n R OT n p 11 ill 01 * n^ants * ren ' HftSTOUlf | The nt * ou " ave AVfcgetable PreparalionforAs- _ similatingtUcFoodandßegula- _ _ M ting the Stoinachs'andßowels of | tilG " 1 "3=™*™ J Signature /%¥ Promotes Digestion.Cheerfur- Jr si J ness and Rest Contains neither | r JL Jf • w Opium, Morphine nor Mineral. *£ Ul ff 5\ ** \\j NotNAHCOTIC. i| flillr nafrafmdO-.'iWIELPnVHSR U I \jt\* SeeJ- - \ S IJT ® Jlx.Stnna * I fj; K ~ tovkdU StUX - I M -mv '*>*<*•" V MS A Hlk® Hlf f&rw,. j Il\ 111 & 111 Cttrifud .Siiav I W & SB ; I Si gp Aperfecl Remedy forConstipa- 'J I f#' " Ron, Sour Stomach, Diarrhoea SI Of Worms .Convulsions .Feverish- || I wg : f' ii n m ness and LOSS OF SLEEP. || lUI U! u! Facsimile Signature of i|| *•' Thirty Years tM.tr COPY OF WRAPPER. BcKuilliiM Childhood. When my little son could scarcely walk, says Rev. C. T. Brady, a west- ! ern missionary, 1 took him to the 1 cathedral one day, when I returned I for something 1 had forgotten after | morning service. I left the child in tlie nave, and j when I went back to him he had ad vanced half way up the middle aisle and was standing where the sun threw I a golden light about his curly head. I A tiny object he was in that great church. It was very still, lie was looking ' about In every direction in the most ■ curious and eager way. To my fancy he seemed like a little angel when he said in his sweet, childish treble, which echoed and re-echoed beneath the vaulted roof: "Papa, where's Jesus? Where's Jesus?" He had been told that the church was the house of the Saviour, and on this, his first, visit he expected to see his Lord. That baby is quite grown up now. ' Not. in the faintest particular does he , resemble an angel. The other day, when I rode off to the wars, lie aston lshed even me with this request: "Papa, if you get wounded, don't for ! got to bring me the bullet that knocks you out. I want it for a souvenir for i my collection." Fortunately for mo, If unfortunately | for him, I brought him no bullet. UulMinK (lie Tec. In that particular year It happened that the national political convention of which we are speaking was held in Boinc other town than Chicago, ami the place was crowded. This is how it came to pass that Colo- > nel Ilanktliunder, who wont merely as j a prominent citizen of the republic and 1 had not taken tin- precaution to engage j a room beforehand, found himself shut | out of the hotels and compelled to choose lodgings from a list of eligible private dwellings. The woman of the house near the corner of Fish street and Potato ave nue, the first residence at which he called, showed him the only room she < had to spare. "That suits me, ma'am," lie said, j "How much will it cost me for board 1 and lodging here for the next four , days?" "Well," she answered, "this Is not a i regular boarding house, and I am only \ taking boarders because I want to ed- j ucnte my boy for a lawyer. I shall j have to charge you for the four i days." "Madam," loftily rejoined the colonel, | taking out his pockotbook, "you will never educate your boy for a lawyer by | giving such an example as that. I will pay you $lO." —Chicago Tribune. Gentlemen, for hats and caps go to A. Oswald. He has a nice variety. Dyspepsia Cure Digests what you eat. It,artificially digests the food and aids Nature in strengthening and recon structing the exhausted digestive or gans. It isthe latestdiscovereddigest ant and tonic. No other preparation can approach It in efficiency. It in stantly relievesand permanently cures Dyspepsia, Indigestion, Heartburn, Flatulence, Sour Stomach, Nausea, Sick Headache, Gastralgia.Crampsand all other results of imperfect digestion. Prlcesoc. and SI. Large sizecontaine 1% times small size. Book all about dyspepsianjulledfreo Prepared by E. C. DeWITT g CO Cb'cage. Grover's City Drug Store. The C*> mine tor's Heady Aiutwer, The Metropolitan Street Railway company has In Its employ a philoso pher in the person of u Broadway con- I ductor. It was late in the evening, | and his car on Its up town trip had reached the vicinity of the city hall. As it passed one of the taller office buildings a stout woman, clutching him by the arm, exclaimed: "Oh, conductor, how many stories high Is that building?" " 'Leven," laconically replied the con j ductor, without so much as an upward ; glance. The woman sank back with a j. sigh of satisfaction. Just then a small man with a large traveling bag rushed in almost out of breath. "I say, conductor," he gasped, "what time can 1 get to the Grand Central depot?" "'Leven," was the quiet reply. "That's good," commented the small man, evidently relieved. At this juncture another man climb- j ed aboard that wanted to know about j ! what time the ear would reach the I Gllsey House. "'Leven," again replied the con ductor, with a weary look. ! When questioned as to the uniformi | ty of his answers, he replied: I "Yes. You see, if you hesitate about ; answering 'em, tliey git worried, but j if you have an answer ready they're j satisfied. Now, about this time of i ! night, I always say 4 'Leven.' It's a | good, handy number, easy to say. Otli- j ler times I use other numbers. I alius | j have a lot of stock answers on band. It saves time and trouble."-—New York 1 bun. Tle Universal Cry—Wanted, a Man. j Never did the world call more loudly : for young men with force, energy and I purpose, young men trained to do some one thing, than today. Though hun dreds of thousands are out of employ - I ment, yet never before was it so hard to get a good employee for almost any position as today. Everywhere people are asking where to find a good serv ant, a polite and efficient clerk, an hon est cashier, a good stenographer who can spell and punctuate and Is general ly well informed. Managers and super ! Intendents of great institutions every where are hunting for good people to fill all sorts of positions. They tell us i that it is almost impossible to find elli- : | cieut help for any department, j There are hundreds of applicants for every vacant place, but they either show signs of dissipation, are rude or ! gruff in manner, are slouchy or sllp ! shod in dress, are afraid of hard work, i lack education or training or have some i fatal defeats which bar them out. Even , if they are given positions very few nro able to hold them, and so this great nr- I my tramps about from store to store, from ollice to factory, wondering why I others succeed when they fail, why oth -1 ers get the positions when they are dc ■ niod. I The head of one large commercial os i tablishment says that the blunders and j mistakes of its employees cost .$25,000 a I year to correct, notwithstanding his | utmost vigilance.—Success. Where Ciirlat 31 nat Marry. ; In Russia if a girl desires to study at either of the universities etiquette requires that she should be married. Accordingly she goes through the civil form of marriage with one of the men students, whom she may never have seen before and perhaps may never speak to ugaiD. These marriages are perfectly legal. | and if the contracting parties like each other they are united for life, but other , wise the marriage is dissolved when their university course is finished and both are free to marry again. Sonya Kovalevskl, the celebrated mathema ; tieian, went through the civil marriage ceremony with u student whom srfie ' then saw for the first time, but who eventually became her husband. Odd nnrlaln. Not long ago there died In a north London suburb a lady who wished to | be buried in the bedstead In which she ! had lain continuously for nearly a quarter of a century prior to her de- j cease, and to Insure, as she thought, ! her wishes being respected she left a plump contingent legacy to a relative, j As the bedstead in question, however, j •vas of the old "four post" variety, and an unusually massive specimen at that, ; the cemetery authorities objected. I Eventually a compromise was effected. The bedstead was taken to pieces, and ! from the timber so obtained a sort of j box coffin was constructed for the re- ! ; ception of the remains. It Is, however, among the mining population that Instances of funeral ec centricity are most common. Jack Hustler, a coal hewer of Tong, near Leeds, who died the other day at the age of 07, was burled In a coffin con structed to his own specification 20 ! years ago. It was made of pitch pine, ! with silver handles, and the lid was hinged at one end. The deceased was buried with a lump of coal which he had carefully preserved for years. It served as his pillow, and his tobacco and pipe also found a place beside him. This latter custom is said to be very prevalent among the coal miners. The ; tin miners of Cornwall ulmost invari | ably include an umbrella among the coffin "furniture." I It would be interesting to learn the origin and significance of this strange | use.—London Express. Didn't Get HIR Money's Worth. He came into the police office, his hands clinched, his jaws knotted and ids eyebrows swooping downward to ward the bridge of his nose. "Say!" he bawled in resonant tones. "Well?" said the captain. "How much do yon charge in a case of assault and battery?" "Ten dollars." "You can lick the stuffings out of a man for that, can't you?" "Possibly." "Can a fellow pay his fine in ad vance?" "Sure." The visitor laid two fives on the desk. "I'm going to lick a man bad, and 1 don't want any interference of the po- ! lice while I do it." And he stalked out, in uttering. Half an hour afterward a man came in. Ltoth his eyes were puffed and green, his nose sagged, his clothing looked like Chllus Chilonldes' before he acquired Nero's favor. "Say," he said gently, "do you recog nize me?" "Can't say as I do." "I'iu the man. who came in here half an hour ago and paid a fine in ad vance." "Oh! Well, what do you want now?" "Would you mind giving me $9.95 back ''"—Atlanta Journal. Income of n Sleeping Car. The income or earning capacity of a sleeping car Is considerable. Take the run from New York to Chicago, 1,000 miles. Every road in the United States pays 3 cents a mile for the privilege of hauling a sleeper and contracts to re turn said car in as good shape as it is received and to pay for all damages. The journey on the limited expresses to Chicago is made in 24 hours; there fore the car earns S3O a day for travel. If It is full, which Is generally the case, receipts from berths, sections and staterooms amount to $lB3, making n total revenue of $125 a day. Out of this must come the wages of the por ter and conductor—the latter, however, usually having charge of several cars— the towels, sheets, soap, Ice, etc., the whole amounting to but a small sum. Then there are the wear and tear and general depreciation, the daily clean ing, the annual refitting and repaint ing. Set these charges down at 10 per cent and give the car three trips a week of 1,000 miles each, and we have its earnings at over SOO,OOO annually. Some can earn a great deal more.— Kansas City Journal. I'liHMlimr of the Old Maid. The okl maid of the past—sour, scan- ! dal loving, sharp of temper and of fea- j tares —is now almost an unknown quantity. The unmarried woman of I today who has passed her twenties is cheery, active, busy and useful. Gen- ; orally she is in business or has some j special art, profession or accomplish- ; meut to which she devotes herself, j | Anyway she is not idle. She finds ' many things to employ her hands and brains. She has little time for gossip and loss inclination. Culture and oc cupation have broadened her nature and given her charity and wisdom.— Mrs. Mary E. Bryan in Macon Tele graph. Snnltc llnruliir Alarm. One of our correspondents tells a sto ry of a tame snake that was so intel ligent that one night, while it was roaming about the house of its owner, it caught a burglar in the dining room. The snake coiled itself around the legs of the burglar and with its tail reached a boll on the dining room table and, ringing it vigorously, alarmed the household, resulting in the capture of the burglar.—Bradford Star. All Gone Save Experience. Cleverton—Now that you have suc ceeded in getting on such lutlmate terms with New York's most exclusive literary sot and meeting so many dis tinguished men I don't see what you want to quit for. Dashawny—The fact Is I haven't a cent left.—Smart Set. Anpirntinn and Rcnlixntlon. Hills (at the depot)— Going away, J Mills? I Mills—Yes; going to seek my fortune. Want to go along? i Hills—No; I've just returned from ■ | seeking mine. By the way, could you loan me $1 till you get back?— Chicago i ' News. Effect of Fear on Wonnda. The fear of poison in a lacerated wound under certain circumstances Js In Itself quite sufficient to give a wounded man tetanus, or lockjaw, i than which no more horrible-complica tion exists. Thus for a long time it was thought that the natives of the Solomon and other neighboring is lands lately added to the empire used poisoned arrows and many white men shot by them died in tetanic convul sions, Including one very horrible case of a commander In the navy who had made a special study of tetanus. At length the French governor of New Culedonla, noticing that the symp- | to ins exhibited were not consistent with the use of any known poison, ap pointed a medical commission to In quire into the affair, when It was dis covered that the arrows of the natives were not poisoned at all, although con structed In such away that a small piece of the bone point almost always remained in the wound. The irritation produced by this prevented the wound from healing quickly, and the mental disturbance produced by fear and per haps chunge of climate did the rest. It was discovered at the same time that the natives of other islands who firmly believed In the poison theory seldom suffered much inconvenience from the arrow wounds, because they believed that the spells given them by their own sorcerers prevented the poi son from taking effect.—Pall Mall Ga zette. Irascible Von Bnlow. During Hans von Bulow's leader ship of the orchestra at Hanover a tenor of fame was engaged to play a star role In "Lohengrin," according to Das Neue Blatt, and while the singer was rehearsiug his part Billow was forced to go over the sume bars a num ber of times without the new actor beginning to sing. Tired of his wasted efforts, the leader stopped the orchestra and angrily turned to the singer. "I know that a tenor is proverbially stupid," he said, "but you seem to make an extensive use of this unwrit ten law." At another time, while one of his grand Intermezzos was being played with great feeling by his musicians, a peculiar noise, hardly perceptible by untrained ears, annoyed the leader for some little time. At first he thought it resembled the flutter of wings, but soon he discovered an elegant lady running herself In one of the boxes close by. Bidow kept on with his ges tures, fixing his eyes on the offender In a manner which meant reproof. The lady, not heeding this, was suddenly surprised by the leader dropping his stick and turning toward her. "Madam!" he cried, "If fan you must, please at least keep time with your in fernal nuisance." Too Much For flic Tljrcr. A keeper at the Philadelphia zoo told the following Interesting story of an encounter he once had with a tiger in India: "With several companions I was on my way to visit some native friends in a neighboring village, and as the Jungle paths were the shortest route we made the trip in chairs slung on carriers' shoulders. I was about half asleep from the swinging motion when I was pitched out by the native drop ping the poles and scampering off. That's how 1 met my tiger. With a bound he was on me ami had taken a mouthful of my coat, intending, no doubt, to carry me into the dense un dergrowth. "Fortunately for me I had a big bot tle of ammonia in my coat pocket, car ried It for snake bites, you know, and when the brute took the mouthful he broke the bottle. The whiff he got made his whiskers curl, and one was ! enough. He rolled over a couple of times, gasping and waving his paws, ! and then made off as quickly as lie ! appeared. Hurt? No, only a few bruises from the fall, but the close j shave took my nerves for some i months." Cycling; In Normandy. I The roads In Normandy are splendid for cycling, the only disadvantage be i ing that the stralghtness of many main ! routes hides the beauty of the country, for which reason it is often a good plan, when time is not an object, to pick out the byways on the map. This j is the easier because not only are the : byways excellently kept, but the name ! of a French village is plainly written l up, and one does not have ridiculous i difficulty, as sometimes in England, in | finding out where one is. Signposts { ami milestones are abundant, and the ' decimal system renders them perfectly I simple and exact. "Highways and ! Byways In Normandy," by Dearmer. An Impromptu HIn. j A marriage ceremony was performed in Toronto recently, with a substitute i for the ring which, though odd and amusing, was appropriate for the oc casion. The collide went over from the American side of the St. Lawrence river, but forgot to take a ring. As there was no ring to be had in the house the resourceful clergyman sent for his wife's sewing scissors aud, with the finger clasp, completed the cere mony. Drlnkn nml Thirst. It Is a mistake to suppose that cold drinks are necessary to relieve thirst. Very cold drinks, as a rule, increase the feverish condition of the mouth and ! stomach and so create thirst. Experi -1 enee shows It to be a fact that hot drinks relieve thirst and "cool off the body when it is in an abnormally heated coudition better than ice cold drinks." Saturday, Sunday and Monday are the favorite days in the week for mar riage—Sunday in rural districts and j Saturday in towns. Sunday weddings seem to be generally less numerous than they were, while the number | which take place on Saturday arc I greatly on the increase. l|n 1 MCMENAMIN'S 1 [l| |ffll 1 Spring Stock 1 pi * [sl |ij OF ffl I HATS, GAPS, SHOES, 1 UNDERWEAR AND I FURNISHINGS, | pi Latest Plain and Fancy Shirts, 1 | Neckwear, Hosiery, Etc., | IS NOW |®| | Ready for Your Inspection. | pi ifgi S We claim to have the most complete *3 pi seasonable lines of the above goods in the Lg fSj town. Our goods are at all times up-to date [j3 j and our prices are always right. We invite [EI |pj you to examine our stock. IE: 1 MCMENAMIN'S IS |g I Hat, Shoe and Gents' Furnishing Store. f 1| £6 South Centre Street. rj| WILL BUY A fw ASKTHE MAN BEHIND THE CASE W.K GRESh & SONS. .. -MAKERS. \ The Cure that Cures / p Coughs, & \ Colds, J p GHpgte, ik \ Whooping Cough, Asthma, J Bronchitis and Incipient A Consumption, Is rofjo'si f % |i The German remedy" £ P Cures \taoft and ivstaaev J a\\ Wilkes-Barre jh^ewoid Is the Best Paper in Northeastern Pennsylvania.... It contains Complete Local, Tele graphic and (ieneral News. Prints only the News that's fit to Print 50 Cents a Month. ADDRESS. $6 a Year by Mail The Record, or Carriers-- - WILKES-BARRE. PA. Candy 0. Boyle, dealer in LIQUOR, WINE, BEER, PORTER, ETC. • The finest brands of Domestic and Imported Whiskey on sale. Freeh Rochester anil Shen andoah Beer and Youii?linjr> Porter on tap. 98 Centre street. fcgl Beat Cough byrup. Taauw Good. Usa fi Sold by druggists. RAILROAD TIMETABLES I "HE DELAWARE, SUBQUEII AURA AND SCHUYLKILL RAILROAD. Time table iu effect March 10, 1901. Trains leave Drifton for Jeddo, Eckley, flazle .'(rook, Sto -ktoti, Ik-aver Meadow Head, Roan aiul 11 mum on Junction at 100 a m, daily ercept Sunday; and 1 07 a m, J 3k p in, Sunday. Train* lea>e Drifton for Harwood, Craul>errv, < rnbickrn and Derinaer at IU) a m, daily except Sunday; aud 7 1/7 a m, 3 M p m, Sun- Trains laave Drifton for Oneida Junction, Harwood Uoad, Humboldt Road, Oneida and aeppt.on at KOO am, daily except Sun day; and 7 07 a ni, 'X 38 p m, Sunday. 1 rains leave Hazleton Junction forHarwood, ranheriy. 'l'on.hicken and Deringer at 6 lib a u, daily except Sunday; aud <63 a m, 4 23 p ui, Sunday. Train* leave Hazleton Junction for Oneida Junction, Harwood Road, Humboldt Road, Oneida aud Sheppton at • >2, 11 10 a m, 4 41 p m, daily except Sunday; and 737 a ni, 311 pm, Sunday. Trains loava Deringer for Tnmhicken, Cran berry, Hai wood, Hazleton Junction and Roan at 3UO p m, daily except Sunday; ana .'"37 am, io7pm. Sunday. Trains leave sheppton for Oneida, Humboldt Koad, Harwood Uoad, Oneida Junction, Hazle ton Junction a*id Roan at 7 11 am, 13 40, 6;e pm, daily except Sunday; and 111 am,3 44 p m, Sunday. Trains leave Sheppton for Bearer Meadow Road, Stockton, Ha/.le Brook, Kckley, Jeddo and Drifton at ;> 16 p m, daily, except Sunday; aud 8 11 a m, 3 44 p m. Sunday. Trains leave Hazleton Juiction for Beaver Meadow Koad, Stockton. Hazle Brook, Kckley, Jeddo And Drifton at <49 p m, daily, except Sunday; and 10 lu A m, < 40 p u. Sunday. All trains connect At Hazleton Junction with electric cars for Hazleton, Jeanesvillc, Auden ried and other points on the Traction Com pany's line. Train leaving: Drifton at <OO a m makes connection ai Deringer with P. R. R. trains for VFiikesbarre, Sunbury, llarrishurg and points wot. TJJTHRIt C. SMITH. Snwrlntwedmnt. L" EIIIUH VALLEY UAILKOAD. Mm th 17, IWOI. LISA V K FRBELAND. *> 12 a m for Weatherly, Maueh Chunk, Allcntown, Bethlehem, Kaston, Phila delphia, New -York and Delano and PotUville. 7 40 a ui for Sandy Run, White Haven, Wilken-ilarre, Pittston and Seranion. 8 18 a in for Hazleton, Weatherly, Mauch Chunk, Alleutown, liethlekem, Kaston. Philadelphia, New York, Delano and Potisrille. 0 30 m for Hazleton. Mahanoy City, Sken andoah, v.t. carmel, Shauiokin 1 20 P m for Weatherly, Mauch ( hunk, Al lcntown, Bethlehem, Kaston, Philadel phia and New York. (5 34 r> m for Sandy Run, White- Haven, Wilkes-Dane, Scranton and all point* West. 7 29 p m for Hazleton, Delano and Potte ville. ARRIVI AT FRKKLAND. 7 40 a m from Weatherly, rottsville aad Hazleton. 9 17 s m from Philadelphia, Kaston, Bethle hem, Allentown, Mauch Chunk, Weath erly, Hazleton. Mahanoy City, Shenan _ _ doata, Mt. Carmel and Shnmokiu. 0 30 a in from Scranton, Wilkes-Barre and W bite Haven. 1 12 l> in from New York, Philadelphia, Kaston, Bethlehem, Allcntown, Mauch Chunk and Weatherly. 0 34 p in from New York, Philadelphia, Kaston, Bethlehem, Allentown, Potte villo, Shauiokin, Mt. Carmel, Shenan doah. Mahanoy City and Hazleton. 7 29 P m from Scranton, Wilkes-Barre and White Haven. For further information inquire of Ticket Agents. KoLLIN H.WI LTUJR,General Superintendent, r%rw IC , „ 26 Cortlandt Street, New York City. GHAS. 8. LER. General Passenger A sent, i _ 2f> Cortlandt Street, New York City. O. J. GILDKOY, Division Superintendent, _____ Hazleton, Pa.
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