y • • , . . ....4 , ..v...... '.•;—,,,,• . ~. , , ~., . .. ... .- . . . , .. ... . ~. • ~4 17 4 :0 % ..- . . , . , 1i; • „ ~..., .. 7 ... : .., - -,, • ... - . , 1 - , , : .. ~ ~- , ...- •- .. „ - 7y , - r - ,--,,:,„ ..,:,,,, .. ~.b, ,. , ...,......... :„.• ';:- .-.; '• - - . --- - ' " , il lll4l- ^ -.7.... 7 . 1 . ,. . rcit :. .. . i ... .. .. '. lio * , ~t! . 0..: •t. i,. .r - • ,, 1. , • ~ , T • • i t , , , ,' • ' '..,,, . t ~'• , • : .• ' ' • ' - :... ...1.) 1.; ' • -*-. D2C4iE ... .. . '. :. -.. .... ~ .. Li .,.. ~.„, t 6 . • . ( I'' 2 i e ' • .; ' , -...1 1 , , !_.• , , ' ' ' .P 1 1 . t • . i _. .. .._ . , , .., , , ;r.,,".....27,1100 t r 4. • - - i i ; ____, „.....,..... _. 33* 1717. VOLUMR XXIL ALEX. LEEDS, Next door to the Town Hill, has 12 - 3N4 on hand a fine assortment of CLOCKS. Selected by himself with — grcot core, a large and well selected assortment of . utavalaaap of Swiss, English, and Ameiican Illanufaiiture ; EWELRY cheaper than ever before sold in Waynesboro', all the latest styles kept constantly on hand. Every variety of Cufl buttons. A fine assort ment of FINGER AND EA.R Solid Gold. Engagement and WEDDING RINGS, Silver Thimbles and sheelds,' Castors, Forks, and Spoons, Salt Cellars, end Butter Knives of tho cel ebrated Roger Ntanufacture,at reduced rates. SPE CTACLE S To suit everybody's eyes. New glasses pia in old frames. Clocks, Watches, and Jewelry promptly and neatly repaired and warranted. ALEX. LEEDS, Nell; door to the Town Hall, under the Photo 31 31 ph Gallery. July . LA. S. Di3HEBITE DRUGS, Chemicals, PATENT MEDICINES, PREPARATIONS FOR THE HAIR, OILS, PAINTS, TABNISiIESES, Ace.: tte. -0- tr'Physicians dealt with • at 20;per.cent. diseourtr Ir4iiiesboro' go.fel Marcy 27, ;AP..., WAIMESBORO',' t r WAYNESBORO', FRANKLIN COUNI'Ii, PENNSYLVANIA, FRIDAY MORNINO, JUNE :11,. po to 4 ~. COMB, IN 'IRAQI!' It DRRANS, George D. Prentice bee written many, pretty things, but never anything - more quietly beautiful than the following.:-_ „ Come, in ,beautiful dreams love, Oh.l come• to me eft, • When the light wings of sleep On my bosom lies soft: h-l-come-when—t In the niocin's gentle lighti. Beats soft on the air, Like the pulse of the night—. When the shy and the wave Weir their loftiest blue, When the dew's on the flower, And the stars on the dew. Com'. in beautiful dreams, love, Oh ! come and we'll stray Where the whole year is crowned With the blossoms of May— Where each sound is as sweet As the Coos tifit (10vPil ; ' And the gales are as spa •.. As the breathings of lave ; Where the beams kiss the waves, And the waves kiss:the beach, And our Warm, lips may catch, The sweet lessons they teach. Come, in 'beautiful dreems,love, Oh ! come and we'll fly Like two winged spirits Of love, through the sky ; With hand clasped in hand. -On our dreammings we'll go Where the starlight and moonlight Are blending their glow; And on the bright clouds well linger, Of purple and gold, • , . . 'Till theangels shall envy The-bliss-they—baha TRUST. The child leans on its parent's breast, Le&ves there its cares, and is at rest I; The bird Bits singing by its nest, And tells aloud His trust in God, and so is blest 'Neath every eloud He bath no store, he sows no seed,. Yet sings aloud, and doth not need; By flowing streams or grassy mead, He sings to-shime Men, who forget, in leer of need, A Father's name The heart that trusts forever singe, Ana feels as light as it had wings4l A well of peace within it springs, Come good or ill. Whate'er to-day, to-morrow brings, It is His will! il kip • trz-r...) nt ii, irirtvii c.c'it , 41 VICISSITUDES OF A MILLION At •the time of our story there was an auc tion store near the Bourse, Paris. The viscount Bober N. de P—, was 25 years of age, with an income of 25,000 liv res, with good looks, an il'ustrious name, and could have made a very brilliant mar riage. He ought to have been the happiest man in the world. He had only one regret. He had nothing to do. He was unhappy at his business. He needed a little bitter in his cup of perpetual sweets, but heaven refused to grant it to him. He resolved to fly to other lands, there to seek the fatigues, the sufferings and the novelties . he lacked So, five years ago, he entered by chance, an auction room, just as they were putting up a capital portable writing desk. lie was just about to travel, it was just what he needed; he bought it.fot three hundred trance. It probably cost mare than ten times that sum. In the interior were compartments for everything, and a plate bore the name of Lord one of, the - richest peers of England. He was enchanted with his pur- . chase and carried it home in triumph.— Some days after he set out for Spain. As he went from Madrid to Cadiz, be was stopped by thieves, who completely robbed him. The only thing he missed was his desk. He prayed them to return it. They refused, but their chief, Don Jose Maria, promised to send it after him to Cadiz on receipt - of a ransom.' Robert promised 200 reals, and gave';_he address of the hotel where he meant to stop when at Cadiz. Ho sent the money and got the desk. 2. In America, in the wilds or.Meliiiticibiit' desk was carried. ofilby ,:the Mexicans. He' tktught-it-was lost. Four months afterward he saw it ina shop in Vera Cruz, and paid fi'v bitirdred franes for it. " ' 10.1.,liaViirtg returned' to France, he giought of gninig to Baden. Ho :passed the summer there, and went to Paris„Tim: iting Cologne and -Ais-la Chapelle' .en the Sri}vipg et, Me i which - scpitfates Franco ,frord,,kiplgiuto,lic of the custom house officers. Seine days befOre, some' skilful fellows had 'defrauded the of a ciinsiderchle amount, cense. cfuCally tbC''officers'ivere on 'their guard. • •.The search matt long, and the vineonnt be came furious., . • , , 'What do you here r be asked angrily, , .191 t, sir, i3bject‘i of gitiat'Vaiut can be , concealed to a stualispaeo.' • 'Rave I the air of ,a siougglet? he asked, 'No, but there aro ambassadors who wan gle without scruple. liaclol3en Weivocrssrstriems. '7, The search was continued,. and the • via-, count was astonished to see the officers find apartments in his desk, of the existence of which he was ignorant. At last, full of im patience, he wished to reclaim it. 'Now, that you have seen all,' said he, 'bit us not prolong this unpleasant investigation: - 'What do you say ?' • ° • said that you have seen all, and know that I have nothing contraband.' 'Your coolness, sir, makes me pity you.— Have you nothing to bring forth ? If yen do so, you will 13e free by paying the dues; if not, and I find anything, there will be both a confiscation and a fine. ' • 'But yon have seen all. 'Perhaps.' , 'What-do-yon-mean-by-perhaps-?' It is well made. Any one but Myself might have been deceived.' . 'But I swear to you that you have seen all.' . . _ _ 'Why deceive me? lam going to prove the contrary' ill you find anything else, I will swear to know nothing more .of it.' ,'A poor excuse. I warn you that I, do not bolieve . you. , 'Let us finish, bad job as qitiek'as pos. Bible' , and so much 'the worse for nu.' And with a nail the officer pressed.ag t ainst what was apparently a little ornament, which flew back, disclosing a drawer in which• was a paper parcel: The 'lithe's? took. it out, looked at iti• 'put it back. • • 'That is not contraband,' said ho, with a bow, 'and with so much money, I was wiling to accuse you.'- Thit the viscount was- stupefied with as tonishment. • 'Bank notes! but I did not put there there.' 'You are very fortunate, sir, if you eon for get a million so readily.' In foot, there was a million pounds ster ling. I ; & The viscount took the notes and counted th-ern;-replaced-thetorand-determined-to-find the owner. • Arrived at London, he sought out Lord N—, whose name was engraved_insid• e noi einan affirmed that the money was not his. lie had, given. this desk to a for mer valet of his, whose address he gave the viscount. This valet . was now a wealthy shopkeeper in Pall. He told the viscount that he knew naught of the money, but while in liAly had sold the desk to count Luigi Settimauai, who was immensely rich, and in whose service he then was. The viscount set out for Italy, and went to Revenue, where Count Settimauni lived. He recognized the desk, but avowed that he bad never placed any money in it. He sent the viscount, however, to the Signora Laura a former prima donna of the San Carlo, at whose house, in his gay days, he had orgotten his desk. The Signora Laura recognizdd, the desk, and related that she had given it to the Rus sian Prince Alexis P—, in exebange.for a pearl collar. The viscount set out for St. Petersburg. He was very happy, now he had something to do—to find the true owner of the hidden money. He placed it at interest in order that it might not run the risk of being lost: Prince P— knew the desk, bmt - declared that he hod never concealed a bank note in it. He told the viscount that on leaving It aly, he. had given the desk so a &mouse of the opera, Louisa P who was not in the habit of concealing money. Robert returned to Paris. There ho learn ed that after a life of gallantry and luxury Louisa P— had died in misery and that -her furniture was sold by her creditors. It wa4 at that sale then that ho bought the desk. What to do now! He could only ,think that the maker of the desk had placed the tuoney there, or that it watt there deposited by the Spanish robbers who stole it. The maker in London wrote that ho knew nothing Olt, and the viscount learned that the Spanish robbers had all been hung. - Ah I perhaps it bad been deposited there by the Mexicans. Ho went to Mexico, whence be returned two months ago. He discovered that one of those into whose hands it had fallen was a trapper, who car ried on considerable trade in skins with the Americans. This was sufficient. He must have been the ma* who concealed the bank notes. The viscount continued his search, and at last ono day found at Vera Cruz a very prat. ty young girl of seventeen, the daughter of the Mexican by a French woman, who had come to. Vera Cruz as a milliner. In answer to his 'question she told him that she know nothing of her father, but that he was killed by a Texan ranger. She was , excessively pretty, and like a seri sibl& fellow, he married her, and having at faiit'seen`etbing 'to do, returned to Frince With Ater te:onjoyibe fortdne•of which d singtilar oluitiee tiad lifougli t• m'itild (pbssesZion. INTIMACY WITH CIIILDIt . EN.-4 wise 'frithbriiiid 'pure mother , if they have secured the• tiocpcionae* of thriir childrefiand 'this ,can only . be seemed by hitim'tiOyj—neerT' 'not Yinthfurindiser'etioti- will never ho prolonged into vice, for the least'aot on tbe.liett offspring will, be. DO eooncr committed i tb.ap imparted to the parent, whe will thus be able to.ehick youthful, impru dence, end, interpose ,his experienced wisdom' as a baerier between the couimission of. single'impropriety and the formation of a vi• cious habit - . Many a youth Who has been lost might have' been.'saved if parents' had cultivated a greater 'intimacy With children' . An old lady being in a store at' Water bury, Conn., reliantly, deliberately iit'dewn and reached her - balf-frozm feet to the iron safe, remarking she 'ewe did like those air tight stoves. `Howie Life . 11 id , one o th er day .1: olianend to enter . A. frieMre house.. He-did not know,l ;mein the parlor;- add I. overbenrd.his:,conversation.. ; lie , was •very- !terabit' hisodeating with his , He was 'out of sprite, that , morning. 'The wind was east:, and the east wind hiew into his lungs, and into' his saul, and soured his mind, and soured his heart, end, so, like a base misercantits he was, he-vented hid, bad temper on his wife and children. . It is a bad habit some men have. - , This man was talking in ti hard, nitobris• Han Manner=talking as no father should talk. Ile had lost his temper. Re was say ing what he would be sorry for in ,a few mo ments. And then the servant announced my eseacn be could not help it :.'The boy teased toe I He 'did what I cannot endure, and on the impulse. of the moment, Ispoke , my, anger: I could not control myself.' There was a-frown, en his face; hat' . when I was announced, being more or fese of a stranger demanding of him certain courte sies, he at oncesmoothed bis face as thou gh n nothing : had. hapioned7rAts *though ibis sun was shining brighildu,the,beavenhand the w indwas south, ,andnot, east. : „Ile mine kite, the r oom where I was, and, in the most ,cor. dial and courteous way possible., gave. me. his' hand, and smilingly . bade me Welcome. He could not contiOl hifitieli,' simply be catisti he did' ncirltiifficieatlY appreciate his family; and because he thetightthat his•home was a den in which he could roar with im punity, and not the great temple of Clod, where be.should walk as priest and king. And yet I, almost a stranger, was strong enough in my presence, to,cause him at once to cool down into Courtesy, into affability, into politeness! ' • I tell you, that many and many a • man, and many and many a woman in this strange world of ours, in which many things seem to go wrong, will be gentle, and kind, and char -itablerand full of_ smiles outside of their houses, with strangers, for whose opinion - they - do - not-care--one-H- F or-onc_tittle, and its the house, where all the happiness of years depends upon their sweetness of soul, and -wise re-th ey-are-oons tan tly-e hed d ing--influe • ces that will ripen into the good or bad life of a boy or girl, will yield to a pettishness and peevishness, unworthy of them as men and women, and wholly unworthy of them as Christians.— Hep worth. A Touohing Story. The following bfittntiful and touchingsto ry was related by Dr. Schubly, of Maryland, at a meeting held in New York, to hear the experience of twenty reformed drunkards : A drunkard who had run through his property, returned home one night to his unfurnished home fle entered his empty . hall—anguish was gnawing at his heart strings, and language is inadequate to ex press his agony as be entered _his wife's a partment, and there beheld the victims of his appetite, his lovely wife and darling child. Morose. and sullen, be seated himself with• out a word ; he could not speak, he could not look upon them. Tha mother said to the little angel by her side, 'Come, my child, it is time to go to bed ; and that little babe, as was her wont, knelt by her mother's lap, and gazing wistfully into the face of her suffer ing parent, like a piece of chiseled statua ry, slowly , repeated her nightly orison; and when she had finished, (but four years Of age) said to her mother, 'Dear ma, may I not offer np one more , prayer ?,' 'Yes, yes. my sweet pet, pray.' -And she lifted up her tiny- hands,, closed her. eyes and prayed. 'Oh God, spare, oh spare my dear papa l' That prayer was wafted np with electric rapidity to the'throoe of God. ' It was heard •, it was heard. on earth.. The respoasive burst from the father's lips, and his heart of stone , be. came a heart of flash. Wife sod child were' both clasped to his boson), and in penitence, be said, 'My child, you have saved your fa. ther from the grave oft drunkard. sign the pledge.' TIIE QUIETUDE OF MATURITY.—Have you ever watched a young girl as she sits and thinks ? The pleasant smile stealing round her lips—no frown of anxious care on her forehead—no pained look in her eyes. Oh, my poor weary-hearted render, who his' like me gone through life's struggle, what would you not give to.be.like her, to be as you once were.; but that with many other joys has . passed away`from you forever. You are on.; lit too glad now to sit awhile and enky•tO, day's peace, and you have no trembling hopes, no feverish longings ,for ,to-morrew. It does seem too bad that- ns we grow older all faith in the future vanishes, and anticipation, and , itself a pleasure, leaves us. . The time comes to as all when thinking is only pain, for it is either a sad, sad retrospect, for a foreshadow .of corciingliduble. Ton that are young'prize the 'Sim'nyalays 'that 'ere pawing like a breath; "enjoy - tfieni'Whilif you P4n:-lor bdsrooditberci •Ii a a tlreat'Y wairct!"-I4 _My :Own "Sedryl ,l ': , • l ;I:, it • Iran. wholves turelo get . ..dim:lk ;Oma ha went to• to treivaseonti 'day 'retaining' home in his 'cart in State "of •intokication. Hie cattle atoiiped Ton , the Way; tidcitsome one who, was.paseingi.soeiegt•the ,reason ;of the deten, tion, unfastened tho cattle from the cart, and' started thorn toWnid home., Sare.T. 2l ,houirs afterward, the man , aroused ' fronyhislittipor, •rubbediiis'eics aneloriked Omer. • , ‘Vrell,' "said:he, , scime one has lost a yoke-of cattle or . I hare found a cert.', . • , The-grasS should not be allowed to grow around young trees aft& being planted; as it stunts their growth and utterly ruins , theni., Thi groiidd should bo kept clean and iJOBO irOun'd them; iintit;titidist they ariof bear jug 0436.: The London. R&M . saYs•.that . ,w,ashiag, a horse when in. a sweating state is grateLutitud benefioutito the animal When washed , wipe dry and blanket bite. The-Child-and the Infidel. iielebratifti flutite` woe diningit the bonne' of an intimate friend. After •:dinner, the ladies withdrew, and in - the course cif i nen.. venation, Mr. Hume made some assertion which caused a gentleman present, to observe i l c l ,2`lt you can advance, such sentiments_ as 'those, yon are eciitatnry' what the World gives you the oreditqf being, ad infidel ' ~ A little girl, wh om the , philosopher had often noticed, and with whom be had become 'a favorite', by bringing her little preieibte of toys 'and sweetmeats, happened to bo playing about the room unnoticed.; she, bowever listened to the conversation and, on hearing -tho-abOve'exprcitision, left; the.room, tient to her mother, and asked her, 'Mamma, what is it - 11 - 141/' An. Infidel, her mother , why Shoultlyou ask such a quest tion ? An Infidel -is' n 'character, thst yeariely, kii 3 OW how to answer 'Oh,' do tell inatnita," ietirried the.ohild; 'I must kat:4f What - an ibfidel is? , Strnek With' her eagerness; her anotber , at length- replied, ',o, 40114 is,ope, that .belieyea r that : there is no God, no heaven, no hell, no hereafter.' Some days afterward, litnrie'tigain visited' thehouse of his. :,friend. • On , heigg il intro• - duced ilae parlor, he inand, an one there 'hut hie faiorite !IMO ;'be wBfif Id' her, had attempted W0;104 her uPlu hitt trios end kiss her, as he had been used to de ; , but the child shrunk with horror from his touch.— 'My dear, baittle,'rvhit id the matter, -L-do hurt-you?':- 'No ; ', she ,replied,. 'you do not hurt.me, bat I .cannot, kiss ioni I , pa,nnot play with yon.' Why not my dear ?'', 'Be• cause you are an infidel !"An Infidel! what -is ,that r 'One • believ,es_ there is bon God, no heaven, , na , hell, no. herealter!.i-: 'And are you' pot, very aoriii: for ''nid;; my dear ?' asked' the fittoidalled• philohopher.— 'Yes indeed, I am eking.? Teturned the with solemnity; 'and I pray to God for you.' 'Do you, indeed ?—what do -you say ?' I say, '0 God, teach this man that.• thou art A ,Sriking illustration of the words of sacred Writ, 'Out Of the inouthiTathabes - and - suck. , ling _thou has ordained_etrength because of thine enemies, that thou tuightest the enemy and avenger. Value of Self-Exertion The value r— of self-exertion appears no where.more decided, than when we follow the track of those who heoamo eminent with out having the advantage ground of instruct tion from which tnstart.' There is seareely anything more gratifying to the mind than the well-Written life of a person whose krug gles_through every di ffi culty, arising from want of books, want of patronage, and who, notwithstanding these impediments, ,contin. nes to struggle till be merges into notice.— Art surrenders some of her choicest secrets, science smiles, and fame or emolument, or 'both, places the snC4essful experimenter far above collation names. Not scantily are 'the niches in the temple of Fame cemented with lasting memorials of persona thug claiming their well deserved hondre-toetsons who have been the .boast. and blessing. of their day by dint of unsubducci Tatience, fortitude, and vivacioits genius. Every department of art'and science Is filled , With them. The stimulating examples are on every band.— From the lowest rank in life they-start forth. They break all the 'shackles of ignorance.— The repulsive frowns of the crowd cannot daunt them. The fears of the timorous they do not listen to. Their native energies urge them forward in the honorable career till success, more at less complete, drowns their glowing efforts. Get an Early Breakfast• A bad custom is prevalent in many famil ies, especially among farmers, of working an hour or tiro before breakfast, attending to °bores', hoeing in the garden, cutting wood, mowing, eta: ' • This is 'con4enient . on many accounts,hut not conducive to health. The prevalent opinion is, that the, morning air is the purest and most healthy and bracing; but the contrary is the tact. At no hour is the air, more filled with dampness, fogs, and miasmas 'than about sunrise. The heat of the min gradually dissipate§ 'these Miasmatic influences as the day advances. An early meal brtices,up the system against these ex ternal influences.' Every i nno knows the lan guor and faintness often experienced Air the first Wont in the morning, and that it is in. creased by exercise and the went of food.— We do_ not agree - with the boarding-bonse regime irhich prescribes along walk before breakfast as a means -of-progioting health.— Probably . the, best custom would be, to fur nish every' member of the family, especially 'those who labor out Of doors, 'with'u cup o f warm :toffee,/ well mixed, Immediately after rising from bed Then let them attend to ; chores, or moivingylming,, etc., for an hour OT fwo, while the' fegids - are-feeding dud thiP breakfastßproparinga her willifeel better; •andtda.utore.—A,ricuiturist.... ,, • . --; 41Otevjuiy. with verdiot. .I , Ve find the prisoner; ao Irishman, gliiffy of murder ' the find degree, nod would' recommend him to the clemency of the court.' The Judge, after , pronouneing the death 'Berift . thee;addreitred Pat es follows : • , 11- 1 1fou.:liavo heard ;pons sentence, but boing' !an._old.map,theso..urkgraute you the privilege of olieoing - youroianner of dtath.' 'il Can't` bd. eartleat,'` said 93y ray-hon.or. as Judge,' was the reply • Pat, 'and thou VII, be akar dy iug, by, good old age ici,tuy bed.' A.yoong prince, whose mind had learned in Somit . degre'e to value religois truth, asked bis;tutor him suitable.; nett 'lotions, that he might be prepared for death.:' Plenty of time for that when you are old er, tens the reply. ' : "Thavebeen t 6 the ehurehysidaud- measured; the:graves, and there are many shorter , rban 1-ara,", • ~ afiaoo:7Ni,em =EMI Atiggleils on.,fi t aalimsortp . . Aseesoo.re , ore very nice top'', in private Jiro, btit'zie'son eas giy . geitilib - offieet they become infernal, ; • ". I. never knew a nian to be elecitod itinnibdiatoly lionifbeinied to poke hie ociite.tuto Other peciplo's bosh:Tea with ?the energy' °Calk 0,4 ~maid. ~ ( 1„ : They all have ao eoqui:ilogAurn mind, and would make log:committee,• Thou go around ,and bold apinqueet vet . f , ,peoplp pproperty. _ . . • ' They dsk more quo i stiorii tilan a tiiitecti out Tinkie: Inteirogatiori 'pOitile atter - out all over them I don't want any of 'em in mine . . This of exposhietl , fellow's property, once a year in played' out..it. ruins ,4i4 i sreolit. pass off for alnillionnito if 4 waau't for these aikissors. " I' had a call fi6in eine at them . ' the - other dny t . when' the following conversation 'en sued : • Assessor-410w many horses have you 00' ' :,::Goggles—"One-4 saw , horse,; 'two r'leg,s br 1 ken., .i , • ~. ~ ' ; . . ttlo ?' - 1 wo false sallies, reit fed. A.- 2 : l Aveitigil Value of nierehandise 7' G.—' ; Three cede , .. A.—::'Vatue *of property owned ad broker 7' • G-:/l:•:''FienSially spoil my things when I break them' I got 'dead broke' once, and I've been a ruined ; man ever since ', ~ r A.—'Value of monies and credits 7' ,G,—'No money; and haven't got credit enough to'bni a red herring.' , A..—‘l 7 ilne of 'money invested in bonds, stooks; Sto 71, : , , G.— 41.25 for a marriage license, and two days iq the stocks.' A..---‘lolite at personal property net eon• inersted'P • G.— 'Amite aud fourteen,children a pen knife with blades broken out, a pair of pants with a-hole-in-the-ktiee; a corkserew,_a_pair_ of old bootS, with the legs cut off, cent with a hole in it, a peeket•book full of brown paper, bull pup, bottle of constitution bitters, ink - telling - '2Oll-ways-to get. riub." • I got tired ;of answering questions, and to save the assessor any further trouble, I vol inteered the information that I bad the measles, cut my back teeth when I was four days old, had the whooping-cough, fever and ague,•eleven feet anti--fivinenWes high, weight ,two hundred and a quarter, was kicked by a -horse when I W3s . ten years old, can read, rite, rithtnetie, em a free American citizen of the I:Tieited' Stale& of America, voted for license, never run for . office, of good moral character and bad habits. Signed, eeided, and delivered .A loafer, while stopping at a tavern ; up the country, used to lounge about the bar and drink other people's liquor.; Not aglass could be left caloile for a moment, would slip up and drink ite entire contents. One day a•stage driver came io, and Called fors stiflPhOio 'Or 'brandy toddy. Jehtt im mediately played possum by leaving his bran dy while he-stepped-to the door. The bait took. On returning he saw his glass empty, and exclaimed with all the diabolical horror he &mid effect: 'Brandy and opium enough to kill forty men I Who drank that pima ?' stnmmered loafir, ready to give up the ghost with affright. 'You are a dead man said the driver. 'What shall I do ?' beseeched the other, who thought himself a gone sucker. 'Down with a pint of lamp oil, or you're a dead man is three minutes answered the wicked driver. And down wont the 'lamp oil, and up came the brandy and opium, to gether with his breakfast. The joke was told and he has never drank other people's liquor since. 'Dar are,' said a sable orator, 'two roads through this , world. De one am ,a broad and narrow road dat leads to perdition, Ind: de other am a narrow and broad road dat leads . to sure destruetiom"lf that am de , ease,' said a sable hearer, 'die ou/led individual take to do woods. A Western paper says 'Wanted, at this office, an editor who can please everybody. Also, a foreman who can so nreange the piaper so as to allow' every. rose's advertise meat, to head the column.' : • i „ An editor repOrta'all Odd Obj.:etioli 'made to hirroper by a gossip-loving old lady ; 'E like your paper very muds., lhavo.only ono objection, to jC , it hasn't deaths enough, , "My boy,! tiniti: a' . dig+tintnitglied: , m arch n t to h s son 'whcplivae , meditating• mntrimony. ; be ettre,:in making your Aeleation . -to , get holt: of apiece of ! goodp, that tvi4,lc,taik. What shonht-a gonna moo carry . With him when calling upon bin affiance'?—Affection in hie heart, perfection in hie ! planners, and confeations in his pockets. A medical• student says he has never beet able to discover, the bone of toutention, and wants to no ,w ‘ bether it, is not . , situated very near the jaw bone.... , • A hiuli seliool kiss beiogill, deemed it . 0 . , , vulgar to say she Was 'bilious,' so she 'own plainri of being 'Williamous:' May br that was the matter with - bor.. , . says if a, quart of strong ,mullen ea is 11.._,Vadtt te a , . hiirse 'afflicted with the bots t will' never fair to . affect •a, cure:. Green—The grass, trees and„ shrubs, shrubs, and he rain who dont advertise. • Wanted—A cement for filling the decayed teeth of saws.. - =l=El IgiBIBER Goaaim. 1 A Good Joke. 5 5.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers