Freeland Tribune Established 1888. PUBLISHED EVERY MONDAY AND THURSDAY, BY THE TRIBUNE PRINTING COMPANY MM Office: Main Street Above Centre. FREELAND, PA. St'll-ICIIIJfTI ON RATES: One Year §1.50 six Mouths 75 Four Months -50 Two Mouths . . .25 Tlio tluto which the subscription i paid to is on tne address label of each pauer, the change of which to a subsequent date be comes a receipt for remittance. Keep the inures in advunce of the present date. He port promptly to this office whenever paper is not received. Arrearages must be puid when subscription is discontinued. Maie all momy orders, checks, etc,,payable to the Tribune I'rintinj Company, Limited. Yes, the horse is still in the ring. The bicycle and the motorcycle and I the trolley may relieve the noble ani- [ tnal somewhat, but thev can never dis place him altogether either for orna mental or useful purposes. Unique Japau, original iu art, orig inal in literature, original in thought, has conceived a cabinet the members of which are absolutely without party afliliatious. And the world looks on with amusement tempered by amaze- j ment. The Russian author, Bliokb, whoso | book, "The? Future War," couviuced j the Czar that proportional disarma- 1 ment is an absolute necessity, says that the United States are the richest j j of the peoples and ilieir wealth is I growing at a greater rate than that of any other nation. He adds, "The main cause is the absence of militar ism." The decline of population is said to have become almost as serious a prob lem in the Kingdom of Greece as it is in the French republic, and the patri- j ots are offering all sorts of schemes } for its solution. The most amusing j of all, says the Westminster Gazette, ! is the suggestion of an Athenian jour- j nal that the constituencies should re- ! fuse to listen to the address of any j candidate for a seat iu parliament— —whatever may be his virtues or what ever his party—unless he be a married 1 man! This universal demand of mat rimony as a qualification for legisla tion, our Greek contemporary thinks, would exercise a powerful influence upon the selfish bachelors of Hellas. What splendid opportunities it would £ive for "heckling," if it were only partially adopted, we need scarcely to say. The United States hns a higher rep utation for locomotive building than any other country in the world, and ; the Baldwins of Phila lelpliia, the Brookses of Providence, the Schenec- j fcady Locomotive works,the Richmond I (Va.) company and other builders are j now shipping locomotives to nearly j every country on earth. Tue Chinese government has recently ordered | eighty-three locomotives from the j Baldwins, who send them also to the i British government roads in Egypt, i The Richmond company lias recently sent a shipload of locomotives to Rus- j sia, the Schenectady company has t Bold a great many in Japan, and there is scarcely a nation where the whistle ■ of an American locomotive cannot be heard. Even the emperor of Germany was hauled by an American locomo- ! tive when he went from Jaffa to Jeru- I salem. At a recent meeting of the New ' England Association of School Super- \ intendents a report was presented on ; legislative enactments, by a commit tee appointed a year ago. This com mittee consisted of the highest educa tional officer in each of the six New England states, and one purpose in its creation was to initiate a movement for the extension to the smaller and feebler towns of the superior facilities as to education now at the service of the children iu the cities. On this point tlio committee recommends that the stat*> supplement local effort in providing such facilities, with due re gard, however, to local interest in the schools, and to local self-reliance in maintaining and managing them. Oth er recommendations are that laws for compulsory school attendance should be more stringently enforced, that there should lie some minimum stand ard of professional training for tie teachers, and that school committees should be required to appoint super intendents of schools especially trained and qualified to exe;- : se that direct educational oversight of the schools that experience has found to be so helpful to efficiency therein, such small towns as are unable independ ently to employ superintendents to be united into districts for such employ ment, and to be sufficiently aided by the state to insure the success of the plan. ABRAHAM LINCOLN'S BIRTHDAY. Chosen for largo designs, lie had the art Of winning with his humor, und he went Straight to his mark, \\;hich was the human heart; Wise, too, for what he could not break he bent. tJpon his back a more than Atlas-load— The burden of the Commonwealth was laid; lie stooped, and rose up to it, though the road Shot suddenly downwards, not a whit dismayed. Hold, warriors, counselors, kings! All now give place To this dear benefactor of the llace. —ll. 11. titoadnrd. 1 ANCESTRY OF I | ABRAHAM LINCOLN. | ***%s The Abraham Lincoln legend is the distinctively American legend. It is the most popular legend of democracy. It tells the story of a poor boy, born j in a log cabin on the rude frontier, i learning to read and write by the light | of the fire from the open hearth; of his hard labor on the farm, doing all the rough work of an American peasant lad of the pioneer stock; of his cal loused hands, made hard and coarse by swinging the axe as a ' 'rail splitter;" of his struggles to get a few hooks out of which to educate himself by nights of difficult study after days of strenu ous toil; of his simple courtship and unostentatious marriage to a home spun-clad Kentucky girl of the same pioneer period, and, dually, of his rise, by the strength of his own merit and fitness, to the leadership of a great party and the Presidency of the Nation in its hour of sorest meed and direct peril. That is the great Lincoln legend, that will live as long as the Republic lasts. And the doctrine of democracy is all included in it—the everlasting truth sung by Burns, that "The rank Is but the guinea's stamp; A man's a man lor a' that." Thomas Lincoln married Nancy Hanks, in Washington County, Ken tucky, June 12, 1800. It was an old time Kentucky wedding, and all the neig hbors came to it—but not in broad cloth. There was Ja supper and a boisterous merry-making. The feast included bear meat, wild turkey and a sheep barbecued whole in a pit. There was good whisky, too, and the fun included a race for a big whisky bottle. And when the wedding was over Thomas Lincoln took his bride, Nancy Hanks Lincoln, to a little log cabin in Elizabethtowu, Ky. A few years later he moved his family to a similar log cabin fourteen miles away on the Big South Fork of Noliu Creek. Ik that home Abraham, afterward President, wns horn, on February 12, 1809. It was a one-roomed cabin with a huge outside chimney, no windows and only a rude, home-made door. 'Thomas Lincoln worked hard at his trade—which was carpentering—and the family—though poor, was happy. In 1810 Thomas Lincoln migrated again with his little family, including the boy who was to be President by and by, going this time to Indiana and settling in a dense forest near Gentryville, in Spencer County. Arrived Uero, young Abe and bis father went to work together, both in shirtsleeves, to clear the land for farming, and, first of all, to build a new Lincoln homestead. This home, which young Abe helped to build, was the best home that Thomas Lincoln and his wife ever lived in. It was what was called in those days a "half-face camp." It consisted of one room, with a loft above. For a long time it was with out window, door or floor. The furni ture was all made by the family. Skins of animals slain in the forest served for bedclothes. The bed of little Abe, the future President of the United States, was only a heap of dry leaves in the loft, to which he nightly mounted by means of wooden pegs driven into the wall. And it was to this same Indiana forest cabin that, after Nancy Hanks Lincoln had died, in 1818, old Thomas Lincoln brought his second wife, Sally Bush Lincoln, who was a good step mother to Abraham and lived to see him President. On November -1, 1841, at Spring field, 111., Abraham, the sou of Thomas WHEIIE THOMAS IFLNCOLN, ABRAHAM'S FATHER, TOOK ills BRIDE, NANCY j HANKS. j Lincoln, and still as poor a man as his ! father was married to Miss Mary Todd. The Todd family had "position." Miss Mary's papa might, if he had felt that way, have taken the same view of the match as Robert T. Lin coln took of his daughter Jessie's en gagement to young Warren Beckwith —not good enough; or, to put it an, other way, aud perhaps a little plainer too poor. But he didn't look at poor but honest Abe Lincoln, the briefless lawyer, in that light. So Abraham Lincoln became the husband of Mary Todd. The knot was tied in the Episcopal Church, aud after it waa.ov.r the young couple. destined in later years to live in the White House at Washington, went to a modest home of one room in the Globe Tavern. The rent of it, with WHERE ARBAIIAM LINCOI.N TOOK HIS BRIDE, MARY TODD. table board for the two, cost Abraham just $4 a week. Four dollars was a larger sum rela tively in those days than now. Still, it was an exceedingly modest start in life. But Abraham and Mary, his wife, struggled on through poverty to a moderate income, derived from his growing law practice—he did not have to work ill shirtsleeves any longer and at last, as all the world knows, they came to occupy the first and, in a representative sense, the grandest home in America. Interesting Lincoln Medals. Many interesting medals were I issued in 1860, when Lidcoln was the j candidate for the Presidency. A j handsome one of bronze has on its face 1 a bust of Lincoln, surrounded by 1 small stars. Below are the words: I "Abraham Lincoln, Republican j Candidate for President, I860." On j the other side is an octagon, formed of intersecting portions of a rail ' lence, with the inscription in the I centre: "The Great Rail-Splitter of ! the West Must and Shall Bo Our Next 1 President." The same idea is shown in another larger, thick brass medal of Lincoln, which has on the reverse a picture of the young man engaged in splitting a log of wood near a rail fence. Above it is iuscribed, "The Rail-Splitter of 1830." Called Lincoln Snperotitioun. When Lincoln was at New Orleans, in 1831, he visited a voodoo fortune ' teller aud listened to her absurd proph- i ecies (as they then appeared) with i eager attention. When his son Robert ! was bitten by a dog, he took him to ' Terre Haute, at much inconvenience, j to have the virtues of a madstoue, as it was called, tested as an antidote. When in Congress, he refused to he j one of a party of thirteen at table, and \ Robert Toombs, who really liked him, 1 told him with some asperity that he ! would rather die than to be so super stitious. Watteraon on Lincoln. Tu a recent utterance upon war is sues the noted Southern editor, Henry Watteraon, said: "Lincoln himself was a Southern man. He had no prejudice against the South or the Southern people. There was hardly a day during the war that he was not projecting his great person -1 ality between some Southern man or j woman and danger, and so free from j vindictiveness or excitement of any sort was his mind that it cost him j nothing to stand upon the resolution j of Congress of 1861, which declared | that the war was waged solely to preserve the Union." Lincoln** Great Regret. When Lincoln was on his way to Washington before his first inaugura | tion, Rutgers College was pointed out to him as they passed it, and ho ex claimed: "Ah! thut is what I have always regretted—the want of a col lege education. Those who have it ! should thank God for it." LniigHtraet'A Tribute. Lieutenant - General Longstreet penned this brief but forcible eulogy upon the martyred war President: "Without doubt the greatost mau of rebellion times, the one matchless among 40,000,000 for the peculiar difficulties of the period, was Abra ham Lincoln." Abraham Lincoln on His Pedigree. "I don't know who my grandfather was, aud am more concerned to know what his grandson will be." LINCOLN'S SECOND INAUGURATION. Ills Personal Escort Carrie. 1 Pistols ana Clubs— Ex-Governor Osburn's Story. Ex-Governor Thomas A. Osborn, of Kansas, was present at the second in auguration of Abraham Lincoln as one of the escort to the President. He was associated with General Ward H. Lamou, along with fourteen other United States marshals from different parts of the Northern States. "People who are able to refresh their memory," Governor Osborn said in a recent interview, "will remember with what anxiety the inauguration was approached. It was believed that an assault of some character would be attempted upon the President. The Government detectives had been able to gain a vague sort of information about a conspiracy against the Pres ident s life, but there was nothing tangible enough to enable them to make arrests. That their suspicions were well grounded was well deter mined just forty days later when the President was shot down by Booth and the conspiracy came to light. "President Lincoln was rather dis posed to pooh-pooh the idea of danger. He refused to have himself surround ed with soldiers at tho inaugural ex ercises, but finally consented that Ward 11. Lamon, who was then mar shal of the District of Columbia, should take such steps as he deemed neces sary, stipulating, howover, that there should be no ostentatious display of arms or force. General Lamou at once summoned fifteen United States marshals from different parts of the country, selecting those who, in his opinion, were brave, loyal, athletic and shrewd. I was one of the fifteen, a fact which I have always attributed to the general renown of Kansas men as fighters rather than to any personal prowess J was known to possess. "I shall never forget the consulta tion held between these fifteen mar shals at the home of General Lamon on the night preceding Inauguration Day. It was explained to us by Gen eral Lamon that an assault on the President was feared. He believed that an attempt would he made to ab duct him. Some feared assassination. I remember that several of the mar shals suggested the possibility of an attempt upon the President's life with an air gun. We were duly impressed with the gravity of the situation and prepared a plan of action which was fully carried out on the following i day. "When the hour approached for the President to proceed to tho Capi tol to take the oath of office, we rode in a body on horseback from Willard's Hotel to the White House and sur rounded the President's carriage. I remember that the President appeared to be considerably annoyed by our solicitude, for we kept in close order about the carriage all the way to the Capitol. All of us carried pistols be neath our coats, while in our bauds we held batons similar to those carried by policemen. Arriving at the Capi tol, we remained on the steps of the east front while the President entered the Senate chamber and took the oath of office. When he reappeared on the steps to deliver his inaugural address ! we closed in around him and remained !so until the end, after which we es corted his carriage hack to the White j House in the same manner that we had escorted it to the Capitol. | "That 4th day of March, 1865, was | the worst day I have ever seen in I Washington. It was dark and gloomy, ! and the air was filled with snow and i rain. Tho bedraggled plumes an l nc j contrements to he seen in the military procession which followed tho Prosi i dent's carrriage were a sorry sight in | deed. The President sat bolt upright I in his carriage, with his splendid face j bared to the storm, though now and | again he smiled and bent his head in : response to a burst of cheers from ! the spectators along Pennsylvania avenue. "I have had many honors bestowed upon me by my indulgent fellow citi zens," said Governor Osborn in con clusion, "but none of them made me prouder than my appointment as one of the escert to the martyred Abraham Lincoln. Lincoln's Fatalism. Lincoln was a fatalist. He believed from an early period in his career that he was destined to attain to an exalted pinnacle of eminence and also that he should encounter a bloody end, and this belief remained with him to the end. THE CANADIAN "CZAR." R. C. REID THE LARCEST LANDOWNER ON THIS CONTINENT. The Rfal Estate lie Owns Is Said to Re 7000 Square Miles Lit Extent—Will Own All tlio ltuilroarit* Some Day—Vast Mineral Possessions. The extent of Millionaire Menier's sovereignty over tlie comparatively in significant island of Anticosti is com pletely overshadowed by the enormous extent of the possessions of a single individual on the adjacent island of Newfoundland. He is undoubtedly the largest landowner on this conti nent. Newfoundland is one-sixth larger than Ireland and It. G. Reid, commonly called "Czar" Reid, owns about one-half of it in fee simple. Two hundred thousand people regard him pretty much as if he were theil feudal baron, and look to him to ex ploit their country before the world. No man, no Czar, even, ever held the destinies of a country moro closely in his fingers than Mr. Reid does with his island. Seven thousand square miles of it are absolutely his own, with its enormous wealth of timber and mineral dands, and every mile of its railway system will eventually be come his private property. The lat est contracts which he has signed with the government of the isl and have secured to him privileges for whicji a prominent statesman has declared that ho could easily have ob tained §5,000,000 in England. It raised such violent opposition in the colony that tho Governor declined to sign it before submitting it to the Imperial Government. Mr. Chamber lain returned it with the remark that no matter what personal opinion he might hold respecting such a contract he could not interfero to prevent the management by a self-governing colony of its own linnuces. A few yours ago "Czar" Reid was a penniless Scotch boy. Ho began life in Australia and subsequently made some money by building sections of railway for tho Canadian Pacific. In 1893 he offered to construct a railway for the Government of Newfoundland across the island for $15,000 a mile. His oiler was accepted and the railway built. Then tho Government found itself in such financial stress that it could neither equip nor operate the line. Reid offered to obtain the equipment and operate tho road, but valued tho cost at SIOO,OOO a year. Tho Government gave him SOO,OOO a year as a mail subsidy, and 5000 acres of land in fee simple for every mile of main or branch line operated by him for a period of ten years. Mr. Reid was not content. Ho bought new concessions. He offered to operate the road free at the expira tion of the ten years, providing that at the end of forty additional years the road should bo his. He also stipulated for further grants of laud, for tho railway and telegraph monop olies of the island. Tho Govern ment agreed to the terms, and then it was that the great outcry arose that resulted in tho reference of the con tract to Joseph Chamberlain. Mr. Chamberlain's reply has not quieted tho agitation, however, and petitions are being extensively signed through out the colony praying the Colonial Ofiice to cancel tho contract on tho ground that tha island has been sold for a song. So strong is the public sentiment in the island against the Reid contract that "Czar" Reid has just found it necessary, in order to prevent a publio uprising in some parts of the colony, to issuo a publio notice declaring that ho intends to take possession of no Newfoundlander's fields, farm or garden or any other private property, but only the un grauted Crown lands. Mr. Reid has ordered the construc tion of seven new steamships. One of these is to run between the island and Labrador and the other six will make regular trips between tho various hays and the terminus of tho railway at St. John's. The "Czar" of New foundland will shortly be one of the largest mine owners and manufactur ers in tho world. Newfoundland's mineral exports are expected soon to reach a million dollars' worth a year. A hundred thousand tons of iron ore, or double last year's output, was ex ported from Belle Isle mine alone this year. A syndicate of British iron masters has leased the Bay do Verde mine and is preparing to work it. The vein .is sixteen miles long and esti mated by experts to contain 40,000,- 000 tons of finest ore. At Little Bay a new copper vein nino feet wide has been discovered. Mr. Reid's prospec tors are constantly making now and valuable finds all over the island. Just now tho "Czar" and several of his sous aro seeking incorporation as the Newfoundland Bleaching Pulp Company witb a capital of $2,000,000, and also as the Newfoundland Pyrites Company with a capital of $1,500,000. The site of operations is ideal. It is an immense area on the shores ol Grand Lake, and far from the railway, densely covered with wood of the very best kind for making pulp. Closo tc to it are the coal mines. Water power to any extent is available. In the marble beds of the Humber, at a short distance, are iuexhaustiblo supplies of lime. At Bay of Islands, nt no great distance, uro immense deposits of iron pyrites containing fifty per cent, of sulphur, from which sulphuric acid is made, an indispensable article for the manufacture of tho best kind of pulp. To this is to bo added a company for mining and exporting iron pyrites, for which there is every where a rapidly increasing demand for the manufacture of sulphurio acid, the residuum being used for the mak ing of the very finest kind of steel. The supply of this mineral is inex haustible, and everything points to an early recognition of Newfoundland as one of the foremost mining centres of modern times.—New York Sun. HOUSEHOLD AFFAIRS. To Stop the Window Shade Flapping* The flapping of the window shade, when the sash is raised and the shade lowered, is a serious annoyance to nervous people, who are generally light sleepers. The noise which the air and the shade produce is like noth ing so much as "a rapping, as of some one gently tapping, tapping at the chamber door," accompanied by a soft rustle as of stiff skirts. This in a gen tle breeze; when the wind is high the noise is louder and murders sleep. If the shade is raised the light wakes one too early in the morning, yet ventila tion is absolutely necessary to health. The way to prevent the tapping is very simple when one knows how. Screw two little brass hooks, one on each side of the window frame, op posite each other about twelve inches from the sill. At night tie a ribbon or broad tape across the open window, from one hook to the other, as sailors say, "taut." Screw a third hook in the molding below the sill, exactly in the center. Pull down the shade over the ribbon, and tie the cord to the lower hook. The shade will be tirmly held in place, and nothing short of a high wind or a rainstorm will cause noise enough to awaken you.—Chicago Times-Herald. Orer-Furnlßlie<l Rooms. It is easy to find tasteful upholstery goods, rugs or carpets, and all man ner of stuffs in good colors at u low price. Excellent furniture was never so low in price as it is to-day. It is not diflicult to furnish the rooms of a house in good taste. The danger in household furnishing to-day is that our rooms shall be over-furnished not only with useful pieces, but with dec orutious. Plain spaces on the wall are a relief to the eye. A crowded room where the different chairs, settees and sofas leave a cramped space to move about in is a very uncomfortable apart ment. A room where the scarfs, tidies, wall decorations of various kinds, mantle decorations, floor vafes and other ornaments are obtrusive is even more objectionable. Such ornaments defeat their object, and turn the room into a museum or storage place. This is not the greatest objection to over furnishing. The greatest objection to a superfluity of furniture and orna ments is that they make unnecessary labor. They must be dusted and cared for, and this means extra trouble. No woman who has not an of servants can afford for this reason to crowd her rooms with furniture. It is quite possible for a womau to wear out her life in the absurdly foolish tasks of dusting chairs that are super fluous and renewing tidies and other pieces of household needlework which are out of place. There are a great many homes on which money has been liberally spent which would be more elegantly furnished with half the amount of furniture they now hold. This furniture has gradually accumu lated after the house has been suffi ciently furnished, but this is 110 reason why it should be allowed to remain when it detracts from the appearance of a room and adds to the discomforts and burdens of the household.—New York Tribune. Recipes. Quick Waffles—One pint sweet milk one-half cupful of butter (melted), sifted flour to make soft batter; add the well-beaten yolks of three eggs, then the beaten whites, and lastly two toaspoonfuls of baking power, beating very hard and fast for a few minutes. Apple Shortcake—Make a plain cake of one egg, one cup sugar, one-half cup butter, oue cup sweet milk, two teaspoons baking powder, aud flour for batter. Flavor with lemon, add a pinch of salt. Bake in two layers and when needed to use, spread good mashed upple sauce between, and serve with cream. Potato Croquettes Two cups maslied potato, seasoned with pepper, celery, salt, butter, and oue table' spoou stowed tomato, strained; add one egg well beaten. Mix carefully these ingredients, make iuto cro quettes, dip into welll) • on egg, then roll in bread crumbs aim fry in verj hot fat. Drain. Frost ed Kice Pudding—One cup rice boiled till soft, add grated rind lemon, six tablespoons sugar, yolks two eggs, one pint milk, pinch sat; bake in pud ding dish about oue ho ir. Frost with the whites of two eggs, beaten with oup powdered sugar and juioe oue lemon. Brown in oven. Tapioca can be used in place of rice. This is good hot or cold. Molded Chocolate Custard—Cover one-half box of gelatine with water. Dissolve one anil one-half ounceß of chocolate in a little water, heat over boiling water; mix with one pint of milk; put in double boiler; add two ounces white sugar and the beaten yolks of five eggs. "When hot and smooth add the dissolved gelatine, Btir, flavor with vanilla, and pour into small molds. Serve with cream. Frosted Apples—Select medium sized smooth apples, rather tart. Peel and core, place on a plate, set in steamer and cover closely until easily pierced with a straw. Set away and steam a second plate. After these are done, prepare a frosting of three egs whites and seven tablespoons of pul verized sugar, a flavor of lemon. Frost when nearly cold, and set in the oven a few moments, but do not let them brown. Serve cold with cream. Minced Beef in Sauce—Melt in fry ing pan two tablespoons butter, add tablespoon finely chopped onion and oook five minutes. Add the meat, brown slightly, then a tablespoon flour, stir smooth, add cup of hot stock, or hot water, if there is none, salt and pepper; simmer ten minutes, then add one cup hot milk, the mashed yolks of three hard boiled eggs, and—if the flavor is liked—just before taking up, one teaspoon lemon juioe, and one tablespoon walnut or mushroom catsup. THE POOR CITY but Oh the city boy Is bundled In his heavy overcoat, With his costly leutber leggings. With a silk thing round his throat. And he slides upon the sidewalk Where the nshes have been spread, And imagines he is happy On his bright now sled Thoro's a hill that's high and sloping, In the country, far away, Whore n boy who wasn't bundled Fit to smother used to stray; With the swiftness of the lightning Dowu the gleaming hill ho sped, And no ashes ever grated 'Neath his home made sled. Oh I pity the poor city Boy who never gets*beyond The narrow, ashy sidewalk Or some hampered little pond; Ah, the hill was high nnd sloping, And the way was clear ahead Whore a country hoy went coasting On a homo made sled. —Cleveland Leader. HUMOR OF THE DAY. He—"When we are married 1 will fie at your feet." She (interrupting) —"Yes, aud to my face, I suppose." —Punch. Little Harry—."Pa, what's au an achronism?" Pa—"A brown wig ou a seventy-year-old man." Chicago Daily News. With all the flowers of manhood That are blooming o'er the mead, 'Tis strange that little Wilhelmiue tthould take up with a Wled. —Cleveland Plain Dealer. "By the way. Smith, you never use perfumes, do you?" "No," drawled Smith, lazily, "I don't have to. I take a bath every morning."—Paper Mill. Fashionable Young Lauy—"lf I give you some money will you promise me to go and take a bath?" Beggar— "A bath! Aud is it a mermaid you take me for?" Irate Patrou—"l thought this rail way was for the benelit of the public." Railway Official—"You're in error. The public is for the benefit of the railway."—Tid-Bits. Police Justice—"lf you were there for no dishonest purpose, why were you in your stockinged feet?" Bur glar— "I heard there was sickness iu the family."—Standard. Adoring One (in lavender kids aud a blue scarf) —"Oh, how I wish I were that book you clasp so lovingly." She—"How I wish you were, so that I could shut you up."—Ally Sloper. Tkero are laurels for the hero And badges for his breast; But the mnu who hasn't done a thing- Gets a chance to rest. —Chicago News. • "Hopkins ought to go into the army." "Why?" "He's so brave. Ho borrowed my wheel and rode it all summer, and now he has brought mo a bill for repairs."—Brooklyn Stand ard Union. —"Going to move? What for?" White—"They've got a baby next door to my house, and it makes so much noise my dog can hardly get a wink of sleep ail uiglit."—Boston Transcript. Burgling Bill—"No, 110! I won't go in agaiu! She's talking in her sleep." The Mouse—"Well, dataiu'tuuthiu'." Burgling Bill (hoarsely)—" But she's a loidy elocutionist."—San Francisco Examiner. "Were you out in all that rain?" asked the Clifton girl. "No," said the young woman from Boston. "I was merely in the portion of the rain that descended in my iwmediute viciuity." —Cincinnati Enquirer. Frances— "Harry says he just wauts to fall dowu aud worship mo all the time." Her Mamma—"Oh, well; don't mind that dear. After you're married he won't let it iuterfere with his business."—Chicago News. "Now," said the attorney for the defense, "here is a skull. Can you tell us to what species it belongs?" "It's the skull of a lawyer," replied the expert wituess. "How can you tell?" "By the cheek-boues."—Rural Home. Office Boy's Brother—"Johnny's sick a-bed, sir, and won't be able to come to work for a week." Employer —"lndeed!" The Brother—"Yes, sir; but he wants me to gets what's due him, so he cau have it to speud while he's out."—Roxbury Gazette. Lady (in railway train on wiudy day)—" Dear me! I can't get this win dow up." Gentleman (behind) —"I would assist you, madam, but I pre sume the railroad company has glued the windows dowu to preveut the loss of patrons by pneumonia."—New York Weekly. "When that man came to this town,* said Rivers, "ho hadn't a rag to his back. Look at him now." Brooks walked to the window, looked in the direction indicated, and saw a swarthy son of Italy walking down the street bending beneath the weight of a sack of rags three or four times his size, strapped to his back. This led to an other quarrel between two old lrieuds. —Chicago Tribune. A lleiiutlful Snake. Perhaps one of the most beautiful snakes of the United States is the harlequin. This snake has perma nently erece poison fangs, is venom ous, but not fatal, and is of an ex tremely mild disposition. Its coloring is exceedingly rich and beautiful, be ing red, with seventeeu broad black bands bordered with yellow. The harlequin is found from Virginia to Arkansas, while four other species in habit Florida and Texas. They spend most of their time under ground, of ten being turned up by field workers, and seem to have a fondness for sweet potatoes patches.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers