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THE CITIZEN, FRIDAY, Jt'LY 22, 1010.
rDBUSllEI) EVERY WEDNESDAY AND FRIDAY BY
THE CITIZEN 1'Unl.lPilINO COMPANY.
Entered ns seoonil-class mntter, Bt the post
office. Honesdale. l'n.
H. B.IIARDENBERGH. - - PRESIDENT
W. W. WOOD. MANAGER AND SECY
HILL1ARD BRUCE EDITOR
C. II. DORFLINOKR. M. B. ALLEN.
HKNRY WIL80N. E. P. HARDESBEEGH.
W. W. WOOD.
Fill DAY, .JUIiY 22, 11)10.
JOHN K. TENER.
For Lieutenant Governor
JOHN M. REYNOLDS.
Secretary of Internal Affairs
CHAS. F. WRIGHT.
C. C. PRATT.
For State Senator,
WINFRED D. LEWIS.
H. C. JACKSON.
If big bass were half ns numerous
as stories about them, the state fish
hatcheries could be abandoned.
Is this a particular personal shot
at a bold bass fisherman from South
Main street who makes It a point
never to annex to his hook any bas3
from Williams pond that will tip the
beam at less than seven pounds,
avoirdupois, not drugstore weight?
Four possioie canaiaates for gov
ernor of New York answer to the
name of William. Where there's
a Will there's a way. Scranton
But whoever the Republican con
vention nominates for the'10,000-and-a-house
job in Albany WILL be
elected, whether the Democrats are
willing or not. Just bet a dollar
against a doughnut on that!
When the editor of the Independ
ent says "postmasters of the large
towns and cities are supposed to
carry the voters therein in their pock
ets and deliver them over to .the con
gressmen seeking a re-election" and
then goes on to observe "this doubt
less accounts for the recent increase
Jn high class postmasters' salaries;
it is one method of congressional
electioneering and the people thus
help to foot the congressman's cam
paign expense bill," it is quite ob
vious that the large man in the linen
suit is belching forth either igno
rance of the postofflce department
or malicious wind. The receipts of
a postofflce determine the salary of,
the postmaster. When the receipts
of the office go up the pay of the
head of the office, very properly and
-naturally, goes up. When the re
ceipts tumble, the pay of the head
of the office goes down. Uncle Sam
knows how to grade the wages of
the men that look after the govern
ment mail matter, even though local
penpushers hate like sin to give him
credit for that much sound business
BATHING IN THE DYBERRY.
The nude bathing in the Dyberry
ought to be stopped. Scores of boys
and young men too, for that mat
ter go into the water tightless and
trunkless. Too many young girls
and young women make a regular
practice on hot days of strolling out
that way to see the young fellows
disporting themselves, skintight, ou
the banks and In the water.
There is no decency, let alone de
corum or dignity, in the boy or man
who will Indulge his love for a July
or August swim in that disgusting
manner. There is no grain of
womanly sentiment in the petticoat
pilgrims who will linger within close
eyeshot of such uncivilized revelries
for half an hour or even a full hour
by the clock. Yet the conditions
complained about have all summer
been a common occurrence.
Respectable people no longer llko
to go up the Dyberry of a hot af
ternoon in summer. Can you blame
them? The beautiful walks and
groves on the west side of the stream
ought not to bo closed to decent
folks on account of the graceless per
formances of a lot of louts who think
their manly forms are an addition
to tho already satisfactory landscape,
not to mention tho supplementary
antics of certain women who doubt
less wish to bo considered ladles.
But actual ladies will not sanction
such lascivious performances any
more- than bona fide gentlemen will
go into the water without tho for
mality of 15 cents' worth of cotton
cloth to cover their nakedness.
Tho Duke will not bo tho bride
groom when tho daughter of Sena
tor STEVE ELKINS and grand
daughter of HENRY GASSOWAY
DAVIS is married at her father's
stono mansion in the West Virginia
mountains, but he will bo a guest.
Now we believe those wildcat stories
about little ABRUZZI shinning up the
Himnlaya mountains in India nnd
starting out in an Italian ship to
find COOK'S and PEARY'S pole.
He's got nervo enough to go any
THAT HOARD OF TRADE.
The Honesdale business men are
taking to the Greater Honesdale
Board of Trade. They realize that
a strong, progressive, practical
boosting organization has been
needed In the capital of Wnyno
county. Any body that will ade
quately advertise the town's advan
tages and exert time and Intelligent
effort in the task of bringing new
industries to Honesdale they are
bound to support generously.
The public meeting on July 29,
when the alms and projects of the
Board are to receive more detailed
explanation than they have thus far
been able to secure through the em
ployment of newspaper space, merits
and beyond question will receive a
sizeable attendance of citizens inter
ested in the busiuess advancement of
Honesdale. Every man who wants
this town and Its contributary terri
tory to grow should make no other
date for that night. He! should go
to the meeting In town hall to hear
the subject discussed and, If he sees
fit, present his own Ideas and sug
gestions for consideration.
In organization there is strength;
and the Greater Honesdale Board of
Trade will increase the business and
commercial activity of Honesdale
and the town's Immediate vicinity
just so far as the business men eli
gible to Join it unite to produce a
strong organization, There can be
no doubt at all about that.
TEACH CHILDREN TO SWIM.
"Every boy and girl ought to know
how to swim," said Mns. ELLA
FLAGG YOUNG, superintendent of
public schools, Chicago, and every
boy and girl attending the public
schools will "soon be compelled to
learn to swim, just as he or she Is
taught to read and write in the reg
ular grammar course.
"Every teacher ought to know how
to swim, and the first step in accom
plishing this fact wlll.be the 'intro
duction into our teachers' training
course at the NormaL school of a
course In swimming. Instructions
in the proper way to swim can be
given in the classroom, but actual
practice will have quicker results
and will remove whatever terror it
may have for the more timid ones."
There were men yes, and women
interested in the laudable job of
teaching the young American idea
how to shoot who thought, back
along, that the Chicago school
board were in blunder when they
made a woman the practical working
head of tho Windy City's school
system. The board were ridiculed
and the petticoat superintendent tho
board had appointed was criticized,:
calumniated and cartooned. Mrs.
YOUNG'S appointment was viewed,
in Chicago and outside of It, as a Job
on a par with the same board's
sponsorship of Dr. KLOPSDORF, the
author of the notorious "Venus act"
under which all women who were
not "up to the average size and well
developed" were to be cast out of tho
Chicago schools as physically If not
mentally unfit to drum mathematics
and grammar into the cranlums of
Chicago's conspicuously cosmopoli
tan schoolroom population.
Mrs. YOUNG has redeemed tho
reputation of the Chicago school
board for safety and sanity two
qualifications for tho selection of
teachers that all such bodies should
possess in carload quantities. She
has gone further than Dr. MAX
WELL, tho $12,000 superintendent
New York employs, over thought
of going. In Chicago, one of the
greatest waterfront cities of tho
world, sho has declared that boys
and girls who cannot handle them
selves In tho water with skill and
safety aro not boys and girls suffi
ciently educated, that teachers not
competent to Instrikt their classes
in this essential branch of aquatics
aro not fit to hold certificates as
Tho criticism and even ridlculo of
Chicago's woman school superin
tendent had better read tho hand
writing on tho wall and get under
cover. Mrs. ELLA FLAGG YOUNG
has the high-salaried men superin
tendents of some other rich and pop-
ulous cities skinned to a frazzle thus
early in the game of Twentieth cen
tury educational extension. What
she hos said hundreds of men high
up in the art of bossing city schools
ought to have said years ago, before
Mrs. ELLA FLAGO YOUNG was out
of dolls and pinafores. The full
grown man in Rome 2000 years ago
who could not caro for himself In
the water was held up to public con
tumely nnd contempt ns "a man
unfit for the honors and emoluments
of his countrymen." In 1910 the
boy or girl at school who does not
know how to swim, not for heedless
sport but when bodily security de
mands it, Is to be made nn object
of attention on the part of someone
qualified to teach the youngster the
ways of tho wnter; nnd the teachers
In the public schools, employed to
train the brains of their pupils, are
the persons who should likewise bo
obliged to Instruct them as to the
necessity of being able to handle
themselves with confidence if sudden
ly thrown overboard in deep water.
This lovely country county in tho
hills will get her share of the city
cynic's coin before this summer
The fool that rocks the boat is on
the Job, blank blank him; but wait
for the fool that rocks the aero
plane. He's coming!
Don't laugh at Oklahoma for hav
ing two capitals. Look away from
Oklahoma to the nation. Consider
Beverly and Oyster Bay!
How many bills are up for popu
lar constitution? Well, there are
four Bills willing to be governor of
York state, if that's what you've driv
Who says the Returned African
Hunter has no dignity? Think, just
think, of the money he could mako
only by a penstroke if he'd sign up
with the moving picture fellows!
The report that Col. Jim Guffey Is
monetarily busted is not likely to
wring anything more than crocodile
tears from a pair of luminous black
orbs that glow from a $20,000 man
sion on a farm away out in Nebras
ka. The wet and dry fight comes into
the Indiana senatorshlp this year of
grace 1910. . And, just by a coinci
dence, one of the men who wants to
go to Washington again from the
banks of the Wabash is a man nam
Gov. Hughes has been househunt
ing in Washington with Herbert
Parsons to help him. Now one of
the best men the Empire state ever
had in Albany knows $17,500 Is a
wee, small sum in the City of Extor
tionate Prices as well as the City of
If all the words of praise Mr. Pot
ter gets for having those unfaithful
road bosses in Bradford county pull
ed were gold dollars, or plain paper
dollars, or even William J. Bryan
silver dollars, God only knows the
plucky driver of the government
mall would never be burled in his
It cost Mr. Senator Grim $4G5 to
be nominated. What will it cost
him to be defeated? Why, ho need
not part company with one solitary
copper if he feels uncompelled to
the separation. Thousands of great
and good Pennsylvanians will bo
glad to help the Bucks county gen
tleman for nothing.
Once more the Billy Sulzer boom
for tho Democratic gubernatorial
nomination in New York is oiled
and slides down the ways. It ought
to bo moderately easy for any half
way decent man on the other ticket
to lick the Tammany congressman
whoso long suit is his ability to go
to tho district leader's picnic once
a year and clear nine feet In tho
standing broad Jump.
Quit talking about what tho gov
ernor of South Carolina (Ansel) said
to tho governor of North Carolina
(Bobby Glenn) over tho banquet
board In Washington, That famous
nag of 1907 Is now stale, flat, un
profitable. Talk about what the gov
ernor of Nevada said to Tex Rick
ard and concludo that tho sage
brush plans of Nevada are 5,280
feet lower in tho moral scalo than
Newbor battlefield, tho rlco swamps
of Beaufort and tho "old dram tree"
on Capo Fear river. Tho ovldenco
of a single sentence is sufficient.
Ollio James, tho hot-headed young
Kontucklan who admires Col. Bryan
and even thinks ho may yet live on
Pennsylvania avenuo in Washington,
has a simply splendid unconcern for
figures when they lnvolvo somebody
elso's mflney. Tho Democrats, ho
says, could run tho government on
$500,000 a year, not on $1,000,000,
000, tho way he says tho Republi
cans proposo to continuo to run It.
Well, suppose thoy can run it on
$50. Suppose they can run It on
$5, Supposo they can run it on flvo
cents. What" difference does that
make in tho long run, tho way Con
gressional elections turn out now
The Keystone Press
Was tho nftalr at Reno what
Tennyson had In mind when ho
wrote of "the last great battlo in the
West?" York Gazette.
The good old summer time Is a
good old humbug so far as comfort
Is concerned. Unlontown Herald.
In Unlontown, yes; but not in Joyful
Johnstown, the brightest star in tho
galaxy of Pennsylvania cities the
summer resort of pure delight.
"It is always well to have your
photograph taken before becoming n
hero," says Philosopher E. Tracy
Sweet In tho Scranton Trlbune-Re-
publlcnn. That's tantamount to say
ing that the fellow who is going to
get married should first visit the
photographer. Allentown Demo
crat. Teddy, tho Terrible, Is for the
present tariff. Teddy, the Terrible,
is against the present tariff. Teddy,
tho Terrible,- is for tho "regulars."
Toddy, the Terrible, Is against tho
"regulars" and is favorable to tho
Insurgents. Teddy, tho Terrible, is
out of politics. Teddy, tho Terrible,
Is in politics up to his neck. You
pays your money and takes your
choice. Johnstown Democrat.
The curfew bell has been put into
service at Trenton nnd found very ef
fective. Each night at 9 o'clock the
bell tolls the curfew from the belt
fry of St. Stanislaus' Catholic church
and tho children of the parish cease
their play and run home to their
parents. The mothers of tho neigh
borhood aro delighted with what
Father Block, the pastor, has done
for them, and many mothers besides
those of the membership of St. Stan
islaus' parish have availed them
selves of the call. From observa
tion it would be well If the curfew
would toll in other sections than in
St. Stanislaus parish. The number
of children on the streets late at
night indicates that some action
should be taken in many Bucks
county towns. Doylestown Intelli
gencer. Mavor Gavnor of New York, an
swering a communication from New
York clergymen urging him to pro
hibit the exhibition of prizefight pic
tures, called their attention to the
fact that, while he sympathized with
the general protest against the pro
posed exhibition, he was compelled
to take the law as it is, which did
not warrant him in taking the ac
tion they requested. "The growing
use of arbitrary power in this coun
try by those put in office," adds
Mayor Gaynor, "would be far more
dangerous, and Is far more to be
dreaded, than certain other vices
that we all wish to minimize or be
rid of. People little know what they
are doing when they try to encour
aee officials to resort to arbitrary
power." The idea that personal gov
ernment should be substituted for a
government of laws has attained al
together too great a vogue in this
country in recent years. Mayor Gay-
nor's letter may call public atten
tion to the peril involved in what
is seemingly a popular course, and
in doing so will have served a great
popular service. Lancaster New
I RIGHT OFF THE BAT,
That sign I put up "We have four
banks in Honesdale; I'm not a bank"
is helping me a good deal, I find,
and I'm glad I thought to put It up.
Charles J. Weaver.
I am a great lover of the game of
dominoes and at a recent sitting
with one of my old friends who's
a crank on the pastime I won nine
games out of a possible eight. Let's
see If they get that In the paper!
Millard F. Dorln.
I see by tho paper that Sam
Brown says he beat John Weaver
and I fishing up in Susquehanna the
other day. I'm glad to know about
it. I did not fish, and I do not
remember that either Sam or John
did any fishing on that trip tho
three of us took to Towanda. John
The camp was all right and I have
the finest company in tho Thirteenth.
I feel positive of that. To bo sure,
I had to work pretty hard tho wholo
nine days, but that Is something no
good soldier should kick about. You
see, I had all tho clerical work to do.
There is no company clerk in E ex
cept a part of the time, and that
mant a good bit to do. Not all
captains pitch in and keep their own
records. Then, on top of all thnt,
all tho officers wore tramped threo
miles every day after manoeuvres
nnd that got all hands tired enough
to sleep soundly. Tho trip homo
took about a dozen hours and along
toward tho end of it tho rldo must
havo been tedious to tho men, for
thoy travel in tho regular coaches
whilo tho officers havo a Pullman.
Capt. C. J. Kelloy, Co. E.
"It Bceras cruel to slaughtor all
thoso pigs for market," said tho Chi
cago girl. "I don't know that It's
cruol," replied Miss Cayenne. "But
when you think of what tho packers
charge for tho meat, it does seem a
little unfraternal." Washington
(Light on Subject Cheerfully Ac
J The Honesdalo Citizen, usually
I alert, Is not well informal no tn
Johnstown affairs, as witness the fol
lowing: WilHaniBport, tired of a mayor and
councllmen and city committees and
nil the like of thnt, Is seriously
thinking of trying out the commis
sion form of government thnt Galves
ton and Des Moines have found In
some ways deslrnble. Now will
Warren Worth Bailey of the "Joy
ful Johnstown" Democrat bo frank
for once In his references to a rival
city and admit there's some civic
class to Billtown?
Yes; it must be admitted that
there is some class to the Willlams
port -Board of Trade, which favors
the Des Moines nnd not the Galveston
form of commission government.
But the Honesdale Citizen must bear
In mind that Johnstown Is the first
city In the state of Pennsylvania to
proposo government by commission.
In this respect it leads Wllllams
port, but for all that we trust that
Johnstown Is quite willing to accept
the suggestion of Wllllamsport that
a general meeting bo held in that
city soon to discuss the ndvlsabillty
of seeking legislation on the subject.
I NEWSPAPER HUMOR.
"How would you like to be Amer
ica's poet laureate?" "I couldn't
afford the honor. I am already poet
laureate of a prosperous bean pack
ery." Brooklyn Citizen.
"My goods speak for themselves."
"What are you selling?" "Grapho
phones." Louisville Courier-Journal.
Howard "Bridget, did my wife
come in a few minutes ago?" Brid
get "No, sir. That's the' parrot
you hear rf-hollerln." Harper's
"Father," queried Bob, Just home
from college, "you've worked for me
pretty hard nearly all my life,
"Quite right, quite right, son,"
mused father retrospectively.
"Just so," resumed Bob briskly.
"Now you had better get busy and
work for yourself a bit eh, dad?"
LETTERS FROM THE PEOPLE.
About Birds and Cats.
Editor of The Citizen:
Honesdale's feathered songsters
are being preyed upon by numerous
stray cats, which, being deprived of
sustenance from the friendly family
larder, are preserving their nine
lives by feeding upon robins and
other birds that come In their way.
Unless our citizens wish to adopt
these starved, homeless wanderers,
we would suggest that the Ladies' Im
provement association or the Society
for the Prevention of Cruelty to Ani
mals might take the matter in hand
and end their existence, the former
to protect the birds that nest and
sing in our trees, the latter out of
kindness to these members of the
Let's Have Board of Trade.
Editor of The Citizen:
The town of Hallstead having
been dealt a severe blow by the re
moval of the Lackawanna trainmen
to the Hampton yards, the Board of
Trade of that place recently held an
enthusiastic meeting, the end in view
being to boom Hallstead. A big
meeting has been planned for the
near future, at which several promi
nent men, including some Lacka
wanna officials, members of tho
Scranton Board of Trade and others,
are expected to be present. A Board
of Trade Is all right. Let us see
what one can do for Honesdale.
Don't Let Cows Ronui Alone.
Editor of The Citizen:
May it please you to accord space
to the suggestion that cows should
not be allowed to wander in tho
streets of Honesdale or the roads of
Texas unattended? Tho plea for a
guardianship of their property would
be made to the owners of the cows
direct if we had a law in force pro
viding that these domestic animals
must have plainly visiblo numbered
tags affixed to them, similar to the
ones carried by automobiles and
dogs, tho registered numbers making
tho Identification of the owners pos
sible Such a law would bo just
State of Ohio, City of Toledo,
Lucas County, SS.:
Frank J. Cheney makes oath that
ho is senior partner of the firm of
F. L. Chenoy & Co., doing business
In tho City of Toledo, County and
Stnto aforesaid, and that said flrrr
will pay tho sum of ONE HUNDRED
DOLLARS for each and every case p
Catarrh that cannot bo cured by the
use of Hall's Catarrh Cure.
FRANK J. CHENEY.
Sworn to before mo and subscrib
ed In my presonco, this Cth day of
December, A. D. 188G.
(Seal) A. W. GLEASON.
Hall's Catarrh Curo Is takon in
ternally, and acts directly on tho
blood and mucous surfaces of tho
system. Send for testimonials free.
F. J. CHENEY & CO.,
Sold by all Druggists, 75c.
Take Hall's Family Pills for constipation.
and proper, and the promise of hav
ing it enacted would make a splendid
platform for a political party, assur
ing the election of its candidates for
office by large majorities. Meantime,
let us hope these lines will be read
by those whom they concern.
Tho rensons for having cows guid
ed on their way to tho pasture aro
many, but only a few can bo men
tioned here. It may inlluenco tho
quality of the milk If tho makers of
it gorge themselves with hollyhocks
goldenglow, nasturtiums, sweetwll
llams nnd bachelor's buttons In tho
front yards along tho road. It is
certainly bad for the flowers named.
Tho wearing of white shoes has.
ceased to be n fnd, still, many would
wenr them because they are cool and
comfortable If walking in a cowpath
were not so destructive to their
beauty. Several influential citizens
hnve also been noticed to wear whlto
trousers. Suppose one should slip!
It Is best to stop this line of reason
ing right now. Of course, having
the cows driven would not do away
with all the dangers alluded to, but
it would make their presence less
lingering. It may be mentioned,
also, that children are often afraid
I Three Wayne-Scrnnton Farmers Who
j Aro Doing Well.
' Three of tho most Drosnorons far
mers of Wayne county are prominent
residents of Scranton, says a writer
in the Scranton Times. Messrs. John
Simpson and John Cleland are har
vesting dollars out of their broad
acres by intensive cultivation of tho
soil and conducting tho Globe Ware
house for diversion and recreation.
Mr. John .M. Burke is raising huge
crops according to the most approv
ed methods of agricultural science,
marketing them and buying govern
ment bonds with the proceeds, while
for relaxation he builds railroads
and drives tunnels.
The three distinguished farmers
met the other day and, as usual,
started a discussion as to the pros
pect of their crops. Mr. Burke was
first to speak out enthusiastically
as to his magnificent crop of corn.
It was six feet two Inches high and
"That's" nothing," said Mr. Cle
land. "My rye stands six feet three
and it hasn't reached its full growth
"I can beat you both," said Mr.
Simpson. "The rye in my fields
stands seven feet three inches and
you can see it grow day by day."
As convincing proof of the truth
of his statement, Mr. Simpson pro
duced a stalk of the rye that meas
ured seven feet tfcree and looked
like a young sapling. The superior
look that Mr. Simpson has worn
within the past few days may be
attributed to his proved pre-eminence
as an agriculturist.
Bnrnum Knew His Business!
In print the other day an old-time
friend of Phineas T. Barnum ex
pressed a doubt as to whether the
great showman ever said that "the
American people love to be hum
bugged." Barnum himself did not
deny the phrase, says the New York
World. Nothing in this declaration
is inconsistent with a career which
opened in 1835 with the exhibition
of "one of the greatest natural curi
osities ever witnessed, viz., Joice
Heath, a negress, 161 years old, who
formerly belonged to the father of
Certainly Barnum knew his crowd
and knew tho value of advertising.
Born at Bethel, Conn., a hundred
years ago, ho was not less
plucky than shrewd. Losing for
tunes In succession by failure and
fire, he never lacked courage for a
fresh start. And he settled with his
This generation may laugh at the
old stories of the Barnum woolly
horse, the Japanese mermaid and the
white elephant. It must remember,
however, that tho same promoter
who brought out these freaks gave
America also its chance to hear
Jenny Lind. Tom Thumb, too, was
a Barnum find, with profit to the
finder. Such humbuggery as was his
Barnum exploited frankly and to the
whole world. It is significant that
nineteen years after his death his
name still Is one to conjuro with in
the field of tho tented show. Edi
torial In Altoona Mirror.
Over Six Years
Read what Mr. Hoffman, landlord
of the Webster Hotel, writes:
"I suffered misery and Intense
pains from stomach troublo for over
six years, and all tho doctoring that
I did or medicines I used were of no
avail until about two years ago,
when I used a treatment of Ml-o-na.
Tho first few days' treatmont helped
mo greatly and upon using It a while
I was made entirely freo from any
stomach troublo or complaint what
ever. Since the cure by Mi-o-na I
havo regained my weight, I eat and
sleep well, am never nervous, and
my entlro genral halth is much bet
ter." Max M. Hoffman, Webster,
N. Y., Aug. 2, 1909.
Ml-o-na stomach tablets relieve
distress in flvo minutes. Thoy net
llko magic. They aro guaranteed
to curo sour stomach, gas eructa
tions, heartburn, dizziness, bilious
ness and nervousness, or money
back. For sale by druggists every
where and by G. W. Pell for 50
cents a largo bor.
Try Booth's Pills for constipation;
they never disappoint, 25c.