T5833 HOWE EVI ASTER CERT REISER TEs i i i i REE ER i SR NR 4 PAGE FOUR =. OWL ) | - — — ca — ST am amr A WISE OWL Well, here it is, 1936, a new year, a new leaf and a flock of new reso- lutions all busted: Why not? After all, what fun is there in making them if you don’t intend to break them? I know a lot of fellows that wake up about noon January 1st feeling like “old man 1935” had hit them with all he had (that looked like bottles). It wasn't the outside of the bottle that made ’em feel that way tho’, it was the contents. But heigh-de-ho, boys, we only wel- come little Happy New year once every 365 days so it’s worth it. Remember, fellows, this is LEAP YEAR. Look out for all those Leap- in’ Lenas, cause when these femmes made up their mind to get a man, it's we poor guys who have to suf- fer. But won’t it be a grand and glorious feeling when we go out for the night and she pays all the checks? And while we sit back and relax, they'll have to do all the love making. Hot dog! On January 1st, about 3 A. M. a fellow on Barbara Street overheard this conversation: The first inebri- ate (souse, to those guys who don’t study their Webster) complained: “Shay, quit following me.” The cecond drunk apologized: “I can’t. I'm goin’ shame plashe you are.” First asked: “Where?” Second said: ‘I dunno! Thash why I'm youl One place is as good as another when you're in that condi- tion. If you don’t believe me, ask the gay who overheard that con- versation. followin’ Don't let him know Itold you but the only reason he heard it was because he was sitting next to those fellows...... in the gutter, A man from near town, recently completed a trip to the west coast. | He tells of a very snappy retort he | heard while attending a rodeo. A cute little Spanish entertainer walked up to a six foot handsome cowboy, and hoping to start a con- versation she said: “Hello, big boy, | your sombrero is pretty well shot.” Not interested in this little bundle of feminine trickery, the snapped: “So’s your old mantilla” aaa Ah! Why don’t you be nice, cowboy Heré's a conversation today and in the ‘days of Miles Sandish. Today: The'yegg shouts: “Where's that ‘copper’ I just shot? “The frighten- | ed pedestrian answers: “Just | around’ the corner, follow the ma- | chine ‘gun holes.” But lin the days Miles Priscila it was like this: and | of The, Indan bellows: “Where's that | Club was settler just shot?” The American answers “Right there—just follow" the arrow.” over Did you, by any chance, that certain West Main street lady who bordered a bus for Lancaster re- cently, and when she got there, covered, to her annoyance that in the rush to make the bus, she had put on two very different colored hose?....And was her red? Tsh! Tsh! see dis- face Saturday night Fred said to Levi: “Say, ‘your glasses are dirty:” Levi, appreciatively answered: “Thanks. My eyes are bad and I couldn’t see 2... .“ Helpful, eh what? A very persistent agent had pes- tered Dan Brubaker continuously for almost a week. Finally Dan grew impatient (that can happen) and said to the seller: “Let's play the game called Building and Loan?” “How do you play it?” ask- ed the agent. Dan replied: “Get out of this building and leave me alone”. ..... Smart fellow. A pinochle enthusiast, Edgar Ha- genberger, remarked: Anyone can play bridge, but it takes a cannibal to throw up a hand!”....yowzah! A Coltimbia restaurant displays this sign: “Don’t Divorce your wife guests 1 K can't cook—Eat Here and Keep Her for a Pet.” because che Here's a little poem I picked out of the ether waves (radio, to you): The fireman are very brave They rush into the fire. They wear red flannel underwear No wonder they perspire. Pretty hot, if I must say so my- self, When a woman nowadays begins to look younger than her daugh- ter, it is a sure sign that she is old. Two old cinics from town were having a heated discussion. One asked: “What's your opinion of civilization?” The other answered: “It's a good idea. Somebody ought to start it.”....Not a bad idea. And now I'm going to tell, you which I sincerely hope I'm something won't cause any hard feelings. quite sure the people concerned can “take it.” Am I right? Anyway— MA Arm It was December 31, 1935 and fast approaching midnight and the new year, A handsome lad was sitting on a davenport beside “the girl friend” (who lives on Donegal Springs Road. They were listening to thé New Year's eve radio pro- grams. At midnight, just as the horns started to blow and the bands i to play, the young man jumped up, | threw his arms about the girl and | hugging her in a big “bear bug” he jubilantly danced her wishing her a Happy New Year. Everything was “hunky-dory” the girl, the boy, the time, the place... ..and the hug. around, went to she had The next day, the girl, see a physician because some unusual aches. Her physician told her she had several cracked ribs... What a hug! What a man! Choice motto for look and listen in. gossips: Stop, A WISE OWL BAINBRIDGE Mr. and Mrs. Gene Gutshall have moved to a farm in Perry County. Miss Helen Gutshall, of Lititz, guest of Mr. and Mrs. Cleve- land Gutshall. Ray Brandt, of Branchville, N. J. is guest of his parents, Mr. and Mrs. Harry Brandt. Mr. and Mrs. Elwood Smith have vacated one of the Baker properties and moved to Elizabethtown. Mr. and Mrs. Cecil Fry and son, Jerry, of lizabethtown, were guests of Mr. and Mrs. Christian | Groff. Mr. and Mrs. Albert Hawthorne have moved from am Morgen- thal property, to home owned, by Junior Mechanics Lodge. Members, of Active Workers’ Bi- | ble of St. Luke Lutheran I church, held their monthly meet- ing Thursday evening, at home of Mrs. N. R. Hoffma.. Mr. and Mrs. H. P. McNelley, entertained at a turkey dinner, Commodore, H. B. West, of Wash- ington, D. C., and Seattle, Wash- ington and Mr. and Mrs. Harry Good of town. Miss Jane Hawthorne of town and Mr. Calvin Mackley of Har- risburg, and Mrs. Rosa Sauter of Conshohocken, Pa. were dinner of Mr. and Mrs. Joseph Sauter at Elizabethtown. Monthly meeting of H. G. L: held on Friday evening in I. O. O. F. Lodge Hall, Mrs. Ro- land Reisinger, president of the club, presiding. Gameés were play- ed and refreshments served. | The following officers were el- | ected in St. Luke's Lutheran Sun- | day school Supt. Claude Bachman; | assictant, Frank Libhart; Secretary, | Harrison. Gingrich; assistant, Cliff- {ord Adams; treasurer, Mildred Ely; | pianist, Margaretta Mohr; assis- | tant pianist, Betty Wittman; li- | brarians, Gordon Geistwite, Billy | Leib, Henry Horner and James Mohr. rr Gf niin An enthusiastic angler took his friend fishing. The friend knew nothing about the gentle art and the experienced oné had to give him all the necessary tackle. The angler started fishing a few yards upstream. Presently the novice said: “How much do those green things cost?” “You mean the float? Oh—I guess about a dime.” “Well,” said the novice, “I owe you a dime—mine has sunk.” ei © er 1s Class, red and A youngster in our grade school was asked: “What is a synonym?” He quickly answered: “A word you use when you can’t spell the other one.” os a — Advertise in The Bulletin. THE MOUNT JOY BULLETIN, MOUNT JOY, LANCASTER CO., PA. HOLDING HANDS! By THE LITTLE ENGINEER HAT headline doesn’t mean hold: ing hands with a gal while you're driving. That's out! It means the proper position of your hands on the steering wheel. Did you ever give that a thought? You can generally spot a new motorist. He clutches the wheel tightly on both sides with arms extended rigidly, teeth gritted, ev- ery nerve taut. All wrong. Gradual- ly he'll get over it and acquire more relaxed and less enervating wheel-holding habits. And these may be wrong, too. Some motorists steer with one hand, sometimes with one finger. Despite the marvelous steering me- chanisms of the new cars this is a direct invitation to serious trou- ble. So is the widely adopted prac- tice of driving with the left elbow sticking out the window or rest- ing on the window sill. Both habits give too little and too slow control of the steering in emergencies. Experts usually hold the hands in a position similar to the hands on a clock when it is twenty min- utes past ten as the most advan- tageous for comfort and perfect control. Position of feet is also important. Flat on the floor is best after you've thoroughly learned where the brake and clutch pedals are and can manipulate them instantly. Don’t “ride” either clutch or brake. It produces dangerous and costly wear. . Elizabethtown Prize Winners at the Women of the Moose Card Party Eugene Boggs of Millsboro, Dele- ware, is visiting relatives in this Borough. Mr. and Mrs. Harvey Tennis, of Mount Joy, visited friends in this borough Sunday. I. A. Shiffer and family have moved into the Ulrich house on North Poplar Street. Christ Rutt has discontinued his ¥reen grocery business to accept a position at the Klein Chocolate Co. Mr. and Mrs. Morris Fitzgerald of Harrisburg were the guests of Mr. and Mrs. Benjamin Singer on Cunday. Dr. Harry Good, of Womels- dorf, was the guest of his mother, on North Poplar Street, this bor- ough, on Sunday. James and Warren Bishop, of this borough, returnéd home Sat- urday after spending a week with relatives in Norristown. Ira K. Newcomer and family re- turned recently from an automo- bile trip to Florida where they spent the holiday season. James Seiders son of Mr. and Mrs. Harvey Seiders, residing on Washington St, who has been seriously ill is improving. Mr. and Mrs. E. G. Kuhn and Mrs. Hénry Weidman of this boro., were the guests of Henry Weid- man, Jr, and family at Hershey on Sunday. The Démocratic Card Party held in the Fire Engine House’ on Fri- day was very well attended. Val- uablé prizes were awarded to the successful contestants. A Christmas treé caught fire at the home of Paul Kckinger on Park street on Monday evening. Friendship Fire Compny responded to the alarm and extinguished: the blaze before much damage was done. The Newville Union church ren- dered the following program on Sunday evening: recitation, John E. Lebo, Jr; invocation Samuel Brubaker; recitation, Helen Bro- sey; reading, Racheal Bashore. The subject “How to keep on the Up- gradé” was discussed by Harold Martin, Harold Peiffer. The ser- vices were in charge of Joh E. Lebo. The prize winners at the card party held by the Women of the Moose at the home of Mrs. Sadie Ellinger, Tuesday were: Pinocle, Hayman Cunningham, Jr., Ed. Heil- man, Elsie Stauffer; Fan Tan: Har- ry. Brandt, Roy Raber: Door prize, Ed Heilman. The next card party will be held on Tuedsay evening, January 7, at the home of Mr. and Mrs. Morris Ream, Newville. The Conewago Squadron Post No. 329 Sons of American Legion el ected the following officers: Cap- ‘tain, Robert Keller; First ant, Luther Dresher; Second Lieu- tenant, Robert Seibert; Adjutant, ford Drescher; Chaplain, Robert Ulrich; Sergeant At Arms, Lee Executive committee, Ed- ward Miller, Jr. Kenneth Frey, wide.” daily paper: ‘James Miller; Finance Officer, Clif- | RRO uy 1p 5 MAYTOWN Community Chorus Sang “Star of Bethlehem Sunday” The Community Chorus compos- ed of 20 people of Marietta and Maytown, under thé direction of Harry U. E. Horn, sang the can- tata “Star of Bethlehem” in the Maytown Church of God, Sunday evening. Mrs. John McClure, of Maytown, is’ visiting in New Castle, Pa. Miss Helen Keiser, of Maytown, a student at Millersville State Teachers’ College will resume her studies Monday. Mr. and Mrs. William Baker, of Dayton, Ohio, who are visiting at Lititz, the guests of Mr. and Mrs. John Hershey, spent several days af Rowenna, the guests of Mrs. Fannie E. Gish. The Sunshine Bible class of Re- formed church met Tuesday atthe home of Miss Helen Hollenbaugh. Those present were: Mrs. Hiram Mayer, Mrs. Edgar Mayer, Mrs. Ray Fryberger, Mrs. Arthur D. Knobel, Mrs. Harold Endslow, Rachael Mayer, Anna Albright, Lillian Sload, Grace Henderson, Ethel Culp and Helen Hollenbaugh. Miss Hollenbaugh is a student at Catawba college. At the meeting of the O. N. A. M., officers were elected as fol- lows: Councilor, George Sload; vice councilor, Harry Heisey; re- cording secretary, William Glatt- acker; financial secretary, Harold Glattacker; treasurer, George Drau; senior ex councilor, Isaac Carpen- ter; Junior ex councilor, Irvin Nei- nan; Inductor, Samuel Johnson; Examiner, Hiram Engle; trustee, Irvin Neiman; representative to state council, Samuel Johnston; Proxy, Hiram Engle. ree etl Ie. GLOOM CHASERS The following advertisements ap- BELIEVE IT OR NOT “Grandma” Ary, 89, of Lawrence, Kansas, says women sissies who smoke cigarettes—and prove it, pulls away on one of her favorite-make cheroots. Despite her age, she reads without glasses, likes wild west stories and pinochle, and recently went on a coon hunt at night. She reared 10 children. A Gri “YES"—A FORGOTTEN WORD are Years ago it was a very common thing to hear the word “yes” in conversation. With the passage of time, however, that refined vocable has become almost as extinct as the dod bird or the three-toed megaso~ pholus, if not the giasticutus—that hybrid animal which has its legs longer on one side than the other because of its long-time habit of feeding on sidehills. Today, alas, the nearest thing in sound to the original affirmative are such things as “yeh,” “yep,” “puy,” “ye-up,” or “yippy.” Other current synonyms are “um-hoom,” uh- huh,” ete. Also a flock of affirmative expressions have been created to take the place of the simple “yes”— such as “You said it,” “Ain't it the truth?” “You said a mouthful,” “You're telling me!” etc. In recent years smart fellows have resented . being classed as “yesmen.” Don’t Wake Up Nights This 25c. Quick {best Free If it fails” to Musk oat” ‘waste and excess acids which eausé” bladder ir- regularity. Take buchu leaves, junin- er oil, etc., in little green tablets cal- led BUKETS. Works on the bladder similar to castor oil on the bowels. Poorly acting bladder can cause scan- ty flow, frequent desire, burning or backache. In four days if not pleased any druggist will refund your 2c. E. W. GARBER, Druggist. peared in various papers some years ago: “Bulldog for sale; will eat any- thing; very gond of children.” “Wanted, a boy to be partly out- side and partly behind the counter.” “Widow in comfortable circum- stances wishes to marry two sons.” “Animal sale now on; don’t go elsewhere to be cheated; come here.” “A lady wants to sell her piano as she is going abroad i na strong, iron frame.” “Wanted an airy bedromm for a gentléeman 22 feet long and 11 feet Recently this line appeared in a “A carload of bricks came in for a walk through the Park.” I COULD NOT DO HER WH EN every- 2 thing you at- tempt is a burden —when you are nervous and irri- table—at your wit’s end—tr this medicine. It may be just what you need for extra energy. Mrs. Charles L. Cadmus of Trenton, New Jersey, says, “After doing just a little work I had to lie down. My mother-in-law recom- mended the Vegetable Compound. 1 can see a wonderful change now.” AEN AT VE A YTB TEE TET to | WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 8th, 1930 sr sist Perhaps that is why so many ways have been found to avoid saying the fatal word “yes.” Girls will say it— at the right time and right place and to the right fellow—but even they have invented all sorts of cute little tricks for expressing the idea without actually using the word And so, “yes” may appear before long in the dictionaries with the explanation “obsolete” or ‘“‘archaic” after it. and Trust HERE’S HO <5 10 Club Club Club Club Club Club Club Club Club Pays. ........ <A 25 Pays, D0 1.00 2.00 3.00 $ 4.00 $ 5.00 $10.00 Pays... Rags... Pays, o* Paws, ........ Bags........ Paye......... Pays. ........ Our Club Offers an Easy Plan to & TRUST A native of California was visit- | ing here in Lancaster county. He | remarked: “What I can't make out is why you Easterners are willing to keep living in a section with all that cold ” Our Lan- caster Countian explained: “It is | and snow. because we handle the coal shovel | and our hands are nicely calloused to snow shovel all winter that run the lawn mower all summer.” FARRER ARREARS EAR REAR ERR The Christmas J OIN Savings Club at the First National Bank Simply select the amotint you desire to deposit weekly, bring it to the bank, make your first deposit, then deposit this amount the first of each week as per table below. THE CLUB RU Join One or More of the Following Classes YOU CAN JOIN NOW ® FIRST NATIONAL BANK MOUNT JOY, PA. Member of Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation dec.d-Kt A RRR TE FETE TE TE TE TRIE TET ITE TL TE TE IE OE TE FETED » > Company W TO JOIN NS 50 WEEKS $ 5.00 Rie $ 12.50 wh Nai $ 25.00 lek an) $ 50.00 ii A via $100.00 -$150.00 $200.00 - $260.00 .$500.00 Provide Money for any Purpose 5 PS TF PE ETA Ree eT SERS SUF RT REESE REN RE RENEE RE ne i: S | COMPANY Say it with flowers, Say it with sweets, Say it with kisses, Say it with eats. Say it with jewelry Say it with drink But always be careful NOT to say it with ink! and Richard Maxwell; Historian, Kenneth Frey. HEN lordly saddles of venison appeared on the table in the spacious days of our grandfathers — a spiced . grape jelly was so often served along with the roast, that it came to be known as venison jelly. It is no trouble at all to make —with bottled grape juice and fruit pectin. Lack: ing venison, you will find it ex- cellent to serve with lamb, mutton, pork chops, or roast: . _ Venison Jelly 4 cups (13 Ibs.) sugar; 2 cups (1 1b.) bottled grape juice; 14 cup apple vinegar; '2 teaspoon cloves; 1 teaspoon cinnamon; _% bottle fruit pectin. : Measure sugar, grape juice, vine: gar, and spices into 3-quart sauce- pan and mix. (Any desired com- bination’ of spices may be used.) Bring to a boil over hottest fire and at once add bottled fruit pec. tin, stirring constantly. Then bring to a full rolling boil and boil hard 12 minute. Remove from fire, skim, pour quickly. Parafin hot jelly at once. MaKes about 5 glasses (6 fluid ounces 4 WHAT ARE Nov 7 RiroS Doin IN THERE 2 FRAMIN' SOME SIGNALS ? | | SHALL |. DEAL You IN 2 . SPEAK QU\CY. “THINK, LL MERBE THEY'VE GOT A LiL HooOCH our THERE - 7 [THAT LITTLE CAME?’ mternatiCertomco., 5.Y-By B. Link NEARS AN' NEARS — HE'S ALL RIGHT.» LAST STACK WITH, — =~ cfs ,— 7% AW, WE WNOWN HIM FoR DONT WORRY AROUT. THAT CHECK. HE BOUGHT. HIS T'S AS GOOD AS GOLD! I'D CASH \T BUT I'M BROKE,” A To ASK HIM TO, WRITE ME ONE SO \ CAN BUY o—== NIX? NIX YE - DONT RING \N ANY MORE OF ‘EMe \ WONT ACCEPT vy — | VA BANRER =, | WHAT AM | GOWN =o DO wW\TH THE ONE) HAVE 2 : : | WANT YY, 'M STUCK with so LAY OFF 7// / +X | —with all our © KRALL’S Crushed GET MAD iF YOU MUST ba a i DON'T BLAME THE WELDER If you neglect getting your repairs done until the minm™® you need | them, : mie Pause a moment—then remember ntodern equipment it still requires some time to do ev- ery job. Help us give you BETTER SERVICE by bringing your needed repairs in early. ? We Specialize ih ELECTRIC and ACETYLENE WELDING, AUTO STEERING & SPRING TROUBLE, HARD SURFACING parts subject to excessive wed, GENERAL BLACKSMITHING and REPAIR- ING. “ R. U. Trimble ELIZABETHTOWN; PA, FROZEN WATER PIPES: thawed quickly, safely and at modegate cost with electric. dec.11-tf Sk For Clean, Well-Graded Crushed Stone At a Low Price CALL John A. Hipple | Mt. Joy 86 or E'town 66R4 sep.11-tf WE HAVE..... QUALITY MEATS MEAT MARKET West Main St., Mt. Joy NN EXAMINED < == DR. HUBER OPTOMETRIST 220 X. DUKE SF. LANCASTER, PA toApril 1st'36 GLASSES "FITTED “Il, E. ROBERTS NOTARY PUBLIC Specializing on Atitoitles, Licenses and Operators Lenses Marietta St. and ii 25 E. Main St. MT. JOY, PA. Buin O LONE Before plaging your order elsewhere see us. Also manufacturers of a CONCRETE BLOCKS SILLS and TANTELS J.N.STAUFFER<BRO MOUNT JOY, PA. HOW ARE YOUR SHOES? TOO LONG BRINGBHEM IN CITY 8S REPAIRING 30 SOUTH QUEEN STREET ™~ LANCASTER, PENNA. Turn useless articles about your home into cash. Advertise them in our classified column. ( FEEL HAPPY 2 THIS MORNING FELT SO ¢oop 10 (FOR. THREE ™MinyTES * — mn se a.) 70 YOU KNOW WHY --- Drawn for this paper By Fisher Coming Events ge Gast Their Shadows Be fore ? ~~ [Fart (TiS INTERNATIONAL CARTOON CO, K.Y, ~— MeRey! i 2 I FREDERIC IC, \n a 1S AV 4 | NEL THE MATTER? — < i in ih WEDN TC Se 1 ¢ MAYT( FIE ALS LEAD SLAT SEC Team: Rothsvi Fast He Maytow Mariette Paradise Maytc through One, o Basketb Before defeated 30 to 1 It was visitors Mumper guns fo Maytow G. Mun Shue, F Shenk, Hoffmar Shank, Totals E. Hem; Dietrich, Reist, F Markley Shellenk Long, C Poff, G Clemson Totals Score ..MAYT E. HE Refere er, Heng time of Maytowr Sherrech Demmy, Reber, 1 Kendig, Andersor Wetzel, Stauffer, Houseal, Totals E. Hem; Ernst, F Mease, 1 Kauffmas Chellenb: Reist, G Thomas, Rineer, Gochen'r Totals Score | MAYT! E. HE Referee er, Hend time of SP TI ~ Anderson Herr Stein Mateer M. Good Derr Totals Carpentecl Stucky Speece Lingle M. Frye Miller Totals High Triple, Si Hogentogl F. Good Anderson Herr M. Good Derr Totals
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