Freeland Tribune
Established 1888.
PUBLISHED EVERY
MONDAY AND THURSDAY,
BY THE
TRIBUNE PRINTING COMPANY MM
Office: Main Street Above Centre.
FREELAND, PA.
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to the Tribune I'rintinj Company, Limited.
Yes, the horse is still in the ring.
The bicycle and the motorcycle and I
the trolley may relieve the noble ani- [
tnal somewhat, but thev can never dis
place him altogether either for orna
mental or useful purposes.
Unique Japau, original iu art, orig
inal in literature, original in thought,
has conceived a cabinet the members
of which are absolutely without party
afliliatious. And the world looks on
with amusement tempered by amaze- j
ment.
The Russian author, Bliokb, whoso |
book, "The? Future War," couviuced j
the Czar that proportional disarma- 1
ment is an absolute necessity, says
that the United States are the richest j j
of the peoples and ilieir wealth is I
growing at a greater rate than that of
any other nation. He adds, "The
main cause is the absence of militar
ism."
The decline of population is said to
have become almost as serious a prob
lem in the Kingdom of Greece as it is
in the French republic, and the patri- j
ots are offering all sorts of schemes }
for its solution. The most amusing j
of all, says the Westminster Gazette, !
is the suggestion of an Athenian jour- j
nal that the constituencies should re- !
fuse to listen to the address of any j
candidate for a seat iu parliament—
—whatever may be his virtues or what
ever his party—unless he be a married 1
man! This universal demand of mat
rimony as a qualification for legisla
tion, our Greek contemporary thinks,
would exercise a powerful influence
upon the selfish bachelors of Hellas.
What splendid opportunities it would
£ive for "heckling," if it were only
partially adopted, we need scarcely to
say.
The United States hns a higher rep
utation for locomotive building than
any other country in the world, and ;
the Baldwins of Phila lelpliia, the
Brookses of Providence, the Schenec- j
fcady Locomotive works,the Richmond I
(Va.) company and other builders are j
now shipping locomotives to nearly j
every country on earth. Tue Chinese
government has recently ordered |
eighty-three locomotives from the j
Baldwins, who send them also to the i
British government roads in Egypt, i
The Richmond company lias recently
sent a shipload of locomotives to Rus- j
sia, the Schenectady company has t
Bold a great many in Japan, and there
is scarcely a nation where the whistle ■
of an American locomotive cannot be
heard. Even the emperor of Germany
was hauled by an American locomo- !
tive when he went from Jaffa to Jeru- I
salem.
At a recent meeting of the New '
England Association of School Super- \
intendents a report was presented on ;
legislative enactments, by a commit
tee appointed a year ago. This com
mittee consisted of the highest educa
tional officer in each of the six New
England states, and one purpose in its
creation was to initiate a movement
for the extension to the smaller and
feebler towns of the superior facilities
as to education now at the service of
the children iu the cities. On this
point tlio committee recommends that
the stat*> supplement local effort in
providing such facilities, with due re
gard, however, to local interest in the
schools, and to local self-reliance in
maintaining and managing them. Oth
er recommendations are that laws for
compulsory school attendance should
be more stringently enforced, that
there should lie some minimum stand
ard of professional training for tie
teachers, and that school committees
should be required to appoint super
intendents of schools especially trained
and qualified to exe;- : se that direct
educational oversight of the schools
that experience has found to be so
helpful to efficiency therein, such
small towns as are unable independ
ently to employ superintendents to be
united into districts for such employ
ment, and to be sufficiently aided by
the state to insure the success of the
plan.
ABRAHAM LINCOLN'S BIRTHDAY.
Chosen for largo designs, lie had the art
Of winning with his humor, und he went
Straight to his mark, \\;hich was the human
heart;
Wise, too, for what he could not break he
bent.
tJpon his back a more than Atlas-load—
The burden of the Commonwealth was
laid;
lie stooped, and rose up to it, though the
road
Shot suddenly downwards, not a whit
dismayed.
Hold, warriors, counselors, kings! All
now give place
To this dear benefactor of the llace.
—ll. 11. titoadnrd.
1 ANCESTRY OF I
| ABRAHAM LINCOLN. |
***%s
The Abraham Lincoln legend is the
distinctively American legend. It is
the most popular legend of democracy.
It tells the story of a poor boy, born
j in a log cabin on the rude frontier,
i learning to read and write by the light
| of the fire from the open hearth; of his
hard labor on the farm, doing all the
rough work of an American peasant
lad of the pioneer stock; of his cal
loused hands, made hard and coarse
by swinging the axe as a ' 'rail splitter;"
of his struggles to get a few hooks out
of which to educate himself by nights
of difficult study after days of strenu
ous toil; of his simple courtship and
unostentatious marriage to a home
spun-clad Kentucky girl of the same
pioneer period, and, dually, of his
rise, by the strength of his own merit
and fitness, to the leadership of a
great party and the Presidency of the
Nation in its hour of sorest meed and
direct peril.
That is the great Lincoln legend,
that will live as long as the Republic
lasts. And the doctrine of democracy
is all included in it—the everlasting
truth sung by Burns, that
"The rank Is but the guinea's stamp;
A man's a man lor a' that."
Thomas Lincoln married Nancy
Hanks, in Washington County, Ken
tucky, June 12, 1800. It was an old
time Kentucky wedding, and all the
neig hbors came to it—but not in broad
cloth. There was Ja supper and a
boisterous merry-making. The feast
included bear meat, wild turkey and
a sheep barbecued whole in a pit.
There was good whisky, too, and the
fun included a race for a big whisky
bottle.
And when the wedding was over
Thomas Lincoln took his bride, Nancy
Hanks Lincoln, to a little log cabin in
Elizabethtowu, Ky. A few years later
he moved his family to a similar log
cabin fourteen miles away on the Big
South Fork of Noliu Creek.
Ik that home Abraham, afterward
President, wns horn, on February 12,
1809. It was a one-roomed cabin with
a huge outside chimney, no windows
and only a rude, home-made door.
'Thomas Lincoln worked hard at his
trade—which was carpentering—and
the family—though poor, was happy.
In 1810 Thomas Lincoln migrated
again with his little family, including
the boy who was to be President by
and by, going this time to Indiana
and settling in a dense forest near
Gentryville, in Spencer County.
Arrived Uero, young Abe and bis
father went to work together, both in
shirtsleeves, to clear the land for
farming, and, first of all, to build a
new Lincoln homestead.
This home, which young Abe helped
to build, was the best home that
Thomas Lincoln and his wife ever
lived in. It was what was called in
those days a "half-face camp." It
consisted of one room, with a loft
above. For a long time it was with
out window, door or floor. The furni
ture was all made by the family.
Skins of animals slain in the forest
served for bedclothes. The bed of
little Abe, the future President of the
United States, was only a heap of dry
leaves in the loft, to which he nightly
mounted by means of wooden pegs
driven into the wall.
And it was to this same Indiana
forest cabin that, after Nancy Hanks
Lincoln had died, in 1818, old Thomas
Lincoln brought his second wife, Sally
Bush Lincoln, who was a good step
mother to Abraham and lived to see
him President.
On November -1, 1841, at Spring
field, 111., Abraham, the sou of Thomas
WHEIIE THOMAS IFLNCOLN, ABRAHAM'S
FATHER, TOOK ills BRIDE, NANCY
j HANKS.
j Lincoln, and still as poor a man as his
! father was married to Miss Mary
Todd.
The Todd family had "position."
Miss Mary's papa might, if he had
felt that way, have taken the same
view of the match as Robert T. Lin
coln took of his daughter Jessie's en
gagement to young Warren Beckwith
—not good enough; or, to put it an,
other way, aud perhaps a little plainer
too poor. But he didn't look at poor
but honest Abe Lincoln, the briefless
lawyer, in that light.
So Abraham Lincoln became the
husband of Mary Todd. The knot
was tied in the Episcopal Church, aud
after it waa.ov.r the young couple.
destined in later years to live in the
White House at Washington, went to
a modest home of one room in the
Globe Tavern. The rent of it, with
WHERE ARBAIIAM LINCOI.N TOOK HIS
BRIDE, MARY TODD.
table board for the two, cost Abraham
just $4 a week.
Four dollars was a larger sum rela
tively in those days than now. Still,
it was an exceedingly modest start in
life.
But Abraham and Mary, his wife,
struggled on through poverty to a
moderate income, derived from his
growing law practice—he did not have
to work ill shirtsleeves any longer
and at last, as all the world knows,
they came to occupy the first and, in
a representative sense, the grandest
home in America.
Interesting Lincoln Medals.
Many interesting medals were I
issued in 1860, when Lidcoln was the j
candidate for the Presidency. A j
handsome one of bronze has on its face 1
a bust of Lincoln, surrounded by 1
small stars. Below are the words: I
"Abraham Lincoln, Republican j
Candidate for President, I860." On j
the other side is an octagon, formed
of intersecting portions of a rail '
lence, with the inscription in the I
centre: "The Great Rail-Splitter of !
the West Must and Shall Bo Our Next 1
President."
The same idea is shown in another
larger, thick brass medal of Lincoln,
which has on the reverse a picture of
the young man engaged in splitting
a log of wood near a rail fence. Above
it is iuscribed, "The Rail-Splitter of
1830."
Called Lincoln Snperotitioun.
When Lincoln was at New Orleans,
in 1831, he visited a voodoo fortune '
teller aud listened to her absurd proph- i
ecies (as they then appeared) with i
eager attention. When his son Robert !
was bitten by a dog, he took him to '
Terre Haute, at much inconvenience, j
to have the virtues of a madstoue, as
it was called, tested as an antidote.
When in Congress, he refused to he j
one of a party of thirteen at table, and \
Robert Toombs, who really liked him, 1
told him with some asperity that he !
would rather die than to be so super
stitious.
Watteraon on Lincoln.
Tu a recent utterance upon war is
sues the noted Southern editor,
Henry Watteraon, said: "Lincoln
himself was a Southern man. He
had no prejudice against the South or
the Southern people. There was
hardly a day during the war that he
was not projecting his great person
-1 ality between some Southern man or
j woman and danger, and so free from
j vindictiveness or excitement of any
sort was his mind that it cost him
j nothing to stand upon the resolution
j of Congress of 1861, which declared
| that the war was waged solely to
preserve the Union."
Lincoln** Great Regret.
When Lincoln was on his way to
Washington before his first inaugura
| tion, Rutgers College was pointed out
to him as they passed it, and ho ex
claimed: "Ah! thut is what I have
always regretted—the want of a col
lege education. Those who have it
! should thank God for it."
LniigHtraet'A Tribute.
Lieutenant - General Longstreet
penned this brief but forcible eulogy
upon the martyred war President:
"Without doubt the greatost mau of
rebellion times, the one matchless
among 40,000,000 for the peculiar
difficulties of the period, was Abra
ham Lincoln."
Abraham Lincoln on His Pedigree.
"I don't know who my grandfather
was, aud am more concerned to know
what his grandson will be."
LINCOLN'S SECOND INAUGURATION.
Ills Personal Escort Carrie. 1 Pistols ana
Clubs— Ex-Governor Osburn's Story.
Ex-Governor Thomas A. Osborn, of
Kansas, was present at the second in
auguration of Abraham Lincoln as one
of the escort to the President. He
was associated with General Ward H.
Lamou, along with fourteen other
United States marshals from different
parts of the Northern States.
"People who are able to refresh
their memory," Governor Osborn said
in a recent interview, "will remember
with what anxiety the inauguration
was approached. It was believed that
an assault of some character would be
attempted upon the President. The
Government detectives had been able
to gain a vague sort of information
about a conspiracy against the Pres
ident s life, but there was nothing
tangible enough to enable them to
make arrests. That their suspicions
were well grounded was well deter
mined just forty days later when the
President was shot down by Booth
and the conspiracy came to light.
"President Lincoln was rather dis
posed to pooh-pooh the idea of danger.
He refused to have himself surround
ed with soldiers at tho inaugural ex
ercises, but finally consented that
Ward 11. Lamon, who was then mar
shal of the District of Columbia, should
take such steps as he deemed neces
sary, stipulating, howover, that there
should be no ostentatious display of
arms or force. General Lamou at
once summoned fifteen United States
marshals from different parts of the
country, selecting those who, in his
opinion, were brave, loyal, athletic
and shrewd. I was one of the fifteen,
a fact which I have always attributed
to the general renown of Kansas men
as fighters rather than to any personal
prowess J was known to possess.
"I shall never forget the consulta
tion held between these fifteen mar
shals at the home of General Lamon
on the night preceding Inauguration
Day. It was explained to us by Gen
eral Lamon that an assault on the
President was feared. He believed
that an attempt would he made to ab
duct him. Some feared assassination.
I remember that several of the mar
shals suggested the possibility of an
attempt upon the President's life with
an air gun. We were duly impressed
with the gravity of the situation and
prepared a plan of action which was
fully carried out on the following
i day.
"When the hour approached for
the President to proceed to tho Capi
tol to take the oath of office, we rode
in a body on horseback from Willard's
Hotel to the White House and sur
rounded the President's carriage. I
remember that the President appeared
to be considerably annoyed by our
solicitude, for we kept in close order
about the carriage all the way to the
Capitol. All of us carried pistols be
neath our coats, while in our bauds
we held batons similar to those carried
by policemen. Arriving at the Capi
tol, we remained on the steps of the
east front while the President entered
the Senate chamber and took the oath
of office. When he reappeared on the
steps to deliver his inaugural address
! we closed in around him and remained
!so until the end, after which we es
corted his carriage hack to the White
j House in the same manner that we
had escorted it to the Capitol.
| "That 4th day of March, 1865, was
| the worst day I have ever seen in
I Washington. It was dark and gloomy,
! and the air was filled with snow and
i rain. Tho bedraggled plumes an l nc
j contrements to he seen in the military
procession which followed tho Prosi
i dent's carrriage were a sorry sight in
| deed. The President sat bolt upright
I in his carriage, with his splendid face
j bared to the storm, though now and
| again he smiled and bent his head in
: response to a burst of cheers from
! the spectators along Pennsylvania
avenue.
"I have had many honors bestowed
upon me by my indulgent fellow citi
zens," said Governor Osborn in con
clusion, "but none of them made me
prouder than my appointment as one
of the escert to the martyred Abraham
Lincoln.
Lincoln's Fatalism.
Lincoln was a fatalist. He believed
from an early period in his career that
he was destined to attain to an exalted
pinnacle of eminence and also that he
should encounter a bloody end, and
this belief remained with him to the
end.
THE CANADIAN "CZAR."
R. C. REID THE LARCEST LANDOWNER
ON THIS CONTINENT.
The Rfal Estate lie Owns Is Said to Re
7000 Square Miles Lit Extent—Will Own
All tlio ltuilroarit* Some Day—Vast
Mineral Possessions.
The extent of Millionaire Menier's
sovereignty over tlie comparatively in
significant island of Anticosti is com
pletely overshadowed by the enormous
extent of the possessions of a single
individual on the adjacent island of
Newfoundland. He is undoubtedly
the largest landowner on this conti
nent. Newfoundland is one-sixth
larger than Ireland and It. G. Reid,
commonly called "Czar" Reid, owns
about one-half of it in fee simple.
Two hundred thousand people regard
him pretty much as if he were theil
feudal baron, and look to him to ex
ploit their country before the world.
No man, no Czar, even, ever held the
destinies of a country moro closely in
his fingers than Mr. Reid does with
his island. Seven thousand square
miles of it are absolutely his own,
with its enormous wealth of timber
and mineral dands, and every mile of
its railway system will eventually be
come his private property. The lat
est contracts which he has signed
with the government of the isl
and have secured to him privileges
for whicji a prominent statesman has
declared that ho could easily have ob
tained §5,000,000 in England. It
raised such violent opposition in the
colony that tho Governor declined to
sign it before submitting it to the
Imperial Government. Mr. Chamber
lain returned it with the remark that
no matter what personal opinion he
might hold respecting such a contract
he could not interfero to prevent the
management by a self-governing
colony of its own linnuces.
A few yours ago "Czar" Reid was a
penniless Scotch boy. Ho began life
in Australia and subsequently made
some money by building sections of
railway for tho Canadian Pacific. In
1893 he offered to construct a railway
for the Government of Newfoundland
across the island for $15,000 a mile.
His oiler was accepted and the railway
built. Then tho Government found
itself in such financial stress that it
could neither equip nor operate the
line. Reid offered to obtain the
equipment and operate tho road, but
valued tho cost at SIOO,OOO a year.
Tho Government gave him SOO,OOO a
year as a mail subsidy, and 5000
acres of land in fee simple for every
mile of main or branch line operated
by him for a period of ten years.
Mr. Reid was not content. Ho
bought new concessions. He offered
to operate the road free at the expira
tion of the ten years, providing that
at the end of forty additional years
the road should bo his. He also
stipulated for further grants of laud,
for tho railway and telegraph monop
olies of the island. Tho Govern
ment agreed to the terms, and then it
was that the great outcry arose that
resulted in tho reference of the con
tract to Joseph Chamberlain. Mr.
Chamberlain's reply has not quieted
tho agitation, however, and petitions
are being extensively signed through
out the colony praying the Colonial
Ofiice to cancel tho contract on tho
ground that tha island has been sold
for a song. So strong is the public
sentiment in the island against the
Reid contract that "Czar" Reid has
just found it necessary, in order to
prevent a publio uprising in some
parts of the colony, to issuo a publio
notice declaring that ho intends to
take possession of no Newfoundlander's
fields, farm or garden or any other
private property, but only the un
grauted Crown lands.
Mr. Reid has ordered the construc
tion of seven new steamships. One
of these is to run between the island
and Labrador and the other six will
make regular trips between tho various
hays and the terminus of tho railway
at St. John's. The "Czar" of New
foundland will shortly be one of the
largest mine owners and manufactur
ers in tho world. Newfoundland's
mineral exports are expected soon to
reach a million dollars' worth a year.
A hundred thousand tons of iron ore,
or double last year's output, was ex
ported from Belle Isle mine alone this
year. A syndicate of British iron
masters has leased the Bay do Verde
mine and is preparing to work it. The
vein .is sixteen miles long and esti
mated by experts to contain 40,000,-
000 tons of finest ore. At Little Bay
a new copper vein nino feet wide has
been discovered. Mr. Reid's prospec
tors are constantly making now and
valuable finds all over the island.
Just now tho "Czar" and several of
his sous aro seeking incorporation as
the Newfoundland Bleaching Pulp
Company witb a capital of $2,000,000,
and also as the Newfoundland Pyrites
Company with a capital of $1,500,000.
The site of operations is ideal. It is
an immense area on the shores ol
Grand Lake, and far from the railway,
densely covered with wood of the very
best kind for making pulp. Closo tc
to it are the coal mines. Water power
to any extent is available. In the
marble beds of the Humber, at a short
distance, are iuexhaustiblo supplies
of lime. At Bay of Islands, nt no
great distance, uro immense deposits
of iron pyrites containing fifty per
cent, of sulphur, from which sulphuric
acid is made, an indispensable article
for the manufacture of tho best kind
of pulp. To this is to bo added a
company for mining and exporting
iron pyrites, for which there is every
where a rapidly increasing demand
for the manufacture of sulphurio acid,
the residuum being used for the mak
ing of the very finest kind of steel.
The supply of this mineral is inex
haustible, and everything points to an
early recognition of Newfoundland as
one of the foremost mining centres
of modern times.—New York Sun.
HOUSEHOLD AFFAIRS.
To Stop the Window Shade Flapping*
The flapping of the window shade,
when the sash is raised and the shade
lowered, is a serious annoyance to
nervous people, who are generally
light sleepers. The noise which the
air and the shade produce is like noth
ing so much as "a rapping, as of some
one gently tapping, tapping at the
chamber door," accompanied by a soft
rustle as of stiff skirts. This in a gen
tle breeze; when the wind is high the
noise is louder and murders sleep. If
the shade is raised the light wakes one
too early in the morning, yet ventila
tion is absolutely necessary to health.
The way to prevent the tapping is
very simple when one knows how.
Screw two little brass hooks, one on
each side of the window frame, op
posite each other about twelve inches
from the sill. At night tie a ribbon
or broad tape across the open window,
from one hook to the other, as sailors
say, "taut." Screw a third hook in
the molding below the sill, exactly in
the center. Pull down the shade over
the ribbon, and tie the cord to the
lower hook. The shade will be tirmly
held in place, and nothing short of a
high wind or a rainstorm will cause
noise enough to awaken you.—Chicago
Times-Herald.
Orer-Furnlßlie<l Rooms.
It is easy to find tasteful upholstery
goods, rugs or carpets, and all man
ner of stuffs in good colors at u low
price. Excellent furniture was never
so low in price as it is to-day. It is
not diflicult to furnish the rooms of a
house in good taste. The danger in
household furnishing to-day is that
our rooms shall be over-furnished not
only with useful pieces, but with dec
orutious. Plain spaces on the wall are
a relief to the eye. A crowded room
where the different chairs, settees and
sofas leave a cramped space to move
about in is a very uncomfortable apart
ment. A room where the scarfs, tidies,
wall decorations of various kinds,
mantle decorations, floor vafes and
other ornaments are obtrusive is even
more objectionable. Such ornaments
defeat their object, and turn the room
into a museum or storage place. This
is not the greatest objection to over
furnishing. The greatest objection to
a superfluity of furniture and orna
ments is that they make unnecessary
labor. They must be dusted and cared
for, and this means extra trouble. No
woman who has not an of
servants can afford for this reason to
crowd her rooms with furniture. It is
quite possible for a womau to wear
out her life in the absurdly foolish
tasks of dusting chairs that are super
fluous and renewing tidies and other
pieces of household needlework which
are out of place. There are a great
many homes on which money has been
liberally spent which would be more
elegantly furnished with half the
amount of furniture they now hold.
This furniture has gradually accumu
lated after the house has been suffi
ciently furnished, but this is 110 reason
why it should be allowed to remain
when it detracts from the appearance
of a room and adds to the discomforts
and burdens of the household.—New
York Tribune.
Recipes.
Quick Waffles—One pint sweet milk
one-half cupful of butter (melted),
sifted flour to make soft batter; add
the well-beaten yolks of three eggs,
then the beaten whites, and lastly two
toaspoonfuls of baking power, beating
very hard and fast for a few minutes.
Apple Shortcake—Make a plain cake
of one egg, one cup sugar, one-half
cup butter, oue cup sweet milk, two
teaspoons baking powder, aud flour
for batter. Flavor with lemon, add a
pinch of salt. Bake in two layers and
when needed to use, spread good
mashed upple sauce between, and serve
with cream.
Potato Croquettes Two cups
maslied potato, seasoned with pepper,
celery, salt, butter, and oue table'
spoou stowed tomato, strained; add
one egg well beaten. Mix carefully
these ingredients, make iuto cro
quettes, dip into welll) • on egg, then
roll in bread crumbs aim fry in verj
hot fat. Drain.
Frost ed Kice Pudding—One cup rice
boiled till soft, add grated rind lemon,
six tablespoons sugar, yolks two eggs,
one pint milk, pinch sat; bake in pud
ding dish about oue ho ir. Frost with
the whites of two eggs, beaten with
oup powdered sugar and juioe oue
lemon. Brown in oven. Tapioca can
be used in place of rice. This is good
hot or cold.
Molded Chocolate Custard—Cover
one-half box of gelatine with water.
Dissolve one anil one-half ounceß of
chocolate in a little water, heat over
boiling water; mix with one pint of
milk; put in double boiler; add two
ounces white sugar and the beaten
yolks of five eggs. "When hot and
smooth add the dissolved gelatine,
Btir, flavor with vanilla, and pour into
small molds. Serve with cream.
Frosted Apples—Select medium
sized smooth apples, rather tart. Peel
and core, place on a plate, set in
steamer and cover closely until easily
pierced with a straw. Set away and
steam a second plate. After these are
done, prepare a frosting of three egs
whites and seven tablespoons of pul
verized sugar, a flavor of lemon.
Frost when nearly cold, and set in the
oven a few moments, but do not let
them brown. Serve cold with cream.
Minced Beef in Sauce—Melt in fry
ing pan two tablespoons butter, add
tablespoon finely chopped onion and
oook five minutes. Add the meat,
brown slightly, then a tablespoon flour,
stir smooth, add cup of hot stock, or
hot water, if there is none, salt and
pepper; simmer ten minutes, then add
one cup hot milk, the mashed yolks of
three hard boiled eggs, and—if the
flavor is liked—just before taking up,
one teaspoon lemon juioe, and one
tablespoon walnut or mushroom catsup.
THE POOR CITY but
Oh the city boy Is bundled
In his heavy overcoat,
With his costly leutber leggings.
With a silk thing round his throat.
And he slides upon the sidewalk
Where the nshes have been spread,
And imagines he is happy
On
his
bright
now
sled
Thoro's a hill that's high and sloping,
In the country, far away,
Whore n boy who wasn't bundled
Fit to smother used to stray;
With the swiftness of the lightning
Dowu the gleaming hill ho sped,
And no ashes ever grated
'Neath
his
home
made
sled.
Oh I pity the poor city
Boy who never gets*beyond
The narrow, ashy sidewalk
Or some hampered little pond;
Ah, the hill was high nnd sloping,
And the way was clear ahead
Whore a country hoy went coasting
On
a
homo
made
sled.
—Cleveland Leader.
HUMOR OF THE DAY.
He—"When we are married 1 will
fie at your feet." She (interrupting)
—"Yes, aud to my face, I suppose."
—Punch.
Little Harry—."Pa, what's au an
achronism?" Pa—"A brown wig ou a
seventy-year-old man." Chicago
Daily News.
With all the flowers of manhood
That are blooming o'er the mead,
'Tis strange that little Wilhelmiue
tthould take up with a Wled.
—Cleveland Plain Dealer.
"By the way. Smith, you never use
perfumes, do you?" "No," drawled
Smith, lazily, "I don't have to. I
take a bath every morning."—Paper
Mill.
Fashionable Young Lauy—"lf I
give you some money will you promise
me to go and take a bath?" Beggar—
"A bath! Aud is it a mermaid you
take me for?"
Irate Patrou—"l thought this rail
way was for the benelit of the public."
Railway Official—"You're in error.
The public is for the benefit of the
railway."—Tid-Bits.
Police Justice—"lf you were there
for no dishonest purpose, why were
you in your stockinged feet?" Bur
glar— "I heard there was sickness iu
the family."—Standard.
Adoring One (in lavender kids aud
a blue scarf) —"Oh, how I wish I
were that book you clasp so lovingly."
She—"How I wish you were, so that I
could shut you up."—Ally Sloper.
Tkero are laurels for the hero
And badges for his breast;
But the mnu who hasn't done a thing-
Gets a chance to rest.
—Chicago News.
• "Hopkins ought to go into the
army." "Why?" "He's so brave.
Ho borrowed my wheel and rode it all
summer, and now he has brought mo
a bill for repairs."—Brooklyn Stand
ard Union.
—"Going to move? What
for?" White—"They've got a baby
next door to my house, and it makes
so much noise my dog can hardly get
a wink of sleep ail uiglit."—Boston
Transcript.
Burgling Bill—"No, 110! I won't go
in agaiu! She's talking in her sleep."
The Mouse—"Well, dataiu'tuuthiu'."
Burgling Bill (hoarsely)—" But she's
a loidy elocutionist."—San Francisco
Examiner.
"Were you out in all that rain?"
asked the Clifton girl. "No," said the
young woman from Boston. "I was
merely in the portion of the rain that
descended in my iwmediute viciuity."
—Cincinnati Enquirer.
Frances— "Harry says he just wauts
to fall dowu aud worship mo all the
time." Her Mamma—"Oh, well;
don't mind that dear. After you're
married he won't let it iuterfere with
his business."—Chicago News.
"Now," said the attorney for the
defense, "here is a skull. Can you
tell us to what species it belongs?"
"It's the skull of a lawyer," replied
the expert wituess. "How can you
tell?" "By the cheek-boues."—Rural
Home.
Office Boy's Brother—"Johnny's
sick a-bed, sir, and won't be able to
come to work for a week." Employer
—"lndeed!" The Brother—"Yes, sir;
but he wants me to gets what's due
him, so he cau have it to speud while
he's out."—Roxbury Gazette.
Lady (in railway train on wiudy
day)—" Dear me! I can't get this win
dow up." Gentleman (behind) —"I
would assist you, madam, but I pre
sume the railroad company has glued
the windows dowu to preveut the loss
of patrons by pneumonia."—New York
Weekly.
"When that man came to this town,*
said Rivers, "ho hadn't a rag to his
back. Look at him now." Brooks
walked to the window, looked in the
direction indicated, and saw a swarthy
son of Italy walking down the street
bending beneath the weight of a sack
of rags three or four times his size,
strapped to his back. This led to an
other quarrel between two old lrieuds.
—Chicago Tribune.
A lleiiutlful Snake.
Perhaps one of the most beautiful
snakes of the United States is the
harlequin. This snake has perma
nently erece poison fangs, is venom
ous, but not fatal, and is of an ex
tremely mild disposition. Its coloring
is exceedingly rich and beautiful, be
ing red, with seventeeu broad black
bands bordered with yellow. The
harlequin is found from Virginia to
Arkansas, while four other species in
habit Florida and Texas. They spend
most of their time under ground, of
ten being turned up by field workers,
and seem to have a fondness for sweet
potatoes patches.