SUCH IS LIFE — A Play on Words & THE PATTON COURIER By Charles Sughroe WHAT ARE | TELL ME=|S IT CORREC T Sine A HORSE E WELL, THEN, I'M GOIN' TO MILK Yale made an innovation in its feot- ball coaching in appointing Dr. John W. Wilce, former coach of the Ohio State university eleven, as advisory coach at Yale. Doctor Wilce is known nationally as an analytical student of football and his investigation of the existing coaching situation at Yale is expected to yield practical results in improvement of technique. “Dead” Man Demands His Money Detroit, Mich.—~Walter H. Dom- zalski, a Detroit attorney and a ma- gician of no little ability, has a prob- lem that will require all of his cun- ning as a :awyer and his skill as a sleight of hand artist to solve. As a member of a magicians’ union who can pull white rabbits out of a hat and create oranges where eggs were before, Mr. Domzalski has estab- lished quite a reputation for himself. Now, according to his own admission, he has a feat of legal legerdemain to perform. He must prove that his client, Joe Slominski of Josephat’s alley, who is legally dead @nd buried, is very much alive and entitled to the residue of his own estate of approximately $600. Most of the $600 has been used up long ago to pay the funeral expenses and administrate the estate of the other man buried as Joe Slominski, according to Mr. Domzalski. Here’s the story: Back in 1927 Slo- minski, who lived with friends In Josephat’s alley, which is somewhere near Canfield avenue and Hastings street, did some drinking and eventual- ly he found himself undergoing treat- ment in the county hospital at Eloise. September 29, 1927, Joe was reported missing, A few days later the police notified friends that a man answering Joe's description had been killed by a street car. The friends identified the dead man as Joe Slominski. A Chene street undertaker took the body to Joe's former home on the alley for the funeral services. There Joe’s more intimate friends said: “Why, that’s not Slominski. This man is too big to be Joe.” 3ut friends who accompanied the undertaker said: “Sure that’s Joe.” The funeral services were held for Joe Slominski. The funeral cost $125. In the nearly two years that followed much of the rest of the $600 was distributed ae- cording to a will that Slominski had made. Mr. Domzalski brings the story up to date. Recently Joe Slominski wandered from Eloise and went fishing. He caught six fine carp and sold them to a passing motorist for 25 cents, the first money he had obtained since 1927, Indians Mix Up in “Triangle” Rapid City, S. D.—“Indian woman she elope just like ‘paleface’ woman,” complains Long Wolf, full blooded Sioux, who is searching the Indian reservations of South Dakota and the territory adjacent for his erring wife, who eloped with another warrior of the tribe—John Poor Thunder. If he comes up with the elopers Long Wolf promises to send the wife stealer to the “happy hunting ground” of the Sioux via the knife or six shooter route. The deserted husband was in Rapid City recently striving to get some trace of the elopers. Until about four months ago Long Wolf and his wife had lived happily on the Pine Ridge reservation, south- east of Rapid City. At that time Long Wolf joined the 101 Wild West show, his wife accompanying him on their show route. It was while the show was in a 300000000000 00000000000000 Refuses to Give Up 4 Cents to Bandit Newark, N. J.—Joseph Rein, truck driver, refused to surren- der the 4 cents he had in kis pocket when a hold-up man jumped onto the running board of his truck and pressed a glit- tering knife against his ribs. In- stead Rein pushed the man off the truck, drove to the nearest store, borrowed another penny and called police from a pay telephone. Detectives arrested a negro, later identified as the unsuccessful bandit, ©0000000000000000000000000 The Cat Came Back Elma, Wash.—A pet cat owned by Mr. and Mrs. George Birdeye has com- pleted an 80-mile trip on foot. The Birdeyes went to California for a va- cation trip and they decided to leave their cat with friends in Auburn. The cat did not like the arrangement and in a few days covered the 80 miles from Auburn to Elma, city in the eastern section of South Dakota that his wife met Poor Thun- der, who appears to be the Lothario of the Sioux tribe. His lovemaking with the wife of Long Wolf must have been fast and furious, for it was only a few days after the two had first met until they turned up missing. Long Wolf at once resigned his place with the show and started on the trail of the elopers. He traced them to various places on the Pine AUTUMN STREET SUIT A tailored suit for autumn wear. Deep fall tones are its colorings. Brown and orange predominate, The blouse is of orange crepe. Odd Team Draws St. Louis Milk Wagon CECE “Hans” and “Tanta,” a pair of zebras broken to harness when very young, are used by a St. Louis dairy company to haul one of their wagons during the early morning hours. Ridge reservation, but in each instance when he reached the place where they were reported to be they had again fled. The trail is said to have finally led to Rapid City, but here the wronged husband was unable to find any trace of them. It is thought they may have dou- bled back and gone to a remote part of the Pine Ridge reservation, or they may have made their way through the Black Hills to eastern Wyoming. While in Rapid City Long Wolf stated he would keep on their trail, if necessary, the remainder of the fall and all winter, as he was determined to punish the Indian “scalawag” who robbed him of his wife. No man writes so affectionately and so effectively of na- ture as the man who has been deprived of intimacy with it. The 25 cents inspired Joe to take a street car and com2 to Detroit, where he went immediately to Josephat's alley to surprise his friends. The sur- prise worked—both ways. EDUCATION AND DISCIPLINE By THOMAS ARKLE CLARK Dean of Men, University of Illinois. Mrs. Collins came in to see me a short time ago concerning her son who is shortly to fin- ish a course in a high-priced pre- paratory school. She had the child by the hand when she came in. He was an indifferent look- ing youth with little enthusiasm apparently for the strenuous activi- ties of life. He let his mother do the talking, and she talked very easily. “lI want George to go to college,” she assured me, “and I am sure he will do well if he can find something not too hard that he likes. What would you suggest?” I hado’w anything in mind, and 1 told her She was not wanting her son to Eave an education; she was locking for a pleasant, easy experi- ence m@querading under the guise of training She had never heard the statemert of a very wise man, or if she had heard she had forgotten, that “an edvcation that is not a discipline can scaréely be considered a prepara- tion for life.” It is only when we subject ourselves to the discipline of the difficult task, and do it well wheth- er or not we like it or find it pleasant that we really progress far in educa- tion. I said as much as this to Mrs. Collins, but she did not understand me, and my statements bored her son. Ruskin’s early life, he tells us, was a very guarded one. He was given very little responsibility ; he was kept from error and harm and pot allowed to make his own decisions or to learn through failure the necessity of self- discipline. Hc acknowledged when he was an old man that this defect in his early education unfitted him for the Jean Borchers of Chicago was chos- cago council of the organization, and her portrait appears on its new post- ers. discipline of life and became the cause to him of failure and misfortune. Any education which does not involve a rigid discipline of one’s self is pretty much a failure. Much of the trend of education to- day, in and out of schools and col- leges, is towards making the path of youth smoother and easier. We are doing everything we can to make ed- ucation pleasant and attractive—ta lower the grade and remove the bar- riers to progress, and to make the dis- cipline less rigid. The effect is not al- together good. Wood and I were talking over old times a few cvenings ago. We had had the same difficult course in cot- lege under the same instructor—a hopelessly inefficient instructor, he was, too. We had put a pretty loud howl at that time regarding the little help he gave us and the rigid results he required, but all to no effect. If we passed the course, as fortunately we did, it was because we set out te discipline our own minds. “I guess it was a good thing for us, after all,” Wood concluded at the end of our discussion, “it prepared us for the more difficult things of life which come to every man when he gets out into the world, no matter what job or profession he falls into.” It is really discipline which counts most in education and in life. (©), 1929, Western Newspaper Union.) Nation’s uarrel Over Islands Paris.—Although both the Quai d'Or. say in Paris and the foreign office in to know nothing about it, there is a serious dispute as to the ownership of three tiny islands lying between th2 Jersey islands and St. Malo, on the French coast, The Miniquieres, like the Jersey is lands themselves, form a part of the old duchy of Normandy. Although these islands are within a few miles of the French coast and are French by tradition and language the Jersey group has belonged to the English for centuries, Bathed by the Gulf stream, the {is- lands have a climate like Florida, 1& strange contrast to the French main- fand where the winters are rigorous. A Paris millionaire, Henri Leroux prominent as a heavy plunger on the bourse, decided to build a castle on one of the Miniquieres. Believing that the island was French, he applied to the French au- thorities at St. Lo and obtained writ- ten authorization to build on the is- land and a rental lease of 99 years on the whole island. GroTeateatealeedneteatregeadeatealentueteateatealentestoedretreteeteeseetiel oe oe 3 + DIPPING INTO % > 3 3 ¥ SCIENCE 4 s 3 Hele o& 5 3 % Modern World Wonders 3 & The ancients referred to great & # works of art in enumerating the 3 & seven wonders of the world, but o& K . & % our present achievements are Pa more along the lines of science, > x Today, therefore, we consider 4 4 the modern seven wonders as % oe ~ > bd & follows: The X-ray and spec % trum analysis, antiseptics and J & antitoxins, aeronautics, wireless # and radio, telephone, telegraph 3 4 and radium. & %* (©). 1929, Western Newspaper Union.) x ° . ¥ oo 0a 0%4% 6% 6% 4 00204 eo 0s 4 0s se so 0a ee se nate" oelealealonlreleallealeadeelsolredredeelredredsaleedenenteiefeedeedes London make --ery effort to pretenc | The officials at St. Helier, in Jer- sey, heard of the building and or dered work stopped in the name cf King George of England. The pre- text is that the islands form part ot the duchy of Normandy, and that to prove the sovereignty of the British king, a union jack is unfurled, sym- holically, one day each year over the island. The tradition of the duchy is that | of the sovereign ruler, must go to St. Helier and cry three times: “Haro, haro, haro. Help me, good prince, for a wreag has been done.” That tradition dates back to good old Rollo, and the crying must be done in a public place, Leroux has in mind a much more simple solution; he plans to appeal to the Quai d'Orsay and if that does not produce action, to the League of Leroux, if he wants to gain the ear i Nations. It’s a Myth THE SIMPLE TASTE OF THE i154 MYTH. OLD FASHIONED GIRL a a A 2 AE 3 Fo Cornet © MaQure Nevipapar Spniiste en as the typical girl scout by the Chi- | the word *‘genuine’’ The Mark of Genuine Aspirin.. BAver ASPIRIN is like an old friend, tried and true. There can never be a satisfactory sube stitute for either one. Bayer Aspirin is genuine, It is the accepted antidote for pain. Its relief may always be relied on, whether used for the occae sional headache, to head-off a cold, or for the more serious aches and pains from neuralgia, neuritis, rheumatism or other ailments. It’s easy to identify Bayer Aspirin by the Bayer Cross on every tablet, by the name Bayer on the box and always printed in red. Aspirin {s the trade mark of Bayer Manufacture of Mono. @aceticacidester of Sallcylicacid Areas Reserved for Birds Forty bird sanctuaries have been reserved in Canada “y the department of the interior under the migratory | birds convention act, which is the | federal law for the protection of mi- | gratory birds. There are also fifty- one public shooting grounds reserved by the Dominion government in west- ern Canada. Shooting is allowed on these latter areas in the open season. Composition of Water Water is composed of two gases— oxygen and hydrogen. These are held together by a force which, if sudden- ly liberated, in but a drop, would pro- duce a flash of lightning. Classifies 256,000 Stars About 32,000 observations of wvari- able stars were sent to the Harvard observatory in a single year by 100 observers. One of the monumental pieces of work there, says Nature Magazine, has been Miss Annie J. Can- non’s classification of over 256,000 stars, according to their various types, by means of their spectral lines. This work requires expert ability of the highest order and Miss Cannon has been the recipient of many honors. A Wedding Belle Blinks—She’s been quite a belle in her day. Married four times. Jinks—Had four men ring her, eh? When Baby ills and ailments seem twice as serious at night. A sud- den cry may mean colic. Or a sudden attack of diarrhea—a con- dition it is always important to check quickly. How would you meet this. emergency—tonight? Have you a bottle of Castoria ready? There is nothing that can take the place of this harmless but effective remedy for children; nothing that acts quite the same, or has quite the same comforting effect on them. For the protection of your wee one—for your own peace of mind —keep this old, reliable prepara- Spruce Best for Rayon The spruce of northern Canada is considered the most suitable raw ma- terial for the manufacture of rayon by the viscose process Cellulose in the form of sulphite pulp, derived from this wood, is now being shipped from Canada to all parts of the world for the manufacture of artificial silk. Love and Humanity Love is but another name for that inscrutable presence by which the soul is connected with humanity.—Simms. pap D are upset To “pursue” happiness is to lose it. CX al ll Net Contents 15 Fluid Drac! [ = i 900 Drops ASTORI ALCOHOL - 3 PER CENT. AVegetable Freparationfors- similatingthe Food by Regula. ting the Stomechs and Bowes of} TZ Er AIT Thereby Promoting Digestion if Oren ness and Rest Costas neither Opium, Morphine nef Mineral. NOT NARCOTIC Rieipeo Ghd Di SANUELATORER Sd Pemphn Ate Sly nie Sood + finan ads Cn A helpful Remedy for Constipation and Di i and Feverishness a! Loss OF SLEEP resulting therefrom inln’ Pac Simile Signature of be By H (1180S 3s as 4 ticn always on hand. But don’t keep it just for emergencies; let it be an everyday aid. Its gentle influence will ease and soothe the infant who cannot sleep. Its mild regulation will help an older child whose tongue is coated because of sluggish bowels. All druggists have Castoria; the genuine bears Chas. H. Fletcher’s signature on the wrapper, Expatriates Still Pensioned If a soldier is receiving a pension, removal to a foreign country would not deprive him of it. During the World war the pensions of many Civil war veterans living in Germany were cut off, but this was owing to lack of communication between the two coun- tries, After the war all these vet- erans received their back pension money.—Pathfinder Magazine. Scandinavian Mythology The Edda is the book of the mytho- logical lore of Scandinavia by Snorri Sturluson in the Thirteenth century. “Goes Army” Perhaps he doesn’t learn a few things! ON’T envy a man who “only has to work a typewriter.” So we were told by Mr. Solon S. Bloom of 3503 Woodbrook Avenue, Baltimore, Md., whose health began to give way because his work gave him no bodily exercise. #1 decided to get away to a military training camp,” says Mr. Bloom, $‘thinking the rough and tumble with the army would do me good for a month, I asked the doctor what to do about my condition. ‘I’ve seen men, I've known men,” he said. ‘I know what they eat, drink, and how they live. I know cathartics, physics, and all the ways men try to keep themselves regular—and the only two that go together well are men and Nujol. Nujol soothes and heals the membranes and expels bodily poisons normally, naturally, easily, so that you are regular as clock-work.’ 22 That was what Mr. Bloom learned when be left his typewriter and went When a White Collar Man into the army. If you are like most other people, you too will find that Nujol will make all the difference in the world in the way you feel. Remember Nujol is not a medi- cine, for it contains no drugs of any kind. It is simply bodily lubrica- tion that everybody needs. You can get a bottle of Nujol at any good drug store, in a sealed pack- age, for the price of a couple of good cigars. If you will start today and try it for two weeks you will agree that Nujol is the easy normal way to keep well and make a success out of your life. You will be astonished at tee results! fa ee t ¢ IT W ROMAN ORL 4 y D. J. i a A eee © ELVIN RII looked acr gers at the was gazing the high office wir suggested a garder flowers—and the gir him of a wild rose like bookkeepers. prosaic and unima; She admired soldier: show her, darn it— The shrill ringing brought Melvin bacl start. Deliberately, was engaged, he ste Starling. “D’you seq towers, way down tree tops?” “Yes,” she noddec “They're turrets ¢ “A castle—in breated, her wide ¢ his. “Sure. It's old : long story. Let me and then I can tell ; “That would be | Satisfied, Melvin re gers. Clever, level-heac strange streak of | lessness in his ms had been on the girl. A time or so found her—but this tive. In the week tl at the DMuffett A Melvin had fallen h ly—and permanent! That night he ch pared for bed. Cl mendously interest: the castle, an anc high above the Jan looking Indian parl She expressed a ( he immediately of “Tomorrow night full,” he had said ‘movie,’ and after and view the cast moonlight. “Is it—haunted?” “No. Occupied | but somewhat ecc admitted. Chloe looked r afraid of ghosts,” sl I suppose you coul ordinary danger.” So that was wt him! Melvin writ from his anguish He recalled that B Smith, the two cler in amateur theatric makeup. After of confided his plan tc their aid. “It'll m brave,” he explain wistfully, “and Chl “Romance to or lins. “Lost your haven't you?” “Im going to nm replied, dignifiedly. “Then,” his frier to us to help win t The morninz pap account of an att night before in Ind that the holdup | wore dark mustac eign looking. The dovetailed beautif plans, and he liste isfaction as the of discussed it. He v whose brother was sponsible for the he looked forward would prove to ( brave as any sold thoughts wandered The “movie” was vin had selected | even the bright lig! parlor he and Ch ately after the per entirely lift the spe down the three which led to the ps companionably on The moon was I eerie light made or strange and unrea the stillness, and | shadows were blacl huge and forbiddin No lights were an) houetted against th rets, with long, na gested the menace men. Chloe shivered, a closer and began overhanging balcor and a beautiful st. in the chapel. Bi dered, were Smith he smiled inward sprang from aroun pbery and barred th short, heavy, fore tricky moonlight, were made up! “Gimme your |[ snarled, reaching ingly. “You thug!” Me cally. Then he crashed against his and almost fell, T seized Chloe by the little vanity case, at her watch. It wasn't the b holdup. Fool to loved to such a hour! Chloe was ately in the grasp vin,” she sobbed. bis muddled brair
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers