Freeland tribune., August 25, 1902, Image 4

FREELAND TRIBUNE,
Established 1838.
PUBLISHED EVERY
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BY THB
TRIBUNE PRINTING COMPANY, Limited.
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SUBSCRIPTION RATES.
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The date when the subscription expires is on
the address label of each paper. Prompt re
newals must be made at the expiration, other
wise the subscription will be discontinued.
FREELAND, L'A., AUGUST 25, 1902.
Ht NTVLRT bFUKC. AliAllN.
The l)og Thnt Served the Parpoae of
u Ventriloquist.
The following story is told of a ven
triloquist, now famous, but at the time
of tills happening so hard up he used to
walk between the cities where he wus
to appear. On one of these tours he
came to Philadelphia on foot, and on
the road he picked up a miserable little
dog "because it looked so much like he
felt." The story will explain what he
came of the dog.
The tlrst house he came to wus a sa
lovn. aud of course he wanted a drink.
He had no money, but went iu anyhow
to see what he could do. The proprie
tor, a German, said:
"Well, what will you have?"
lie said, "I'll take a little whisky,"
and then, turning to the dog, he asked:
"What will you have?"
The answer came very promptly:
"I'll take a ham sandwich."
Tile German wus so surprised he ul
most fainted. lie looked at the dog a
moment and theu asked:
"What did you say?"
The dog replied:
"I said a ham sandwich."
Hans thought it wonderful that a dog
should he able to talk and asked who
had trained him, how long it had taken,
etc., and wound up with:
"llow much you take for him?"
"Oh," said Mr. Ventriloquist, "I
wouldn't sell him at any price, but I
am a little hard up now, and if you will
lend me $.lO I'll leave him with you till
I bring hack the money."
"All right," said Hans. "I Just want
htm for a little while so I can show
him to some smart people I know
around here."
So everything was settled, the money
paid, etc., and as the ventriloquist went
out lie turned and waved his hand to
the dog and said:
"Well, gopdby, Jack. I'll come back
soon."
The dog looked at him and said:
"You mean sou of a gun, to sell me
fur SSO after all I've done for you! So
help me Moses, I'll never speak another
Word as long as I live!"
And he didn't.—Philadelphia Times.
AlivnjH WILHI) Before They Pruy,
Moslems always bathe before they
pray. They would not dare enter the
house of prayer with unclean hands or
feet or faces; hence when the muez
zin's call is heard from the minaret
live times a day faithful Moslems go
first to the fountains that are found
outside of every mosque and bathe
themselves. There are Innumerable
bathhouses also in which genuiue
Turkish baths and uiussage are given.
At the same time their houses are
positively filthy—too filthy, as a rule,
for human beings to occupy—aud the
streets of Constantinople aud every
other Turkish town are Indescribable
In their nastiness. The clothing they
wear is as dirty as their bodies are
clean, and their food is often unlit for
sanitary reasons.—Chicago Heeord-ller
ald.
The I,ion and the t'nlcorn.
The unicorn came 'into the royal
arms with James I. It belongs to the
royal arms of Scotland. The signet
ring of Mary, mother of James, is la
existence, having a unlconi on It. In
the royal arms therefore one support
er represents England, the other Scot
land.
The lion and the unicorn occur also
in ancient Buddhist scriptures, placed
together as supporters. Both of these
animals also are seen playing draughts
together in the well known Egyptian
painting. But the oldest connection
of the two is in the blessing of Jacob
and of Moses.—Notes and Queries.
An Advantage of Armor.
"That medimvul armor must have
boon very uncomfortable," said a vis
itor at the museum.
"Yes," answered the man with darn
ed clothes, "but there was one satis
faction about it—a man could always
take down a suit of it in entire con
fldence that the moths hadn't got Into
it."—Washington Star.
Low Fare Excursion to Niagara FUIIH
Via the Lohfgh Valley Railroad, Sep
tember 2, 1902. Tickets will bo sold Au
gust 31, good to return to September 2,
aud will be honorod on any train except
the Rlack Diamond express.
Fare from Freeland for the round
trip, $8.55.
Consult agents for further particulars.
The Lehigh Valley Railroad
Will sell tickets to East Bloomsburg
and return August 28 and 29 at the low
rate on one faro for round trip, good to
return to August 30, on account of the
centennial colebratlou to he held at
Bloomsburg, August 2H and 29.
Consult agouts for further particulars.
VIRTUES OF LIGHT LUNCHES
American AcntencHN Dne In Part to
the Midday RopastN.
A groat many people feel they have
done their whole duty by sound hy
giene when they denounce the "quick
lunch" of the American business world
as the sum of all gastronomic iniqui
ties. But In so far as the quick lunch
is a light lunch, and it usually is this,
it may be a blessing in disguise. In
fact, an observing foreigner lays much
of the acuteness and business energy
of Americans to the fact that for the
most part the American business and
professional man eats lightly, even if
hurriedly, and drinks but little at the
midday meal; hence his mind is clear,
he is not sluggish and he Is able to do a
good deal between 1 o'clock and 0.
As a contrast the foreign observer
mentions the heavy midday eating
habits of certain European countries,
notably Germany, and to that he at
tributes the lethargy that is calling for
all the highest efforts of the best minds
to counteract. In this he is in har
mony with on American specialist,
who in decrying a heavy midday meal
said that "the plan of eating a heavy
meal at noon and returning to work
almost directly from the dinner table
explains the prevalence of dyspepsia
in countries not enjoying the long aft
ernoon recess of the tropics." Since
the light lunch and the quick lunch do
not fit in with this criticism those who
have blamed our national dyspepsia
on the "busy man's bite" had better
look u little further into the matter.
Perhaps we do eat too much, as eer
tain diatetic specialists tell us, but 11
looks as if we were slowly approximat
ing, the country over, to an ideal dietet
ic system, for Americans, which makes
the lunch the slightest meal and the
evening meal the most substantial
meal of the day, whatever it may be
called. And if the quick lunch of the
business world has had any effect in
this direction it is not the unmixed evil
some declare it to be.—Philadelphia
Press.
THE FIRST AUTOMOBILE.
It WUH an Ancient, Self Moving
Slirfnc of IlnecliiiN.
Few, perhaps, are aware that the
first automobile, considered in the sense
of a vehicle containing within Itself
powers of locomotion, of which there
is any authentic account was a self
moving shrine of Bacchus.
This was the invention of Heron of
Alexandria, who describes it in his
work on automatic mechanism. The
shrine in question was mounted upon
two supporting and two driving wheels.
On the axle of the driving wheels was
a drum, about which was wound a
roi>e, which passed upward through
the space on one side of the shrine over
pulleys and was fastened to the ring of
a ponderous lead weight, which rested
upon a quantity of dry, fine sand. The
escape of this sand through a small
hole in the middle of the floor of the
compartment containing it allowed the
lead weight gradually to descend and
by pulling upon the cord caused the
shrine to move slowly forward in a
straight line.
Heron describes the method of ar
ranging and proportioning the wheels
In case it was desired that the shrine
move in a circular path. He also shows
how the shrine can be constructed to
move in a straight line at right angles
to each other.
Officials of the patent office overlook
ed the device of Ileron when they
granted patents on slot machines, not
withstanding that previously Thomas
Eubank, commissioner of patents in
1850, illustrated and described Heron's
invention. The mechanism of the lat
ter is almost identical with that in the
modern device and simply serves as an
other proof of the saying, "There is
nothing new under the sun."—Wash
ington Times.
SppuiiK xi SnrpriNe.
The man had not settled with the
grocer lor nearly six months.
The grocer, needing some money,
presented his 1)111.
"Surely," said the man, looking in
surprise at the long list of items,
"there must be some mistake In this."
"No mistake at nil, sir," answered
the grocer belligerently. "I am pre
pared to make affidavit that every item
is correct and that the footing is right
to a cent. When an account runs as
long as tliis one has run and the cus
tomer hasn't kept track of it, ho near
ly always kicks."
"Oil, I'm not kicking," said the man,
proceeding to write 11 cheek for the
amount. "What surprises 111 cis that
the bill is only about half as big as I
expected."—Chicago Tribune.
Dreaded the ReoultH.
Doctor—You'll have to accustom
yourself to one cigar after meals.
Patient—Oh, doctor, that's pretty
hard.
Doctor—Tut, tut! After a time you'll
find it easy to give up even the cigar
after meals.
Patient—But I'm sure I'll be giving
up my meals after the cigars. I've nev
er smoked, you kuow.—Catholic Stand
ard and Times.
All Artful Dodurer.
"How is your boy getting along nt
school?"
"Splendidly, splendidly! I tell you,
my friend, tills boy of mine will make
ills way in the world, don't you fear.
During the time lie's been going to
school they have had tlilrty-two exam
inations, and he's managed to dodge
every one of them."—Glasgow Evening
Times.
The man who never mnkes mlstnkes
does not know the real pleasure there
is in beiug right—Saturday Evening
Post. . y
The domestic fowl is not mentioned
In the Old Testament,
rsrpsTOßiA
;Jj For Infants and Children.
CASTORIAI The Kind You Have
RasMsa;,M I Always 'Bought
AVegctable Preparationfor As- IS ' "
simUating the Food andßegula- | _ #
ling the Stomachs arclßowels of a tll6 W f
1 Signature /Au
PromotesDigeslion.Cheeriul- ■ft M - f ll^
ness and Rest.Contains neither | p W. Jf .1^
Opium, Morphine nor Mineral. i|j 01 /(\ *\ if
H AyV.Ar
flea'pe of OIdLrSAKUELPiTCHER fl | l/VA'
Urn/Jan Seal- iij|. ■ V R
liochtlle Salts I ||| I
jLua* Seed, t- V .Mj Je I % Bfl
fttixmiht - . ) 51 fl | ll 1 111
Bi CaiiH/mUeSbda +■ I . I|| I A 111 * 111
Clarified Sugar | fl JF 0 ■■
nTateryrwn rtavor. / • |l|' I II
Aperfecl Remedy forConslipa- S | ■ UoD
Fion, Sour Stomach, Diarrhoea I I lir
Worms .Convulsions .Feverish- El wT P- „ rt,,-„
ness and Loss of Sleep. '1 \J* fQI II VU !
Facsimile Signature oF i
i|gg|||l Thirty Years
"fflpflcrnßlA
EXACT COPY OF WRAPPER. 1 HIIBA lj I II IB fl BI
THE CENTAUR COMPANY. NEW YORK CITV.
BtCUIVUHAND STORES.
Modern IIOUSON Vastly Different
From the Old Time Jankshops.
"One of the curious aspects of mod
ern business conditions," said a philo
sophic business man, "is the growth of
what we call the secondhand business.
There are more secondhand houses
now than ever before, and I attribute
it to the changes in style which are
constantly taking place in all things
which enter into the social life. "When
one speaks of a secondhand store,
there are many persons who will think
simply of secondhand furniture, bu
reaus, wardrobes, tables, beds and
things of that sort. But the business
has become so extensive that one may
find almost anything in either the use
ful or the ornamental line in these
places.
"I am not speaking of the curio
shops either, where you can find any
thing from an antiquated penny to the
rarest and most elaborate tiling in an
artistic way, old pictures and new
ones, old books, old anything you may
call for. I have in mind the regular
secondhand houses which do a com
plete and up to date secondhand busi
ness. Go into one of these places and
see for yourself the changes which
have been wrought in the business.
"Time was when one of these places
was a Junksliop merely, a sort of old
furniture hospital or almshouse, a
place for chairs with broken arms and
tables witli broken legs and beds with
scarred heads and old clocks with
broken faces and missing hands and
all that sort of thing. But the condi
tions are different now. You see, peo
ple want to keep up with the proces
sion. Styles are always changing. A
new kind of furniture comes in. The
furniture on hand is good as new, but
one must have the new thing, this new,
magnificent kind of sideboard or this
new colored bedroom suit or this latest
tiling in something else. The old stuff
is sold and the new kindjjought.
"Tills is one reason, and the main rea
son, for the growth of the secondhand
business. Of course the change has
not affected merely furniture and
household goods. It lias applied to all
the utilities and all the ornaments, and
hence a vast variety of tilings may be
found in the secondhand store."—New
Orleans Times-Democrat.
Frank Stockton and Poetry.
Frank Stockton never could write a
successful poem. In tills connection
the novelist frequently tolil n good sto
ry on himself. In his youth in con
junction with his brother John he
wrote many poems with which he af
flicted the editors of various Canadian
periodicals. The effusions always
came back. The editor of one maga
zine was an especial target of the
Stocktons, but as none of their poems
was ever accepted the brothers came
to the conclusion that the editor had
no conception of good poetry.
To prove their belief they hunted up
and dispatched to him an ode, little
known, by Milton. Within two days
they received a cheek and a letter of
thanks. "I came to the conclusion that
that editor knew poetry when ho saw
it after all," Mr. Stockton used to say,
"and gave up trying to write it."—Phil
adelphia Record.
Onr Woman's Way of I'll I lit! i, fz.
The bright wife of a bright Philadel
phia newspaper man has to do some of
the housework herself, as her hus
band'.'! income does not Justify the lux
ury of employing help. The other day,
finding out that the floor needed paint
ing, she procured the necessary mate
rials and early in the afternoon set to
work.
When her husband returned in the
early evening, he found her in tears in
the center of the room. She had paint
ed the floor all around herself, and
tliere she was, on a HCtle dry island m
the middle, afraid of crossing the wet
paint for fear of spoiling all lier work,
ller husband, instead of imitating Sir
Walter Raleigh, procured a hoard and
released her from durance vile. Then
he meanly told the story.—Philadel
phia Telegraph.
A Former Predicament.
The cook in a southern family was
fat, black and sixty and a devoted
church woman. A "laboring brother"
In the same church, a widower with a
dozen children, was so assiduous in ids
attentions that he could he seen haunt
ing the kitchen at all hours. The mis
tress of the house finally said to the
cook:
"I do hope you don't mean to marry
that old man, with all those children."
"No, ma'am," was the reply. "I done
been lcotched in dat predicament once
already," which was the first intima
tion that had been given in a long
service that she was entitled to wear
the weeds of widowhood.—Detroit Free
Press.
Huko'n EtfotlNm.
Victor Hugo had a very exalted opin
ion of himself. One of his intimates
called on him once and found him
walking in his garden, apparently
thinking deeply. The visitor asked the
great French poet what he was medi
tating upon. "I was wondering," re
plied the poet, "what I should say
(o the Creator when I meet him. Can
you imagine what I would say?"
"Yes." answered the poet's friend.
"You would say, 'My dear confrere.' "
Her Generonlty.
Madge—l hear you take your sister
to tln matinee every week.
De Garry—l do.
Madge—lf you'll take me there as
ctften as that, I'll promise to be a sis
ter to you.—New York Times.
It doesn't matter so much how many
mistakes Moses made if we only fol
low up the advice he left us when lie
did hit the nail on the head.—American
Tkresherman.
Comparing? Families.
Harold—My ancestors were nil ban
est, but they were not stylish.
"That's all right. My ancestors were
all stylish, but so far as 1 cun learn
they wouldn't pay their debts."—De
troit Free Tress.
Stiort nnil Informal.
"Have you had a bousewarmlng in
your new dwelling yet?"
"l'cs; my wife fired the redheaded
cook the other day."—Chicago Trib
une.
Jf Harness il
You can make your har- /{s}'£
■ ■ using EUREKA IInZ j
len^then 118 Ufe—make It kW
TpURIEKAr
I Harness Oil 1
JH|f makes a poor looking
H pedal ly prepared to with- Ira®
IHf/ a Until tlio weather. iwW
HI Wade by STANDARD Oil CO. wL
MISCELLANEOUS ADVERTISEMENTS.
BX)R SALE.—Fine plot of ground, 50x150
foot, with two single residences, stable,
outbuildings, etc.; will sell all or part. Apply
to Williuui Biggins, Froeluud.
g|7tLi BB ta rrtiJ rßll ga rrtj I
[ln [§
1 Emiitlii to I
ffl J & ffl
p|
I Fnrnislinp |
|fs| p]
pj We have all the little things that a pi
r-ij gentleman can wish for his summer aj
S dressing. Our "little necessities of Is
IS life," all of which must be proper to E
m make the "finished man," are faultless |Ej
ji§ in every detail. If you want a pair of [@l
fSj shoes, a hat, a shirt, a tie, or a pair of rSJ
a socks in the handsome, stylish colors of j£J]
E summer, you can get them here.
E Although our goods are fancy in E
[e| looks, as they should be, they are not [e|
pi fancy-priced. pi
p] We can supply you with the latest pi
raji productions of the market at prices to al
s suit the times. S
|K3 P|
E Step in, and see what we can do for E;
® you. p|
I McMenamin's Gents' Furnishing, 1
I Hat and Sloe Store. ['■]
p| South Centre Street. |§J
|| §|
Nature's Tonic.
A ride in the open,
For Health,
For Pleasure,
For Business.
You should ride a
Bicycle,
RAMBLER.
$35 to $65.
The 1902 Models
Bristle With
New Ideas.
CalliOiaiiie.
A complete stock al
ways on hand.
For Sale By
Walter D. Dans,
Freeland.
RAILROAD TIMETABLES
LEHIGH VALLEY RAILROAD.
Muy 18, 1902.
ARRANGEMENT OF PASSENGER TRAINS.
LEAVE PUEELAND.
6 12 a m l'or Weatherly, Munch Chunk
Alluntowii, Bethlehem, Easton, Phila
delphia und New York.
7 29 a in lor Sandy Hun, White Haven,
Wilkes-Barre, Pittston and Seranton.
8 15 a m for Hazleton, Weatherly, Mauch
Chunk. Allentown, Bethlehem, Easton,
Philadelphia, New York, Deluno and
Pottsville.
9 58 a in for Iluzleton, Delano, Muhanoy
City, Shenandoah und Mt. Carmel.
I 1 45 u in for Weatherly, Muuch Chunk, Al
lentowo, Bethlehem, EuHton, Phila
delphia, New York, Hazlcton, Delano,
Mahunoy City, Shcnuiidouh and Mt.
Carmel.
II 41 a m for White Haven, Wilkes-Barre,
Seranton and the West.
444 pm for Weatherly, Mauch Chunk, Al
lentown, Bethlehem, Easton, Philadel
phia, New York, Iluzleton, Delano
Mahunoy City, .Shenandoah, Mt. Carme.
and Pottsville.
0 35 l> m for Handy Hun, White Haven,
Wilkes-Barre, Heranton and all points
West.
7 29 pm for Hazlcton.
AH HIVE AT FRBELAND.
7 29 a in from Pottsville, Delano and Iluz
leton.
9 12 a in from New York, Philadelphia, Eas
ton, Bethlehem, Allentown, Mmieh
Chunk, Weatherly, Hazleton, Mahunoy
City, Shenandoah and Mt. Carmel
9 58 a in from Scrantou, Wilkes-Barre and
White Haven.
1141 am from Pottsville, Mt. Carmel, Shen
andoah, Mahunoy City, Delano and
Hazleton.
12 35 P in from New York, Philadelphia,
Easton, Bethlehem, Allentown, Maueh
Chunk and Weatherly.
4 44 P in from Seranton, Wilkes-Barre and
White Haven.
6 35 p in from New York, Philadelphia,
Easton, Bethlehem Allentown, IVfauch
Chunk, Weatherly, Mt. Carmel, Shenan
doah, Mahunoy City, Deluuo and Hazle
ton.
7 29 P ni from Seranton, Wilkes-Barre and
White Haven.
For further information Inquire of Ticket
A Rents.
ROLLIN H.WI LBUR, General Superintendent,
2 Cortlandt Street. New York City,
CHAS. S. LEE, General Passenger A Rent,
„ . r,,, . Portland t Street, New York City.
G.J. GIL DltOY, Division Superintendent,
Hazleton, Pa.
DELAWARE, SUSQUEHANNA AND
A SCHUYLKILL RAILROAD.
Time table in effect May ID. IHOI.
Trains leave Drlfton for Jeddo, Eckley, Hazle
brook. Stockton, Beaver Meadow Road, Roan
and Hazleton Junction at 800 a in, daily
except Sunday; and 7 07 a m, 2 118 p m, Sunday.
Trains leave Drlfton for Oneidu Junction,
Garwood Road, Humboldt Road, Oneida and
Shoppton at 800 am, daily except Sun
day; and 7 07 a ra, 2 JIB p m, Sunday.
Trains leave Hazleton Junction for Oneida
Junction, Harwood Road, Humboldt Road,
Oneida and Sheppton at B 32,11 10 am,441 pm,
daily except Sunday; and 7 87 a m, 3 11 p m,
Sunday.
Trains leave Derlnßer for Tomhlcken, Cran
berry, Hai wood, Hazleton Junction and Roan
ats, i™ |r except Sunday; and 387
a m, 6 07 p m, Sunday.
Trains leave bheppton for Beaver Meadow
Road, Stockton, Hazle Brook, Eckley, Jeddo
and Drifton at 5 20 p m, daily, except Sunday:
and N 11 a m, 8 44 p m, Sunday.
Trains leave Hazleton Junction for Beaver
Meadow Road, Stockton, Hazle Brook, Eckley,
Jeddo ami Drifton at 640 p m, dally,
except Sunday; and 10 10 a m, 6 40 p m, Sunday.
All trains connect at Hazleton Junction with
electric cars for Hazleton, Jeanesville, Audun
ricd and other points on the Traction Com
pany's lino
MTTHBR R. (JVMTN AUNORL-FRNRFONI
Promptlj Don. at the Tribune Office,