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One Sqnare, one Inch, one month I 00
One Bqtiaro, one Inrh, three month. 0
One Sqnaro, one Inch, one year 10 00
Two Squares, one year 16 00
Conner Colnmn, one year SO 00
Half Column, one year M 00
One Colnmn, one year .............100 to
Legal advcrtl.oment. ten cent. (.er line each
.ertlon. ,
Marriage and death notice, gratis.
All bill, for yearly advertisement collected qnar.
terly. Temporary advertisement moat be paid Id
advance.
Job work caah on delivery.
la pabtl.hcd very Wednc.day, by
J. E. WENK.
Orttoe la Smonrbaueh & Co.'a Building
ELM STREET, TIONE8TA, r.
Terms, -
f 1.60 per Year.
No mbpcrlptlon received for a shorter period
than three monthe. r
Oorre.pomlcnce .olleltcd from all part of the
country. No notice will be taken of snonymou.
omuiunlcationa.
YOL. Ill- HO. 12.
TIONESTA, PA., WEDNESDAY, JULY 14. 1886.
$1.50 PER ANNUM.
THE FOREST REPUBLICAN
til ri Cff) (1 fl
The temperance hospital just estab
lished in Chicago under tho lead of Miss
Frances Willnrd Is tho second of its kind
lu the world, .the first one having been
founded in London in 1-873. Alcohol
ran only be administered in cases where
a council of physiciuns decides that noth
ing clso can avail.
At a recent Mexican bull fight just
across tho Rio Grande from Brownsvillo,
Texas, one of tho bulls broke through
the enclosure and began climbing tip tho
benches. Women screamed and fainted,
men scrambled to get out of tho way,
and a generul fusillade began, every man
near enough popping away at tho bull,
M ho succumbed with thirty bullets in his
hffy.
California carries on a largo business
in sea shells, which are gathered on its
coast and shipped to Europe. One firm
lias a contract to ship forty tons of shells
every sixty clays. They aro worth from
f 700 to $1,000 per ton. They aro used
in all kinds of decorativo industries, re
turning to the United States from France
vastly incrensed in price, when trans
formed into pearl buttons, brooches,
shawl clasps, knife handles, or inlaid
work. Tahita shells, largo flat mothcr-of-pairl
shells, aro worth from $1,50 to
4 each, and tho finest selocted pairs are
sometimes sold for as much as $50.
One of the forest curiosities of the
Isthmus of Dnrien and lower Central
Amir' - is tho tree killer (matapalo).
This Marts in life as a climber upon tin
trunks of large forest trees, aud, owing
to its marvelously rapid growth, soon
reaches tho lower branches. It then be
gius to throw out many shoots, which en
tw ine thetnselve all around tho trunk
oiid branches, mid also aerial tendrils,
which, as soon as they reach tho ground
tako root. In a few years this gigantic
parasite will completely envelop the trunk
of the tree which has upheld it, and kill
It. Tho wholo of the inner dead tree
will then rot away, leaving tho hollow
matapalo standing alone and flourishing-
Experiments have recently been made
by Dr. Younger, of San Francisco, on the
subject of tho transplantation of teeth
with a view to their growth in tho new
position. It would appear that, if proper
precautions bo taken to securo perfect
appositim and cleanliness.hc operation
is often attended with success, and pos
sesses many advantages over tho use of
false teeth. Tho inflammation of tho
gums, however, is somewhat persistent,
and constitutes a drawback, from the in--convenionce
which results therefrom.
Recourse to this method is more particu
larly indicated when tho teeth to be re
placed are front teeth, and essential both
for appearances' sake, and for perfect ar
ticulation. In the opinion of M. Cambicr, Chief
Roadmastcr of the French Government
railways, tho best plan yet discovered
for consolidating, by the interlacing of
its roots, the looso .oil of a newly made
embankment is the double poppy. Ten
years' trial has enabled M. Cumbier, as
he says, to gnaranteo that tho poppy will
be found far more efficient for this pur
poso than any of the grasses or clovers
usually employed; and while these re
quire several months for tho develop
ment of their comparatively feeble roots,
the double poppy germinates in a few
days, aud in two weeks grows enough to
give some protection to tho slope, while
at the end of three or four months the
roots, which are ten or twelve inches
long, are found to have interlaced so as
to retain tho earth far moro firmly than
those of any grass or grain. Although
the plant is an annual, it sows itsdf
after the first year, and with a little care
the bank is always in good condition.
The subject and facts of longevity
have been made almost a life's study by
Professor Humphrey, of London. His
investigations show that in tho first year
of life tho mortality among males is much
greater than among females the latter,
therefore, have the start of tho former at
the very beginning, in inherent vitality.
The average height of women he has
found to be five feet three inches and of
men five feet six incite ; in pulse aud
respiration, also, the women have the ad
vantage, showing eighty-nine in com
parison wth the men's seventy-three,
while the latter's respiration is nineteen
as agtinst twenty-two of the weaker sow
The bones of men and women which, up
to maturity, increased in weight, after
that period lost considerably, though
with no decrease in size, but more often
an increase, to which latter fact may be
attributed the bony appearance presented
by many old people. The average num
ber of teeth in meu un 1 women above
eighty years of age was six aud three
respectfully. Tho greater proportion of
thee old-lived people, Professor Hum
phrey found, came of long-lived families.
HALF OF MY L.1FB.
"Half of my life is gone, and I have let
The years slip from me, and bare not ful
filled The aspiration of my youth to build
Some tower of song with lofty parapet
Not indolence, or pleasure, nor the fret
Of restless passions that would not be
stilled; ,
Butaorrow and a care that almost killed,
Kept me from what I may accomplish yet,
Though half-way up the hill, I see the Past
Lying beneath me with its sounds and
sights;
A city in the twilight dim and vast,
With smoking roofs, soft bells, and gleam
ing lights,
Aud hear above me, on the autumnal blast
The cataract of Death far thundering from
tho heights."
Longfellow, from his Piography.
A WIFE'S GRIEVANCE.
"Maybe I'd go to Boston with you,
Warren, if urged," said young Mrs. Ger
rish, archly, standing on tiptoe to smooth
down her husband's nodding scalp lock.
"It's too late to think of it too late
altogether," cried Mr. Ucrrish, in haste,
rushing to his desk and scattering the
papers like a Dakota blizzard. "Where's
my bank-book? Seen it, Mabel?"
"There, Warren; 1 forgot to tell you.
I thought it would bo safer behind the
clock, '
"Safer behind tho fiddlesticks," cogi
tated tho annoyed husband, as ho tipped
over tin timepiece in laying hold of the
missing property ; but being a gentleman,
he merely remarked impressively t at
ten to one he shou.d lose tho train.
"It's only eight, Warren. You've half
an hour."
"But I've I've something to attend to
before going to tho station," he stam
mered, obviously embarrassed.
"Oh!" Mrs. Gerrish dropped her ques
tioning brown eye, flushing hotly. Why
did her husband reject her proffered
company? And what was this mysteri
ous errand that he would not tell of?
"Good-by, wifekin. Take care of
yourself till I see you," ho added, in a
friendlier tone, as he jumped into his
carriage.
"Well, I must say!" ejaculated tho lit
t.e lady, frowning after the retreating
vehicle. But she did not say it. In
stead, she set the clock on its legs again,
and fell to musing.
She was sorry she had vexed Warren
by meddling with his bank book, but he
need not have been so cross. What did
he want of tho book, anyway? Had he
not only yesterday told her that he didn't
owo a cent in tho world? And why
this was a vital query why had he gone
oil without her, too preoccupied to saatch
a good-by kiss? Last week ho had left
her behind in the same way. Sho would
not havo minded tho neglect so much if
it had not afterward come to her ears
that hn had gone straight from her to
Miss Ebbitt, and escorted that young
lady to tho city. He never had hinted a
word about it. Mrs. Gerrish secretly
hoped the rumor wasn't true, but it was
shocking to have the neighbors talking.
And now to think that, after -humbling
herself to ask her husband to take her,
she should havo me', with a flat refusal !
The stroke of nine surprised her just this
side of tears. Was it possible she had.
idled away a wholo hour in arrangin
tho writing desk, and bridget gone for
the week?
Hurrying into the kitchen to wash tho
breakfast dishes, her eyes rested on a
quaint-looking man in the doorway.
".Mornin', Miss Gerrish," said he, dof
fing his hat for coolness rather thau cour
tesy. "Good-morning, Undo Jabez," re
sponded she, kiiuily. "Have you como
to split me some kiudlings?"'
"Sartain, ma'am. I suspicionc-d you
must bo about out," said the village fac
totum, wiping his bald knob of a crown,
which rose above its encircling fringe
like tho seed-vessel of a poppy above its
corolla.
"I knew your husband wasn't here to
do for you," ho continued, putting his
hnt on ngain with a screwing motion, as
if it were the cover of a fruit jar. "I'd
been clearing out the Widde'r Ebbitt's
pipes, and I was crawling along on her
rug, when Mr. Gerrish drove up for
Jinny. He didn't have to wait. On tho
flat of her foot Jinny is, for all her fuss
and feathers."
"Did they catch the train?" faltered
tho young wife, her face averted.
"Yes, ma'am, they catehed it. I asked
Hiram Blodgett when he fetched your
horse back to the store," unswered 1,'ncle
Jabez, his confiding blue eyes fixed on
the sky. "I'm jealous of a shower,
ma'am. Remember that pealer we had
the last time your husband took Jinny to
Boston?"
"Last Thursday, do you mean?"
queried Mrs. Gerrish, anxiously. That
miserable rumor might be true. She
was ready to believe anything.
"It strikes me 'twas Thursday. Yes,
ma'am, 'twas a week ago to-day, fori was
in tho Widder Ebbitt's stable mendin'
hercrib when your husband drove in with
Jinny. The water was a-streakin' it oil
o' the kerridge, but he'd wropped Jinny
complete, o't she skipped out dry as a
grasshopper. She told him she wasiio
end grateful for his care, and faith she'd
orter been; for if he hadn't held her
bhawl round her so, her silk gownd would
'a been spotted hitherty yonder."
"What did ho say to that, uncle?"
"Oh, he was even with her, ma'am.
'I'm the one obleegcd, Mis Jinny, says
he. 'You know you're everything to
me.' I lost tho rest, ho spoke so low."
"Yes, certainly," murmured the da.ed
little wife, absently shuttiug Lucie Jabez
into the shed.
Mist Ebbitt everything to Warren by
Warren's own confession! Could she.
trust her own ears? Eccentric and scatter-brained
Uncle Jabez might be, but
deaf or prone to mischief he was not.
She could not for a moment doubt his
word. That her husband should be
seeking clandestine interviews with any
lady was enough; that the lady thus
sought should bo Miss Ebbitt was beyond
endurance I In her fierce perturbation
Mrs. Gerrish hardly heard the crash of
the sugar-bowl that slipped from her
hand. Who would heed breaking china
when the very sky was falling? To bo
frank, from the time she came to Oak
land a bride, Mrs. Gerrish had suffered
intermittent spasms of jealousy on ac
count of this same Miss Ebbitt. She
had never been able to forget a jesting
remark made by one of her best callers.
"Among our village celebrities we
reckon Miss Ebbitt, our talented organ
ist," the guest had said. "Really. Mrs.
Gerrish, I must hasten to introduce you
to your husband's old flame."
"Old flame!" the coarse words
rankle;. One moment the young wife
would resolve to repeat them to her hus
band, the next she would shrink from
alluding to them, feeling that if he had
once loved Miss Ebbitt, she would rather
not be assured of the fact. She recalled
the nervous headache produced by that
unpleasant visit. How devoted Warren
hud been, so grieved by her suffering,
that for shame's sake she could not have
hinted at its cause. Dear old fellow, of
course he had loved her then, and of
course ho loved her now.
Uncle Jabez's distracting gossip could
be easily explained. To think otherwise
was absurd.
'' Jehu 1 I was satisfied I heerd some
thing smash," cried that simple individ
ual, pushing the door ajar with his moc
casincd toe, and shuttling in, his arms full
of wood. "There, there, ma'am, I
wouldn't take on so about the chancy.
Your husband won't feel getting you a
new sugar dish, bein' he's in the crockery
line."
" It breaks the set, you see," equivo
cated the proud little matron, humoring
his conceit. Better pass for a ninny than
a jealous wife.
"We all have our pesters," philoso
phized Uncle Jabez, placing the sticks
in the wood-box with fond deliberation.
"Now you know how 'twas at my house
last spring. My wife was sick, and I
had a narrer squeak to get along; but
now my wife's dead, and I'm out of debt,
and I thank the Lord I Hullo! here's
Lunt's team."
The entering grocer nodded affably to
Mrs. Gerrish as he dropped his parcels
upon the table. "Warm morning,
ma'am. Shower brewing. Mr. Gerrish
to be gone long?"
"Only till noon. He has runup to Bos
ton." "Oh, I supposed ho was going further.
Noticed he carried a valise, and got
checks for New York."
"Guess ho was secin' to Jinny Eb
bitt's traps," volunteered Uncle jabez,
following the grocer out to beg a ride.
"She's started for New York. They're
tinkerin' he meet in'-house, and she's free
toiunoff."
"And to stay off, for all of me," mut
tered the little matron, sweeping up tho
scattered sawdust with a spiteful flirt of
her broom. "Why didn't Warren tell
me sho was going? He's amazingly coy
about speaking of his old love."
Old love in more senses than one.
Miss Ebbitt was thirty at least, for all
she would persist in dressing as youth
fully as herself nineteen this very day!
What ravishing bonnets the coquette did
wear, and what airs she did put on in the
choir, where she always sut next to Mr.
Gerrish! Often whispering to him too.
Was it necessary for organist and choris
ter everlastingly to confer with each
other? In that case, aggrieved Mrs.
Gerrish wished that she might be the
organist herself. With a little more
practice in the u?e of pedals, she was
suro she could play as well Miss Ebbitt.
At all events, she could have played as
well before she left her father's home and
the dear piano. Warren had praised her
execution in those days. He needn't
trouble himself to praise it again, if
Jenny Ebbitt was "everything to him."
What else had he to say to MUs Jenny
that day? Had shebeen in Uncle Jabez's
place, Mrs. Gerrish felt sure she should
nave heard every word, had her husband
whispered never so softly. Was he at the
present moment holding Miss Jenny's
shawl about her in the cars, as he had
held it in the carriage? Didn't the woman
possess a shawl-pin f
Ten o'clock, and the dishes unwashed!
Tho belated little housekeeper bared her
dimpled arms and made a feint of haste;
but the stroke of eleven found her hands
still in soapsuds, and her thoughts in
Boston. Warren called Miss Ebbitt a
superior woman. Pity he hadn't married
her!
Twelve o'clock! Well, by this time
he had doubtless seen Miss Jenny off to
New York, and he must be on the train
for home. She would put the pudding
in to bake.
At one, the usual hour of dining, the
pudding was dough, and the lamb not
half roasted. What ailed the oven? For
once in his life her husband would have
to wait for his dinner. Mrs. Gerrish said
to heiself that she didn't care. Ho had
been partaking of an intellectual feast
with Miss Jenny; he must make that do.
But when at two o'clock the dinner was
smoking in the warming oven, she
chafed at his non-appearance. Why
sho.-ild he delay on this of all days, while
the heavens bewailed a furious tempest?
Ho knew her dread of lightning. He
had never before neglected her so
cruelly. What if absurd fancy what
if he had really gone on a journey, as
the grocer had supposed ! Chiding her
self for the thought, sho rushed up
stairs to prove its fallacy. Through
gathering gloom she glided straight to
her husband's closet, suggestively open.
Where was the valise that had stood in
one comer? Where indeed? The space
it had filled mocked her with its blank
ness. A new suit fresh from the tailor's
had also vanished yes, and the bank
book! In pity's name, why had her hus
band needed that? Had he gone on to
New York with Miss ENjbiit? Tiansfixed
with horror at tho suspicion, the miser
able young wife glared ai. the dismantled
wardrobe till routed to physical fear by
a terrific thunderbolt. Then, half
frenzied, she lighted tho lamp, drew the
shutters, and flung herself on the bed.
In the grasp of that memorable tempest
the cottage trembled like a living thing,
and the ground shook as with an earth
quake. Older and braver women than
Mrs. Gerrish shuddered that day, and she,
poor fasting soul, was all a ie, and bat
tling with her first anguish. Oh, the cru
elty of it! Gradually the storm subsided.
Sho grew calmer. Spent with cxrte
ment, she may have drowsed. Sudqfc nly
she started up in a panic. The ctck
was striking five. The September night
was shutting down upon her. She could
not confront it unattended; but, on the
other hand, how could she proclaim her
desertion totho neighbors? Could she
ever tell living mortal of tho tress of
hair hidden among her husband's old
letters a snaky curl just the shade of
Miss Ebbitt's? Shrouded in misery, lit
tle Mrs. Gerrish buried herself again
among the pillows.
From this premature interment .some
body exhumed her five minutes later
somebody with broad shoulders, and
beard slightly frosted with gray her
own husband, in fact.
"Frightened, Mabel?" cried he, blink
ing at tho lamp-light. "Why, my
blessed girl, the shower is qulto over.
See how bright it is?"
He threw back the shutlers, and let
the sun shine full into .her tenrful eyes.
"What why how did you happen
to come back?" gasped she, fluttering
from his embrace with the dignity of an
insulted sparrow.
"Cordial query, little wifel I came
for my dinner, but it seems I was not ex
pected." "Dinner!" Mrs. Gerrish choked with
indignation. To be put off like a baby
in this manner was too humiliating.
Her husband regarded her in surprise.
"How ill you look!" ho said, tenderly.
"Strange thunder showers should pros
trate you so. Don't try to come down.
I'll forage for myself in the pantry. Must
bolt my dinner in order to be at the store
at 2."
"At 2? It chances to be past 5 al
ready." "Past 5? My dear Mabel, how inco
herently you are talking! Don't tell me
you've been struck by lightning !" cried
he, in real concern. "Look at my watch.
It's just a quarter past one."
"One two three four live six,
disputed the clock below, with lying im
pudence. Mr. Gerrish threw back his head and
fairly roared with laughter. "Oh, that's
the game, is it? So much for my tipping
tho thing over taking time by the fore
lock, as you might say. But, dearie,
how strange that you didn't suspect that
the clock was going two hours in one!
How absorbed you must have been this
morning!"
"More absorbed than you were?"
queried Mrs. Gerrish, viciously.
"Well, no, Pussy, maybe not," re
sponded her sublimely unconscious hus
band, with a roguish twinkle. "You
see, this is young Mrs. Gerrish's first
birthday, and I've been deeply engrossed
in choosing a gift worthy of her."
"Warren!"
"We've been engrossed, I should say.
Jenny Ebbitt's judgment has been every
thing to me. We didu't find everything
satisfactory last week, and had to wait
till to-day for the new lot; but Jenny de
clares that we've at last hit upon the
sweetest-toned piano in Boston. I'm
dreadfully cut up because you can't have
it on your birthday ; but you can try it
to-morrow. Meanwhile, here's the bill
of sale, made out in your name, as you'll
perceive. Mrs. Gerrish allow me to
present it to you with your husband's
love."
"Warren, Warren, you're lots too good
forme," sobbed his little wife, with self
upbraidings as wild as her grammar.
"Nonsence, goosie; no man created
could be that," jested he, highly flat
tered. He thought her simply over
wrought by the fierce tempest without.
Of the fiercer tempest that had raged
within he knew nothing, either then or
afterward.
Next day, along with tho piano, came
Mr. Gerrish's valiso containing tho suit
left at the tailor's for alteration. And
the post brought a letter from Miss Eb
bitt. The writer had secured a lucra
tive position as organist in a New York
church; might she resign her former
situation in favor of Mrs. Gerrish?
"How kind of her! It's more than I
deserve, Warren," cried the contrite
young wife.
And it gratified her husband to see
that she put the letter carefully away in
the very drawer which held her dead
sister's curl. l'enn Hhirtey, in Bazar.
An Armor Plate Thut No Shot Can
Pierce.
Tho latest victory in the long drawn
match between the gun and the armor
plate has been scored in favor of armor.
At Spezzia a German chilled steel
armor plate, five feet nine inches in
thickness, weighing 100 tons, was fixed
against the face of the cliff, and battered
with chilled shot from the 100-ton gun.
A thunderbolt weighing almost exactly a
ton was hurled against the face of the
plate by tho explosion of 7 J cwt. of
powder without producing more than a
slight indentation and some trilling
crac ks. Three shots failed to make any
serious impression on the plate, which
has thus come off victor in the struggle.
It would seem that no shot yet invented
w ill go through six feet of chilled steel.
I'ull .Vail OaiHtt.
They have fogs so dense in Pittsburg
that the citizens use them to stuff pillow,
and mattreaaas with. WaMwton Critic. I
HOUSEHOLD AFFAIRS.
Ilints and Itccipes.
Wash the hair in cold sage tea.
To remove ink stains soak in sour milk
over night.
To brighten and clean old alapaca
wash in coffee.
To brighten carpets sprinkle with salt
before sweeping.
AVhcn cooking beans add one-half tea
spoon of saleratus.
To polish a stove rub with a newspaper
instead of a brush.
Mix stove polish with vinegar and a
teaspoonful of sugar.
To remove tea stains from cups and
saucers scour with ashes.
Soft waffles One quart of milk, four
eggs, one-quarter of a pound of butter,
yeast; to be made as thin as pan cakes.
To remove grease from wall paper lay
several folds of blotting paper on the
spot and hold a hot iron near it until the
grease is absorbed.
Crackers that aro not fresh can be made
to appear so by putting them into a hot
oven for a short time. Watch them care
fully, as a minute too long will serve to
brown and spoil them.
A good potato, when cut, will show a
light cream color, and a white froth will
be the result produced by rubbing the
cut surface together. Reject that variety
where drops of water appear. Another
test is to put potatoes into a solution of
salts; tho good will sink, tho poor float.
Bishop's bread Beat bjtorteen ounces
of sugar with the yolks of six eggs and
the whites of three for 'half an hour.
Then add slowly eight ounces of flour,
six ounces of blanched almonds cut in
thin strips, six ounces of raisins aud
three ounces of citron cut in fine pieces.
Pour in a well-gressed pan and bake
slowly.
To bleach a sponge, soak it well in
dilute muriatic acid twelve hours. Wash
well with water to remove the lime, then
immerse it in a solution of hyposulphite
of soda, to which dilute muriatic acid
has been added a moment before. At: :
it is bleached sufficiently remove it,
wash it again and dry it. It may thus
be bleached almost suow white.
Birds' ne t pudding Peel and core
eight tart apples ; in each hollow stuff
sugar and a little cinnamon ; make a but
ter of a pint of flour, a spoonful of corn
starch, a large teaspoonful of baking
powder and a spoonful of melted butter.
Mix with milk to the consistency ol
drop-cake, pour over the applies and
bake three-quarters of an hour. Eat
with sauce.
Petroleum jelly serves to clean and
take away all traces of dirt from the
hands after work in the shop or labo
ratory. For that purpose, yo.i need only
rub the hands with a small amount of the
jelly, which, penetrating into the pores
of the skin, incorporates itself with the
greasy matters which nre there. Wash
them with warm water and Castile soap,
and the hands become cleansed and soft
ened. A palatable supper dish Line a veg
etable dish with well-seasoned mashed
potatoes; leave a large space in tho
centre, wet it over with the white of an
egg, or with milk sweetened with a very
little sugar, and put it in the oven to
brown delicately; take about two dozen
oysters, and a little milk, with butter,
EeppeT- ana salt, ana let it come to a
oil on tho top of the stove. Put in
with the oysters a few thin slices of cold
roast beet; when this is sufliciently
heated and the oysters cooked, pour it
into the space left in the potato-lined
dish.
Some Washington Callers.
I am reminded, apropos of nothing at
all, of the difficulties foreigners have in
learning the customs of the American
Court, says the New Orleans 1'irayuneU
astnngton correspondent. The green
members of the various legations some
times make funny mistakes. It is well
known and laughed at, the little error of
the foreign Minister who called on a
lady one afternoon, and when leaving
was invited to come again, lie mad.
a deep obeisance, departed, and in half
an hour called ngain, repeating his visit
with as much formality as on tlie first oc
casion. He h.id been asked to call
again, ana courtesy in ms country re
quired the command to be instantly
obeyed.
On another occasion a member of a
Celestial Legation made his first call on a
lady. He stayed an hour, two, three
four. He could speak but little Eng
lish, and looked bored, worried and
bothered to death. His enforced hostess
was at her wit's ends, but still the luck
less visitor stayed on. She called in her
husband, nnd they entertained the at
tache in relays.relieving one another like
guards of a camp. Finally, at the end
of the7thhour,withlho humblest manner
and great deprecation, the visitor asked
forgiveness for the mortal offence of re
tiring from the fray. Tho joke then
came out. The poor fellow had been pa
tiently waiting to be dismissed, as was
the c ustom in his own country.
A certain young lady living in Wash
ington earns a tine salary by teaching
American small talk to these! young at
taches who are great beaux in society,
lb r plan is simple enough. Her pupil
c ills, is received, and converses with his
hostess teacher for two hours. The talk
is confined to drawing-room topics. This
wicked young teacher taught six young
fellows precisely the same round of
pretty and wi'ty phrases, and at a cer
tain grand ball they were hovering
around Miss Daisy Kickelts, one of the
youngest and most popular of the Wash
Ington gills, and each and everyone was
Baying the same things to her.
. ,. . . . .
, lf the ,n,"ht ?'r 18 ""wholesome, why
do owl hvu long.JWwi Wcklu.
NEXT-DOOR NEIGHBORS.
One cottage porch, with open door,
Shelters a nestling brood and mother; '
Jpon tho toy besprinkled floor
A sturdy baby guards the other,
The maples and the cherry-trees
Shut in the boys and birds together,
a.nd here the honey-scented bees
Are busy all the summer weather.
The farmer husband, early, late,
Tilling his land, his produce selling,
By thrift compels unfriendly Fate;
He makes a home of labor telling,
Broad barns and swelling stacks of grail,
I at, placid sheep, contented cattle.
Prove that his toil is not in vain.
And mark the progress of the battle.
lis round-faced wife, with chubby boyij
Goes briskly by in rattling wagon;
The pewee, frightened at the noise,
Parts from her net, poor timid dragon!
Whirling about, with ruffled crest,
Her mate pursues her, tender, savage,
As who should say: "Beloved, beet,
Who'd dare this happy home to ravage?"
The stubborn farmer would but scorn
The plucky spirit of his neighbor,
That lightsome heart, of sunshine born,
That sings its songs to sweeten labor;
Yet bound are both in love's own chain,
Each tethered to a central dnty,
To the house-mother, with her pain,
And the bird-mothor, with her beauty.
D. II. R. Ooodale, in Youth's Companion.
HUMOR OF THE DAT.
Always ready to strike The police
man. The interests of the butchers are always
at steak.
Somebody has written a book entitled :
"What Shall my Son be?" Has he failed
as a baseball player? If not, there is
still hope. Call.
"Love is blind." True, true. The
young man never discovers the dog until
it is too late to escape in a dignified
manner. Philadelphia Item.
It is boldly asserted that the American
hen is not doing her duty. She stands
Bround doing nothing, and expects ihe
patent incubators to carry the heavy end
of the contract. Philadelphia Call.
"Now, miss," concluded a pompous
young Pittsburger, "I've given you a
bird's-eye view of the whole subject.
Have I not!" "You have," was tho be
wildering response; "a goose's." Pitts
burg Bulletin.
A man In Lawrence, Kan., has been ar
rested for burglary. He attempted to
prove an alibi by declaring that he had
been out fishing, but he couldn't produce
any fish and was held for trial. Here is
a state of things. A string of fish abso
lutely necessary to prove that a man has
been fishing! This is against all prece
dent. Kanaaa City Journal.
He called at six, and then remained
Until the midnight bells had rung.
And it was two o'clock. The maiil
Was anrry at the way he stayed;
At length she said her tone was hot
"You are a striker, are you not?"
"How sol" his eyes he ofened wide;
'Twos then the little maid replied:
"At least vou'reonen to improvement: '
I see you're in the eight-hour movement.
Tid-Bits.
Ship-Worms.
There are several species of what are
popularly called shi)-worms, which err
ordinarily included under the name of
teredo. Although they have a worm-like
appearance, they are not worms, but
shell-bearing mollusks as much as the
"common long-necked clam" of the At
lantic const of the United States.
The teredo is not particular as to the
kind of timber into which it bores, but
always goes with the grain, unless it
meets with some obstacle, such as a nail
or very hard knot. It is not believed that
the wood it perforates furnishes any nutri
ment to the animal, but that its susten
ance is cTcrived entirely from tho watei
which is constantly passing through ita
body.
Upon the water fronts cf San Fran
cisco, I have known (says a writer) piles
of Oregon pine and fir, over a fcot in
diameter, rendered worthless in eighteen
months, and have heard of even a more
rapid destruction of wharf piles in the
harbor of the city. In the case which
fame under my notice as above, the wood
of the pile had not lost its original fresh
ness when it had to bo removed irom the
wharf, and a new one put in its place.
One caso occurred of the destruction
of the supports of a small pair of piles in
six weeks. The money loss cntaihdby
these little mollusks upon private parties
and business corporations engaged in
commercial marine enterprises, aud on
the naval equipment ami appurtenances,
is enormous, and has led to a number of
experiments by governments and invent
ors, for the protection of woodwork used
in marine structures; but from the result
of experiments, it is believed that the
constitution jf the ship-worm is poison
proof. The palmetto tree of tho Southern
States is said to be never bored by the
ship-worm, and some Australian woods
have similar immunity.
The Pen.
Kvery graceful hbadod lino,
Strength ami ln-uuty does eoinbino
'Tis the jH'iiuyiu s ihdu to ilruw
Each lair ei i vo without a Haw.
Records of ull deeds and times,
Hoasler's brug and "o"t s rhymes.
Jtinle or artful, still inut be
tluly writ, bright (eu, bv tlni,
Oil! what porter for good or ill
Kept in hands tliut show thy skill.
Surely for sneli 1 ower and might,
Swift to a' t aud tt.roU to siniUi,
Teiiiwei like Iauias its' b'title,
Kveu, truu aud perfect made,
Th' pen! the unrivaled pen
Lea-Is the roll with living nu n,
And exalts the, race
Hy tiwint; ileud of living grace;
Not for foul purpose wrought
Stained with siu or evil thought
iWimuii' Art tuurnal.