A MELAWCHOLY JOLLY TALE. t BY IUY RICHMOND. I once knew * fellow BO jolly The glrlß they all oalled him "Oh, Cholly, Yon do look so Bweot, With your No. 2 feet, That we love you more than our dolly." I once knew a girl melancholy. ""he boys all called her "Poor Dolly l Pht* has No. 10 foot, Which aren't half so sweet As those of dear, charmiug Cholly." A dog once yielded to folly, And barked at a belligerent Polly, Who jumped on his head, Laid him out very dead And croaked, "Oh, wasn't it jolly." DUBUQUE, lowa. AN EXED-DETECTIYE. BY mviGHT BALDWIN. IA ]\l nn amateur ex detective. Upon referring to "The Young Lady's Friend and Easy Le 11 e r-W rite r, which I keep con stantly at hand, I learn that "ex-ama teur detective" i s the better form. Anyway, I am so completely and Overwhelmingly exed that y z occur rence didn't cross me off the books oi life I can't explain. A man of independent fortune largely independent of me—l indulged, to the slopping-over point, my passion •BEGAN CUTTING AND HEWING AT AN OBJECT.' for detective novels, and finally startec out iu tho rolo of a second Monsieui Lecoq. I met with some success, too. 1 was three times beaten by dariug Criminals whom X was "shadowing,' and twice jailed for impersonating an officer. Emboldened by these evidences oi my genius, and horrified by the awful Cronin murder, I sold out my luneL route and started in quest of "Coonoy the Eox." I was returning Chicagoward with a whole bundle of clews in my claws, when, at a railway lunch-room, I sighted my man. I knew him by his gleaming eye, cruel mouth and crafty brow. Besides, be was swinging round his head a hatcliet, or rather a small ax, that, with true Gaborinuan shrewdness, 1 determined was the very weapon with which tho fatal blow had been struck. "All aboard!" shouted the conductor, at that moment entering the room. Cooney flourished his ax, and pointed to a legend on the wall to the effect that the train stopped ten minutes for refreshments. "I'M A CONDUCTOR, AND WANT MT DDKS." "Time's up! All aboard!" was the reply. "Give mo a stop-over check, then." With a scowl, the conductor com plied. "Hopes to throw me off tho scent," I muttered. "I'll stop over myself." More fortunate than the murderer, I did not have to secure a stop-over. I had been stopping over the con ductor himself, all night; in other words, had been riding on tho roof of one of the cars. As the train pulled out the Fox pushed his sinull traveling grip well back to give him freedom of motion, advanced to the counter and began cutting and hewing at an object having the outward semblance of a pie. "Stop!" pleaded the proprietor. "You'll ruin my countor and break ray heart." "Not if it's as hard as this pie," re plied Cooney, with one of his well known sly glances and mysterious But this last was soon transferred to the face of the proprietor, for at the very next blow the ax broke in twain, leaving the pie master of the situation. For three hours I shadowed my man with the lynx-eyed vision, cat-like tread and sleuth-hound nose of the ideal detective of the books. It was dark when the Chicago train arrived, and I boldly followed Master Itevnard into the coach. The conductor was obdurate. "Get off at the next station," said he. "I'm a detective, and hero aro my clews." "I'm a conductor, and want my dues." Then I had hope. A poet must pos sess a tender heart. So I replied: "They're at the real basiness, not courting the muse." "They" referred to a couple, newly married, I hope, who, wrapped carefully around each other, were engaged is ■LEAPED EXCIJEDLY TO HIS FEET.* passing to and fro a well-worn yet loud-voiced kiss. The tieket-taker smiled, listened to what I had to any about Cooney, and passed out to find some cash customers. Arriving at the fair city—World's Fair—the red-handed murderer hast ened to board a North Side cable-car. With no friend but my elieek, and no fortune but an umbrella that I had found on the train and reluctantly appropriated, I followed suit. I came within an ace of being put I off, but a mysterious "hist" and a dis- I play of my tin star caused the agent of the bloated monopoly to leave me in peace. At Lincoln Park Cooney left tbe car and entered a large stone-front house. "He has come to wring gold from his rich employer," I sagaciously decided. Having nothing else to do, I watched, or rather shadowed, tho house all night. "FOBCED MI- INTO THE PATBOD-WAGON.* About nine o'clock in tho morning the fugitive from justice emerged. So completely was he metamor phosed, as they say in tho books, that it made my head ache to recognize him, and a man with loss mansard roof to his forehead, though far greatei pecuniary resources, would have lot him pass unchallenged. So did I, for that matter, hut I was at great pains not to lose sight of him. His low-crowned linen hat and long duster had given place to a high silk tilo and broadcloth coat, whilo his legs were engaged in a pair of shapely, light-colored trousers. Pausing in his walk, he seated him self upon a rustic bench, behind which was a bracket and a board sign, "Look out for paint!" Whether it was the pongs of his guilty conscience or tho odor of the lead and oil, I shall never know, but he soon leaped excitedly to his feet, caught up liis coat-tails, and looked searcliingly behind him. A successful detective should have no sense of the ludicrous. I havo, and that it was that ruined me. The two dark bars on the abaft por tion of the Fox's light trousers sug gested the grating of the lock-up to which I was soon to consign him, and I laughed aloud. With a scowl he turned upon me. Then, realizing that tho bars were down and the jig up, I told him he was my prisoner. 11l ten minutes I had brought him to Clark street and summoned a patrol wagon. "This is Cooney, the Fox," said I, when the conveyance arrived. Then the three officers began to laugh like fiends. "And who bez ye?" demanded tho leader of the gang. "The unraveler of the great Cronin mystery ; the original and only " "Fraud!" shrieked the copper, as he tore opon mv coat and removed my home-made star. Then they said something, I don't "IN MY omaias aunn.' ' know what, to Cooney, forced me into tho patrol wagon and dashod back to the station. No one appearing to prosecute the case, I was dismissed with a severs reorimand In my cheerless chamber, by the light of a tallow-dip—owing to my temporary absence the gas has been cut off—l write this account of my ex tinguishment. Did I not expect to retrieve myseli in tho world of letters, I would take the boot which stands beside me and dash out my brains. They said that the man I shadowed and arrested was—but I'll-not men tion his name. He is a prominent judge and one of the best known men in Chicago. But they lied, the villains, they lied! In the meantime I am exed. And they might write the twenty fourth letter of the alphabet before the names of a number of real deteotives without doing much harm. Miserly. "You can always tell a man by the company ho keeps." "How about Driggs, tho miser? He has no associates or friends." "Oh, yon can tell him by the money he keeps."— Chicago Ledger. LAWYEIIS are men who work with s will. Doctors often put them in the ! way of it. PRACTICAL SCIENCE. A BUDGET OF INTERESTING INFOR MATION. A Good Word for (lie Much-Abuaed Milk weed—How to Ascertain the Speed of H Railway Train—To Obtain a Light With out Matches. BY PROF. J. F. ELSOtf. A Good Word for the Milkweed. The poorly growing and much des pised milkweed will soon lift up its drooping head and take a front place among the profitable plants of the world. Its seed yields an abundance of oil, which analysis shows to he finer than linseed oil. A gum can be pro duced from the plant juices that rivals India rubber in strength and elasticity; its floss when spun is liner than the finest Irish poplin, which it closely resembles, and its stalk, leaves, and bark, manufactured into pulp by means of sulphur and boiling in alka lies, yields a fine parchment-like pa per. Chemistry is rapidly showing the reasonableness and efficacy of the claim of the patriarchs that "nothing has been made in vain." To Ascertain the Speed of a Train. Everyone who has ridden on the cars has wondered often how fast the train was running, and often an entire coach-load of passengers will manifest a great interest in the rate of speed the train is making. There are three ways of getting at this with tolerable accuracy. The first is to watch for the passage of the train by the largo white mile-posts with black figures oil tliem, thou divide three thousand six hun dred by tho time in seconds between posts. The result is the speed in miles per hour. Again, when by reason of darkness, or other causes, the above is impossible, listen atten tively until the ear distinguishes distinctly the click, click, cliok of the car wheel as it passes over tho rail joint. The number of clicks on one side of the car in twenty seconds is the speed in miles per hour, where the rails are thirty feet in length, which is generally the case. Finally, count the number of telegraph poles passed iu two minutes, if there are four or five wires to a pole, and iu two minutes and twenty seconds if there are only two lines per pole; the number of poles passed is the number of miles per hour the train is traveling. Light Without Match***. To obtain light instantly without the use of matches, and obviating the dan ger of setting tilings on fire, take an oblong vial of the clearest glass, put into it a piece of phosphorus the size of a pea, upon this pour some of tho purest cotton-seed oil, heated to 100 deg. centigrade, filling tho vial about one-third full, then cork tightly. To use it, remove the cork and allow a little air to enter the vial, then reeork it. The whole empty space in the liottle will thou become luminous, and, if the bottle is clear and the solution made properly, the light obtained will nearly if not quite equal that of an ordinary lamp. As soon as the light grows dim, its brilliancy can be at one restored by reopening the bottle and allowing a fresh supply of air to enter. In cold weather it may be nec essary sometimes to warm the bottle by holding it between the hands to in creast the fluidity of the oil. Thus prepnred, the bottle is good for six months. The same contrivance is used by the watchmen of Palis in all maga zines where explosive or inflammable materials are stored. Food and l'oison. What is food for ono may be poison | for another. This is well exemplified iu watching somo of the natural provi sious and characteristic peculiarities ol certain forms of insect life. Take, foi instance, the ease of the spider and the boo. In my conservatory window one of each was seen on a blossom, eael eagerly seeking for something. Aftei they had worked diligently for a few minutes, during which time they met and passed often, the one seemingly found abundant, pasturuge on tho spot vacated by the other. As they were passing away, apparently fillod, they were caught, chloroformed, and chem ically examined. As expected, the bee contained nothing but lioney, pollen, etc., the usual fruits of the worker's life; the spider, ou the other hand, showed a stomach perfectly empty, and evidently was going in search of food when leaving tho blossom upon wlxiot it and the honey-bee had appar ently been feeding. More intricate examination being made, an alkaloid, and one of the most energetic poisom known, was found in a receptacle, which was filled to repletion. Botl these insects—one in search of honey, the other of poison—fed on the same ilower, found what they sought, and turned away satisfied—a peculiar trans formation, and both substances ob tained by nearly tho same process, from the same petal. A moral should adorn this truth. Like the two insecte are many persous. For instance, twe persons will look at another porson tc whom both aro strangers. One wil. : see all that is good and ennobling, ! beautiful and attractive; while the | other will see nothing but what is bad and degrading, hideous and repulsive. Both feed the imagination on one per son ; each seeks his or her propensity, finds w hat is wanted, and returns sat isfied. lteador, which one art thou? Still Waiting. A sad reminder of the great blizzard of two years ago, says a New York let ter to the Baltimore American, is the mental condition of a man living in the I fashionable part of Lexington avenue, | not far from Thirty-seventh street. This man had an only son, who weni | out in a lioat the day beforo the bliz zard cauie, for a sail down the bay. The boat was never heard of after that, and the young man probably was lost. Yet the father did not lose hope. Day after day he waited for nows of his son's rescue. He hoped that some ves sel had picked the little boat up or by some other moans the boy's life was saved. The body not having been found the man could not believe the hoy dead. For weeks ho waited to hear some news, but none came. Under the load ol grief his mind almost gave way, and to this day the old man, whose mind is al most a wreck, expects at tho least noise in the block to hear that his son has been found. If there is a sonnd of hurrying feet on tho pavement outside he will got up to see if there is not a messenger boy coming with news from his son. All through the night he awakes at the slightest noise, and his first inquiry is whether the news of his BOU'S resoue has come. This has continued for two_ years. The facts In tfie case were told" by a policeman, who a few evenings ago saw two men standing in front of the house at a late hour and requested them not to talk in a loud voice, lest they arouse the old man and start him to the door for the news which he has awaited so long. A Famous Ohio Poet. Captain George W. Cutter, author of "The Song of Steam," "E Pluribus Unum," "Never, Never!" and many other bold and stirring hymns, was born in Kentucky, though much of his life was spent in Cincinnati. He was a gallant soldier in the Mexican war, an eloquent and learned barrister and a most entertaining companion. For charm of conception, clioiceness of ex pression and vigorous language some of his poems will rank with anything in our language. But he was a victim of intemperance. His poems, "Never, Never!" and "E Pluribus Unum" were set to music during our civil war, and sung every where in the North, with the most in spiring effect. Probably no song ever thrilled a nation to a greater extent than that of "E Pluribus Unum." 1 remember once during the war hearing it sung in Cincinnati by a choir of 200 i voices at a patriotic meeting of some ten thousand persons in a grove, and can never forget the grand effect on the audience, as each singer, with a flag raised in his hand, sang with thrill ing effect the last verse: Then up with our flag! Let it stream in tho air, Though our fathers are cold in their graves ; Tney had hands that could strike, they had aoula that could dare, And they were not born to be fllavea. Up! up ! with that banner, where'er it may call, Our millione shall rally around ; And a nation of freemen that moment Khali fall, When its stars Hhall be trailed on tho ground. A few nights afterward I was sent for to see a person in the Btation-house in my city. I went, and found there the author of "E Pluribus Unum," pale and trembling from the effects of a terrible debauch, covered with tilth and his clothes almost torn off him. I spoke kindly to him, told him how that vast audience, but a day or two ago, had been inspired to patriotic duty by his songs. Ho clasped his hands to his eyes and exclaimed: "Great God! what a wreck I have made of myself!" bent over me and wept like a child, promising by all that was sacred that lie would reform. With the aid of some friends he was taken out and cared for in away his pitiful condition demanded. New clothes were obtained, a pleasant boarding house found, and for a few weeks ho was himself again, endeavor ing to establish himself again in his profession. Hut, alas! the chain of appetite was too strong—it shortly dragged him down to his grave.— Texas Sittings. Count Fist-iii-thc-l'nee. The death of the Count of PunonroA tro, a Spanish nobleman, recalls a sin gular story of the past. Tho Emperor Charles V. was hunting one day—so the story goes—which is very iikely founded upon an actual occurrence, but in its details may have been modern ized in the long time which has elapsed -—-with one of his body-guard at his side. Charles was a redoubtable hunt er, and so was the guard. Presently a partridge passed, quite high over their heads. Both sportsmen fired at the same time, and the bird fell. It was brought by the Emperor's servants. "Which one of us, do you think," said Charles, "killed this partridge?" "It was I," said the guard. "Thou liest, scoundrel," said the Emperor. Ho had hardly spoken when the guard struck him so severe a blow in the face that he could hardly keep his feet. Charles' first movement was to point his gun straight at the audacious guard, and pull the trigger, but the weapon had just been discharged, and had not been reloaded. While the Emperor was reloading he decided that he would not shoot the guard on the spot. He sent him tc prison instead, with orders to prepare for his execution. "Your fault is tho greater," said the Emperor, "because there was doubt , whether thou didst reallv kill the bird." "There is no doubt, sire, in my mind/ said the guard. "Will you permit me ; to seo the bird ?" Tho partridge was brought, and the guard showed tho Emperor that it had been killed with a ball from his rifle. The Emperor had been using bird-shot all day. The Emperor felt a little remorse at this, but did not countermand his or der for the guard's death; but at the last moment he had the man brought before him. "Dost thou repent of striking me?" "No, sire," said the guard. "If I had a thousand lives, and your Majesty should tell me a thousand times, with out rcA64n, that I lied, a thousand times would I put my fist in your face \mi puno en el rostro), and a'thousand times would I go calmly to the block." The Emperor sat pensively for some time revolving the matter in his mind. The words mi puno en el rostro ran- 1 kled in his mind, but presently he said, l 'My reign has need of such men as you, after all. I wish there were a thousand like you! Live, and bo known lierafter as the Count of Punon rostro!" The Count became the most devoted -Jf Charles' vassals, and his family has survived to this day.— Youth's Com- j pan ion. Didn't Like Them. "Been to Alaska?" "Yes." "Like the people?" "No." "Why not?" "Too* cold and distant." Chicago Ledger. Solid. Mrs. Slimdiet (to new boarder) — That is poundcake, Mr. Starver. New boarder (carefully hefting a piece)— What did you pound it with? A MARINE alga is found in the Arctic regions growing at a tempera ture far below zero, while at the higher temperatures tho spores disappear. I rom this fact it appears that some vegetable lifo roquires for its existence intense cold and continuous dryness, and to that class tho cryptogams of red snow probably belong. A CURIOUS fact is noticed in connec tion with the formation of barnacles on the ships' bottoms. In the majority of cases there is a much heavier growth of grass or barnacles on one side than the other, and in numerous instances one sido will be almost entirely free from marine growths, while the other is as foul as possible. TIIE FIRST HACKNEY COACH. raptain Daily*® Nuoeeßful Experiment. >. URING the month oI f April, 1639, one Mr. Gar- Yjkrard, or "Gossip Garrard" L /las he was commonly I W called, wrote a letter from London to the Earl of Jjfjl /Straford, the Lord Lieu / tenant of Ireland, in I-JJT \ which he said: "I can- J not omit to mention any f II I 1 Dew thing that comes up J I among us, though never T* J I 80 trivial. Here is one I Captain Baily; he hath I I Hi been a sea captain, but I I (£\WV now lives on the land IHI y\ about this city, where he II K J tries experiments. He 11 hath erected, according u g-n to his ability, some four _ U hackney-coaches, put his a JI3 . men Bvery, and ap g=l' fgM™ pointed them to stand at ifflll'lflll Maypole in the villi] Strand, giving them in structions at what rate to carry men into several parts of the town, where all day they may be had. Other liack ney-men seeing this way, flocked to the same place, and performed their jour neys at the same rate; so that some times there is twenty of them together, which disperse up and down, that they and others are to be had everywhere, as watermen are to be had at the water side. Everybody is much pleased with it, for, whereas, before coaches could not be had but at great rates now a man may have one much cheaper." Garrard was mistaken about the uni versal popularity of the Hcheme, for it is on record that many of the trades men protested against it. They said that when ladies and gentlemen walked the streets they had time to stop and | make purchases, but now they were I whisked by in hackney-coaches they j did not have either a chanco to inspect i the goods or buy them. Lodging ' house keepers on the principal streets also complained that the noise made I by the new vehicles drove their tenants ! to seek quieter quarters elsewhere. Attention and Memory. ; A good memory is so very useful and desirable a thing that persons who i profess to teach artificial systems of I memorizing easily obtain attention and j profitable patronage; but there is really no such thing as an "artificial ; memory," nor even as an artificially assisted memory. Many peojile would ' undoubtedly have better memories ; than they now have if, in their youth, I or in their past life, they had under stood the simple physiological princi i pies upon which the memory is | founded. The most important part of the mem- I orv is the stowing away of things, nol the bringing of them forth again; and if people are careful during the period of life which is chielly occupied in stowing away things to do this work with attention and thoroughness, and if they are able in after life to keep themselves in a fairly good state of health and vigor, they are not iikely to , be troubled with poor memory. The first and most important element of memory is the taking of an impres sion in such away that it is likely to be retained; the more sharp and vivid this impression is made, the more per manent it is likely to be. Attention in taking in what we wish to learn, then, is the secret of remem bering it afterward. Plenty of people who have very "poor memories," as the term is used, remem ber certain things with great vivid ness. Their deficiency is not so much that they cannot remember as that they cannot remember the right things. "I can recall," said a gentleman not long ago, "the exact outward appear ance of my old brown-covercd algebra on the day that the teachor took it out of my hand and hit me on the side of the head with it. I can remember that I had cut a triangular piece out of the leather at the lower right-hand corner of the front cover, and that the back cover was loosened half way up; but not one single thiug that was between the covers of that book remains with me at this time." The explanation of this familiar phe nomenon undoubtedly lies partly ir the fact that the boy was much inter ested in the circumstances atteudirg the cutting which ho received, and tin implement with which it was inflicted, but ho was never interested at all in the contents of the algebra. It was in obedience to this principle that the custom arose in England—o custom continuing down to within the present century—of fixing and preserv ing a general knowledge of metes and bounds by whipping boys close by them. Whenever a stake or a stone wa* placed to mark the boundary between towns or estates, and also at more oi less regular intervals afterward, seve ral bovs wero taken to the spot and soundly beaten, their attention being meantime constantly directed to the boundary mark. It was believed that the boy so punished never forgot where the stake or Htone was, and his testi mony concerning it was always accept ed in default of better evidence. To be thoroughly interested, indeed, is the surest way of implanting facts oi words in the memory, and it is always within the power of the young, and oi those more advanced in years as well, by paying patient, willing and intelli gent attention to what they are reading or studying, to keep its essential feat ures in mind through life. Noxious Moonlight. The injurious effect of moonlight is almost a übiquitous belief, and, though an erroneous one in its literal sense, is founded upon experience which makes it probable that moonlight nights often coincide with atmospheric conditions that exercise a noxious upon day creatures, especially men, pigeons and horses. If the children of the Yucatan In dians are playing outdoors in the even ing, their parents are sure to drive them iu as soon as the moon rises, lest it should make them night-e t yed and unfit for day labor. For similar rea sons the Frencli-Turcos screen their eyes with the friuge of their turbans during a moonlicrht march, and most sailors on a man-of-war endure the effluvia of a cock-pit, even in the trop ics, rather than sleep on deck where the moon might shine upon their eyelids. The Neapolitan beggars, who roam bare-headed through the streets in the glare of the noontide sun, are all pro vided with little bags which they draw over their scalps like nightcaps, while they sleep on an open porch or among the ruins of the Pelazzo Vecchia. for fear that the moonlight should make them gray-liaired, and the mountain eers of the Jura go so far as to ascribe their eroitres to the poor satellite. Mile same origin naa, probably, tne frightful stories wliich the Greeks used to tell about their goddess, Hecate (one of the dozen appellations of the moon), who made the dogs howl if she entered a village upon her nocturnal rambles, poisoned crops that crossed her path, blighted flowers and petrified men and animals that met her ice-cold optic. It is almost certain that the moon is as innocent of the cause of somnambu lism as of lunacy, but there is no doubt but that, even in summer time, the air of a chilly, moonlight night does not agree with a majority of men; and army officers know that two or three night expeditions exhaust veterans and old calvary horses that couldn't be knocked out by a dozen forced day marches in the hottest time of the dog-day season. Curious Psychic Phenomena. At a recent club meeting some "creepy" stories were told which may please lovers of the marvelous, though they deal with dreams rather than ghosts. A certain physician—we may call him Doctor Z.—was one uiglit awakened by a man who said that his wife was very ill and desired the doctor to see her. He stated that he lived in Mr. X.'s house. Doctor Z. followed his visitor, entered the house, and was taken into a chamber whore on the bed lay a woman in the last stages of con sumption. He told her husband, who had summoned him, that site could live but a short time, but prescribed some relieving medicine. Then he went home, promising to return the next day. True to his promise, he re turned the follow ing morning, but was surprised to find the building fast closed. The man at work in the gar den said that the house had not been occupied for years. The doctor, amazed, insisted on entering, and found unmis takable signs of desertion; the place was thick with dust and cobwebs. In the chamber he had visited all was dust covered and dreary. The bed had not been used for a long time. Yet the room seemed perfectly familiar to liim, even to tile pattern of the wall paper. To add to the oddity of the thing, the place had the reputation of being haunted. A somewhat similar experi ence was that of a gentleman who, while at sea during a storm, distinctly saw his wife enter his stateroom and kiss him. When, on his arrival homo, he met her in reality, one of the first things she said was, "Did you receive a visit from me a week |ago ?" "How could I?" ho said. "Well," said she, "I thought you were in danger, and I walked over the dark water until I came to a low, black vessel. I went up the side and entered the cabin, and leaned over you und kissed you." She accurately described the room and the ship, though she had never seen either. Honest. "He is really so honest that he ought to be put in solitary confinement!" said an exasperated man of a neighbor who was always telling him unpalatable truths. The offender was guiltless of a desire to offend; he simply could not refrain from speaking what was in his mind. There are Bcntimental occa sions when most of us actually do pre fer an embroidered statement to literal fact. "Shouldn't you know a lock of my liair anywhere, John ?" queried an af fectionate young wife, whose tresses were her husband's prido. "I think I should," he returned, cau tiously, and she broke into a cry of real dismay. "Oh, don't say that! Say you know you should I" Hut John was not to bo persuaded. He merely thought so, and that only would he assert. "I shall think of you constantly," said a Indy whose first novel was in press to a departing guest, "uutil I get my proof-sheets!" It was a very affectionate husband who uttered the most literal interpre tation on record. "I believe," said his wife, proudly, after some great instance of his unself ish devotion, "I believe you would let yourself be cut into inch pieces for me!" The husband looked doubtful. "Make the pieces six inches, Mary," he returned, honestly, "and maybe I could stand it." Tliey Struck the Bad I'lace. A loynl North Carolinian, who served in the Union army, tolls this story in connection with the resin-beds, which are found in the turpentine districts. During Gen. Sherman's famous march to the sea, a part of the Twentieth Army Corps was halted in a soction of this forest and prepared to camp for the night. The soldiers wore some what mystified in finding so large a stretch of smooth, solid rock, but con gratulated themselves that they would not have to bivouac in the mud. Knap sacks were unslung, guards were mounted and fires were kindled at different points, and the tired and weary veterans were preparing to set tle down for a comfortable rest. The heat of the fires softened the resin. First it began to sputter, then great black clouds of smoke began to ascend, and suddenly huge columns of fire shot up, seemingly from the very bowels of the earth. The whole camp was in commotion, the men beat a precipitate retreat, and soon the whole placo was a seething, roaring mass of flame. One of the soldiers, as he grabbed his gun and started, shouted a warning to his comrades: "ltnn, boys! We've struck The Automatic Cash Boy. "Tlio inventor of this automatic cash and parcel system," said a salesman in one of the big Twenty-third street shops yesterday as he switched his cus tomer's purchase and money up into the air and sent it whirling away to a central change and wrapping station, "was a poor shop boy like myself. He Bold out for SIOO,OOO, but could be mak ing a great deal more than the income of that sum now if ho had held on. 1 ,ook at this shop; the aisles are not filled up with cash-boys or cash-girls and the customers have more room and better air. We have eighty automatic stations in use, and we pay a royalty of S2O a year for each Btotion. That makes a total of SI,OOO a year for the sorvice. Suppose we employed fifty cash-boys—we couldn't get along with less—and paid them the low figure of SIOO a year. We could get them for that, cheap as it seems. They would cost us $0,500 in a year. Quite a sav ing, isn't it ? Who was the inventor? He was a Philadelphia salesman named Blickensderfer."— New York World. GERMAN experiments have proven I that sea-mud is a much better fertilizer for rye and oats than fnrm-yard ma nure. GET on the right horse and you will have a run of luck at the races. A PRETTY PARLOR PASTIME. Capturing; the Fort—How It Is Played. Is eJ " FO\T Tke board is made as shown in the engraving. Each player has thirty men, which are placed in the two ante rooms AA. Each player must enter his men on the battle-field, or checker board, by entrances CC. They may enter at any point along lines XXX, one ma nat a time. When a player enters a man that constitutes a move, and then the other player enters a man, and so on. Each player may have a many men on the board as he chooses. Now plav the same as checkers. When ft man enterß either of the squares E, it at once becomes a king and must be crowned. Next they must enter the fort byway of squares D D, after first occupying square H. Nothing but kings can enter the fort. The player that gets the most men in the fort cap tures it. Men can bo jumped the same as in checkers. Single men can only be moved from tho player, but kings in any direction. Common checkers will answer for men. What a Lady Does Not I(o. jfa are several Amlw', I things always absent ■piSHI I in a true lady, which % girls will do well to notice and remem tffj'YV'N A lady, for exam —V- I A I'lo, will never ignore yx'X v JA little kindnesses. \\ \\A? \ Conelu dein a \\_V ) urow( l that she has a right to push her w ay through. \ Consume the time l ,eo P' e who can ill rim]] yflll |Vt spare it. /l/l \l\\ hIA\ Wear on the street ||j a H\\ W|\ \ft dress only fitted f I 11 vu 1 I '° t ' le h° use or car- It II vl\ \ l ' 1 " 1 loudly in \\ at WW public places, i t 111 Wear a torn glove, when a needle and thread and a few stitches would make it all right. Fail in answering letters or return ing visits, unless she is ill or in trouble. Fret about the heat or the cold, the sun or the rain, the air or the lack of it. Make an engagement and then not bo on time. Complain of her family or discuss personal affairs with strangers. Always believe the worst rather than the best side of a story. A lady does not do any other than make the best of everything—the world, the weather and herself. She believes in tho golden rule, and endeavors as far as possible to live up to it; and that's what you and I ought to promise every morning that we will try nnd do during the day. A Dress Reform Fiend. Have you ever been cornered by a dress reform fiend? She is generally a woman who is at war with herself be cause she does not look as well as her neighbors, so by njp adopting what she y —-N kg. calls dress-reform /yi. j I ImvX she can look a fright // \— I H , and still be follow - 1 w&j ii:g a "fad." She f . yjl It usually has a mus lL fI * 'VMij'J? 'a''' lo - and enlarges ( l | on the merits of H !)| HR equestrian pants. 'M II W slie ' s i ni f?'"° ae d ™ _ 'J_ Ifiv an d spectacled, A DRESS REFORMER, with a wart on her chin, she is still moro unique. If her build be of the cheese variety she is oertainly a picture of sans corsets, skirts, and all those dainty little femi niuo nothings that go to make a woman ly woman. She reads pamphlets on dress reform and attends loetures, oven though home interests suffer. If your clothes fit she says you are cor seted, if you are natty while she is un attractive and plain you arc living be yond your income. She criticises and finds ' fault with every ouo, and yet never does a clever thing herself, un less it is to live without work and with out stays. A Lesson Well Learned. I was a mere youngster when I learned two important lessons in busi ness matters: never to lose anything and never to forget anything. An old lawyer gave me an inipoi taut paper, with instructions what to do with it. "But," I inquired, "suppose I lose it; what shall I do then?" "You must not lose it!" "I don't intend to; sup pose I should happen to?" "But I say you must not happen to: I shall make no provision for any such occurrence; you must not lose it!" This started me on a new train of thought, and from that very hour I resolved never to fail in these particulars. I once had an intelligent young man in my em ployment who deemed it sufficient excuse for neglecting any important task to say, "I forgot it." I told him that would not answer. If he was sufficiently interested, he would be careful to remember. It was because he did not care enough that he forgot it. I drilled him with this truth. Ho worked for me three years, and during the last of the time lie was utterly changed in this respect. He did not forget anything. His forgetting, he found, was a lazy, careless habit of the mind, wliioh ho cured. It Worked. "How's your family, Slowpoke?" "Pretty well. Boy has been siok, Had him vaccinated." "Did it work?" "Yes; and it is about the only thing in the family that has worked since the strike."— Chicago Ledger. Face nuil Figure. "See this check, Jones?" "Yes; for a thousand, eh?" "Exactly; only I refer to the fine lithograph work an it." "Oh I I admire its face less than its figure!"— Chicago Ledger.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers