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Volume 75, No, 23, June 11, 1975
John Day’s thoughts about fathers
With Father's Day ap-
proaching, the Bulletin
started looking around for
some examples of good
fathers.
We decided that a good
person to talk to would be
John D. Day HI, who
along with Lily E. Grimm, is
guidance counsellor at Don-
egal High School. It is the
business of Mr. Day to know
the personalities of his
students, and in knowing
them, he also learns a lot
about their fathers too.
Mr. Day found our re-
quest about good fathers a
large order. ‘‘There are so
many good fathers, I would-
n’t know where to begin.’
But he did begin.
“lI think of so many
people. John Hendricks,
Dick Hurst, Joe Koover,
Frank Koover, ‘Toby’ My-
ron Weber, Bob Divet, Bill
Dommell, George McCue,
Jack Bennett.” Mr. Day
paused for breath and
recollection.
‘Pastor Koder, Gerald
Wilson (Senior and Junior),
Les Hostetter, Johnny Mil-
ler, Gerry Miller, Elwood
Rice, Eugene Brown, ‘But-
terball’ Zeller, Don Rineer,
Ken Depoe. . . (At this point
the Bulletin’s scrawling
pencil could no longer keep
up with Day’s fast recollec-
tion of good fathers.)
“There are so many good
fathers, I couldn’t begin to
mention them all.”’
Mr. Day has been in the
Donegal schools for some
time, having taught at the
Mount Joy High School .
before there was a Donegal
High School. A lot of the
good fathers of kids now in
high school, he knew when
they were kids in high
school. Good fathers today
were for the most part good
kids who had good fathers
before them.
Mr. Day calls these
students his ‘‘kids’ kids.’
“Success breeds success.
Failure breeds failure.”’
The Bulletin had thought
it might interview a few
good fathers and find out
first-hand what a good
« father was like, but listening
to Mr. Day we decided that
the task would be stagger-
ing.
Mr. Day went on talking
about good fathers. He
pointed out that many times
men act in place of real
fathers and do a splendid
job. He remembers step-
fathers who were called
“Daddy.”
He also noted that many
men, teachers and coaches
play a needed role of father
in school. Mr. Day fondly
remembers ‘‘Pop’’ Staley,
who was once a rival
baseball coach at Maytown
when Mr. Day coached the
Mount Joy team, but who
later came to Donegal to
coach there. ‘“‘Pop’’ Staley
was the only coach Mr. Day
remembers whom his play-
ers just naturally called
**Pop.”’
In his work as guidance
counsellor, Mr. Day acts like
a father, tries ‘“‘to counsel
every kid as if he were my
own. I can’t make decisions
for them. Our job is
primarily to do exactly what
our title says — give them
guidance.
“I don’t care what the
problem is. When they come
to me with a problem, I close
that door. What they say
‘inside this office, 1 don’t
take notes on it, I try to
remember it. It’s nobody
else’s business except theirs
and mine.”’
Sadly, not all kids have
good fathers. Some fathers
don’t seem to love their
kids. Some fathers would be
ashamed to tell their sons
that they ““love’’ them; they
feel that it would be
feminine of them to tell their
Kain . ( ~ £
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R. 5. a
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Susquehanna Times & The Mount Joy Bulletin
MARIETTA & MOUNT JOY, PA.
sons that they love them.
Mr. Day believes that if a
father loves his son he ought
to tell him so. Some boys
want to hear that more than
anything.
Day observed that especi-
ally around here it is
customary for some fathers
to spend only one week out
of a year with their sons
That is a week of hunting
or fishing that father and
son spend together.
Although some educators
may differ with him, it is
Day’s opinion that ‘‘the kid
gets more on those days
than if he were in school. . .
even if the boy acts only as
bird dog to flush the
pheasants out.”
= an
Some fathers expect too
much of their sons, some-
times more than the sons
are capable of. One reason
for these too high expecta-
tions is the ego of the father.
The father wants the son to
realize an ambition of the
father which the father
himself could not realize.
“A father likes to see his
son first in his class — but
can he still accept his son
when he is last?
“A good father accepts
graciously and gives credit.
If his son is first or last, if
the boy tried his best —
that’s what counts. I'd
rather recommend a boy
who has all D’s and worked
to get those D’s, than a boy
with all A’s because he was
endowed with ability and
not because he worked for
the A’s. - :
“If you're going to take
credit for your son’s good
deeds, you must also take
responsibility for his mis-
takes. We forget the
mistakes we made. Remem-
bering our own mistakes can
temper our judgment in
regard to our children’s
mistakes.
‘‘As a teacher, when a kid
didn’t pass I ask myself, was
there something I didn’t
do?”
Allen Steudler and Paul Gottschall
Local Big Brothers
play roles of fathers
Bob Eshleman and Donny Miles
|
' someone removed it over
§ the winter.
Ten Cents
There is an organization
called the Big Brothers, the
function of which is to
provide father substitutes
for boys who otherwise lack
an adequate man to identify
with. Most psychologists
agree that especially be-
tween the ages of five and
the teens boys especially
need a man to be close to,
to do things with, to love
and be loved by.
Big Brothers try to fill that
need for their little brothers.
Big Brothers are one ot
the best examples of the fact
that a father is not necessa-
rily a biological sire.
Fatherhood, Big Brothers
demonstrate, are men who
care for and about children.
The Bulletin visisted se-
veral local Big Brothers
while they were spending
time with their Little Bro-
thers.
We called first on Claude
Jacobs, who was playing a
game of ‘‘Candy Land’’ on
the floor of his living room
with his Little Brother,
Michael Costello.
“‘I beat him every time,’
said Little Brother Michael.
‘I don’t know about
that,”” said Big Brother
Claude.
Michael and Claude have
made trips together to
Wasington, D. C., Hershey,
Gettysburg, North Museum,
‘all kinds of stores,’’
football and basketball
games, Long’s Park, the
library, etc.
Next we went to see Big
Brother Bob Eshleman and
his Little Brother Donny
Miles at work on their rustic
table in the woods near a
: creek, where they will have
‘outdoor cookouts .
They had built a table at
the same spot last fall, but
Last Big and Little Bro-
ther visited were Paul
i Gottschall and Allen Steud-
ler.
They were in Paul's
backyard looking over
Paul’s 350 Honda, which
will take them on an
excursion to World's End
and Eagle's Mere in a
couple weeks.
Paul became a big brother
at the suggestion of Bob
Spangler, when Paul told
Bob he wished he had a kid
to take to the Farm Show in
Harrisburg. (Paul’s two
sons are grown, one almost
married.)
SUSQUEHANNA BULLETIN