a. The Dallas Post Dallas, PA Wednesday, May 3,1995 5- saying and far, old and young bY L ) TV exposure, when Levant had I ran his three-column produc- been in and out of mental hospi- tion through my word processor tals. (“I was once thrown out of a with the mode key on duplication. EH : mental hospital for depressing the It picked up three rather strange ; i ge other patients”.) He chain-smoked uses of the adjective “soft,” to wit: ; alien tor ; Newports when his hands shook 1) “Located at the soft corner of : : k Hilsl so badly he had to have them lit for North Rockingham and Ashford...” : JEL 1isher i him. 2) “A soft wind blew past the lime § : Paar said, “What do you do for tree in the yard...” and 3) “Wearing exercise?” Levant answered, “I a soft, white beret...” Showed up High time to put my curmudg- stumbleandthenIfallintoacoma.” once in each of three colums. 3 ee hat on. To refresh your CurmauthorityJonWinokursaid, Poor Steve. This is an affliction memories, a curmudgeon (from “Levant was at once pathetic and called, “Infatuation With the Sound here on, “curm” for short) gets prilliant, witty and helpless, the of One's Own Words,” and there is | ticked off at people and things and essence of curmudgeonry in one no cure. His editor brags about his 1 events: . He can't control some- enthralling package, a raw nerve use of “short punchy sentences”, | thing so he debunks or mocks it. of vulnerability eloquently lashing but that's because he flunked He sometimes waxes sarcastic. out at the sources of its torment.” Paragraphing 101. 2 He never, however, waxes wroth. (Some day I'll write like that.) Speaking of the an As: Senior Curm Groucho Marx A noted local would-be curm is Misleader...when they headlined i said, “Let Roth wax himself.” Commissioner Jim Phillips, who the imminent collapse of Wilkes- ] Curms have been with us for probably still has outdoor plumb- Barrean civilization because fe- I 5 ® centuries. Some became famous, ing because that indoor stuffain’'t males were not allowed in to the po both in and out of their fields like here to stay. He called columnist Friendly Sons dinner, I decided to t pianistand quipster Oscar Levant. Steve Corbett (no surprise theyare conduct a survey where I work. Eo Levant barely fits one of curm's buddies) and Corbett reports he There are scads of ladies volun- 4 milder descriptions, that of being asked Jimbo about the LCCC flap, teering there too, and I deliberately i | as soft-hearted as anyone else but which takes up more space in his picked those whose names began E | hiding it under vitriol. Curms paper than Bosnia. Phillips an- with “Mc”, asking each one if she ; | supposedly poke fun at themiddle- swer: “Anymore, I close my eyes were upset over not being allowed i | class in order to preserve their whenever a broad walks by my to attend the St. Pat's affair. My TT nm EI | Noted O7Ms Emploves vi ihaOuarey iE . peaking of Prince of Darkness whatsoever, are as follows...one Debbie Mitchell was recent pg : all » I his later life he vas so far off the Corbett, the Misleader sent him off “What dinner was that?”, two “Are ary, February and March. ly Nartieg © i: i oo Sho a ee oes they BI a; J i Bu gE he i land In January 10 Pa you. Wading? od 17 pavony Offset’'s Customer Service Department and is currently a senior accounts representative. fq words?) Before that however he days ey Hien ced ol Lig Rome Nada, So ors all the Debbie was chosen Employee-of-the-Quarter for her excellent attitude, work ethic and follow- | : | was onebf the funniest meron the oe alled hii back A Te fissabodts through ability. Her personality and knowledge help her handle any situation that requires special | 1 | planed fe Sie said of Doris Day, cause his expense account reached I shall leave for another column Slightion Tuck ii Urine nsinyctions. , he away S Rus ions y hatever oxira gijoris ! J ew her before she was a vir- them for a pasta festival at the the questionofwhyinell that broad Emploveo cl ho than oh ployee-oi-the-Quarter, she received an r gine famous something-Luna restau- wants to get into an all-male mili- ploy e-Quarter certificate, preferred parking for the quarter, a dinner gift certifcate anda | | | Jack Paar gave Levant national rant! tary academy. $200 savings bond from Adam C. Crahall and Nancy Lavan. rf | : 1 SEI Library news : First meeting is held in C ity R | By NANCY KOZEMCHAK library. lic a A is ; : New books at the library: “Let Me Call You Sweetheart” "Honor thy Mother" with affectionate i ~The Book Club of the Back “OrchidsandDiamonds”byRosal- by Mary Higgins Clark is about Mother's Day* Gifts from the West Side Mall. 3 NMotain Metnorial Library met ind Laker begins in 1907 when sweeheart roses—the traditional Lo Register Mother as your "Best Mom" ~ she may win valuable 5 on Monday, April 24 in the com- Juliette Cladel, beguilingly pretty gift oflovers. Yet they had been an free gifts and prizes at the West Side Mall. No purchase ef & 4 munity room for the first time. and refreshinglyinnocent, arrives important clue in the murder ten necessary. oe ~ The room will be dedicated in the in Paris to be launched by her years ago of strikinlgy beautiful Awards include: pd near future, as it is almost com- sister into the world of haute Suzanne Reardon, whose hus- 850. Ins West Sud A Ee ge plete. The treasurer reported a couture. Beginning at the famed band, Skip, is now serving a life a hall = ’ Se = emble SR G ih Hoa | membership of 184 membersand House of Landelle, she meetsand sentence for the murder. Kerry + Dinner for two at Ollie's Family ne, Borvipes. vo total dues collected of $1,089.79 falls in love with a dashingyoung had only begun to work in the « Family Portrait by Rygiel Studio of Photography. we left as a'balance in the bank ac- Russian count who is livinglavie county prosecutor's office at the + A Bagel Basket from Bagel Builders. XX’ £ £ gis NE ne | - count.» Book purchases are made boheme as sculptor. They are timeofthe infamous, “Sweetheart * Tohe il. Tan Salon Gift Certificate. 13 915 oil] 154 I ] | each month for the special book : separated by circumstanceswhen Murder Case” yet she remembers * A Large Pizza from Pasquale's Pizza & Subs. Nis | club shelfin the library. The May = he is called home to take up fam- being impressed by the ability of * 2 Free Meals at Big E's £ at meeting will be held on Monday, ily duties. her new boss. * A Camille Beckman Gift Set from Trader Tom's Port. i STE May 15, and interested visitors “Liz” by C. David Heymann is a “Jump” by Mike Lupica is a * A Gift Certificate from Waldenbooks. : ~ and all members are invited to biography which tells Elizabeth candid expose of what goes on *:5 Free Bingo Games al West Side Mall Bingo. - attend. Taylor's remarkable story as it behind the scenes in the billion- Pick up "Best Mom" regisiration forms at West Side Mall Stores and Services, gn The project which the library has never been told before. Sheis dollar business known as profes- Best Mom" 10 be selected in 2 publit drawing a runs with the cooperation of the an icon, one of the most watched, sional baseball. It's an inside look Presentation: Saturday, May 13. *Mother’s Day - Sunday, May 14 bf Dallas Rotary in loaning wheel- photographed, and gossiped- at the insanity of today’s media, | chairs and other equipment to about personalities of our time. its sharklike frenzy to get the big COMING EVENTS - SATURDAY, MAY 13 } 4 needy people is a very popular Childhood sensation and youth- story. And above all, J ump is a Jolly Joe and The Bavarians - 1:00 to 2:30 P.M. ¢ Cub Scout Pack No. 247 Bake Sale ! | endeavor. At the moment, there ful object of desire who was con- searing vision of the life of a Retired Senior Volunteers with Souvenirs ¢ Carrousel to benefit Back Mountain Kiwanis - i oly De mscleiialis in Jig othe {rolled by her mother aie Mode dw Sports her be gl MALL HOURS: Open Daily 10 A.M. to 9 PM. Sunday 12 Noon to 5 P.M. f ack Mountain resiaents. ere scar-winning acress, seductress its glory, danger and potential for | is also available crutches, walk- and eight-time wife, champion of tragedy. It's about Mike, a re- : WEST SIDE MALL WEST SIDE |. ‘» @ crs, canes and other equipment, funding, purveyor of perfumesand spected and entertaining sports At the Nartows, Wyoming Avenue. Route 11, Edwardsville, South of Ringsion Corners W ] which may be borrowed from the jewelry. Her greatest role is her- columnist. oe Tell our advertisers you saw TIRIDV- 0 them in The Post. They'll ! a £ : . . . 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Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers