. . 71 " IT ' r • .-; , , , ....-1, , ,_ ,t - 4 7-..... , . t, ~,._ _ . • •.• ..11.4 • ........." .{.a. .. est' ......... .I.V , ^,:.#4, ~,.., ...VOA: t: '2;tr.,..,1 ~,,,..„,, diff,t,.,,,41...r5,.. .1...«.134 , 041aa1...;" a . . . . , . •, A . .. ..., , _ ,• 14. ,i c . • IL., • ,',-;'-'.? ei x ... , . . •• ‘ ~ , _ .. 1 . . • . rj { : i ' .'' A ...,. j i • . : PI: -41 4 , ~ -, , 1z •,•• 1 ' ' ' . ' "/C.4...'1 r.... .7. - 4' ..›IIT":,,K ': ..i • 7 ...----7 i::,,0,,"?.: 5 '' ', . 'et;4." .. : ::' , 11: 2 * I. :' .. ;:- 2: - 7 .- - - eiVl-- Cf ~ „,,,,. 13 „,,,,,, 1 - e--,. t . ,,:.._ . --- ;;( --- ~.., ..... w. • 44, - . -' , p: - .,:.. - . f.• ,AI , . t . i ' 11 1 1 1 I, . 1 ,P > fifi 1 I•i ~ I rr) UFA E... 4 . , ,. ~. ~„ ~,...... i • vl -' ~ , .:•. 4 ,` , -•...4t1k , • 01111.1111.1111111 0.1111. \ MN - II . .. , - .... s33r W. 3231a1ab. kyjmumil XXII. JUST THE THING WHICH A MIN HAVE! -0- OW is the time to economize when money is 11 scarce. You should study your interest, by supplying yo(tr wants at the first class store of f 3, N. BEAVER. North-east corner of the Diamond. He does business on the only successful method, •iz: by buying his goods for cash. The old fogy idea of buying goods at high prices and on long credits is EXPLOED. Call enil examine our fine s RUINED by paying 20 per cent, too much for your goods else., where. We will chalenge the community to• show forth a more complete stock of steed styles and to suit all,. • C. N. BEAVER'S. BOOTS, all kinds awl prices, at C. N. BEAVER'S. SHOES, of every description for Men's, Ladles', Misses' and Children's wear, at ' =, a o t.e very _G. N. BEAVER'S. CLOCKS, every one warranted anti sold byC. N. BE 9YER. TRUNKS, of all sizes, the very best manufacture, also warranted and soli by C. N. BEAVER. VALISES, of every kind, also very cheap, at C. N. BEAVER'S. HATS, for Ladies, Misses and Children, a fresh supply received every week and sold by C.N. BEAVER. NOTIONS, a full line is follows, sold by C. N.BEAVER. PAPER COLLARS, for Men and Boys wear, the most complete and finest assortment in town, by C. N. BEAVER. HOSIERY, of every kith], for sale, I-y C. N. BE - AVER: . GLOVES, for Men and Boys wear, ac C. N. BEAVER'S. SUSPENDERS, for Men and Bova wear, at C N. BEAVER'S, CANES AND UMBRELLAS, a complete stock at N. BEAVER'S, BROOMS AND BRUSHES, of the very beat kind, at C. N. BEAVER'S. TOBACCO, to suit the taste of all, at C. N. BEAVER'S; CIGAR'S, which cannot be beat, for by C. N. BEAVER. SNUFF, which we chalenge any one to excel in frailty, for sale at C.A. BEAVER'S. INK and PAPER, of description,every at C. N. BEAVER'S. CANDIES, 'always fresh too, for sale, SPICES, &)y sale CRACKERS, of every kind,. al C. N. BEAVER'S INDIGO BLUE, at C. N. BEAVER!S. CONCENTRATED LYE, for sale, at C. N. BEAVER'S. KEROSENE, of the very Lest,—l'itts, at C. N: BEAVER'S. LAMP CHIMNIES also, Ana many other articles not necessary to mention. We now hope that you will give us a share of your patronage. We are indeed, thankful Li you fer past patronage, and hope a cont;nuance of the same, and remain pours truly, CLARENCE N. BEAVER. , Waynesboro', June 2, 1870. GROVER & BIKER FIRST PREMIUM ELASTIC STITCH FAMILY SEWING MACHINES, 495 Broadway, New York 730 Chesthut street, Philadelp• POINTS OF EXCELLEVE. beauty and Elasticity of stitch. Perfection and simplicity of Machinery. Using kith threads directly from the spools. No fastening of seams by hand and nu waste of thre ad. Wide range of application without change of ad justment, The seam retains its beauty and firmness after washing and ironing. Besides doing all kinds of work done by other Machines, these Machines execute the most beauti ful and permanent Embroidery and ornamental work. ' rir The Highest Premiums at all the fairs and exhibitions of the United States and Europe, have been awarded the Grover & Baker sewing Ma chines, and the work done by them, wherever ex hibited for competition., or The very highest prize, Tiu CROSS OP THE LEGION OW HONOR, was confened on the representa tive of the Grover & Baker Sewing Machines, at the Exposition Universelle,Paris, 1869, thus attest ing their great superierity.over all other Sewing Ma chines. Fur 8213 by D. W. ROBISON, Waynesboro' NOTICE. , . The landetsigned haying had 17 years' experience as 5 practical operator on Sewing Ma chines wvuld recommend the (;rover & Baler Fam ily Machine as the cheapest and best machine fur family use. The simplicity of construction and elasticity of stitt h made by these machines are two very imprtant points in their favor. 2+50,000 of these machiccs sire today bearing witness to the truth of our assertions and the demand is steadily increttsing. We have also shuttle machines on hand for Tail ors and Coach•trimmers' use. Call and see us. D. W. ROBle.olll, Main st., Waynesboro', Pa. 0. MOLASSES.—The subscribers have lust J received , ' prime lot of New Orleans Molasses or the holidays IMOE & HOEFLIt;Ii The stream that hurries by-you fixed shore Returns no mole; The wind that dries at morn yon dewy lawn Breathes atd is gone ; Those withered flowerslo Rummer's ripening glow No more shall blow; Those fallen leaves that strew yon garden bed For aye are dead. Of laugh, of jest, mirth, of pleasure past, Nothing shall last ; Naught shall remain ; • Of all for which poor mortals mourn, Naught shall let urn ; Life has its hour in heaven and earth beneath, Not all the chains thatslank in eastern clime Can fetter Time ; For all the phials in the doctor's store Youth comes no.more; No dra : onAge's wrinkled cli_tekliene_ws_ • Life's early . hues; Nut all the tears bst pious mourners shed Can wake the dead . For all epring gives, and Winter takes again, We grieve in vain ; Vainly for sunshine fled, and joys gone by, We heave a sign ; On; ever on, with unexhausted breath, Time. hastens to death. Ever,with each word we speak, a moment flies, Is born, and dies. If thus, through lessor Nature's empire wide, Nothing abide— If wind, and wave, and leaf, and sun, and flower, Have each their hour— He walks on ice whose i vvell-laught love Truths firm and bright, but oft to mortal ear Chilling and drain, • Harsh as the raven's croak and sounds that till Of pleasure's knell! Pray, reader, that at last the minstrel's strain Not all in vain ; And when thou bend'st to God the suppliant knee, Remember me ! C. N. BEAVER'S. C. N. BEAVER'S. C. N. BEAVER'S A well known inspector of the detective:;, force once related to us a clever capture. ef- , i tented by himself, of a daring thief, who had more than once escaped from prison. IAI, inspector himself had had considerable perience, and tracked his man to a low mai-. lie house; and, under pretense of, Whig tin old Net' himself, threw his companion off his guard hY itlatitig anecdotes. He was un• armed hittiself, and knew that the real bur• glar —who was known to the fraternity as 'Bill the Cracksmau'—had a revolver in his breast pocket, with the use of which he was thoroughly acquainted, and the question was how to arrest him Single-handed. Story fol. lowed story, and reminiscence reminiscence, until Bill and his companion—who called himself Jety Blake—became as thick as mem bers of the former's profession was prover- bially supposed to become. 'Now,' said Mr. Blake, after a pause, 'as a last bit of anecdote, I'll show you how Joe the Tiaman was took. He'd swore there wasn't a man in the colony or out of it that would take him single-handed. Well, as the reward for his capture" was a heavy one, a chap named Simmons, who ,was•then out of the mounted police, determined to try it on. So what does he do, knowing some of Joe's • haunts, but bribes a stockman, who lived in a lonely hut, on the aide of a deep gully a. niong the bills, to let him take possession for a week or so. It was a but where Joe was accustomed to call when be wanted to get fresh supply of rum, for the stockman had been a oonviet like himself and a pal of his, but, pal or no pal, he sold Joe this time and. no mistake' 'l'd have blown his brains out. if I'd been Joe,' observed the eraekantan with a savage oath. 'I honor your sentiments,' responded Mr. Blakwand from what I know of Joe ho shared 'em. But, you see, when be looked in one night at the hut, no stockman was there—but in his place Simmons,' looking the very picture of a rough shepherd,,was seated over the fire making tea and cooking damper.' Italfuh ! where's the stockman here ?'— asked Joe, stalking into the hut and ap ! preaching the fire, for Joe wasn't afraid of the devil himself—besides he was all stuck around with bowie knives and six-slioaters, so that he was a .claution to look at. WAINF,SBORO; FRANKLIN COUNTY, PENNSYLVANIA, THURSDAY MORNING, JUNE 23, iB7O. I"CiIII"I IO XCJA.X... • • v, s%.l.'t: : •-••• . - TUB STEM HU HUBBIES BY. And so hath death% - IIifiVESIP. BY BROWN R. EMERSON. Death seems to hold high harvest now, • And heroes 'neath the reaper bow. The world's great giver gives his life , Out war-horse, too, gives up the strife. . Then one who held the highest power, ' Surrenders-at the final hour. , The world's great minister, alas, • From earthly triumphs, too, must pass, • And he who ne'er knew overthrow At Death's cold wave has just bowed low. The press has lost its champion, too, • And pulpits show the bitter rue; While all the walks of life aro wet With tears of sorrow and regret. liar 31:IS OM ICALLE:4. - DeTY . A CLEVER CAPTURE. .Att.3ta Tiacllearoe.33 clerLt Nia,xt;Lll. - y• 'lN.Tervmrsarta,ipe•v. 'Where's the stockman says he. Simmons only looked up for a minute, then went on cooking the damper. 'He's gone.' 'Gone where—dead ?' 'Pretty night it. He's down at the sta tion with marsh fever, I've been ordered up here in his place.' 'An who may you be, mate, when you're at home?' asked Joe, savagely, for he .Was disappointed at losing his friend. 'When I'm at home,' said Simmons, still busy with his damper, 'if home means Eng. land, .1 might be lord,. mayor, or chancellor of the exchequer, for any chance I have of getting back there—but being here where I am, I'm only a jailbird, liketynaate.'- Joe, who wasn't accustomed to bold speak. ing of this kind, stepped back a pace or two and laid his hand on a six•shooter. 'Who do you take me for ?' he asked with awoath II don't take you for .any ane but your proper or improper self,' said Simmons quite unmoved, and filled two tin mugs with the sweetened_tea . 'And-who-am 1-?' 'Joe the Tinman.' Joe handled his pistol as one prepared for action, but Simmons burst into a laugh. 'Leave off handling yo,ur barking iron,' be said, 'and take that wag of'tea. I'd advise you to put• a taste of rum in it,_for the night's a_n p_pe_r You know where the bottle is, so make no bones ahou't it. When old Mike---that was the name of the stockman—sent me up here in his place, he didn't forget to . say who was his friends and best customers.' All this was said in so easy and comforts. ble a way that the bpsh-ranger was thrfart off his guard; and no wonder, for Sintmurtir was a tall, thin young fellow at that tithe ). and the Tinman, beside being armed to . his, teeth, was middle-aged, short thick set, and: with the muscular development of a bull The hut was miles from any other habitation, and the night, what with wind and rain was a screamer, 'So Joe the Tinman and Simmons 'the trap' sat to their tea together, and a jolly night they had of it, I've heard The pitch- ' er of spirits was filled and emptied again and again. Songs were sung and - tales were toIC till the noisy revelry within the lonely but almost rivaled the dash of the yin and the scream of the blast without. 'Towards morning eaeh took to boasting of his powerpof doing . this thing or, that 'thing, and among other things, Simmons, who'd bean when a more boy a — s - ort of acrobat at a eiroas,_bossted of _his powers of jumping. 'Now,' he said,• 'supposing the traps were about me, and you was one of 'em, I'd--clear a short man like you at a bound—apd pro vided you weren't armed, I'd defy a dozen like you to catch me•' The Tinman, who was bumptious in his cups, denied this. 'Why,' said he, 'if you was to try to leap* over me, as you say, I'd just up with my arms and pin your two thread-paper legs so' Ile illustrated his words by action, but Simmons only laughed. 'Nonsense ! I'd skini over you as . a swallow skims over a bit. o'water. You wouldn't even touch my shadow as I passed.' The Tinman, drinking more rum, grew angry. `l'd like to see you try it., You're more of a grasshopper than a properly built man, that's what you are. Come, 1. 1 11 bet you this good watch that you - don't jump clean over we as L stand now, back toward you.' ,'Watch be hanged I says Simmons, bet you a bottle of rum against the bowie you've. got in your belt that I clear a short chap likb you, hold up your hands as high as you can, at a jump, only give me the run of a few ;Yards.' • • 'Done 1' And drawing the Bowie knife from his belt, the bush-ranger laid it on the table. 'Gammon !' observed Bill, who had listen ed with much attention to the story. • 'lts a thing as Leotard, or any o' thou springy chaps couldn't do.' 'lt's only a trick,' replied Mr. Blake—ea mere circus trick—which every clown in the ring understands. llere, I'll show you bow it's done malt minute--that is, I'll show you how-Simmons must have done it., according to MY With ready, obedience Bill stood up, and turned his back to the operator. 1 1. suppose that's how the 'human stood ?' should fancy just do. Raise your arms a little above the level of your bead. That's it. Throw them back a- little, and 1 will allow you how the trick was done Bill,.following every direction, raised his handssbigh over his head, then let, them declineulightly in the (Unction of his new "i,The latter taking Bill's wrists in his hand, firimght them gently together. 'lids is how the thing must have been done, he said. (Simmons must have Jalteo Ovantago of a position that placed the litteht ranges absolutely is his power to draw a pair of handcuffs from hie pocket and before the other could Make a movement, slip tbem on so. , The thing was done in an instant, and be- fore the eraeltsman could• well realize the fact he found himself seated in one of the chairs, his hands fettered, and his captor, calm And smiling, staudinir, over him.: 'What do you mean by all this ?' Bill gasped out at last, looking about him with bewildered amazement. •Is it a joke I" 'A capital juke replied the other, 'lt waLL whO.trted the same joke co, the Tia• min, and it succeeded eaptmlly.' 'You.?' 'At that time I belonged • to the colonial pollee, now rta,Mr. Triveetor Simmons.— i'ddresh M Scotland yard, and I'm 'very muoh at your service' Llquor Qoostiuo—'What's fours?' An Anecdote of lienry C lay. Mr. Clay was a western man, and any measure be supposed would aid the great West always had his support. 0- me immigrants from the Rhine bap. period to settle at Vevey, Indiana, and con• ceived the idea, then a new one, that Ameri• can grapes would make good wine. The ex. periejent was tried, and proved a success. Alresent of hank-dozen bottles was sent to Mr. Clay, who, as might be supposed, was in raptures over the success attending the experiment. A couple of bottles were oarefully put aside tube - taken to Washington, in order to have it tested and sampled by the wine•bibbers of that city. In those days members of Congress trav eled either on horseback or by carriages to MO, Federal city. Mr. Clay bad his own car riage, and used it on the journey. When the tired horse came to a bill, Mr. Clay took advantage of the circumstance to stretch his weary limbs by walking to the top; but e k e anxious was he for the -safety of bis wine, to -sboarthat - thild pioeure an article not itferior th at on tWit be carefully and tenderly carried a bottle in ,each band, lest they should be broken. Arriving at Washington,. the wine was presented to Mr. Madison, then President of the United States, who, to show off its goOd quality, gave_a_large dinner_party in_honor_ of the event. The fact that Mr. Clay had presented the President with a couple of bottles of Western wind, made• of the juice of, the Western a grapes, was made public. pnd small quanti -fty given to each guest to taste. Each sip the followed by a wry face, yet all, as a mat ter-bf course, pronounced it excellent, su perb, magnificent. _ As is the case with all general rules, there was, of course, one exception, in the person of a bluff member of Congress, said to be ex- Governor Vance of Ohio, who, turning to Mr. Clay, with a quizzical look, said— 'Mr. Clay, this way - be excellent wine, but it tastes to me like Kentucky whiskey, and mean whiskey at that.' Mr.` Clay seized his glass and tasted, paused a momentoand then was forced to 'acknowl edge-the-oorn.' anxious as Mr. Clay to taste the Western wine, had opened the bottles at home, drank the contents, and filled them with whiskey, and the Great Commoner, knowing nothing of the fact, had carried the new•made whis key in old wine_bottles to-Washington-to - have it stamped as Western wine. The joke, so the tale goes, was so good a one that Mr Clay forgave the juvenile tree passers, and none enjoyed it more than he, though ho was the victim. _A Truo and Touching-Incident. A. youn g man and his wife were preparing to attend a Christmas party at the house of a friend. 'Henry, my dear husband, don't drink too much at the party to-day,' said she, putting her hand upon his brow,,and raising her eyes to his face with a pleading smile. .'No, Millie, I will not, you may trust me,' and she wrapped her intim:air) a blanket, and they descended. The horses were soon pran cing over the turf, and a pleasant conversa tion beguiled the way. 'Now don't forget your promise,' whispered the young wife, as they passed up the stops. Poor Millie 1 she was the wife of a man who loved to look upon the wine when red. The party passed pleasantly ; the wife de •seended from the upper chamber to join her husband. A pang shot through her beating heart at she met him, for he was intoxicated, " ,he had also broken his promise. Silently, they drove homeward, save when ihe drunken man broke into snatches of song or unmeaning laughter. But the wife rode on, her babe pressed closely to her grieved heart. — 'Give me At baby, Millie. I can't trust you with him,' he said, as they approached a dark and swollen stream. After some hesitation, she resigned her first born—her darling babe, se closely wrap. ped - in a great blanket--to hie aims. Over the dark waters the noble steeds bore them, and when they reached the bank the mother asked for the child. With much care and tenderness he placed the bundle in her arms; but when she clasped it to her breast, no. 'babe was there ! It bad slipped from the blanket , and the drunken father knew it not. A wild shriek from the moth er aroused him, and he turned round just in time to see a rosy face rise one,moment above the dark waters and sink forever—and that by hitrown intemperance. The anguish of the mother and the remorse of the father can better be imagined than deseri4ed. A PITHY SERMON TO YOUNG MEN.—You aro the architects of your own Atreogth of body and soul. Take for you motto, self. .reliance, honesty and industry; for your star, faith, perseveranoe'and pluck; and inscribe on your banner, ..Be just and tear not.' Keep at the helth and steer your own ship. • Strike .ont. Think well of yourself... Fire above the mark s yon intend to hit. Assume your position. Doo't praotioe excessive humility; you,.oan• t get above your • level—water don't run up-hill—put potatoes is a cart over a rough road and tho small ones will go to the bottom. Energy, invincible• determination, With's right.motive, are the severs that rule the world. The great art of commanding is to take a fair share :of the mork. Civility costs , nothing and bup.everything. Don't drink ; don't smoke; don't swear; don't gain• hle ; don't steal; don't deceive; don't tattle. Be polite, generous, kind. BtUdy hard, play hard. Read good booko. Love your fellow men, love your country and obey the laws. Love truth ; Jove virtue. Always do what your conscience tells you to be a duty, and leave the consequence with Gad.—.E,c. •••••• charity is tho °rol:ling glory of the Christian profession. A FEARFUL NIGHT [Film the Austin (Texas) Journal May 174 We published some ,days since, a brief, and necessarily imperfect account of this strange and most painful calamity, which we now correct, with fuller particulars, as we receive the statement from tbo lips of Bre vet Colonel Merriam, Major of the 24th I,a -fantry, who is not, in Austin The Colonel, after almost lour years of military service on the frontier of Kansas, New Mexico and West Texas, bad received leave of absence, and was journeying with his wife and child from El. Paso to the Texan coast, They bad reached the head of the Conch() river, and camped for the night, on Sunday, the 24th of April. The stream at this point is BO small that a man oar step across it.any where. The banks were 20 feet above tje bed of the water. Fatigued with—the long journey of 68 miles in the previous 24 hours, withoUt water, the party were pleasantly rest ing, when early in the evening, Col. Merriam was roused by the sigos of an 'approaching storm. The' ent was fastened and made as secure as possi • e, and about 9 o'clock a hail storm burst upon them, accompanied by some rain ,and a strong wind. The fall of hail was unprecedented, lasting until nearly 11 o'clock., the stones being the size of hen's eggs, and striking the tent and prairie with a noise like -near-and-incessant musketry. The Colonel, who was not ignorant of the sudden and extreme-overflows-to—which—the mountain streams of Texas are liable, went out into the darkness as soon as the storm had ceased, to note what effect had been pro duced on the rivulet. To his amazement he found in the formerly almost dry bed'of the creek a resistless torrent loaded and filled with hail, rolling nearly bankfull, white as milk, and silent as a river of oil Ho at once saw, the danger, and ran back to the tent shouting to the escort and ser vents to turn out. He placed Mrs, M., the child and nurse in the 'carriage, and with the aid - of three men started to run with it to the higher ground, a distance of not more. than 60 yards. Scarcely a minute had elapsed from the time the alarm had been given, but already the water had surged over - the'baiikitilia - ifea of such volume and force as to sweep the party from their feet, before they had traversed 30 yards. The Colonel called on some cavalry soldiers for assistance, who bad just escaped from the United States Mail station near by, but - they - wore - too terorizeci to heed or to help. Colonel Merriam then abandoned the hope of saving his family in the carriage, and tried to enter it in order to swim out with them, but he was swept down the iod•oold current like a bubble. Being ao expert swimmer, he succeeded in reaching 'the bank about two hundred yards below, •and ran back to,reoew the effort; then he received the terrible tidings that the moment after he was swept down, the carriage, with all its preoious freight had turnelover, and gone rolling down the flood, his wife saying as she disappeared, 'My darling husband, good-bye.' The little rill of a few . hours before, which a child might step across, had become a raging river; covered with 'masses of drift wood a mile in width, mud from thirty to forty feet deep. The bereaved husband procured a horse from one of the cavalry, and rode far down the torrent,•but could see nothing in the darkness, and hear.naugbt but the'wild sound of the waves. So Fussed the long wretched night. Before day the strange and momentary flood had passed by, and the small stream shrank to its usual size, and ran in its wonted bed. The sad search began. The drowsed soldiers and servants, four in number were found, and the body of the wife taken from the water about three fourths of a mile be low, and prepared for a journey of fifty-three miles to the post of Conchs, for temporary burial — Not till three days after was the body of the child found, four miles down the stream, and'along distance from its bed.— Mrs Merriam was a lady of fine culture and attainments, valued and beloved by /all who knew her. The little girl, not three years old, Was remarkable for the maturity of her mind and the sweetness of her disposition. The carriage was drifted by the current about a mile, and lodge - rin a thicket. The storm and flood are represented as frightful beyond description. The Beaver pond from which the Concho takes its rise was so filled with the icy hail that the catfish were killed by the congelatian, and were swept in wagon loads, together with the myriads of smaller animals of the plain, such as rabbits and snakes, all over the country, by the sudden and rashiog flood. Three days after the storm, when tbe. party left the Conebo, the hail still . lay in drifts acd winrows' to the depth of more than six feet. • There is not a single member of a single church, male or female, youog or old, rich or poor, but should be engaged in personal et. forts for the conversion of-souls. Our army may as tutioeally leave the battle to be fought by the officers alone, as, the Church leave the conversation of the world to the ministers of the Gospel Indeed, it is a fundamental error to consider it a mere min• isterial work. A CURIOUS FAM—Trutb stranger than fiction. A gentleman in our neighborhood astonished at the backwardness of his potato crop, had the ground examined by a moat experienced judge. It was discovered that the potatoes was short sighted and couldn't see their way through the soil. .After dress ing the ground with,a. liberal supply of spectacles, our friend, was rewarded by see big that tubers grow like Winking,. Au amorous awaio• declares be la so fond of his girl that he.has rubbed ;ha akin from his noao, by kissing her shadumi ola, the wall. A hopeless case that. 82.00 ]Per 'Saar The Berkley Egg. It way a great many years ago, before the introduction of steam -navigation into the waters of Long Island Bound, when Capt. Thayer, one of the pioneer captains in steam boat travel, commanded a sloop io the waters of Taunton river. One morning, being at the lauding of Berkley, and having occasion to cross to the other side, he encored a barn - where the boat's oars were kept with which ha was`to cross. While there a hen came. cackling off the nest, having laid an egg.— Being a prattieal joker, it immured to him . to operate a little upon the superstitious fears, of the inhabitants of that benighted town._ Be accordingly picked up the warm egg, and wrote on its susceptible shell_ with his pencil, 'Woe to the town of Berltly,' and replacing the egg left the barn. In due time the-nest was cleared of its eggs, and the one hearing the wonderful inscription discovered. The wonderful news was at once telegraphed from house to house through the town, and before night hundreds had j ourneyed - to - t h e - e pat - to - see it for - thiiiiielies. tlonsternation was depicted on every counten ance in view of the impending calamity which they were certain the'phenomenon denoted. It finally occurred to them to ask counsel of their pastor i u this hour of terror. Parson A. was accordingly sent for, and arriving, the cause of alarm was made known to him, back ed-up-by-an-ex hibi tioo—of—the' - egm:— The parson examined it attentively, a - fter which he laid it down, and for many minutes seemed lost in reflection. Hie parishoners thought they saw in this fresh cause for alarm, and one and another would ejaculate in hoarse whispers, 'The Liird wrote it! the Lord wrote it !"At length the old man rose 99 if to address 'them, and - stretohing to his fill height, exclaimed, 'lf the Lord wrote that he didn't know bow to spell Berkley !' and bidding them good day, walked off.— Their eyes were 'opened, and tlk,-saw at once the trick of some mischievous wag; but it was not until some time afterward that they found out the author, to whom they ever afterward owed a grudge, A thin, cadaverous looking German, about fif t • 'ears ot _ age ___eritered___the_offioe- of a health insuranew company in Philadelphia, the other day, and inquired : 'bah de man in vet ioshures de peeble's belts ?' The agent politely "answered, attend to that business sir.' 'Veil, I vents my belts in• -shared, vot you sharp ?"Different prices, ' answered the agent; 'from three to tea dol lars a year, pay ten dollars a year and you get ten dollars a week in case of siokness' 'Veil,' said Mynheer, 'I vent ten dollars vort.' The agent inquired his state of health.— 'Yell, I ish took all de titne, I'se shust out de bed two, three hours a_tay, and de doctor says he can't do nothing more goof vor me.' 'lf that's the state of your health,' returned the agent, 'Fe paolinsure it. We-only in sure persons who are in good health.' At this Mynheer bristled up in great anger.— 'Yon must fink rse a pig fool ! Vot ! you tink_l come pay you ten dullors vor inshure my hell von I vas veil !' A Celebrated divine, who was remarkable in the first period of his ministay fdr a bois• terous mode of preaching, suddenly changed his whole manner in the pulpit and adopted a mild and dispassionate mode of delivery. One of his brethren observing it, inquired of him what had induced him to make the change, He answered, 'When I was young, I thought it was the thunder that killed the people; but when 1 grew wiser, I discovered that it was the lightning, so I determined iu the future to thunder less and A French priest, lauding the superior virtue of a religious over a civil ceremony of marriage, recently declared that every union he had blessed had prospered,and produced, the following - letter in proof . Respected -- Sir : —Since we received your blessing, wer have been so completely happy that, after . ten years of married life, we have just wel comed our twelfth baby. Under these cir cumstances, my husband joins me in the prayer that you would kindly withdraw your benediction.' Ao Irish Judge tried two most notorious fellows for highway robbery. To the aston ishment of the court, as well as the prisoners themselves, they were found not guilty. As they were being removed from the bar, the judge, addressing the jailor, said : 'Mr. Murphey, you would greatly ease my mind if you keep those two respectable gen tiemen until seven, or half pastieveo o'clock, for 1 mean to set out fur Dublin at five, and I should ilke to have at least two hours' start of them.' RESISTANCE TO Eaaoas.--We all need resistance to oar erroa oa every side. Woe unto us when all men speak well of 'us; and woe unto us when all men shall give way to us An ungallant CoogressMilll proposes to lay a tax of twenty-five per cent. on corsets Since there is no tax on men getting tight, why shouldn't the ladies have the same privilege ? • A . Pitris actress, who was to be vaccinated, refused to spoil ber arm by a soar, so she had the operation performed a tow inches above her ankle. A. female preacher married a couple lately in lowa. At the endot the ceremooy the minister kissed the groom. A doub*ful verdiet—whea a, jorang man is referred m Ca.* papa.' Why is a proud woman him% Eausiabook She is full of airs. Moab creed, little faith; um& ore, tittle gold many teerds, little. moric. NtIIBER 50
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers