THE TIMES, NEW 1JL00MF1EL1), PA.. A1MUL 10, 1878.
no irtlcular deflre nt the present time.
u Ah, then there Is some mistake.
Allan Tabor told me that you wished to
me."
"O, the Infernal, lying Jade!" ex
claimed Lovlna, totally unable to con
tain herself.
Heavens 1 how Oliver Lincoln started
s he heard that voice and those words.
Ife gazed up Into Lovlna's face, and he
could hardly realize that she was the
tf.tmo person with whom he had been
conversing. Those features, that had
looked so beautiful, were all passion
w rought, and looked demoniac In their
expression. In an Instant she saw the
f!'ect she had produced, and thinking
that the quickest method of undoing the
mischief would be to awaken sympathy
In her behalf, she moved to a conveni
ent place and then fainted.
"Stop, stop," said Walter, as Oliver
started towards the protrate girl," she Is
mod to that sort of thing. I'll ring for
hor maid." And suiting the action to
the word he gave the bell-cord a hard
pull.
In a few moments Sarah Tarbor came
tn at one door, and Gilbert at another.
" What i Sarah !" uttered Oliver Lin
coln, staring towards the maid, and
rubbing his eyes In astonishment."
Mrs. Gilbert stood aghast. Lovina
started from her swoon and gazed about
her. Watson, for the first time In his
Hfe,feH a pang of jealousy shoot through
hi heart.
" Yes, Oliver, this is me," returned
thp girl.
" Why, I thought you had gone away
to the country," continued the young
captain. " What does this mean V
" It means that I have staid here to
watch you," said Sarah, with a smile.
" To watch me!" repeated Oliver.
"O, the vile, deceitful man! The
Siypocrite! thebasepaltroon !" fell from
f iovina'8 lips. " O, you abominable !
how many poor girls would you de
.ceiveV" " Mr. Lincoln," said the widow, w ith
Kioat and severe dignity, " what is the
meaning of all this V"
' Upon my soul, madam, I cannot
tf1 !, My sister must explain in it."
''Your sister," uttered Mrs. Gilbert.
Sister!" chimed Lovlna.
Sister.1." mused Watson.
" Yes, Lis sister," Mild the fair girl. In
a faim tone, "Miss Tabor Lincoln."
" But, Sarah, what"
11 Stop, my brother, and I will ex
plain. When you came home and in
herited your share of our great fortune
I knew that you would be made the ob
jeot of all kinds of scheming. I knew
your generous, confiding nature, and I
k new how easily pretended friendship
would deceive you. I'saw that you were
drawn this way, and I thought that here
your affections might turn. I had heard
unucJj of -what rumor bud snUi concerti
ng Mrs. Gilbert and her daughter, but I
dared not advise you on the strength of
that ; and as soon aB I became assured
that you were really setting your affec
tions here, I resolved to satisfy myself
of the character with which you had to
deal. To that end I told you I was go
ing into the country. I did go but I
came back on the very next day and en
gaged myself to serve Mrs. Gilbert, as a
waiting-maid. I have seen more here
than I shall ever tell. I did not mean,
however, to have made the exposure
quite so public ; but it cannot be helped
fiow. I did not know till about an hour
aince that you were to have been here
this evening, or I should have seen you
tiefore you came ; but, as it was, I had
to do the best I could, for I feared that
you might make a promise to-night that
could not be easily broken ; so I sent
il r. Gilbert to break the way."
. " O I curses on you !" uttered Lovina ;
and then she fainted again.
What could the mother do Y She saw
herself exposed with not a word of ex.
planation. She had too much prudence
to exhibit all her anger, so she fainted,
too.
" Upon my soul," said Watson, " this
ist the end of a grand scheme."
" But the women," said Oliver ; "they
must be attended to."
"O, bless you, captain, they are too
much used to that sort of a thing to
have it damage them. They wont want
to come to till you are gone, I can assure
you. So If you really pity them you
will leave them to themselves as soon as
lossible,"
" I will run and get my bonnet and
abawl and accompany you," said Sarah,
flhe left the room.
" Come, captain," resumed Watson,
41 Ist's withdraw to another room."
' Mr. Gilbert," said Oliver, as the two
reached the hall, " I am hardly myself
y yt. I an hardly realize what all this
aeins."
11 Why, since the exposure has been
ta strangely made," returned Watson,
" tt may not be undutiful for me to
peak. I couldn't have found it In my
heart to exjpoee my sister, but since your
gister has -done the business, let me as
sure you that you have escaped a trap
that bad been set with much care."
At this moment Sarah returned.
'MiesLlnooln," tiaid young Gilbert,
In a low, soft tone, " may I not accom
pany you V"
Sarah hung down her head for a mo
ment as if to fix her shawl; but she
made no objection to the proposal, and
on the next momeut Watson had drawn
her arm within his own.
" Come, captain," he said, " you must
lead the way."
Watson Gilbert must have said some
strange things to Sarah, during the
walk, for when they reached the cap
tain's quarters she was all blushes, and
a most strange light was dancing in her
eyes.
On the next morning Sarah revealed
to her brother the real character of Mrs.
Gilbert and her daughter. The young
man was astonished. He shuddered to
think of the lasting evil he had escaped,
and he blessed his sister for the service
she had done.
"But," said he, "why did you not
tell this to me before
" I meant to have told you before you
made a second formal visit."
" But you should have told me direct
ly after my first one."
Sarah's eyes fell, and she blushed.
" Aha-a-a ! I see It now. You had
not trapped yourself, eh V Mr. Watson
Gilbert-"
" If you love me. Oliver"
" O, I do love you, and I think I am
not the only one, eh f" What did Wat
son Gilbert say to you last night ?
" He asked me to become his wife ?"
" Zounds I you are frank. And what
did you tell him V"
" That I would speak with you."
" What a dear, good sister you are. So
by your management I lose a wife, and
you gain a husband."
" But Miss Gilbert may yet"
"O, the Lord deliver me."
" Then I have another for you."
"Eh V"
"Don't you remember Caroline At
kins i"
" Sweet Kate. Alas ! she has moved
away off."
" Not over a mile."
" What ? WThy, Mrs. Gilbert told me
she had gone off South V"
" That was a falsehood. She is now
in the suburbs of this city."
" Then I'll see her to day. You shall
go with me."
" Most certainly I will."
They went, and the result was that
both Caroline and Oliver were made
very happy.
In a fortnight afterwards there was a
double wedding in a magnificent man
sion, in the great city. Oliver Lincoln
held sweet Caroline Atkins by the hand,
and Watson Gilbert led Sarah Pabor
Lincoln to their side. It was a glorious
time. Mrs. Gilbert and her daughter
were both invited, but they did not
come,
Lovina soon recovered from the shock
she had received,and went at once about
setting her trap again ; but though it
has been set for years, yet no one has
been so unfortunate as to get caught in
it. Poor Lovina! she is getting old
without a husband, and she begins to see
that if she had long ago learned to trap
her own follies she would have been
happier than she now is.
Fun In the Witness Box.
IN a recent trial at Winchester, a wit
ness, falling to make his version of a
conversation intelligible by reason of
bis fondness for " says I" and " says
he," was taken in band by Baron Mar
tin with the following result : " My
man, tell us now exactly what passed."
" Yes, my lord. I said I would not have
the pig." "And what was his answer?"
" He said he bad been keeping it for me,
and that he" " No, no ; he could not
have said that; he spoke in the first
person." " No, my lord ; I was the first
person that spoke." " I mean don't
bring in the third person ; repeat his
exact words." "There was no third
person, my lord ; only bim and me."
" My good fellow, he did not say he had
been keeping the pig; he said, ' I have
been keeping it.' " " I assure you, my
lord, there was no mention of your
lordship at all. We are on different
stories. There was no third person
there, and if anything had been said
about your lordship I must have beard
it." The baron gave in. Lord Mans
field once came off second best in en
deavoring to make a witness use intelli
gible language. The man had deposed
that he bad not suffered any loss at the
defendant's hands, because be was up to
him. " What do you mean by being up
to him V" asked his lordship. "Mean,
my lord? why, that I was down upon
him." "Down upon hlmV" repeated
the judge, interrogatively. "Yes, my
lord ; deep as he thought himself, I
stagged him." "Really," said Lord
Mansfield, " I do not understand this
sort of language." "Not understand
it!" exclaimed the unabashed adept in
slang : " Not understand it 1 lord, what
a fiat you must be!" Humorous in this
way of putting things, wag the gentle
man who said a Stock Exchange bear
was a person who sold what be had' not
got ; a bull a man w ho bought what he
could not poy for,and that " a financier"
was "a man who doesn't want shares
buying them from one who has none to
sell." A Jew, speaking of a young
man as his son-in-law, was accused of
misleading the court, since the young
man was really his son. Moses, how
ever, persisted that the name he put to
the relationship was the right one, and,
addressing the bench, said : " I was in
Amsterdam two years and three-quarters
; when I come home I finds this lad.
Now the law obliges me to maintain
him, and consequently, lie Is my son-in-law."
" Well," said Lord Mansfield,
" this U the best definition of a son-in-law
I ever yet heard." An Irishman,
examined before a Fishery Commission,
seemed so inclined to avow anything,
that one of the commissioners asked if
there were any whales on the west
coast 'i "Is it whales?" said Pat.
" Sure we may see'm by the dozen,
spouting about like water-engines all
over the place." " Are there many
dog fish?" was the next question,
"Dogs, begorra! ye'd say so 'ad ye passed
the night here. Sure we can't sleep for
the barkin V thim." " Do flylng-flsh
abound here ?" queried another gentle
man. "Flying-fish, is it?" quoth the
veracious fellow. " If we didn't put up
the shutters every night there wouldn't
be a whole pane o' glass In the house
for the craters batln' against blm!"
When he came up for his expenses,
Pat tried to coax something extra out
of the commissioners on the plea that
he had sworn toeverythlng their honors
"nxed" him. Irish witnesses are not
usually so pliable, no small amount of
skill and patience being required to ex
tract a definite answer to the simplest of
questions. Nothing pleases your fun.
loving Irishman better than to bother a
lawyer, and the Irish courts have known
many a dialogue like this : " You are a
Roman Catholic?" "Am I!" "Are
you not ?" " You say I am." " Come,
sir ; w hat's your religion ?" " The true
religion." "What religion's that?"
" My religion." "And what is your
religion?" "My mother's religion."
"What was your mother's religion ?"
" She tuk whisky in her tay." " You
bless yourself, don't you ?" " When
I'm done with you, I will." "What
place of worship do you go to ?" " The
most convaynient." "Of what per
suasion are you ?" " My persuasion is
that you won't find out." "What is
your belief?" " That you are puzzled."
"Do you confess?" "Not to, you."
" Who would you write to If you were
likely to die?" "The doctor." " I in
sist upon your answering me, sir. Are
you a Roman Catholic?" "I am."
" And why didn't you say so at once ?"
" You never axed me. You said I was
a great many thing, but you never axed
me ; you were drlvin' cross words and
crooked questions at me, and I thought
it was manners to cut my behavior on
your own pattern.
A Puzzled Dutchman Made Glad.
A DUTCHMAN once heard a sermon
by a preacher who did not believe
in immersion for baptism. In his dis
course he attempted to explain the prop,
ositlon " into," asserting that it meant
going down to or near the water, and
being sprinkled. At the close of this
very labored discouse, the preacher gave
an opportunity for any present 'to ex
press their thoughts on the subject. The
Dutchman accepted the invitation, and
remarked as follows :
" Mr. Breacher, I lsh so glad I vash
here to-night, for I has had explained to
my mint something dat I never could
believe pefore. Oh, I ish so glad dat
into does not mean into at all, but shust
close py or near to, for now I can pe
lleve manlsh things vot I could not un.
derstand before. We reat, Mr. Breacher,
dat Tantlel was cast Into de ten of Hons,
and come out alife ! Now,I never could
understand dat, for de wilt peasts would
eat him up right off; but now it ish
very clear to me mint. He was shust
close by or near to, and did not get into
de ten at all. Oh, I Ish so glad I vash
here to-night. Again we reat dat der
Hebrew children wash cast into the
firlsh furnace, and dat always lookt like
a peeg story, too ; for I dinks dey would
have peen purnt up ; but it ish all blaln
to my mint now, fur dey was shust cast
close py or near to de firlsh furnace , oh,
I lsh so glad I vash here to-night.
"And den, Mr. Breacher, it. ish said
dat Jonah vaa east into the walesh pel
ley. Now I could never understand
dot; but it lsh all plain to my mint
now ; he vash not taken into de whales
pelley at all, but shust shump onto bis
pack and rode ashore. Oh, I ish so glat
I vash here to-night.
" And now, Mr. Breacher, if you'll
shust explain two more pasliages of Scrip
ture, I shall be so happy I vash here to
night. One of dem is vere it saish, de
vicked shall be cast Into dat lake. I
glat to know if am wicked dot I shall
not be cast Into dat lake, but shust close
py or near enough to be comfortable ?
hopes you vlll say I shall cast shest by,
a good wayoff and I will pe so glat dat I
vash here to-night. Do oder paHhoge Is
dat vlch saish, blessed are dey who obey
does commandments, dat day amy have a
right to de tree or llfe.and enter through
the gates into de city. Oh, tell nie dat I
shall get into de city, and not close by
or near to, shust near enough to see
what I have lost, and I shall be so glat
I vash here to-night."
Ancient Buildings.
Some have asserted that no buildings
sufficiently capacious to bold such a
multitude of people, could be construct
ed so as to rest chiefly upon two pillars ;
but this Is a mistake, for Fllny mentions
two theutres, built by Curio, of amazing
dimensions and made of wood. They'
were so contrived that each of them was
made to depend upon one Mnge.
This led Pliny to censure the madness
f the people, who would venture into a
place for their pleasure, where they sat
on such an uncertain and unstable seat ;
for If that binge had given way the
slaughter would have been dreadful.
Shaw supposes the temple of Dagon to
be of the same kind with the ancient
sacred lnclosures, surrounded in part, or
altogether, with some cloistered build
ings. He says that palaces and courts
of Justice In those countries are built in
this fashion ; and upon their festivals
and rejoicings a great quantity of sand
is strewed upon the area for the wrest
lers to fall upon, while the roof of the
cloisters round about is crowded with
spectators. He mentions having often
seen several hundreds of people amused
in this manner upon the roof of the
dey 's palace at Algiers, which has an
advanced cloister over against the gate
of the palace, made in the fashion of a
large pent-house, supported only by one
or two contiguous pillars in the front, or
else in the centre. Sampson must have
been In the court or area below, and up
on a supposition that in the house of
Eagon was a cloistered structure of this
kind, the pulling down the front or cen
tre pillars which supported it must have
occasioned the catastrophe which hap
pened to the Philistines.
- -
A Little too Modest..
A lady on the North side wishing to
test the merits of Dr. Bull's Cough
Syrup thought it would never do to ask
the druggist in the name of "Bull."
Why, dear me, she couldn't say Bull to
save her life, and called at last on a
neighboring woman for suggestions on
matter. Dr. Cow's, Dr. Calf's, Dr. Buf
falo's and Dr. Oxen's Syrup were all
mentioned. The latter suited.
" Yes.that will do Dr. Oxen the very
thing, the druggist will understand
that."
A walk of two squares found her at
the counter of Dr. H 's store, when
the following dialogue occurred :
" I wish a bottle of Dr. Oxen's Cough
Syrup."
"Dr. Oxen, Oxen, why, mam, I don't
believe I keep that. You mean Cox's
Hive Syrup, don't you ?"
" Oh, no, I mean, mean Dr. Oxen,"
and then she seemed wrapped in solemn
thought for a moment, when a bright
idea seemed to beam forth. " Hasn't
Dr. Oxen got a relation or"
" Oh, yes, you mean Dr. Bull's Cough
Syrup, yes, yes." The lady sat down a
moment and all was over. " Indian
apolis Exchange."
fgg- The Immense stones used in the
construction of the pyramids of Egypt
were obtained from the quarries in the
Arabian hills, and were carried to the
river over a bridge of boats. They were
then brought by means of a causeway,
which of itself took ten years to con
struct, and which is said to have been
a fine work, with its polished stone and
figures of animals engraved upon them.
One hundred thousand men were em
ployed at one time, and these were re
lieved by the same number at the end of
three months. Along time was spent
in the leveling of the rock on which the
edifice now stands, and twenty years for
the erection of the edifice itself. The
stones were raised step by step,by means
of a machine made of short pieces of
wood; and last of all, commencing from
the top, the stones were cemented to
gether by layers of cement not thicker
than a strip of paper, the strength of
which is proved by the age of these
enormous memorials. And to crown all
the pyramid was encased in marble, pre
senting one of the most beautiful sights
the world has ever beheld.
g2T"An amusing occurr ence took place
in our presence on Monday," says a
news editor. " We went into a barber's
shop not far from Hanover square ,where
we found Wllllam.a Journeyman, comb,
lng a gentleman's hair, who was asleep.
During the operation we were shaved
and washed ; but observing on going
out, that William was still at work, we
conjectured he had been hired to operate
by the hour. Imagine our surprise,
however, when we were informed that
both William and the customer had been
asleep for more than half an hour the
one at ease In bis seat, and the other en.
Joying a perpendicular nop."
VKGETINB
rou
CHILLS, SHAKES, FEVER & AGUE.
Dr. n.R. Steven,:- Trboro, N. 0., 1878.
Dear Hlr, I feel very crate fill for what yotir
valuable medicine, Vegetlne.ha, done In my lam
lly. I .wish to express my thanks by Informing
you pi the wonderful cure of my son: also, to let
you know that Vegetlne Is the Imst medlclue I
ever saw for Chills, Shakes, Fever and Ague. My
"l?.".? '."k ,th measles In 1873. which left him
with lllp joint disease. My son suffered a great
den of pain, all of the time; the pain was so treat
he did nothing Out ery. The doctors did not help
hlin a particle, he could not lift his foot from the
floor, he could not move without crutches. 1 read
Sour advertisement In the "Louisville Courier
ournal" that Vegetlne was a great Hlood Puri
fier and Blood Food. I tried one bottle, which
was a great benefit. He kept on with the medl
cine, gradually gaining. He has taken ethteeu
bottles In all, and he Is completely restoled to
health, walks without crutches or cane. He Is 20
years of age. I have a younger son, 15 of age.
who Is subject to Chills. Whenever he feels one
coming on, he comes in, takes a dose of Vegetlne
and that Is the last of the Chill Vegetlne leaves
no bad effect upon the system like most of the
medicines recommended for Chills. I cheerfully
recommend Vegetlne for such complaints. I
thluk It Is the the greatest medicine In the world.
Respectfully, Mhs. J. W. LLOYD.
Vegetlne. When the blood becomes lifeless and
stagnant, either from change of weather or of
climate, want of exercise. Irregular diet, or from
any other cause, the Vegetlne will renew the
blood carry of the putrldT humors, cleanse the
stomach, regulate the bowels, and Impart a tone
of vigor to the whole body.
VEGETINE.
fob
DYSPEPSIA, JMTtroUSKESS,
AND GENERAL DEBILITY.
Bernardston, Mass., 1878.
We, the undersigned, having used Vegetlne.
take pleasure In recommending It to all those
troubled with Humors of any kind. Dyspepsia.
Nervousness, or General Debility, It being the
Great Blood Furltler. Hold by It. L. Crowell St
Sons, who sell more of It than all other patent
medicines put together.
MR8. I F. PURKTN8.
MRU. H. W. BCOTT.
JOSEPHUS SLATE.
Vegetlne Is the great health restorer composed
exclusively of barks, roots, and herbs. It Is very
pleasant to take ; every child likes It.
VEGETINE.
FOR
NE B VO US ME A DA CIIE
AND RHEUMATISM.
. Cincinnati, O., April 9, 1877.
II. R. Stevens, Esq. :
Dear Blr, I bave used your Vegetlne for Ner
vous Headache, and also for Rheumatism, and
have found entire relief from botlt.and take great
pleasure in recommending It to all who may be
like afflicted. FRI. A. GOOD,
108 Mill St., Clnn.
Vegetlne has restored thousands to health who
had been long and painful sufferers.
VEQETINE.
DRUGGISTS' TESTIMONY.
Mr. H. R. Stevens :
Dear Sir, We have been selling your remedy,
the Vegetlne, for about 8 years, and take great
pleasure in recommending It to our customers,
and In no Instance when a blood purifier would
reach the case, has It ever failed to effect a etire,
to our knowledge. It certainly is the ne plus
Ultra ui reuuvaturn.
E. M. BliEFIIERD & CO., Druggists,
Mt. Vernon, 111.
Is acknowledged bv all classes of neonle te be
the best and most reliable blood puriller in the
worm. April.
VEGETINE
Prepared
H. R. STEVENS, Boston, Mass.
Vegetlne is Sold by all Druggists.
JyJUSSER & ALLEN
CENTRAL STORE
NEWPORT, PENN'A.
Now offer the publi
A RARE AND ELEGANT ASSORTMENT OF
DRESS GOODS
Consisting sf all shades suitable for the seasoa.
BLACK ALP AC CAS
AND
Mourning Goods
A SPECIALITY.
BLEACHED AND UNBLEACHED
MUSLINS,
AT VARIOUS PRICES.
AN ENDLESS SELECTION OF PRINTS!
We sell and do keep a good quality of
SUGARS, COFFEES & SYRUPS,
And everything under the bead of
GROCERIES!
Machine needles aud oil for all makes of
Machines.
To be conviuced that our goods are
CHEAP AS THE CHEAPEST,
IS TO CALL AND EXAMINE STOCK.
f No trouble to show goods.
Don't forget the
CENTRAL STORE,
Newport, Perry County, Pa.