Page 8 The Behrend Beacon theatre Workshop A free acting workshop is open to ail and will be held in the Studio Theatre on April 4th, 11th, and 18th at 7:30 p.m. The workshop will be conducted by Jason Lawergren, a New York trained actor, singer and teacher. On April 4 there will be theatre games and improvisation, on April 11 there will be audi tioning and monologue, and on April 18 there will be auditioning for musical theatre. The workshop is lim ited to 25 participants and anyone interested can visit Tony Elliot's office in the Academic Building to sign up. Through the Looking Glass SO THAT' S WHY I WAS FEELING SICK! A man flew from Angola to Portugal where authorities discovered that he had more than 1,300 uncut diamonds in his intestines. He was taken to a hospital where the gems, wrapped in plastic, were removed. A lawyer defending a Miami city commissioner sex with his client' s wife at the same time he was The woman had come to the lawyer' s apartment cuss jury selection, and one thing led to another, lawyer' s child, and her hubby is in jail. A federal magistrate recommended that the husband' s conviction be nullified because of the hanky-panky issue Crossword ACROSS 1 Opening letters 4 Gambler's risk 7 NYC summer hrs. 10 Balk 13 Scrooge's word 14 Assent asea 15 Exist 16 “Ulalume” author 17 Attester 19 Dishwashers' assistants? 21 Presidential determinants Cosy home Captive Gt Worn away Endeavor French hat Moist, sticky coating Slender prong Slow-witted Meager Sot Underground chambers Any day now Fled Chaney of film Glances 5 Shocking Surround revelation Hold up 6 Blind panic Lead on 7 British peer Set up a setup a Get behind the Computer wheel choices 9 Carreras and Breakfast Pavarotti pastries 10 With less delay Compatriot 11 Member of the Diaghilev and cavalry Rachmaninoff 12 Affirmative Everyone 18 Deed Hair purchase 20 German cake Medical pic. 22 Dumbstruck Summer drink 26 Lions’ lairs Org. of Giants 28 Apron element and Titans 29 Muscle spasm Flowers to wear 31 Little fingers Fool 33 Gossip Small amount spreaders 35 Wight or Skye DOWN 36 Fool Missing 37 Western bone Waiter yard Of poor quality 33 Cheer One of the 40 Erich Simpsons Stroheim 32 34 35 39 61 62 63 64 65 Checkmate, baby! What’s the difference between dating and The only differences are that chess is played on a little board, with little movable characters, and there is little chance that anyone playing chess is going to end up making out when the game is over. So while dating does not offer people tiny fig ures to move around, it can on occasion involve hooking up, which is why people spend more time and energy trying to date than they do work ing on their chess chops. But just as there are three distinct parts of the game a person must master to become a chess champion, there are three parts to landing a date that must come together before a person can find success in attracting partners. The most basic part of the chess game is the opening move. The person who can position his pieces so they have the best chance to strike is going to have success. These people are called openers. The openers of the dating world have no com punction about walking up to an attractive stranger and talking about the color of her eyes or her favorite song. A competent opener is dis arming and friendly without looking like he is trying to sell Amway. Without proper opening moves, guys are left waiting around for women to make the moves on them. Their hope is that by laying low they will es tablish a solid defense to ward off unwanted moves; unfortunately, a good defense is really only good at keeping everybody away. As the game develops, the opening moves transition into the middle game. In chess the middle game is where the master will work to choke off his opponent's chances for escape while tightening the noose for his eventual vic tory. The middle game is crucial in dating. If a guy can strike up a conversation with a woman but does not have the mental wherewithal to find points of mutual interest, he will lose any ad vantage he may have gained with his initial out lay of charm. People who have no opening skills usually rely on a superior middle game to get the atten- the weekly column that asks if there is intelligent life out there by Mike Pingree KRT Campus WORKING VERY CLOSELY ON HIS DEFENSE Solutions 51 Brushed one's cheek 53 Sgt. Bilko 55 NYC arena 43 Nudnik 46 Illegible signature 48 Noxious atmosphere 57 Catcher Berra 49 Prepare leftovers 58 Part ot the eye 50 Lake near Utica 59 Criticize harshly Eric Edwards The Orlando Sentinel * mmiizij Friday, March 29, 2002 If only dating were this easy...even tion of the objects of their affection. This, how ever, takes time. Middle gamers are likely to meet people socially and develop friendships with them, hoping their charm and intellect will turn the friendship into something more serious. Their goal is to get into a relationship without risking the embarrassment of rejection that openers face. But the ultimate move is the closing move. The game endcr. In chess the closing move is the final strike at an opponent's king. The successful closer has trapped his victim in a position from which there is no escape. In dating, as in chess, there is no more impor tant move than the close. All moves leading to the close will be judged on how successfully they enabled the player to finish the game. on a voter fraud charge was having representing him. on behalf of her husband to dis- She is now pregnant with the .A, Recipes for You! Malted Milk Ball Cupcakes 1. Preheat oven to 350 9 F. Place paper baking cup in each of 24 regular-size muffin cups. 2. Stir together dry cake mix, 1 cup malted milk balls and malted milk powder. Add water, oil and eggs. Beat on low speed 2 minutes. Pour into muffin cups. 3. Bake 18 to 23 minutes or until toothpick inserted in center comes out clean. Cool 10 minutes; remove from pan. Cool completely, ** about 1 hour. 4. Frost with Malted Milk Frosting. Sprinke with remaining malted milk balls. Store loosely covered. We want your recipes! Send your submissions to > behrcoUB@aol.com. Don’t cop out and raid your mom’s recipe box. We want recipes from college stu-y Ingredients: 1 package Betty Crocker® SuperMoist® yellow cake mix I cup malted milk halls, coarsely crushed 1/4 cup natural-flavor malted milk powder 1 1/4 cups water 1/3 cup vegetable oil 3 eggs Malted Milk Frosting (belowl 1 2/3 cups malted milk halls, coarsely crushed dents, for college students! '"* IB, *SS) §0~ ; PHOTO BY KRT Campus would even get dates! If a man is a masterful opener, and has used his eonsiderable middle game skills to keep his quarry's attention all evening, but can't get her phone number, or walk her to her ear, or in some way assure himself of another rendezvous with her, then all is for naught. A talented closer may not even need a brilliant opening or a middle game. For him it is all one motion - an artful, deliberate set of moves that guarantees he will capture the king, or the girl, whatever the ease may be. Unfortunately, a big difference between dating and chess is that the best closers have not necessarily earned that rank through hard work, but rather by being bom with incredibly good looks. So the rest of us had better focus on improving all phases of our game. ———— T Y a Karl Benacci, Features Editor DITHERED TWfTS by Sian Waling Have any ideas for the Features Page? Is there something you like or dis like? Let us know! We give a darn about what you think! E-mail us at Behrcolls@aol.com for suggestions or com ments. Horoscopes Horoscopes * Horoscopes To get the advantage, check the day's rating: 10 is the easiest day, 0 the most challenging. To get the advantage, check the day’s rating: 10 is the easiest day, 0 the most challenging. Aries (March 21-April 19) - Today is a 6 - Is it just your imagination, or are more things going wrong than usual? Taurus (April 20-May 20) - Today is a 7 - You may be the one who has to make the tough decision. They'll be glad you did. Gemini (May 21 -June 21) - Today is a 6 - You're at a crossroads in your life. Which way to turn? Whom to follow? Cancer (June 22-July 22) - Today is a 6 - There are a lot of changes going on, that's for sure. If you're trying to please someone else, you may wonder if they’ll ever decide what they want Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) - Today is a 7 - Keep your eye on the pea under the shell Even that may not work. There are so many changes going on, it may be hard to find the bargain or the profit. Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) - Today is a 7 - Others look to you to figure out what to do next. Your ability to keep priorities straight is priceless now. Pay attention! Libra (Sept. 23-Oct 22) - Today is a 7 - As you're cleaning up, patching up and following through, also check on possible changes. There’ll be plenty of them. Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)- Today is a 7 - You can get a lot accomplished, most of it through someone else. Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) - Today is a 6 - Don't believe everything you hear. Give people a chance to take back what they say. Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) - Today is an 8 - Others are facing stress and changes. You can see what needs to be done. Aquarius (Jan. 2()-Feb. 18) - Today is a 6 - The money will flow right through your fingers if you're not careful. Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20) - Today is a 6 - If you and your partner get into a fight, things will go from bad to worse. If you listen and leam from each other, you become the Dynamic Duo.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers