T" THE FOREST REPUBLICAN I anbN.had arsrjr Wadaaadar, bf J. 2. WENK. Oliloa la Smenrbaugh & Co.'u Building aU.lt 8TKBHT, TIONKSTA, ra. RATES OF APVCRTtSIMO. One Square, on Inch, one In.ertlon.. ..I 1 M One Square, one Inch, ene month . t 00 (ne Square, one Inch, three mrotlia. . set One Fqaare, one hieh, one year It M Two Square, one year J M Cjnarler Column, one year. M M Half Column, ene year M ts One Column, one jear ..,.......1M to Tgal adTertlaementa ten ceata per II .eaek In lerttoa. Marriage and death nolle, caatla. All bllla for yoarly idanminMi aalaa.ad aaaa. Iprly. Temporary adiaikemanu aoaal be paM la advance. Job work eaeh on deMrary. -4 M Terms, 1.60 per Year. No anaaarlptlont rweivfd for a shorter parlod lain tarwmnniha. Oarrapaa1mce tallcltfd from alt Mrii f the cuaatrr. Nonatlcewlll be taken of anonjmcmi VOL. IVIII. NO. 9. TIONESTA, PA., WEDNESDAY, JUNE 17. 1885. $1,50 PEE ANNUM. if) 1 X AN ASPIHATION. Behold Tho pnHh ltn verdure gain Tij caverned fires and treasured rains, Unseen by mortal eyea; Ten as the sea Its force conceal, Till time and fate the strength reveals That In it bosom lies. BuchRrr.wth-sueh force, l mine toknow; i-t e.cret strength within me glow, With honor's fire upraise; And crown my life's perfected sphere Willi acts and words, that, mortal heroi Khali win immortal praise. .T. A. Dncus, in The Current. LAWYER AND PARSON. The Rev. Dr. Helton was just begin ning to fcol at home In his new parson age when he wag surprised one evoning to receive a cull from his classmate Har vey Leigh. In collcgo day they had been friends, and for awhilo aftor their graduation they had exchnnged letters and visits; but tho letters and visits had come to an end long ago, and it was Wany years sinco they had met. As they sat in tho book-lined study, each eyed the other curiously. Years sat lightly en Mr. Leigh, and "he was dressed fashionably, almost youthfully. In his dark red neck scarf was thrust a gold dog's hoad with ruby eyes, and to the ar.son tho scarf nod tho dog's head suggested s sporting character, and bo wondered mildly that a high ly respectable, prosperous, middle-aged lawyer should thus adorn his person. "Welt," Mr. Leigh said, "and how do jou fancy the idea of becoming a metro politan preacher, and seeing your sermon garbled in Monday morning's paper?" "The papers didn't garble my sermon Ahis week,'' tho doctor said. " "On tho contrary, the reporters picked out tho best and overlooked the worst in the kindest and most llattcring fashion." Mr. Leigh luughei. "You won't be amiable to reporters whon you know them better. This is quite a change from your old lifo, and au agreeable change, no doubt. Or do you believe thntiiissj Jjfude tho country and man tuade the Town.?'' v. -t "I believe that God made them loth', and man tries his best to spoil both," the parson answered. "Ah, that's neat very neat. By the way, I ought to call you doctor. I read your book on the Atonement with a good deal of pleasure." The parson winced, but Mr. Loigh did not observe that. "I don't wonder the college doctored you for it, though your ideas must seem rather liberal to the musty old fogies who peddle out Latin and Greek and theol ogy." "I came near being one of tho musty old fogies myself," said Dr. Melton. "They wanted me to bo a professor, but I prefer to be a parson." 'A city parson," said his guest. "I am not so sure about the city part," Dr. Melton said, slowly. "It was pleas ant up therein tho country ;-I was at tached to my people; I likod to potter about in ray garden. I was astonished when I received a call from New York. I don't know that I would have accepted it if one of my deacons had not had a Frornismg son ready to fill my place, and think that my congregation rather liked the idea of a young dominie. I had about come to the conclusion that I should live and die a country parson ; but here I am." "With six thousand dollars a year and a comfortablo house," added Mr. Leigh. The parson frowned. "A man with four children has no right to slight a chance of bettering his fortune; but it was not the money that brought me to New York. There is work here " He broke off suddenly, perhaps because he saw the shadow of a sneer on Mr. Leigh's lips. "And you are still living in Phila delphia?" he asked. 'Yes, indeed; I would not live any where else. New Yorkers may turn up their noses and call it a villago, but Philadelphia suits peoplo who belong to the old Quaker stock." "You have a son, I believe, to per petuate the name?" the parson remarked. "One son an only child. Morton is twenty-four.and reading law in my ollico. A bright fellow too; never gives me a moment's uneasiness; always at work; steady-going; no boyish nonsense about him." "Twenty-four," the parson repeated, "and no boyish nonsense about him J There is a good deal of nonsense about my boys, 1 am hap sorry to say. Still, 1 hope they won't disgrace mo. Their mother thinks they are all right, and I am learning every day of my life that my wisdom, as compared with others, is beneath contempt. I can hardly believe you have a sou twenty-four. Why, you are a spruce young man yourself." "Thanks to a lifo free from excesses of any kind," said Mr. Leigh. "And I married eariy I advocate an early mar riage, if u man has money enough to support a family. This waiting to scrape together a paltry income is terribly hard on a young man. Yes, 1 married early, and I have every reason to believe that my son will follow my example." "And when is your boy to marry?" aBked the doctor. "Oh, it is not quite arranged yet." "So you arrange marriages in Phila delphia? And this particular marriage is not quite arranged? Humph! I don't understand that sort of thing. Up in the country it is, 'Mary, I love you,' and 'Jack, 1 love you in return,' and then my services are called for. How does one arrange a marriage in Philadelphia?" The touch of sarcasm was quite lost on Mr. Leigh, who had crossed his legs, and sat absorbiug in thought, frowning at the patent leather tip of his neat shoe. Hit) host watched him until he uncrossed his legs ami lookeil up, "Have you any daughters, doctor?'' he asked. "Two of them." "Grown up?" "I hope so; otherwise they will tower over my head." "And do you understand them?" asked Mr. Leigh, with a gravity that mado tho parson's blue eyes twinkle and tho corners of his mouth twitch. "Oh, no, I don't understand them; I don't understand any creature in petti coats; but my daughters are good girls, and their mother assures mo that they are remarkably gifted. . What do I want to understand them for?" "It might bo an advantage under somo circumstances," Mr. Leigh re marked. "What is tho matter! What girl do you think it might be an advantage to understond?" "My ward," answered Mr. Leigh. " She is an orphan, a far-away cousin of my wife, and sho has lived with us for the past five years. She has a nice lit tle fortune; sho Is pretty; sho is well bred" "That goes without saying," mut tered tho parson, stroking his long beard. . "Hut sho hasn't a grain of common sense." Mr. Leigh rose, took up a posi tion on the rug, slipped his left hand under the short tails of his cut-away coat, and gesticulated with his right as ho warmed to his Story. "Last sum mer," he began, "sho was twenty-ono, and just out of school. She went to Cape May with the Phippards, peoplo in whom I placed the utmost confidence. I thought she was safe with them; but lo and behold ! she must make the acquaint ance of a yomg gentleman who held tho responsible position of bookkeeper in one of our large hardware shops, a retail concern, and he has sold many a paper of tacks over the counter. I was in Eu rope; so this interesting tack-seller ran down to Cape May every Sun day, and staid until Monday. Then ho had a clerk's two weeks' va cation, and he spent that at Capo May. I came back in October, and before I had been home twenty-four hours who should call at tho house but this young man? Ho wanted to see me, and I saw him, and I was informed by him that he had wooed and won my ward. I asked if he proposed to tako her to live over tho shop." Mr. Leigh's thin lips curled down ward ; ho glanced at the parson for sympathy, but ho encountered a tteady, somewhat critical look. " Why thouldn't they live over the shop? " Dr. Melton said. "Oh, you don't understand," Mr. Leigh exclaimed, fretfully. "Sho bus been brought up in luxury, and sho ought to have some idea of what is proper and fittinir. There has been a terrible time. Why, I assure you I have had tho sympathy of all Philadelphia. This hardware man had tho effrontery to say that he had money enough to take caro of a wife, just as though he had never thought of my ward's little fortune. He begged me to go and see his em ployers peoplo I never heard of and I told him that I did not want their recom mendations; I did not propose to hire a bookkeeper. He was insolent, and I ordered him out. Then she blazed away at me, the weak, infatuated girl. I tried to reason with her; my wife talked to her; my son well, you see, iny son wanted to marry her, too, and he would have made just the husband for her, but she told him if he spoke to her she would ask her hardware man to protect her. Think of itl As though Morton would insult her the best-mannered man that ever lived." "Aud Morton is very fond of her," he continued "so fond of her, in fact, that he is waiting like a hero for this to blow over. I think the farce is nearly ended, for the hardware man became partner the other day in a nail factory or something of that sort, and a week ago he sailed for Europe. Ho will have to stay a year, traveling for his firm, and when ho comes back: " Mr. Leigh broke oil b smile astutely aud to drop the lid over his left eye. "I don't exactly understand your ob jections to him," said Dr. Melton slow ly. "Does he driuk or keep low com pany?" "No," answered Mr. Leigh; "but " "I beg your pardon," said the doctor, interrupting him, "but 1 want to speak in his behalf. He must be industrious, and no fool, and prospering, or he would not have jumped into this new position. I confess I don't think you have made out a clear case. Of course you want to see your son happy; but if she does not love your son, that ends the matter. And if she docs lovo this other (man, and ho is honest and upright, why should he not have her?" "Ho is not her equal," said Mr. Loigh. "You know in Philadelphia " The parson rose up with a stifled ex clamation. "It is warm in here," he said. "I want a little fresh air; I am not used to a furnace-heated house. Poor girl I The city has not yet claimed me for its own, and i miss tho tire-placc in my old study. Poor fellow 1" lie threw up the window, and looked out on a wide expanse of tiny high-fenced back yarde; but overhead was the clear sea of sky, where the moon rode at an chor amid the fleet of stars. He stood there, drawing in the crisp December air, until a tap sounded on tho door. "Come in," he cried, and one of his daughters entered a tall, slim girl with her fathers blue eyes. "Papa," she said, pressing close to hi:n, and smiling mysteriously, "there are some people in the parlor." "Drawing-room, my dear," said tho doctor. "We are in Philadelphia." 'Ve are not. but no matter,1' she re turned. "I tell you there are some peo ple in the parlor, and 1 think it is our lir.st town wedding. She is very pretty, aud she has on the loveliest litt'e bonnet you ever saw. (Jo iuarry"em quick, und let me be a witness, ouly they have two witutissvs with them." Ho passed his arm about her and kissed her, she did not know why; then led her to his guest. "Mollie, this is a classmate of mine. My daughter, Mr. Leigh Mr. Harvey Leigh, of Philadelphia. You must ex cuse me for a few minutes." He went into the adjoining parlor. Yes, it was a wedding-party, no doubt, but tho would-be bride and groom did not look like the brides and groom that seek out a parson in such a fashion. The man was a gentleman, with a fine face and dignified bearing. The girl was pretty, but more than that, she had an air of courage, of self-reliance; she was not a weak piece of pink and white flesh. An older couple was with them, a some what frightened middle-aged man and a very nervous middlo-aeed woman, evi dently his wife, for eho clung to his arm helplessly. "I am William Dunbar." said the young man. The parson shook hands with him. "And this," he added, turn ing to the young lady, "is Miss Kate Perry. We are both of ago in fact, I am thirty-three and I hope you will be good enough to marry us." Mr. Dunbar was very much in earnest, but he smiled a little. "Our marriago is sudden," ho added, "because I must sail for Europe to-morrow, and I want to take my wife with mo." "The parson looked at him, then at the girl." Her eyes met his steadily, though a faint flush'stole into her checks. "Where is your home?" he asked. "I have none," sho answered. "I have neither father nor mother. I have been living in Philadelphia with my guardian." The words were spoken softly, but her eyes flashed. "I am free to do as I please," she went on. "My guardian has no right to dictate any longer." "Hum!" said Dr. Melton, passing his hand over his beard. "And you are from Philadelphia,too?" he added, turn ing to Mr. Dunbar. "I am," was the curt response. 'Your name sounds familiar," said tho parson. "Could I have seen it the other day in a list of passengers for Europe?" "Ho scanned the faces before him. The man's jaws clicked; tho girl's flush deepened into crimson. "We are free to marry," said Mr. Dun bar. "There is no reason why we should not be man and wife. If you won't perform the ceremony, I shall find some one who is willing. We have with us my uncle and aunt; but there is no use in wasting words. Will you marry us?" "Yes," said the parson. Then he asked a few formal questions, and mar ried them according to the ritual of the Dutch church. He begged them to be seated for a minute, while he filled out tho certificate. This made it necessary for him to return to tho study. "A runaway country couple?" said Mr. Leigh. "I can't swear to the country part," the parson answered, as he drew a cer tificate out of his desk. "I wonder you are willing to perform the ceremony," Mr. Leigh remarked. "I should think it was a great risk to marry runaway couples." "The risk is greater without it," said tho parson. "If I don't tie the knot, somebody will, and it is generally a sat isfaction to one to know that the knot is lied. In this case, however, I am quite sure I am doing right." He went back to the parlor with tho certificate, taking pen and ink, so that the witnesses might sign their names. Mr. Dunbar shook him by the hand, leaving a noto in his palm. The bride smiled shyly upon him, and the elderly woman bowed; but the elderly man, who so far had not spoken a word, said, sud denly, "I will tell you, sir, that you will never regret having helped this mar riage." "I don't believe I could have helped it," said the parson, with a droll glanco at the new-iuado husband. "I might have been the means of deterring it, but Mr. Dunbar intends to tako his wife to Europo in spite of a dozen tyrannical guardians and a dozen more reluctant clergymen. God bless you and make you happy!" he added, taking the young wife's hand, Her eyes filled with tears, but her hus band drew her hand through his arm and led her away. Two carriages were waiting outside. One went to the north, the other to the south; but the parson watched the one that went to tho south, for in that sat a man and woman whom ho believed he had made happy for life, so far as wedded bliss brings happiness. He returned to the study and gave the wedding fee to his daughter, who bore it off in triumph to her mother. "Does this sort of thing happen often?'' said Mr. Leigh. "Not precisely this sort of thing. The J bride and groom were not girl aud boy ; neither did they belong to what you would call the common class, lly-the-way, it was a Philadelphia party a AVilliam Dunbar " Mr. Leigh started from diis chair. "Dunbar!" he repeated. "And the girl?" "Kate Perry Katherine, rather." Mr. Leigh stared at him vacantly. "My ward !" he cried, in sudden anger. "And after all I told you ! Why didn't you call me in there?" "How was I to kuow that?" said Dr. Melton. "You never mentioned the name of your ward or her lover. You simply called him tho hardware man." Mr. Leigh walked out of the library, took his hat and stick, struggled into his overcoat, and left the house without vouchsafing another word to his host. The parson showed him out, and looked at him walking swiftly down the moon lit street. When he went to his study again he had by no means the craven air of a man who has done a dastardly deed. On the contrary he laughed outright as he sat down at his desk, whereon lay the notes of hit sermon, 2urpcr'i Weekly. ABOUT ANIMAL PLAGUES. THEIR I1TFI.TJE3CE OH THB WORLD'S HEALTH AID PROFEKTT. Result of In threat In Invcallg-nilona for Ir ' Salmon, of the De partment of Agriculture. Dr. D. E. Salmon, chief of the bureau of animal industry department of agri culture, Washington, delivered an inter esting lecture recently at the Long Island College hospital: "Animal Plagues; with special reference to their influence on health and property, and the means of prevention," was the title under which Dr. Salmon grouped some important facts. The speaker said that from time immemorial animal life had Buffered from plagues, some of which also attacked the human form divine. By the teachings of science, most of these plagues are now shown to be from parasites, animal or vegetable. The accounts of these plagues began with tho earliest history ot man kind. Virgil describes all too plainly the dreadful pestilence of his time, which afflicted horses and other animals, and it is not to be concluded that he described the instances of a single year. That these plagues were of frequent occurrence is shown in his writings. Homer also tells of the terrible plague which afflicted the Gre cian camD at the siege of Troy, whero Apollo is described as shooting his deadly arrows to avenge tho insult to his priest, Chryses. One hundred years earlier, in the time of King Lconidas, a similar plague is described, and two and a half centuries before this king is the extraordinary plague in Eeypt, where all the animals were afflicted, and the first born of every family were smitten. Three thousand years ago animal plagues originated in the simpler forms of lifo, and may these not have been evoluted in accordance with the law of the survival of the fittest? Smallpox has not yet finished its development; it must have originated at a comparatively recent date, or it would have become more widely distributed, and would have been known also to the ancients. So with scarlatina and kindred diseases. Numbers of disease germs are scattered in the earth, water and air. Contagious fever germs are passed from animal to animal, and we have them with our food and drink. In this country we have millions and millions of cattle under various condi tions, from the close, unhealthy quarters and swill feed of the crowded towns to the pure air and pasturage of the Rocky mountains, but among all these millions we have had no caso of rinderpest and we may conclude this will bo our misery for the future until the disease is brought to our shores. Our climate, it has been concluded, is not favorable to these par ticular diseases which afflict Europe,' or we would have had them. Pleuro-pneu-monia did not exist here until imported, and although it was believed it could not exist beyond the Alleghenies, it docs ex ist there. The West had been free be cause contagion was never brought Lre. Some animal plagues do not originals in any known country, and the attempts to trace their origin have proved futile. Some of these have had a large effect on the health and property of the world. Diseases which only arise from contagion are attributed to other causes, aud scien tists charged with the duty of repressing them have to struggle with wrong opinions. The writings on these diseases of half a dozen years ago -servo to show what rapid ad vances science has made in this direc tion. Tho germ theory has been ridi culed the most of all. Yarro, before the birth of Christ, writing on malarial fever, attributed it to little animals bred in marshes. Not until 1870 was this theory established. Dr. Salmon here introduced a number of drawings from photographs, much en larged, showing the result of micro scopic examinations of disease, germs in cattle, poultry and swine, and the differ ent appearance of the Biune disease such as cholena had in poultry and swine. The lecturer spoke of the danger from, animals afflicted with tuberculosis, or consumption. Few, probably, realized tho vast number of domesticated animals held in this country and not protected from these diseases. There are thirteen and a half million horses and mules, 44, 000,000 cattle, 50,000,000 sheep, and 45, 000,000 swine. The horses, sixteen abreast, would make a line 4,000 miles long, and all the animals in line would reach 10,000 miles. To pass along the line would take twenty days, of twelve hours each, travelling at tho rate of twenty miles an hour. These animals, worth $3,500,000 (two thousand five hundred millions) in value, and which all the gold ever mined here could not buy, stand exposed to the ravages of animal plagues swept over here from Europo. England lost millons of cattle by these diseases, and to estimate our possible loss we havo only to multiply by seven. Consump tion is becoming more prevalent among cattle, and there is practically no inspec tion to prevent the milk or flesh of tu berculosis cows being sold to the public and spreading the germs of the disease. This milk is especially dangerous to children. At present this whole question of properly treating cattle discuse is in such a muddle that it is doubtful if either science or art will ever be able to clear it up; but what these cannot do, urgent necessity, born of a great national ca lamity, will sometimes accomplish. Al most every State has its local laws on the subject, und they clash. The cen tral government cannot step into a State to check the disease, us it is "unconsti tutional." It took a dozen lawyers now to tell how to ship a calf across country. It is like a prairie tire. Will a man, whose house, burns, and earthly goods stand in the heart of the prairie, when ht sees a little fire starting on somo othei property, and which must sweep ovet and sweep away his own, go at onco and put out tho small fire, or wait and meet it at his own home? The question an swers itself. In concluding Dr. Salmon said th trouble must bo regarded as a foreign enemy and be so treated crushed out. Lions as Family rets. II. II. Cross was for seventeen years engaged in the purchase of animals for menageries, and for long study of their dispositions and peculiarities he is a convert to the theory that all animals will eventually become what man chooses to make them. For instance, ho characterizes the bull-dog as the natural gentleman of his speciet, with more intelligence and discernment than any other, until he learns how to fight and gradually becomes tho bruiser and loafer of his kind. Some years ago, while visiting Australia, he purchased a pair of young lions male and female and brought them to his home in New York, where they have since been kept in an apartment fitted up expressly for them. Several of their cubs have been sold for $1,000 each, and he has been offered $0,000 for either of the parent couple, but he declined to part with them ana will Keep tnem until they die. His children have learned to play with them without tho least apprehension of danger, and a photo graph of the pair has been inscribed: "The souls that love us." During all the time the two old lions have been in his possession they have not shown tho least disposition to injure any one, and he never had any 'tronble with their descendants, with the exception of one incorrigible cub, which Mr. Cross de scribes as "the greatest lunkhead ho ever saw." This obstinate young beast persistently resisted all blandishments, and at one time, during Mr. Cross' absence from home, amused himself by tearing out the bottom of the cage and then refusing to allow his temporary keeper to repair the damage. Whenever the keeper made an attempt to slip a board over tho hole tho cub would strike at him viciously as a notification that he wus regarded as a trespasser, and the cago was left undis turbed. When the owner returned he was apprised of the insurrection in his menagerie, and promptly armed himself with a stout stick as a preparation of war. He tried to place a board over the same hole, but the lion resented the in trusion, and the subsequent engagement may be described in Mr. Cross' own words: My experience has told me that a lion's vulnerable points of attack were on tho nasal cavity and paws, and a few quick and earnest raps across these wildefcat the bravest lion and make him turn tail. I went for the obdurate cub with my stick; he sur rendered, promptly if not gracefully, and there was no further objection to board or projected repairs. This is tho only misunderstanding re corded in that department, and the cub was sold at the first opportunity. The members of his home menagerio have been almost entirely exempt from sick ness sinco their residence in America, but every attention has been paid to their physical well-being. Mr. Cross states that if lions are kept in a healthy con dition tuy must have access to the ground, foi otherwise they soon become victims of paralysis or incurable dis temper. In dealing with his lions he has found that they, like human beings, oftentimes prefer to be let alone, and on such occasions he paid no attention to them, but always reciprocated any dis position to be sociable. St. Paul Pioneer Press. The "Roof of the World." A little east of tho narrow tract n in dispute between Russia and Afghanis-' tan, is that extensive protuberance called by tho natives tho Pamir, or The Roof of the World. This wonder ful plateau, furrowed by deep valleys, through which flow the head streams of great rivers, is the loftiest in the world, and stretches away for some hundreds of miles from 10,000 to 15,000 feet above the sea. It is an elevated isthmus connecting those almost impassable mountain systems of Asia, the Thian Shan and Altai on tho north, with the Hindoo Koo6h and Himalayas on the south. Here history places the cradle of European races. Here lived our Aryan forefathers, who, leaving their Pamir slopes, followed great rivers westward, ana finally pastured their herd in Eu rope. Hither are returning now their descendants, the Slavs aud Anglo Saxons, sooner or later to contend for tho supremacy of Asia upon the historic ground from which their primitive progenitors are believed to have mi grated. A'cifl York Sun. A Four-Year-Old Warrior. The widow of General Custer relates that, in a Dakota Indian dance, a four-year-old boy was brought to tho circle by his mother, and left to make his little whirling gyrations around the ring of the dancers. It was explained that he had won his right to join in the festivities of the tribe. Of tho four Indians of a rival tribe left on a battle field, one, though mortally wounded, was not yet dead when the retreat took place. A squaw incited the child to plunge a knife into ihe wounded war rior. As a reward he acquired the privi lege of joining in all celebrations, and tho right to wear an eagle feather stand ing straight from tho scalp-lock of his liny head. The mother's eyes gleamed with pride as she watched the iniuiaUiru warrior admitted among tho mature and experienced braves. The greatest height of au ocean wave is said to be ubout thirty-uvt feet above the level, SOMEBODY'S DUDE. Into a rink with four bleak walls, That blazed with a glare like midday llgat; Where never a shadow of sorrow falls, Somebody's dude strolled in oae night; Somebody's dude so young and so white, Wearing upon his innocent face Never a sign of manhood's might, But his scarfpin showed a suspicion paste. Carefully comlied are his raven curls, That lightly lie on his delicate brain, And in his fingers ho languidly twirls In ceaseless motion a gold-headed cane; Somebody carefully combed his hair; Was it his mother, whose sight now fades Was it a blushing maiden fair, Or a barber as black as the ace of spades? There's never a doubt he is somebody's pet; Somebody's heart has enshrined him there; Maybe the dude has a falheryet, Or a mother, who waits at the head of the stair; Maybe a maiden, with cheek of rose, Is sadly awaiting this missing link, And there he stands in a beautiful pose, In the glamour and glare of the skating rink. But there comes a man full of honeyed guile And fastens the cruel skates to his feet; Then stands aside with a cynical smile, And waits for his head and his heels to meet. Kiss him once for his grandmother's sake; It's doubtful if ever she kisses him more; The skates from his feet so tenderly take, Sweep out the debris and close the door. Eugene Clay Ferguson. HUMOR OP THE DAY. Love is a fellow around swapping a peck of trouble for a pint of happiness. A polished delivery cuffs and collars from the laundry. Burlington Fret Press, In Denmark the rooms in the hotels are all bald-headed that is, they hava no locks. " What is the dollar of the daddies? asks some one. It is, briefly, what the dudes exist on. Boston Post. Skating rinks promote intemperance because all who go there take a drop too much before they leave. Merchant- Trav eler. A Newport girl fell asleep in church Sunday and dreamed aloud, saying "Oh, he skates too awful nice for anything." Kentucky State Journal. I never met a fractious goat, Esneciallv when the field was wide. But that I ached for muny a day, And always on the butted side. Call Yes, everything is faster in this coun try. In England they say that a man stands for parliament. In this country he runs for Congress. Arkansaw Trav eler. Jones What is the price of this! Merchant That well, I'd make you a present of it, seeing it's you. Jones (absent-mindedly) Isn't that a trifle steep? Blizzard. An exchange says a " Chicago police man caught tho small-pox while asleep." If a Chicago policeman ever caught any thing it would be when bo was asleep. Neu York Graphic. There is something about a eood na tured man that takes one by the hand as heartily as a poor relation, and hang on like a man getting home in a crowded car. Chicago Ledger. Mr. Edward Atkinson says that silver is not as valuable as are eggs. This may be true, but a pocket full of the former does not causo as much anxiety as the same quantity of tho latter. Boston Post "This is not a very fertile country," said a tender-foot as ho surveyed the -tugged hills in a far Western State, -'hink not," said a miner, "you should e revolters flourishing in a hot sp,. Boston Courier. A dwarf, '.vho is only seventeen inches in height, aged thirty-six, a good writer and well educated, .lives at Shiga' Ken, Japan. This it not' an isolated case. There are good writers and educated " - v-, - ' J , very "short." Neio York Buwii.'- n Thn watch-doe prows ' t,,nn liiinir in I na fnnntrv n'llO are aiSO A mnirl ju iwhiI & As one more beau Has pautitw chawed, Old man up stains Warm blankets 'neath, Hays, "(ilail 1 tiled U p Towser's teeth !" "Never go back," advises a writer. "What you attempt, do with ull your strength." This may he good advice, but it wouldn't work satisfactorily. When a young man, for insianoc, at tempts to court a girl, he may do it with all his strength, but he goes back, all the same. He goes back about six nights a week. A'orrUtown Herald. "Will you look mo up the origin of the word rink, papa?" "Certaiuly, my dear; but why do you wish me to do so?" "I havo taken a notion to learu roller-skating, and I have a curiosity to know what the word rink is derived from." "If you are going to learn roller-skatiug I would advise you to be come acquainted with the word equilib rium, for you'll want to know nioro about that than about rink wheu you put ou tho rollers. ' Boston Courier. THIS SMALL BOY. No more with cold the small boy's noe At early looming tinitts; And, as the weather wttrmor grows, His liit.ii- his mother Bliingles. Soon to the placid pool he'll hie, WIiosm buuUs wild flowers Uvspanglo, ; ' And as the sunny hours nh''u'by For lioriipout he w ill angle. 1'ei liaps ho'll ot the wut.-r fuel, And whore lie t-nink it warmest, Upon the Imnk he'll im -kly peel And plunge right in head fore'iioot; O'er balliin sails lie make no iuss. Their u-xture or tlielr trimming; In puns imtiuiililjiis '1 hut a luw he toe-; in swimming. Boston Con isr.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers