Fi TT TL des Ly fo oa FR ¥ RRR SS i ® : 3 3 8 5 Volume 75, No, 23, June 11, 1975 John Day’s thoughts about fathers With Father's Day ap- proaching, the Bulletin started looking around for some examples of good fathers. We decided that a good person to talk to would be John D. Day HI, who along with Lily E. Grimm, is guidance counsellor at Don- egal High School. It is the business of Mr. Day to know the personalities of his students, and in knowing them, he also learns a lot about their fathers too. Mr. Day found our re- quest about good fathers a large order. ‘‘There are so many good fathers, I would- n’t know where to begin.’ But he did begin. “lI think of so many people. John Hendricks, Dick Hurst, Joe Koover, Frank Koover, ‘Toby’ My- ron Weber, Bob Divet, Bill Dommell, George McCue, Jack Bennett.” Mr. Day paused for breath and recollection. ‘Pastor Koder, Gerald Wilson (Senior and Junior), Les Hostetter, Johnny Mil- ler, Gerry Miller, Elwood Rice, Eugene Brown, ‘But- terball’ Zeller, Don Rineer, Ken Depoe. . . (At this point the Bulletin’s scrawling pencil could no longer keep up with Day’s fast recollec- tion of good fathers.) “There are so many good fathers, I couldn’t begin to mention them all.”’ Mr. Day has been in the Donegal schools for some time, having taught at the Mount Joy High School . before there was a Donegal High School. A lot of the good fathers of kids now in high school, he knew when they were kids in high school. Good fathers today were for the most part good kids who had good fathers before them. Mr. Day calls these students his ‘‘kids’ kids.’ “Success breeds success. Failure breeds failure.”’ The Bulletin had thought it might interview a few good fathers and find out first-hand what a good « father was like, but listening to Mr. Day we decided that the task would be stagger- ing. Mr. Day went on talking about good fathers. He pointed out that many times men act in place of real fathers and do a splendid job. He remembers step- fathers who were called “Daddy.” He also noted that many men, teachers and coaches play a needed role of father in school. Mr. Day fondly remembers ‘‘Pop’’ Staley, who was once a rival baseball coach at Maytown when Mr. Day coached the Mount Joy team, but who later came to Donegal to coach there. ‘“‘Pop’’ Staley was the only coach Mr. Day remembers whom his play- ers just naturally called **Pop.”’ In his work as guidance counsellor, Mr. Day acts like a father, tries ‘“‘to counsel every kid as if he were my own. I can’t make decisions for them. Our job is primarily to do exactly what our title says — give them guidance. “I don’t care what the problem is. When they come to me with a problem, I close that door. What they say ‘inside this office, 1 don’t take notes on it, I try to remember it. It’s nobody else’s business except theirs and mine.”’ Sadly, not all kids have good fathers. Some fathers don’t seem to love their kids. Some fathers would be ashamed to tell their sons that they ““love’’ them; they feel that it would be feminine of them to tell their Kain . ( ~ £ - :: A ¢ QD yderp R. 5. a k aunt Joy, Pa. Susquehanna Times & The Mount Joy Bulletin MARIETTA & MOUNT JOY, PA. sons that they love them. Mr. Day believes that if a father loves his son he ought to tell him so. Some boys want to hear that more than anything. Day observed that especi- ally around here it is customary for some fathers to spend only one week out of a year with their sons That is a week of hunting or fishing that father and son spend together. Although some educators may differ with him, it is Day’s opinion that ‘‘the kid gets more on those days than if he were in school. . . even if the boy acts only as bird dog to flush the pheasants out.” = an Some fathers expect too much of their sons, some- times more than the sons are capable of. One reason for these too high expecta- tions is the ego of the father. The father wants the son to realize an ambition of the father which the father himself could not realize. “A father likes to see his son first in his class — but can he still accept his son when he is last? “A good father accepts graciously and gives credit. If his son is first or last, if the boy tried his best — that’s what counts. I'd rather recommend a boy who has all D’s and worked to get those D’s, than a boy with all A’s because he was endowed with ability and not because he worked for the A’s. - : “If you're going to take credit for your son’s good deeds, you must also take responsibility for his mis- takes. We forget the mistakes we made. Remem- bering our own mistakes can temper our judgment in regard to our children’s mistakes. ‘‘As a teacher, when a kid didn’t pass I ask myself, was there something I didn’t do?” Allen Steudler and Paul Gottschall Local Big Brothers play roles of fathers Bob Eshleman and Donny Miles | ' someone removed it over § the winter. Ten Cents There is an organization called the Big Brothers, the function of which is to provide father substitutes for boys who otherwise lack an adequate man to identify with. Most psychologists agree that especially be- tween the ages of five and the teens boys especially need a man to be close to, to do things with, to love and be loved by. Big Brothers try to fill that need for their little brothers. Big Brothers are one ot the best examples of the fact that a father is not necessa- rily a biological sire. Fatherhood, Big Brothers demonstrate, are men who care for and about children. The Bulletin visisted se- veral local Big Brothers while they were spending time with their Little Bro- thers. We called first on Claude Jacobs, who was playing a game of ‘‘Candy Land’’ on the floor of his living room with his Little Brother, Michael Costello. “‘I beat him every time,’ said Little Brother Michael. ‘I don’t know about that,”” said Big Brother Claude. Michael and Claude have made trips together to Wasington, D. C., Hershey, Gettysburg, North Museum, ‘all kinds of stores,’’ football and basketball games, Long’s Park, the library, etc. Next we went to see Big Brother Bob Eshleman and his Little Brother Donny Miles at work on their rustic table in the woods near a : creek, where they will have ‘outdoor cookouts . They had built a table at the same spot last fall, but Last Big and Little Bro- ther visited were Paul i Gottschall and Allen Steud- ler. They were in Paul's backyard looking over Paul’s 350 Honda, which will take them on an excursion to World's End and Eagle's Mere in a couple weeks. Paul became a big brother at the suggestion of Bob Spangler, when Paul told Bob he wished he had a kid to take to the Farm Show in Harrisburg. (Paul’s two sons are grown, one almost married.) SUSQUEHANNA BULLETIN
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