The Parisian composer who played the piano twenty-four hours "on end" went mad in consequence. What hap pened to the neighbors is not stated. There is a passenger steamer on the Elbe where the warning against speak ing to the man at the wheel is display ed in four different languages. This is the English version; "To the helm marine gentleman, try conversation not." A Frenchman who was making his first voyage to America in company with his Americap wife, and whose b rlty t> 1 Vm dean idioms was somewhat limited, pointed to the sky scrapers, as he came 'nto the harbor and said "What is it you call those high buildings? Oh, yes! I remember; it is heaven sweepers!" The legislature of Newfoundland has provided liberally for the installa tion of a cold storage system for the fisheries of the colony. All the fish now caught there are cured and salted for the market, found principally in the Mediterranean ports and Brazil, and it is hoped to open up new markets for the codfish, salmon, and other fish and lobsters in a fresh state. The playing of billiards by students has been prohibited by the state agri cultural college of Oregon. The action was by resolution of the faculty, and makes suspension the penalty of vio lation of the rule. In making the an nouncement President Gatch said an examination of the college records showed that SO percent of the failures in class work were by students who frequented billiard halls. The New York police arrested a pro fessional "fake fit thrower" the other day. It was his practice to fall down on the sidewalk in front of a fine pri vate residence and pretend to have a fit, whereupon he would usually be carried into the house, dqsed with re storatives and presented with money by the sympathetic proprietor, after re citing a hard luck story. By this means he sometimes made as much as $lB or $25 a day. The Dangen Suspended railway in Germany is a novel institution. The cars run on a single overhead rail, the trucks being on the roof of the train. The truck wheels are mounted tandem, and are driven by electricity transmit ted through a contact rail andslipshoe. The oscillation of the trains is limited by projections on the truck frames. In running around curves the car swings into an inclined position which is scarcely perceptable to the passen gers. Each car holds fifty passengers. The rate of speed is now limited to twenty-five miles an hour. An auto matic block system is used, the signals being regulated by the cars themselves. In general aspect the system is like an elevated road. It would be extremely edifying to know of what credentials any one is authorized to give voice to the opinion of the American public. The public hears its opinions quoted a good deal. The public learns much about public taste, public manners, public morals in a most public way. The public polite ly listens to every invidious criticism of itself and often feels hypersensitive about its own wants after they have been described. Indeed, the public has never wanted friends candid enough to scold, cajole and pity it. Never was an offspring more hopelessly un weaned than the public, and no child was never more untiringly quoted by its mother. But who is the nurse or guardian angel that hovers around the cradle of the public and makes its thought audible to itself? queries the New York Commercial Advertiser. It is not surprising that certain class es of people in Europe, and especially guides and the poorly paid hotel and restaurant waiters, should appear in the eyes of the American travelers as robbers. The newly made millionaires who have learned that it is the correct thing to "splurge" in Europe give to and foreigners and erroneous idea of the American. For example, an adver tisement in the London Times tells that an American wants to buy "one of the stately English homes" for which he would "give a fancy price." It must have at least thirty bedrooms, stab ling for twenty horses, a great deal of land, and good shooting, etc. The late head of the Armour establishment went all over Europe scattering Ave- dollar tips to waiters —often as many as twenty waiters in a single hotel re ceiving ?5 dollara each during a single day's stay. When an American who is not reckless with his money follows in the wake of such a spendthrift he is looked on as a miser when he offers the customary tip; his wants are studious ly neglected, and every effort is made to compel him iO show the generous hand, states the Philadelphia Record. THE GIRL WHO LAUGHS. The Rirl who laughs—God tless her 1— Thrice blesses herself the while; No music of earth Has nobler worth Than that which voices a smile. The girl who laughs—life needs her; There is never an hour so sad But wakes and thrills To the rippling trills Of the laugh of a lass who's glad. —Ladies' Home Journal. iINTFioiTI J BT PAIS. , "But does it never occur to you," asked the curate as he poured two teaspoonsful of coffee into his cup, "does it never occur to you to ask yourself what is the good of it all?" "Never," said the millionaire with decision. "You never regret—you see, after all money is not everything, is it?" "That observation is frequently made," said the millionaire, thought fully, "and it is misleading. Money is not everything, but it is much nearer to being everything than anything else is. There is quite a good deal of cant talked about money. It is comforting cant, of course. One gets the same kind of thing about birth. Personal ly, I always mistrust anything that comforts." "But is it all cant? Take the ques tion of health, for instance. Money cannot give health, and it is better to be well than to be wealthy." "I often wonder why people go on saying that money cannot give health, when they must see every day that money does give health, and that pov erty causes illness. If work is injuri ous to me I can afford to give it up. If I have to winter abroad I can do It easily, without considering the ques tion of expense. If an operation is re quired, I can pay the man to do it, and under the very best conditions. The poor man can do none of these things. My ordinary way of life is much more healthy than his. The food that I eat is of the best quality and in perfect condition, while he eats adulterated rubbish and stale garbage. His house is ill warmed and insanitary, and mine is perfect in these respects. The poor man dies, and in nine cases out of ten it serves him right." "Isn't that rather a terrible thing to say?" said the curate, nervously, playing with his spoon. "In nine cases out of ten poverty is the result of stupidity. You blame a man for his moral defects, and I blame him for his mental defects; one is just as fair as the other. And both the mental and moral defects are about equally capable of remedy." "Surely not," said the curate, earn estly. "A sinner may be reclaimed, but you cannot give a man an intel lect." "You should use the same word in both cases. You may reclaim a man's intellect just as you reclaim his mor als. I have dont it. I did it in my own case. I admit that mental re clamation, like moral reclamation, is rare." "It all seems so dreary and fatalis tic," said the curate. "So it is," the millionaire agreed cordially. "As I told you, I don't like comforting cant. The best fable that ever was written was the fable of the fox and the sour grapes. Everybody's a gentleman who feels like it, and wealth is not everything. Oh, yes! I know these consolatory stories for those who are out of it. But they are only stories, and, as a matter of fact, wealth is everything, as near as you can get it What wealth cannot do nothing else can." The curato seemed to reflect for a moment. "Tell me, 1 ' he said darkly, "do you value the affection of your relatives and friends and those whom you have about you?" "Of course," the millionaire owned. "Perhaps one values that most of all." "And do you mean to tell me," asked the curate, flushed with triumph, "that that kind of thing can be bought with money?" The millionaire concentrated his at tention on his cigar with the air of a man who can provide a platitude with out troubling to think. "But, of course," he said, "you can buy affection as easily as you can buy a pound of tea, and on almost the same commercial principles." The curate stuck to it. "Are you sure that it is genuine af fection?" he said. "There," said the millionaire, "I don't trouble myself. I get respect and subservience while I am there, and really I don't care what they say when lam not there. You see, I don't think about these people very much. It would annoy me if they showed hostility to me while I was with them. It would give one all the trouble of having to think of new things to say. But they are perfectly welcome to say what they like behind my back, because they haven't got any money worth mention ing, or any position, and they don't matter. But as a matter of fact, money can generally buy genuine af fection, an affection that is just as real as that whore there has been no value received." "Really, this is too cynincal," said the curate. "Not at all," replied the millionaire; "in fact, I am on the whole les cyn ical than you. I still believe in grati tude, and it would appear that you don't. Generosity is an admirable and popular quality. You must admit that. And it is very easy for a rich man to be generous; he just plugs in a few present, as a gardener puts in seeds, and afterwards he gets the fruits —quite genuine fruits, too. I sometimes wonder how anybody who is not a millionaire believes in genuine affection; it is certainly a luxury for the rich." "Well," said the curate, with a sigh, "I must not let you off. We owe $250 on the Cnurch Restoration at St. Bar nabas. I'll see if it makes me think more highly of you." "I never subscribe; I either do • thing or I leave it alone. I'll tell you what I'll d&. I'll wipe out this debt for you altogether if you preach the opin ions you have heard from me from the pulpit." The little curate got quite excited. "I'd sooner steal the money and then cut my throat," he said. "If I could have all your money at the price of having your views of life as well, I wouldn't do it." The millionaire smoked for a mo ment or two in silence. "You're not a bad sort of fool," he said at last. —Black and White. ODDITIES OF THE ARCTICS. How the Animal* Change Color A Do iuentic Tyrant. During the summer months much of the land becomes free from snow and ice under the joint action of sun and wind, and the snow that resists re moval is darkened by a deposit of line dust particles. In this season the ani mals wear their darker clothing, and birds have, byway of change, a less gaudy plumage. The background against which they stand would betray their presence if the white dress of winter were worn now; then, too, it makes it possible for the foxes, ducks, and other animals and birds to gratify a natural vanity by putting on, for a time at least, another coat. In winter, white is again worn. The background is now snow and ice, and the only chance which the Arctic chicken now has to deceive the fox is to roll up like a ball, and simulate a lump of ice. The ice-bear is equipped successfully to creep upon the ever watchful seal, because he looks like the other blocks of white around him. He remembers, however, his black nose, and is said to be sharp enough to cover it with his paw while approach ing his dozing prey. The seal docs not stop Ills search for food until he has completely satisfied his excellent appetite; then he takes a good nap, lying upon the very edge of the ice, or as close as possible to his breathing hole. The slightest sound will awaken him, and, without waiting to find out the source or direction, he rolls into the water. He can stay un der for only 35 minutes, but where he will come up none can tell. This no one knows better than the bear; and if the bear realizes that it is impossible to steal upon the leeward side of the seal, having his black nose covered with his paw and his bloodshot eyes closed, when the seal has his open and on the watch, he looks about for a fa vorablo point of departure, dives un der the ice, and if he rightly judges the distance and direction, he comes up at the very spot where the seal had ex pected to go down. The seal's fate is thus settled, and the bear's shrewd ness earns its reward. The beautiful eider-duck has often been cited as an ideal mother, and touching stories are told of her pluck ing the down from her own breast to make the nest in which to hatch her young. It is also said that if the hunters take the down, she will despoil herself for the second time, not calling upon the selfish drake until sho has literally stripped herself. The drake is de clared to be strict in keeping his mate to her duties, insisting that she shall attend to the work of hatching. If the duck ventures upon a walk, he does not offer to take her place while she goes gadding about, but perhaps know ing she is to fond of idleness, cruelly drives her back to her household duty. The duck lays only five eggs, and if she feels that her nest is large enough and warm enough to hold more, she boldly robs her neighbors, carrying the eggs, one at a time, under her wing, until she has seven or eight. However, when the brood is hatched, the drake becomes the teacher to the young. Not in swimming, for that comes naturally, but in diving, which is a means of flight as well as for find ing food. The little duck, coming in to life above water, hesitates to risk it by going under, nor will he follow the oft-repeated example of Ills parents. When it becomes necessary to resort to force, the drake comes quietly near the unwilling pupil, suddenly throws a wing over him, and dives down. The little one is let go under the water, and, coming to the surface unharmed, even if somewhat startled, he is ready to start diving on his own account. — St. Nicholas. Th Drift of Modnrn Kngllsh. A Washington resident, who is so protul of her home that sho sometimes sins against the rubric of fashionable form by remaining in town the year round, was recently assailed by an ul tra-conventional friend In ultra-mod ern language. "I knew that you usually wintered here," she said, "but I was