( Booked For Matrimony By NEWTON CHANCE. Copyrighted, 1909, by Associated Literary Press. Paul Ardmore nodded bis thnuk9 to the conductor ns be swung down tbe car steps to the snow covered platform and made bis way toward the waiting room. No expectant committee gnthered about the stove, and the only signs of life were the clicking of the telegraph Instruments ami a tblu film of very rank tobacco smoke that curled from under the closed window of the ticket ofllce. He waited a minute; then be rapped on the ground glass, ami presently a face, appearing in the opening, evinced surly interest. "I am Professor Ardmore," explained Paul. "I am to give a lecture nt the Gothic church. There Is no committee to meet me, and there seems to be no hack about the station." "There Is one generally, but Jim got a job driving a feller over to Moor wny. He'll be back to meet the 0:13, but If you don't want to wait It's easy to walk there. You go down the road a piece till you come to Pine street. Then you go over to Maple until you come to Spruce. It's Just around the corner on Spruce. Are you that feller that was to lecture In the Star course last night and didn't come? The ladies got up a show, so they wouldn't have to give the money back." Taul clutched at his pocket and ex tracted a letter. He glanced at the fine feminine handwriting and breathed a sigh of relief. "It is for the 17th,". he announced In relief. "I am so absehtmlnded that I have to be very careful of my dates. Perhaps the committee has discovered the error and will gather the audience again tonight. In any event It would be best for me to go over." He turned up the collar of his ulster to protect bis throat and, leaving the station, plunged through the drifting snow. It was not a long wnlk, for Maple wood was a small place, and present ly he Teas in sight of the church that was attended by the town's fashiona ble families. To his relief the lights shone out, and a little knot of people stood about the door. They eyed him curiously as he push ed his way through to the door and entered the vestibule. Several young women came forward expectantly as be entered, and Paul, deciding that they were the committee of the Ladles' guild, grasped an outstretched hand. . . "They told me at the station that the lecture was yesterday, or, rather, that the audience had gathered yes terday through some error," he said cordially. "I am glad that you were able to gather them together agnin this evening. I presume an error was made." The welcoming smile faded from the girlish faces. "You are the lecturer?" cried one. "We thought you were the bridegroom." . "Mercy, no!" exclaimed Taul, color ing vividly. "The lecture was announced for last night," went on the speaker. "The gnlld members organized an Impromp tu concert to avoid disappointing the audience. You might at least have tele graphed when you found that you could not come." " , "But I have come," declared Taul as "he produced his letter. "Your commu nication says very distinctly that the lecture Is on the 17th." The girl took the letter unbelieving ly, then gave a little cry of dismay. "You are Frofessor Ardmore?" she cried. "It was Burton- Brooks, the Egyptologist, who was to have lec tured Inst night. Your lecture Is to be given on the 27th. I made the mistake In the date. This Is my letter. I am very sorry. "I enn come again on the 27th," promised Taul as he perceived the girl's distress. "I take It that there Is a wedding here this evening. May I stay until It Is time for njy train? It Is scarcely Inviting at the station, and U1B UKUUt BIIIOKCH VLTV DllOl tOOnCCO. ' "Yes; we've reported his bad man ners to the compiiny dozens of times," was the discouraged reply. "You are welcome here, but It Is a rehearsal for the bridal party, not the wedding." She led the way into the body of -the church, and Paul slipped into a pew on the side aisle, glad of a rest ful haven until train time. Presently the organ pealed, and at the first strains there entered the groom and bis best man. An elderly woman, who seemed to have constitut ed herself the mistress of ceremonies, shouted to the organist to stop and charged upon the sheepish groom. "Go backr she cried. "You don't . give the organ, a chancel He's got to - play the. march all the way through, and if you come out now you'll have to stand like a toy figure waiting for the bride to come In Don't come un til I say 'Now' and then remember the place in tne muBici" The groom and his supporter stum bled back Into the vestry, and again toe organ pealed out the wedding march. Paul turned curiously to look at the bridal party, and for a moment bis pulse seemed to cease Its beat . TThe little bride was none other than Eleanor Klngsland, the one woman In the world that Paul worshiped; and his worship was not thejess Intense be cause be bad never told, of bis lore. He had thought of her always as a child, for be was Terr roung himself for the position that bp held, and In consequence felt himself "ty be tremen-i 4pusly oM. Be had meant some day to tell Us love and seek' her for his own, bat he I bad delayed his proposal until It was too late. Now she was about to be come the bride of that sheepish look ing chap standing in the chnucel. He half rosens though to leave; then he sank back Into his sent again. He would drink the cup of humiliation to the very dregs. He would see the girl he loved go through the form of marriage which on the morrow would be performed; then be would go back to his own narrow, loveless life bear ing the knowledge that delay had cost him happiness. Miserably he watched the procession form and break, to form again In re sponse to the directress, but nt Inst the rehearsal was pronounced perfect. The groom and bis best man made their appearance on the very note thnt brought them to pause expectantly be fore the bride started and yet gave her time to step Into place before the music stopped. With a brisk "All right!" the direc tress led the way down to the Sunday school room, with the announcement that refreshments were to be served there. Taul rose, hoping to steal out unobserved. . It never would do to meet Eleanor now. She could rend his secret In bis face, and he would not contribute even so slightly to her happiness at such a moment. But even ns he rose Eleanor turned and came swiftly toward him. : 'Taul Ardmore!" she cried as sh offered her hand. "And I bad the fun niest feeling thnt you were here. All through the ceremony I felt It, and when Jeanne told me that you really were here I was delighted. Did you see the rehearsal? Isn't It going to be lovely?" "As lovely ns the bride deserves," declared Taul gallantly. ."Do yon know her?" cried Eleanor In astonishment. "You nre she," reminded rnul, but Eleanor shook her head gayly. "I almost wish that I was," she cried "all the excitement over one glA, even though she Is as beautiful as Letty Brace. I was Just her substi tute because she had to have her dress fitted. Taul, do you know, I think a dress like that should tempt me to marry anybody." "I shall have to see Miss Brace's dressmaker," said Taul gravely, "for I want to tempt you to matrimony. I thought that you were too young to give up all men for Just one, but when I saw you standing beside another at the altar and felt that I had not spo ken in time" "Mercy! I'm getting to be an old maid," Insisted Eleanor, with a laugh. "This Is my third season, and I've been waiting for the right man to come along." "And has he?" pressed Paul. Eleanor glanced shyly up Into his face. "I guess he has," she confessed, and Paul's face turned radiant "We shall have to have the guild secretary for our best girl I mean the bridesmaid," he corrected. "It was she who booked me for matrimony as well as a lecture." Skylarks, John Burroughs relates that a num ber of years ago a friend In England sent him a score of skylarks In a cage. He gave them their liberty In a field near where he lived. They drifted away, and he never heard or saw them again. But one Sunday a Scotchman from a neighboring city called on him and declared, with visible excitement, that on bis way along the road he had heard a skylark. He was not drenm lng; he knew it was a skylark, though he had not heard one since he had left the banks of the Doon a quarter of a century or more before. The song had given him Infinitely more pleasure than It would have given to the natu ralist himself. Many years ago some skylarks were liberated on Long Is land, and they became established there and may now occasionally be heard In certain localities. One sum mer day a lover of birds journeyed ont from the city In order to observe them. A lark was soaring and singing In the sky above him. An old Irish man came along and suddenly stopped, as If transfixed to the spot A look of mingled delight and incredulity came Into his face. Was he indeed hearing the bird of his youth? He took off bis bat and turned his face skyward and, with moving lips and streaming eyes, stood a long time regarding the bird. "Ah," thought the student of nature, "if I could only hear the bird as he hears that song with his ears!" To the man of science It was only a bird song to be critically compared to a score of others, but to the other It brought back his youth and all those long gone days on bis native hills.' , Bor the Teat Well. A famous dramatist was the hero of one of the most amusing marriage pro posal experiences on record. When as a young man he fell In lore with the pretty daughter of a pastor be was afraid to face the lady and so wrote her a letter. He was told to call the next afternoon and receive bis an swer. On reaching the bouse he was shown into a room and given a seat on a sofa. The servant said that the lady would soon appear. He sat and hung around In that room for fully two hours, often tempted to leare the house or make a break for further In formation, but not baring the courage to do either. At last he could stand It no longer and rushed Into the corridor, making for the door out of the bouse. Then he beard a shout of clear, silvery laughter In the room he bad left He hastened back and saw the face of bis sweetheart peeping : out ' from under the sofa, convulsed with mirth. "Do forgive me," she ejaculated. "I simply wanted to find out how long you would wait for me. You hare borne the test well. Now help me to' my feet" Ladles' Borne Journal. Town Booming Helps I. Cackle! Cackle! Cackle! When Ambassador Choate went to England he made a reputation as a wit with one joke. He sat at the breakfast table be side a sprightly young lady. In England they serve soft boiled eggs wrapped in a napkin. The young lady fumbled, and the egg fell to the floor. "Oh, Mr,. Choate," she cried in dis may, "what shall I dot I have dropped my egg!" "CACKLE, my dear, CACKLE!" It's a mighty good thing to do a little CACKLING once in awhile. CACKLE about your business, about the town you are living in. Let all the world know what a good thing we have here, and our town will grow. Whenever you have a chance to CACKLE about your town and boom it don't hesitate. Remember the fa ble of the old hen that observed that every time she CACKLED some one came and took the egg away. She thought it would be much wiser for her to hide her nest and keep quiet about it, and she did till a Sunday school picnio was organized. Her owner was asked to contribute, and he said : "Well, that old hen is not laying any more, and I guess she'd do first rate for a fricassee." MORAL.' If you want to keep out of the soup pot, CACKLE. A Compromise.' A struggling art student a native of Tont Aven, went to Paris to study and occasionally visited an uncle there, an elderly shoemaker on the Hue Vaugl rard. The shoemaker was to be count ed on for a square meal and sometimes even for a small loan. One morning the uncle welcomed the student far more warmly thau was bis habit "Just in time," he said, rubbing his bands. "The kitchen door wauts paint ing, and I was about to give the Job to the cominissionnaire for 3 francs. But you can have It now. I'll pay yon $5." The student flushed and bit his lip. Hard up as be was, he could not so degrade his art as to paint a kitchen door. Yet be needed money badly. "Uncle," be said, smiling as a happy thought came to blm. "I'll tell you what to do. Let the cominissionnaire paint the door for 3 francs, as you hnd intended, and give me the 2 francs dif ference." Why Men Cooke Seldom 8moke. "Men cooks make a mistake to smoke. Men cooks that smoke have a hard time to get work." "Why so?" inquired a woman cook. "Because you don't like your cook to bend over the cooking with a cigar In his mouth. It doesn't look neat when you go down Into the kitchen to see blm finger the wet stub of a cigarette and then plunge his bands Into the puff paste. Sometimes, In fact If you bare a man cook that smokes you will find ashes on the steak. I know a cor poration lawyer who once found a ci gar end In the soup. Do you think he'd ever employ after that a ' smoking cook?' Cincinnati Enquirer. Hurt Worse Than the Flexor. The' Barber You got a nasty, deep lot of crow's feet sir. end them lines runnln' down from the corners of the mouth is something fierce. A mas sage The Patient (fiercely) You're got a hump like a camel and a chest like a doughnut, and I don't believe, with legs like those, yon could stop an elephant up an alley, let alone a cow. But hang it man, do yon want to be reminded of It every time you get a shavel-Phlladelphla Bulletin. Man Eating Liens. Of African Hons Miss Klrkland in her book on Africa writes: "As a role, It Is only old lions which attack human beings. They grow too decrepit to be able to catch the more agile antelopes, which are their lawful preyj so, goaded by a hunger which age cannot wither or lessen, they pounce on unwary mor tals." ' Respectability.. Max O-'Rell was once staying with a friend at Edinburgh.. Starting for a walk on Sunday, be took up bis walk ing stick. "Do you mind taking an umbrella?" asked bis conscientious host It looks more respectable." 1 " ' Women Indispensable, - "I'm the president of the Progressive Woman's league," said the spare fe male with stern features as she grab bed the London bus conductor the sleeve and made him register over again one of the fares he hud Just collected. "I can't help thnt, ma'am," replied the conductor In a rather short tone. "Nobody asked you to," she went on, "I'm gathering statistics, and I spent twopence Just to get on this bus to In terview you. The statement has been mnde In some newspapers, in an at tempt to prove that our sex Is lncapa ble of handling the reins of govern ment, that one woman gives more trouble In a public conveyance than a dozen men." "Well, ma'am" "Perhaps Id better put It more plainly," she said,' Interrupting him "Let me ask you as a conductor, would you find your work easier If no women at all rode in the omnibuses?" "It might be a little easier, ma'am," he replied, "but 1 don't see how In the world we would ever get along with out them." "Hold on!" she cried Joyfully. "Let me write down every word you've said. Once more, I see, we will be able to silence our enemies. Now, my good man, tell me why female passcn gers nre Indispensable." "Because, ma'am," returned thJ con ductor, "If It wnsu't for the women we could never get rid of all '.be bad money we happen to take." The Fire Worehipers. Azerbaijan, a province In northwest em Persia, Is the home of the descend' ants of the Ghebers, tbe ancient fire worshipers of Tersla. The whole coun tryslde is admirably adapted to the propagation of a fire worshiping creed, for earthquakes and caverns vomiting fumes from subterranean conflagra tions abound in the neighborhood of Tabriz. One of the most remarkable caverns In the world is that of Secun dereab, whose character resembles the Grotto del Cane of Naples. It gives off noxious fumes, which at certain times are certain death to man and beast But the most astonishing place iu 'Azerbaijan Is tbe ruined city of Takht 1-Sulelmaun, or Solomon's temple. Tbe city stands on a hill 100 feet high, with a wall of thirty feet embracing the crumbling remains of temple and shrine. In tbe midst Is a "lake of deepest azure." Although most of the buildings are of the Mohammedan pe riod, there Is one striking mass which has been identified as the temple of the fire worshipers. What Memory I One rainy day In spring nn old York shire fisherman returned to his native village after an absence of fifteen years and fearfully sought the house which sheltered his deserted wife. En tering without knocking, he seated himself nenr the open door, took a long and rigorous pull nt bis dirty clay pipe and nodded Jerkily to "t'owd woman." "Mornln", Marin," he said, with af fected unconcern. She looked up from the potatoes she was peeling and tried to ulter the scathing tirade she had dally rehearsed since his departure, but It would not come. "Ben," she snld Instead, once more resuming her work, "bring the Ben o'er to f fire an Ab'll darn that hole i' thy Jersey. Ah meant doln' t' day thn went away, but suunnat put me off!" London Answers. Customs In Publio Dining Rooms. "Have you ever noticed persons en ter a restaurant how the women Inva riably select a center table, while a man will linger or glance about lu the hope that he may find a comfortablo scat In some corner or against the wall?" said a proprietor of n fashion able restaurant "It's almost always so and Is nlwoys amusing. The wo men like to show their gowus, whllo the men well, my theory of It Is that the habit Is a relic of the cave days, when a man preferred a position against the wall so he could fight his enemies to advantage." New York Herald. Not Caused by the Hat. "How do you like my hat?" she asked. "Why, to tell the truth," replied her dearest friend frankly, "I don't like the effect very well. It seems to me it gives you a rather cross look." , "Oh, that Isn't the hat," she respond ed cheerfully. "No?" "Oh, not at all. That comes entirely from tbe fact that I bare just seen my husband and be bad Just seen the blll."-ChIcago Post ! Wordsworth's Joke. i "I nerer made a Joke but once in my life," confessed Wordsworth, and the rest of the story Ieares one In doubt whether he know a Joke when be saw It "Meeting a peasant neighbor one day, be asked me, 'Ha' ye seen my wife, Meester Wordsworth?" 'My good fellow,' said I, 'I didn't so much as know that yon had a wife.' " . ,t Truth or Fiction f Ah. what a difference there is." re marked the cvnic wearllv. "between courtship and marriage! Courtship la made up of soft nothings marriage of hard facta." -I And he broke tbe world's record for A sigh. New York Times. Mum Than Ha Baroalnad Fcr. Mrs rtpnham I am setting stouter all the time. Benham Yes; when I cot married I little realized that I was Wetting a Wife on tha Installment aim. . . " lit Is often woman who Inspires ns Jslth tbe great things that she will pre sent us from accomplishing- Alexan dre Dumjs. ' - .; THE SPANIARD. His Primitive Instincts of Hospitality and Charity. ITnvelock Ellis In his "Soul of fjpaln" has revealed Intimately and charming ly the temperament of the Spanish people. According to him, the Span lard Is still fundamentally primitive. Iu proof of bis possession of the primal Instincts of hospitality and I'bai'lty he quotes the following anec dote from an Aragonese newspaper of i few years ago, at a time when there was much distress In Aragon: A laborer out of work cnine on the highroad determined to rob the first person he met. This was a man with a wagon. The laborer bade blm halt and demanded his money. "Here Is $30, all that I hare," the detained man replied. "There Is nothing left for me but robbery. My family are dying of hun ger," the aggressor snld apologetically and proceeded to put the money lu his pocket, but as he did so his mind changed. "Take this, clilco," he said, handing back $29. "One Is enough for me." "Would you like anything I have iu the cart?" asked the wagoner, Im pressed by this generosity. "Yes," said tbe man. "Take this dollar back too. I had better have some rice and some beans." The wagoner banded over a bag of eatables and then held out $3, which, however, tbe laborer refused. "Take them for luck money," said the wagoner. "I owe you that." And only so was tbe would be rob ber persuaded to accept. THE BABY CROP. Worth More Than All Other Crops as a National Asset. When you come to think of It, there's no escaping the conclusion that the baby crop Is worth more to this good country of ours than all the corn, wheat, cotton, beef and poultry prod ucts put together worth more In dol lars and ceuts. Untimely frosts, the boll weevil, tbe wheat rust, the green aphis and all the other crop and ani mal scourges couldn't work so great a national disaster as a genuine baby famine. And it Is simply appalling to think what would happen to our national temperament if babies were abolished. Our sense of humor would instantly go glimmering, and smiles would become rarer than black hollyhocks. The edu cation of parents hi all the little arts of tenderness would go Into Instant decline, and we would speedily become a nation of ossified hearts and sour faces. Babies are the chief apostles of un selfish affection. All the world admits that. The mother who has constantly maintained an attitude of unalloyed selfishness toward all the world will go to tbe depths of self denial and sac rifice for the helpless child, and men of fiery and nutocratlc temperament become meek and plastic disciples In schools of patience and restraint where in their own babies are tho teachers and disciplinarians. Ited Book. Gloom Spread by Book Agents. "When I was n small boy living in Huntsville, Mo., an early day book agent came up from St. Lonls by steamboat and Horded our country with u harrowing volume rntltled 'Ag nes Tl;e Key to Her Collin,' Every body butight file thinif and everybody wept over It." remarked a Macon resi dent. "Us Influence descended upon tho community like n nightmare. It reeked with shrouds, funerals and graveyards. For a long while 'The Key to Agnes' Coffin' was the solo diversion of certain portions of the populace. They seemed to take n pure and chastened Joy In the awful weight of woe thnt oozed out from between Its lids, and It made them feel better. There were not many books In the country In those days, and the saga cious agent bad sized tho community's taste up about right Tho book was supposed to bo very consoling to tho distressed in that it told of worse troubles than their own." Macon Re publican. The Scent of Books. The publisher shut his eyes. "Bring me books," he said, "and by tue smell alone I'll tell what country each was published in." He did indeed distinguish In this manner a French, an English and an American book. 'English books have the best smell," be said. "French come next Our own come last. Our own smell salty. The others smell fresh and sweet Hare a try?" The skeptical clubmen In their seats, snuffing the books, were soon able In their turn to distinguish them by the odor. Exchange. Death Valley. Death valley Is a desert ralley In Inyo county, Cal., lying between the Panamlnt range on the west and the Funeral, Amargosa and . Grapevine ranges on the east Much of tbe ral ley is below sea level, and there are only a few places where ordinary drinkable water can be obtained. Tbe ralley was formerly the bed of a salt lake along the east side. An Extinguished Flame, "John, I found a look of hair among your old letters' "Well?" "I nerer gare it to you." "Don't worry. I don't remember who did." Houston Chronicle. His Mild Resistance. Magistrate Did you arrest the pris oner, McNutty 7 Officer McNutty Ol did, yer honor. Magistrate Did he of fer any resistance? Officer McNutty Only 12, yer honor. Chicago News. , -T H E- Woodwork Supply Co t If RELIANCE RUBBER ROOF- iING does not last for ten years, we Jurnish you -material for a ! iuuj niKiuHt ejcirn cost., Come examine it before buying. Also see' our pater t window screen. Cheap and convenient. Don't need to take screen out to ralHe or lower sash, but can he taken out lu a Jliry It you want. I The Woodwork Supply Co. I J " CITY. JOTICE OF BOND ISSUE. - Nntlrwi la l.n.ol.. . i .. - .., concern, that the Bourd ot Directors of tho) Bjhool District of the Horom h of West Reyn-i pldsville, County of Jefferson and State ol! Pennsylvania, will present their petition l6 the Court of Common Fleas of Jefferson county, on Monday, August 9th, 1909, praying for a decree authorizing them to borrow fll.JOO,. and Increase the Indebtedness of said School District by such an a tnouut, for the purpnse of erecting and equipping a new school house adequate to accommodate the schools to be held and maintained In, and for the use of the School District of the Horough of West Keynoldsville, by Issuing bonds, In denomi nations of One Hundred Dollars each, said bonds to bear Interest at the rat of S per cent per annum, payable semi-annually, and said bonds to be redeemed within thirty years from the date thereof, with the option and right reserved to said School District to re deem any number or amount of said bonds, on any Interest date after the expiration of ' Ave years, and also for leave to file their statement as required hy the act of Assem bly approved April !uth, 1874, and Ita supple ments. Hy order of the Board of School Director! of the School District of West Keynoldsville Borough, Jefferson county, Pennsylvania. W. P. WooimiNO, Pres. O. II. Johnston, See. ADMINISTRATRIX' NOTICE. Estate of MIohael Nugent, late of Reyc- oldsville Borough, Deceased,,, Notice Is heieby given that letters testa mentary upon the estate of the said deced ent have been granted to the undersigned. All persons Indebted to said estate are re quested to make payment , and those having claims or demands against the same will ' present them without delay to Mart Nuoent, Administrator C. T. A., Olomr nt W. Flynn, Keynoldsville. Pa, Attorney,; ADMINISTRATOR'S NOTICE. Estate of Margaret Harrington, late of Reyooldsvllle Borough, Deceased.""" Notice Is hereby given that letters of ad ministration upon the estate of the above named-decedent have been granted to the undersigned. All persons Indebted to said estate are requested to make payment, and those having claims or demands aga'nst the same will make them known without delay to Daniel Hahhinuton, Administrator, Clement W. Flynn, Pardus, Pa, Attorney. Garment Dyeing and Geanlng By James Pontefract West ReynoIdsviHe, PcnnV' Opposite P. R. B. Freight Depot. fJUGHES & FLEMING. FUNERAL DIRECTORS. Main Street. ReynoIdsviHe, Pa. WINDSOR HOTEL W. T. Druhaker, Mgr. Midway between Broad St. St ation and Reading Terminal on Filbert at. European 11.00 per day and up. American $.&0 per day and up. Theonly moderate priced hotel of rep utation and consequence In PHILADELPHIA W U r I to to O h CO w X 03 t a o I o u P. 0 to 0 ll . 3 3
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers