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VOL. IVIII. NO. 9.
TIONESTA, PA., WEDNESDAY, JUNE 17. 1885.
$1,50 PEE ANNUM.
if)
1
X
AN ASPIHATION.
Behold Tho pnHh ltn verdure gain
Tij caverned fires and treasured rains,
Unseen by mortal eyea;
Ten as the sea Its force conceal,
Till time and fate the strength reveals
That In it bosom lies.
BuchRrr.wth-sueh force, l mine toknow;
i-t e.cret strength within me glow,
With honor's fire upraise;
And crown my life's perfected sphere
Willi acts and words, that, mortal heroi
Khali win immortal praise.
.T. A. Dncus, in The Current.
LAWYER AND PARSON.
The Rev. Dr. Helton was just begin
ning to fcol at home In his new parson
age when he wag surprised one evoning
to receive a cull from his classmate Har
vey Leigh. In collcgo day they had
been friends, and for awhilo aftor their
graduation they had exchnnged letters
and visits; but tho letters and visits had
come to an end long ago, and it was
Wany years sinco they had met. As
they sat in tho book-lined study, each
eyed the other curiously. Years sat
lightly en Mr. Leigh, and "he was dressed
fashionably, almost youthfully. In his
dark red neck scarf was thrust a gold
dog's hoad with ruby eyes, and to the
ar.son tho scarf nod tho dog's head
suggested s sporting character, and
bo wondered mildly that a high
ly respectable, prosperous, middle-aged
lawyer should thus adorn his person.
"Welt," Mr. Leigh said, "and how do
jou fancy the idea of becoming a metro
politan preacher, and seeing your sermon
garbled in Monday morning's paper?"
"The papers didn't garble my sermon
Ahis week,'' tho doctor said. " "On tho
contrary, the reporters picked out tho
best and overlooked the worst in the
kindest and most llattcring fashion."
Mr. Leigh luughei. "You won't be
amiable to reporters whon you know
them better. This is quite a change
from your old lifo, and au agreeable
change, no doubt. Or do you believe
thntiiissj Jjfude tho country and man
tuade the Town.?'' v. -t
"I believe that God made them loth',
and man tries his best to spoil both," the
parson answered.
"Ah, that's neat very neat. By the
way, I ought to call you doctor. I read
your book on the Atonement with a good
deal of pleasure." The parson winced,
but Mr. Loigh did not observe that. "I
don't wonder the college doctored you
for it, though your ideas must seem
rather liberal to the musty old fogies who
peddle out Latin and Greek and theol
ogy." "I came near being one of tho musty
old fogies myself," said Dr. Melton.
"They wanted me to bo a professor, but
I prefer to be a parson."
'A city parson," said his guest.
"I am not so sure about the city part,"
Dr. Melton said, slowly. "It was pleas
ant up therein tho country ;-I was at
tached to my people; I likod to potter
about in ray garden. I was astonished
when I received a call from New York.
I don't know that I would have accepted
it if one of my deacons had not had a
Frornismg son ready to fill my place, and
think that my congregation rather
liked the idea of a young dominie. I
had about come to the conclusion that I
should live and die a country parson ;
but here I am."
"With six thousand dollars a year
and a comfortablo house," added Mr.
Leigh.
The parson frowned. "A man with
four children has no right to slight a
chance of bettering his fortune; but it
was not the money that brought me to
New York. There is work here " He
broke off suddenly, perhaps because he
saw the shadow of a sneer on Mr. Leigh's
lips. "And you are still living in Phila
delphia?" he asked.
'Yes, indeed; I would not live any
where else. New Yorkers may turn up
their noses and call it a villago, but
Philadelphia suits peoplo who belong to
the old Quaker stock."
"You have a son, I believe, to per
petuate the name?" the parson remarked.
"One son an only child. Morton is
twenty-four.and reading law in my ollico.
A bright fellow too; never gives me a
moment's uneasiness; always at work;
steady-going; no boyish nonsense about
him."
"Twenty-four," the parson repeated,
"and no boyish nonsense about him J
There is a good deal of nonsense about
my boys, 1 am hap sorry to say. Still,
1 hope they won't disgrace mo. Their
mother thinks they are all right, and I
am learning every day of my life that
my wisdom, as compared with others, is
beneath contempt. I can hardly believe
you have a sou twenty-four. Why, you
are a spruce young man yourself."
"Thanks to a lifo free from excesses
of any kind," said Mr. Leigh. "And I
married eariy I advocate an early mar
riage, if u man has money enough to
support a family. This waiting to scrape
together a paltry income is terribly hard
on a young man. Yes, 1 married early,
and I have every reason to believe that
my son will follow my example."
"And when is your boy to marry?"
aBked the doctor.
"Oh, it is not quite arranged yet."
"So you arrange marriages in Phila
delphia? And this particular marriage
is not quite arranged? Humph! I don't
understand that sort of thing. Up in
the country it is, 'Mary, I love you,' and
'Jack, 1 love you in return,' and then my
services are called for. How does one
arrange a marriage in Philadelphia?"
The touch of sarcasm was quite lost
on Mr. Leigh, who had crossed his legs,
and sat absorbiug in thought, frowning
at the patent leather tip of his neat shoe.
Hit) host watched him until he uncrossed
his legs ami lookeil up,
"Have you any daughters, doctor?'' he
asked.
"Two of them."
"Grown up?"
"I hope so; otherwise they will tower
over my head."
"And do you understand them?"
asked Mr. Leigh, with a gravity that
mado tho parson's blue eyes twinkle and
tho corners of his mouth twitch.
"Oh, no, I don't understand them; I
don't understand any creature in petti
coats; but my daughters are good girls,
and their mother assures mo that they
are remarkably gifted. . What do I want
to understand them for?"
"It might bo an advantage under
somo circumstances," Mr. Leigh re
marked. "What is tho matter! What girl do
you think it might be an advantage to
understond?"
"My ward," answered Mr. Leigh.
" She is an orphan, a far-away cousin of
my wife, and sho has lived with us for
the past five years. She has a nice lit
tle fortune; sho Is pretty; sho is well
bred" "That goes without saying," mut
tered tho parson, stroking his long
beard. .
"Hut sho hasn't a grain of common
sense." Mr. Leigh rose, took up a posi
tion on the rug, slipped his left hand
under the short tails of his cut-away
coat, and gesticulated with his right as
ho warmed to his Story. "Last sum
mer," he began, "sho was twenty-ono,
and just out of school. She went to
Cape May with the Phippards, peoplo in
whom I placed the utmost confidence. I
thought she was safe with them; but lo
and behold ! she must make the acquaint
ance of a yomg gentleman who held tho
responsible position of bookkeeper in
one of our large hardware shops, a retail
concern, and he has sold many a paper
of tacks over the counter. I was in Eu
rope; so this interesting tack-seller ran
down to Cape May every Sun
day, and staid until Monday.
Then ho had a clerk's two weeks' va
cation, and he spent that at Capo May.
I came back in October, and before I had
been home twenty-four hours who should
call at tho house but this young man?
Ho wanted to see me, and I saw him,
and I was informed by him that he had
wooed and won my ward. I asked if
he proposed to tako her to live over tho
shop."
Mr. Leigh's thin lips curled down
ward ; ho glanced at the parson for
sympathy, but ho encountered a tteady,
somewhat critical look.
" Why thouldn't they live over the
shop? " Dr. Melton said.
"Oh, you don't understand," Mr.
Leigh exclaimed, fretfully. "Sho bus
been brought up in luxury, and sho
ought to have some idea of what is
proper and fittinir. There has been a
terrible time. Why, I assure you I have
had tho sympathy of all Philadelphia.
This hardware man had tho effrontery to
say that he had money enough to take
caro of a wife, just as though he had
never thought of my ward's little fortune.
He begged me to go and see his em
ployers peoplo I never heard of and I
told him that I did not want their recom
mendations; I did not propose to hire a
bookkeeper. He was insolent, and I
ordered him out. Then she blazed away
at me, the weak, infatuated girl. I tried
to reason with her; my wife talked to
her; my son well, you see, iny son
wanted to marry her, too, and he would
have made just the husband for her, but
she told him if he spoke to her she
would ask her hardware man to protect
her. Think of itl As though Morton
would insult her the best-mannered man
that ever lived."
"Aud Morton is very fond of her," he
continued "so fond of her, in fact, that
he is waiting like a hero for this to blow
over. I think the farce is nearly ended, for
the hardware man became partner the
other day in a nail factory or something
of that sort, and a week ago he sailed for
Europe. Ho will have to stay a year,
traveling for his firm, and when ho
comes back: " Mr. Leigh broke oil b
smile astutely aud to drop the lid over
his left eye.
"I don't exactly understand your ob
jections to him," said Dr. Melton slow
ly. "Does he driuk or keep low com
pany?" "No," answered Mr. Leigh; "but "
"I beg your pardon," said the doctor,
interrupting him, "but 1 want to speak
in his behalf. He must be industrious,
and no fool, and prospering, or he would
not have jumped into this new position.
I confess I don't think you have made
out a clear case. Of course you want to
see your son happy; but if she does not
love your son, that ends the matter. And
if she docs lovo this other (man, and ho
is honest and upright, why should he
not have her?"
"Ho is not her equal," said Mr. Loigh.
"You know in Philadelphia "
The parson rose up with a stifled ex
clamation. "It is warm in here," he said. "I
want a little fresh air; I am not used to
a furnace-heated house. Poor girl I The
city has not yet claimed me for its own,
and i miss tho tire-placc in my old study.
Poor fellow 1"
lie threw up the window, and looked
out on a wide expanse of tiny high-fenced
back yarde; but overhead was the clear
sea of sky, where the moon rode at an
chor amid the fleet of stars. He stood
there, drawing in the crisp December
air, until a tap sounded on tho door.
"Come in," he cried, and one of his
daughters entered a tall, slim girl with
her fathers blue eyes.
"Papa," she said, pressing close to
hi:n, and smiling mysteriously, "there
are some people in the parlor."
"Drawing-room, my dear," said tho
doctor. "We are in Philadelphia."
'Ve are not. but no matter,1' she re
turned. "I tell you there are some peo
ple in the parlor, and 1 think it is our
lir.st town wedding. She is very pretty,
aud she has on the loveliest litt'e bonnet
you ever saw. (Jo iuarry"em quick, und
let me be a witness, ouly they have two
witutissvs with them."
Ho passed his arm about her and
kissed her, she did not know why; then
led her to his guest.
"Mollie, this is a classmate of mine.
My daughter, Mr. Leigh Mr. Harvey
Leigh, of Philadelphia. You must ex
cuse me for a few minutes."
He went into the adjoining parlor.
Yes, it was a wedding-party, no doubt,
but tho would-be bride and groom did
not look like the brides and groom that
seek out a parson in such a fashion. The
man was a gentleman, with a fine face
and dignified bearing. The girl was
pretty, but more than that, she had an
air of courage, of self-reliance; she was
not a weak piece of pink and white flesh.
An older couple was with them, a some
what frightened middle-aged man and a
very nervous middlo-aeed woman, evi
dently his wife, for eho clung to his arm
helplessly.
"I am William Dunbar." said the
young man. The parson shook hands
with him. "And this," he added, turn
ing to the young lady, "is Miss Kate
Perry. We are both of ago in fact, I
am thirty-three and I hope you will be
good enough to marry us."
Mr. Dunbar was very much in earnest,
but he smiled a little. "Our marriago
is sudden," ho added, "because I must
sail for Europe to-morrow, and I want
to take my wife with mo."
"The parson looked at him, then at
the girl." Her eyes met his steadily,
though a faint flush'stole into her checks.
"Where is your home?" he asked.
"I have none," sho answered. "I
have neither father nor mother. I have
been living in Philadelphia with my
guardian." The words were spoken
softly, but her eyes flashed. "I am free
to do as I please," she went on. "My
guardian has no right to dictate any
longer."
"Hum!" said Dr. Melton, passing his
hand over his beard. "And you are
from Philadelphia,too?" he added, turn
ing to Mr. Dunbar.
"I am," was the curt response.
'Your name sounds familiar," said
tho parson. "Could I have seen it
the other day in a list of passengers for
Europe?"
"Ho scanned the faces before him.
The man's jaws clicked; tho girl's flush
deepened into crimson.
"We are free to marry," said Mr. Dun
bar. "There is no reason why we should
not be man and wife. If you won't
perform the ceremony, I shall find some
one who is willing. We have with us
my uncle and aunt; but there is no use
in wasting words. Will you marry us?"
"Yes," said the parson. Then he
asked a few formal questions, and mar
ried them according to the ritual of the
Dutch church. He begged them to be
seated for a minute, while he filled out
tho certificate. This made it necessary
for him to return to tho study.
"A runaway country couple?" said Mr.
Leigh.
"I can't swear to the country part,"
the parson answered, as he drew a cer
tificate out of his desk.
"I wonder you are willing to perform
the ceremony," Mr. Leigh remarked. "I
should think it was a great risk to marry
runaway couples."
"The risk is greater without it," said
tho parson. "If I don't tie the knot,
somebody will, and it is generally a sat
isfaction to one to know that the knot is
lied. In this case, however, I am quite
sure I am doing right."
He went back to the parlor with tho
certificate, taking pen and ink, so that
the witnesses might sign their names.
Mr. Dunbar shook him by the hand,
leaving a noto in his palm. The bride
smiled shyly upon him, and the elderly
woman bowed; but the elderly man, who
so far had not spoken a word, said, sud
denly, "I will tell you, sir, that you will
never regret having helped this mar
riage." "I don't believe I could have helped
it," said the parson, with a droll glanco
at the new-iuado husband. "I might
have been the means of deterring it, but
Mr. Dunbar intends to tako his wife to
Europo in spite of a dozen tyrannical
guardians and a dozen more reluctant
clergymen. God bless you and make you
happy!" he added, taking the young
wife's hand,
Her eyes filled with tears, but her hus
band drew her hand through his arm and
led her away.
Two carriages were waiting outside.
One went to the north, the other to the
south; but the parson watched the one
that went to tho south, for in that sat a
man and woman whom ho believed he
had made happy for life, so far as wedded
bliss brings happiness.
He returned to the study and gave the
wedding fee to his daughter, who bore
it off in triumph to her mother.
"Does this sort of thing happen
often?'' said Mr. Leigh.
"Not precisely this sort of thing. The
J bride and groom were not girl aud boy ;
neither did they belong to what you
would call the common class, lly-the-way,
it was a Philadelphia party a
AVilliam Dunbar "
Mr. Leigh started from diis chair.
"Dunbar!" he repeated. "And the
girl?"
"Kate Perry Katherine, rather."
Mr. Leigh stared at him vacantly. "My
ward !" he cried, in sudden anger.
"And after all I told you ! Why didn't
you call me in there?"
"How was I to kuow that?" said Dr.
Melton. "You never mentioned the
name of your ward or her lover. You
simply called him tho hardware man."
Mr. Leigh walked out of the library,
took his hat and stick, struggled into his
overcoat, and left the house without
vouchsafing another word to his host.
The parson showed him out, and looked
at him walking swiftly down the moon
lit street. When he went to his study
again he had by no means the craven air
of a man who has done a dastardly deed.
On the contrary he laughed outright as
he sat down at his desk, whereon lay the
notes of hit sermon, 2urpcr'i Weekly.
ABOUT ANIMAL PLAGUES.
THEIR I1TFI.TJE3CE OH THB WORLD'S
HEALTH AID PROFEKTT.
Result of In threat In Invcallg-nilona
for Ir ' Salmon, of the De
partment of Agriculture.
Dr. D. E. Salmon, chief of the bureau
of animal industry department of agri
culture, Washington, delivered an inter
esting lecture recently at the Long Island
College hospital: "Animal Plagues;
with special reference to their influence
on health and property, and the means
of prevention," was the title under which
Dr. Salmon grouped some important
facts. The speaker said that from time
immemorial animal life had Buffered from
plagues, some of which also attacked the
human form divine. By the teachings of
science, most of these plagues are now
shown to be from parasites, animal or
vegetable. The accounts of these plagues
began with tho earliest history ot man
kind. Virgil describes all too plainly
the dreadful pestilence of his time, which
afflicted horses and other animals,
and it is not to be concluded that
he described the instances of a
single year. That these plagues were
of frequent occurrence is shown in his
writings. Homer also tells of the
terrible plague which afflicted the Gre
cian camD at the siege of Troy, whero
Apollo is described as shooting his
deadly arrows to avenge tho insult to
his priest, Chryses.
One hundred years earlier, in the time
of King Lconidas, a similar plague is
described, and two and a half centuries
before this king is the extraordinary
plague in Eeypt, where all the animals
were afflicted, and the first born of every
family were smitten.
Three thousand years ago animal
plagues originated in the simpler forms
of lifo, and may these not have been
evoluted in accordance with the law of
the survival of the fittest? Smallpox
has not yet finished its development; it
must have originated at a comparatively
recent date, or it would have become
more widely distributed, and would have
been known also to the ancients. So
with scarlatina and kindred diseases.
Numbers of disease germs are scattered
in the earth, water and air. Contagious
fever germs are passed from animal to
animal, and we have them with our food
and drink.
In this country we have millions and
millions of cattle under various condi
tions, from the close, unhealthy quarters
and swill feed of the crowded towns to
the pure air and pasturage of the Rocky
mountains, but among all these millions
we have had no caso of rinderpest and
we may conclude this will bo our misery
for the future until the disease is brought
to our shores. Our climate, it has been
concluded, is not favorable to these par
ticular diseases which afflict Europe,' or
we would have had them. Pleuro-pneu-monia
did not exist here until imported,
and although it was believed it could not
exist beyond the Alleghenies, it docs ex
ist there. The West had been free be
cause contagion was never brought Lre.
Some animal plagues do not originals
in any known country, and the attempts
to trace their origin have proved futile.
Some of these have had a large effect on
the health and property of the world.
Diseases which only arise from contagion
are attributed to other causes, aud scien
tists charged with the duty of
repressing them have to struggle
with wrong opinions. The writings
on these diseases of half a dozen
years ago -servo to show what rapid ad
vances science has made in this direc
tion. Tho germ theory has been ridi
culed the most of all. Yarro, before the
birth of Christ, writing on malarial fever,
attributed it to little animals bred in
marshes. Not until 1870 was this theory
established.
Dr. Salmon here introduced a number
of drawings from photographs, much en
larged, showing the result of micro
scopic examinations of disease, germs in
cattle, poultry and swine, and the differ
ent appearance of the Biune disease such
as cholena had in poultry and swine.
The lecturer spoke of the danger from,
animals afflicted with tuberculosis, or
consumption. Few, probably, realized tho
vast number of domesticated animals
held in this country and not protected
from these diseases. There are thirteen
and a half million horses and mules, 44,
000,000 cattle, 50,000,000 sheep, and 45,
000,000 swine. The horses, sixteen
abreast, would make a line 4,000 miles
long, and all the animals in line would
reach 10,000 miles. To pass along the
line would take twenty days, of twelve
hours each, travelling at tho rate of
twenty miles an hour. These animals,
worth $3,500,000 (two thousand five
hundred millions) in value, and
which all the gold ever
mined here could not buy, stand
exposed to the ravages of animal plagues
swept over here from Europo. England
lost millons of cattle by these diseases,
and to estimate our possible loss we havo
only to multiply by seven. Consump
tion is becoming more prevalent among
cattle, and there is practically no inspec
tion to prevent the milk or flesh of tu
berculosis cows being sold to the public
and spreading the germs of the disease.
This milk is especially dangerous to
children.
At present this whole question of
properly treating cattle discuse is in such
a muddle that it is doubtful if either
science or art will ever be able to clear
it up; but what these cannot do, urgent
necessity, born of a great national ca
lamity, will sometimes accomplish. Al
most every State has its local laws on
the subject, und they clash. The cen
tral government cannot step into a State
to check the disease, us it is "unconsti
tutional." It took a dozen lawyers now
to tell how to ship a calf across country.
It is like a prairie tire. Will a man,
whose house, burns, and earthly goods
stand in the heart of the prairie, when ht
sees a little fire starting on somo othei
property, and which must sweep ovet
and sweep away his own, go at onco and
put out tho small fire, or wait and meet
it at his own home? The question an
swers itself.
In concluding Dr. Salmon said th
trouble must bo regarded as a foreign
enemy and be so treated crushed out.
Lions as Family rets.
II. II. Cross was for seventeen years
engaged in the purchase of animals for
menageries, and for long study of their
dispositions and peculiarities he is a
convert to the theory that all animals
will eventually become what man
chooses to make them. For instance,
ho characterizes the bull-dog as the
natural gentleman of his speciet, with
more intelligence and discernment than
any other, until he learns how to fight
and gradually becomes tho bruiser and
loafer of his kind. Some years ago,
while visiting Australia, he purchased
a pair of young lions male and female
and brought them to his home in
New York, where they have since been
kept in an apartment fitted up expressly
for them. Several of their cubs have
been sold for $1,000 each, and he has
been offered $0,000 for either of the
parent couple, but he declined to part
with them ana will Keep tnem until
they die. His children have learned
to play with them without tho least
apprehension of danger, and a photo
graph of the pair has been inscribed:
"The souls that love us." During all
the time the two old lions have been in
his possession they have not shown tho
least disposition to injure any one, and
he never had any 'tronble with their
descendants, with the exception of one
incorrigible cub, which Mr. Cross de
scribes as "the greatest lunkhead ho
ever saw."
This obstinate young beast persistently
resisted all blandishments, and at one
time, during Mr. Cross' absence from
home, amused himself by tearing out
the bottom of the cage and then refusing
to allow his temporary keeper to repair
the damage. Whenever the keeper made
an attempt to slip a board over tho hole
tho cub would strike at him viciously as
a notification that he wus regarded as a
trespasser, and the cago was left undis
turbed. When the owner returned he
was apprised of the insurrection in his
menagerie, and promptly armed himself
with a stout stick as a preparation of
war. He tried to place a board over the
same hole, but the lion resented the in
trusion, and the subsequent engagement
may be described in Mr. Cross' own
words: My experience has told me that
a lion's vulnerable points of attack
were on tho nasal cavity and paws,
and a few quick and earnest raps
across these wildefcat the bravest lion
and make him turn tail. I went for the
obdurate cub with my stick; he sur
rendered, promptly if not gracefully,
and there was no further objection to
board or projected repairs.
This is tho only misunderstanding re
corded in that department, and the cub
was sold at the first opportunity. The
members of his home menagerio have
been almost entirely exempt from sick
ness sinco their residence in America,
but every attention has been paid to their
physical well-being. Mr. Cross states
that if lions are kept in a healthy con
dition tuy must have access to the
ground, foi otherwise they soon become
victims of paralysis or incurable dis
temper. In dealing with his lions he
has found that they, like human beings,
oftentimes prefer to be let alone, and on
such occasions he paid no attention to
them, but always reciprocated any dis
position to be sociable. St. Paul Pioneer
Press.
The "Roof of the World."
A little east of tho narrow tract n
in dispute between Russia and Afghanis-'
tan, is that extensive protuberance
called by tho natives tho Pamir, or
The Roof of the World. This wonder
ful plateau, furrowed by deep valleys,
through which flow the head streams of
great rivers, is the loftiest in the world,
and stretches away for some hundreds of
miles from 10,000 to 15,000 feet above
the sea. It is an elevated isthmus
connecting those almost impassable
mountain systems of Asia, the Thian
Shan and Altai on tho north, with the
Hindoo Koo6h and Himalayas on the
south. Here history places the cradle of
European races. Here lived our Aryan
forefathers, who, leaving their Pamir
slopes, followed great rivers westward,
ana finally pastured their herd in Eu
rope. Hither are returning now their
descendants, the Slavs aud Anglo
Saxons, sooner or later to contend for tho
supremacy of Asia upon the historic
ground from which their primitive
progenitors are believed to have mi
grated. A'cifl York Sun.
A Four-Year-Old Warrior.
The widow of General Custer relates
that, in a Dakota Indian dance, a four-year-old
boy was brought to tho circle
by his mother, and left to make his little
whirling gyrations around the ring of
the dancers. It was explained that he
had won his right to join in
the festivities of the tribe. Of tho four
Indians of a rival tribe left on a battle
field, one, though mortally wounded,
was not yet dead when the retreat took
place. A squaw incited the child to
plunge a knife into ihe wounded war
rior. As a reward he acquired the privi
lege of joining in all celebrations, and
tho right to wear an eagle feather stand
ing straight from tho scalp-lock of his
liny head. The mother's eyes gleamed
with pride as she watched the iniuiaUiru
warrior admitted among tho mature and
experienced braves.
The greatest height of au ocean wave
is said to be ubout thirty-uvt feet above
the level,
SOMEBODY'S DUDE.
Into a rink with four bleak walls,
That blazed with a glare like midday llgat;
Where never a shadow of sorrow falls,
Somebody's dude strolled in oae night;
Somebody's dude so young and so white,
Wearing upon his innocent face
Never a sign of manhood's might,
But his scarfpin showed a suspicion
paste.
Carefully comlied are his raven curls,
That lightly lie on his delicate brain,
And in his fingers ho languidly twirls
In ceaseless motion a gold-headed cane;
Somebody carefully combed his hair;
Was it his mother, whose sight now fades
Was it a blushing maiden fair,
Or a barber as black as the ace of spades?
There's never a doubt he is somebody's pet;
Somebody's heart has enshrined him there;
Maybe the dude has a falheryet,
Or a mother, who waits at the head of the
stair;
Maybe a maiden, with cheek of rose,
Is sadly awaiting this missing link,
And there he stands in a beautiful pose,
In the glamour and glare of the skating
rink.
But there comes a man full of honeyed guile
And fastens the cruel skates to his feet;
Then stands aside with a cynical smile,
And waits for his head and his heels to meet.
Kiss him once for his grandmother's sake;
It's doubtful if ever she kisses him more;
The skates from his feet so tenderly take,
Sweep out the debris and close the door.
Eugene Clay Ferguson.
HUMOR OP THE DAY.
Love is a fellow around swapping a
peck of trouble for a pint of happiness.
A polished delivery cuffs and collars
from the laundry. Burlington Fret
Press,
In Denmark the rooms in the hotels
are all bald-headed that is, they hava
no locks.
" What is the dollar of the daddies?
asks some one. It is, briefly, what the
dudes exist on. Boston Post.
Skating rinks promote intemperance
because all who go there take a drop too
much before they leave. Merchant- Trav
eler. A Newport girl fell asleep in church
Sunday and dreamed aloud, saying "Oh,
he skates too awful nice for anything."
Kentucky State Journal.
I never met a fractious goat,
Esneciallv when the field was wide.
But that I ached for muny a day,
And always on the butted side.
Call
Yes, everything is faster in this coun
try. In England they say that a man
stands for parliament. In this country
he runs for Congress. Arkansaw Trav
eler. Jones What is the price of this!
Merchant That well, I'd make you a
present of it, seeing it's you. Jones
(absent-mindedly) Isn't that a trifle
steep? Blizzard.
An exchange says a " Chicago police
man caught tho small-pox while asleep."
If a Chicago policeman ever caught any
thing it would be when bo was asleep.
Neu York Graphic.
There is something about a eood na
tured man that takes one by the hand as
heartily as a poor relation, and hang on
like a man getting home in a crowded
car. Chicago Ledger.
Mr. Edward Atkinson says that silver
is not as valuable as are eggs. This may
be true, but a pocket full of the former
does not causo as much anxiety as the
same quantity of tho latter. Boston Post
"This is not a very fertile country,"
said a tender-foot as ho surveyed the
-tugged hills in a far Western State,
-'hink not," said a miner, "you should
e revolters flourishing in a hot
sp,. Boston Courier.
A dwarf, '.vho is only seventeen inches
in height, aged thirty-six, a good writer
and well educated, .lives at Shiga' Ken,
Japan. This it not' an isolated case.
There are good writers and educated
" - v-, - ' J ,
very "short." Neio York Buwii.'- n
Thn watch-doe prows '
t,,nn liiinir in I na fnnntrv n'llO are aiSO
A mnirl ju iwhiI &
As one more beau
Has pautitw chawed,
Old man up stains
Warm blankets 'neath,
Hays, "(ilail 1 tiled
U p Towser's teeth !"
"Never go back," advises a writer.
"What you attempt, do with ull your
strength." This may he good advice,
but it wouldn't work satisfactorily.
When a young man, for insianoc, at
tempts to court a girl, he may do it
with all his strength, but he goes back,
all the same. He goes back about six
nights a week. A'orrUtown Herald.
"Will you look mo up the origin of
the word rink, papa?" "Certaiuly, my
dear; but why do you wish me to do
so?" "I havo taken a notion to learu
roller-skating, and I have a curiosity to
know what the word rink is derived
from." "If you are going to learn
roller-skatiug I would advise you to be
come acquainted with the word equilib
rium, for you'll want to know nioro
about that than about rink wheu you put
ou tho rollers. ' Boston Courier.
THIS SMALL BOY.
No more with cold the small boy's noe
At early looming tinitts;
And, as the weather wttrmor grows,
His liit.ii- his mother Bliingles.
Soon to the placid pool he'll hie,
WIiosm buuUs wild flowers Uvspanglo,
; ' And as the sunny hours nh''u'by
For lioriipout he w ill angle.
1'ei liaps ho'll ot the wut.-r fuel,
And whore lie t-nink it warmest,
Upon the Imnk he'll im -kly peel
And plunge right in head fore'iioot;
O'er balliin sails lie make no iuss.
Their u-xture or tlielr trimming;
In puns imtiuiililjiis
'1 hut a luw he toe-; in swimming.
Boston Con isr.