Now that Rich Clement has been wakened from his terrifying dream and is back on the sport's page, I'd like to tell you of an idea I had while I was watching the Late Show some time ago. The movie was "Godzilla" and the movie showed how this huge beast destroyed Tokyo, and I wondered what would happen if a deranged monster like this attacked Erie? First of all, you know this thing has got to be deranged because NOBODY in his right mind would plan on coming to Erie, and this monster coming to M.O.L. (Mistake On the Lake) is like a person who hasn't eaten in two months' plan ning a vacation in the Sahara Desert. But, to continue with this absurdity, our monster (This'is not an ill'lstration of socialism; mere ly a colloouialism;) attacks this shrinking metropolis from the West (All the cool stuff comes from the western part of'the country 2 and all the East has is snow and the Kennedys.) and stalks through Girard and Fairview (Actually he missed Fairview, and'it's not that hit stride is so large, either) enroute to the apathy of noonday traffic. So the monster is coming in Route 20 atd - turns down Peach (He had origin ally turned down Sassafras, but was stopped by a cop who gave him a ticket for going the wrong way on a one-way street.). Now, it's twelve o'clock on Saturday afternoon, and the traffic is at its worst: two cars on the same street. In one of these cars two people are talking when Godzy gives out with one of these loud yells. He is angry because of the traffic tie-up. The driver says to the monster (although he doesn't know it's the monster because he hasn't brushed the snow off his back window, and he can't see), "Aw, - shaddup! What's the hurry?" The other passen ger concurs, "Yeah, ya let those WO* Repub licans ride on our streets, and all of a sudden they think they're Barry Goldenrod or somebody." So then Gods throws the cars into the lake, breaks the train in half (For his noble effort of clearing traffic, he is ap plauded by those people who always stand and watch whenever something novel hits them.), and continues toward the heart of Erie(Whether or not he gets there is still not solved.). -- Meanwhile the mayor, (who, by some mis. fcrtune took this particular opportunity to take his monthly Floridian vacation) has gotten wind of this and tells the president of City Council sbout a monster-removing formula that was included in the Model Cities Project (which they still haven't gotten), but the Council head reminds our Mayor that the city's budget was depleted when the mayor had to have air conditioning put in his car, and they could not procure this formula. So Godzy spends the next two hours ripping up the city(Actually, this is cheaper than the Redevelopment Authority, and one may wonder about the validity of such a monster.). Finally Godzills meets his Erie (in lieu of Waterloo) when the ONE bright light in City Hall calls the airport, and tells them to rig G! Y! 9~' a female—type Godzilla replica to a helicoptk and to head East on 38th Street. Yep, our monster dies when he trips and falls into one of the many chuck holes by Kanty Prep. So, in case you!..re wondering why the city lets the chuck holes remain, it is, of course, to provide a trap for dumb invading monsters. What's that? The next time I get an idea like that I should keep my mouth shut, huh? February 29 and March 1-Three one act plays: To See an Elephant A One Act Land of Counterpane These plays were written by Mr. Ellis Grove and are student directed. Admission to the Peed Building Lecture Room is free. April 5. Aria da Capo This one act play, written by Edna St. Vincent Millay, will be under the direction of Ni*. Grove. Admission is free for Behrend students as this will be held in conjunction with the Salute to the Erie Civic Ballet. May 23-24-25- Spring Production Tiger at the Gates Written by Jean Giradoux this play will be presented in full cast and costume. Mr. Grove will hold tryouts for this play sometime during the first week of March. Further information will be released later. FOOD FOR THOUGHT Our frustration is greater when we have much and want more than wheb we hate - 'nothing and want some* We are less dissatisfied when we lack many things then when we seem to lack but one thing. .Eric HOffler Political - Science 9999 ANK. bO THEY REALLY X. , ./AHT ME TO RuNi FoFi* PRESt DENT ??? BEI-REND PLAYERS PRES E NT r.l
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