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THE CITIZEN, TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 2, 1913.
ENATOIt WILLIAM H. THOMPSON, tho "boy
senator" from Kansas, served a Jong tlmo as
Judgo in bis native state before assuming tbo
toga. As Kansas Is a prohibition state, thero was
frequently a great deal of troublo with what nro known
as "bootleggers" in that section, a "bootlegger," accord
ing to accepted local parlance, being a gontlcman who
carries whisky for illegal vendablo purposes around in
the leg of his boot or otherwise concealed. A great many
of these cases came beforo Judge Thompson, and be
X frequently paroled tho offender. This made for him sev
eral enemies, ono of whom told the story on the senator which Is now going
the rounds. According to this. Judge Thompson was coming out of his court
room ono day when ho bumped into a big, burly colored
man standing in a dark part of tho hall. "1 beg yo' pardln.
Jedge," said tho son of Ham, bowing profusely. "I cannot
pardon you," Thompson is reported to have replied, "but 1
will grant you a parole."
The Wilson administration cannot agree on tho subject
of beverage. As widely heralded, Secretary Bryan is a
devotee at tho shrine of the grape Juice goddoss. l'resldcnt
Wilson thinks nothing quito equal to the fragraat sun
brewed liquor found in his favorite fruit, tho orange, and
now it has become known that Secretary McAdoo is a but
termilk "fiend." Twice every day the secretary's door
tender brings a glass of fresh buttermilk to Mr. McAdoo's
private office. It is ono of his chief duties, and he is al
ways punctual, arriving promptly at 11 o'clock and at half past 4.
"Filipino" Jones Is what they call Representative William Atkinson Jones
of Virginia in the house. Tho reason is that he knows more probably about the
Filipino, by and large, and his habits, hopes and aspira
tions than any other living white man. Incidentally be Is
author of the bill granting Independence to tho Filipinos
eight years after it becomes a law. Ho has almost grown
up with the Philippine problem. Ko has served twelve con
secutive terms a longer term of continuous service than
any other member of tho house and during at least soven
of those terms ho has been on tho huso committee on In
sular affairs, having been among the members of the com
mittee when It first came into being. So it happens that
few care to cross swords with tho Virginia congressman
when questions about our. Island possessions come up. Jones
knows his Philippines, and ho can prove It Moreover, ho
has a lot of linger 4p facts concerning tho llttio brown men
that aro apt to tloor tho theorist when It comes down to cases.
W1I. II. THOMPSON.
0 American Press
WM. A. JONES.
Representative Hughes of Georgia has a town in his district, that is quite
uniquo In that there is not a single Itcpubll' m, Socialist, bull mooser or Pro
hibitionist in it The town is Danville, Gu and every time Representative
Hughes runs for office It gives him about 000 solid Democratic votes.
Woodward It. Oglesby, who is serving his llrst terra in tho house from
tho Twenty-fourth New York district used to bo a Kentuckian beforo ho bo
came acclimated to the variablo political zephyrs of the Empire State. Oglesby
Is a live wire, and his friends prophesy great things for him if his constitu
ents see fit to return him for a second term.
Uncle Sam approves of tipping. This was "shown to bo tho case a short
tlmo ago, when the comptroller of tho currency allowed an item for $1.00 for
this purpose, which had previously been rejected by other officials.
Uncle Sam has $740 that ho docs not know what to do with. Of this
fOlO.13 is in tho San Francisco mint, left by some "forty-niners," and tho bal
ance in tho army office In New York city, in tho form of silver bullion left for
exchange for One bars and never called for. William G. McAdoo, secretary
of tho treasury, asked to have tho amount converted into tho treasury fund
to save bookkeeping, as nearly all of his predecessors have done .during half
a score of years, but George E. Downey, tho comptroller, decided that it can
not bo done by law. A special act of congress will bo necessary.
1 Today's Short Story 1
I WASTED PITY I
SHE and her husband lived in tho
next flat above mine, and I pitied
her. How she could endure to
live with a man who kept such irregu
lar hours I could not imagine. I should
rather say regular hours, for ho sel
dom camo in till morning. It would
be 3 o'clock and sometimes 4 o'clock
when bo passed my floor. I would
hear a door open above, and at times
when my own door stood ajar 1 could
hear a kiss of welcome. After that
there would be moving about above,
and sometimes a ripplo of feminine
lighter, never a scolding word, es
caped from their apartments.
Often in summer, when doors and
windows were left open to admit air,
I could bear the rattle of dishes, the
drawing of n cork, tbo clink of glasses,
and knew tho couplo were having a
Surely she must have had something
of the bohenilan in her nature, and,
above all, I wanted for a wife a wo
man of that kind. I pitied those men
whoso wives must always remain at
homo and make their husbands misera
ble unless they are always at homo
too. What a Jewel a woman must bo,
who could receive her husband at all
hours of tho morning after bo bad
spent nearly tho whole night carous
ing or playing poker at his club, glvo
him a loving kiss and cook a supper
for him! And when this is kept up
night after night what must tho en
during amiability of that woman be?
Ono morning I did not hear tho hus
band como in at tho usual hour, and
tho next day a doctor's buggy drovo
up to tho front door, Tho doctor went
up to their flat no came every day
for awhllo; then a hearse stopped at
tho door, and I know that the poor
woman would not have longer to suffer
tho Irregularities of a brutal husband.
She never returned to tho flat
Some eighteen months afterward,
while at an evening party, I saw her
standing chatting with tho hostess. I
recognized her nt once. In a moment
I was sidling up to tbo hostess and re
ceived tho coveted introduction.
I refrained from tolling tho widow
that I had lived beneath her and was
awaro of how sho had been obliged to
sit up night after night waiting for
that husband. In tlmo sho consented
to become my wife.
I had put off so long telling her that
I had known of her former domestic
life that I resolved to defer doing so
till immediately after our marriage.
Indeed, I wished to mako an experi
ment Would sho endure as much
from mo as from her first husband? 1
proposed to put her to tho test On
our return from tho honeymoon I told
her that I desired,' to visit a former
bachelor chum. Sho 'assented. At 3
In tho morning I opened my frontdoor
and went upstairs. I expected to see
my wife's bod room door open and feel
her arms about my nock. What was
my disappointment to find that the
door remained closed. I opened it and
entered. My wifo was sound asleep.
I should have considered myself for
tunato not to. receive a dressing. But
I did not I was angry. I mado so
much noise purposely that Anally I
woko her up.
"Pretty late hour this," sho said, "for
tho day after tho full of tho honey
moon. Could not you mako less noise
and permit mo to sleep?"
This was too much. I told her how
I had often in tho past heard lier hus
band go home at that late hour and
how she had received him. I, who had
taken what was left of a chilled heart,
Instead of getting a kiss or a hot sup
per received only complaint Sho lis
tened to mo In some surprise and "when
I had finished said:
"You gander! My first husband was
tho editor of a morning newspaper."
NO SLIT IN FALL STYLES.
Advance models in ready to wear ap
parel for women now being shown in
tho department stores reveal some
very striking effects.
The newest1 in tho two piece garment
Is tho "combination;" tho skirt of tho
suit being either plaid, of mixed goods
or striped, while tho coat is plain, with
collar and cuffs of tho material of tho
skirt Coats are plain, with kimono
sleeves, nnd trimmed with many but
tons of cloth or metal.
Skirts for the fall are very much
draped. Many folds of drapery aro
placed in both front nnd back of the
skirt Early styles In skirts are long
and very much more narrow than any
of the skirts In some time, which is
really saying something.
But most surprising of all, search
for tbo famed slit as much as you will
in tho fall models and you will not find
it Some of the skirts havo a fold of
goods resembling a silt but it is only
there so that tho wearer may bo able
to take a step or two.
Many of the coats havo sashes of
silk with Jet buckles. Purple In all
shades will be the raging color of
fashion, whllo terra cotta, blue and all
shades of brick color will play a part
in Damo Fashion's life this fall.
APPETITE LAGGING? BE A J
Post impressionistic food is tho
To show that you are thor
oughly informed In futurist art
you should enter a restaurant
nonchalantly if you can this hot
weather and deliver yourself of
an order like this:
"Bring mo crystallized rose
leaves and cream cheese."
Or, "Bo so kind as to bring me
an order of lamb chops perfumed
Other really cubist orders aro:
Fried chicken perfumed with
Pigs' tongues and pineapple
Clams and lemon marmalade.
Baked tripe and chafed orange
Fillet 'Of mutton with shrimp
Hashed brown potatoes, pome
Spinach with Roquefort cheese
Currant Jelly and chopped
green pepper tarts.
Vanilla flavored coffee.
Cremo yvette and anisette.
Broiled mackerel and cranber
THE kitchen may bo mado as attractive as uny other room in tho house
For the summer it Is particularly pleasing If finished in light tones like
tho ono illustrated. Tho wldo casement window fitted with leaded
panes has n deep sill which accommodates pots of growing herbs con
venient for use in flavoring. Underneath tbo window Is n fitted cabinet in
which may bo tucked away those kitchen utensils that detract from the sightli
ness of the room. A little table on which pastry may be rolled out has a glass
KITCHEN IN WHITE ENAMEL.
or marble top. Tho kitchen cabinet with Its place for everything. Is a kitchen
convenience that is appreciated by tho orderly cook. The floor should bo cov
ered with a good linoleum, whllo nbovo tho wainscoting the walls may bo
neatly enameled or covered with tiled paper, so that .from tlmo to tlmo they
may bo wiped off with a damp cloth and thus kept spotlessly clean. Plenty of
fresh air and a good light which depend on the window arrangements, aro
essentials of the model kitchen,
Homcl.v, old fashioned face washes
aro now being used by the fashionable
women of England in preference to tho
expensive preparations of "beauty ex
perts," according to an article printed
U It is asserted that many women take
with them wherever they go big Jars
of thymo and elder waters and that
others aro using distilled water with
out any other Ingredient
Tho "slmplo" method of beauty cul
ture Includes tbo use of tbo following:
Distilled water, elder and thymo wa
ters for tho face; lemons for bleaching
tho skin; buttermilk, both for a wash
and to drink; cucumber Juice for tho
complexion; nettle, dandelion and colts
foot beers to drink as being good for
tho skin and lanolin nnd cocoa butter
Instead of more complicated "face
Ono "beuuty' expert" who sacrificing
tho profit from the sale of high priced
nostrums, advocates the uso of the
slmplo washes used by tho great
grandmothers of tho beauties of today,
Bald: "Buttermilk Is most excellent for
both exterior and Interior treatment,
but It is somewhat difficult to obtain.
Usually only very largo farms now
mako their own buttor.
"I believe, too. In nettle beer and
mako my own In summer time. All
women can take tho precaution of
never washing the face in places like
London In water that has not first
been boiled. This is tho cheapest form
of beauty culture."
Another admission, was mado by a
well known hairdresser, who said that
tho simplest and most efficacious hair
tonic was vasollno nibbed Into the
WHAT THE JOLLY
FELLOWS ARE SAYING
"Miss Janet is a long time coming
down," he said to the pretty parlor
maid. "Perhaps sho is ha, ha per
haps she is making up her mind
whether to see mo or not"
Tho maid smiled coldly.
"No," she said, "it is not her mind
sho Is making up."
Can You Explain This?
Four men met at the club one even
ing and sat down .to play for money.
Separate scores were kept by each
player. When they ceased playing and
came to square accounts they found
that each of the four was' several dol
lars richer than when ho sat down.
None of them had lost.
Not Ready Yet
In a storm nt sea the chaplain asked
one of the crow If ho thought there
was any danger.
"Oh, yes," replied tho sailor. "If it
blows as hard us It docs now we shall
all bo in heaven beforo 12 o'clock to
night." Tho chaplain, terrified at tho expres
sion, cried out, "The Lord forbid."
How Did She Know It?
Mrs. Brown Mrs. Jones has tho
Mr. Brown What is it dear?
Mrs. Brown She turns around nnd
looks back every time we pass on tho
An Old Favorite
By Thomas Moore
OAItRANMORB, loved Arranmore.
How ,oft I dream of theo!
And of thoso days when by thy
I wandered young nnd free.
iFull many a path I've tried slnoo then
Through pleasure's flowory maze.
But no'er could find tho bliss again
I felt In thoso swoet days.
IIow blithe upon tho breezy cliffs
At sunny morn I've stood,
iWlth heart as bounding as tho skiffs
I That danced along the flood!
lOr when tho western wavo grow bright
With daylight's parting wing,
Havo sought that Eden in Its light.
Which dreaming poets sing!
That Eden where th' Immortal brave
Dwell In n land serene.
rWhose bowers beyond tho shining wave
At sunset oft are seen.
Ah, dream, too full of saddening truth!
Thoso mansions o'er the main
(Are liko the hopes I built In youth
As sunny and as vain!
Bright greens, lemon yellow
and a curious but very rich tone
of rose nro fashionable and are
being used In one toned effects.
Although navy blue is not a
bright color, it is much worn, be
cause it Is so harmonious with
all the brilliant shades. A new
walking frock Is mado of navy
bluo crape, trimmed with ma
hogany satin, nppliqucd with
A lovely gown made of soft
white satin has a wide crushed
belt of white printed with roses
of a rich hue.
A bright shade of golden
brown especially in crepe de
chine, crepe meteor and canton
crape Is well liked for the out
of door costume.
White dresses trimmed with
fancy silks printed In gay colors
will solve a problom for many
women who realize that they
cannot array themselves in cos
tumes of many colors.
ME f: nILDUENS T ORNE
I nicrisha could never loae,
I fit followed n?rtb school each cfayl
An Odd Bird.
There Is a bird that has neither tall
nor wings. It Is allied to 1 tho ostrich
and emu and is known to tho natives
of Now Zealand, where it is found, as
the klwl-klwL Its scientific name Is
tho apteryx. It Is easily alarmed and
for this reason Inhabits regions cov
ered with extensive nnd thick beds of
fern, in which It quickly hides when
Tho nptoryx has a very long and
slender bill, of which It makes a re
markable uso in supporting Itself when
It rests. The natives pursue it for its
skin, which is very tough and flcxlblo
and much prized by tho chiefs for the
manufacture of their state cloaks or
What is tho difference between a b(
ana ma snauowr u.no ooy can see 11
Why Is a ship tho most pollto thin
in tho world? Because sho always ai
vances with a bow.
What is the difference between a bo
outsiuo or a tneater anu ono wuii
Tho price of admission.
Tho Water Way.
I'm zackly four years and a half,
En a mos' obedient boy.
I like to jump erroun' en lauch
En filj tho house with joy;
But though I love to clap en sing.
It's no ue how I rr,
I never can get anything
Until I start to cry!