoulders, and beard slightly frosted with gray her own husband, in fact. "Frightened, Mabel?" cried he, blink ing at tho lamp-light. "Why, my blessed girl, the shower is qulto over. See how bright it is?" He threw back the shutlers, and let the sun shine full into .her tenrful eyes. "What why how did you happen to come back?" gasped she, fluttering from his embrace with the dignity of an insulted sparrow. "Cordial query, little wifel I came for my dinner, but it seems I was not ex pected." "Dinner!" Mrs. Gerrish choked with indignation. To be put off like a baby in this manner was too humiliating. Her husband regarded her in surprise. "How ill you look!" ho said, tenderly. "Strange thunder showers should pros trate you so. Don't try to come down. I'll forage for myself in the pantry. Must bolt my dinner in order to be at the store at 2." "At 2? It chances to be past 5 al ready." "Past 5? My dear Mabel, how inco herently you are talking! Don't tell me you've been struck by lightning !" cried he, in real concern. "Look at my watch. It's just a quarter past one." "One two three four live six, disputed the clock below, with lying im pudence. Mr. Gerrish threw back his head and fairly roared with laughter. "Oh, that's the game, is it? So much for my tipping tho thing over taking time by the fore lock, as you might say. But, dearie, how strange that you didn't suspect that the clock was going two hours in one! How absorbed you must have been this morning!" "More absorbed than you were?" queried Mrs. Gerrish, viciously. "Well, no, Pussy, maybe not," re sponded her sublimely unconscious hus band, with a roguish twinkle. "You see, this is young Mrs. Gerrish's first birthday, and I've been deeply engrossed in choosing a gift worthy of her." "Warren!" "We've been engrossed, I should say. Jenny Ebbitt's judgment has been every thing to me. We didu't find everything satisfactory last week, and had to wait till to-day for the new lot; but Jenny de clares that we've at last hit upon the sweetest-toned piano in Boston. I'm dreadfully cut up because you can't have it on your birthday ; but you can try it to-morrow. Meanwhile, here's the bill of sale, made out in your name, as you'll perceive. Mrs. Gerrish allow me to present it to you with your husband's love." "Warren, Warren, you're lots too good forme," sobbed his little wife, with self upbraidings as wild as her grammar. "Nonsence, goosie; no man created could be that," jested he, highly flat tered. He thought her simply over wrought by the fierce tempest without. Of the fiercer tempest that had raged within he knew nothing, either then or afterward. Next day, along with tho piano, came Mr. Gerrish's valiso containing tho suit left at the tailor's for alteration. And the post brought a letter from Miss Eb bitt. The writer had secured a lucra tive position as organist in a New York church; might she resign her former situation in favor of Mrs. Gerrish? "How kind of her! It's more than I deserve, Warren," cried the contrite young wife. And it gratified her husband to see that she put the letter carefully away in the very drawer which held her dead sister's curl. l'enn Hhirtey, in Bazar. An Armor Plate Thut No Shot Can Pierce. Tho latest victory in the long drawn match between the gun and the armor plate has been scored in favor of armor. At Spezzia a German chilled steel armor plate, five feet nine inches in thickness, weighing 100 tons, was fixed against the face of the cliff, and battered with chilled shot from the 100-ton gun. A thunderbolt weighing almost exactly a ton was hurled against the face of the plate by tho explosion of 7 J cwt. of powder without producing more than a slight indentation and some trilling crac ks. Three shots failed to make any serious impression on the plate, which has thus come off victor in the struggle. It would seem that no shot yet invented w ill go through six feet of chilled steel. I'ull .Vail OaiHtt. They have fogs so dense in Pittsburg that the citizens use them to stuff pillow, and mattreaaas with. WaMwton Critic. I HOUSEHOLD AFFAIRS. Ilints and Itccipes. Wash the hair in cold sage tea. To remove ink stains soak in sour milk over night. To brighten and clean old alapaca wash in coffee. To brighten carpets sprinkle with salt before sweeping. AVhcn cooking beans add one-half tea spoon of saleratus. To polish a stove rub with a newspaper instead of a brush. Mix stove polish with vinegar and a teaspoonful of sugar. To remove tea stains from cups and saucers scour with ashes. Soft waffles One quart of milk, four eggs, one-quarter of a pound of butter, yeast; to be made as thin as pan cakes. To remove grease from wall paper lay several folds of blotting paper on the spot and hold a hot iron near it until the grease is absorbed. Crackers that aro not fresh can be made to appear so by putting them into a hot oven for a short time. Watch them care fully, as a minute too long will serve to brown and spoil them. A good potato, when cut, will show a light cream color, and a white froth will be the result produced by rubbing the cut surface together. Reject that variety where drops of water appear. Another test is to put potatoes into a solution of salts; tho good will sink, tho poor float. Bishop's bread Beat bjtorteen ounces of sugar with the yolks of six eggs and the whites of three for 'half an hour. Then add slowly eight ounces of flour, six ounces of blanched almonds cut in thin strips, six ounces of raisins aud three ounces of citron cut in fine pieces. Pour in a well-gressed pan and bake slowly. To bleach a sponge, soak it well in dilute muriatic acid twelve hours. Wash well with water to remove the lime, then immerse it in a solution of hyposulphite of soda, to which dilute muriatic acid has been added a moment before. At: : it is bleached sufficiently remove it, wash it again and dry it. It may thus be bleached almost suow white. Birds' ne t pudding Peel and core eight tart apples ; in each hollow stuff sugar and a little cinnamon ; make a but ter of a pint of flour, a spoonful of corn starch, a large teaspoonful of baking powder and a spoonful of melted butter. Mix with milk to the consistency ol drop-cake, pour over the applies and bake three-quarters of an hour. Eat with sauce. Petroleum jelly serves to clean and take away all traces of dirt from the hands after work in the shop or labo ratory. For that purpose, yo.i need only rub the hands with a small amount of the jelly, which, penetrating into the pores of the skin, incorporates itself with the greasy matters which nre there. Wash them with warm water and Castile soap, and the hands become cleansed and soft ened. A palatable supper dish Line a veg etable dish with well-seasoned mashed potatoes; leave a large space in tho centre, wet it over with the white of an egg, or with milk sweetened with a very little sugar, and put it in the oven to brown delicately; take about two dozen oysters, and a little milk, with butter, EeppeT- ana salt, ana let it come to a oil on tho top of the stove. Put in with the oysters a few thin slices of cold roast beet; when this is sufliciently heated and the oysters cooked, pour it into the space left in the potato-lined dish. Some Washington Callers. I am reminded, apropos of nothing at all, of the difficulties foreigners have in learning the customs of the American Court, says the New Orleans 1'irayuneU astnngton correspondent. The green members of the various legations some times make funny mistakes. It is well known and laughed at, the little error of the foreign Minister who called on a lady one afternoon, and when leaving was invited to come again, lie mad. a deep obeisance, departed, and in half an hour called ngain, repeating his visit with as much formality as on tlie first oc casion. He h.id been asked to call again, ana courtesy in ms country re quired the command to be instantly obeyed. On another occasion a member of a Celestial Legation made his first call on a lady. He stayed an hour, two, three four. He could speak but little Eng lish, and looked bored, worried and bothered to death. His enforced hostess was at her wit's ends, but still the luck less visitor stayed on. She called in her husband, nnd they entertained the at tache in relays.relieving one another like guards of a camp. Finally, at the end of the7thhour,withlho humblest manner and great deprecation, the visitor asked forgiveness for the mortal offence of re tiring from the fray. Tho joke then came out. The poor fellow had been pa tiently waiting to be dismissed, as was the c ustom in his own country. A certain young lady living in Wash ington earns a tine salary by teaching American small talk to these! young at taches who are great beaux in society, lb r plan is simple enough. Her pupil c ills, is received, and converses with his hostess teacher for two hours. The talk is confined to drawing-room topics. This wicked young teacher taught six young fellows precisely the same round of pretty and wi'ty phrases, and at a cer tain grand ball they were hovering around Miss Daisy Kickelts, one of the youngest and most popular of the Wash Ington gills, and each and everyone was Baying the same things to her. . ,. . . . . , lf the ,n,"ht ?'r 18 ""wholesome, why do owl hvu long.JWwi Wcklu. NEXT-DOOR NEIGHBORS. One cottage porch, with open door, Shelters a nestling brood and mother; ' Jpon tho toy besprinkled floor A sturdy baby guards the other, The maples and the cherry-trees Shut in the boys and birds together, a.nd here the honey-scented bees Are busy all the summer weather. The farmer husband, early, late, Tilling his land, his produce selling, By thrift compels unfriendly Fate; He makes a home of labor telling, Broad barns and swelling stacks of grail, I at, placid sheep, contented cattle. Prove that his toil is not in vain. And mark the progress of the battle. lis round-faced wife, with chubby boyij Goes briskly by in rattling wagon; The pewee, frightened at the noise, Parts from her net, poor timid dragon! Whirling about, with ruffled crest, Her mate pursues her, tender, savage, As who should say: "Beloved, beet, Who'd dare this happy home to ravage?" The stubborn farmer would but scorn The plucky spirit of his neighbor, That lightsome heart, of sunshine born, That sings its songs to sweeten labor; Yet bound are both in love's own chain, Each tethered to a central dnty, To the house-mother, with her pain, And the bird-mothor, with her beauty. D. II. R. Ooodale, in Youth's Companion. HUMOR OF THE DAT. Always ready to strike The police man. The interests of the butchers are always at steak. Somebody has written a book entitled : "What Shall my Son be?" Has he failed as a baseball player? If not, there is still hope. Call. "Love is blind." True, true. The young man never discovers the dog until it is too late to escape in a dignified manner. Philadelphia Item. It is boldly asserted that the American hen is not doing her duty. She stands Bround doing nothing, and expects ihe patent incubators to carry the heavy end of the contract. Philadelphia Call. "Now, miss," concluded a pompous young Pittsburger, "I've given you a bird's-eye view of the whole subject. Have I not!" "You have," was tho be wildering response; "a goose's." Pitts burg Bulletin. A man In Lawrence, Kan., has been ar rested for burglary. He attempted to prove an alibi by declaring that he had been out fishing, but he couldn't produce any fish and was held for trial. Here is a state of things. A string of fish abso lutely necessary to prove that a man has been fishing! This is against all prece dent. Kanaaa City Journal. He called at six, and then remained Until the midnight bells had rung. And it was two o'clock. The maiil Was anrry at the way he stayed; At length she said her tone was hot "You are a striker, are you not?" "How sol" his eyes he ofened wide; 'Twos then the little maid replied: "At least vou'reonen to improvement: ' I see you're in the eight-hour movement. Tid-Bits. Ship-Worms. There are several species of what are popularly called shi)-worms, which err ordinarily included under the name of teredo. Although they have a worm-like appearance, they are not worms, but shell-bearing mollusks as much as the "common long-necked clam" of the At lantic const of the United States. The teredo is not particular as to the kind of timber into which it bores, but always goes with the grain, unless it meets with some obstacle, such as a nail or very hard knot. It is not believed that the wood it perforates furnishes any nutri ment to the animal, but that its susten ance is cTcrived entirely from tho watei which is constantly passing through ita body. Upon the water fronts cf San Fran cisco, I have known (says a writer) piles of Oregon pine and fir, over a fcot in diameter, rendered worthless in eighteen months, and have heard of even a more rapid destruction of wharf piles in the harbor of the city. In the case which fame under my notice as above, the wood of the pile had not lost its original fresh ness when it had to bo removed irom the wharf, and a new one put in its place. One caso occurred of the destruction of the supports of a small pair of piles in six weeks. The money loss cntaihdby these little mollusks upon private parties and business corporations engaged in commercial marine enterprises, aud on the naval equipment ami appurtenances, is enormous, and has led to a number of experiments by governments and invent ors, for the protection of woodwork used in marine structures; but from the result of experiments, it is believed that the constitution jf the ship-worm is poison proof. The palmetto tree of tho Southern States is said to be never bored by the ship-worm, and some Australian woods have similar immunity. The Pen. Kvery graceful hbadod lino, Strength ami ln-uuty does eoinbino 'Tis the jH'iiuyiu s ihdu to ilruw Each lair ei i vo without a Haw. Records of ull deeds and times, Hoasler's brug and "o"t s rhymes. Jtinle or artful, still inut be tluly writ, bright (eu, bv tlni, Oil! what porter for good or ill Kept in hands tliut show thy skill. Surely for sneli 1 ower and might, Swift to a' t aud tt.roU to siniUi, Teiiiwei like Iauias its' b'title, Kveu, truu aud perfect made, Th' pen! the unrivaled pen Lea-Is the roll with living nu n, And exalts the, race Hy tiwint; ileud of living grace; Not for foul purpose wrought Stained with siu or evil thought iWimuii' Art tuurnal.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers