Now that Rich Clement has been wakened from
his terrifying dream and is back on the sport's
page, I'd like to tell you of an idea I had while
I was watching the Late Show some time ago. The
movie was "Godzilla" and the movie showed how
this huge beast destroyed Tokyo, and I wondered
what would happen if a deranged monster like
this attacked Erie?
First of all, you know this thing has got
to be deranged because NOBODY in his right mind
would plan on coming to Erie, and this monster
coming to M.O.L. (Mistake On the Lake) is like
a person who hasn't eaten in two months' plan
ning a vacation in the Sahara Desert. But,
to continue with this absurdity, our monster
(This'is not an ill'lstration of socialism; mere
ly a colloouialism;) attacks this shrinking
metropolis from the West (All the cool stuff
comes from the western part of'the country 2 and
all the East has is snow and the Kennedys.) and
stalks through Girard and Fairview (Actually he
missed Fairview, and'it's not that hit stride
is so large, either) enroute to the apathy of
noonday traffic. So the monster is coming in
Route 20 atd - turns down Peach (He had origin
ally turned down Sassafras, but was stopped
by a cop who gave him a ticket for going the
wrong way on a one-way street.). Now, it's
twelve o'clock on Saturday afternoon, and
the traffic is at its worst: two cars on the
same street. In one of these cars two people
are talking when Godzy gives out with one of
these loud yells. He is angry because of
the traffic tie-up. The driver says to the
monster (although he doesn't know it's the
monster because he hasn't brushed the snow
off his back window, and he can't see), "Aw, -
shaddup! What's the hurry?" The other passen
ger concurs, "Yeah, ya let those WO* Repub
licans ride on our streets, and all of a
sudden they think they're Barry Goldenrod or
somebody." So then Gods throws the cars into
the lake, breaks the train in half (For his
noble effort of clearing traffic, he is ap
plauded by those people who always stand and
watch whenever something novel hits them.),
and continues toward the heart of Erie(Whether
or not he gets there is still not solved.). --
Meanwhile the mayor, (who, by some mis.
fcrtune took this particular opportunity to
take his monthly Floridian vacation) has gotten
wind of this and tells the president of City
Council sbout a monster-removing formula that
was included in the Model Cities Project (which
they still haven't gotten), but the Council
head reminds our Mayor that the city's budget
was depleted when the mayor had to have air
conditioning put in his car, and they could
not procure this formula. So Godzy spends
the next two hours ripping up the city(Actually,
this is cheaper than the Redevelopment Authority,
and one may wonder about the validity of such
a monster.).
Finally Godzills meets his Erie (in lieu
of Waterloo) when the ONE bright light in City
Hall calls the airport, and tells them to rig
G! Y!
9~'
a female—type Godzilla replica to a helicoptk
and to head East on 38th Street. Yep, our
monster dies when he trips and falls into one
of the many chuck holes by Kanty Prep.
So, in case you!..re wondering why the city
lets the chuck holes remain, it is, of course,
to provide a trap for dumb invading monsters.
What's that?
The next time I get an idea like that
I should keep my mouth shut, huh?
February 29 and March 1-Three one act plays:
To See an Elephant
A One Act
Land of Counterpane
These plays were written by Mr. Ellis Grove and
are student directed. Admission to the Peed
Building Lecture Room is free.
April 5.
Aria da Capo
This one act play, written by Edna St. Vincent
Millay, will be under the direction of Ni*.
Grove. Admission is free for Behrend students
as this will be held in conjunction with the
Salute to the Erie Civic Ballet.
May 23-24-25- Spring Production
Tiger at the Gates
Written by Jean Giradoux this play will be
presented in full cast and costume. Mr. Grove
will hold tryouts for this play sometime during
the first week of March. Further information
will be released later.
FOOD FOR THOUGHT
Our frustration is greater when we have
much and want more than wheb we hate - 'nothing and
want some* We are less dissatisfied when we
lack many things then when we seem to lack
but one thing. .Eric HOffler
Political - Science 9999
ANK.
bO THEY REALLY X. , ./AHT ME
TO RuNi FoFi* PRESt DENT ???
BEI-REND
PLAYERS
PRES E NT
r.l