THE TIMES, NEW 1JL00MF1EL1), PA.. A1MUL 10, 1878. no irtlcular deflre nt the present time. u Ah, then there Is some mistake. Allan Tabor told me that you wished to me." "O, the Infernal, lying Jade!" ex claimed Lovlna, totally unable to con tain herself. Heavens 1 how Oliver Lincoln started s he heard that voice and those words. Ife gazed up Into Lovlna's face, and he could hardly realize that she was the tf.tmo person with whom he had been conversing. Those features, that had looked so beautiful, were all passion w rought, and looked demoniac In their expression. In an Instant she saw the f!'ect she had produced, and thinking that the quickest method of undoing the mischief would be to awaken sympathy In her behalf, she moved to a conveni ent place and then fainted. "Stop, stop," said Walter, as Oliver started towards the protrate girl," she Is mod to that sort of thing. I'll ring for hor maid." And suiting the action to the word he gave the bell-cord a hard pull. In a few moments Sarah Tarbor came tn at one door, and Gilbert at another. " What i Sarah !" uttered Oliver Lin coln, staring towards the maid, and rubbing his eyes In astonishment." Mrs. Gilbert stood aghast. Lovina started from her swoon and gazed about her. Watson, for the first time In his Hfe,feH a pang of jealousy shoot through hi heart. " Yes, Oliver, this is me," returned thp girl. " Why, I thought you had gone away to the country," continued the young captain. " What does this mean V " It means that I have staid here to watch you," said Sarah, with a smile. " To watch me!" repeated Oliver. "O, the vile, deceitful man! The Siypocrite! thebasepaltroon !" fell from f iovina'8 lips. " O, you abominable ! how many poor girls would you de .ceiveV" " Mr. Lincoln," said the widow, w ith Kioat and severe dignity, " what is the meaning of all this V" ' Upon my soul, madam, I cannot tf1 !, My sister must explain in it." ''Your sister," uttered Mrs. Gilbert. Sister!" chimed Lovlna. Sister.1." mused Watson. " Yes, Lis sister," Mild the fair girl. In a faim tone, "Miss Tabor Lincoln." " But, Sarah, what" 11 Stop, my brother, and I will ex plain. When you came home and in herited your share of our great fortune I knew that you would be made the ob jeot of all kinds of scheming. I knew your generous, confiding nature, and I k new how easily pretended friendship would deceive you. I'saw that you were drawn this way, and I thought that here your affections might turn. I had heard unucJj of -what rumor bud snUi concerti ng Mrs. Gilbert and her daughter, but I dared not advise you on the strength of that ; and as soon aB I became assured that you were really setting your affec tions here, I resolved to satisfy myself of the character with which you had to deal. To that end I told you I was go ing into the country. I did go but I came back on the very next day and en gaged myself to serve Mrs. Gilbert, as a waiting-maid. I have seen more here than I shall ever tell. I did not mean, however, to have made the exposure quite so public ; but it cannot be helped fiow. I did not know till about an hour aince that you were to have been here this evening, or I should have seen you tiefore you came ; but, as it was, I had to do the best I could, for I feared that you might make a promise to-night that could not be easily broken ; so I sent il r. Gilbert to break the way." . " O I curses on you !" uttered Lovina ; and then she fainted again. What could the mother do Y She saw herself exposed with not a word of ex. planation. She had too much prudence to exhibit all her anger, so she fainted, too. " Upon my soul," said Watson, " this ist the end of a grand scheme." " But the women," said Oliver ; "they must be attended to." "O, bless you, captain, they are too much used to that sort of a thing to have it damage them. They wont want to come to till you are gone, I can assure you. So If you really pity them you will leave them to themselves as soon as lossible," " I will run and get my bonnet and abawl and accompany you," said Sarah, flhe left the room. " Come, captain," resumed Watson, 41 Ist's withdraw to another room." ' Mr. Gilbert," said Oliver, as the two reached the hall, " I am hardly myself y yt. I an hardly realize what all this aeins." 11 Why, since the exposure has been ta strangely made," returned Watson, " tt may not be undutiful for me to peak. I couldn't have found it In my heart to exjpoee my sister, but since your gister has -done the business, let me as sure you that you have escaped a trap that bad been set with much care." At this moment Sarah returned. 'MiesLlnooln," tiaid young Gilbert, In a low, soft tone, " may I not accom pany you V" Sarah hung down her head for a mo ment as if to fix her shawl; but she made no objection to the proposal, and on the next momeut Watson had drawn her arm within his own. " Come, captain," he said, " you must lead the way." Watson Gilbert must have said some strange things to Sarah, during the walk, for when they reached the cap tain's quarters she was all blushes, and a most strange light was dancing in her eyes. On the next morning Sarah revealed to her brother the real character of Mrs. Gilbert and her daughter. The young man was astonished. He shuddered to think of the lasting evil he had escaped, and he blessed his sister for the service she had done. "But," said he, "why did you not tell this to me before " I meant to have told you before you made a second formal visit." " But you should have told me direct ly after my first one." Sarah's eyes fell, and she blushed. " Aha-a-a ! I see It now. You had not trapped yourself, eh V Mr. Watson Gilbert-" " If you love me. Oliver" " O, I do love you, and I think I am not the only one, eh f" What did Wat son Gilbert say to you last night ? " He asked me to become his wife ?" " Zounds I you are frank. And what did you tell him V" " That I would speak with you." " What a dear, good sister you are. So by your management I lose a wife, and you gain a husband." " But Miss Gilbert may yet" "O, the Lord deliver me." " Then I have another for you." "Eh V" "Don't you remember Caroline At kins i" " Sweet Kate. Alas ! she has moved away off." " Not over a mile." " What ? WThy, Mrs. Gilbert told me she had gone off South V" " That was a falsehood. She is now in the suburbs of this city." " Then I'll see her to day. You shall go with me." " Most certainly I will." They went, and the result was that both Caroline and Oliver were made very happy. In a fortnight afterwards there was a double wedding in a magnificent man sion, in the great city. Oliver Lincoln held sweet Caroline Atkins by the hand, and Watson Gilbert led Sarah Pabor Lincoln to their side. It was a glorious time. Mrs. Gilbert and her daughter were both invited, but they did not come, Lovina soon recovered from the shock she had received,and went at once about setting her trap again ; but though it has been set for years, yet no one has been so unfortunate as to get caught in it. Poor Lovina! she is getting old without a husband, and she begins to see that if she had long ago learned to trap her own follies she would have been happier than she now is. Fun In the Witness Box. IN a recent trial at Winchester, a wit ness, falling to make his version of a conversation intelligible by reason of bis fondness for " says I" and " says he," was taken in band by Baron Mar tin with the following result : " My man, tell us now exactly what passed." " Yes, my lord. I said I would not have the pig." "And what was his answer?" " He said he bad been keeping it for me, and that he" " No, no ; he could not have said that; he spoke in the first person." " No, my lord ; I was the first person that spoke." " I mean don't bring in the third person ; repeat his exact words." "There was no third person, my lord ; only bim and me." " My good fellow, he did not say he had been keeping the pig; he said, ' I have been keeping it.' " " I assure you, my lord, there was no mention of your lordship at all. We are on different stories. There was no third person there, and if anything had been said about your lordship I must have beard it." The baron gave in. Lord Mans field once came off second best in en deavoring to make a witness use intelli gible language. The man had deposed that he bad not suffered any loss at the defendant's hands, because be was up to him. " What do you mean by being up to him V" asked his lordship. "Mean, my lord? why, that I was down upon him." "Down upon hlmV" repeated the judge, interrogatively. "Yes, my lord ; deep as he thought himself, I stagged him." "Really," said Lord Mansfield, " I do not understand this sort of language." "Not understand it!" exclaimed the unabashed adept in slang : " Not understand it 1 lord, what a fiat you must be!" Humorous in this way of putting things, wag the gentle man who said a Stock Exchange bear was a person who sold what be had' not got ; a bull a man w ho bought what he could not poy for,and that " a financier" was "a man who doesn't want shares buying them from one who has none to sell." A Jew, speaking of a young man as his son-in-law, was accused of misleading the court, since the young man was really his son. Moses, how ever, persisted that the name he put to the relationship was the right one, and, addressing the bench, said : " I was in Amsterdam two years and three-quarters ; when I come home I finds this lad. Now the law obliges me to maintain him, and consequently, lie Is my son-in-law." " Well," said Lord Mansfield, " this U the best definition of a son-in-law I ever yet heard." An Irishman, examined before a Fishery Commission, seemed so inclined to avow anything, that one of the commissioners asked if there were any whales on the west coast 'i "Is it whales?" said Pat. " Sure we may see'm by the dozen, spouting about like water-engines all over the place." " Are there many dog fish?" was the next question, "Dogs, begorra! ye'd say so 'ad ye passed the night here. Sure we can't sleep for the barkin V thim." " Do flylng-flsh abound here ?" queried another gentle man. "Flying-fish, is it?" quoth the veracious fellow. " If we didn't put up the shutters every night there wouldn't be a whole pane o' glass In the house for the craters batln' against blm!" When he came up for his expenses, Pat tried to coax something extra out of the commissioners on the plea that he had sworn toeverythlng their honors "nxed" him. Irish witnesses are not usually so pliable, no small amount of skill and patience being required to ex tract a definite answer to the simplest of questions. Nothing pleases your fun. loving Irishman better than to bother a lawyer, and the Irish courts have known many a dialogue like this : " You are a Roman Catholic?" "Am I!" "Are you not ?" " You say I am." " Come, sir ; w hat's your religion ?" " The true religion." "What religion's that?" " My religion." "And what is your religion?" "My mother's religion." "What was your mother's religion ?" " She tuk whisky in her tay." " You bless yourself, don't you ?" " When I'm done with you, I will." "What place of worship do you go to ?" " The most convaynient." "Of what per suasion are you ?" " My persuasion is that you won't find out." "What is your belief?" " That you are puzzled." "Do you confess?" "Not to, you." " Who would you write to If you were likely to die?" "The doctor." " I in sist upon your answering me, sir. Are you a Roman Catholic?" "I am." " And why didn't you say so at once ?" " You never axed me. You said I was a great many thing, but you never axed me ; you were drlvin' cross words and crooked questions at me, and I thought it was manners to cut my behavior on your own pattern. A Puzzled Dutchman Made Glad. A DUTCHMAN once heard a sermon by a preacher who did not believe in immersion for baptism. In his dis course he attempted to explain the prop, ositlon " into," asserting that it meant going down to or near the water, and being sprinkled. At the close of this very labored discouse, the preacher gave an opportunity for any present 'to ex press their thoughts on the subject. The Dutchman accepted the invitation, and remarked as follows : " Mr. Breacher, I lsh so glad I vash here to-night, for I has had explained to my mint something dat I never could believe pefore. Oh, I ish so glad dat into does not mean into at all, but shust close py or near to, for now I can pe lleve manlsh things vot I could not un. derstand before. We reat, Mr. Breacher, dat Tantlel was cast Into de ten of Hons, and come out alife ! Now,I never could understand dat, for de wilt peasts would eat him up right off; but now it ish very clear to me mint. He was shust close by or near to, and did not get into de ten at all. Oh, I Ish so glad I vash here to-night. Again we reat dat der Hebrew children wash cast into the firlsh furnace, and dat always lookt like a peeg story, too ; for I dinks dey would have peen purnt up ; but it ish all blaln to my mint now, fur dey was shust cast close py or near to de firlsh furnace , oh, I lsh so glad I vash here to-night. "And den, Mr. Breacher, it. ish said dat Jonah vaa east into the walesh pel ley. Now I could never understand dot; but it lsh all plain to my mint now ; he vash not taken into de whales pelley at all, but shust shump onto bis pack and rode ashore. Oh, I ish so glat I vash here to-night. " And now, Mr. Breacher, if you'll shust explain two more pasliages of Scrip ture, I shall be so happy I vash here to night. One of dem is vere it saish, de vicked shall be cast Into dat lake. I glat to know if am wicked dot I shall not be cast Into dat lake, but shust close py or near enough to be comfortable ? hopes you vlll say I shall cast shest by, a good wayoff and I will pe so glat dat I vash here to-night. Do oder paHhoge Is dat vlch saish, blessed are dey who obey does commandments, dat day amy have a right to de tree or llfe.and enter through the gates into de city. Oh, tell nie dat I shall get into de city, and not close by or near to, shust near enough to see what I have lost, and I shall be so glat I vash here to-night." Ancient Buildings. Some have asserted that no buildings sufficiently capacious to bold such a multitude of people, could be construct ed so as to rest chiefly upon two pillars ; but this Is a mistake, for Fllny mentions two theutres, built by Curio, of amazing dimensions and made of wood. They' were so contrived that each of them was made to depend upon one Mnge. This led Pliny to censure the madness f the people, who would venture into a place for their pleasure, where they sat on such an uncertain and unstable seat ; for If that binge had given way the slaughter would have been dreadful. Shaw supposes the temple of Dagon to be of the same kind with the ancient sacred lnclosures, surrounded in part, or altogether, with some cloistered build ings. He says that palaces and courts of Justice In those countries are built in this fashion ; and upon their festivals and rejoicings a great quantity of sand is strewed upon the area for the wrest lers to fall upon, while the roof of the cloisters round about is crowded with spectators. He mentions having often seen several hundreds of people amused in this manner upon the roof of the dey 's palace at Algiers, which has an advanced cloister over against the gate of the palace, made in the fashion of a large pent-house, supported only by one or two contiguous pillars in the front, or else in the centre. Sampson must have been In the court or area below, and up on a supposition that in the house of Eagon was a cloistered structure of this kind, the pulling down the front or cen tre pillars which supported it must have occasioned the catastrophe which hap pened to the Philistines. - - A Little too Modest.. A lady on the North side wishing to test the merits of Dr. Bull's Cough Syrup thought it would never do to ask the druggist in the name of "Bull." Why, dear me, she couldn't say Bull to save her life, and called at last on a neighboring woman for suggestions on matter. Dr. Cow's, Dr. Calf's, Dr. Buf falo's and Dr. Oxen's Syrup were all mentioned. The latter suited. " Yes.that will do Dr. Oxen the very thing, the druggist will understand that." A walk of two squares found her at the counter of Dr. H 's store, when the following dialogue occurred : " I wish a bottle of Dr. Oxen's Cough Syrup." "Dr. Oxen, Oxen, why, mam, I don't believe I keep that. You mean Cox's Hive Syrup, don't you ?" " Oh, no, I mean, mean Dr. Oxen," and then she seemed wrapped in solemn thought for a moment, when a bright idea seemed to beam forth. " Hasn't Dr. Oxen got a relation or" " Oh, yes, you mean Dr. Bull's Cough Syrup, yes, yes." The lady sat down a moment and all was over. " Indian apolis Exchange." fgg- The Immense stones used in the construction of the pyramids of Egypt were obtained from the quarries in the Arabian hills, and were carried to the river over a bridge of boats. They were then brought by means of a causeway, which of itself took ten years to con struct, and which is said to have been a fine work, with its polished stone and figures of animals engraved upon them. One hundred thousand men were em ployed at one time, and these were re lieved by the same number at the end of three months. Along time was spent in the leveling of the rock on which the edifice now stands, and twenty years for the erection of the edifice itself. The stones were raised step by step,by means of a machine made of short pieces of wood; and last of all, commencing from the top, the stones were cemented to gether by layers of cement not thicker than a strip of paper, the strength of which is proved by the age of these enormous memorials. And to crown all the pyramid was encased in marble, pre senting one of the most beautiful sights the world has ever beheld. g2T"An amusing occurr ence took place in our presence on Monday," says a news editor. " We went into a barber's shop not far from Hanover square ,where we found Wllllam.a Journeyman, comb, lng a gentleman's hair, who was asleep. During the operation we were shaved and washed ; but observing on going out, that William was still at work, we conjectured he had been hired to operate by the hour. Imagine our surprise, however, when we were informed that both William and the customer had been asleep for more than half an hour the one at ease In bis seat, and the other en. Joying a perpendicular nop." VKGETINB rou CHILLS, SHAKES, FEVER & AGUE. Dr. n.R. Steven,:- Trboro, N. 0., 1878. Dear Hlr, I feel very crate fill for what yotir valuable medicine, Vegetlne.ha, done In my lam lly. I .wish to express my thanks by Informing you pi the wonderful cure of my son: also, to let you know that Vegetlne Is the Imst medlclue I ever saw for Chills, Shakes, Fever and Ague. My "l?.".? '."k ,th measles In 1873. which left him with lllp joint disease. My son suffered a great den of pain, all of the time; the pain was so treat he did nothing Out ery. The doctors did not help hlin a particle, he could not lift his foot from the floor, he could not move without crutches. 1 read Sour advertisement In the "Louisville Courier ournal" that Vegetlne was a great Hlood Puri fier and Blood Food. I tried one bottle, which was a great benefit. He kept on with the medl cine, gradually gaining. He has taken ethteeu bottles In all, and he Is completely restoled to health, walks without crutches or cane. He Is 20 years of age. I have a younger son, 15 of age. who Is subject to Chills. Whenever he feels one coming on, he comes in, takes a dose of Vegetlne and that Is the last of the Chill Vegetlne leaves no bad effect upon the system like most of the medicines recommended for Chills. I cheerfully recommend Vegetlne for such complaints. I thluk It Is the the greatest medicine In the world. Respectfully, Mhs. J. W. LLOYD. Vegetlne. When the blood becomes lifeless and stagnant, either from change of weather or of climate, want of exercise. Irregular diet, or from any other cause, the Vegetlne will renew the blood carry of the putrldT humors, cleanse the stomach, regulate the bowels, and Impart a tone of vigor to the whole body. VEGETINE. fob DYSPEPSIA, JMTtroUSKESS, AND GENERAL DEBILITY. Bernardston, Mass., 1878. We, the undersigned, having used Vegetlne. take pleasure In recommending It to all those troubled with Humors of any kind. Dyspepsia. Nervousness, or General Debility, It being the Great Blood Furltler. Hold by It. L. Crowell St Sons, who sell more of It than all other patent medicines put together. MR8. I F. PURKTN8. MRU. H. W. BCOTT. JOSEPHUS SLATE. Vegetlne Is the great health restorer composed exclusively of barks, roots, and herbs. It Is very pleasant to take ; every child likes It. VEGETINE. FOR NE B VO US ME A DA CIIE AND RHEUMATISM. . Cincinnati, O., April 9, 1877. II. R. Stevens, Esq. : Dear Blr, I bave used your Vegetlne for Ner vous Headache, and also for Rheumatism, and have found entire relief from botlt.and take great pleasure in recommending It to all who may be like afflicted. FRI. A. GOOD, 108 Mill St., Clnn. Vegetlne has restored thousands to health who had been long and painful sufferers. VEQETINE. DRUGGISTS' TESTIMONY. Mr. H. R. Stevens : Dear Sir, We have been selling your remedy, the Vegetlne, for about 8 years, and take great pleasure in recommending It to our customers, and In no Instance when a blood purifier would reach the case, has It ever failed to effect a etire, to our knowledge. It certainly is the ne plus Ultra ui reuuvaturn. E. M. BliEFIIERD & CO., Druggists, Mt. Vernon, 111. Is acknowledged bv all classes of neonle te be the best and most reliable blood puriller in the worm. April. VEGETINE Prepared H. R. STEVENS, Boston, Mass. Vegetlne is Sold by all Druggists. JyJUSSER & ALLEN CENTRAL STORE NEWPORT, PENN'A. Now offer the publi A RARE AND ELEGANT ASSORTMENT OF DRESS GOODS Consisting sf all shades suitable for the seasoa. BLACK ALP AC CAS AND Mourning Goods A SPECIALITY. BLEACHED AND UNBLEACHED MUSLINS, AT VARIOUS PRICES. AN ENDLESS SELECTION OF PRINTS! We sell and do keep a good quality of SUGARS, COFFEES & SYRUPS, And everything under the bead of GROCERIES! Machine needles aud oil for all makes of Machines. To be conviuced that our goods are CHEAP AS THE CHEAPEST, IS TO CALL AND EXAMINE STOCK. f No trouble to show goods. Don't forget the CENTRAL STORE, Newport, Perry County, Pa.
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