2 T1IH TIMES, NEW liLOOM FIELD, PA., DECEMUE1L 3, 1878. A Bachelor's Surprise Party. A CHILL Dwoinher evening, with the ruin ft nil snow forming a ills Agivculila Hort of ('((iiKlomi'nitlon on the Uln-walks, the gn-1atiim lit the corner fllelierlnK snlh'tily through the nilHt,anl the wlntl taking one vlnlously as one turnci the corner. Not u pleasant evening to assume possession of ft new home ; lint nen'sslty known no hiw, and Mr. IliirUtlnle put up his nl(jht-key Into the red hi lek limine In the middle of t he l.loek, slnei'iely hop Inn that his new liiiidlndy would huve oomnion sense enoiiKh to light a lire In the grate, " it Is you, nil f" Mm. I tinman tjuolh LiramliiKly. " There's 11 good lire, anil It's nil light. " "All right, ehV" suld the Imnhelor, feeling the blue tip of liln frosty none, to see whether It had men pert hclng fro.cn oh" entirely. " Well, I'm glad to hear that. Have the trunks come V" "()li.yes,nlr, and the oilier things." "What other things V" demanded Mr. Itarlidale. Mix. Illinium purm'd her llm. " I witHii't to tell, Mr, please." " Jtather nn eeeentrht old lady," Mr. llarkilale thought, pushing past her to the third story front room, whleh he had solemnly engaged the day heft) ret. It. had lieen rather a dark and dingy little ri'om by the light of the moon ; but now, sortened by the ehoral shine of u well -lllled grate, It. wore quite, an other and brighter nspeet. "Velvet paper on the walls, gift pnn lielllngs, red earpet and Sleepy Hollow chair," thought Mr. llurkrtalc, gliinclug around. " Mot so uncomfortable, al'ler all. When I get my things unpacked It will seem quite homelike." He set his valiso down In the corner, deliberately opened it, look out a pair of slippers, and invested his tired feet therein. Next he laid (id- his over coat. " Now for a cigar," thought he. Jitit, the brown-layard weed was yet in Ids hand, when there was a bustle, and n llutter, and a whisper, and a merry noise on the landing outside, mil the door Mew open, as if by miigle, to admit half a dozen blooming, laugh ing girls. Mr. Barkdale dropped ids cigar, und retreated a step or two. " Don't be alarmed," said tho tallest and prettiest of them: "it's only a surprise." "A very agreeable one, I'm sure," uaitl our friend, recovering In some de gree his presence of mind. " There's no mistake, I hope," said a yellow-tressed blonile. Your name 1h not Greenfield V" " No mistake at all, I unsure you," nahl Mr. llarkdale. " Of course it is not Oreenlleld. Hit down, ladies." And he pushed forward the Sleepy Hollow chair, a camp-stool and two rheumatic reception chairs, which were all the accommodation presented by his apartment. Hut, instead of accepting his courtesy, the girls all fluttered out again, gig gling, and in a second, before he could realize this strange condition of aflalrs, they were back again, bearing benches and a table cloth, bouquets, a pyramid of macaronies, piled up plates of sand wiches, of frosted cake, and a mysterl - ous something like Unto an ice-cream freezer. Tho golden-tressed girl clapped her hands. ' " You needn't think we're doing this for you, sir," she said. "Oh"'BftldMr. llarkdale, bashfully. " I I hadn't any such impression." " It's all a surprise designed for Kate's cousin." !' ' ' " Is it ?" said Mr. llarkdale,' more in the dark than ever. " And how do you suppose we found it all out y V demanded the tall girl with the black eyes and scarlet feather in her hat. " I haven't the least idea." ' We found your letter to Kate, and and we girls read it, and we resolved to take you and her both by surprise. She is to be here iu half an hour. Barbara that is Barbara Morris in the blue merino dress," with a turn of her long lashes towards the golden-haired girl " pretends that she has moved here and Kate is to come and spend the evening with Barbara. Won't it be a Joke?" . . , 41 Stupendous I" said our hero, gradu ally beginning to comprehend that he was mistaken for some one else. " What will Kate say when she sees you here?" ejaculated another maid, merrily. "Ah! What, Indeed V" said Mr. Barkdale, wondering in whut words he could best explain matters. ' " Of course we shall all look the other way while you are kissing and hug ging her," said Miss Barbara. "Very considerate of you, I'm sure," observed Mr. Barkdale. ''She's the sweetest girl in New York," exclaimed the tall damsel, en thusiastically. " I am one of her dear est friends. We work our sewing ma chines side by side at Madam Urlllard's. Hasn't she ever written to you about Alice Moore y" " I don't Just this moment recall that she has." "Oh, well, It doesn't matter," said Alice. "Just you sit down and be a good boy while we fix the tables. Are not thoso roses beautiful y My good ness gracious how astonished Kate will be t" " She can't lie more so than I am," said Mr. Barkdale, sinking Into the Sleepy Hollow chair, and passing his handkerchief vaguely across his fore head. "Well, It's a mere mailer of fate; I can't see how I inn to explain myself, and yet perhaps I ought to ex plain. Ladles" " HuHh-sh-sh-sh," cried Ihe six pretty girls, all In a hissing chorus : " Kale Is coming; Bessie has brought her. IIiihIi- sh 1 l)on't say a word, Mr. (Ireeii- Held." The golden-haired girl's hand was clapped promptly over his mouth. Alley Moore grits u'd his arm spasmodically, and (he other forms danced a sort of be. witching little feminine war dance about him, while a seventh girl entered a prclty Miidouua-faced little creature like a dove. " I'ome and kins him Kate," cried all the others. "Now, don't bo rldlculoiiH, for we shan't lake any notice. Here he Is." "Kiss who y cried Kate, standing still and staring around her. " Ulrls, whaton earth do you mean V" "You provoking thing I" said Bar bara, stamping her little foot. " lloyou suppose we are nil fools y Why, of course we know all iibout them I It's Mr. (Ireenllcld your cousin. Kate the young M. I)." Kato looked around In bewilder ment. " Where y" " Why here I" " Nothing of the sort I" said Kale, de murely. Our hero stood up, feeling himself growing very uncomfortably warm and red. " Ladles 1" said lie, "there's some mlxtiike here. I said at the outset that my name was not Oreenlleld." " There !" cried the girls, all at once. " There !" echoed Kate, defiantly. "Didn't wo tell you?" cried the girls. " Didn't 1 tell you V" retorted Kate. "Bo kind enough to let us know what your name Is, sir." " Cephas Barkdale," said the wretch ed victim of a misunderstanding. " But," said Miss Moore, "you said it was Noit Oreenlleld." "Of course I did I" said the puzzled bachelor. "Jt Isn't Oreenlleld, and It never will be unless I have it changed by act of Legislature." "Oh-li!" cried the girls. "Dear, dear, to be sure 1 And we thought you were Kate's lover and his name is N-o double t Nott Grecnlleld." " Do hold your tongues, you rldleu lous things," said Kate, half vexed, half laughing. " What must Mr. Barkdale think of UBy" " I think you are very nice," he said, gallantly. , , "Miss Barbara in the meantime had taken a Blip of paper out of her pocket She uttered a hysterical shriek. "It's all my fault!" she exclaimed. " It was No. 39 instead of No. 30 and the tall of the horrid figure turned the wrong end up that' all. And the cake and the flowers and everything!" " Stop, ladles, If you please," said Mr. Barkdale, courteously. " Because the surprise has come to the wrong place is no reason why the right person should not enjoy it. Allow me to give up this room to your use this evening. I will just step across the street and send Mr. Nott Greenfield over." "But you must return with him," said the girls." And Mr. Barkdale was not allowed to depart until he hud promised. Mr. Nott Greenfield a good-looking medical studentwho had the " sky parlor" directly opposite came prompt ly on mention of the name of Kate Kelford, and did the polite thing in introducing Mr. Barkdale; and Mr, Barkdale ate of tho sandwiches, and enjoyed the cake and cream, and coaxed Miss Barbara to pin a little pink rose bud iu the buttonhole of his coat, and enjoyed himself prodlgously. "I'd like to be surprised likejthia every night in the year," said he. " Oh, you greedy creature!" said Miss Barbara. " But there was one time I seriously meditated throwing myself out of the window," said he, "when you told me I was to kiss Miss Kate.,' , . . , t ; , , . " Dear, dear," said Barbara, ironical ly ; " that would have been dreadful, wouldn't It y" ,.t ,. " But the awkwardness of the thing. V " I dare say you never kissed a pretty girl!" pouted tho blonde. " I never did," said the bachelor, growing bold, " but I will now, If you say so." " But I don't any to," said Barbara, coloring and laughing. "Behave your self, sir." Mr. Barkdale went home with the fair Barbara, and they grew to ho very great frlciid,aiid,whoro'a the use of try ing to conceal how It all ended y They were married at the year's end, with all the surprlsers as bridesmaids, and Kato Kellford Included. Mr. Nott Greenfield proposes to follow the example us soon as ho gels well, A L0VEJ1 L03T BY TEMPCfl. Mil. WALTKH LAN DOll stood on the steps of an elegant mansion In a suburban village, his hand Jut touch ing Hie bell-knob, when, suddenly, tho sounds of altercation floated through the open window, from the parlor. " Jane Kvans," cried a shrill, angry voice, that at first he did not recognize, did you break my vase, you good-for- nothing Imp y I'll tell mammal And there take that." The sound of a blow followed, nc.eotn- paulert by moro angry tones, the words of which were Inaudible to the tin wil ling listener outside. Walter Landor turned from the door, walked swiftly down the steps, and gained the street, almost (lazed. " Could It be possible," heslild to him self, "that this harsh, angry voice be longed to the lovely Isabel Lclgh ton y She, whom ho had thought the perfection of womanhood Y Was it possible that these coarse words issued from the same beautiful Hps, which had sung for him almost every evening of late Much notes of tender sweetness Y Was It possible that she who had seemed so amiable and lovely, could have struck a defenceless servant y" Yes! It was possible. There could be no mistake. Alas! his idol hurt fallen. It had been shivered to atoms In a moment. He saw It had been nothing but a common clay image after nil. A few hours later, Miss Lelghton sat Iu her room reading a note from Mr. Landor. "Mr. Landor," It ran, "re. grets Ids inability to keep ids appoint ment to ride with Miss Lelghton this afternoon, and begs she will excuse him, as lie is unexpectedly called from town." MIhb Lelghton crushed the paper In her small jeweled hand, and threw it angrily upon the carpet. What could it mean y Some subtile presentiment told her that there was more In it than met the eye. She little suspected tho whole truth, how ever. " Ho has taken oirence at something," she said, after she had calmed down. " l'erhaps he thinks I flirt too much with Harry Fairfax." Then her eye lit up with a gleam of triumph. "Pshaw! It la only a little fit of Jealousy. When he returns, I can soon have him back." She looked at herself in the mirror, as she spoke, and the fair face reflected her spirits. " Have you seen Walter Landon since his return y" asked one of her acquaint ances, a fort-night later. And Miss Lelghton thought there was malice In the tone. " lie la constantly at your house, isn't he y" "No! Yea!" answered Miss Lelgh ton, violating the truth, rather than ad mit her defeat ; for this waa the first she had heard of his coming back. " He waa at a small party at Mrs. Beacon's last night and very attentive to her nelce, Mlsa Thomly, who la from the country. Her father was a farmer, I believe; hut she is very pretty." Every word of this was a atab to Miss Lelghton. Three weeka ago. no party, no pretty girl, much less "a school teacher," as she scornfully called Mlsa Thoruley, could have kept Walter Lan don from her bide. When her mallcloua guest had left, Mlsa Lelghton went to the window, and watched her walking down the street. " Nasty thing," she soliloquized, " she came here just to tell me that." Suddenly, as she stood there, a thought flashed on her, like a revela tion. She remembered the morning she had struck Jano Evans, and that it was about the hour that Walter Landon often called. She summoned Jane, an grily, who came In, looking sulky. " Do you remember the morning, you clumsy fool," uhe said, " that you broke that vase V Was Mr. Walter Landon here'r1" v "Yes, mam," answered Jane, glad at last, to have her revenge. " Leastwise, when you hit me, and I ran from you, I saw, through the window, Mr. Landor on the doorsteps; but he didn't ring : he turned and walked off promiscuous like." She grinned in triumph. "And he hasn't been here since." " You leave this day, you impudent thing," broko out Miss Lelghton. "How dare you stand there, and grin nt mo y " Mease, Miss, I'm not ft thing," re piled Jane, with a mock courtesy. And knowing she would go for good this time, she dared everything iu her retort. "But when young ladles lose their young men, I 'nposo they are mad enough to call other girls any names that comes first." Dodging a book that Miss Lelghton, now roused to fury, Hung at her, Jane fled through the door, and went straight up to the tittle, to puck her things. Miss Lelghton remained liitherpoin blind wllh rage. She understood every thing, now. All wns lost. And it was hard, very hard ; for Walter Landon was not only elegant and fastidious, but the heir of nearly half n million: and, he was the only one of all the train of admirers for whom the proud beauty had ever really cared. Six mouths later Walter Landon wedded Lucy Thornley, whose sweet loveliness and charming manners were admired by every one, save Miss Lelghton. She wondered what people could see Iu that " country girl to admire. The chit hadn't a bit of style. Moreover,sho had taught school for allvlng. A lady V not she! to think that the bride of Walter Landon should bo only a poor school teacher !" ' A Whistling Corpse. There are some tilings about corpses, however, that need to be explained, and of ono of these phenomena is the dead man's whistle; for there are departed gentlemen that can whistle. A correspondent of the Syracuse "Courier" relates an experience of his which bears upon this point. He and ids friend Nick were sitting up to watch over the body of an old gentleman. Nick lay down on a sofa for tho first nap, and ills companion paced up and down the spacious library where the body was lulil out, occasionally stopping to change tho Ice cloths on tho face. All was silent as the tomb, save the trickling water as it dropped from tho thawing ice. Suddenly the corpse began to whistle, and every hair on the watcher's head bristled in horror. "Nick, come for God's sake! The old man Is getting up !" With these exclamations on his Hps, the startled watcher slummed the door behind him and rati home as fust as his legs could carry him, leaving Nick to face the music, as it were. But the scientific explanation Is very simple. Gas hud formed In tho dead man's stem auh, and the Jarring, caused by the fall of pieces of ice from the forehead into pulls beneath, had allowed it to escape through tho toothless and wrinkled mouth. So the derd mun whistled like a school-boy. - tta Long Words. " Bob," said Tom," which ia the most dangerous word in all the English lan guuge to pronounce V" "Don't know," aaid Bob, " unless it la a swearing word." " Pooh," said Tom, " it is stumbled ; because you are sure to get a tumble be tween the first and last letter." "Ha, hoi" said Bob, " now I've one for you. I found it one day in reading the paper. Which is the longest word in all the English language V" " Valetudinarianism," Bald Thomas promptly. ' ' " No, sir, " it'a smile, because there'a a whole mile between the first and last letter.,' " No, ho !" cried Tom, " that'a noth lng, I know a word that has over three miles between its beginning and end ing." "Now, what i thaty" aaid Bob faintly. Beleagured,', exclaimed Tom, trl umpantly. frST Becently a wealthy and eccentrio citizen called upon the undertaker, to pay a bill for the burying of a member of his family. The account waa handed to the gentleman, who taking it, stood for some momenta in a contemplative mood, eyeing it closely and murmuring an oc casional " hum," " hum." " Anything wrong in the billy" In quired the undertaker. "No," replied the honest old chap, " but I wua wondering how poor people dare die uow-a-days." Benefactors. ' When a board of eminent physicians and chemists announced the discovery that by combining some well known valuable remedies, the most wonderful medicine waa produced, which would cure a wide range of diseases that most all other remedies could be dispensed with, many were sceptical ; but proof of its merits by actual ..trial haa dispelled doubt, and to-day the discovers of that great inedlcIne,liop Bitters, are honored and blessed by all as benefactors. 511 2t Dll. WHITTIEII, No. DOS Ponn Street, Pittsburgh, Pa., (Imtllnues In afford reliable special tieatmenl of Private, mni Urinary iimih.s. I'm fret Mir guaranteed. RpnriiiBtori line or fiemiiml Wmk. nn rcsiilMiiR from self nlnne or mini mnnt, prodimlng nervous dehllily, ulglit euilMiliins. lilt spntiilnnny, ill..lliiss, dimness nl sight, pimples nl Ihn iRim, weakness of in I nil mill hnily, nml llimlly Imimleney, Imsol nexunl power, sterility, etn.. Willi ling the VKiilm tor marriage or bus liens hii I isiiilHilim life itilsnriililn, are permanently cured In shortest poillln lime liiinorroeas. (limit, Hlrlnttires, nil Urinary diseases mill Hyphl. lit. (till form", ennsls lug of skill Eruptions, t. tiers in Ids month, thrust, or on other hurts of His linily, art perfently mi ml, mill Hid IiIuuiI polsna tlioroiiKllly sraillnntHil from Ihn svhiimii. hit. Will III Kit Is it rKHlnr xriiihinlo l inrdlelno, m Ills illpliiiiiH At oniim snows i tils Ufa Inn Hpnnlnl expci ImiiB In nil prlvntn illxenies, with pnriint in (Peine prrpiired hy hlitmilf, enlii linn to ciirnillllliMill, imm nftor nlhnrs full it isswrsvl ilmil, tlmt, n pliyilnlun trnnlniK thiiir'niili nl naw nviiry yttsr mniiilrm kh'iiI, skill. Thn Ih!IIhIi. nieiil Is nnntriil anil rnllrfd, nml so nrrnmri'il tlmt, pHticiils m thn iloi'lor only. (,'oihiiIihHoii nml eorrnspunili'iii'S prlvatn ntirt frpe. I'nnipliln'ssHiit Si'iih'il fur hliinip, Meillclnt'S sent, rvmyo lm r. Hours (I A. M to 1 V, M., nml S I. M.. In HI'. M. Hiinilnvs frnin III A. M., to 1 I'. M. KveryuoUy nlimi lil refill I tin MAItltlAUi: AM) HEALTH UU1DE, lit inns, linn Illustrations, prkm 2u cents. A lionk fur prlv lie. ciiipf il r nillnii liy Imth si-xns, Inttrrli'il or slnuln. ftKiiPtlnlnir wnnop m mill oivh. tiirli's of snximT syilmnf rnpnuiiiMtiiin, iniirrlHK Iuiii'i1iunnts. iitn.. ciuiii. eiiiiwiiui-iinfl soil (inn. Hniil st otliim or liy nmll, mini, securely neiiUMl, on reciiipi oi irii'd in imilipv or nostinin niiins. All. (lints lilt. WllliriKH. tiu. Aui J (Mill ht.. Hits. 1)111 nil, I'll. w 4H ly J. M. (IIHVIN. J. It. OlHVIN. J. M. GIRVIN & SON., FLOUR, GRAIN. SEED At PRODUCE Commission Morclinnl, No. (i t Mouth (.a;, St., BALTIMORE, MD. Utt ,M1 t.nt, ...I,,, ln,,tl,.H 4 - II " "in fin j nu ii i ninrniuii i ir t nn Ulim IFI nil Kind of Country J'nxtiice and remit thf Hinuntn 'lMIIrbij, ! lyr. - J. M. OIKVIN A BON. E. WAIIIIINII'S (IS7H Uniform (!tipyrlilitfil 177) Thn Latest and IW. A (Irnnt linproviiment want sunplloil, Wo fiirnl.ili low and whatever you need. Law and Commercial Supplies of nil Kinds. - Henil for samples and price fists of wlist you want, -Calnlcnes of Wanks furnished at TIII9 OKFICK, or direct from the iilillhi-r. i';. wAitiiso, Tyrone, ra. N :w wacjox shop. TIIK undersigned IiuvIiir opened a WHEELWRIGHT SHOP, NEW JJLOOMFIELD, are now prepared todo any kind of work In their line In any style, at prices which cannot fall t give satlHiactloii. ( ni rianen of nil stylos buill and all work will be warranted. BTOUKFKB & CKIBT. NewMlimnilt d, April 23, 187-1. jyjUSSER & ALLEN CENTRAL STORE NEWPORT, TENN'A. Sow Oder the publls A KA11K AND KLKOANT ASSORTMENT OF DRESS GOODS Consisting sf all shades suitable for the season. BLA CK ALFA CCAS AND ' V Mourning Goods, A SPECIALITY. " BLEACHED AND UNBLEACHED Musiiiisrs, AT VAKIOU8 PRICES. V ' 1 AN ENDLESS SELECTION OF PRINTS! We sell and do keep a good quality of SUGARS, COFFEES & SYRUPS, And ererytliing under the head of GROCERIES I Machine needles and oil for. all make of Machines. , To be convinced that our goods are , CHEAP AS THE CHEAPEST, 13 TO CALL AND EXAMINE STOCK. No trouble to show goods. 1 i . . ' ' . . r Don't forget the CENTRAL STORE, Newport, Perry Comity, Pa. WHEN FEVER AND AOTJE, MALARIA, AND ALL FEVERS CAN RE i CURED ,; , iron no CENTH, It Is criminal to suffer. An absolute means of cure Is fauu4 iu . . . INFALLIABLE AGUE PILLS. THIS specllle cures not only Chills and Fe vers, but every form of Malarial taint from Aching bones to the Hhakes There ia no mistake about It. It you get the riijht article. , Kemember the name SilOLL'H AGUE PILLS. Reraber the price K1FTY CENTS. If your druggifti haa none. I will send them by mall on receipt of 5" cents, or I will send a box free to any prrson not able t i pav lor them. - Address JOSEPH SHOLL, Burlington, New Jersey. ...,,.. .QU t
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