4r crest llfpaMirca 1 " " 1 -1 . i. i i , , . , .. .... J. E. WENK. Omoo In Smiearbangh & Oo.'i Bulldin ELM STREET, . TI0NE3TA, PA. si.no peh yeaii. ntr'TT?1"1 fra all part, at the tNQINEEKS MAKING LOVE, .-venr y every eiurlrii-er on the New York and New KriL'liincl railroad him n.woelhrrt or wife In New ' MUlii, ( i,nn. Kvcry train would whintle a eiiluta io eonie flr Hiimc. nncl the din prew o fearfully rar-ipiitUtig that t,0 Riitborlllee have had It lOi)ed. noon when Thirty five is due, An' she nimpi on time, like a flnsh of light, An' you hear hor whist In, "Too-fr too!" Long 'fore t he pilot swing in sight. Bill Mad.lon's driving her In to-day i u' he's call i n' his swont heart, far a way Oertrude Hurd lives down by the mill; "You might see hor blushin'; she knows it s Bill. "Tu-die! Toot-oe! Tudio! Tul" Six-five a, M. there's a lo al comes Mulct up at Bristol, runnin' east; Aa' Iho way her whistle sings on' hums la a livin' caution to man anil' beast. Every one knows who Jack White calls IJltlo Iiu Woodbury, down by the Falls; Summer or winter, always the fame, She hears her lover caLm her name "Iiou-io! Lou-io! Ixo-iee!" At six fifty-eight you can hear Twenty-one Go thunder,n' west, and of nil the screams That ever startled the rising sun, Jehu Davis sends into your dreams. j But I don't mind it; it makes me grin j For just down here whore the creok lots in, His wifo, Jerusha, can hear him call, Loud as a throat of brass can bawl " Jceo-rooo-Kheel Je-hoo!" , But at one fifty-one, old Sixty-four Br ston express runs east, c lear through lrowns her rattle and rumble, and roar With the softest whistle that ever blew. -An' away on the furthest edge of the town, Sweet Suo Winthrop's eyes of brown Shine like the starliuht. bright an' clear, When tho hears tho whistle of Abel Gear, " You-ou on, Bu-u-u-u-e!" Alon; at midnight a freight comes in, I .eaves Berlin Fome time I don't know when But it rumbles along with a fearful din, Till it reaches tho Y-witch, and then Tin clearest notes of tho softest bell That out of a brazen goblet foil, 1 Wake Nellie Minton out of her dreams To her like a wedding b'll it seems "Noll, Nell, Nolll Nell, Nell, Nell!" An' somewhere Intc in the afternoon, You'll see, Thirty-seven go streak in' west; It's !o al, from Hartford; same old tune Niw set for tho girl that loves him best. Tom Wilson rides on the righthand side, Givin' hor steam at every stride; An' ho touches the whistle, low an' clear, For I.ulu Gray, on the hill, to hoar "Lu lu! Loo loo!" fo it goes on all day an' nil night, Till the old folks have votoi the thing a boro; Old maids and bachelors says it ain't right For folks to do courtin' with such a roar. But tho engineers their kises will blow From a whistle valve to the girls they know:, An' the stokers the name of their sweet hearts tell, With the Belle! Nell! Dell ! of the sway ing bell. Robert J. liurih-tte, in Life. HIE TOHtlXG. A young fanner who was very unlucky snt on his plow a moment to rest, and just then nn old woman crept past and pried: "Why do you goon drudging duy mid night without reward? Walk two days till you como to a fir tree that stands all alone in the forest and over tops ull other trees. If you can hew it down you will make your fortune." Not waiting to have tho advice re peated the farmer shouldered his ax and started on his journey. Sure enough, after tramping two days, he came to the Cr tree, which ho instantly prepared to cut down. Just as the tree swayed, and before it fell with a crash, there dropped out of its branches a nest containing two eggs. The eggs rolled to the ground and broke, and there darted out of ono a young eagle and out of the other rolled a gold ring. The eagle grew larger, as if by enchantment, and when it reached the Bize of a man it spread its wings as if to try their strength, then, soaring upward, it cried: "You have rescued me; take as a reward the ring that lay in the other egg; it is a wish-ring. Turn it ou your finger twice, and 'whatever your wish is it shall be fulfilled. I5ut remember there is but a single wish in the ring. No sooner is that granted than it loses its power, and is only an ordinary ring. Therefore, consider well what you desire, so that you may never have reason to re pent your choice." 8o speaking, the eagle soared high in the air, circled over tho farmer's head a few times, then darted, like an arrow, toward the east. Tho farmer took the ring, placed it on his finger, and turned on his way home ward. Toward evening he reached a town where a jeweler sat in his shop be hind a couirter on which lay many costly rings for sale. The furmer showed his own, and asked the merchant its value. " It isn't worth a straw," the jeweler answered. Upon thnt the fanner laughed heart ily, and told the man that it was a wish ring, a '.id of greater value than all the rings in the shop together. The jeweler was a wicked, designing nun, so he invited tho fanner to remain as his guest over night. " For," he ex plained, "only to shelter a man who owns a w ish-ring must bring luck." Bo he treated his guest to wine and fair words; and that night, as the farmer lay sound asleep, the wicked man stoh' the magic ring from his linger and slipped on, in its place, a common one which he had made to resemble the wish-ring. VOL. 171. NO. 32. The next morning tho jeweler was all impatience to have tho farmer begone. IIu awakened him at cock-crow and said : " You had bitter go, for you still have ft long journey before you." As soon ns the farmer had departed the jeweler closed hiH shop, put up the shutters bo that no one could peep in, bolted tho door behind him, and, stand ing in the middle of tho room, ho turned tho ring and cried: "I wish instantly to possess a million gold pieces!" No sooner said than tho great, shining gold pieces came pouring down upon him in a golden torrent over his head, shoulders and arms. Pitifully he ' cried for mercy, and tried to reach and unbar the door; but before ho succeeded lie stumbled and fell bleeding to the ground. As for the golden rain it never stopped till the weight of the metal crushed tho floor, and the jeweler and his money sank through to tho cellar. The gold still poured down till the million was complete, and the jeweler lay dead in the cellar beneath his treasure. The noise, however, alarmed the neighbors, who came rushing over to see what the matter was; when they saw the man dead under his gold, they ex claimed: "Doubly unfortunate he whom blessings kill." Afterward the heirs came and divided tho property. In the meantime the farmer reached home in high spirits and showed the ring to hiB wifo. " Henceforth we shall never more be in want, dear wife," ho said. "Our fortune is made. Only we must be very careful to consider well just what we ought to wish." The farmer's wife, of course, proffered advice. "Suppose," said she, "that we wish for that bit of land that lies between our two fields?" "That isn't worth while," her husband replied. "If we work hard for a year we'll earn enough money to buy it." So the two worked very hard, and at harvest time they had never raised such a crop before. They had earned money enough to buy the coveted strip of land and still have a bit to spare. "See," said the man, "we have the land and the wish as well." The fanner's wifo then sucriiested that they had better wish for a cow and a horse. But tho man replied: "Wife, w hy waste our wish on such trifles? Tho horse and cow we'll get anyway." Sure enough, in a year's time the money for the horse and cow had been earned. Joyfully the man rubbed Ids hands. " The wish is saved again this year, and yet we have what we desire. How lucky we are !" But now his wife seriously adjured him to wish for something at 'last. "Now that v,-i ' -ive a wish to bo granted," she said, on slave and toil, and are con tent with everything. You might be king, emperor, baron, even a gentleman farmer, with chests overflowing with gold; but you don't know what you want." " We are young and life is long." he answered. " There is only one wish in the ring, and that is easily said. Who knows but sometime we may sorely need t his wish ? Are we in want of anything ? Have we not prospered, to all people's astonishment, since we possessed this ring ? Bo reasonable ana patient for awhile. In tho meantime, consider what we really ought to wish for." And that w as the end of the matter. It really seemed as if the ring had brought a blessing into the house. Granaries and barns were full to over flowing, and in the course of a few years Iho poor farmer became a rich and portly person, who worked with his men afield during the day, as if he, too, had to earn his daily bread; but after supper he liked to sit in his porch, contented and comfortable, and return the kindly greet ing of the folk who passed and who wished him a respectful good-evening. So the years went by. Sometimes, when they were alone, the farmer's wife would remind her husband of the magic ring, and suggest many plans. But as he always answered that they had plenty of time, and that the best thoughts como last, she more and more rarely men tioned the ring, and at last the good woman ceased speaking of it altogether. To be Brirc, the farmer looked at the ring and twirled it about as many as twenty times a day; but he was very careiui never to wish. After thirty or forty years had passed away, and the farmer and his wife had grown old and white-haired, and their wish was still unasked, then was God very good to them, and on the same night they died peacefully and happily. Weeping children and grandchildren surrounded tho two cotlias; and as one wished to remove tho ring from the still hand as a remembrance the oldest son said: "Let our father take his ring into the grave. There was always a mystery about it; perhaps it was some dear re membrance. Our mother, too, so often looked at the ring she may have given it to him when they were young." So the old furmer was buried with tho ring, which had been supposed to be a wish-ring, and was not; yet it brought as much good fortune into the house as heart could desire. Anna Eichbcrg, in tit. Nicholas. Showers of Fishes. Tlj,e coast of Mexico, near Vera Cruz, not long ago had a shower of fishes, causing the utmost consternation. A similar thing happened at San Luis Potosi. Superstitious people talked about the end of the world. The fishes were a species of sardines not familiar in the neighborhood. A shower years ago in Wales was of a small fish known as stiekle-backs, sprinkling the ground over an area of several square miles. They were alive when they fell ; yet if caught up by a whirlwind from any of the brackish ponds near the sea in which this species of fish abounds they must have been conveyed through the air a distance of thirty miles. . TIONESTA, PA., WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 14, 1883. A CHINESE EATING-HOUSE. T-XSIT TO AIT ORIENTAL RESTAUR ANT IH NEW YORK. Strange niklirw Partaken of by it It p. jii neriiie Vuuwa anil tho I l ""1 hlnne Idolan y. Sam Leo is the fuimlhs Chinese res taurateur of this city, and his shop on Mott street is the resort for his nabob countrymen, who regale themselves with a first-class dinner cooked in true native styl Sarn belongs to the Auh Wall faction, having been born outside tho great wall that encircles the ancient eiu pirc. Only a few, such as wealthy washer men or fortunalc gamblers, who have beaten the inexplicable same of tan. which is in continual progress across the street, become reckless enough to squander twenty-five cents for a Sunday dinner at tho Cafe Chine, as it is famil iarly termed. For certain dishes, such as duck, fish nnu game, fenm s reputation stands un rivaled, and the almond-eyed trourmands linger long to smoke tho after-dinner cigarette, which accompanies every first class meal, and discuss current home events. "Youlikee China dinnee ?" said Gon Lung, the vice-president of the Woo Foo company, to a World reporter. A pod in the affirmative caused him to say : "Bella good. We go to Sam Lee; him cookee boss." And he looked over tho broad rim of his armored spectacles which gave him the appearance of a dry fog in search of a bath. The dining hall situated on the second floor was reached by means of a narrow staircase which led to a room filled with small tables neatly covered with figured damask. The walls from. the ceiling to the floor are covered with the various newspapers which are intended to be read as the guest munches his meals. In the far-off corner behind a little counter stood a solemn Chinaman who filled a number of littlo saucers with the contents of half a dozen grotesque jars in front of hiin, with the gravity of min isters, while round about ranged on shelves were countless numbers of little teapots each holding about a cup. There was no smell of cooking, as the kitchen is on the roof and the dishes go up and down the dumb waiter with military regularity. The dinner was served by a waiter in spotless white, who arrived bearing a tray on which were two cups of rice boiled in such a way as to have each kernel retain its distinct form, a jug of curry sauco and four chop ticks. Without waiting Gon opened iho ball by mixing his rice and curry, then rais ing tho cup to his mouth by a peculiar shoveling action soon emptied the dish, while his welcome guest was vainly at tempting to catch ou to a grain of rice with the sticks; a spoon soon remedied the defect, and the meal proceeded with out further interruption. "He has forgotten to bring the bread," was the remark ventured as tho next course, consisting of roast duck cut in slices, over which was poured a peculiar smelling mustard sauce, and a plate of preserved ginger was brought on. , "Chinaman no eatee blend no good," answered Gon, as he steadied the chop sticks, and grabbing a slice of duck dipped it first into the mustard then into the ginger. Chopsticks proved but a poor apology for a knife and fork, and Gou's aptitude in their use rewarded him with a lion's share of the duck, which was a very palatable dish of excellent flavor. Time w as called, and the last round, comprising six varieties of preserves and a pudding, that looked like a hole, lined with a thin layer of dough stuffed with nuts, was tackeled. It was in perfect harmony with the rest, and so light that it appeared to digest itself in the mouth without bothering the already filled Stomach. Two pots of tea with an odor of roses, and two small cups, holding about twice the quantity of a largo thimble, accom panied by two cigarettes, ended the repast. The mention of sugar and milk again aroused the Celestial's indignation, anil he shot forth a volume of criticism on American taste. The bill, amounting to sixty cents, was paid part in pennies and the rest in nickels drawn from a bag which he carried in tho inside of his loose blouse. And Sam Lee, to show his good fellow ship, "set 'em up" in the shape of a glass of "rice brandy." It is, by tho way, not a drink that is likely to be copied by American barkeepers. It could no doubt be easily imitated In judiciously miiing a largo quantity of astral oil and aqua fortis. At the Joss-house the high priest re ceived tho nabob with a salute, and donned a cap which was composed of bamboo sticks about two feet high, about which painted papers hung in great pro fusion. Ho escorted his visitors to tho rear room where the altar, filled with hideous-looking idols in all conceivable shapes, stood surrounded by a number of Chinamen who lay before it prostrate, with the backs of their hands resting on the floor, while their noses touched the rug. They were muttering something, occasionally raising their heads and gaz ing intently at the big idol, then drop ping buck again. Tho priest removed his hat, and stick ing a few lighted tapers into it, began a low wail which caused the suppliants to rise, and, dusting their baggy trousers, left the room, the short service was ended and red slips were passed around. They were advertisements of Ham Sou, an im porting grocer, who desired his friends to notice the fact that he had lately re ceived a few choice little josses, or gods, which would be sold cheap for cuh. eu York WurlJ. Hascals have not yet counterfeited tho holt-t, in ti.t postal notes. IHeayunt. The Baby on the Cars. There was a baby on a car'of the Chi cago, Burlington and Quincy railroad yes terday afternoon. It a baby in long clothes is always nn it was loaded to the muzzle with cry. It was a little thing, not more than two feet long, but it had more cry coiled up in it than you would suppose could be stowed away in a baby as big as a town constable. What wouldn't an auctioneer give for that baby's capacity! Well, the train and the baby got a good, even start, and for several miles t he passengers looked on with interest in the race. Almost anybody would bet, offhand, that o baby's steam would run down before an engine's, but if you knew this particular baby you would disdain all illegal propositions nnd declare your self "not a betting character;" which, by the way, is a most righteous declara tion when you have no sure thing. The poor, young mother of this porta ble noise factory was crimson with em barrassment, for, of cofirsc, every pas senger looked at her and seemed to her to say: "Why don't you shut up that squalling brat ?" Presently a man with long, flowing beard came up the aisle, chucked the baby under the chin, made a horrid grimace, and simpered: "Da, da, da,' tootle te tooty." The baby was crying as loud as it could, but this made it cry louder. A man across the way said perhaps there was ft pin sticking into it; and the baby was tipped and turned and wapsed about until investigation exploded tliis theory. "Probably got the colic," said a digni fied woman with a double chin. A man in a long duster gave it a pepperment lozenge, but the .baby declined it with kicks and yells. The poor mother looked down at the floor as if she wished to find a nail hole to slip through. A kind-looking woman came from the other end of the car, took the baby nnd pranced up and down the aisle, bobbing and jumping the bundle of scream until it was demonstrated that this was not the cure. She passed the baby to a man, who offered it his knife, but that was spitefully flung to the floor as the baby opened the steam throttle another notch. A young man with a struggling mus tache and high collar was looking out of a window whistling " Only a Pansy Blos som." Ho turned his head languidly and suggested to the man who was trot ting the screaming infant on his knee trying to shake its lungs down into the muiiling folds of its long skirts, " If you folks keep on until you frighten tho baby to death it'll stop crying, I guess." Every eye in the cai shot a blood-red glare at that young man. What did ho know about babies, the strippling? But the baby was passed back to its mother and all the passengers sat still and pouted over the insult. Then the baby in tho dense quietude laid its little head upon its mother's shoulder, sniffled a few sobs, and fell into a peaceful, noiseless slum ber, and the young man turtled his head down into his high collar and continued his tribute to tho pansy blossom, while the other passengers thought, " Now ho thinks he's smart, doesn't he?" Chicago Aeics. The Hot Mater Cure. Just at the moment when cold water cures, milk cures, whey cures, grape cures and starvation cures occupy in Eu rope the attention of those who, perhaps, are in great measure personally responsi ble for wanting any cure at all, a new one has sprung up in this country and has already found followers in England. The drinking of hot water was an old fashioned practice among persons with impaired digestive organs. Hot water as a cosmetic hag greatly advanced in favor during the present London season, while the practice of drinking water as near to uumiif; iiuiiil us is jiossiuie nas iiiKcn to itself a supplementary treatment in the United States. The probably apocryphal saying attributed to Diane de Poietiers that she owed the preservation of her beauty to the use of cold water is grad ually becoming discredited, nnd Phyllis no longer laves her lovely features in" the cool translucent wave, but in the same made almost boiling hot. As, a few years ago, people were enthusiastic about cold tubbing, most meritorious w hen the ice on the top required to be broken with a bootjack, so is a kind of scalding propa ganda in progress at the present mo ment, and those who clung most desper ately to tho gelid tub are now quietly pushed into lukewarm if not hot water. 1 lie matter of external application seems thus to be settled for the present, but the swallowing of scalding water is recommended at various times and sea sons. .Many excellent people begin tho day with it, and declare its effect excel lent; while others " never drink any thing else after dinner," insisting that it is a sovereign remedy against dyspepsia. The quantity taken as a dose, from ono to two tumblers, is a little amazing at first, for there is a " maist siVies deal o' drinking" in a pint cf very hot water. Two tumblers are generally prescribed, to be taken an hour and a half before eating, the complementary part of tho cure a meal of chopped beefsteak. Xeto Turk lliur. W hen. '' When shall we be married, dearest?" asked Grctchcu, looking up into the faco of her American lover with eyes that re flected tho deep, inextinguishable lovo that makes the Teutonic maiden willing to cross the Atlantic as a stewardess in the steerage cabin of a Hamburg steamer rather than suffer an ocean to separate her from the object of her affections. " When shall wo be married V Pcicivul Fleming buried his nose in the abundance of her Saxon curls, and to all nppeurauces addressing the back of her head, passionately answered: "When you give up curing sauerkraut, Gretchen." Brooklyn Eagle. $1.50 PER ANNUM. SCIENTIFIC AND INDUSTRIAL. It is stated that a Paris firm has pat ented nn invention for the instantaneous formation of steam. Engineering is responsible for the state ment that a vessel constructed of paper has been launched in St. Petersburg. She is driven by steam. It has been calculated that to make the 0.10,000 tons of paper annually required for tho supply of the world, 430 days' medium flow of water down the river Thames would be needed. Captain Rchufcldt, of the United States anny medical corps, has forwarded to the Smithsonian institution a collection Df some 3,000 specimens of vertebrates and invertebrates collected around New Orleans. An ingenious apparatus called a " fire damp indicator " has been invented in Geneva. Every hour or half hour the air of the mine is forced into the burner by a bellows and the result is registered in tho central office. Celluloid will not be as popular in the future as it has been, if a new substance which has been made up in London proves successful. It possesses all the tiardncss and brilliancy of celluloid, and is, beside, fireproof. When cattle are intended to be ma liciously destroyed in India they are pierced with a thorn of the Arbus preca iorius. Death ensues on the second day. Strange to say, the pounded seeds, taken internally, have little action. ' A writer in the Journal of Science, in nn nrticle on "Cram and Its Amenities," claims that brainwork is not by itself physically injurious, but that, when within reasonable bounds, it is distinctly favorable to long life ; and he enforces his argument with some happy illustra tions. A new and curious use for the euca lyptus tree, already famed ns nn antidoto to malaria, was discovered bv accident ' lately in California. The leaves, it has Deen iounu, act as a preventive oi that incmstation of steam boilers which leads to their gradual corrosion and is said to be almost the sole cause of explosions. Dried apricots are likely to be a promi nent article of export from California. Heretofore this fruit has been put up al most entirely in tin cans, but, in conse quence of overproduction, the canning factories reduced the price paid to the farmer to such a figure that he was driven to experimenting with various processes of drying, and discovered a method that leaves the fruit in a delicious state. Among tho various substances found on the "coated " human tongue after a microscopical examination are the follow ing : Fibers of wood, linen and cotton ; fibers of spiral vessels, fibers of muscle, in one case eight hours after eating; starch grains, cheese mold, portions of potato skins, scales, moths, etc."1, hair from legs of bees and of spiders, pollen of various flowers and their stamens; hairs from various leaves, in one case the wing of a mosquito; fragments of tho leaves of tobacco very frequently, and of chamomile flowers, etc., occur repeat' edly. Triumph of Surgery. Modern surgery is able to provide a man with a new nose, new lips, new eye lids, and an artificial throat. It can do more ; it can, by the process known as skingraftiug, provide him with a new skin. The following description of the process is reported by an English surgeon : The patient, a pretty little girl of eight, was admitted into St. George's hospitul. Two 'ears previously her dress had caught fire, burning both legs from the hips to the knees severely. After a year's treatment the left thigh had healed up; but the right had never got better, and presented a terrible tilcer, extending all down the outer side. For four mouths she lay there without any signs of im provement. On May 5 the child was brought into the operating theatre and placed under tho influence of chloroform. Two small pieces of skin were then snipped from the back with a pair of sharp pointed scissors, and imbedded planted, in fact in the granulations or "proud flesh" of tho wound two tiny atoms, scarcely bigger than a pin's head, anil consisting of little more than the cuticle or outer skin which we raise in blisters by rowing or exposure to the hot sun. Five days later no change was visible, and by-and-byo the operation was con sidered to have failed, since the pieces of skin had disappeared, instead of grow ing, as had been expected. But twelve days after the operation two little white cicatrices appeared where the seed had been sown; and in my notes I find that a week later these were big enough to be dignified as "islands of new tissue." The most wonderful part of it was that not only did these islands grow and in crease rapidly in circumference, but the fact of their presence seemed to stimulate, the ulcer itself, which forthwith took on a healing action around its margin. Sev eral more grafts were implanted subse quently, including morsels from Mr. Pol lock's arm, from my own, and from the shoulder of a negro; the last producing a white scar-tissue like tho rest. In twi; months tho wound was healed, and the littlo patient was discharged cured. Getting Even. Friend to Artist "I see tho art com inittee rejected that picture of yours." Artist " Yes, and it's all because out of the members was prejudiced uguinsl me. But I'll pet even, you bet." Friend "I'll tell you how to get youi revenge I" Artist "How?" Friend "Paint his portrait." Lotii ille Courier-Jouruul. Mr. Corrodus. the eminent violinist i .i...' .. . . . i lias in i uiui; iuu j,ti.-i.-i nT.oi , iu 11 CO.-l til $3,400, of tho Stradivari us violin once owned and used by Pajranini. RATES OF ADVERTISING. One Rqnnre, one inch, on insertion... 00 One Square, one inch, nut month 800 ( Hie Square, one inch, three months. . . 00 ( )ne Square, one inch, one y eat 10 00 'J wo Sqimrew, one year., 16 00 Qnnrtor Column, one year ft) 00 Half Column, one year tC 00 One Column, one year....... 100 00 Ignl notices nt established rates. Mnrriarre and death notice? gratia. All hill for yenrly adTertir.emcrjte collected quarterly. Temporary advertisement mut be paid in ndvance. Job work, cah on delivery. QUESTIONS. Were I bird to fly unto thee In the wild weather, tho wind nnd rain. Beating my wings at thy window pane, Would thou thy caserr.ent open to met In thy soft hands where I nestled warm, I thould forget the cold and the storm, Sheltered with thee. Or would thou cold and unheeding be, Turning to leave me affrighted thore, Fluttering, throbbing, in mute despair I Then, thou no pity showing to me, Fainting I'd fall in tho stormy night, Death 'neat.h thy casement's mocking light, Iiriven from Dice. Were I a leaflet to float to thee, Drenched with the dews of the morning sweet, Lying in sunshine, low at thy feet, Would thou not, tenderly lifting me, Keep me to prove to the winter snows, That the dead summer had her rose, Cherished by thee ? . Or would thou, finding no joy in me, Leave me to perish beside thy way, A lit'Ie rose-leaf withered and gray Uta my heart, unremembered to be ; There in the sunlight moldering to he, Ci ushed by thy feet as they hurried by, Forgotten by thee ! HUMOR OF THE DAY. One of the naturalists gives the com forting assurance, as he calls it, that a bee can sting only once. Once is enough. A muff is defined as "a thing which holds a girl's hands nnd don't squeeze it." Correct; nnd any fellow's "a muff" who will hold a girl's hand without squeezing it. Emory Storrs is said to -pf sess 300 neckties. What advantage tc'-i.imifhe guin a thousand neckties and loses his own collar-button under the bureau ? Xeie York Graphic. A scientist asks: "now was man dis tributed on the earth?" Well, brother, judging from a painful experience, we . would say it was by meaus of an insid ious banana peel. Almost any man will forget his ten-dollar umbrella when he leaves a restaurant ; but give a woman a parasol worth $1 and take her into fifty restaurants, nnd she will not forget it once. Puck. It fs one of the uncxplainable things of moral ethics how people decide so promptly as to how littlo rain and bad weather it takes to keep them away from prayer-meeting; and how much is re quired to keep them away from a good show. " No, sir," said the young lawyer who was paying attention to a fair maiden, "no, sir, I don't like a circuit court. There's no fun in being chased around the house by a cross dog before getting a chance to dive in the front door." A'eic York Journal. "Do you know why you and George remind me of two shades of one color?" asked a young lady of a companion who had been engaged for a good many years. "No," was the reply. "I'll tell you, then; it's because you don't match." Philadelphia Call. Mrs. Langtry says that Oscar Wilde is destined to do great deeds in the near future. This probably means that he in tends to destroy the manuhcript of the new play on w hich he has been engaged for some time, nnd embark in the respect able and ennobling occupation of saw ing wood. Xorristown Herald. A gentleman visiting a school had a book put into his hand for the purpose of examining a class. Tho word "inherit ance" occurring in a verse, the querist interrogated one of the youngsters as follows: " What is patrimony?" ''Some thing left by a father." "What would you call it if "left by a mother?'' "Matri mony." A Norristown married man can heavily discount Yennor as a prognosticator. When the former starts for home at 1 o'clock in tho morning he always pre dicts a "storm" within an hour, and never made a miss but once, and then he found his wife sound asleep when he reached home. Next morning she de clared that she had been drugged. Jorrintowu Herald. " What are you doing there?" de manded a policeman of a man who sat on a fence howling. "That feller in tho house shot my dog because ho how led, nnd I'm carrying out the dog's contract. I'm going to howl here until I think the dog's death has been sufficiently avenged. If he shoots me my son w iil how l out my contract, and if further harm should be fall my family my wife will come out and how l till he can't rest. Oh, but wo aro howlers !" Arkitnmttc 1'nut ler. Tho Oldest Woman in the World. At Auberine-en-Hoyans, a village in the Dauphine, situated between Valence and Grenoble, may be seen an old woman living in a hut in a narrow street who has reached the extraordinary ago of 123 years. She has no infirmity except slight deafness, being in full possession of her mental faculties. According to her marriage certificate the completed in January last her 100th year since marriage. She was a "canti niere" under the First Empire, and had two sons killed lit the battle of Friedland and in Spain. She is supported entirely on the alms given her by visitors, who go from great distances to see her as an ob ject of curiosity, and her neighbors help her to do her household work. She lives) almost exclusively on soup made w ith bread, to w hich is added u little wine and sometimes a little ln-andy. Dr. Bonne, who practices in tho neigh borhood, states that slw is never ill. Her tkin is like parchment, but he is com paratively upright, mid is of scrupulously clean habits. mdn Lancet. i
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers