T5833
HOWE EVI
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PAGE FOUR
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A WISE OWL
Well, here it is, 1936, a new year,
a new leaf and a flock of new reso-
lutions all busted: Why not? After
all, what fun is there in making
them if you don’t intend to break
them? I know a lot of fellows that
wake up about noon January 1st
feeling like “old man 1935” had hit
them with all he had (that looked
like bottles). It wasn't the outside
of the bottle that made ’em feel that
way tho’, it was the contents. But
heigh-de-ho, boys, we only wel-
come little Happy New year once
every 365 days so it’s worth it.
Remember, fellows, this is LEAP
YEAR. Look out for all those Leap-
in’ Lenas, cause when these femmes
made up their mind to get a man,
it's we poor guys who have to suf-
fer. But won’t it be a grand and
glorious feeling when we go out for
the night and she pays all the
checks? And while we sit back and
relax, they'll have to do all the love
making. Hot dog!
On January 1st, about 3 A. M. a
fellow on Barbara Street overheard
this conversation: The first inebri-
ate (souse, to those guys who don’t
study their Webster) complained:
“Shay, quit following me.” The
cecond drunk apologized: “I can’t.
I'm goin’ shame plashe you are.”
First asked: “Where?” Second said:
‘I dunno! Thash why I'm
youl One place is as good as
another when you're in that condi-
tion. If you don’t believe me, ask
the gay who overheard that con-
versation.
followin’
Don't let him know Itold you but
the only reason he heard it was
because he was sitting next to those
fellows...... in the gutter,
A man from near town, recently
completed a trip to the west coast. |
He tells of a very snappy retort he |
heard while attending a rodeo. A
cute little Spanish entertainer
walked up to a six foot handsome
cowboy, and hoping to start a con-
versation she said: “Hello, big boy, |
your sombrero is pretty well shot.”
Not interested in this little bundle
of feminine trickery, the
snapped: “So’s your old mantilla”
aaa Ah! Why don’t you be nice,
cowboy
Heré's a conversation today and
in the ‘days of Miles Sandish.
Today:
The'yegg shouts: “Where's that
‘copper’ I just shot? “The frighten- |
ed pedestrian answers: “Just |
around’ the corner, follow the ma- |
chine ‘gun holes.”
But lin the days Miles
Priscila it was like this:
and |
of
The, Indan bellows: “Where's that | Club was
settler just shot?” The American
answers “Right there—just
follow" the arrow.”
over
Did you, by any chance, that
certain West Main street lady who
bordered a bus for Lancaster re-
cently, and when she got there,
covered, to her annoyance that in
the rush to make the bus, she had
put on two very different colored
hose?....And was her red?
Tsh! Tsh!
see
dis-
face
Saturday night Fred said to Levi:
“Say, ‘your glasses are dirty:” Levi,
appreciatively answered: “Thanks.
My eyes are bad and I couldn’t see
2... .“ Helpful, eh what?
A very persistent agent had pes-
tered Dan Brubaker continuously
for almost a week. Finally Dan
grew impatient (that can happen)
and said to the seller: “Let's play
the game called Building and
Loan?” “How do you play it?” ask-
ed the agent. Dan replied: “Get
out of this building and leave me
alone”. ..... Smart fellow.
A pinochle enthusiast, Edgar Ha-
genberger, remarked: Anyone can
play bridge, but it takes a cannibal
to throw up a hand!”....yowzah!
A Coltimbia restaurant displays
this sign: “Don’t Divorce your wife
guests
1
K
can't cook—Eat Here
and Keep Her for a Pet.”
because che
Here's a little poem I picked out
of the ether waves (radio, to you):
The fireman are very brave
They rush into the fire.
They wear red flannel underwear
No wonder they perspire.
Pretty hot, if I must say so my-
self,
When a woman nowadays begins
to look younger than her daugh-
ter, it is a sure sign that she is old.
Two old cinics from town were
having a heated discussion. One
asked: “What's your opinion of
civilization?” The other answered:
“It's a good idea. Somebody ought
to start it.”....Not a bad idea.
And now I'm going to tell, you
which I sincerely hope
I'm
something
won't cause any hard feelings.
quite sure the people concerned can
“take it.” Am I right? Anyway—
MA Arm
It was December 31, 1935 and fast
approaching midnight and the new
year, A handsome lad was sitting
on a davenport beside “the girl
friend” (who lives on Donegal
Springs Road. They were listening
to thé New Year's eve radio pro-
grams. At midnight, just as the
horns started to blow and the bands
i to play, the young man jumped up,
| threw his arms about the girl and
| hugging her in a big “bear bug” he
jubilantly danced her
wishing her a Happy New Year.
Everything was “hunky-dory” the
girl, the boy, the time, the place...
..and the hug.
around,
went to
she had
The next day, the girl,
see a physician because
some unusual aches. Her physician
told her she had several cracked
ribs... What a hug! What a man!
Choice motto for
look and listen in.
gossips: Stop,
A WISE OWL
BAINBRIDGE
Mr. and Mrs. Gene Gutshall
have moved to a farm in Perry
County.
Miss Helen Gutshall, of Lititz,
guest of Mr. and Mrs. Cleve-
land Gutshall.
Ray Brandt, of Branchville, N.
J. is guest of his parents, Mr. and
Mrs. Harry Brandt.
Mr. and Mrs. Elwood Smith have
vacated one of the Baker properties
and moved to Elizabethtown.
Mr. and Mrs. Cecil Fry and son,
Jerry, of lizabethtown, were
guests of Mr. and Mrs. Christian
| Groff.
Mr. and Mrs. Albert Hawthorne
have moved from am Morgen-
thal property, to home owned, by
Junior Mechanics Lodge.
Members, of Active Workers’ Bi-
| ble of St. Luke Lutheran
I church, held their monthly meet-
ing Thursday evening, at home of
Mrs. N. R. Hoffma..
Mr. and Mrs. H. P. McNelley,
entertained at a turkey dinner,
Commodore, H. B. West, of Wash-
ington, D. C., and Seattle, Wash-
ington and Mr. and Mrs. Harry
Good of town.
Miss Jane Hawthorne of town
and Mr. Calvin Mackley of Har-
risburg, and Mrs. Rosa Sauter of
Conshohocken, Pa. were dinner
of Mr. and Mrs. Joseph
Sauter at Elizabethtown.
Monthly meeting of H. G. L:
held on Friday evening
in I. O. O. F. Lodge Hall, Mrs. Ro-
land Reisinger, president of the
club, presiding. Gameés were play-
ed and refreshments served.
| The following officers were el-
| ected in St. Luke's Lutheran Sun-
| day school Supt. Claude Bachman;
| assictant, Frank Libhart; Secretary,
| Harrison. Gingrich; assistant, Cliff-
{ord Adams; treasurer, Mildred Ely;
| pianist, Margaretta Mohr; assis-
| tant pianist, Betty Wittman; li-
| brarians, Gordon Geistwite, Billy
| Leib, Henry Horner and James
Mohr.
rr Gf niin
An enthusiastic angler took his
friend fishing. The friend knew
nothing about the gentle art and
the experienced oné had to give
him all the necessary tackle. The
angler started fishing a few yards
upstream. Presently the novice
said:
“How much do those
green things cost?”
“You mean the float? Oh—I guess
about a dime.”
“Well,” said the novice, “I owe
you a dime—mine has sunk.”
ei © er
1s
Class,
red and
A youngster in our grade school
was asked: “What is a synonym?”
He quickly answered: “A word you
use when you can’t spell the other
one.”
os a —
Advertise in The Bulletin.
THE MOUNT JOY BULLETIN, MOUNT JOY, LANCASTER CO., PA.
HOLDING
HANDS!
By THE LITTLE ENGINEER
HAT headline doesn’t mean hold:
ing hands with a gal while
you're driving. That's out! It means
the proper position of your hands
on the steering wheel. Did you
ever give that a thought?
You can generally spot a new
motorist. He clutches the wheel
tightly on both sides with arms
extended rigidly, teeth gritted, ev-
ery nerve taut. All wrong. Gradual-
ly he'll get over it and acquire
more relaxed and less enervating
wheel-holding habits. And these
may be wrong, too.
Some motorists steer with one
hand, sometimes with one finger.
Despite the marvelous steering me-
chanisms of the new cars this is
a direct invitation to serious trou-
ble. So is the widely adopted prac-
tice of driving with the left elbow
sticking out the window or rest-
ing on the window sill. Both habits
give too little and too slow control
of the steering in emergencies.
Experts usually hold the hands
in a position similar to the hands
on a clock when it is twenty min-
utes past ten as the most advan-
tageous for comfort and perfect
control.
Position of feet is also important.
Flat on the floor is best after
you've thoroughly learned where
the brake and clutch pedals are
and can manipulate them instantly.
Don’t “ride” either clutch or brake.
It produces dangerous and costly
wear. .
Elizabethtown
Prize Winners at the Women of
the Moose Card Party
Eugene Boggs of Millsboro, Dele-
ware, is visiting relatives in this
Borough.
Mr. and Mrs. Harvey Tennis, of
Mount Joy, visited friends in this
borough Sunday.
I. A. Shiffer and family have
moved into the Ulrich house on
North Poplar Street.
Christ Rutt has discontinued his
¥reen grocery business to accept a
position at the Klein Chocolate Co.
Mr. and Mrs. Morris Fitzgerald
of Harrisburg were the guests of
Mr. and Mrs. Benjamin Singer on
Cunday.
Dr. Harry Good, of Womels-
dorf, was the guest of his mother,
on North Poplar Street, this bor-
ough, on Sunday.
James and Warren Bishop, of
this borough, returnéd home Sat-
urday after spending a week with
relatives in Norristown.
Ira K. Newcomer and family re-
turned recently from an automo-
bile trip to Florida where they
spent the holiday season.
James Seiders son of Mr. and
Mrs. Harvey Seiders, residing on
Washington St, who has been
seriously ill is improving.
Mr. and Mrs. E. G. Kuhn and
Mrs. Hénry Weidman of this boro.,
were the guests of Henry Weid-
man, Jr, and family at Hershey
on Sunday.
The Démocratic Card Party held
in the Fire Engine House’ on Fri-
day was very well attended. Val-
uablé prizes were awarded to the
successful contestants.
A Christmas treé caught fire at
the home of Paul Kckinger on
Park street on Monday evening.
Friendship Fire Compny responded
to the alarm and extinguished: the
blaze before much damage was
done.
The Newville Union church ren-
dered the following program on
Sunday evening: recitation, John
E. Lebo, Jr; invocation Samuel
Brubaker; recitation, Helen Bro-
sey; reading, Racheal Bashore. The
subject “How to keep on the Up-
gradé” was discussed by Harold
Martin, Harold Peiffer. The ser-
vices were in charge of Joh E.
Lebo.
The prize winners at the card
party held by the Women of the
Moose at the home of Mrs. Sadie
Ellinger, Tuesday were: Pinocle,
Hayman Cunningham, Jr., Ed. Heil-
man, Elsie Stauffer; Fan Tan: Har-
ry. Brandt, Roy Raber: Door prize,
Ed Heilman. The next card party
will be held on Tuedsay evening,
January 7, at the home of Mr. and
Mrs. Morris Ream, Newville.
The Conewago Squadron Post No.
329 Sons of American Legion el
ected the following officers: Cap-
‘tain, Robert Keller; First
ant, Luther Dresher; Second Lieu-
tenant, Robert Seibert; Adjutant,
ford Drescher; Chaplain, Robert
Ulrich; Sergeant At Arms, Lee
Executive committee, Ed-
ward Miller, Jr. Kenneth Frey,
wide.”
daily paper:
‘James Miller; Finance Officer, Clif- |
RRO uy 1p 5
MAYTOWN
Community Chorus Sang “Star
of Bethlehem Sunday”
The Community Chorus compos-
ed of 20 people of Marietta and
Maytown, under thé direction of
Harry U. E. Horn, sang the can-
tata “Star of Bethlehem” in the
Maytown Church of God, Sunday
evening.
Mrs. John McClure, of Maytown,
is’ visiting in New Castle, Pa.
Miss Helen Keiser, of Maytown,
a student at Millersville State
Teachers’ College will resume her
studies Monday.
Mr. and Mrs. William Baker, of
Dayton, Ohio, who are visiting at
Lititz, the guests of Mr. and Mrs.
John Hershey, spent several days
af Rowenna, the guests of Mrs.
Fannie E. Gish.
The Sunshine Bible class of Re-
formed church met Tuesday atthe
home of Miss Helen Hollenbaugh.
Those present were: Mrs. Hiram
Mayer, Mrs. Edgar Mayer, Mrs.
Ray Fryberger, Mrs. Arthur D.
Knobel, Mrs. Harold Endslow,
Rachael Mayer, Anna Albright,
Lillian Sload, Grace Henderson,
Ethel Culp and Helen Hollenbaugh.
Miss Hollenbaugh is a student at
Catawba college.
At the meeting of the O. N. A.
M., officers were elected as fol-
lows: Councilor, George Sload;
vice councilor, Harry Heisey; re-
cording secretary, William Glatt-
acker; financial secretary, Harold
Glattacker; treasurer, George Drau;
senior ex councilor, Isaac Carpen-
ter; Junior ex councilor, Irvin Nei-
nan; Inductor, Samuel Johnson;
Examiner, Hiram Engle; trustee,
Irvin Neiman; representative to
state council, Samuel Johnston;
Proxy, Hiram Engle.
ree etl Ie.
GLOOM CHASERS
The following advertisements ap-
BELIEVE IT
OR NOT
“Grandma” Ary, 89, of Lawrence,
Kansas, says women sissies
who smoke cigarettes—and
prove it, pulls away on one of her
favorite-make cheroots. Despite her
age, she reads without glasses,
likes wild west stories and
pinochle, and recently went on a
coon hunt at night. She reared 10
children.
A Gri
“YES"—A FORGOTTEN WORD
are
Years ago it was a very common
thing to hear the word “yes” in
conversation. With the passage of
time, however, that refined vocable
has become almost as extinct as the
dod bird or the three-toed megaso~
pholus, if not the giasticutus—that
hybrid animal which has its legs
longer on one side than the other
because of its long-time habit of
feeding on sidehills.
Today, alas, the nearest thing in
sound to the original affirmative are
such things as “yeh,” “yep,” “puy,”
“ye-up,” or “yippy.” Other current
synonyms are “um-hoom,” uh-
huh,” ete. Also a flock of affirmative
expressions have been created to
take the place of the simple “yes”—
such as “You said it,” “Ain't it the
truth?” “You said a mouthful,”
“You're telling me!” etc.
In recent years smart fellows have
resented . being classed as “yesmen.”
Don’t Wake Up Nights
This 25c. Quick {best Free
If it fails” to Musk oat” ‘waste and
excess acids which eausé” bladder ir-
regularity. Take buchu leaves, junin-
er oil, etc., in little green tablets cal-
led BUKETS. Works on the bladder
similar to castor oil on the bowels.
Poorly acting bladder can cause scan-
ty flow, frequent desire, burning or
backache. In four days if not pleased
any druggist will refund your 2c. E.
W. GARBER, Druggist.
peared in various papers some years
ago:
“Bulldog for sale; will eat any-
thing; very gond of children.”
“Wanted, a boy to be partly out-
side and partly behind the counter.”
“Widow in comfortable circum-
stances wishes to marry two sons.”
“Animal sale now on; don’t go
elsewhere to be cheated; come
here.”
“A lady wants to sell her piano
as she is going abroad i na strong,
iron frame.”
“Wanted an airy bedromm for a
gentléeman 22 feet long and 11 feet
Recently this line appeared in a
“A carload of bricks came in for
a walk through the Park.”
I
COULD NOT DO HER
WH EN every-
2 thing you at-
tempt is a burden
—when you are
nervous and irri-
table—at your
wit’s end—tr
this medicine. It
may be just what
you need for extra
energy. Mrs. Charles L. Cadmus of
Trenton, New Jersey, says, “After
doing just a little work I had to lie
down. My mother-in-law recom-
mended the Vegetable Compound.
1 can see a wonderful change now.”
AEN AT
VE A YTB TEE TET
to |
WEDNESDAY,
JANUARY 8th, 1930
sr sist
Perhaps that is why so many ways
have been found to avoid saying
the fatal word “yes.” Girls will say
it— at the right time and right place
and to the right fellow—but even
they have invented all sorts of cute
little tricks for expressing the idea
without actually using the word
And so, “yes” may appear before
long in the dictionaries with the
explanation “obsolete” or ‘“‘archaic”
after it.
and Trust
HERE’S HO
<5
10 Club
Club
Club
Club
Club
Club
Club
Club
Club
Pays. ........
<A
25 Pays,
D0
1.00
2.00
3.00
$ 4.00
$ 5.00
$10.00
Pays...
Rags...
Pays,
o*
Paws, ........
Bags........
Paye.........
Pays. ........
Our Club Offers an Easy Plan to
& TRUST
A native of California was visit- |
ing here in Lancaster county. He |
remarked: “What I can't make out
is why you Easterners are willing
to keep living in a section with all
that cold ” Our Lan-
caster Countian explained: “It is |
and snow.
because we handle the coal shovel |
and
our hands are nicely calloused to
snow shovel all winter that
run the lawn mower all summer.”
FARRER ARREARS EAR REAR ERR
The Christmas
J OIN Savings Club
at the
First National Bank
Simply select the amotint you desire to deposit weekly, bring it
to the bank, make your first deposit, then deposit this amount the
first of each week as per table below.
THE CLUB RU
Join One or More of the Following Classes
YOU CAN JOIN NOW
®
FIRST NATIONAL BANK
MOUNT JOY, PA.
Member of Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation
dec.d-Kt
A RRR TE FETE TE TE TE TRIE TET ITE TL TE TE IE OE TE FETED »
>
Company
W TO JOIN
NS 50 WEEKS
$ 5.00
Rie $ 12.50
wh Nai $ 25.00
lek an) $ 50.00
ii A via $100.00
-$150.00
$200.00
- $260.00
.$500.00
Provide Money for any Purpose
5
PS TF PE ETA Ree eT SERS SUF RT REESE REN RE RENEE
RE
ne i:
S |
COMPANY
Say it with flowers,
Say it with sweets,
Say it with kisses,
Say it with eats.
Say it with jewelry
Say it with drink
But always be careful
NOT to say it with ink!
and Richard Maxwell; Historian,
Kenneth Frey.
HEN lordly saddles of venison
appeared on the table in the
spacious days of our grandfathers
— a spiced
. grape jelly
was so often
served along
with the roast,
that it came to
be known as
venison jelly.
It is no trouble
at all to make
—with bottled
grape juice and fruit pectin. Lack:
ing venison, you will find it ex-
cellent to serve with lamb, mutton,
pork chops, or roast: .
_ Venison Jelly
4 cups (13 Ibs.) sugar; 2 cups
(1 1b.) bottled grape juice; 14 cup
apple vinegar; '2 teaspoon cloves;
1 teaspoon cinnamon; _% bottle
fruit pectin. :
Measure sugar, grape juice, vine:
gar, and spices into 3-quart sauce-
pan and mix. (Any desired com-
bination’ of spices may be used.)
Bring to a boil over hottest fire
and at once add bottled fruit pec.
tin, stirring constantly. Then bring
to a full rolling boil and boil hard
12 minute. Remove from fire,
skim, pour quickly. Parafin hot
jelly at once. MaKes about 5
glasses (6 fluid ounces
4
WHAT ARE Nov 7
RiroS Doin IN
THERE 2
FRAMIN' SOME
SIGNALS ?
|
|
SHALL |.
DEAL You
IN 2 .
SPEAK
QU\CY.
“THINK, LL
MERBE THEY'VE
GOT A LiL
HooOCH our
THERE -
7
[THAT LITTLE CAME?’ mternatiCertomco., 5.Y-By B. Link
NEARS AN' NEARS —
HE'S ALL RIGHT.»
LAST STACK WITH, — =~
cfs ,—
7%
AW, WE WNOWN HIM FoR
DONT WORRY AROUT. THAT
CHECK. HE BOUGHT. HIS
T'S AS GOOD AS GOLD!
I'D CASH \T BUT I'M BROKE,”
A To ASK HIM TO,
WRITE ME ONE SO \ CAN BUY
o—==
NIX? NIX YE -
DONT RING \N
ANY MORE OF ‘EMe
\ WONT ACCEPT
vy — |
VA BANRER =, |
WHAT AM | GOWN
=o DO wW\TH
THE ONE)
HAVE 2 : :
|
WANT YY,
'M STUCK with
so LAY OFF
7//
/
+X
| —with all our
©
KRALL’S
Crushed
GET MAD
iF YOU MUST
ba
a
i
DON'T BLAME
THE WELDER
If you neglect getting your repairs
done until the minm™® you need
| them,
: mie
Pause a moment—then remember
ntodern equipment
it still requires some time to do ev-
ery job. Help us give you BETTER
SERVICE by bringing your needed
repairs in early. ?
We Specialize ih ELECTRIC and
ACETYLENE WELDING, AUTO
STEERING & SPRING TROUBLE,
HARD SURFACING parts subject
to excessive wed, GENERAL
BLACKSMITHING and REPAIR-
ING. “
R. U. Trimble
ELIZABETHTOWN; PA,
FROZEN WATER PIPES: thawed
quickly, safely and at modegate cost
with electric. dec.11-tf
Sk
For Clean, Well-Graded
Crushed Stone
At a Low Price
CALL
John A. Hipple |
Mt. Joy 86 or E'town 66R4
sep.11-tf
WE HAVE.....
QUALITY
MEATS
MEAT
MARKET
West Main St., Mt. Joy
NN
EXAMINED <
==
DR. HUBER
OPTOMETRIST
220 X. DUKE SF. LANCASTER, PA
toApril 1st'36
GLASSES
"FITTED
“Il, E. ROBERTS
NOTARY PUBLIC
Specializing on Atitoitles, Licenses
and Operators Lenses
Marietta St. and ii
25 E. Main St. MT. JOY, PA.
Buin O LONE
Before plaging your order elsewhere
see us. Also manufacturers of
a
CONCRETE BLOCKS
SILLS and TANTELS
J.N.STAUFFER<BRO
MOUNT JOY, PA.
HOW ARE YOUR SHOES?
TOO LONG
BRINGBHEM IN
CITY 8S
REPAIRING
30 SOUTH QUEEN STREET ™~
LANCASTER, PENNA.
Turn useless articles about your
home into cash. Advertise them in
our classified column.
( FEEL HAPPY
2 THIS MORNING
FELT SO ¢oop
10 (FOR. THREE ™MinyTES
* — mn se
a.)
70 YOU KNOW WHY ---
Drawn for this paper
By Fisher
Coming Events
ge
Gast Their Shadows Be fore ?
~~ [Fart
(TiS
INTERNATIONAL CARTOON CO, K.Y,
~—
MeRey! i 2
I
FREDERIC IC,
\n a 1S AV 4 |
NEL
THE MATTER?
—
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i
in ih
WEDN
TC
Se
1 ¢
MAYT(
FIE
ALS
LEAD
SLAT
SEC
Team:
Rothsvi
Fast He
Maytow
Mariette
Paradise
Maytc
through
One, o
Basketb
Before
defeated
30 to 1
It was
visitors
Mumper
guns fo
Maytow
G. Mun
Shue, F
Shenk,
Hoffmar
Shank,
Totals
E. Hem;
Dietrich,
Reist, F
Markley
Shellenk
Long, C
Poff, G
Clemson
Totals
Score
..MAYT
E. HE
Refere
er, Heng
time of
Maytowr
Sherrech
Demmy,
Reber, 1
Kendig,
Andersor
Wetzel,
Stauffer,
Houseal,
Totals
E. Hem;
Ernst, F
Mease, 1
Kauffmas
Chellenb:
Reist, G
Thomas,
Rineer,
Gochen'r
Totals
Score |
MAYT!
E. HE
Referee
er, Hend
time of
SP
TI
~
Anderson
Herr
Stein
Mateer
M. Good
Derr
Totals
Carpentecl
Stucky
Speece
Lingle
M. Frye
Miller
Totals
High
Triple, Si
Hogentogl
F. Good
Anderson
Herr
M. Good
Derr
Totals