' T " HEAR AN ASSESSOR. HE RELATES HI9 EXPERIENCE AND GIVES A BIT OF ADVICE. lilt I'lnna and I'nverty Prolilrm A larrnt That Wm Chrap Anjr PrlM A Herna In Tpprr Trnilnm An Appeal For ConrtMf to the Amrmnr. Wlirn liy tolHtii? tlio tmth nil nvll Is pcri)otmtP(l, tlicul ft is wrong to toll the tmth. 1 pupinwo that In tlio rciumn n ninny jioiiplo nro doiiin Bixid liy tolling f :1ro1khi1h to iicrsonal ninporty hhsoss im Tlio writer In n deputy nosossor In tho west town, mid nt mwnt ho in com liilliiK n Wile that in full of million oiiil flures. Tho unities nro nil rljrlit, but tlio liinn who Kalrt "flRtirrs riin't lie" tiovor nfwosood poincitiiil rmijiorty. Thero nro iiliout CO of ns iiswsiirs, who form in a lino lit 0 a. in., tnovo np to a window In AfKOHfor Jacob M. Horn's wost town ufllco, Itiiyitmrket Thontor lnilMing, ninl nt nnr books nml blank sohnlnlr. Thoo onlfuklil covered books contain n lit t lo map of somo piir tictilnr district In tho frrent Went Kiile, Wo niovo nut. to thoso districts ami k to work. Tlio town clerk roaster our oaths to "faithfully pirform tho duties of nn nnsossor," nnd tho pooplo wo im sens do tho rest of tho nwenring. Tints isn't nil. Sometimes thoy not tho dog on tin nnd otherwiso tront tin ns tlionnli wo wore book agents. That makes tlio assessor warm, nnd then ho Interviews a neighbor regarding property that Is not accessible. And tho conseqitenco Is pooplo who "bounced" tho assessor will find n valuation placed upon their prop erty that will c.uiso them to think there Is nothing certain but dentil nnd taxes. Occasionally wo find poverty nnd n pi nno together. Tlio piano is nssossnbln, and tho poverty Isn't If yon assess the piano, yon increase tho poverty, nun there you nro. These incongruities como np, nnd ou less yon hnvo tho wisdom of a board uf equalization there is trouble Speiikiur about this lioard, I have an idea that thoy will just about donblo tho poor as sessors' figures when they get down t work. A kenn assessor can locnto every piano in his district If ho doesn't hear It, everybody else in tho neighborhood has, nnd they tell him about it I nsked a real nice looking lady the other day if she bad a piano, and sho said "No. " "Why, yes, mamma, we have," said hor little. girL Tlio mother said: "Go into the house this minute, you unughty girl. How dare you I" And then thochild know sho bad done something wrong. She had told tho truth to a nasty, moan assessor. I went into a little candy store on the same street To the woman behind the counter I stated my business. She replied: "I am a poor widow. My i God, what will I do?" Tears flowed . down her cheeks, and she sobbed as , though her heart would break. The as sessor felt so mean that he sneaked out ' Without asking her name. Even the parrots are down on assesr. ors. A Lafliu street bird told the as- . essor to go to any number of times while he was oonduoting the inquisito- : rial ceremony. "That bird speaks very plainly, " said l the writer. ' '"Just hear the dear fellow. Ho can , say just as plainly as I can. I will . soil, him for $10. There's a bargain. " . And the lady meant every word she saiC A parrot that can cuss an assessor is dirt cheap at any price. This is how they do it on Ashland . boulevard: - Scene, front stoop of a stone man- i sion. Dramatis porsonae, lady with large dinmouds in her ears. Negligee nt- . tire. Assessor with book and an official : smile. Lady We are cleaning house today, ; all topsy turvy, and yon cannot oome in. Assessor Not at all ' necessary, my door madnm, that I should go in. I have brought this book and my imagi nation along, and I can see all that is necessary. I see that this is a beantif") house, and tho eye of my imagination penetrate these walls. I see a grund pi- . ano, statuary by Throwalstere, paint ings by tlio old and now masters, tapes tries from .'India, carpets from Turkey, china from Dresden, brio-a-diroo from all parts of t the world in short, every thing that a lady of your exceptional , Judgment '-'mid use in emtollishiug .- inch a noble mansion. Lady Sir! Assessor While I can hardly venture i to place a valuation upon sadh treat . ores I will be .moderate and aay $10, 000. JLady Do it If you dare 1 Oomeiinand , see. TJie assessor went in and formd his mental picture aeorcely overdrawn, but (the final courtesy caused a slump tn the Tarnation. Hero is a bit of advice to persona who are inclined to resent the intrusiom.of an assessor. The advice does not coat a ,oent, but if you do not act upon it you may be .caused no end of trouble sad money ajso. Throw yonr door wide opes to the assessor, invite iiim in, give hirst to understand that yon are the obliged party and tjlve hint the information he seeks, and ft is 10 to 1 that yon will be treated fairly, and a point or two may be stretched in your taw. Shut him out, and he avill moke a record of the fact, and in fixing the valuation of your proper: 7 Hud nothing in yonr fa vor. If you go to the office with your schedule, the f out that yon refused ad mittance to 'he deputy it noted, and in that event yon will pay all the low de mands. West Sid Assessor in Chica go Times-Herald, Diplomatic. "Mr. Hawkins," said she, "I wish you'd docido a bet between me and Mr. Borrows. He says it is only 600 foot from here to the hotel, and I say it is I 000 foot. " '"Well," said Hawkins, "I should ay yon were both right It's about 600 of Barrow's feet and 1.000 of yours." London Tit-Pit. A GREAT BLOWHOLE. The fUhgafcw nock Formation on th An, trallan Coaat. One tho most pleasant nn well as famous touriBt resorts in Now South Wales is situated on the const some 70 miles south of Sydney. Thn center of this district is Klnma, a picturesque and thriving towu surrounded by rich agricultural country, and which has been built upon nil old igneous flow of basalt that has solidified and crystal lized into lingo columns of what is pop ularly called "blnostono. " This forma tion is soou to perfection 011 tho west Coast of Hcot land mid north of Ireland at Ht. FiiiHal's eavo and other places, and thoso who nro iiecntalntd with tho rugged npiK'iirnt'in of tlio coast in these places can form a good idea nf tho ap pearance of tlio New South Wnles coast nt this point. Kiiiinn, unlike other tour ist resorts, can bo thoroughly onjoyed in 'Cither fair or stormy weather, and thoso who visit tho town when a good gain in blowing have nil opportunity of witnessing n sight the liko of which does not exist elsewhero on our glolio. Tho famous "Blowhole" hero situated, in the middle of a rocky headland run ning ont Into tho sea, forms n truly wo -droiis sight. With pnch suonessivo breti'-. r tho ocean spray is sent shooting up into the nir sometimes ns high as from 800 to 400 foet, descending in a drench ing shower and accompanied by n rum bling no! so ns of distant thunder, which can 1h heard for many miles around. This "Blowholo" is a singular nat ural phenomenon, and consists of a per pendicular holo, nearly oireulnr, with ft diameter of about ton ynrds across, nnd has tho appearance of being the crater of nn extinct volcano. This is connected with tho ocean by a cavo nbont 100 ynrds in length, tho senward opening of which is in nil respects similar to St. Fingal's envo on tho west coast of Scotland, tho snmo perpendicular basnltio columns forming tho sido walls of each. Into this cave towering waves rush during stonny weather, nnd as tho cave oxtcntls some distanco farther into tho rock thnn the "Blowholo," on the entrance of oooh wovo this cavity becomes full of compressed air, which, when the tension becomes too great, blows tho wnter witli stupendous force up to tho perpendicu lar opening. Photographic Journal. HANDCUFFS 8TOP TALK. And Breaking- a Prisoner's Jaw Keep II I in From Running; Away. A police officer was under cross ex amination in tho police court Tho de fendant was charged with using vulgar language, battery, disturbing tho pooco, drunkenness and resisting an officer. "You put tho handcuffs on this man, didnt you?" asked the attorney for the defense, "Yes, sir." "Whydidyondothatf Was ho resist ing or attempting to escapo at that timof" "No, sir." "He was walking along quietly enough, wasn't he?" . "Yos." "Then why did you handcuff hirar" "He was using vulgar language " "But why did yoa put those things on his wrists?" "I couldn't put thorn on his mouth.' "What did ho do thenf" "He tried to run." "And what did you dor" "I broke his jaw for him." "Why did you break his Jaw?" "Well, I couldn't break his log, could I?" "Then, as X understand it, you put handcuffs on him to keep him from us ing vulgar language and broke his jaw to keep him from running?" "Yes, air; that's right; that' what I did" "Did the handcuffs stop his vulgar language?" "That's what they did " "How?" "Well, he's deaf and dumb, and he was swearing with his fingers. " "Did breaking, his Jaw stop his run ning?" "Yos,ir. When he came to he wm whcrolieoouUn'trun." Son Franolsco Post Cltlasa Train. George Francis Train cat in state in Madison Square park the other day, and as he lolled on a bench munching pea nuts a man .came along who had been drinking. There are few persons on earth who fhlnlc the sage of the square an easy inuJc for thoir shafts of wit "Kinjroasellme," asked the lurch ing chap, "wiy you are crasy?" George Frauds looked at him seri ously for a moment "Yes," he an swered; "I aun pursued by so many fools who ask questions. " "Don't sensible folks rer talk to you?" went oa the man. "Never," replied the philosopher. "You have answered your own ques tion," he went on. "If you need the in formation really, you put yourself down as a silly person. If you're act bright enough to see Che point, you are con victed of being one of the class foa men tion. In any event you're a fooL Now go home and reason it out " And the .half dozed individual sauntered away. New York World. "Tels It to tha Marine, Miss Inland (to old salt, who Is thaw ing the party over the flagship) And what ore all those soldiers on board aklD for? Bo'scn's Mate Thlmf Oh, tbim'i the marines, mum. Miss Inland Marines? And what am thoy for? Papa Inland Don't ask so many fool ish questions, Mary Ellen. Everybody knows those gentlemen are employed by the government for the sailors to tell stories to. Pearson's Weekly. from roves of Habit. Anna I wonder what makes Mr. Droop ley down in the mouth tonight? Gaybelle Force of habit, I suppose; ho's a dentist, you know, Boston Courier. PROMPTLY AN8WERED, General Bran's Cmtnnrirntn Didn't Rathe the Irishman for a Moment. One of General It .van's peculiarities Is that ho never tolls the same story to tlio same man a second time. Not long ago ho was talking about hl.t travels in the United Kingdom. "I had nlways thought," said ho, "that tho fur.mus Irish wit and ropartio woro only to lie found on tho stage or in Lover's novels, but I eamo away from Ireland with u very different idea. "I was stopping at a little country Inn, nnd a game of cards wns in prog ress. I wns invited to tako a hand, nnd as an American I r,ed Irishman I thought I ought to keep up thn reputation of tho country for sociability. I nsked whnt they woro playing, nnd they replied 'Forty-five,' Bn old time Irish game. I told them that I barely know the rules, Jmt thnt I conld play seven up, onehre or nearly any other American enrd game. But they instated on my taking a linnd, and I did so, Ono of tlio pages, who was standing nt tho book of my chair, watched my hand pretty closely, nnd tho first time I mndo a bad play he said, otto voce: 'Holy Mises, I nlver son snch a piny in mo loife. I wonder phwere tho dlvil tlio inon cum from.' I paid no attention to him, of course, and wont on with the gnnio. Tho next time I mndo a bad piny, nnd It wasn't very long, he again said, talking to him self, 'Hodnd, niver did I see a inon play the loikes of that. ' I began to bo an noyed, but still I said nothing, although a man never likes to bear it snid that ho plays a game badly, but the man wns talking to himself and monnt no harm. However, when ho broke nut tho third time I could contnin myself no longer. I turned nronnd and snid, "Look hero, my friend, nre you playing those cards, or am I?' Tho Irishman looked nt me for a moment, and then said, 'Nnythcr uv us, yonr honor, savin yonr prisiuco, sor.' "I Joined the rest of them in tho laugh, nnd said, 'Well, boys, order np; thnt puts 'om on ma ' " Cincinnati Tribune. HE KNEW JERSEY EGOS. Tha Win Printer Could Tell by Their Rlie and Hliape. Two printers lunched nt a Park row restaurant tho othor day. Ono ordered "boot nnd" and tho other two boiled eggs. When tho eggs wero placed bofore tlie ono who ordered them, he snid to his companion, "Why, those are Jersey eggs." "How do you know thoy are Jersey eggs? They might have been laid In Pennsylvania or Kentucky for oil you know. " "Well, I guess not Thoso eggs came from Jersey, and I know it. " To prove it the proprietor was called into the discussion, and when asked ho aid tho eggs were Jorsey eggs. Then the egg eater explained! "Ovor In Jorsey the farmers, or same of them at least, use a board with holes, large and small, bored in it All eggs that will go through the small holes are sent to mnrket, and those which will only go through the large holes are reserved for home consumption. " Another printer dovlsed a scheme for procuring good butter at his boarding Louse table. The landlady had two ta bles for her guests ranged ono each side of a large room. At one the women boarders and married couples sat, whilo at the other table the bachelors were plaoed. At the women's table there was always good butter, but at the other the buttor was emphatically inforior. A printer boarder suffered long and pa tiently, but nt last he rebolled. He went to the dining room just before dinner one evening and changed the butter from one table to the othor. A howl from the women's table shortly after had the desired effect The butter was of equally good qual ity at both tables thereafter. New York Journal. The t'ompaaa Plant, On tho western pralrlo is found the compass plant whoso leaves point to the north. We wish to direct you to the great health giver, Bacon's Celory King for the nerves. If you are suffer ing from dyspepsia, liver complaint and indigestion, if you are sleepless at night and uwako In the morning feeling lan guid, with coated tongue nnd sallow, haggard looks, Bacon's Celery King for tho Norves will cure you and restore you to blooming health. Trial pack' ages free. Large size 50c. at W. B Alexander, sole agent. An Odd Waier. A queer wager is the one popularly believed to have been won by Sir Wal ter Raleigh from Queen Elizabeth, on the debatable question of how much moke ia contained in a pound of to bacco. A pound of the article was weighed, burned and then weighed in ashes, and the question was hold to be latlsfactorily settled by determining the weight of the smoke as exactly that of the tobaooo before being burned, minus the ashes. The fact of the ashes having received an additional weight by com bination with the oxygen of the atmos phere was unthonght of by Elizabeth and the knight Karl's Clover Root will purify your blood, clear your complexion, regulate your bowels and make your head clear as a bell. 25c, fiOo. and tl.OO. Sold by J. C. King & Co. Every Woman Sometimes needs a reli able monthly regulating Dr. PEAL'S PENNYROYAL PILLS, Are prompt, and oaruin In remit, too aanw Ine (Dr. PmI'D ner disappoint. Wot eur M.M. iaal uxUdue Oo Clartlud. O. Vol sale at II, Alex Bloke's drug store. 1 A Itlg Murprlae, In storo for nil who try Ilnoon's Cel ery King for the Norves. Tlio general verdict of nil who hnvo used tho great, veifotnblo preparation Is that It is tho grandest remedy ever discovered for tho euro of dyspepsia, liver complaint, general debility, oto. Bacon's Celery King for tho Nerves stimulates thu dlgestivo organs, regulates tho liver and restores tho system to vigorous health 11 lid energies. Samples free. Ijirgo packages JiOe. Hold only by W. B. Alexnndor. Gentlemen: I cannot forliear from writing 11 lino In approval of your I food's Celery. I havu boon a sufferer from nervous hcudnchcs until I thought my head would burnt. Nearly every remedy I tried seemed to nggrnvnto my HiilTerlng. Two bottles of your wonder ful nu (llclno hnvo mndo my life worth living nnd the world brighter for ma. I'll ano accept thu thanks of a grateful woman. .1. Mll.MCKNT Vkhnkk, 2A8 McMillan Avenuo, Cincinnati, O. Sold by Stoke, tho druggist. Rnndaj Recreation. Mrs. Ed n ah Cheney remarks t "It has always boon my test for spending Hnn day to see how one got up on Monday morning. If 011 that morning work seems sweet and you nre ready to do it heartily nnd hnpplly, then you have spent your Sunday to some pnr pnso. I don't care whether it Is In church or out, lu the flolds or in yonr quiet home with a book in your hand, r playing and frolicking with the chll Irou. But however yon have spent Suu day tho tost of It Is that the dawn of Monday seems blessed nnd good and hopeful. " Philadelphia Ledger. T)rCTa Ttv 14 atfcQQTl TtMB AMI '.aMl 1 . t roe CSE IT WILL NOT 6UHE. An sgroMthle Taxnttve ana Rnmi Towio. Bold bjrjpniirRlsts or sent bymsll. 0otUo. sod $1.00 per rack-ago. Bnmplos free. ITA TI A T"9 Fsvortte TOOTH f 0TB MXXM tlUfortheTactbandlJreaUi.Ii&o. Hold by J. I'. King- & Co Get. an Education. Rdiiciitlcin and fortune (in linnd In linnd. Ret an eilni-iillnn nt the Central Htnlo Nor mal Hchiiol, ls-k lliiven, lu. Klrnt-eliiH ni'i'iininiiHliilloiiH mill lew rates. Plulu alii tn students. For lllimtrnted riituloKiio address IAMKH KI.DON, I'll. II., l'rliM-luil, I.ock lliiven, Pa. First National Bank OF It E YNOLDS VILLE. CKPITKL 900,000.00. . Nltrhrll, Prealdentl Neolt MrMellMiid, Vice Prea. John II. Handier, Cainlcr. Directors: C. Mitchell, Hcolt McClelland, .1. C. King, JuM iili HtriuiHH, U. R. Hrown, O. W. Fuller, J. II, Knuclivr. Dol'S a general tmnklnKtniHliicsK and solicits the accounts of merchants, professional men. farmnrN. mechanics, minora, lumlHirmun and iithcruromlHliiii tho most curoful attention to the business of all purwina. Sato Deposit Boxes for rent. First National Dank bulldlnu, Nolan block Flrc Proof Vault. ADMINISTRATOR'S NOTICE. Not leo Is hereby Riven that letters of Ad ministration on tho eHtato nf Michael ConYe, Into of UeynoldNvllle, JelTerson county, I'a., have been Minted to C. J. Kerr, of Kcynolds vllle, I'a. All persons Indebted to said estate are required to make linmedlato pay ment to the administrator, and thoso havliiK claim nimliiHt It will present them, properly probated, to htm tor suulumunt. ft. J. Kr.nii, Administrator CT. A. of M. Coffee Estate, lteynoldsvllle, I'a. Moore 6 Dickinson, THE GROCERS, (Successors to Schultze & Son) Are now prepared to satisfy the wants of everybody in the line of Fancu and Staple Groceries, Grockeru, Glass and Ghlnaware. We guarantee our prices among the lowest for a stand ard class of goods, and would much rather sell our custom ers something we know they will be pleased with than an inferior article. We Pay the highest price for farm produce, and ask all our readers to call and see us in the Schultze building, oppo site Bell's clothing Btore. Goods delivered promptly I 37 737? I J A, D, DEEMER & CO. Arnold In order to accommodate tlio our more uany we are compelled to bo on the alert for new goods constantly. Wo have succeeded in get ting Junt what you want in tho latest styles of id -Summer Call in and seo tho Swisses, Lawns, Dimities, In all figures, Zephyrs, Ginghams Sfitines plain and iigured. Do not fail to get one of Grandma's Delights. They art nice and very cheap. SHOES! They are daily arriving. With every pair of $2.00 shoes we will give one bottle of Shoe Tolish, black or tan. Do not let this offer go by. A, D. Deemer & Go. JOB WORK! -THE- Job Work Department OK The Star Office Is replete with the Latest Styles of Types. SUBSCRIBE FOB THE STB -AND GET Local, Gountu and State O Ml IN! Where? TO THE "B66 Hive" Store, WHERE L. J. Mc En tire, & Co., The Groceryman, deals in all kinds of Groceries. Canned Goods. Green Goods. Tobacco and Cigars, Flour and Feed, Baled Hay and Straw. Fresh goods always on hand. Country produce taken in exchange for goods. A share of your patronage is respectfully solicited. Very truly yours, Lawrence J. McEntlre & Co.. Th Groca-rymcn. Cl ,i T S aaaaaaa-aaaa. a. 0 M . 11 1 I 1 A I CHAMPION. I jLT Block. iinmeiiHt) trade which throng Dress Goods largest selection of Dutches, DeLorns, DucW Neat Work Done on Short Notice ALL THE- News tor S1.50 a Year. OIL TAKES THE PUCI OF bAKGEROUt GASOLINE. SOEt IN ANT IT0VE. nTTTlViro N0 t0Kf, DINT OR 0D0N. S liJXiMJl.) eiiFiMi tuim moon ns coal WAXT AGENTS on salary or commission. Sana Tor cataiogu or PrloM and Tsrmt, NATIONAL OIL BURNER CO. oa ccoAit Ave. CLEVELAND, OHIO. J. S. MORROW, DEALER IN Dry Goods, Notions, Boots, and Shoes, Fresh Groceries Flour and Feed. GOODS DELIVERED FREE. OPERA HOUSE BLOCK? Reynoldsville, Pa.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers