Page 8
The Behrend Beacon
theatre
Workshop
A free acting workshop
is open to ail and will
be held in the Studio
Theatre on April 4th,
11th, and 18th at
7:30 p.m.
The workshop will be
conducted by Jason
Lawergren, a New York
trained actor, singer
and teacher.
On April 4 there will
be theatre games and
improvisation, on April
11 there will be audi
tioning and monologue,
and on April 18 there
will be auditioning for
musical theatre.
The workshop is lim
ited to 25 participants
and anyone interested
can visit Tony Elliot's
office in the Academic
Building to sign up.
Through the Looking Glass
SO THAT' S WHY I WAS FEELING SICK!
A man flew from Angola to Portugal where authorities discovered that he had
more than 1,300 uncut diamonds in his intestines. He was taken to a hospital where
the gems, wrapped in plastic, were removed.
A lawyer defending a Miami city commissioner
sex with his client' s wife at the same time he was
The woman had come to the lawyer' s apartment
cuss jury selection, and one thing led to another,
lawyer' s child, and her hubby is in jail.
A federal magistrate recommended that the husband' s conviction be nullified
because of the hanky-panky issue
Crossword
ACROSS
1 Opening letters
4 Gambler's risk
7 NYC summer
hrs.
10 Balk
13 Scrooge's word
14 Assent asea
15 Exist
16 “Ulalume” author
17 Attester
19 Dishwashers'
assistants?
21 Presidential
determinants
Cosy home
Captive Gt
Worn away
Endeavor
French hat
Moist, sticky
coating
Slender prong
Slow-witted
Meager
Sot
Underground
chambers
Any day now
Fled
Chaney of film
Glances 5 Shocking
Surround revelation
Hold up 6 Blind panic
Lead on 7 British peer
Set up a setup a Get behind the
Computer wheel
choices 9 Carreras and
Breakfast Pavarotti
pastries 10 With less delay
Compatriot 11 Member of the
Diaghilev and cavalry
Rachmaninoff 12 Affirmative
Everyone 18 Deed
Hair purchase 20 German cake
Medical pic. 22 Dumbstruck
Summer drink 26 Lions’ lairs
Org. of Giants 28 Apron element
and Titans 29 Muscle spasm
Flowers to wear 31 Little fingers
Fool 33 Gossip
Small amount spreaders
35 Wight or Skye
DOWN 36 Fool
Missing 37 Western bone
Waiter yard
Of poor quality 33 Cheer
One of the 40 Erich
Simpsons Stroheim
32
34
35
39
61
62
63
64
65
Checkmate, baby!
What’s the difference between dating and
The only differences are that chess is played
on a little board, with little movable characters,
and there is little chance that anyone playing
chess is going to end up making out when the
game is over.
So while dating does not offer people tiny fig
ures to move around, it can on occasion involve
hooking up, which is why people spend more
time and energy trying to date than they do work
ing on their chess chops.
But just as there are three distinct parts of the
game a person must master to become a chess
champion, there are three parts to landing a date
that must come together before a person can find
success in attracting partners.
The most basic part of the chess game is the
opening move. The person who can position his
pieces so they have the best chance to strike is
going to have success.
These people are called openers.
The openers of the dating world have no com
punction about walking up to an attractive
stranger and talking about the color of her eyes
or her favorite song. A competent opener is dis
arming and friendly without looking like he is
trying to sell Amway.
Without proper opening moves, guys are left
waiting around for women to make the moves
on them.
Their hope is that by laying low they will es
tablish a solid defense to ward off unwanted
moves; unfortunately, a good defense is really
only good at keeping everybody away.
As the game develops, the opening moves
transition into the middle game. In chess the
middle game is where the master will work to
choke off his opponent's chances for escape
while tightening the noose for his eventual vic
tory.
The middle game is crucial in dating. If a guy
can strike up a conversation with a woman but
does not have the mental wherewithal to find
points of mutual interest, he will lose any ad
vantage he may have gained with his initial out
lay of charm.
People who have no opening skills usually
rely on a superior middle game to get the atten-
the weekly column that asks if there is intelligent life out there
by Mike Pingree
KRT Campus
WORKING VERY CLOSELY ON HIS DEFENSE
Solutions
51 Brushed one's
cheek
53 Sgt. Bilko
55 NYC arena
43 Nudnik
46 Illegible
signature
48 Noxious
atmosphere 57 Catcher Berra
49 Prepare leftovers 58 Part ot the eye
50 Lake near Utica 59 Criticize harshly
Eric Edwards
The Orlando Sentinel
* mmiizij
Friday, March 29, 2002
If only dating were this easy...even
tion of the objects of their affection. This, how
ever, takes time. Middle gamers are likely to meet
people socially and develop friendships with
them, hoping their charm and intellect will turn
the friendship into something more serious. Their
goal is to get into a relationship without risking
the embarrassment of rejection that openers face.
But the ultimate move is the closing move. The
game endcr.
In chess the closing move is the final strike at
an opponent's king. The successful closer has
trapped his victim in a position from which there
is no escape.
In dating, as in chess, there is no more impor
tant move than the close. All moves leading to
the close will be judged on how successfully they
enabled the player to finish the game.
on a voter fraud charge was having
representing him.
on behalf of her husband to dis-
She is now pregnant with the
.A, Recipes for You!
Malted Milk Ball Cupcakes
1. Preheat oven to 350 9 F. Place paper baking cup in each of 24
regular-size muffin cups.
2. Stir together dry cake mix, 1 cup malted milk balls and malted
milk powder. Add water, oil and eggs. Beat on low speed 2 minutes.
Pour into muffin cups.
3. Bake 18 to 23 minutes or until toothpick inserted in center
comes out clean. Cool 10 minutes; remove from pan. Cool completely,
** about 1 hour.
4. Frost with Malted Milk Frosting. Sprinke with remaining malted
milk balls. Store loosely covered.
We want your recipes!
Send your submissions to >
behrcoUB@aol.com.
Don’t cop out and raid your mom’s recipe
box. We want recipes from college stu-y
Ingredients:
1 package Betty Crocker® SuperMoist® yellow cake mix
I cup malted milk halls, coarsely crushed
1/4 cup natural-flavor malted milk powder
1 1/4 cups water
1/3 cup vegetable oil
3 eggs
Malted Milk Frosting (belowl
1 2/3 cups malted milk halls, coarsely crushed
dents, for college students!
'"* IB, *SS) §0~ ;
PHOTO BY KRT Campus
would even get dates!
If a man is a masterful opener, and has used his
eonsiderable middle game skills to keep his
quarry's attention all evening, but can't get her
phone number, or walk her to her ear, or in some
way assure himself of another rendezvous with
her, then all is for naught.
A talented closer may not even need a brilliant
opening or a middle game. For him it is all one
motion - an artful, deliberate set of moves that
guarantees he will capture the king, or the girl,
whatever the ease may be. Unfortunately, a big
difference between dating and chess is that the
best closers have not necessarily earned that rank
through hard work, but rather by being bom with
incredibly good looks.
So the rest of us had better focus on improving
all phases of our game.
———— T
Y
a
Karl Benacci, Features Editor
DITHERED TWfTS by Sian Waling
Have any ideas for the
Features Page? Is there
something you like or dis
like? Let us know! We give
a darn about what you
think! E-mail
us at Behrcolls@aol.com
for suggestions or com
ments.
Horoscopes
Horoscopes *
Horoscopes
To get the advantage, check the day's rating:
10 is the easiest day, 0 the most challenging.
To get the advantage, check the day’s
rating: 10 is the easiest day, 0 the most
challenging.
Aries (March 21-April 19) - Today is a 6 -
Is it just your imagination, or are more
things going wrong than usual?
Taurus (April 20-May 20) - Today is a 7
- You may be the one who has to make the
tough decision. They'll be glad you did.
Gemini (May 21 -June 21) - Today is a 6
- You're at a crossroads in your life. Which
way to turn? Whom to follow?
Cancer (June 22-July 22) - Today is a 6 -
There are a lot of changes going on, that's
for sure. If you're trying to please someone
else, you may wonder if they’ll ever decide
what they want
Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) - Today is a 7 -
Keep your eye on the pea under the shell
Even that may not work. There are so
many changes going on, it may be hard to
find the bargain or the profit.
Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) - Today is a 7 -
Others look to you to figure out what to do
next. Your ability to keep priorities straight
is priceless now. Pay attention!
Libra (Sept. 23-Oct 22) - Today is a 7 -
As you're cleaning up, patching up and
following through, also check on possible
changes. There’ll be plenty of them.
Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)- Today is a 7
- You can get a lot accomplished, most of
it through someone else.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) - Today is
a 6 - Don't believe everything you hear.
Give people a chance to take back what
they say.
Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) - Today is
an 8 - Others are facing stress and
changes. You can see what needs to be
done.
Aquarius (Jan. 2()-Feb. 18) - Today is a
6 - The money will flow right through
your fingers if you're not careful.
Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20) - Today is a 6
- If you and your partner get into a fight,
things will go from bad to worse. If you
listen and leam from each other, you
become the Dynamic Duo.