2 l)c mc0, Nero Dloomftcltr 3(u Tin: double elopement. A True Story. I MI E littlo willagoof E- was one of the many mining towns in the in terior of California, and in this village dwelt Dr. Hammond and Ins family. They were noted for (heir kind hospitali ty, and for the interest they took in the general affairs of the village. 80 it often happened that their only daughter Artie was the belle of many so cial parties. There it was that she re peatedly met a young man by tho name of Charles Davay, and his fancy for Miss Artie's face, blue eyes, and dark, brown curls kept him constantly by her side. liut what I was going to tell you was this that the doctor had made-up his mind to spend the summer near Lake Tahoe, so that he could have a fine time hunting and fishing dining the heated term, and, as a matter of course, he want ed to take his family with him , fur he could not think of leaving then) down there in the terrible hot heat of summer. Now, Artie did not like this idea at all, so, after having n good cry about it, she came into (he parlor where Mrs. Ham mond sat, and said : 11 Now, Mamma, this is too bad ; ju.-t to think oi' us going away off up into the mountains, where we can't see anything but Iudiami and s.-.ge brush. I shall die, mamma, I know I shall, if you take me away up there." "I? No, my dear," said Mis. Ham mond, gently, "aiid to toil tho (ruth, Artie, I shall be glad to get you oil' up there, where you can't do so much run ning around. I am about sick of this go ing all the time." " Well, I'm not," said Miss Artie, with an independent toss of her pretty head, as she went off to the window. Sho had not stood there ling before she saw sonic one coining up the littlo lane which led to the house. Then she turned to her mother and said : " Oh, mamma. Charley li.ivay is com ing here." "Yes, just as I expected; you can't think of anything but Charley liavay, now," said Mrs. Hammond, as she left the room. She soon heard Artie and Charley talking very low together, so she began to wonder wh.it they were saying, and finally she went to the door to listen. She heard Charley say : " Yes, darling, I will come with the buggy just at dark to-morrow, so wo can go and get married in a short time. Your folks won't think of such a thing until its too late." "But, Charley, suppose papa won't for give us, said Artie. "Oh, there's 110 danger but lie will; and you'll go, won't you, A 1 tie V Only think what a heavy, lonesome life it will be without you, darling." As Artie looked up into a pnir of very loving hazel eves, she smilingly said: " Yes. Charley." " Now, good-n'ght, darling.aod by this time to-morrow night you'll be my own littlo wife." Saying this, Charley kissed her and was gone. Now, as Mrs. Hammond had been lis tening all the time, she heard everything Charley said. So she said to herself, ironically, " your dear littlo wife by this time to-morrow night. Oh, yes, we'll see about that." liut when Artie canifl out, her mother was sitting at the table, sewing. She looked up aud asked : " Well, Artie, has Charley gone away so soon ?" " Yes, mamma," was all she said, ns she left the room. Tho nest day passed off at last, and just at dark a buggy drove up to tho front gate. " Now," thought Mrs. Hammond, " I will show them a trick's that's worth two of theirs." So she put on Artie's hat and cloak, and ran down to the gate. A gentleman very gallantly helped her into the buggy, but never spoke a word. " Well," thought she lie's afraid to speak, for fear Artie's father and mother will hear him. Ahem !" So away they went, and Mrs. Ham mond sat there thinking what, a nice trick she had played on Artie by ruuning off with Charley. Then she began to wonder if this was the way he treated Artie when they went out riding ) and next, what would the doctor say? liut what puzzled her most was tho t they were going in an opposite direction from what she expected. So at last she said : " Well, Charley, hadn't we better go home?" Imagine her surprise to hear the doc tor's voice answer : "What! Maggie, is this you? What in the uamc of all that's good, bad, and indifferent, are you doing hero ?" " Oh. doctor, I thought it was