October 14, 1992 — LION'S EYE — Page 5 The Freshman Zone: Freshman Of All Ages Share Classes By Mike Jamison Okay, back me up on this boys and girls: When grandparents come over, don’t you hate it when you are fawned over like a 2 year old and must put up with, horror of horrors, the pinching of the cheeks. This ritual seems almost as old as Christianity, and no amount of dollar bills slipped in your hands or 12-packs of tube socks can rectify the horrid event. Anyway, I'm here to talk about school, not Ben Gay ads, and my point is this: Is it not unusual, nay weird, to be sitting next to someone as old as your grandmother or grandfather, copying off their tests and asking if you can borrow a pen from them. Remember, in the Freshman Zone, anything is possible! (Add cheesy sound effects and opening credits.) Let's get this out of the way right up front: I have no qualms about going to school with adults who were alive when Elvis was just learning to grease his hair, but I do, in my warped mind, find unlimited possibilities in the situation. It’s the beginning of the school year and you have just learned that Granny Ethel (for want of a better title) is going to attend school with you, her little boo-boo bear. | Having no means of getting to school herself, you inherit the unenviable job of driving her to and from school. You pick her up promptly at 8:30, going through the ritual of cheek squeezing (see paragraph 1) and “my, how you've grown” quips. Presently, you're on the road, rocking your way down the Blue Route at 75 mph, Pearl Jam’s “Alive” blasting from the stereo when Granny asks, in that shy way of her, if you could go a little slower and turn the music down juuuuuust a bit. Fighting back hysterics with a grin, you keenly oblige, and proceed the rest of the way at a turtle’s pace of 60 mph, and the stereo knocked down to 5 on the volume dial. A quick check of your roster holds more surprises than having three and one half hour break between classes: you and Granny have of the same classes. In English, your first class of the day, you are asked to describe yourself, which everyone does, except Granny, who describes herself and then proceeds to describe to you all those “eligible girls” in the class, telling them how cute you are, and, (spinning a yarn) about how she bathed you when you were 3. With the three and a half hour break upon you, you decide to vent your frustrations with a little game of basketball in the gym. You arrive pumped and ready to play, only to learn that Granny has beat you to it. She’s on the court with other guys, dribbling between their legs with her protective spectacles on. She asks you to join in and make the teams even, then proceeds to jam over you 5 times and 20 points, while you only manage 4. In history, your last class, the teacher starts to talk about the timeline when Granny, still pumped from the B-ball game, relates to the class your family’s history; from Aunt Camille who married Bigfoot to Uncle Alf, who holds the Guiness World Record for the world’s largest toe. "The day ends on a somber note, as you putt down the B-Route at 65, listening to Granny’s own music selection, Perry Como. Now, now, ladies and gentlemen, before Jimmy Stewart calls to complain or George Burns rallies the aged everywhere to chop my head off and stick it on a post, remember, this is all in jest. (At least, for my sake and the sake of grandchildren everywhere, I hope it is!) It must be a challenge to enter a world where youth is the majority. You are made to feel as an outcast, and in those aged among us I see Continued on Page 7 THE FIRST (7765) "PRO-LIFE" (1-900-400-PROL) (The cost of this call is $1.00; under 18 must have parent’s permission) REFERENDUM ON ABORTION OCTOBER 17 THROUGH OCTOBER 21, 1992 "Vote by phone; change politics forever!" National Referendum Suite #10 2628 Millwood Ave. Copy and post in lawful places NATIONAL (7762) "PRO-CHOICE" (1-900-400-PROC) (The cost of this call is $1.00; under 18 must have parent's permission) Columbia SC 29205 (803) 252-2851 USA Needs More 18 to 20 Year Old Voters By Caroline Kalafut With the ratification of the 26th Amendment to the Constitution, voting rights were extended to the 18 year old population. Young adults have always been called upon in defense of their country; therefore, it is appropriate that they be entitled to select their leaders. Unfortunately, this great privilege has never been fully utilized. More than twenty years after the passing of the Amendment, voting statistics for the 18 to 20 year old group have been extremely low. As Andy Sees It: In the last presidential election year, only 44.9% registered to vote, and 33.2% actually voted. The figures from 1990 were even lower. This dismal record should shame every young person. Democracy may be interpreted as the ability to think as an individual and to act as a group. The best example of democracy in action is voting. By selecting representatives to speak for them, each citizen’s voice can be heard. The entire world envies the individual rights entitled to all the people of the United States. In conjunction with these rights are the solemn responsibilities of citizenship. Among these is the duty to vote in each election. A series of public forums has been scheduled on campus to help first time voters understand the issues of the campaign. Take the opportunity to become better “informed and, consequently, better voters. All this effort will be wasted unless every eligible student gets tho his/her polling place on Election Day. Please don’t fail your country. Vote on Tuesday, November 3rd. Republicans’ Ideas Are Falling Flat, So Let’s Give Democrats a Turn By Andy Mcintyre A few nights ago after what had been an extremely arduous day at school, at 6:00 that evening I found myself at home, in front of my much used television set, watching the evening news. The big story of the day was Bill Clinton and his Vietnam draft issue. Talk about beating a dead horse. | Anyway, once again the Republicans were bringing up the fact that Bill Clinton had not served in Vietnam, and apparently King George, oh I'm sorry, President Bush Global Awareness Group Corrects Article To the Editor: In response to the article about recycling, we would like to correct a gross misinterpretation of the facts. Last year, the Global Awareness Group offered to take over the recycling prgram in order to raise money for the club. Ms. Diane Jankowski said that sounded okay and to check with maintenance as how to go about it. Maintenance told the group we could not be involved be involved because of an already existing contract with an outside company. But that was last year. This year, the Global Awareness Group does not have a problem with the recycling program since the campus seems to have the recycling program under control. Global Awareness is focusing its efforts, instead, on cleaning up the neighborhood, specifically, Ridley Creek State Park. Several clean-ups- will be sponsored throughout the semester. If anyone on campus is interested in participating, please see a Global Awareness officer in the Lion's Den. Karen Shull, President Emily Mattox, Vice-President Scott Kirkner, Public Relations Kavitha Sarangan, Treasurer (Reporter's Note: The information gathered in the September recycling article was received during an interview with Ms. Diane Jankowski, Director of Campus Business Affairs.) was stating that this was extremely Un-American. Call me crazy, but how can the President explain Danny boy Quayle’s draft record? Lets face it, I wouldn't exactly expect to see Dan up for the silver star either. Once again the Republicans are proving how their party continually fails to address the issues that are really facing this nation and instead, addresses those issues which mainly fall into the category known as propaganda. So just how does President Bush decide what the real issues are? Well, the anwser to that question is a simple one. The important issues to President Bush are supporting the status quo, while manipulating the blue-collar-middle-class majority and at the same time calling “Democrat” a dirty word, with the Holy Bible in hand. These are the important issues Continued on Page 7 :
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