astonished to hear that you had summered here." "I have not only wintered here and summered here." answered the reck lessly unfashionable one, "but I shall astonish you still further"—and the threat was borne out—"when I tell you that I always fall here, and I have sometimes sprung here." —Lippincott's Magazine. A Devoted Pnrnnt. "Dawson is one of the most devoted fathers I ever knew." "How so?" "He's so proud of his children. Why, say, he often lies awake half the night trying to think up clever things that he can credit them with saying.' Cleveland Plain Dealer. THE RUSES OF THE QUAIL BIRD'S WONDERFUL ART OF HID. INC FROM ITS FOES. An Indian Can Trail a D*er -Where a White Man Can See Only Unmarked Ground, But He Cannot Detect a Hid ing Quail. Any mnn wlio has shot quail steadily will have noted the bird's tricks and munners in hiding. It is the quail's instinct to trust first and last to its protective coloration. Bevies which have not been much shot at will take wing more readily than others, because their members have not learned that they are least safe when in the air. In well-hunted fields quail will lie until the dog's nose or the man's foot is within a yard of them. There is no doubt that however thick the cover and skilfully chosen the hiding plnce the dog often sees them before they flush, but the mnn seldom does. It is easy enough for the man to tell when the dog does see as well as scent his quarry. The animal's eyes show it plainly. Then, If he chooses, the man may stand motionless and search the ground and cover again and again, but the chances are much against his distin guishing any bird forms. This is the more singular, as he knows exactly the size, shape and color of the quail and ought to be able to pick it out. Probably the human eye takes In too much territory at once and lins an in disposition to focus itself upon a small space. Indians are by inheritance and con stant practice the best trailers in the world. They will see a deer's track, or the slight impression of the wolf's paws, where a white man can see only unmarked ground, but an Indian can not see a hiding quail any better than another human. Tills has been tried often. Indeed, Indian youths on the Western reserva tions pursue quail viciously with bows and arrows and kill many, but they shoot them when perched in high trees. They do not make ground shots often. The best hand at this kind of sport tbo country has ever known was the lute Maurice Thompson, who was much of a toxopbllite and sang and wrote the praises of the bow. He used the old-fashioned weapon for two reasons: There was a good deal of the poet in him. and he was a born poacher. Tile latter was the stronger reason. The bow makes no noise, and the farmer in his field n quarter mile away did not know that a city dweller was murdering his birds within call. Nothing so delighted Thompson as the sight of a weather-beaten sign, showing dimly: "No Shotin on This Frernis." That was the "premis" ho wanted to shoot on. The farmer could got even with him only by finding his bicycle hidden somewhere near the road and breaking out its spokes. In hunting quail with the bow Thompson displayed great patience and knowledge of the habits of the birds. He knew where they were to be found and moved slowly nnd gently. Often he would hear them running and cheeping before he snw them. He would drive them thus for 100 or 200 yards, keeping nenr them, enu tious not to frighten them into flight. When one of them crossed an open space or stopped in an opeu space to look for the remainder of the bevy, he let drive. Nearly nil of his quail were killed while running. If they flushed he marked them down nnd followed them as before. Often he would kill a half dozen from one bevy before they be came so scattered that lie could not find them. He did not attempt to dis cover them once they had taken to hiding separately, because he knew that he could not do it. Through thousands of years of effort to protect itself from its many foes the quail has developed a hack, wing and neck covering which Blends per fectly with any brown objects of woods or fields—earth-clods, cornstalks, fod der, (lead or half dead grasses, fallen leaves, underbrush, twigs, old logs aud so forth. The males have never lost the be traying stripe of white over the eye, and it seems singular that this traitor stripe remains. As the preservation of females is more important than that of males the eye-stripe of the females is brown. The breast feathers of the quail are of no assistance at all, being distinc tive. In hiding the bird covers every one of these feathers. The belly anil breast are pressed to the ground, the short tail is depressed, concealing the light underfeathers, the head is drawn down upon the shoulders, the wings are jammed tightly against the body. Only the telltale white stripe remains anil in order to conceal that as much as possible the quail will squat with its back to its pursuer. It prefers a slight depression, and if it can find one in time it squats with its back flush with the surface of the ground. It is then absolutely Indistinguishable save for the stripe. A man who wishes to discover a cock quail in form must look solely for the stripe. If he fixes its appearance tu his mind anil lets ills eye search solely for it he may find his bird, though the chances are largely against him. But for the ability of the quail to conceal Its breast and belly feath ers they would have turned brown long ago. The quail understands its surround ings nnd chances of escape as well as the man does. Sometimes it Is Impos sible to dislodge it from a favorite bit of cover. This is generally a thicket so dense that accurate shooting is not to be thought of. So placed, the quail will flush a dozen times just in front of the dog, going not more than a dozen yards to right or left and dropping suddenly, immedlatey running for twenty or thir ty yards. A gunner has often fal lowed one quqll in this way for half a day, expended a lot of shells and never got a feather. On snow the bird realizes that its hue is no protection at all, aud runs fast, Bushes at long distances and flies far. Waking in the morning to find the white mantle over everything, it knows that a dangerous time is ahead of it and It is constantly on the alert. The ruffer grouse is scare wilder. There Is quite a shade of difference in the color of quail which feed and roost in open fields and those which have woods for a habitat. The woods birds are always darker; they are al ways of stronger and more erratic flight and arc generally larger. This variation Is sometimes so marked as to lead people into believing that the country contains a dozen varieties of the Boh White. The quail when wounded or closely pressed occasionally makes use of queer hiding places. Hunting once over country thinly settled with cac tus Du Val West, of San Antonio, Texas, flushed a single bird which he missed with both barrels. The quail pitched not more than 200 yards off. Again his faithful dog found it and again two cartridges were wasted. The quail was marked down once more and the dog came to a point. Going forward West saw a hole in the bare ground some six iuclies in dia meter; its bottom was out of sight. The dog was pointing the hole, its flaring nostrils within two inches of it. Anxious to see the end of it West called "Seek dead! Seek dead!" The dog plunged its head into the hole, grabbed the quail and dragged it out by the tail. Once above ground the bird wrenched Itself free, leaving all of Its tail feath ers in the dog's mouth, and buzzed away in very erratic flight- West missed again. Quail will take refuge in snake holes, in hollow logs nnd in hollow trees, going headlong into places which are pitch dark. They have been known to pitch in a farmer's front yard nnd run under the house among the chickens. If the snow Is a foot deep and loose enough they will pitch upon It head downward and bury themselves. Of ten the loose snow falls together at the point of entrance and then the quail is securely hidden, as its scent will not come to the surface. Often, however, the snow shows where the bird Ins plunged. In the South and West there are many men who habitually hunt quail without dogs and make fair bags. They possess, of course, an intimate knowl edge of the ground and know where the birds are to be found at any hour of the day. No human being, however, is a good quail retriever, and these men lose all winged birds as well as a good many of those killed in air.—New York Sun. liorkshlre Sweethearts. Here is a conversation between a pair of Berkshire sweethearts: "John," quoth she, "why doesn't 'ee say summat?" John reflected. " 'Cause I ha'n't got notlien to say," he replied. Again there was silence, and once more it was the woman who took the initiative: "John," she inquired, tenderly, "why doesn't 'ee tell me that 'ee loves ma?" " 'Cause I've tolled 'ee that afoor," answered John, who evidently disap* proved of vain repetitions. But the lady was tenacious of her privileges and not easily daunted. "John," she asked, for the third time, "why doesn't 'ee gimina a kiss?" The tardy wooer pondered long. "I be gwine to, presen'ly," he said, at length.—Cripple Creek Times. l'ttiiologlcal Philosophy. "Inmates of the peuiteutlnry have a way of mnking remarks and asking questions that are sometimes start ling," remarked a prison official. "Give me a sample?" replied the Ob server. "The other day two of the men were talking over plans for the future after their respective terms had expired. One of them exclaimed; 'Wheu I get out of hero I intend to go so far away that it will take $0 to send a postal card to reach me.' " 'And how do you 'spect to get dere yousef?' inquired a colored man, who knew that finances were not flusn among the Inmates of the big prison. The conversation ceased nt that point, for the negro had plumped out a poser."—Columbus Dispatch. The Inquisitive Yankee Abroad. A curious American arrived In Lon don yesterday morning. Here are a few of the questions he asked in the evening; Why do butchers wear blue aprons which will not show dirt, while assistants In hoot shops wear Immacu late white aprons? Why Is footwear "hoots," while the boy who polishes them is a "shoe" black? Why Is there no direct bus from London Bridge station to Waterloo? Why is the poste restante In the largest city in the world not open all night? Why do many women wear straw hats In the winter? Why can't you get breakfast in a res taurant within reasonable time after "sun-up?" When is "sun-up" any how?— London Chronicle. Sheep Kulslnc In New Mexico. New Mexico is a great sheep coun try. There is but one other State or Territory which excels it in sheep raising. That is Utah, where there are 8,000,000 or 9,000,000 sheep. New Mexico has about 0,000,000. The in dustry was never so prosperous as at present. In Russia factories are usually near forests, wood being still the chief fuel. lil ** OUR BUDGET i • OF HUMOR. ,i, ——— . Curious. Oh, dollars are mysterious things v Their habits oft appall. • you've either got a lot ot them V Or next to none at all. —Washington Star. A Possibility. Pnpa—"A young woman cnn not be too careful about the man she accepts." She—"Oh! I don't know! She might be so careful that she'd remain single." —Puck. An Appropriate Vehicle. "She seems to be a stickler for doing everything appropriately." "I should say so; she always does her marketing In a basket phaeton."— Cincinnati Commercial-Tribune. Compulsory. "Does your doggie love you?" "You betcher your life lie does! I'd Rick do stuttin' out of him if be didn't." Not Even a Fliir Station. Colonel Passenger—"That last station was my destination, sab. Why in heaven's name, sab, didn't you stop thar?" Conductor—"We don't stop there any more; the engineer's mad at the sta tion agent"—Judge. As It is Spoken. Laborer (waving flag) "Yez'll hav ter turn hack. This stlireet's closed." Driver—"What's it closed for?" Laborer "Bekase it's jist been opened be the tillyphone company ter put down their wires. That's why it's closed."—Philadelphia Press. Functilioue. "We have neither rank nor station In this country," said the man of dem ocratic instincts. "We may not have rank," said the 1 suburbanite, "but our railroad has just ! given us a brand-new station, and we dou't want It overlooked, either."— Washington Star. Ilia Destructive Momenta. "Young man," said the solemn-look ing gentleman in the throng, "do you , know you are ou the path to quick de- At struction ?" "I do," replied the youth, as lie de tached himself aud hastened forward, for he had only teu minutes to spend 1 In the quick-lunch room. Baltimore News. Delicate Differentiation. 1 "It lias been intimated that you think a great deal of your money," said the i candid adviser. ! "That is a libel," said Senator Sor ;lium. "I don't think much of my r money. I'm willing to let it he quiet ' j It is the money that isn't mine and ' that I hope to get that keeps me think . ing."—Washington Star. ' An Invitation. "Phew!" exclaimed the silk tile in the hatter's window. "How that wind does howl out there!" "Bather sociable sound, though," re plied the black felt. dL ' "Sociable?" w "Yes; sounds as If it was saying; 'Come out and I'll blow you off.' i Catholic Standard and Times. As It Seemed to Him. Pat (to restive steed, which, after a busy teu minutes, has succeeded in getting its foot in the stirrup)—"Och, sure, If ye're going to get up, it's tolme for me to get down." .Moon shine. A Specialist. i "Do you know bow to do plain and | fancy cooking, bake bread, wash and iron, take care of the furnace, batlie the baby and wait on the tableV" "What wages do yez pay?" "Fourteen dollars." "No, ma'am. All I kin do is cook." "Oh, well, that's different. We'll pay you s2o."—New York Sun. Original Sources. y . The man with the corrugated brow , was reading intently. His inquisitive , friend stood it as long as he could and , asked: "What are you reading?" c "I am studying tlie origin of the American policeman," said the man with the corrugated brow as he held 'up a history of Ireland.—Los Angeles ■ (CaL) Herald.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers