4r crest llfpaMirca
1 " " 1 -1 . i. i i , , . , .. ....
J. E. WENK.
Omoo In Smiearbangh & Oo.'i Bulldin
ELM STREET, . TI0NE3TA, PA.
si.no peh yeaii.
ntr'TT?1"1 fra all part, at the
tNQINEEKS MAKING LOVE,
.-venr y every eiurlrii-er on the New York and New
KriL'liincl railroad him n.woelhrrt or wife In New
' MUlii, ( i,nn. Kvcry train would whintle a eiiluta
io eonie flr Hiimc. nncl the din prew o fearfully
rar-ipiitUtig that t,0 Riitborlllee have had It lOi)ed.
noon when Thirty five is due,
An' she nimpi on time, like a flnsh of light,
An' you hear hor whist In, "Too-fr too!"
Long 'fore t he pilot swing in sight.
Bill Mad.lon's driving her In to-day
i u' he's call i n' his swont heart, far a way
Oertrude Hurd lives down by the mill;
"You might see hor blushin'; she knows
it s Bill.
"Tu-die! Toot-oe! Tudio! Tul"
Six-five a, M. there's a lo al comes
Mulct up at Bristol, runnin' east;
Aa' Iho way her whistle sings on' hums
la a livin' caution to man anil' beast.
Every one knows who Jack White calls
IJltlo Iiu Woodbury, down by the Falls;
Summer or winter, always the fame,
She hears her lover caLm her name
"Iiou-io! Lou-io! Ixo-iee!"
At six fifty-eight you can hear Twenty-one
Go thunder,n' west, and of nil the screams
That ever startled the rising sun,
Jehu Davis sends into your dreams.
j But I don't mind it; it makes me grin
j For just down here whore the creok lots
in,
His wifo, Jerusha, can hear him call,
Loud as a throat of brass can bawl
" Jceo-rooo-Kheel Je-hoo!"
, But at one fifty-one, old Sixty-four
Br ston express runs east, c lear through
lrowns her rattle and rumble, and roar
With the softest whistle that ever blew.
-An' away on the furthest edge of the
town,
Sweet Suo Winthrop's eyes of brown
Shine like the starliuht. bright an' clear,
When tho hears tho whistle of Abel Gear,
" You-ou on, Bu-u-u-u-e!"
Alon; at midnight a freight comes in,
I .eaves Berlin Fome time I don't know
when
But it rumbles along with a fearful din,
Till it reaches tho Y-witch, and then
Tin clearest notes of tho softest bell
That out of a brazen goblet foil, 1
Wake Nellie Minton out of her dreams
To her like a wedding b'll it seems
"Noll, Nell, Nolll Nell, Nell, Nell!"
An' somewhere Intc in the afternoon,
You'll see, Thirty-seven go streak in' west;
It's !o al, from Hartford; same old tune
Niw set for tho girl that loves him best.
Tom Wilson rides on the righthand side,
Givin' hor steam at every stride;
An' ho touches the whistle, low an' clear,
For I.ulu Gray, on the hill, to hoar
"Lu lu! Loo loo!"
fo it goes on all day an' nil night,
Till the old folks have votoi the thing a
boro;
Old maids and bachelors says it ain't right
For folks to do courtin' with such a roar.
But tho engineers their kises will blow
From a whistle valve to the girls they
know:,
An' the stokers the name of their sweet
hearts tell,
With the Belle! Nell! Dell ! of the sway
ing bell.
Robert J. liurih-tte, in Life.
HIE TOHtlXG.
A young fanner who was very unlucky
snt on his plow a moment to rest, and
just then nn old woman crept past and
pried: "Why do you goon drudging
duy mid night without reward? Walk
two days till you como to a fir tree that
stands all alone in the forest and over
tops ull other trees. If you can hew it
down you will make your fortune."
Not waiting to have tho advice re
peated the farmer shouldered his ax
and started on his journey. Sure enough,
after tramping two days, he came to the
Cr tree, which ho instantly prepared to
cut down. Just as the tree swayed, and
before it fell with a crash, there dropped
out of its branches a nest containing two
eggs. The eggs rolled to the ground and
broke, and there darted out of ono a
young eagle and out of the other rolled a
gold ring. The eagle grew larger, as if
by enchantment, and when it reached the
Bize of a man it spread its wings as if to
try their strength, then, soaring upward,
it cried: "You have rescued me; take
as a reward the ring that lay in the other
egg; it is a wish-ring. Turn it ou your
finger twice, and 'whatever your wish is
it shall be fulfilled. I5ut remember there
is but a single wish in the ring. No
sooner is that granted than it loses its
power, and is only an ordinary ring.
Therefore, consider well what you desire,
so that you may never have reason to re
pent your choice." 8o speaking, the
eagle soared high in the air, circled over
tho farmer's head a few times, then
darted, like an arrow, toward the east.
Tho farmer took the ring, placed it on
his finger, and turned on his way home
ward. Toward evening he reached a
town where a jeweler sat in his shop be
hind a couirter on which lay many costly
rings for sale. The furmer showed his
own, and asked the merchant its value.
" It isn't worth a straw," the jeweler
answered.
Upon thnt the fanner laughed heart
ily, and told the man that it was a wish
ring, a '.id of greater value than all the
rings in the shop together.
The jeweler was a wicked, designing
nun, so he invited tho fanner to remain
as his guest over night. " For," he ex
plained, "only to shelter a man who
owns a w ish-ring must bring luck."
Bo he treated his guest to wine and
fair words; and that night, as the farmer
lay sound asleep, the wicked man stoh'
the magic ring from his linger and slipped
on, in its place, a common one which he
had made to resemble the wish-ring.
VOL. 171. NO. 32.
The next morning tho jeweler was all
impatience to have tho farmer begone.
IIu awakened him at cock-crow and
said : " You had bitter go, for you still
have ft long journey before you."
As soon ns the farmer had departed
the jeweler closed hiH shop, put up the
shutters bo that no one could peep in,
bolted tho door behind him, and, stand
ing in the middle of tho room, ho turned
tho ring and cried: "I wish instantly
to possess a million gold pieces!"
No sooner said than tho great, shining
gold pieces came pouring down upon
him in a golden torrent over his head,
shoulders and arms. Pitifully he ' cried
for mercy, and tried to reach and unbar
the door; but before ho succeeded lie
stumbled and fell bleeding to the ground.
As for the golden rain it never stopped
till the weight of the metal crushed tho
floor, and the jeweler and his money
sank through to tho cellar. The gold
still poured down till the million was
complete, and the jeweler lay dead in
the cellar beneath his treasure.
The noise, however, alarmed the
neighbors, who came rushing over to see
what the matter was; when they saw the
man dead under his gold, they ex
claimed: "Doubly unfortunate he
whom blessings kill." Afterward the
heirs came and divided tho property.
In the meantime the farmer reached
home in high spirits and showed the
ring to hiB wifo.
" Henceforth we shall never more be
in want, dear wife," ho said. "Our
fortune is made. Only we must be very
careful to consider well just what we
ought to wish."
The farmer's wife, of course, proffered
advice.
"Suppose," said she, "that we wish
for that bit of land that lies between our
two fields?"
"That isn't worth while," her husband
replied. "If we work hard for a year
we'll earn enough money to buy it."
So the two worked very hard, and at
harvest time they had never raised such
a crop before. They had earned money
enough to buy the coveted strip of land
and still have a bit to spare.
"See," said the man, "we have the
land and the wish as well."
The fanner's wifo then sucriiested that
they had better wish for a cow and a
horse. But tho man replied: "Wife,
w hy waste our wish on such trifles? Tho
horse and cow we'll get anyway."
Sure enough, in a year's time the money
for the horse and cow had been earned.
Joyfully the man rubbed Ids hands.
" The wish is saved again this year, and
yet we have what we desire. How lucky
we are !"
But now his wife seriously adjured him
to wish for something at 'last. "Now
that v,-i ' -ive a wish to bo granted," she
said, on slave and toil, and are con
tent with everything. You might be
king, emperor, baron, even a gentleman
farmer, with chests overflowing with
gold; but you don't know what you
want."
" We are young and life is long." he
answered. " There is only one wish in
the ring, and that is easily said. Who
knows but sometime we may sorely need
t his wish ? Are we in want of anything ?
Have we not prospered, to all people's
astonishment, since we possessed this
ring ? Bo reasonable ana patient for
awhile. In tho meantime, consider
what we really ought to wish for."
And that w as the end of the matter.
It really seemed as if the ring had
brought a blessing into the house.
Granaries and barns were full to over
flowing, and in the course of a few years
Iho poor farmer became a rich and portly
person, who worked with his men afield
during the day, as if he, too, had to earn
his daily bread; but after supper he
liked to sit in his porch, contented and
comfortable, and return the kindly greet
ing of the folk who passed and who
wished him a respectful good-evening.
So the years went by. Sometimes,
when they were alone, the farmer's wife
would remind her husband of the magic
ring, and suggest many plans. But as
he always answered that they had plenty
of time, and that the best thoughts como
last, she more and more rarely men
tioned the ring, and at last the good
woman ceased speaking of it altogether.
To be Brirc, the farmer looked at the
ring and twirled it about as many as
twenty times a day; but he was very
careiui never to wish.
After thirty or forty years had passed
away, and the farmer and his wife had
grown old and white-haired, and their
wish was still unasked, then was God
very good to them, and on the same night
they died peacefully and happily.
Weeping children and grandchildren
surrounded tho two cotlias; and as one
wished to remove tho ring from the still
hand as a remembrance the oldest son
said: "Let our father take his ring into
the grave. There was always a mystery
about it; perhaps it was some dear re
membrance. Our mother, too, so often
looked at the ring she may have given
it to him when they were young."
So the old furmer was buried with tho
ring, which had been supposed to be a
wish-ring, and was not; yet it brought
as much good fortune into the house as
heart could desire. Anna Eichbcrg, in
tit. Nicholas.
Showers of Fishes.
Tlj,e coast of Mexico, near Vera Cruz,
not long ago had a shower of fishes,
causing the utmost consternation. A
similar thing happened at San Luis
Potosi. Superstitious people talked
about the end of the world. The fishes
were a species of sardines not familiar in
the neighborhood. A shower years ago
in Wales was of a small fish known as
stiekle-backs, sprinkling the ground over
an area of several square miles. They
were alive when they fell ; yet if caught
up by a whirlwind from any of the
brackish ponds near the sea in which this
species of fish abounds they must have
been conveyed through the air a distance
of thirty miles. .
TIONESTA, PA., WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 14, 1883.
A CHINESE EATING-HOUSE.
T-XSIT TO AIT ORIENTAL RESTAUR
ANT IH NEW YORK.
Strange niklirw Partaken of by it It p.
jii neriiie Vuuwa anil tho I l
""1 hlnne Idolan y.
Sam Leo is the fuimlhs Chinese res
taurateur of this city, and his shop on
Mott street is the resort for his nabob
countrymen, who regale themselves with
a first-class dinner cooked in true native
styl Sarn belongs to the Auh Wall
faction, having been born outside tho
great wall that encircles the ancient eiu
pirc.
Only a few, such as wealthy washer
men or fortunalc gamblers, who have
beaten the inexplicable same of tan.
which is in continual progress across the
street, become reckless enough to
squander twenty-five cents for a Sunday
dinner at tho Cafe Chine, as it is famil
iarly termed.
For certain dishes, such as duck, fish
nnu game, fenm s reputation stands un
rivaled, and the almond-eyed trourmands
linger long to smoke tho after-dinner
cigarette, which accompanies every first
class meal, and discuss current home
events.
"Youlikee China dinnee ?" said Gon
Lung, the vice-president of the Woo Foo
company, to a World reporter. A pod in
the affirmative caused him to say :
"Bella good. We go to Sam Lee;
him cookee boss." And he looked over
tho broad rim of his armored spectacles
which gave him the appearance of a
dry fog in search of a bath.
The dining hall situated on the second
floor was reached by means of a narrow
staircase which led to a room filled with
small tables neatly covered with figured
damask. The walls from. the ceiling to
the floor are covered with the various
newspapers which are intended to be read
as the guest munches his meals.
In the far-off corner behind a little
counter stood a solemn Chinaman who
filled a number of littlo saucers with the
contents of half a dozen grotesque jars
in front of hiin, with the gravity of min
isters, while round about ranged on
shelves were countless numbers of little
teapots each holding about a cup. There
was no smell of cooking, as the kitchen
is on the roof and the dishes go up and
down the dumb waiter with military
regularity. The dinner was served by a
waiter in spotless white, who arrived
bearing a tray on which were two cups
of rice boiled in such a way as to have
each kernel retain its distinct form, a jug
of curry sauco and four chop ticks.
Without waiting Gon opened iho ball
by mixing his rice and curry, then rais
ing tho cup to his mouth by a peculiar
shoveling action soon emptied the dish,
while his welcome guest was vainly at
tempting to catch ou to a grain of rice
with the sticks; a spoon soon remedied
the defect, and the meal proceeded with
out further interruption.
"He has forgotten to bring the bread,"
was the remark ventured as tho next
course, consisting of roast duck cut in
slices, over which was poured a peculiar
smelling mustard sauce, and a plate of
preserved ginger was brought on.
, "Chinaman no eatee blend no good,"
answered Gon, as he steadied the chop
sticks, and grabbing a slice of duck
dipped it first into the mustard then into
the ginger. Chopsticks proved but a
poor apology for a knife and fork, and
Gou's aptitude in their use rewarded him
with a lion's share of the duck, which
was a very palatable dish of excellent
flavor.
Time w as called, and the last round,
comprising six varieties of preserves and
a pudding, that looked like a hole, lined
with a thin layer of dough stuffed with
nuts, was tackeled. It was in perfect
harmony with the rest, and so light that
it appeared to digest itself in the mouth
without bothering the already filled
Stomach.
Two pots of tea with an odor of roses,
and two small cups, holding about twice
the quantity of a largo thimble, accom
panied by two cigarettes, ended the repast.
The mention of sugar and milk again
aroused the Celestial's indignation, anil
he shot forth a volume of criticism on
American taste.
The bill, amounting to sixty cents, was
paid part in pennies and the rest in
nickels drawn from a bag which he
carried in tho inside of his loose blouse.
And Sam Lee, to show his good fellow
ship, "set 'em up" in the shape of a
glass of "rice brandy." It is, by tho
way, not a drink that is likely to be
copied by American barkeepers. It
could no doubt be easily imitated In
judiciously miiing a largo quantity of
astral oil and aqua fortis.
At the Joss-house the high priest re
ceived tho nabob with a salute, and
donned a cap which was composed of
bamboo sticks about two feet high, about
which painted papers hung in great pro
fusion. Ho escorted his visitors to tho
rear room where the altar, filled with
hideous-looking idols in all conceivable
shapes, stood surrounded by a number of
Chinamen who lay before it prostrate,
with the backs of their hands resting on
the floor, while their noses touched the
rug. They were muttering something,
occasionally raising their heads and gaz
ing intently at the big idol, then drop
ping buck again.
Tho priest removed his hat, and stick
ing a few lighted tapers into it, began a
low wail which caused the suppliants to
rise, and, dusting their baggy trousers,
left the room, the short service was ended
and red slips were passed around. They
were advertisements of Ham Sou, an im
porting grocer, who desired his friends
to notice the fact that he had lately re
ceived a few choice little josses, or gods,
which would be sold cheap for cuh.
eu York WurlJ.
Hascals have not yet counterfeited tho
holt-t, in ti.t postal notes. IHeayunt.
The Baby on the Cars.
There was a baby on a car'of the Chi
cago, Burlington and Quincy railroad yes
terday afternoon.
It a baby in long clothes is always nn
it was loaded to the muzzle with cry.
It was a little thing, not more than two
feet long, but it had more cry coiled up
in it than you would suppose could be
stowed away in a baby as big as a town
constable. What wouldn't an auctioneer
give for that baby's capacity!
Well, the train and the baby got a
good, even start, and for several miles
t he passengers looked on with interest in
the race. Almost anybody would bet,
offhand, that o baby's steam would run
down before an engine's, but if you knew
this particular baby you would disdain
all illegal propositions nnd declare your
self "not a betting character;" which,
by the way, is a most righteous declara
tion when you have no sure thing.
The poor, young mother of this porta
ble noise factory was crimson with em
barrassment, for, of cofirsc, every pas
senger looked at her and seemed to her
to say: "Why don't you shut up that
squalling brat ?"
Presently a man with long, flowing
beard came up the aisle, chucked the
baby under the chin, made a horrid
grimace, and simpered: "Da, da, da,'
tootle te tooty."
The baby was crying as loud as it
could, but this made it cry louder.
A man across the way said perhaps
there was ft pin sticking into it; and the
baby was tipped and turned and wapsed
about until investigation exploded tliis
theory.
"Probably got the colic," said a digni
fied woman with a double chin. A man
in a long duster gave it a pepperment
lozenge, but the .baby declined it with
kicks and yells.
The poor mother looked down at the
floor as if she wished to find a nail hole
to slip through. A kind-looking woman
came from the other end of the car, took
the baby nnd pranced up and down the
aisle, bobbing and jumping the bundle
of scream until it was demonstrated that
this was not the cure. She passed
the baby to a man, who offered it his
knife, but that was spitefully flung to
the floor as the baby opened the steam
throttle another notch.
A young man with a struggling mus
tache and high collar was looking out of
a window whistling " Only a Pansy Blos
som." Ho turned his head languidly
and suggested to the man who was trot
ting the screaming infant on his knee
trying to shake its lungs down into the
muiiling folds of its long skirts, " If you
folks keep on until you frighten tho baby
to death it'll stop crying, I guess."
Every eye in the cai shot a blood-red
glare at that young man. What did ho
know about babies, the strippling? But
the baby was passed back to its mother
and all the passengers sat still and pouted
over the insult. Then the baby in tho
dense quietude laid its little head upon
its mother's shoulder, sniffled a few sobs,
and fell into a peaceful, noiseless slum
ber, and the young man turtled his head
down into his high collar and continued
his tribute to tho pansy blossom, while
the other passengers thought, " Now ho
thinks he's smart, doesn't he?" Chicago
Aeics.
The Hot Mater Cure.
Just at the moment when cold water
cures, milk cures, whey cures, grape
cures and starvation cures occupy in Eu
rope the attention of those who, perhaps,
are in great measure personally responsi
ble for wanting any cure at all, a new
one has sprung up in this country and
has already found followers in England.
The drinking of hot water was an old
fashioned practice among persons with
impaired digestive organs. Hot water as
a cosmetic hag greatly advanced in favor
during the present London season, while
the practice of drinking water as near to
uumiif; iiuiiil us is jiossiuie nas iiiKcn to
itself a supplementary treatment in the
United States. The probably apocryphal
saying attributed to Diane de Poietiers
that she owed the preservation of her
beauty to the use of cold water is grad
ually becoming discredited, nnd Phyllis
no longer laves her lovely features in" the
cool translucent wave, but in the same
made almost boiling hot. As, a few
years ago, people were enthusiastic about
cold tubbing, most meritorious w hen the
ice on the top required to be broken with
a bootjack, so is a kind of scalding propa
ganda in progress at the present mo
ment, and those who clung most desper
ately to tho gelid tub are now quietly
pushed into lukewarm if not hot water.
1 lie matter of external application
seems thus to be settled for the present,
but the swallowing of scalding water is
recommended at various times and sea
sons. .Many excellent people begin tho
day with it, and declare its effect excel
lent; while others " never drink any
thing else after dinner," insisting that it
is a sovereign remedy against dyspepsia.
The quantity taken as a dose, from ono
to two tumblers, is a little amazing at
first, for there is a " maist siVies deal o'
drinking" in a pint cf very hot water.
Two tumblers are generally prescribed,
to be taken an hour and a half before
eating, the complementary part of tho
cure a meal of chopped beefsteak. Xeto
Turk lliur.
W hen.
'' When shall we be married, dearest?"
asked Grctchcu, looking up into the faco
of her American lover with eyes that re
flected tho deep, inextinguishable lovo
that makes the Teutonic maiden willing
to cross the Atlantic as a stewardess in
the steerage cabin of a Hamburg steamer
rather than suffer an ocean to separate
her from the object of her affections.
" When shall wo be married V
Pcicivul Fleming buried his nose in
the abundance of her Saxon curls, and to
all nppeurauces addressing the back of
her head, passionately answered:
"When you give up curing sauerkraut,
Gretchen." Brooklyn Eagle.
$1.50 PER ANNUM.
SCIENTIFIC AND INDUSTRIAL.
It is stated that a Paris firm has pat
ented nn invention for the instantaneous
formation of steam.
Engineering is responsible for the state
ment that a vessel constructed of paper
has been launched in St. Petersburg.
She is driven by steam.
It has been calculated that to make the
0.10,000 tons of paper annually required
for tho supply of the world, 430 days'
medium flow of water down the river
Thames would be needed.
Captain Rchufcldt, of the United States
anny medical corps, has forwarded to
the Smithsonian institution a collection
Df some 3,000 specimens of vertebrates
and invertebrates collected around New
Orleans.
An ingenious apparatus called a " fire
damp indicator " has been invented in
Geneva. Every hour or half hour the
air of the mine is forced into the burner
by a bellows and the result is registered
in tho central office.
Celluloid will not be as popular in the
future as it has been, if a new substance
which has been made up in London
proves successful. It possesses all the
tiardncss and brilliancy of celluloid, and
is, beside, fireproof.
When cattle are intended to be ma
liciously destroyed in India they are
pierced with a thorn of the Arbus preca
iorius. Death ensues on the second day.
Strange to say, the pounded seeds, taken
internally, have little action.
' A writer in the Journal of Science, in
nn nrticle on "Cram and Its Amenities,"
claims that brainwork is not by itself
physically injurious, but that, when
within reasonable bounds, it is distinctly
favorable to long life ; and he enforces
his argument with some happy illustra
tions. A new and curious use for the euca
lyptus tree, already famed ns nn antidoto
to malaria, was discovered bv accident
' lately in California. The leaves, it has
Deen iounu, act as a preventive oi that
incmstation of steam boilers which leads
to their gradual corrosion and is said to
be almost the sole cause of explosions.
Dried apricots are likely to be a promi
nent article of export from California.
Heretofore this fruit has been put up al
most entirely in tin cans, but, in conse
quence of overproduction, the canning
factories reduced the price paid to the
farmer to such a figure that he was driven
to experimenting with various processes
of drying, and discovered a method that
leaves the fruit in a delicious state.
Among tho various substances found
on the "coated " human tongue after a
microscopical examination are the follow
ing : Fibers of wood, linen and cotton ;
fibers of spiral vessels, fibers of muscle,
in one case eight hours after eating;
starch grains, cheese mold, portions of
potato skins, scales, moths, etc."1, hair
from legs of bees and of spiders, pollen
of various flowers and their stamens;
hairs from various leaves, in one case the
wing of a mosquito; fragments of tho
leaves of tobacco very frequently, and of
chamomile flowers, etc., occur repeat'
edly.
Triumph of Surgery.
Modern surgery is able to provide a
man with a new nose, new lips, new eye
lids, and an artificial throat. It can do
more ; it can, by the process known as
skingraftiug, provide him with a new
skin. The following description of the
process is reported by an English surgeon :
The patient, a pretty little girl of eight,
was admitted into St. George's hospitul.
Two 'ears previously her dress had
caught fire, burning both legs from the
hips to the knees severely. After a year's
treatment the left thigh had healed up;
but the right had never got better, and
presented a terrible tilcer, extending all
down the outer side. For four mouths
she lay there without any signs of im
provement. On May 5 the child was
brought into the operating theatre and
placed under tho influence of chloroform.
Two small pieces of skin were then
snipped from the back with a pair of sharp
pointed scissors, and imbedded planted,
in fact in the granulations or "proud
flesh" of tho wound two tiny atoms,
scarcely bigger than a pin's head, anil
consisting of little more than the cuticle
or outer skin which we raise in blisters
by rowing or exposure to the hot sun.
Five days later no change was visible,
and by-and-byo the operation was con
sidered to have failed, since the pieces of
skin had disappeared, instead of grow
ing, as had been expected. But twelve
days after the operation two little white
cicatrices appeared where the seed had
been sown; and in my notes I find that a
week later these were big enough to be
dignified as "islands of new tissue."
The most wonderful part of it was that
not only did these islands grow and in
crease rapidly in circumference, but the
fact of their presence seemed to stimulate,
the ulcer itself, which forthwith took on
a healing action around its margin. Sev
eral more grafts were implanted subse
quently, including morsels from Mr. Pol
lock's arm, from my own, and from the
shoulder of a negro; the last producing
a white scar-tissue like tho rest. In twi;
months tho wound was healed, and the
littlo patient was discharged cured.
Getting Even.
Friend to Artist "I see tho art com
inittee rejected that picture of yours."
Artist " Yes, and it's all because out
of the members was prejudiced uguinsl
me. But I'll pet even, you bet."
Friend "I'll tell you how to get youi
revenge I"
Artist "How?"
Friend "Paint his portrait." Lotii
ille Courier-Jouruul.
Mr. Corrodus. the eminent violinist
i .i...' .. . . . i
lias in i uiui; iuu j,ti.-i.-i nT.oi , iu 11 CO.-l til
$3,400, of tho Stradivari us violin once
owned and used by Pajranini.
RATES OF ADVERTISING.
One Rqnnre, one inch, on insertion... 00
One Square, one inch, nut month 800
( Hie Square, one inch, three months. . . 00
( )ne Square, one inch, one y eat 10 00
'J wo Sqimrew, one year., 16 00
Qnnrtor Column, one year ft) 00
Half Column, one year tC 00
One Column, one year....... 100 00
Ignl notices nt established rates.
Mnrriarre and death notice? gratia.
All hill for yenrly adTertir.emcrjte collected
quarterly. Temporary advertisement mut
be paid in ndvance.
Job work, cah on delivery.
QUESTIONS.
Were I bird to fly unto thee
In the wild weather, tho wind nnd rain.
Beating my wings at thy window pane,
Would thou thy caserr.ent open to met
In thy soft hands where I nestled warm,
I thould forget the cold and the storm,
Sheltered with thee.
Or would thou cold and unheeding be,
Turning to leave me affrighted thore,
Fluttering, throbbing, in mute despair I
Then, thou no pity showing to me,
Fainting I'd fall in tho stormy night,
Death 'neat.h thy casement's mocking light,
Iiriven from Dice.
Were I a leaflet to float to thee,
Drenched with the dews of the morning
sweet,
Lying in sunshine, low at thy feet,
Would thou not, tenderly lifting me,
Keep me to prove to the winter snows,
That the dead summer had her rose,
Cherished by thee ? .
Or would thou, finding no joy in me,
Leave me to perish beside thy way,
A lit'Ie rose-leaf withered and gray
Uta my heart, unremembered to be ;
There in the sunlight moldering to he,
Ci ushed by thy feet as they hurried by,
Forgotten by thee !
HUMOR OF THE DAY.
One of the naturalists gives the com
forting assurance, as he calls it, that a
bee can sting only once. Once is enough.
A muff is defined as "a thing which
holds a girl's hands nnd don't squeeze it."
Correct; nnd any fellow's "a muff" who
will hold a girl's hand without squeezing
it.
Emory Storrs is said to -pf sess 300
neckties. What advantage tc'-i.imifhe
guin a thousand neckties and loses his own
collar-button under the bureau ? Xeie
York Graphic.
A scientist asks: "now was man dis
tributed on the earth?" Well, brother,
judging from a painful experience, we
. would say it was by meaus of an insid
ious banana peel.
Almost any man will forget his ten-dollar
umbrella when he leaves a restaurant ;
but give a woman a parasol worth $1 and
take her into fifty restaurants, nnd she
will not forget it once. Puck.
It fs one of the uncxplainable things
of moral ethics how people decide so
promptly as to how littlo rain and bad
weather it takes to keep them away from
prayer-meeting; and how much is re
quired to keep them away from a good
show.
" No, sir," said the young lawyer who
was paying attention to a fair maiden,
"no, sir, I don't like a circuit court.
There's no fun in being chased around
the house by a cross dog before getting
a chance to dive in the front door."
A'eic York Journal.
"Do you know why you and George
remind me of two shades of one color?"
asked a young lady of a companion who
had been engaged for a good many years.
"No," was the reply. "I'll tell you,
then; it's because you don't match."
Philadelphia Call.
Mrs. Langtry says that Oscar Wilde is
destined to do great deeds in the near
future. This probably means that he in
tends to destroy the manuhcript of the
new play on w hich he has been engaged
for some time, nnd embark in the respect
able and ennobling occupation of saw
ing wood. Xorristown Herald.
A gentleman visiting a school had a
book put into his hand for the purpose of
examining a class. Tho word "inherit
ance" occurring in a verse, the querist
interrogated one of the youngsters as
follows: " What is patrimony?" ''Some
thing left by a father." "What would
you call it if "left by a mother?'' "Matri
mony." A Norristown married man can heavily
discount Yennor as a prognosticator.
When the former starts for home at 1
o'clock in tho morning he always pre
dicts a "storm" within an hour, and
never made a miss but once, and then he
found his wife sound asleep when he
reached home. Next morning she de
clared that she had been drugged.
Jorrintowu Herald.
" What are you doing there?" de
manded a policeman of a man who sat
on a fence howling. "That feller in tho
house shot my dog because ho how led,
nnd I'm carrying out the dog's contract.
I'm going to howl here until I think the
dog's death has been sufficiently avenged.
If he shoots me my son w iil how l out my
contract, and if further harm should be
fall my family my wife will come out and
how l till he can't rest. Oh, but wo aro
howlers !" Arkitnmttc 1'nut ler.
Tho Oldest Woman in the World.
At Auberine-en-Hoyans, a village in
the Dauphine, situated between Valence
and Grenoble, may be seen an old woman
living in a hut in a narrow street who
has reached the extraordinary ago of 123
years. She has no infirmity except
slight deafness, being in full possession of
her mental faculties.
According to her marriage certificate
the completed in January last her 100th
year since marriage. She was a "canti
niere" under the First Empire, and had
two sons killed lit the battle of Friedland
and in Spain. She is supported entirely
on the alms given her by visitors, who go
from great distances to see her as an ob
ject of curiosity, and her neighbors help
her to do her household work.
She lives) almost exclusively on soup
made w ith bread, to w hich is added u
little wine and sometimes a little ln-andy.
Dr. Bonne, who practices in tho neigh
borhood, states that slw is never ill. Her
tkin is like parchment, but he is com
paratively upright, mid is of scrupulously
clean habits. mdn Lancet.
i