Char- ley." ' Well, I'd liko to know where you were going with Charley at ibis time of night!" " Indeed ! Aud I'd like to know whom you thought you had in here, if not mo!" answered Mrs. Hammond. " Oh, I thought it was Artie!" And what in the world ever put such a notion into your head as to take Artie out at this time of night ';" "Well, the fact of it is. Maggie, as I sat on (he porch last evening, 1 overheard Charley and Artie talking about running oil' to get married; so I thought I'd just save Charley the trouble, and take Artie out for a li'.le. I. began to think she was Tory still." " Dot-tor." said Mrs. lia.atiionu, " (hat i just what 1 heard, and my object in going Willi y. liarley was Hie same as yours in taking Artie oil'." ' We are a couple oi pretty fools to be eloping i:i this way; here we a '0 at home again." Paying ibis.' the doctor helped his wife out of tho bui!'rv, and then went into the house. Oncg convinced thci aiice at tne empty rooms 1 that Artie v;.s "-one. they could easily guess where. So they mm in up their winds to 111; !;o liio host oi it. and wait for the runaways to come home. The nest morning, when Mr. and Mrs. Charley liavay came ho-mo to implore for giveness for running oil' to get married, they could not understand the mischiev ous twinkle in Dr. Hammond's eyes, as he readily forgave them and said: " Certainly, children ; I ran oil' with your mother once and didn't know it." Charley and Artie looked from one to the other, aud asked : "How? When? Where?" - The doci.-r only laughed and shook his head, as though the story was too good to tel', and that was all they could ever get out of him. A Sharp Widow. This came from California : A short time agon widow lady residing iu a vil lage not a thousand miles from here, put her house at a raflle, and ve'y soon dis posed of the tickets, feeling disposed to asssist her. The evening arrived for the raflle to come off and the house was won by a gen tleman who thought himself fortunate in obtaining a homestead so cheap. The next ('ay ho applied fo." p ssession and a title of the property. What was his sur prise when ho was coolly informed that it was unnecessary to give written title to the house that there it was. and to take it; aud the sooner (ho better, as she was anxious to build auothevon ibespotwhero it stood. The winner discovered that he hrd drawn tin e'ephant he had a house but no lot. Enemies nn Advantage. The greatest Iend .0 a journalist is an enemy, although this is not true oi' oilier peonle. Cco 'go A Ified Townscm'., (ho g. eat journalist, writes : " There is no friend 10 a journalist liLe an enemy. Tin meaner the attack, iiic more inev'.iii ble it becomes a lene.1t." Wai. CobbeU once r aid : " Every mean enemy brings me a new thought, two new friends, and live new subscribe -s." Daily ndyvd rut. It -is related of Martin Yen li live 11, that on one occasion, 011 ve aiming home, he found his .wifo :u curs ami 3" -catty eg'taied. Inquiring the c.uee, she show ed b'ni an Albany even'ng papc, in wh;ch ho was grossly villified and ihreat.. coed. " Ah," said the wily statesman, " dou't fret my dorr; I paid forty dol'a to have that put in the y, jcr." Jornwl and Argus. 1 Double and Twisted. A laughable circumstanco once took place upon a trial in Lancashire, where ltcv. Mr. Wood was examined as witness. Upon giving bis name, Ottiwell Wood, tho Judge addressing tho reverend person said, 'Tray, Mr. Wood, how do you spell your nanio V the old gentleman replied : "'0 doublo T, I doublo U, K doublo L, Double U, Double O, D." Upon which the astonished lawyer laid down his pen, saying it was the most ex traordinary name he had ever met iu his life, and after two or three attempts, de clared he was unable to record it. Tho court was convulsed with laughter. Secret of rcck .t-riclu .:g. T MIE Detroit Pout tells a good story as follows : " A short time since as our reporter was vis' ting a town in tho interior, ho made the acquaintance of a well-to-do farmer who after making some inquiries in re gard to the growth and prosperity or De troit, inquired if there were any pick- j pesides thus got nodings to do mit vot I pockets in the city. The reply was of vanls to told you npout. course in tho affirmative. The farmer 1 I'esnre now ven I goes out mit mine laughcd quietly a moment, and then j scif iu de night dime I always carry in "t said I don't often tell my first cxperi- j mine bandaloon bockets a (cad latch loor ence in seeing the -lions of your city, but 1 key, so I can pe able to got mit de inside I am notas sensitive over it nowas I nsed ! of mine poaruing hauso mitout habcu to to be, and I'll tell you about it. Some I vakcu up de whole naborhood. years before my father died, he went to ! I manages to got up on de dhird story New York city on business, and while j floor vhcre mine room ish situvated, l'ust (bore ho bought himself a gold watch. He wore it as long as he lived, and when I he died, a few years ago, it came to me. j Of course I was strongly attached to the j watch, and not a little proud of it, espoc- j laliy wiieii 1 put it iu my pocket upon the occasion of my first visit to Detroit, j 1 haven't any doubt that I looked at it a hundred limes a day. and you will not be at all surprised when I tell you that I had not been in the city two hours before it was missing, chain and all. "I in formed the e'erk of the hold where I was stopping of my loss, and as I did not remember of be'ng jostled by any one, and could give no clue to the lire!', ho said there was no use in c.iU'ng in a 1 oilieer. He advised 1110 to oiler a large reward for the return of the watch, a d add that, no questions would be asked. I then put such an advertisement in the morning papers, and during the after noon received a note informing me that' ll"! would be at the corner of li aud L streets that evening 'at seven o'clock with the reward ($100.) my walehwould be re turned to me. The note a'so .stated that I must co.ae alone, and if during the day I made any at'c.npt to i.iform an officer the writer would not meet me that 1 would be watched all the time, and the only way that I could recover my watch was by doing precisely as I advertised. " At seven o'clock I was at the spot indicated, and after waitinur a few 1110- lii nts, a well-dressed man in passing ine ! asked me the time of day. I replied that 1 it was seven o'clock. At that he asked me to walk with him a short distance, i 11 ud as we walked ho inquired if I had brought the $100. I replied in the nSir niativc, when he handed me my watch, received the money, and was about to leave 1110, when I stopped him, and told him I would give him 10 more to tell me how he managed to pick my pocket. "' Oil !" said he placing his linger on his lip, 'you promised to ask uo questions, but I would show you, if it wasn't for that man standing over there on the corner. He is a detective officer and knows me ;' and the man pointed across the street. " I looked in the direction he had indi cated, but could see 110 one that looked like an ofiicer, though there were plenty standing in that locality. 1 That tall fel low, with tho stove-pipe hat, is the one I mean ; but I must be off. Hood by.' "The man hurried off, and I Baw him disappear round the corner; then-1 again tried to seo tho ' tall fellow with the stove pipe hat, but if he had been there ho had disappeared, and I started for the hotel, happy in again posessing my father's last present to me. At this thought I put my hand on my vest pocket, where i had placed the watch a moment before, and the next instant you could have knocked me down with a straw, for the pocket was empty. Tho thief hud in- I deed coniolicd with my request, and I shown me ' how it was done.' I didn't advertise it again, und I came home with out telling the hotel clerk about that evening's experience." ISf-ijf" Captain Ilynders, who is not un known to political fame in New York city, wis driving a fine horse, worth ten thousand dollar", over the Daterson road, in New Jer-ey, on a Sunday morning so i'e time ago, when the animal stepped through a dilapidated bridge aud was pcrnianeiiily disabled, ltynders sued the company for the value of the horse, but was non-suited on the ground that the -accident occurred on Sunday, on which day a man has no legal right to exercise a horse 'n New Jersey. JferThe capacity of tho stomach in a small horse is about eight quarts, and that of a large horse thirty quarts; the largest of which thero is any record hav ing a capacity of thirty-three quarts. Jfeiy It was a woman who first prompt ed man to eat, but he took to drink ou his own account afterward. A LMitelini.Tii in Trouble. 4 DUTCH correspondent of tho Dliil J adelphia HumU-y Jf'Tcvry thus tells how ho was taken for a burglar: " On dat lasd Montag night I ish out not minesclf a driflc. Veil, I don't dell you vhero it vas dat I ish, pekaus dat's nopody's pizness cxecbt m'ne own, und rate; und den I must f'umple arouiit 111 de dark so I can find out mine room feel ing very danki'ul dat I didn't make 110 noises so ash to vakcu ub do odder beo pies iu de house. I. didn't poddcr much mit hunting arount for de matches pox to maUen a iiglit mit so J can unurcss una got mit mine ped ; for I vas so tired mit miiieseTti.it I diuks if f untertouk to do much hunting around 1 vould vail mit mine pody over de. ghairs or some odder ardcr'c. und niaken apout as 'much noise ash voulol vakcu up der hole blace 1 liCgins mit mine uutressiug iu to ; o da.k no blcasatit hole evening. siioi) alter triiiKcn liocr ue u'l, 1 ... 1 i I manages to got mine i jjreatdeal of droublcs ;utit poois oil mit !c i:e:;t ctiug t vas shust noil)'. iloolv initio coat off, und to u'otitiiiue on by pe" in ning .0 unpiutoii mine suspcnler. ven 1 hears somepody near py dat ped call out, ' Who sh dat, vas ?" I at diu's make me get so awful sheered like auydings, for I oelief dat ish a ghost for shuic. Still 1 vhist'o mit initio mouth so I can make mine courage stick -py me Uen i holler pack mit dat ghost, " Shoo fly, ton't pod der mit me." so he vill leave de room unt understand dat I vasn't afraid apout him. So soon ash I say dat dings, 1 hear a pig scream so loud ash a steam railroat vhistlc; den somepody shumps out of dat ped mit vhite glothes on, und rushes out of dat room like a race horse hollering ilhicves und murder und every dings. Den I lint's on', ven I looksarount dat I makes a pig mistakes, und ish not in mine room. 1 vas sure now dat de hole blace vould pe raised no, und I didn't vaut to pe found in ("tat odder poarder's room ven I ish only apout half uutrcsscd. So I bick up mine coat und pools so fasd ash can, uud manages to got py my own room, vhich is right next tour vhere I makes a inisdakes mit. So I vaites to saw vot de end viU pe. In a small vhile every beeples vot pelongs m't 'at poard iug bans ish hunting all over der blace for de hauspreakcr vot dhey all misdak me for. - hey come mit mine i-oom. und I make pelief dat I shust getavake; dhey dell me me how a dhicf ropper ish drying to steal de hole bans avay, und more aw ful dings, dat if I didn't know shust how der dings ish. I pelief I vould pe skecred most to death. Dciu poardcrs hunt dat hausall ub uud town, but dhey couldu't find dat hauspreakcr dhicf. I'esurc ! know dat. Still I don't dell how mine misdake makes all dat drouple. Und dem beeples peliefs it dar vas a veal dhicf py dor haus up to do bresent moment. Legal Anecdote. ADD true Masons, wc believe, despise unworthy brothers who mako use of his connection with the order for improp er purposes. None wid enjoy the follow ing which wc clip from an exchange, more than our Masonic reade s, who will say, " served him rm-ht " Some young men in the town of , having ' cut up' one night, to the detri ment of certain windows find bell-pulls, were lodged in the calaboose, and in due time next morning confronted before a live magistrate, who lined them $5 each, and gave them admonition. One of the th'-ce foolishly remarked: ".Judge, I was in hopes you remcni he me. I belong to the same lodge with you!" The judge, appavent y surprised, re p'ied, with brotherly sy npathy : "Ah, is it so? Tru'y, this is brother J. 1 did not recognize yoa. Excuse me for my dullness. Yes, wo e brother Masons, and sho' d have thought of that. iM r. Clerk, fine our brother $10. iieing a Mason ho knows the rules of propriety better than other men. Fine him $10. You can pay the clerk, brotlie . J., good morning. Clerk, call the next case." tW Tho.. e !s 0110 fat man less iu Cincin nati. Ho drank two gallons of sweet cidor pocketed the wage , rose, chuckled, u-'cd to make a remark, and fo'l over on t'10 floor. That night ho perished misorably, having cr.''nod tho app'o-at 'on of sui-cider. SUNDAY HEADING. The Dying Soldier. t6T)UT ME DOWN," said a wounded I soldier in the Crimea, to bis com rades who were carrying him, " put 111c down, do not. take the trouble (0 carry me any further, I am dying." They put him down and returned to the field. A few minutes after an afliecr saw the man weltering in his blood, and said to him, "can I do nothing for you?" ' Nothing, thank you." " Shall 1 get you a little water?" said the kind hearted officer. " No thank you ; I am dying." " Is there nothing I can do for you? Shall 1 write to your friends':" " 1 have 110 friends that you can write to. liut there is one thing for which 1 would be much obliged. In my knap sack you will find a testament; will you open it at ihe fourteenth chapter of John, and near the end of the chapter volt will find a. verse that begins with "I'cace." Will you icadit?" The ollicer did so. and read the words " Deace 1 leave with you. my peace I give unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let. it be afraid." ' Thank you sir," said the dying man ' 1 have that peace; 1 am going to that Saviour; Cod is witli. me; I want no more." hese wete his last words, and his suirit ascended to be with Him he loved. Watch Yourself. " When i was a boy," said an old man wc had a s. hoolinaster, who had an odd way of catching idle boys. One day he called out to us "i'oys 1 must have closer attention to your books. The first one of you that sees another boy idle, I want you to in form me, and I will attend to his case." "Ah," thought 1 t myself, " there is Joe Simmons that I don't like I'll watch him. and if I see him look off his book, I'll tell." It was not. long before I saw Joe look off his book, and immediately in formed the master. " Indeed," said he, "how did you know he was idle ?" " I saw him," said !. " You did; "; and were your eyes on your books when you saw him ?" I viviH i-Moc-lit, s. ml never watched for idle boys again. If we are sulilciently watchful over our own conduct, we shall have no time to find fault with the conduct of our neigh bor. 3" There is an island on the coast of Virginia, where the people in times past have not been "righteous over nuich." During the past year a missionary has labored among them with considerable success. Not long ago, as this good man was busy working in shirt sleeves on a new church which was in process of erec tion, a stout sea cap.ain hailed him : " Are you a minister be e?" " Yes, sir." " Well, V'vo got ten dollars for you." " For the church ?" No. fo- you. self. I like your way of doing things here. I've come to this is land for c'ams a good many years, and have always found them a thousand or fifteen hundred short when 1 got heme. It will pay me to have you keep cn preaching doctnncs which. make the peo ple count their clams honestly. JCJiy Never intentionally wound the feelings of anybody. The good opiuiott of the world is the very best kind you can have, and the more the better. The man or woman who says he or she doesn't care a pin what the world thinks or says, gives utterances to what they know is absolutely false. We do care, and it is well we do : and those are gravely mis taken who say they do not. A muddy stream, flowing into one clear and sparkling, lor a time rolls along by itself. A little further down they unite and the whole is impure. So youth, untouched by sin, may for a short time keep its purity in foul company, but a little later and they mingle. 0"" Evil aud idle words may mm as they arc uttered, light and trival things yet if light, they are liko the filaments of the tiiislle-down. each feathery tuft floating on the breeze, bears with it the rerin of some noxious weed. flgy Tho Biblo, so littlo iu bulk, like the five barley loaves and two small fishes what thousands upon thousands in eve r age it has fed I And what jn ultiu i 1 will feed in every land of Christendt 111 till the end of time !
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers