l)c times, New Bloomficft, JJn. TIII3 "Blees Patent" NOISELESS, LINK MOTION, LOCK-STITCH Sowing Machine Challenges the World in l'erfcclion of Work, Strength and Ileauty of Stitch, Durability of Con struction anrl Rapidity of Motion. Call and exam ine, and for Agencies and Circulars, apply AT I'KINCirAL OITK'H, 623 Broadway, New York. 4 28y-a NOVFJTY NKWTIIIXtS, forgciillenicirs ,. useonlv- Nent bv return mail on receipt 01 3U cents. Agents wanted everywhere. Address, I,. Ml'MtOH & )., -51 I'- O. !o. 3201, N.Y. City. LADIES f,h? -i''BNiKlstliii most Useful ar 7T , T tide ever Invented for vour use. Circulars tree. Airs. Morgan, V. o. lio.xil:iH,N.y,3m GENTLEMEN TheOmvT fir: til 'I'm lu n Illll'.lltV 4,lt.l ..t .' . Samples I!U cents. A. Gruiit,r'.0.1Io.4:Riu,N. v. ;im 1140 How ? "m, 11 1,1 0 ,m,s- wltii Stencils. hllln,,1,,!' "'ailed A..I.1'im.am,N. Y.ilni A GREAT OFFER. HORACE WATERS, Xo. 4S1 Itrondivay, Xcir York "I7TI,I, dispose of One Hindhkd 1'ianos, Mb T V i.oiko.s and Okoans, of six lirst class ma kers, including Cliickcring & Sons, at e.xthfmki v low pukes fou cash, miuxo this month, di- will take from 85 In ii monthly until paid. 4 17 ly a LONGEST ROOF In the United Slates is on Itlnek's Sons' Kaetorv JCaslon, l"a., one third of a mile long, and Is cov ered with READY ROOFING, CI I HAP, iHiiAlSl.Kaiid easily applied. Semi for circular and samples to the. manufacturers lilCAllY liOOFINO CO., 4 23 lya No. (14 Courtland St. New York. I, O JtIS(jN IKJLLAlt 110X OK IXlTiAT.KDUKKXCII NOT p 1'AI'JiK Madi d to you on receipt of SI. Address 1 mo 4 41a i.OKINO, I'uh islicr, lioston.Mass, SOOO JIEN WANTED! 1 00 1'KIt CUNT, profit on three be 1 ttiWi"" out. fiO.don elub and comliliiation premiums to agents ('atalogueandteiinsf.ee. Address 3nio4 41a- M.I,. llYiiX, SO Cedar St., N. Y. listen to the Mocking Itinl. The Viable Whistle and Animal Imitator can be used by a chdd. it is made to imitate the song of every bird, the neigh of a horse and the brav of an ass, the grunt of a hog. birds, beasts iuid snakes enchanted and eniiuppcd bv it. Is used bv Oau ISryant, Charley White and ail tiie minstrel's and warblers. Vcniriloiiiiisin can be learned in three days by its aid. Sent nnvwhere upon re ceipt oi 11) cents; 3 io-25 cents: 1 for 50 cents- 15 for SI. Add ess T. W. VAMiNTlXK H'lo 4 41a liox 372 Jersey t'H V, X. .1. Xe w A dvei 't i.sew t nl.s. RAVELERS I, IKK AM) ACCIDK.NT I.NSIMCANCH COMI'ANV. of llarll'ord, Conn. Cash Assets. (M.MKUKin. Oiants J, IKK and KMM)WMliNT 1'olicies of all lip proved foinis. Ample, security, low rates. Also insures against AC'CI DKXTS causing death or total disabil ity. Polices written by the year or monUi. Has paid l?00 icr thnj for Sir, i'erovi in benelits to policy-holder's. r Ft A D AY! 40 new atic'es fo.- Agon's Sailip'ca i.ec. ft. JI. SHAW, A1 ,cil, Me. ROYAL HAVANA LOTTERY. Prizes cashed and Information fit n'si'ed bv UKOKGH t'PHAM, l'i( (ience, I!. I..- 50 Cents to $5 per Evening, at Home I We pre prepared to furnish pvolllab'o employ, incut to Ale ii and Women at ilieir homes. One per son In each locality tiiroti:;hnul the United Stales, can engage in tills business at great wages. We send. I ui.i:. full particiiiai sand a valuable wimple, which will do to commence work on. Any kmsoii seeing this notice, who wants lirolilalile.pci nianent work, should send us their address, without dclav. K. t . ALLKN tte CO., Augusta, Maine, r ilflA DAY KO It A 1,1, .-Stencil Tool Samples mailed free. A. J. l''ullam.W0 liroadway, N.Y. AVOID OUArKS. A victim of early Indls' crction, causing nervous debility, premature decay, &c, having tried In vain every advertised remedy, has a simple means of self-ciire, which hu will send free to ids fellow-sullerers. Address J. II. TUT'J'l.lC, 78 Nassau st.. New York. r CHEAP GOODS! Til E subscriber having opened a new Store, one dooriiastof Sweger's llolcl, solicits a share of the public, patronage. Jiu has Just received a full supply of TV o av o o ds, and will constantly keep on hand, a complete as sortment of VRY-(iOOJh QUEESSW'ARE HOOTS it SHOES, GROCERIES HARDWARE, HAW'S: CARS. And Evortlilug else usually kept In Stores. S Call und see my stock. JtOll'T. K. WILMS, New Illoonilleld, l'a. 3 42 (SO A LAWYER'S STORY. TOLD UY HIMSELF. ADOUT THIUTY years ago I was a young lawyer with nothing but my profession and two very strong aspirations. The first was to succeed and make a great name at the bar; the other to be able to marry the lady of my love. One morning I went down to my office which my boy just opened, and found awaiting mo there a letter which gave me the greatest pleasure. It an nounced, in the first place, the death of my grand-uncle.who with my grandfather had cruelly turned my mother out of doors when flic was a girl ; and in the second placo it informed mo that my grand-uncle.touched by remorse, had left mo a legacy of five thousand dollars. The writer of the letter, Martin Drew, who was my uncle requested me to coine to Tyudale at once and get my money, and expressed his affection for mo saying his family were all anxious to sec me, and many other things which excited my suspicions. That afternoon I called at the widow Ourtiss' to inform her daughter Laura of my good fortune, and to ask the dear girl to ' name the day." Laura was quite ready to comply with my wishes ; but her mother said we'd better wait until I got back with the money predicting that 'something would be sure to happen," and asserting that the Drews were " mighty slippery fellows," and that no Van JJurcn my name, that she had ever heard of, ever had any luck. Not finding myself comfortable in the widow's parlor I soon withdrew, and wont slow ly back to my office. The next morning I mounted 1113' horse and with light heart pursued the road that led to Tyudale. I wan two days upon the way, and slept the second night nt a little country tavern, a few miles distant, from the residence of pseudo un cle. J had intended to reach his house that evening but the heaviness of the roads prevented. Tho next morning I was early t stir and rode up to Martin Drew's door, just as he, with his family was seating himself at the breakfast ta ble. I was welcomed with a great show of cordiality by the various members of the family, all of whom, save the eldest son Ceorge, were present. I might have be lieved myself among warm ii iends had not the memory of my mother's Bufferings in that house saved 1110 from an entire reliance upon the professions of these de monstrative relatives. Little by little my reserve melted before their kindly words and manners. The girls were pret ty and fascinating.the young man, .Martin, frank and agreeable. I never could re sist genial manners, and before the morn ing hours had waned I. found myself on decidedly pleasant terms with the young people, and confessing to myself that I could see nothing objectionable in their cluers. I had intended to transact my business with all speed and if possible to avoid breaking bread beneath this roof; and by all tiic.ins to leave it before night-fall. Uut, one pretext after another, and will ingly, I must confess I was detained un til long past mid-day. At last however tho business had been transacted, the money in my hands, and my receipt in those of JMartin Drew, and I began to in sist on going, at least as far that evening as the tavern where I had passed the pro ceding night. llow they gathered around me (lien, with smiling, entreating faces, and cling ing hands. No, they said, one and all I must not go until (jeorge came homo, lie was expected every hour, I must remain until morning and see George, he would bo sadly disappointed else. And besides, it was hardly safe to stop at the roadside tavern with such a sum of money. The people there were prying and curious, aud had without doubt learned before this, that I had come to receive my legacy. Of course I stayed and a pleasant eve ning I had with those merry young peo ple, and cordial old ones. The chamber assigned me was what, in country parlance, is usually called the " spare bed-room." a large, pleasant room upon the ground floor, opening from the best parlor, and, with that apartment, separated from tho rest of the houso, by a wide entrance hall. Martin Drew and his two sons, for George had returned in their excess of hospitality, had enter ed with me, to assure themselves that all was comfortable for mo, and abovo ull, as they said, sufo for my money. There were ill-conditioned people in the neighborhood, they said,and my busi ness was well-known, so that though it was hardly possible that any ono should attempt to enter tho houso to steal my money, it was well to be careful. " There were hooks to hang my coat and waist-coat upon, but I had better not leave the money in their pockets, perhaps it would bo safer under my pillow, or had I not better lock it in a drawer of the bureau ?" Their over anxiety seemed somewhat annoying but it there wero suspicious people in the neighborhood, it was but natural. Still it occurred to me that it would be as well to say ' nothing of the place where I intended to bestow my mon ey. When I was at last left alone, I be gan to hasten my preparations for repose. The two windows of the room were closed and secured by heavy shutters, but as there was no lock upon the door, I placed a chair against it. I then finished disrobing myself, and having decided to put my pocket-book between the mattresses of my bed and beneath my head. I had just placed it there when a light noise in the room caused me to turn. George Drew had entered so noiseless ly that he had nearly reached my side beforo I heard him. " I beg your pardon," he said, laugh, iug at my frightened face. " I only came back to inquire if you would like to be wakened in the morning. You did not hear my knock." He was gone as soon as answered, and again placing a chair against the door and laying something upon it which I thought would fall with a noise if the chair were disturbed, 1 extinguished my light and went to bed. It seemed as if I had but closed my eyes, though I know that I must have slept two or three hours when I was sud denly wakened by s sound of a door soft ly and cautiously shut, yet lightly creak ing on reluctant hinges. I sprung up. In the intense stillness, I thought L dis tinguished a faint tread in the adjoining room. I thrust my hand beneath my head, and discovered that my pocket book was gone. At the same in stant I distinguished another sound the opening of the outer -door. I sprang from my bed and shouted for help. In the darkness I could not at lirst find the door. Uut in less than a minute I stood in the parlor, faintly light ed by the embers of the expiring fire. At that instant the hall door closed, and steps were heard upon the gravel out side. I shouted again and in a moment Martin Drew and his younger son hur ried in. and hnfor; my story was finished were joined by George. The hall door was ajar, as the robbers had left it, but before we had time to put on the neces sary clothing he had two 01 three minutes the start of us. We all plunged out into the pouring rain, and the darkness that was almost palpable.but a search of fifteen minutes was without reward, as we could trace the robber's steps only to the gate which led to the high roiul. We then all returned to tho house, except Geoige, who mounted his horse and rode oil' to (he village to give the alarm. I remained two days longer at Tyu dale aided by my relatives, in my attempts to regain my money, with extreme kind ness aud interest. Unfortunately for them tho very extremity of this kindness aroused, or more properly strengthened suspicions that had commenced at the moment I discovered the absence of , my money. And thus all their endeavors to assist me but provided 1110 with fresh evi dence against themselves, and I left them on the morning of tho third day, as ful ly convinced that tho five thousand dol lars had returned to Martin Drew's hands, as if I had seen thorn there. It was with great- difficulty that I found an opportunity, on the morning after the robbery, to write, and enclose and altcrwards to post, advertisements to the county papers and notices to the banks stopping payment of the bills I had received and secretly marked. On my. way homeward, I went to the county town and left such infor mation with tho magistrates there as put them upon the alert, aud, on tho sec ond evening, entered the village, rodo past the Widow Curtiss's house, and stop ped at my office door. I tarried only to partake of my fru gal supper, bef'nro I bent my steps to the homo of my divinity, otherwise my Laura. Sho, dear girl, gave mo as warm a wel come as if I had returned with my pock ets as full as they were empty. Uut tho widow ! I will not repeat her stunning abuse. I survived it all tho smoko and roar of battle died away and in the list of wounded was but one young man "damaged in feelings," while Laura's smile consoled 1110 in the endurance of my wounds. Two months after I received a very different welcome from the widow, when I came to announce the recovery of my money, and the indictment of Martin Drew and his sons as tho robbers. All was smiles and praise then from tho widow, and Laura cried joyful tears upon my bosom, and named the happy day. Young Martin had attempted to pass when partially intoxicated, ono of tho marked notes, and several others had been found in his possession. Search of the homestead, and tho persons of his father and mother, had brought to light the remainder, and my legacy was once more in my hands. Martin, the elder and his son George, were sent for a long term, to the State Prison. Tho younger Martin went for a shorter period, and as soon as he was released, removed the fam ily to the West. There, probably the father and brother joined them, when at liberty, for from that period they never re-appeared in their old haunts. As for me, I am a tolerably rich and very happy man, a little past "middle life. Laura has been my wife for many a year, and sons and daughters are growing up in good health, and beauty, and goodness around us. My legacy" founded my property, and my wife my happiness. A Hat Story. 4 N old darkey in the Fourth district, Z. ol'New Orleans. has daily for months past, selected the door-step of a promi nent residonce for his noon-day nap. Doing driven off one day he comes the next, With his head thrown back and his mouth wide open, he snores away, to the exceeding discomfort of the inmates. (Jailed to the door by this disagreeable diapason a few days since, the lady of the houso concluded she would try an exper iment. For this purpose sho procured a small piece of ice and dropped it into the huge orifice that served as Sambo's mouth it disappeared like a shot, and with a cough and a snort, Sambo started to his feet. " Ugh !" he cried ; as tho ice sent vio lent thrills through his stomach. "What dis V and his fingers clutched nervously the afflicted parts. Just then some one cried out in the house that a big rat had run down "Uncle Sam's" throat. This added terror to his pain, lie rolled on the banquette and cried lustily for help. " 'Fore God, missus, he's gnawing out'n me. I feel him. Oh, golly! he's kill'n mo," and the whites of the dark ey's eyes protruding like saucers, and the convulsed and anguished face, showed that real pain was stongly enhanced by his imaginary terror. " Oh, "oily, how he do iumn and kick about," and Sambo again gave himself up to a paroxysm of lamentation. "Drink warm water, LTucle Sam. and drown him," suggested tho lady. Without any hesitation Sam start ed for tho water plug. lie turned on the crank aud tho water started. Sam glued his lips to the nozzle until his sides were puffed out like an inflated balloon. " Uow do you feel now, Uncle Sam '!" the lady inquired as. Sam staggered back to his seat. " I guess he's drowned, missus ; but here's what's troubling dis chile how's dat rat gwiue to git out'n dare?" A New Arithmetic. Sick gent (walking into a whisky shop) ' oil. 1 will spend my crackers this morning." dime in Tho bar-keeper hands which he tastes. ' I cannot stand them ; him crackers, give me some brandy for tho crackers." Dar-keepor gives him some brandy; he pours it out, smells of it, shakes his head. ' Don't think I can go that; give me sonic whiskey for the brandy." Dar-keepers hands him out the whisky ; ho turns out a full glass, drinks it down and starts out. Uar-kcepcr " Hold on there! have not paid me for that whiskey.', vou Sick gent ' I gave you brandy the whisky, sir." "Well, you ain't paid mo for brandy, siv." ( f T 1 r .1 t for the 1 gave you crackers tor tne iiram sir." " Well, you ain't paid me for the crackers." Well, sir, you have the crackers yet." Dar-keepersaid no more. fcy A landlady in Middletowu, Conu., advertises that sho will ' open a plaiu boarding house aud lodgings," und adds : " Any one desirous of obtaining such a place with good morals, can apply, etc." tins' 'Hat. -I-! V1.M.-VT.'T TiT.,Tr---,. . i i , 1 , r, ii r,i, i.-j'jiuviiNB resided some XJ years ago in Hartford, Ct , a man of goou standing as a member of tho bar, a bachelor, and said to have considerable property , a fact which did not hurt his popularity. Now, Mr. Perkins had a few peculiari ties ; among thcin he had an enormous head, his hats always having to be made for him. Then, having got ono to fit his immense cranium, ho took the very use less precaution of putting a label in the crown thereof, reading, " Ezckiel Per kins, Counselor and Attorney at Law, Hartford, Conn. His peculiar social failing was, that at all-stag dinner-parties, he got well, there is no use shirking it he got rather in toxicated early in the evening. Ho, however, had the faculty of knowing when he had got as much as he could comfortably carry, aud knowing this, to take his leave. One evening, Mr. Perkins wended his way to one of the best mansions of Hart ford. He was iu full dinner-dress blue coat with gilt buttons, white vest with black continuations, and spotless linen. Lightly he stepped along, his hat a little to one side, swinging his cane, and hum ming an air as he went. He was in high spirits, in view of spending an un usually pleasant evening enjoying the affair in anticipation ; and how often does it exceed the reality! Having arrived, and deposited his hat among a number of others on tho hall table, he in due course sat down to dinner. Now, a joker, knowing his head and the propensity to indulge freely at these nicctings,deterinined to have a bit of fun at his expense. So, during tho time which occurred before dinner was announced, he managed to take the label out of Mr. Perkins' hat and affixed it iu the crown of the smallest hat on the table. lie then retired and awaited events. The dinner was as Mr. Perkins expected a prime affair; so that, with the song, jest, wit, and wine, he found himself at the end of ii capital story by his host, " down to his bearings," as a sailor would say. Uising from his chair, carefully steadying him self by the back, he nodded good-bye to the host, ho could do no more. and, expatiating on the good time ho had had and the excellence of that last joke, he got out of the room with a slight lurch only, and proceeded to get his hat. "Ton me soul he said, as he craned and mooned over tho table looking for his hat 11 'pou me soul, that's the best joke I ever heard." II is utterance was rather thick. " Yes, an' the bes' dinner I. was ever at." Here he gave a lurch, but was steadied by the waiter iu attend ance in the hall. At last, after swaying about for some time, he detected his label and, pouncing upon the hat ho read aloud " Zekeal Perkins, counser uu hiccup turney-a-law, llarifud. Connecticut. That's my hat." Straightening himself, he endeavored to put on tho article in his usual jaunty style. It wouldn't do. lie bent to it, tried both hands, held it to his head, fairly trying to force his head in, sway ing, rocking, staggering tho while; but it wouldn't do. Jfo was hot and stupe fied, lie couldn't understand it. Turn ing to tho waiter, whose gravity had nearly given way at his gyrations, he said with great politeness, " Will you oblige me by readin' what is in that hat'" " Cei'iainly, sir. 'Ezckiel Perkins. Counselor and Attorney-at-law, Hartford, Connecticut. ' I knew it ! T knew it! that's it that's my hat!'' And immediately be gan tho same performance, but with more energy. After some moments of stag gering, pressing, aud pulling, until he was once moro at fever-heat, he again ad dressed the servant with a still more mys tified air than before, but a determination as it wero to know the worst. '' I beg pardon, but will you be pleased to tell who I am V ." Certainly, sir. I know you perfectly well. You arc Mr. Kzekiel Perkins, Counselor and Attorney-at-Luw, here in Hartford." " I I knew it! I knew it! That's right that's 111c, and that's my hat; but my head's most awfully swcHed." fci?- Uisnifiik was asked, " What will tho war cost '(" His reply was ' Only tw; Napoleons. " That is what it tvill cost the French people. It will cost Napo leon himself ono crowu. Sfdf A negro boy was recently run ovor by a carriage driven very fast by two ladies, and was much injured. Moral: Keep out of the way of fast women.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers