2
T1IH TIMES, NEW liLOOM FIELD, PA., DECEMUE1L 3, 1878.
A Bachelor's Surprise Party.
A CHILL Dwoinher evening, with
the ruin ft nil snow forming a ills
Agivculila Hort of ('((iiKlomi'nitlon on the
Uln-walks, the gn-1atiim lit the corner
fllelierlnK snlh'tily through the nilHt,anl
the wlntl taking one vlnlously as one
turnci the corner.
Not u pleasant evening to assume
possession of ft new home ; lint nen'sslty
known no hiw, and Mr. IliirUtlnle put up
his nl(jht-key Into the red hi lek limine In
the middle of t he l.loek, slnei'iely hop
Inn that his new liiiidlndy would huve
oomnion sense enoiiKh to light a lire In
the grate,
" it Is you, nil f" Mm. I tinman tjuolh
LiramliiKly. " There's 11 good lire, anil
It's nil light. "
"All right, ehV" suld the Imnhelor,
feeling the blue tip of liln frosty none, to
see whether It had men pert hclng fro.cn
oh" entirely. " Well, I'm glad to hear
that. Have the trunks come V"
"()li.yes,nlr, and the oilier things."
"What other things V" demanded
Mr. Itarlidale.
Mix. Illinium purm'd her llm.
" I witHii't to tell, Mr, please."
" Jtather nn eeeentrht old lady," Mr.
llarkilale thought, pushing past her to
the third story front room, whleh he
had solemnly engaged the day heft) ret.
It. had lieen rather a dark and dingy
little ri'om by the light of the moon ;
but now, sortened by the ehoral shine
of u well -lllled grate, It. wore quite, an
other and brighter nspeet.
"Velvet paper on the walls, gift pnn
lielllngs, red earpet and Sleepy Hollow
chair," thought Mr. llurkrtalc, gliinclug
around. " Mot so uncomfortable, al'ler
all. When I get my things unpacked It
will seem quite homelike."
He set his valiso down In the corner,
deliberately opened it, look out a pair
of slippers, and invested his tired feet
therein. Next he laid (id- his over
coat. " Now for a cigar," thought he.
Jitit, the brown-layard weed was yet
in Ids hand, when there was a bustle,
and n llutter, and a whisper, and a
merry noise on the landing outside,
mil the door Mew open, as if by miigle,
to admit half a dozen blooming, laugh
ing girls.
Mr. Barkdale dropped ids cigar, und
retreated a step or two.
" Don't be alarmed," said tho tallest
and prettiest of them: "it's only a
surprise."
"A very agreeable one, I'm sure,"
uaitl our friend, recovering In some de
gree his presence of mind.
" There's no mistake, I hope," said a
yellow-tressed blonile. Your name 1h
not Greenfield V"
" No mistake at all, I unsure you,"
nahl Mr. llarkdale. " Of course it is
not Oreenlleld. Hit down, ladies."
And he pushed forward the Sleepy
Hollow chair, a camp-stool and two
rheumatic reception chairs, which were
all the accommodation presented by his
apartment.
Hut, instead of accepting his courtesy,
the girls all fluttered out again, gig
gling, and in a second, before he could
realize this strange condition of aflalrs,
they were back again, bearing benches
and a table cloth, bouquets, a pyramid
of macaronies, piled up plates of sand
wiches, of frosted cake, and a mysterl
- ous something like Unto an ice-cream
freezer.
Tho golden-tressed girl clapped her
hands. '
" You needn't think we're doing this
for you, sir," she said.
"Oh"'BftldMr. llarkdale, bashfully.
" I I hadn't any such impression."
" It's all a surprise designed for
Kate's cousin." !' ' '
" Is it ?" said Mr. llarkdale,' more in
the dark than ever.
" And how do you suppose we found
it all out y V demanded the tall girl with
the black eyes and scarlet feather in her
hat.
" I haven't the least idea."
' We found your letter to Kate, and
and we girls read it, and we resolved to
take you and her both by surprise. She
is to be here iu half an hour. Barbara
that is Barbara Morris in the blue
merino dress," with a turn of her long
lashes towards the golden-haired girl
" pretends that she has moved here
and Kate is to come and spend the
evening with Barbara. Won't it be a
Joke?" . . ,
41 Stupendous I" said our hero, gradu
ally beginning to comprehend that he
was mistaken for some one else.
" What will Kate say when she sees
you here?" ejaculated another maid,
merrily.
"Ah! What, Indeed V" said Mr.
Barkdale, wondering in whut words he
could best explain matters.
' " Of course we shall all look the other
way while you are kissing and hug
ging her," said Miss Barbara.
"Very considerate of you, I'm sure,"
observed Mr. Barkdale.
''She's the sweetest girl in New
York," exclaimed the tall damsel, en
thusiastically. " I am one of her dear
est friends. We work our sewing ma
chines side by side at Madam Urlllard's.
Hasn't she ever written to you about
Alice Moore y"
" I don't Just this moment recall that
she has."
"Oh, well, It doesn't matter," said
Alice. "Just you sit down and be a
good boy while we fix the tables. Are
not thoso roses beautiful y My good
ness gracious how astonished Kate
will be t"
" She can't lie more so than I am,"
said Mr. Barkdale, sinking Into the
Sleepy Hollow chair, and passing his
handkerchief vaguely across his fore
head. "Well, It's a mere mailer of
fate; I can't see how I inn to explain
myself, and yet perhaps I ought to ex
plain. Ladles"
" HuHh-sh-sh-sh," cried Ihe six pretty
girls, all In a hissing chorus : " Kale Is
coming; Bessie has brought her. IIiihIi-
sh 1 l)on't say a word, Mr. (Ireeii-
Held."
The golden-haired girl's hand was
clapped promptly over his mouth. Alley
Moore grits u'd his arm spasmodically,
and (he other forms danced a sort of be.
witching little feminine war dance about
him, while a seventh girl entered a
prclty Miidouua-faced little creature like
a dove.
" I'ome and kins him Kate," cried all
the others. "Now, don't bo rldlculoiiH,
for we shan't lake any notice. Here he
Is."
"Kiss who y cried Kate, standing
still and staring around her. " Ulrls,
whaton earth do you mean V"
"You provoking thing I" said Bar
bara, stamping her little foot. " lloyou
suppose we are nil fools y Why, of
course we know all iibout them I It's
Mr. (Ireenllcld your cousin. Kate
the young M. I)."
Kato looked around In bewilder
ment. " Where y"
" Why here I"
" Nothing of the sort I" said Kale, de
murely. Our hero stood up, feeling himself
growing very uncomfortably warm and
red.
" Ladles 1" said lie, "there's some
mlxtiike here. I said at the outset that
my name was not Oreenlleld."
" There !" cried the girls, all at once.
" There !" echoed Kate, defiantly.
"Didn't wo tell you?" cried the
girls.
" Didn't 1 tell you V" retorted Kate.
"Bo kind enough to let us know what
your name Is, sir."
" Cephas Barkdale," said the wretch
ed victim of a misunderstanding.
" But," said Miss Moore, "you said
it was Noit Oreenlleld."
"Of course I did I" said the puzzled
bachelor. "Jt Isn't Oreenlleld, and It
never will be unless I have it changed
by act of Legislature."
"Oh-li!" cried the girls. "Dear,
dear, to be sure 1 And we thought you
were Kate's lover and his name is
N-o double t Nott Grecnlleld."
" Do hold your tongues, you rldleu
lous things," said Kate, half vexed, half
laughing. " What must Mr. Barkdale
think of UBy"
" I think you are very nice," he said,
gallantly. , ,
"Miss Barbara in the meantime had
taken a Blip of paper out of her pocket
She uttered a hysterical shriek.
"It's all my fault!" she exclaimed.
" It was No. 39 instead of No. 30 and
the tall of the horrid figure turned the
wrong end up that' all. And the
cake and the flowers and everything!"
" Stop, ladles, If you please," said Mr.
Barkdale, courteously. " Because the
surprise has come to the wrong place is
no reason why the right person should
not enjoy it. Allow me to give up this
room to your use this evening. I will
just step across the street and send Mr.
Nott Greenfield over."
"But you must return with him,"
said the girls."
And Mr. Barkdale was not allowed to
depart until he hud promised.
Mr. Nott Greenfield a good-looking
medical studentwho had the " sky
parlor" directly opposite came prompt
ly on mention of the name of Kate
Kelford, and did the polite thing in
introducing Mr. Barkdale; and Mr,
Barkdale ate of tho sandwiches, and
enjoyed the cake and cream, and coaxed
Miss Barbara to pin a little pink rose
bud iu the buttonhole of his coat, and
enjoyed himself prodlgously.
"I'd like to be surprised likejthia
every night in the year," said he.
" Oh, you greedy creature!" said Miss
Barbara.
" But there was one time I seriously
meditated throwing myself out of the
window," said he, "when you told me
I was to kiss Miss Kate.,' , . . , t ; , , .
" Dear, dear," said Barbara, ironical
ly ; " that would have been dreadful,
wouldn't It y" ,.t ,.
" But the awkwardness of the thing. V
" I dare say you never kissed a pretty
girl!" pouted tho blonde.
" I never did," said the bachelor,
growing bold, " but I will now, If you
say so."
" But I don't any to," said Barbara,
coloring and laughing. "Behave your
self, sir."
Mr. Barkdale went home with the
fair Barbara, and they grew to ho very
great frlciid,aiid,whoro'a the use of try
ing to conceal how It all ended y They
were married at the year's end, with all
the surprlsers as bridesmaids, and Kato
Kellford Included. Mr. Nott Greenfield
proposes to follow the example us soon
as ho gels well,
A L0VEJ1 L03T BY TEMPCfl.
Mil. WALTKH LAN DOll stood on
the steps of an elegant mansion
In a suburban village, his hand Jut touch
ing Hie bell-knob, when, suddenly, tho
sounds of altercation floated through the
open window, from the parlor.
" Jane Kvans," cried a shrill, angry
voice, that at first he did not recognize,
did you break my vase, you good-for-
nothing Imp y I'll tell mammal And
there take that."
The sound of a blow followed, nc.eotn-
paulert by moro angry tones, the words
of which were Inaudible to the tin wil
ling listener outside.
Walter Landor turned from the door,
walked swiftly down the steps, and
gained the street, almost (lazed.
" Could It be possible," heslild to him
self, "that this harsh, angry voice be
longed to the lovely Isabel Lclgh
ton y She, whom ho had thought the
perfection of womanhood Y Was it
possible that these coarse words issued
from the same beautiful Hps, which had
sung for him almost every evening of
late Much notes of tender sweetness Y
Was It possible that she who had seemed
so amiable and lovely, could have struck
a defenceless servant y"
Yes! It was possible. There could
be no mistake. Alas! his idol hurt
fallen. It had been shivered to atoms
In a moment. He saw It had been
nothing but a common clay image
after nil.
A few hours later, Miss Lelghton sat
Iu her room reading a note from Mr.
Landor. "Mr. Landor," It ran, "re.
grets Ids inability to keep ids appoint
ment to ride with Miss Lelghton this
afternoon, and begs she will excuse
him, as lie is unexpectedly called from
town."
MIhb Lelghton crushed the paper In
her small jeweled hand, and threw it
angrily upon the carpet.
What could it mean y Some subtile
presentiment told her that there was
more In it than met the eye. She
little suspected tho whole truth, how
ever. " Ho has taken oirence at something,"
she said, after she had calmed down.
" l'erhaps he thinks I flirt too much
with Harry Fairfax." Then her eye
lit up with a gleam of triumph. "Pshaw!
It la only a little fit of Jealousy. When
he returns, I can soon have him
back."
She looked at herself in the mirror,
as she spoke, and the fair face reflected
her spirits.
" Have you seen Walter Landon since
his return y" asked one of her acquaint
ances, a fort-night later. And Miss
Lelghton thought there was malice In
the tone. " lie la constantly at your
house, isn't he y"
"No! Yea!" answered Miss Lelgh
ton, violating the truth, rather than ad
mit her defeat ; for this waa the first she
had heard of his coming back.
" He waa at a small party at Mrs.
Beacon's last night and very attentive
to her nelce, Mlsa Thomly, who la
from the country. Her father was a
farmer, I believe; hut she is very
pretty."
Every word of this was a atab to Miss
Lelghton. Three weeka ago. no party,
no pretty girl, much less "a school
teacher," as she scornfully called Mlsa
Thoruley, could have kept Walter Lan
don from her bide.
When her mallcloua guest had left,
Mlsa Lelghton went to the window,
and watched her walking down the
street.
" Nasty thing," she soliloquized, " she
came here just to tell me that."
Suddenly, as she stood there, a
thought flashed on her, like a revela
tion.
She remembered the morning she had
struck Jano Evans, and that it was
about the hour that Walter Landon
often called. She summoned Jane, an
grily, who came In, looking sulky.
" Do you remember the morning, you
clumsy fool," uhe said, " that you broke
that vase V Was Mr. Walter Landon
here'r1" v
"Yes, mam," answered Jane, glad at
last, to have her revenge. " Leastwise,
when you hit me, and I ran from you, I
saw, through the window, Mr. Landor
on the doorsteps; but he didn't ring : he
turned and walked off promiscuous
like." She grinned in triumph. "And
he hasn't been here since."
" You leave this day, you impudent
thing," broko out Miss Lelghton. "How
dare you stand there, and grin nt
mo y
" Mease, Miss, I'm not ft thing," re
piled Jane, with a mock courtesy. And
knowing she would go for good this
time, she dared everything iu her retort.
"But when young ladles lose their
young men, I 'nposo they are mad
enough to call other girls any names
that comes first."
Dodging a book that Miss Lelghton,
now roused to fury, Hung at her, Jane
fled through the door, and went straight
up to the tittle, to puck her things.
Miss Lelghton remained liitherpoin
blind wllh rage. She understood every
thing, now. All wns lost. And it was
hard, very hard ; for Walter Landon
was not only elegant and fastidious, but
the heir of nearly half n million: and,
he was the only one of all the train of
admirers for whom the proud beauty
had ever really cared.
Six mouths later Walter Landon
wedded Lucy Thornley, whose sweet
loveliness and charming manners were
admired by every one, save Miss
Lelghton.
She wondered what people could see
Iu that " country girl to admire. The
chit hadn't a bit of style. Moreover,sho
had taught school for allvlng. A lady V
not she! to think that the bride of
Walter Landon should bo only a poor
school teacher !"
' A Whistling Corpse.
There are some tilings about corpses,
however, that need to be explained, and
of ono of these phenomena is the dead
man's whistle; for there are departed
gentlemen that can whistle.
A correspondent of the Syracuse
"Courier" relates an experience of his
which bears upon this point. He and
ids friend Nick were sitting up to watch
over the body of an old gentleman.
Nick lay down on a sofa for tho first
nap, and ills companion paced up and
down the spacious library where the
body was lulil out, occasionally stopping
to change tho Ice cloths on tho face.
All was silent as the tomb, save the
trickling water as it dropped from tho
thawing ice.
Suddenly the corpse began to whistle,
and every hair on the watcher's head
bristled in horror.
"Nick, come for God's sake! The
old man Is getting up !"
With these exclamations on his Hps,
the startled watcher slummed the door
behind him and rati home as fust as his
legs could carry him, leaving Nick to
face the music, as it were. But the
scientific explanation Is very simple.
Gas hud formed In tho dead man's stem
auh, and the Jarring, caused by the fall
of pieces of ice from the forehead into
pulls beneath, had allowed it to escape
through tho toothless and wrinkled
mouth. So the derd mun whistled like
a school-boy.
- tta
Long Words.
" Bob," said Tom," which ia the most
dangerous word in all the English lan
guuge to pronounce V"
"Don't know," aaid Bob, " unless it
la a swearing word."
" Pooh," said Tom, " it is stumbled ;
because you are sure to get a tumble be
tween the first and last letter."
"Ha, hoi" said Bob, " now I've one
for you. I found it one day in reading
the paper. Which is the longest word
in all the English language V"
" Valetudinarianism," Bald Thomas
promptly. ' '
" No, sir, " it'a smile, because there'a
a whole mile between the first and last
letter.,'
" No, ho !" cried Tom, " that'a noth
lng, I know a word that has over three
miles between its beginning and end
ing."
"Now, what i thaty" aaid Bob
faintly.
Beleagured,', exclaimed Tom, trl
umpantly.
frST Becently a wealthy and eccentrio
citizen called upon the undertaker, to pay
a bill for the burying of a member of
his family. The account waa handed to
the gentleman, who taking it, stood for
some momenta in a contemplative mood,
eyeing it closely and murmuring an oc
casional " hum," " hum."
" Anything wrong in the billy" In
quired the undertaker.
"No," replied the honest old chap,
" but I wua wondering how poor people
dare die uow-a-days."
Benefactors. '
When a board of eminent physicians
and chemists announced the discovery
that by combining some well known
valuable remedies, the most wonderful
medicine waa produced, which would
cure a wide range of diseases that most
all other remedies could be dispensed
with, many were sceptical ; but proof of
its merits by actual ..trial haa dispelled
doubt, and to-day the discovers of that
great inedlcIne,liop Bitters, are honored
and blessed by all as benefactors. 511 2t
Dll. WHITTIEII,
No. DOS Ponn Street, Pittsburgh, Pa.,
(Imtllnues In afford reliable special tieatmenl of
Private, mni Urinary iimih.s. I'm fret Mir
guaranteed. RpnriiiBtori line or fiemiiml Wmk.
nn rcsiilMiiR from self nlnne or mini mnnt,
prodimlng nervous dehllily, ulglit euilMiliins. lilt
spntiilnnny, ill..lliiss, dimness nl sight, pimples
nl Ihn iRim, weakness of in I nil mill hnily, nml
llimlly Imimleney, Imsol nexunl power, sterility,
etn.. Willi ling the VKiilm tor marriage or bus liens
hii I isiiilHilim life itilsnriililn, are permanently
cured In shortest poillln lime liiinorroeas.
(limit, Hlrlnttires, nil Urinary diseases mill Hyphl.
lit. (till form", ennsls lug of skill Eruptions, t.
tiers in Ids month, thrust, or on other hurts of His
linily, art perfently mi ml, mill Hid IiIuuiI polsna
tlioroiiKllly sraillnntHil from Ihn svhiimii. hit.
Will III Kit Is it rKHlnr xriiihinlo l inrdlelno, m
Ills illpliiiiiH At oniim snows i tils Ufa Inn Hpnnlnl
expci ImiiB In nil prlvntn illxenies, with pnriint
in (Peine prrpiired hy hlitmilf, enlii linn to
ciirnillllliMill, imm nftor nlhnrs full it isswrsvl
ilmil, tlmt, n pliyilnlun trnnlniK thiiir'niili nl naw
nviiry yttsr mniiilrm kh'iiI, skill. Thn Ih!IIhIi.
nieiil Is nnntriil anil rnllrfd, nml so nrrnmri'il tlmt,
pHticiils m thn iloi'lor only. (,'oihiiIihHoii nml
eorrnspunili'iii'S prlvatn ntirt frpe. I'nnipliln'ssHiit
Si'iih'il fur hliinip, Meillclnt'S sent, rvmyo lm r.
Hours (I A. M to 1 V, M., nml S I. M.. In HI'. M.
Hiinilnvs frnin III A. M., to 1 I'. M. KveryuoUy
nlimi lil refill I tin
MAItltlAUi: AM) HEALTH UU1DE,
lit inns, linn Illustrations, prkm 2u cents. A
lionk fur prlv lie. ciiipf il r nillnii liy Imth si-xns,
Inttrrli'il or slnuln. ftKiiPtlnlnir wnnop m mill oivh.
tiirli's of snximT syilmnf rnpnuiiiMtiiin, iniirrlHK
Iuiii'i1iunnts. iitn.. ciuiii. eiiiiwiiui-iinfl soil (inn.
Hniil st otliim or liy nmll, mini, securely neiiUMl, on
reciiipi oi irii'd in imilipv or nostinin niiins. All.
(lints lilt. WllliriKH. tiu. Aui J (Mill ht.. Hits.
1)111 nil, I'll.
w 4H ly
J. M. (IIHVIN.
J. It. OlHVIN.
J. M. GIRVIN & SON.,
FLOUR, GRAIN. SEED At PRODUCE
Commission Morclinnl,
No. (i t Mouth (.a;, St.,
BALTIMORE, MD.
Utt ,M1 t.nt, ...I,,, ln,,tl,.H 4 - II
" "in fin j nu ii i ninrniuii i ir t nn Ulim IFI nil
Kind of Country J'nxtiice and remit thf Hinuntn
'lMIIrbij, ! lyr. -
J. M. OIKVIN A BON.
E.
WAIIIIINII'S
(IS7H Uniform (!tipyrlilitfil 177)
Thn Latest and IW. A (Irnnt linproviiment
want sunplloil, Wo fiirnl.ili low and whatever
you need.
Law and Commercial Supplies of nil Kinds.
- Henil for samples and price fists of wlist
you want,
-Calnlcnes of Wanks furnished at TIII9
OKFICK, or direct from the iilillhi-r.
i';. wAitiiso, Tyrone, ra.
N
:w wacjox shop.
TIIK undersigned IiuvIiir opened a
WHEELWRIGHT SHOP,
NEW JJLOOMFIELD,
are now prepared todo any kind of work In their
line In any style, at prices which cannot fall t
give satlHiactloii. ( ni rianen of nil stylos buill
and all work will be warranted.
BTOUKFKB & CKIBT.
NewMlimnilt d, April 23, 187-1.
jyjUSSER & ALLEN
CENTRAL STORE
NEWPORT, TENN'A.
Sow Oder the publls
A KA11K AND KLKOANT ASSORTMENT OF
DRESS GOODS
Consisting sf all shades suitable for the season.
BLA CK ALFA CCAS
AND ' V
Mourning Goods,
A SPECIALITY. "
BLEACHED AND UNBLEACHED
Musiiiisrs,
AT VAKIOU8 PRICES. V '
1
AN ENDLESS SELECTION OF PRINTS!
We sell and do keep a good quality of
SUGARS, COFFEES & SYRUPS,
And ererytliing under the head of
GROCERIES I
Machine needles and oil for. all make of
Machines. ,
To be convinced that our goods are ,
CHEAP AS THE CHEAPEST,
13 TO CALL AND EXAMINE STOCK.
No trouble to show goods.
1 i . . ' ' . . r
Don't forget the
CENTRAL STORE,
Newport, Perry Comity, Pa.
WHEN FEVER AND AOTJE,
MALARIA, AND ALL FEVERS CAN RE
i CURED ,; ,
iron no CENTH,
It Is criminal to suffer. An absolute means of
cure Is fauu4 iu . . .
INFALLIABLE AGUE PILLS.
THIS specllle cures not only Chills and Fe
vers, but every form of Malarial taint from
Aching bones to the Hhakes There ia no mistake
about It. It you get the riijht article. ,
Kemember the name SilOLL'H AGUE PILLS.
Reraber the price K1FTY CENTS.
If your druggifti haa none. I will send them by
mall on receipt of 5" cents, or I will send a box
free to any prrson not able t i pav lor them.
- Address JOSEPH SHOLL, Burlington, New
Jersey. ...,,.. .QU
t