—S %W^LENimE. ( AS virtue of the right bestowed by good St. Valentine *» X take this way of yQT yQT saying that I want to make Presuming you are sensible and flattery despise t shall attempt to win you without telling any lies. Although I may offend you, in the sweet conceit of youth, I mean to try and win you with the plain, unvarnished truth. Tou have no gold or auburn crown of sunshine on your head— You have the normal quantity of hair, and it is red. You do not gaze with orbs of night im mersed in heaven's blue— You simply see with common eyes and squint a little, too. Your form is not a Venus, with a fairy's airy grace— It's rather short and dumpy, and it couldn't win a race. You are not yet an angel to be worshiped as divine— You only are a mortal and to mortal ways incline. Your face is not an artist's dream of beauty wondrous rare — It's plain and has some freckles as you, doubtless, are aware. You are not always gentle and affection ate and kind— You have a woman's temper and you often speak your mind. You are not "helping mother," when that duty you can shirk — You'd rather ride a 'cycle, which is pleas anter than work. Your head is not a storehouse filled with knowledge we adore — Yet, while there's something in it, there is lots of room for more. Not ail the fine accomplishments that charm do you possess— You drum on the piano and you sing—to my distress. And now. because T see your faults and still would make you mine, H've proven that I love you. Will you be my valentine? MORAL: A Love that is Rlind Doesn't last, you will find, Long after the honeymoon's over. But a Love that can see Never dies and will be A union forever in clover. —II. C. Dodge, in Chicago Daily Sun. /rrQ|A| CAN'T stand it!" Wlgl said Maj. Midge "l can't, indeed! j.reakfast irregular, dinner at no particular hour, and everything at. sixes and sevens! I'm not vised to it, and it upsets my digestion. Be sides—there's that nephew of iuine! 1 suppose boys' must exist, but they're a prodigious nuisance. I told my sis ter I'd try six months with her. and I've tried 'em. Now I'll gobacktoold Mrs. Pry's boarding house, and my second-story front room, with the grate fire and the weather strips in every window. My six months are up on the 14th of February, and on the 14th of February I'll go!" The major was a stout, short old gen tleman, with a shining bald head, a bumpy forehead, light blue eyes, which always seemed as if they would touch his spectacle glasses, and a frost-white mustache. He was an inveterate old bachelor, with all the subtle ways and habits of old bachelorhood, and had money to leave—at least so said the tongue of popular rumor —and he had also a furtive suspicion that all the ladies were in league against his sin gle blessedness. "I'll write to Mrs. Pry," said the major; and accordingly he sat down and wrote, succinctly: "My Dear Madam: I am heartily sick of tliis sort of life. Will you take me? If it isn't, convenient don't mind saying so. i prefer the second-story front room. No piano practice, no cold dinners, no neglect about my -shirt buttons—you un derstand my idiosyncrasies, and will doubtless accede to them. Please let me hear from you at once. Yours, very re spectfully, "MILO MIDGEFIELD." "I think that expresses my ideas pretty fairly," said Maj. Midgefield, as he read the letter over, not without complacency. "Yes, yes. pretty fairly. Now. what is that woman Pry's first name? I've got it signed to some of my receipts upstairs, and I do like things to be shipshape and precise." And, leaving his letter neatly fold ed on the table, in a shining, smooth envelope, the major trotted upstairs to find out whether old Mrs. Pry's name was Paulina, Patience or I'arthenia, all three of which names buzzed, like faaniliar bees, in bis brain. "I know it's one of the three,"he said to himself. '"But I suppose it wouldn't do to write 'ein all down and let the old woman take her choice!" No sooner had the major vacated the study than in rushed Master Julius Carey, only son and heir of the ltev. Joseph Carey, and the aforesaid nephew whose boyish peculiarities were so trying to the major. "Where is it?" bawled Master Julius, a promising youth of 14. "Where's my valentine? Mother wouldn't let us come in while Uncle Midgefield was here, and now I'll have to step lively to catch the post. Where is it.l say' 1 do hope Uncle Midgefield hasn't been sending it off to any pretty girl on tht sly." "My dear Julius," remonstrated Mrs Carey, a pretty, faded little woman jrith colorless eyes, hair in crimping papers, a.nd a shabby cashmere wrap per, trimmed with imitation laee. "It's just like him." said Master Julius. "So fox so sly as an old fox. Oh, herV it is! 1 say, mother, can jou lend me a postage stamp?" And, anointing wi". h his tongue the gum my Hap of Maj. Midgefield's brief letter to Mrs. Pry, he addressed it with many flourishes to".Miss Adela Forrester, No. street." "Won't, she be pleased," said Julius. "I picked out the very prettiest little valentine in the store —Cupid hiding under a wreath of roses, and 'I love you,' in golden letters, coming out of his quiver. I chose it because it wm small enough togo into an ordinary envelope, and she'll never suspect un til she opens it." "Julius," said his mother, "what a goose you are. Miss Forrester is old enough to be your mother." "Miss Forrester is just 20," said Julius, "and I'm nearly 15, and 1 ve been dead in love with her these three years!" And he scampered off with his letter, and the goodly, untidy matron heaved a "WHERE IN THE DICKENS IS THAT LETTER!" soft sigh and' went back to the basket of unmended stocking's which was the Nemesis of her life, and Maj. Midge field came down stairs to the once more deserted study, quite uncon scious of the raid which had been made upon it "Parthenia—that was' the name," said Maj. Midgefield--'"what could have induced me to think it was l'a tience or Pauline? Now where the very dickens is that letter? Surelj'. I didn't —oh, here it is, poked away un der the inkstand. That housemaid has been in here dusting, as sure as I live, and it's a mercy she hasn't thrown it into the grate. 'Mrs. Parthenia Pry, No. 10 Green court, Foxsley street'— that's it, and I'll just put my initials in the corner, to insure a. speedy per usal, M. M.. with a flourish to the tail of the last M. I suppose m.v sister will be very plaintive and injured about this decision of mine, but she has only herself and her noisy lout of a boy to thank for it." And Maj. Midgefield himself went out to drop his letter into the nearest post box. St. Valentine's day came, bright, and sunshiny, with hard frozen snow crust ing all the streets, and a silver fringe ovicides on all the eaves and tree boughs, and old Mrs. Pry stared hard at the letter which the morning mail brought her. "It's from Maj. Midgefield. I know it is," said she, fumbling in her dress pocket, for her spectacles. "1 know them little curly-tailed M's of his n as well as I know my catechism. I'll bet a cookey he wants to come back, and a good thing for me, too, with my best room standing empty for three weeks. Eh! What? A gilt Cupid with no clothes onto signify, and a lot of green leaves, and 'I love you!' It ain't pos sible, unless the major has gone crazy!" "A letter from Maj. Midgefield," said Miss Adela Forrester, who was a tall, black-browed beauty, with cherry lips and a good high spirit her own. "And he wants to know if I will take him." "Nonsense!" said Mamma Forrester, who was buttering a Vienna roll with the serenest calm. "Read it for yourself, then, and see," said Miss Forrester, with a toss of her head. "He calls me 'dear madam,' the horrid old bachelor, and dictates as to his room, his dinner and his shirt but tons. My goodness,", with a liftingof the jetty brows, "does he think the girls are ready to drop, like overripe plums, into his mouth?" "Of course, you'll say no," said Mam ma Forrester. "Of course," said Adela. "Then papa must see the major at once," said the elder lady. "Though if he were only a few years younger, the estate is—" "I wouldn't marry that horrid old creature if he were the only man in the w6rld!" cried Adela, with em phasis. as she remembered the young passed midshipman now pacing the deck of the Silvestra in the Caribbean seas, to whom her young affections' were pledged. So it happened that Mr. Forrester and old Mrs. Pry both met in Maj. Midgefield's room at the parsonage of St. Adolphine, 011 the afternoon of that radiant 14th of February. "I am sorry, major," said the former, "that my daughter declines to enter tain your very complimentary pro posal." "What proposal?" suid the major. "I never prox>osed to anyone in my life, CAMERON COUNTY PRESS, THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 14, 1901. and 1t is not likely tftat I shall com mence nowj" "Do you deny your own handwrit ing?" flashed out Mr. Forrester, who was of a choleric disposition, and did not relish his word being doubted. "I deny everything!" shouted the major. "Stop a minute, Forrester; here is tine respectable female who has just called to see me on business. I'll just see. what she wants before we £0 on with this discussion. Now, then, Mrs. Pry." But Mrs. Pry was making amazonian efforts to get a letter out-of her pocket, and turned very red in the face at thus being directly addressed. "I'm sixty-odd, major, if you please," said Mrs. Pry, "and a widow woman, with a small pension, as'never thought of marrying And i never sup posed as you could demean your dig nity by making jokes at my expense!" ".Jokes, woman!" thundered the major. "What on earth do you mean? IK all the world g-one mad?" "I call valentines jokes!" said Mrs. Pry. "And, please, sir. here it is, with your own initials on the outside! Cupids and loves and wings, and not much of anything' else, sir, s'aving your presence!" with a contemptuous sniff. "I never saw the tiling before in ail my life," said Maj. Midge field, eying it through his spectacle gla-sses as olio might survey some noxious insect. "Ain't this in your writng?" demand ed Mrs. Pry. holding up the envelope. "Of course it is," answered the major, "And is not this your writing?" sternly joined in Mr. Forrester, hold ing up the letter. "Certainly it is," admitted the major. "And that letter and that envelope be long together, comprising a note writ ten by me to Mrs. Pry to engage board at her house once more. If you will observe, Mr. Forrester, you will per ceive that the letter and the envelope in your possession are in different handwritings." "Then," gasped the bewildered Mr Forrester, "how on earth came this letter directed to niy daughter?" "All I know," said the major,stoutly, "is that I never sent it." And to the day of their death no body solved the. mystery. The only person who could have done so was Master Julius Carey, who had listened at the door during the whole colloquy, and who took particularly good care that no one should suspect his shar« in the confusion of letters and envel opes! But Mrs. Pry got back her boarder and, to the end of time. MissAdela For* rester always insisted that she had re ceived an offer of marriage from Maj Midgefield.—Amy Randolph, in N. Y, Ledger. the: remorsgluss boy. 112t — id Mr. Wise—"What are you going to do with your penny your teacher gave you. Johnny?" Johnny —"Goin' to buy a, comic val entine an' send it to him."—Baltimore American. To My Hu<kl>nnd. I used to send in days gone by Some verses sweet, a curl of hair, A necktie—that you wouldn't wear. I send you now, oh, husband mine, What best you like for valentine, With frosting kisses heaped up high— A custard pie. —Katharine Brainerd Barber, in Boston Budget. •Just EnoiiKh t« Hart. The meanest part of a co«uic valen tine is that it usually ias a little truth under all the absurd exaggera tion.—Chicago Daily Record. \ 'l'll#. Year After. Last yeai, false girl, I, fool so rash. Upon lace paper gauds spent casivi This year, that folly I regret— A two-cent comic's all you —Chicago Dally KecorU. HE WASN'T WORRYING. ▲ Commercial Traveler Who Didn't Have Any Preference on the Hoad. "Having traveled for so many years," he Baid to the drummer who boasted of having been on the road for 18 years, "1 suppose you have come to think sonic one car in a train is the safest?" " I he idea has never occurred to me," was the reply, says the Chicago Daily News. "Thai's curious*. I thought all men who traveled had a preference for a certain car. I know a Chicago man who always takes the first sleeper, and a Philadelphnan who wants a right-hand seat in the middle car, or else he won't take that train." "I have never heard of such instances be fore." "But you must realize that there is dan ger?" persisted the questioner. "Oh, yes; but I never think of it. I get a seat opposite a staving-looking woman, if possible, do my best to render myself agree able, ,ind leave the accident business to Providence and the train dispatcher. My line rather protects me, anyhow." "And what line of goods are you travel- | ing for, may I ask?" 'Cardboard for Bible covers and pre pared food for infants. I shall wait until I go into groceries or hardware before look ing for the safest car on the train." Proitrc** In Medicine. Medical science grows apace with civiliza tion and among the leading remedies, one that combines all the results of scientific study up to the present time and is put up in convenient and economical form, easy to take, easy to carry, is the famous Cascarets. Five years ago marked the time of the sale of the first box. Last year the sale reached the enortnous total of over six million boxes. In this hustling, every day, busy life of ours people need just this kind of a medicine to stimulate their bowels and keep them reg ular. Cascarets act on the liver just enough to help nature without causing that awful sick, weakening feeling that usually follows the taking of Calomel and violent purges. Readers who have never tested the merits of Cascarets should give them a good trial. A Had 111 under. Mr. Kip (angrily)— That's a nice thing.voi say about my business in your paper thi week. Editor —What? "Head it." Editor (reading): "If you want to hav a (it, wear Kip's shoes —<Jeerusaiem—stoj the press!"— Ohio State Journal. There I* a Clan* of People Who are injured by the use of coffee. lie Cgfttly there has been placed in all the gro r stores a new preparation caliei (V __ 'N-O, made of pure grains, that t:ik> the'pi aee of coffee. The most delicate stom ach receives it without distress, and but fev can tell it from coffee. It does not cost ove i as much. Children may drink it wit) great benefit. 15 cts. and 25 ets. per pack age. Try it. Ask for GRAIN-O. Ills Moat I sofnl Hook. First Passenger—What book hus helped you most in life? Second Passenger—The city directory. "The city directory?" "Yes: I'm a bill collector."—Syracuse Her ald. A Remedy for the Grippe. Physicians recommend KEMP'S BAL SAM for patients afflicted with the grippe, as it is especially adapted for the throat and lungs. Don't wait for the first symptoms, but get a bottle to-day and keep it on hand for use the moment it is needed. If neg lected the grippe brings- on pneumonia. KEMP'S BALSAM prevents this by keep ing the cough loose and the lungs free from inflammation. All druggists, 25c and 50c. A Diatlnctlon, When a man is bilious admits it, and takes pills; but a woman begins to talk about life being a struggle and the wretchedness of her environment. —Atchison Globe. An Innovation. The Louisvi:le & Nashville R. R. together with its connecting lines has inaugurated the Florida Limited, which is a daily, solid traiin, wide vestibuled, steam heated, gas lighted, with dining car service for meal* en route to Thomasville, Ga., Jacksonville and St. Augustiine, Fla. The sleeper leaving Cincinnati at 11:15 a. m. is attached at Nashville, running via Birmingham and Montgomery, Plant System to Jacksonville, an<l ilorida East Coast to St. Augustine, arriving at the latter city at 7:30 the next evening. Mr. C. L. Stone, General Passen ?er A(fent, Louisville & Nashville li. R.. .ouisville, Ky., will answer all inquiries con cerning this train and furnish printed mat ter concerning it. "Poverty's no crime," said Job's comfort er. "Maybe not," replied the poor man, "but it seems to be punishable by hard la-, bor for life."—Philadelphia Record. A Demand front France. When Mr. Herbert Nash was the United States Vice-Consul at Nice in France, he wrote: "Please to send me some of your Lotion for a friend, who finds great relief in its application for weak eves." This if one of many demands for Palmer's Lotion, the wonderful healer, which is always glad ly recommended by the millions who hav< used it and whom it has never failed to cure. Palmer's Lotion Soap possesses all the me dicinal properties of the Lotion and may sometimes be u«ed in its stead. If vour druggist don't have them, send to f'olor Paljper, 374 Pearl Street. New York, foi samples of Palmer's Lotion and Lotion Soap To be a well-balanced man, with ability to resist petty annoyances, i» a greater accom plishment than to be governor of your state. —Atchison Globe. Career nnd Character of Abraham Lincoln. An address bv Joseph Choate, Ambas sador to Great Britain, on the career and character of Abraham Lincoln —his early life—his early struggles with the world— his character as developed in the later years of his life and his administration, which placed his name so high on the world's roll of honor and fame, has been published by the Chicago, Milwaukee & St. Paul Railway and may be had by sending six (13) cents ih postage to F. A. Miller, General Passenger Agent, Chicago, 111. Mr. Gallagher—"Rumors fly, don't they, Missis Flannigan?" Mrs. F.annigan—"lii dade they do; awnly this week wan left me widout payin' his rint." —Ohio State Jour nal. The Grin of Pneumonia maybe warded off with Hale s Honey of llorehound and Tar. Pike's Toothache Drops Cure in one minute. Some young men seem to be surprised that everybody doesn't stop dancing when they enter the ballroom. —Somerville Jour nal. It doesn't pay to be obstinate. NeitheT is it wise to attempt to take all the advice offered. —Washington Post. To Cure a Cold In One Day Take Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets. All druggists refund money if it fails to cure. 25c. Use every man after his desert, and who should 'scape whipping?— Shakespeare. Draacrt for To-Day. You need not worry about it if you have BurnhpLin's Hasty Jeliycon \n the cupboard. Only tjecessary to dissolve in hot water and stand away to cool to secure the most deli cious jelly. Absolutely pure gelatine sugar and fruit flavors. Flavors: Lemon, orange, raspberry, strawberry, wild cherry, peach, also unliavored "calfsfoot" for wine aad coffee jeiljr. Your grocer sells it. It Cur«« Cougha Cold», Croup, Bore Throat. Influ- j enza, Whooping Coujrh, Bronchitis and Asthma. A certain cure for Consumption in first atagea. and a aure relief in advanced atagea. Uaeatonce. You will aee the excellent effect after taking the flrat dose. Bold by dealera everywhere. Price, 25 and SO centa per bottle. fcniMi tan fid Or Willian.s inuian r».« 1 ■ ■n| <>int nient will cure Blind. r- Bsfllß H M S Bleeding and Itchinn B 888 m I*l It absorbs the ■VII Bi tumors, allays the Itch t O fug at once, acts as a 112 A, *f. M poultice,gives instant re ™ Prepared for Pile* ■ and Itchingof the private par's. At druggists or b . mall on receipt of price r»o nonts and WI 00. WILLIAMS >'»(}.. CO. I'rnns. ri.KVFI.AM> OlUo 'Jfl No Rmoko IIOURO. Smoke meat with (9k KRAUSERS' LIQUID EXTRACT OF SMOKE. -fl H Made from hickory wood. Given delicious tlaro IH Cheapor.clnaner than old way. Send for ci cnlar. K. Krausi-r & Bro., 31ilton. PP Skin Tortured Babies In a Warm Bath with And a single anointing with CUTICURA, purest of emollients and greatest of skin cures. This is the purest, sweetest, most speedy, per manent, and economical treatment for torturing, 1 disfiguring, itching, burning, bleeding, scaly, 1 crusted, and pimply skin and scalp humors, rashes, irritations, and chafings, with loss of hair, of infants and children, and is sure to succeed when all other remedies fail. Millions of Mothers Use Cuticura Soap Assisted by CUTICURA OINTMENT, the great skin euro, for preserving, purifying, and beau tifying the skin of Infante and children, for rashes, ltchlngs, and dialings, for cleansing the scalp of crusts, scales, and dandruff, and the stopping of fulling hair, for softening, whiten ing, and healing red, rough, and sore hands, and for all the purposes of the toilet, bath, and nursery. Millions of Women use CUTICURA SOAP In the form of baths for annoying Irrita tions, Inflammations, and excoriations, for too free or offensive perspiration, in the form of washes for ulcerative weaknesses, and for many sanative antiseptic purposes which readily suggest themselves to women, especially mothers. No amount of persuasion can indues those who have once used these great skin purifiers and bcautiflers to use any others, espe cially for preserving and purifying the skin, scalp, and hair of Infants and children. CUTI CURA SOAP combines delicate emollient properties derived from CUTICURA, the great skin cure, with the purest of cleansing ingredients and the most refreshing of flower odors. No other medicated soap Is to bo compared with it for preserving, purifying, and beautifying the skin, scalp, hair, and hands. No other foreign or domestic toilet soap, however expen sive, is to be compared with it for all the purposes of the toilet, bath, and nursery.; Thus it combines In ONE SOAP at ONE PRICE, viz., TWENTY-IIVE CENTS, the BEST skin and com plexion soap and the BEST toilet and baby soap In tlio world. /niipnr9 Complete External and Internal Treatment for Every Kumor, liUtfivllflu Consisting of CUTICURA SOAP (25c.), to cleanse the skin of crusU and scales and soften the thickened cuticle, CUTICURA OINTMENT VIAE APT /ft nr T® l6 -'" Instantly allay Itching, Inflammation, and irritation, and THF \r ! >,l 7h soothe l'«»l, CUTICURA RESOLVENT f50c.),t0 cool and MIL. UL I | cleanse the blood. A SINOI.E SET, costing but $1.25, is often <ufli. clent to cure the most torturing, disfiguring, and humiliating skin, scalp, and blood humors, with IOSB of hair, when all else fails. Sold throughout the world. nDf XOWEfI'S WEI! brm*° ill BHig • ©a YtLLtUDW ■ "" s2/ WILL KEEP YOU DRY GtoTODCfl® HIL§E WOtH TAKt NO SUSTITUTE . fRCt CATALOGUE, SHOWING FULL LINE: or GARMENTS AND HATS. A.J.TOWER Co. BOSTON MASS. S"MTZEKS 5ttDS DITHH j WILL MAKE YOU KIUI!! 1 BROMUS INERMIS ■ I HflßfiC'i OfMlcit Permincpt I I QT C?ntu *** I M ' [jgflTOf* NotAln>l]k« l?on Mrtb IfrTji' jiijT ' to-day that »*e of | Jr Vi I H * n< l w « have scoured H 1 ***« World over to find I I>MU VMUr lta®«iual. Grows where * m a a " o'hers kill and burn I 5 / OP from excest>ive hout ■ / vJcty (r aiu * * a, 'k ° r sufficient I ■ . all others winter kill ■ t • 'r«oze out 3to 7 * ■ yOv^SbStone of magnlOcent hay i *■.M\!iaagl,. A per acre and lota of pa*. ■ ■'a i/ tura <f® besides. 81.20 and up a i Barrel. I J«i I-*rir<'it potato and. I *< !i ' vegetable giowori. . KSu. /Choicest, rurest, heuvi- I JE res. est yielding stock. . 112 -j Celelocue Telle. I J For 10 Gents and this Notict! our bl|j catalogue will be mailed you free, to- H gether with 10 sample packages of the HO bu. H n Kot ltz Wonder, the 40c Spring Wheat, the SHllllon Dollar Grsm with its 12 tons of hay per I acro.ttie Peaoat—a startling food, 1 the Vic torht Knpo Marvel, the I astonishing 850 bushel per acre, /^Mv^ s. ■ Out", etc. In all. 10 pacLagce -if ... \ g fully worth $lO to get a P start for 10c in JDHNA.SALZEmDCPnr'-! ™ «3 MB W M M M M ■ B 'iSUCSaMATISM matlc Compound ta w HEbI I the only positive cure. Paste*' Til JB Hsj H 9 perlence .speaks for it self Depot 1R 9 H Bbi%T" BiS Cla'.iforaia Are.. Chicago. WIEE.V WBITISO TO AUVEBTHERS Itlruie atute that you k»w the Ailv«rtl»i» Bent In thl» puper. For full explanation of the most ATTRACTIVE and PROFIT ABLE PROPOSITION ever offered to AGENTS. Address P. O. Box 1501. New York City. N. Y. I Can Sell Your Farm for msh no matter where located. Send description and Kelltnur price, and learn mv wonderfully sueresstul plan. W. Sfl. Oatrjimler, lilt Filbert St.,l>lilh»,l»i». ni?nPQY m ' :,v DISCOVERYj Blves I I ■ quick relief and cures worst Buses. isook of testimonials and lO duytreatment Jb ree Dr. H. li. (i KEEN'B SUNS, bo* D. Atlanta. Ua* A. N. K.-C 1851 Beet Cuugh Syrup. Tastes Good. Use W in tlnao. Bold by drugglets. 3
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers