FREELAND TRIBUNE. Established 1888. PUBLISHED EVERY MONDAY AND THURSDAY BY THE TRIBUNE PRINTING COMPANY, Limited. OFFICE; MAIN STHKKT AMOVE CENTRE. Make all moncu orders, checks, etc., payable to the Tribune Printing Company, Limited. SUBSCRIPTION KATES: One Year $1.50 Six Months 75 Four Months 80 Two Months 26 The date which the subscription is paid to is on the address label of eucb paper, the change of which to a subsequent date becomes a receipt for remittance. Keep the figures in advance of the present date. Report prompt ly to this office whenever paper is not received. Arrearages must be paid when subscription is discontinued. FRKELAND, PA., MARCH 21, 1898. Big, shaggy dogs are in great de mand in Maine, and there is money to be made in filling orders for dogs of this description to be shipped to the gold regions of Alaska. So great is the de mand that many fine St. Bernards and mastiffs have been stolen. The chief of police of Bangor received a letter from a friend in Alaska, who wants a carload of dogs for draft purposes, and offers good prices for all that can be got here. Two carloads of dogs from the maritime provinces passed through Bangor a few days ago bound for Alas ka. There were 240 in the lot, and on the way thither they had many fights. The Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals stopped the train and would not allow it to proceed until all the dogs had been muzzled. This done, the dogs continued on their jour ney west. A bride of a year was recently heard to say that ten of her acquaintances were to be married before Christmas, and that as the parents of all of them had sent her expensive wedding gifts, she and her husband were in mucQi per turbation about the customary return. There is food for reflection in her com ment that, as they lived in a small rented house and kept but one servant, their valuable silver was still stored in the vault where it had been placed at their marriage; that although the gifts represented over $3,000, the young husr band had to struggle for their liveli hood, and that the most modest pres ents they could select for their ten friends would take his whole month's salary. The recent "national" irrigation con gress, held at Lincoln, Neb., is said to have been a spiritless, uninteresting affair. The western farmers used to re gard the great irrigation companies with much hope and not a little fear, but they seem to have learned that they themselves can make quickest and cheapest such dams and ditches as are necessary to them. They seem no long er inclined to "take stock," practically or figuratively, in the big companies, while the latter, except in portions of California, seem to have but little money of their own. Some of the leading farmers in the Indiana oil district are taking advan tage of the oil boom and are using the crude oil to feed their swine. One furmer put some of the oil in the feed ing trough and found the pigs became wild for it. He finds it an excellent preventive for cholera, and has been able to keep his herds, while those who do not use it have lost many animals. The oil can be bought at the wells for 43 cents a barrel. An eastern exchange tells the story of an enterprising merchant w ho gilded a lump of coal and placed it in his win dow, labeling it "A nugget from Klon dike—value, $9,000." lie failed to re move this "valuable nugget" from the window one niglit recently, and in the morning found the window broken and the gilded coal gone. It cost him S9O •to replace the broken plate glass. This is the result of deceptive advertising. Sir Thomas J. Upton, who has just been knighted by Queen Victoria, packs meat in Chicago, has a tea and coffee business in New York, manufactures ginger ale and mineral waters in Ire land, makes confections in London and grows coffee and tea in Ceylon. In other words, he is a hustler in business. It is reported that Jam** 15. Berry, who died the other day, was very far from being the "millionaire tramp" some of the newspapers called him. His millions amounted to just $15,000, and when lie died he did not have a cent. It took him less than a year to throw his money away. The Dallas News observes: Mr. 1 Henry Highnote, of Kansas City, bc •i-ame possessed of two wives by the ac tion of a judge setting aside a decree of divorce. This is likely to produce much discord among the Highnotes. A woman's club in Washington has decided to admit one man to member ship, but he wears petticoats. He has always worn them, and is known as the Chinese 'minister. In one of New York's interior cities 20,000 people are employed in making photographic appliances. Modern ma chinery is more than offset by the new wants of mankind. .Subscribe fur the TKHII.\K. GETTING TO A FIRE. The Splendid Homes of tlie American Fire Depnrtinentn. F. S. Dellcubaugh writes an article for St. Nicholas on "The Quick Horse," devoted to the training-of horses for the American fire departments. Mr. Dellen haugh says: When a fire breaks out in America, it is necessary to reach it at once. The telegraph was brought into service in sending the alarm. In Munich some years ago the method in vogue was to hang out a red flag by day and a red lantern by night from the top of one of the Frauenkirche towers, on the side in the direction of the fire; but in America such a system would have resulted in the destruction of the whole town. The telegraph is the only thing for us. But it is not enough to know imme diately the exact location of a fire; it is also necessary to reach it immediate ly. The steam fire-engine was a splen did machine, witjf steam always up and everything in readiness for instant de parture, but how to secure this instant departure was a question. Horses were kept standing in their stalls with the harness on, but this was not quick enough. Each second's delay meant, loss of life or possibly millions of prop erty destroyed. So the first swinging harness was invented; a harness con trived in such away that, while always attached to the engine or other appara tus, it could he made to drop instantly on the horse's back and fasten there. This seemed to solve the question, but there remained one more step, and this was the training of the quick' horse. Not only must the engine and the har ness and the men and the horses be ready, but the horses must be in tlie harness at once—the operation must be as nearly instantaneous as human in genuity and brute intelligence together could contrive. In every fire-engine house in the United States to-day, therefore, we may see and admire the "quick" horse, sleek-limbed, elenr eyed, with an alert, intelligent air, standing not far from the machine of which he is the moving power. The casual visitor saunters in. He thinks tlie life of a fireman is a quiet RUNNING TO A FIRE. and easy one, judging from the appear ance of the quarters. All is serene. The machines are immaculate in pol ished brass and red paint. Some of the men ate reading, others are playing a game of checkers. Suddenly there is a tihkling some where, and the stroke, of a gong. A snap, a click—and through the wide open doors the various machines fly, one after another, until the visitor views in astonishment an empty house. It is like magic—a wonderful "trans formation-scene." He gazes up acd down the street, but tlie galloping pro cession has vanished as if it were a dream. The quick horse has done his duty, and once more exhibited the power of J organization and training. Within the time required by the firemen of the old en time to throw open the engine-house doors, the complicated machines of to day are throwing water on the flames, and the bravo firemen, having scaled the building with the agility of acrobats, arc dealing well-considered blows against the fire foe. In almost every city there is a prac tice-drill at least once a day in the en gine-houses, and the visitor may have an opportunity of inspecting the admir able development of the American fire ystcm and the fine horses so splendidly rained. And he may also have an op portunity nt. tlie same time of lament ing that other branches of our public service are not conducted with equal efficiency. < OYV Sivtitlotvnl n Fortune. A farmer who lives near Chicago >wned a cow, and five years ago the farmer's wife placed SSOO in gold for ufe-keeping j„ „ | M >xftil of bran in the cellar. One day, during the moth er's absence, the children found the box of bran and carried it out to the barn for the cow to eat. When the woman oncltided to look at her treasure again, it. was gone, and she believed it was stolen. About a week Inter the cow was taken ill, and acted so strangely that when she died a veterinarian asked leave to dissect her to discover the cause. When the stomach was opened, there was SSOO in gold, and the former's wife did not regret the cow's death one bit. Iln>s nt ( nnlilup Schorl. "Turn about is fair plnv," is i n old I adage, and tlie school boys and girls I of Brookline, Mass., have been proving i its goodness by practical experiment i lately. Last year the boys learned carpentry and carving and the girls I took lessons in bread and enke making, | but this year the hoys have taken up ! cookery and the girls have been sawing wood. Of course the boys are delighted with the change, for they lire permit ted to lxi 1 egg*, cook steaks and even make cake once in a great while. The girls profess to thoroughly enjoy driv , ing nails arid making things of wood, and are determined to show that they I can be us good carpenters as the boy A. STILL ONE. Last night, sweetheart. In vision clear. Your hand held close in mlno. We walked and talked together, dear. Still one. your soul and mine. If In the years you had forgot To love me and to care For joy or sorrow 1n my lot Which here you used to share, I think you would not thus be sent My suff'rlng hours to cheer, And bring to me such calm content, And dry the falling tear. Thank God for angel ministries! Though nolselesaand unseen, To teach us they, mid we, are His, With Just a veil between. —Margaret May, In N. Y. Observer. | A Fleeting Show ol Hen. | I Fun In a Railroad Coach for a Boj 1 Is with a Frayed Coat. S NOT more than a dozen persons were in the cur. These were a sharp nosed man who divided his time be tween glaring discontentedly out of the window and asking the conductor why the train didn't go fuster; an elderly and benevolent-looking old lad}' who sat across lhe aisle from the sharp nosed man; three or four men who lounged hack in their seats and dozed, and a quartet of young people, two men and two giris, who were amusing them selves by singing college songs. As the train pulled out of one of the (Wintry villages a poorly dressed boy who might have been 1G or 17 yenre old came into the car and took the seat across the aisle from the four young people. Under his frayed coat was a big bunch, suggesting that he was car rying something concealed there. As the young people struck into another vong he looked anxiously ut them and then down at the bunch under his coat. Presently, at the end of a verse, there sounded quite emphatically from the coat this remark: "Cut-cut-cut-cut%nidaweut!" "Goodness!" exclaimed the girl who had been singing the alto part, turning wide brown eyes upon the youth. "He's got a hen there. Did you hear it ?" "Cutta-cutta cudduck!" made Itself sufficiently audible for every one in tlie car to hear it. "She's a good hen," said the boy, apologetically, "but she don't like mu sic. I was scairt that you'd wake her up." "Cudduck cudawcut!" In rather tart tones from beneath the coat seemed to indicate that the good hen was tired of being good and wanted to get out and fly around the car awhile for a change. "Shuttup!" said the boy, poking the bunch with no great gentleness, a per formance which brought forth a wrath ful cackle. By this time all the people in tlie ear were craning their necks toward the seat occupied by the boy. The old lady put on her glasses to see better, and the sharp nose of the discontented man fairly glowed with indignant surprise. He pointed a bony finger at the place whence the hen language seemed te proceed. "Look here!" lie said. "Do you mean to say you've got a hen under your coat?" The youth turned a deprecatory glance upon his questioner, but evinced no signs of meaning to say anything. It wasn't really necessary that he should. "Cluck-cluck, cul-luck, cul-luek, cut tacudawcut!" was a highly adequate reply. The sharp-nosed man's proboscis spread its glow over his other features. "It's an infernal shame!" he cried. "Ain't it?" exclaimed the benevolent old lady, bestowing an approving glance uj/on him. "1 wouldn't wonder a mite if the poor tiling smothered." "Darn the poor thing!" ejaculated the man with such emphasis that the old lady's glasses fell off in consequence of the shock to her system. "I ain't kicking on the beastly chicken's ac count. What I object to is that young idiot making a cattle train out of this sa r." "Hens ain't cattle," suggested the old lady with evidently pacific intent; but strange to say this veracious and sooth ing statement fuiled to mitigate the complainant's wrath. "Might just as well be," he said. "Cudduck, cluck,cluck!"came in pro icst to this statement. "Say, you!" cried tlie man again, aiming his loaded forefinger at the youth. "What d'you mean by bringing u hen Into this car?" "What lien?" asked the boy, Inno cently. "Don't you try to fool with me* That hen under your coat." He waggled his forefinger at the bunch, which promptly responded: "Cut-cudaw-we-w-wciit!" "Oh, thnt hen!" said the boy. placidly. "1 brought her along so's I could get a fresh-laid aig for my lunch." The quartet across the aisle burst into laughter, and the sharp-nosed man swore softly but comprehensively. "Don't you let him frighten sou." said the brown-eyed girl encouraging ly to the boy. The benevolent old lady was so sur prised nt the boy's statement that her glasses fell off again, and as she groped for them she said In rather awestruck tones: * "Goodness me! Docs he ent the egg raw ?" "Yes'tn." replied the boy. politely. "Raw nigs is the only kind this hen knows how to lay. I had a hen to home we used to feed on sulphur matches, and she laid hard-boiled nips, hut the other day she drank some kerosene oil nn' just naturally busted." "1 don't believe it." exclaimed the old b'jly. quite violently, and the quartet al to et collapsed with glee. \ look vf sadness overspread the plain features of the youth, but before be could reply to this aspersion npon bis veracity, the bundle under bis coat attracted his attention, a well as that ( everyone else, by observing in reso nant tones: "Cutta-cutta-cutta-cut-cudaw - w - w - wcut!" "Keep still," cried the boy, adminis tering a second poke to the covering coat. "The society that looks after cruelty to animals ought to be told," announced the old lady. "I know that hen's suf fering." "Hen ain't an animal," snapped the sharp-nosed man, getting back at her for her previous information. "I know I'm suffering, and unless—" "Well, the society might look after you, then," retorted the old lady with some asperity. "The aged person," observed one of the young quartette, "is not so easy as she looks. That was distinctly the re tort rotten." "I'll speak to the conductor." the sharp-nosed man was declaring mean while. "I didn't pay my money to ride in a hen coop. We'll see if this young rascal can bring his cackling chickens among decent people." "Cluck - cluck - clu - luck -cutta - cut," rounded in rather derisive tones. The brown-eyed girl leaned over the sisle and looked at the boy. "Won't you please let me see the hen ?" she said. s "I'd like to, miss, but I dassent," said the boy. "Do you think I'd frighten it?" she said, reproachfully. "No'm, but thiß is an awful intelligent ' hen au' " —with a look of direct admira tion—"like's not if she once seen you she'd want to leave me right now and never come back no more." "Now will you be good?" said the young man who sat with the girl. She smiled entrancingly at the boy. "I dos't believe you've got any hen at all," she remarked, challenging]}'. In reply he prodded the bundle, which promptly replied. "Cutta-cut, cutta-cut!" "There! Did you hear it!" cried the sharp-nosed man to the conductor who had just entered the car. "What kind of a road do you call this, where the pas "WHERE IS IT?" sengers have to roost with the chick ens?" "Where is it? Which one's got it?" asked the conductor. "Cutta-cut! Cutta-cut cudaw-cut!" proclaimed clearly the location. "Dook here," said the official, striding up to the boy, who was nervouslj* fum bling at his coat. "I've got a mind to stop the train and fire you off right here." "What for?" inquired the youth in in jured. tones. "You got my ticket." "You throw that chicken out of the window or get out." "What chicken, mister?" "Under your coat there. Come, no nonsense, now. I won't stand for it." The boy drrew his frayed coat closer around the bundle. "Tuck-a-tuck-a-tuck," came in smoth ered tones from it. "Mercy! The poor thing's near dead," cried the old lady. "What a shame!" "Come, get out," ordered the conduc tor, taking the boy by the shoulder. The train was slowing down us it drew near a station, and the proprietor of the assortment of barnyard noises got up remarking: "This is my stution where I get off, anyway." "Cluck-cluck-cluck, tuck-ff-tuck!" evi denced the fact that it was the station where the bundle under the coat w anted to get off also. "I should like .to have seen what kind of a hen that was," said the brown-eyed girl, plaintively. The youth paused, turned and.looking directly into the brown eyes, delivered himself of this surprising remark: "I'll-cluck-cluek-cluck-tell you, miss. Just because I tuck-a-tuck-a-tuck a bun dle under my coat-cud a w-cut, an' it cutta-cutta-elucks like a hen; that don't cutrcut-cuda w-cut no ice. Look a here!" He threw open his coat and behold there was nothing there but a pair of skates fastened together with n strap. "Cluck-cluck-cluck, cutta-cutta-cut; whur-ruck-a-dood'e-doo-00-00-oo!" he chanted triumphantly as he marched out of the car. "He d.idn't have no hen at all!" cried the old lady, her surprise getting the ! better of her grammar. The sharp-nosed man hastily went ! into another car, but not in time to es cape hearing the brown-eyed girl an | notirce: "We will now sing that beautiful and ; highly appropriate hymn time: 'This I world is all a fleeting show, for man's | Illusion given.*"—N. Y. Sun. To Cure Constipation Forever. Take Cascarcts Canily Cathartic. 10c orSSo. | If C. C. C. fail to cure, druggists refund nion3*. OASTOniA.. THE REAL ST. PATRICK. His Real Life Is Almost Lo3t In Fanoiful Legends. Bat Hie Work In the Redemption of Ireland from Paganlem Was an Abiding: Reality—la Worthy of All Honor. [Copy right, 1898 ] The life of the famous Irish saint Is, as everybody knows, buried and almost lest under a tangled debris of legend and tradition, much of it grotesque in the extreme. This was only to be ex pected. It is a fate almost sure to overtake a great religions leader in a rude and uncritical age; but as a re sult, any attempt to read out the true biography of St. Patrick from the ex isting records is like trying to decipher an obscure and faded manuscript over the face of which have been drown a succession of arabesques and carica tures. Still, it Is not to be doubted that St. Patrick both lived and accomplished a great work—greater, indeed, than peo ple in general are accustomed to give him credit for—and even as to the de tails of his life we are not left wholly at the mercy of legendary lore. A few apparently authentic documents re main—chief among them the "Confes sion" believed to have come from liis own hand. The "Epistle" also is prob ably genuine, but is far less impor tant. The "Confession" Is in teresting document, to the student at least. From it we get a very meager account of the incidents of the author's career—though it contains about nil that is trustworthy—but the Impression it gives of the great missionary's char acter is clear and striking. It is easy to see that he was a man well qualified to win men's hearts—which is neces sarily the first step toward saving their souls. St. Patrick was nn enthusiast—of course—else he had been poorly fitted for his task. He was also something of a dreamer, but a happy strain of prac ticability pervades his dreaming; it never fails to come to something. His visions on the hills of Antrim, where the boyish captive spent so many nights in prayer under the open sky, are but the prelude to his escape from slavery; and afterward, when he had returned to his home and friends, the voices that haunted his sleep, calling him back to Ireland, resulted in bring ing an eutire nation into the Christian faith. To "visionaries" of this type the world is deeply indebted. Indeed, in the "Confession" there is no hint of the exaggeration aud ex travagance which appears so strongly in the "Lives" of later date. Good sense, sincerity and modesty are the dominant notes. He believed in his mission—fervently believed in it—but so far was he from imagining himself ready for an undertaking of such mag nitude without special training, that he spent many years in careful prepara tion at the best religious school acces sible. True, lie never attained to any ex traordinary scholarship. In his "Con fession," which was written as a reply to those who declared that lie was unfit to be made a bishop, he freely concedes himself "indoctus" and "rustJcissimus" —unlearned and very plain man: arid while the fact that he wrote in Latin proves that he had sufficient education for all ordinary purposes, his peculiar use of that language, showing many ♦ races of Celtic idiom, makes it evident that his frankness was no false mod esty but simply honesty, ne meant just what he so.id, as strong men com monly do. And apropos of these Cel tic turns of expression, it is of interest to note that, although not born on Erin's soil, he was of strictly Irish stock, since liis birthplace was in a re gion almost exclusively settled by the Irish Picts. There are qualities far more impor tant than finished scholarship—which, indeed, is ever liable to waste itself in pedantic trifling—and these sturdier traits the victorious Irish evangelist undoubtedly possessed. What one of his critics could have done his work? It was well for his mission that hi* sympathies were not dried away by the dust of libraries. All the better be cause lie was "indoctus" bis words commanded the attention of the rude clansmen; all the more because be was "rusticissimus." like themselves, they trusted and believed bim. To this sim plicity add dauntless courage and ab solute sincerity, and you have the se cret of his wonderful success. It is a strong man whose work lives after him; and the results of St. Pat rick's labors were felt for centuries and extended far beyond the island he re deemed from paganism. In the period which followed his dentil the Trish church was tlie most zealous and ac tive in all Christendom. Although others—and they, too. are worthy of praise—whose achievements were more spectacular because they addressed themselves chiefly to kings and nobles, have received the greater share of credit for converting pagan England, most of the real work was done by Trish missionaries, animated by the very spirit of St. Patrick. These were the men who. braving danger and hardship, overcoming the obstacles of nn alien tongue and racial prejudice, penetrated to every hamlet in North umberland and the Marchlands and preached the Gospel to the stubborn villagers until their Christianity be came a fact, not a mere profession. Little as we know about the life of St.. Patrick, his work Is an abiding real ity; and It is wife to assume that the qualities which appear in the church he founded were not wanting in him self. It is unfortunate that a charac ter so admirable has been veiled behind such a motley tissue of fanciful legends—but the Irish people make no mistake in honoring the name of Si Patrick, DAVIS TURNER Ward of Warning Ti>e trouble with thousands of women is not "female weakness," although many physicians suppose it is. The real trouble lies in the Kidneys, Liver and Bladder. Doctors often fail to effect a A cure, simply because they don't give the right remedy. Women as well (Myty as men can ascertain for them selves if their Kidneys are diseased. ) S Simply fill a bottle or glass tum i J \A. / / bier with urine and let it stand a \ \/j \ a n 'ffht. If there is a / scc^mcnt at the bottom, something is IM- £&A\ S \\y / wron S with the Kidneys. If there is a /\ /\ desire to urinate often—if there is a "J "J- "="\ P a * n * n the HjJiall of the back—if the urine U ~ V jßßhfc stains linen—lookout! The Kidneys are Ladies can take Dr. David Kett ' ( v<, nedy's Favorite Remedy with perfect as- j surance of relief. It will cure them of Kidney, Vr * t r Liver and Bladder disorders just as certainly Mrs. G. W. DAVENPORT, of West Troy, ney nd suffered intense pain in my back and • l°ins. The wife of l)r. Robinson, pastor of the First Av cnue Methodist Churph, recommended Ajjsfymß Km 'A Dr. Davicl Kennedy's Favorite Remedy• jßffjr m ¥//. 1 1 got some, and have used it ever since, with tifff flgf&hy * r the result that lam greatly benefited. All pains * have left me, and I am like another person." Dr. David Kennedy's Favorite Remedy is a perfect blood and nerve medicine. It restores the liver to a healthy condition and cures the worst cases of constipation. It is a certain cure for all diseases peculiar to females. Free Favorite Remedy is such a certain cure that the DR. DAVID KENNEDY CORPORATION, Rondoiit, N. V., will forward, prepaid, a free sample bottle to every sufferer who sends his or her full postoffice address and mentions this paper. The fact that our liberal offer appears in this paper is a guarantee of its ' genuineness. All druggists sell Favorite Remedy at si.co a bottle. WAPK linn QAUi Oliluß tun fjitlfL Advertisers in the Tribune get full value for their money. DePIERRO - BROS. CAFF. - Corner of Centre aiul Front Streets, Freeland, Pa. ! Finest Whiskies in Stock. Gibson, Dougherty, Kaufer Club, 1 Kobenhlutirs Velvet, of which we h ve EXCLUSIVE BALE IN TOWN. Mutnm'a Extra Dry Champagne. Hennessy Urandy, blackberry, Gins, Wines, Clarets, Corilia.j, Etc Imported and Domestic Cigars. OYSTERS IN EVERY STYLE. Ham and Schweitzer Cheese Sandwiches, Sardines, Etc. MEALS AT - ALL - HOURS. Bullentinu and Huzleton beer on tap. Ratlis. Hot or Cold. 25 Cents. P. F. McNULTY, Funeral Director and ErnbaimerJ Prepared to Attend Calls Day or Night. South Centre street, Freeland. 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