(The 31'irth Stanch Dcimmal. HJLRVEY BlOElilDß,,Proprietor.] NEW SERIES, AweeklyDemocratic _ paper, devoted to Poli S-| oi, News, the Arti rk 1 1 and Sciences Ac. Pub- • * iihed every Wednes- : - pay, at Tunkhannock ? §dW&U Wyoming County, Pa f\ / 1 Tuttf ly jj BY HARVEY SICKLER Terms—l copy 1 year, (in advance) 52.00 not paid within six months, $2.50 will be charged NO paper will he DISCONTINUFD, until all ar rearages are paid; unless at the option of publisher. ADVJDRTISIKTG. 10 lines or . 1 5 j t less, make three'four \ two -three' six | one one square mo'thmo , th motlvytar 1 Square 1,00 ',2*j 2,25; 2,9? 3.00< 5.10 2 do. 2.00 2.501 3.25: 3.50. 4 5G| 6.00 3 do. 3.00 ■iTo: 4.75; 5.50 70U P.-0 1 Column. 4,00; 4 70. f .',O 8.00 10,00 1 ".1 0 | do. J 6.00' 9!0,00> 12.00 17,00'"..'5.00 i do. I 8 00; 7. u,OO 18,00 2*.0( 1 do. 110.00; li, V >2.00,28,00. 40,00 EXECUTORS, ADMLVISTH Al'Uka and AUDI TOR'S NO'I ICES, of the u ual length, S : '0 15BTTCARIES,-ex eeding ten lin- s, each ; RKLI GIOUS and LITERARY NOTH LS not ot genera interest, one half tne regular rates. Business Cards o f ne -qu ir- with paper. S5 J033 WORK of all kinds neatly executed, ai d at to suit the times. All TRANSIENT ADVERTFEMEN i'S and JOB - WORK irust be paid for, when ordered. iittsiiiifss fjntirg. HS. COOPER, PfTY^I'TAN & SURGEON • Newton Centre. Lucerne County Pa. R,R. LITTLE, ATTORNEY AT I.AW Otfioc on Tioga street, Tunkhannock Pa. GEO s. I'MTIO. A' TO NEY AT LAW Tunkheniioek, Pa. Oln-.t- u Stark's Brir eck, Ttoga street' WM. M. PIATT, AT ORNEY AT LAW, O fice in Stara's Brick Block Tioga St., Turk bannock. Pa Ut Bufhlrr DOUSE, O < {-J * HARKISKIHG, PLN'NA. The undersigned having lately pur, based the " BUEHLER HOUSE " property , has already com menced such alterations and improven ei ts as will render this old and popular House rqutil, if not supe rior, to any Hotel in the City of Harrisburg. A continuance of the public patronage is refpect fully solicited. GEO. J. BOLTON WALL'S HOTEL, LATE AMERICAN HOUSE, TUNKHANNOCK., WYOMING CO., PA. THIS establishment has recently been refitted an furnished in the latest style Every attention will be given to the comfort and convenience of those wee patronize the House. T. B WALL, Owner and Proprietor , Tunkhannock, September 11, 186.1. NORTH BRANCH HOTEL, MF.SHOPPEN, WYOMING COUNTY, PA Wm. H. CORTRIGHT, Prop'r HAVING resumed the proprietorship of the above Hotel, the undersigned will spare no e'fort to Vender the house an agreeable place oi sojourn for til who may favor it with their custom. Wm. II COKTUIGHT. Juno, 3rd, 1863 UK. J. C. BKCTKR.II 7 " PHYSICIAN & SURGEON, Would respectfully announce to the citirensofWy ming, that he has located at Tunkhannock where he will promptly attend to all calls in the line of hie profession. Will bo found at home on Saturdays of each week IRaits §Mtl, TOWANRA, RA. D- B. BARTLET, .(Lute of the BIRAINARP ELMIRA, N. Y. PROPRIETOR. The MEANS HOTEL, i-one of the LARGEST end BEST ARRANGED Houses in the country—lt le fltted up in <hc m< t modern and mfproved style, and no pains are spa-.- i to make it a pleasant and agreeable stopping-place for all, v 3. 021, ly CLARKE, KEENF/.& fC^ MAJI L VAC I CAT A., ASH 'H U L,I.IALB I LALCB3 IN LADIES', MISSES' & GENTS' silfcaiii)Cassiuu'i'f Datg AND JOBBERS IV HATS. CAPS, FDRS, STRAW GOODS -PARASOLS AND I'NKRt 1.1,A5, BUFFALO AND FANCY ROBES, 340 BnOAEWAY, CORNER OF LEONARD STREET, WMW ¥ f. CLARK, V A C KEENKV, C a. LCBEHBY. 3 M. GILMANT DENTIST. MI4ILMAN, has peruiHia n lv located in Tunk _ bannock Beruiigh, and res- ctfully tendertda fieCea<ional services t<: the citirens of this place h n unwinding country. PACTfON ORK WAKRANTKI> - TO GIVE SATIS- a Q^°® ce oT ° f Tuttun'i Law Office, near the Po tee. ItVI ©Billet. From the Scranlon Register. WORLD(LY) CONCLUSIONS. BT STELLA OF LACKAWANNA. The world is a nettling world at best, And will chafe you sooner or later : In fact 'tis rough as a chestnut-burr, Or a rasping nutmeg giater : Especially if you happen to be Endowed with a sympathy human, For the frailties of sinful brother man— Or worse—of an erring woman. The world is a pleasant spot enough, If you only choose to take it And its stupid mummeries with a smile : Tis the best that you can make it : Never a need to mope aod mourn O'er it follies, and its troubles : Weep if you will with the chdd.of ill, But laugh at its air-blown bubbles. The world is a carnal one, alas, With a vulgar taste for quarrels ; And the biggest dog in the fight i s best, Whatever its code of morals : Where the gold-god kisses his finger-tips lothe foois in life's grand revel ; And virtue parleys, then leads the dance With the world, the flesh and the devil. A cheating old world, as all men know Would they condescend to own it, And truth so rare 'mong the pearls they wear That knavery scarce may loan it For an hour or so, to play the saint At an Aldermanic dinner, Though conscience peer from a dainty roast, To threaten tbo famished sinner. A frolicking,frolicking world all 'round To the butterflies of fashion, Whose lives at best, are a soulless jest Too cold for the piny of pa sion ; And.nil too careless to note the sweep 01 humanity's wreck-strewn river, Where souls go down to a shore unknown With a plunge, and a deathful shiver. Do wh it wc will,'tis a bungling world. And the less we plan the better ; As well stand still on the tread-mill,, wheel, And accept our fate to the letter : We may struggle and strive and t-:g and toil lor a throne or a daily ration And ten to one, when it all is done, 'Tis a huge miscalculation. 'Tis often said that the world's a stage, And we are the wretched players : We act our part with an aching heart, And bow our best at the brayers : And behind the scenes ttiere crouch the ghosts Of a thousand desolations, Though, gallerv.pit an l dome resound With tumultuous acclamations. A wearying, worrying, hurrying world, Where tha wisest loose their senses : And the whole when weighed but a masquerade, Of the shallowest pretenses r But a comfortable world, at last If we only rightly view it, And though we abuse it with might and main. Most insanely we pursue It. BILL ARP ADDRESSES ARTEMUS WARD, ROME, Ga., Sept. 1, 1865. Mr. Artemus Ward, Showman, Sur:— The resun I write to you in partickler, are bekaus you are about alllhe man I know in all "God's country," so {.ailed. Far sum several weeks I liav been wantia tu say sumtbin. For sum several years we rebs, so called , but now late of said country de ceased, hav been try 111 mity hard to do sumthin. We didn't quite do it, and now t's very painful, I assure you, to dry up all of a --uilden and make out like we wasn't thar. My friend, I want to say sumthin. I aupprae there is no law agin thinkin, but ibinkin don't help me. I don't let down my thermometor. I must explode myself generally so as to feel better. You see I'M tryin to harmonize. I'm tryir. to soften clown my feelings, I'm endeavorin to subju gate myself to the level of surroundin cir cumstances, so called. But I can't do it until I am allowed to say somethin. I want to quarrel with somebody and then make friends. I ain't no giant killer. I ain't no Norwegian bar. I ain't boar con strikter : but I'll be hornswaggled if the talkin and the writin and the slanderin has got to be all done on one sida any longer.— Sum of your folks has got to dry up or turn our folks loose. It's a blame outrage, so called. Ain't your editors got nothin else to do but to peck at us, and squib at us, and crow at us ? Is every man what kan write a paragraf to consider us as bars in a cage, and be always a jobbin at us to hear us growl ? Now you see, my friend,that's what's disharmonious, and do you just tell cm, one and all, e pluribus unura, so-called, that if they don't stop it at once, or turn us loose to say what we please, why we rcbs, so-called, have unanimously and jointly and reverely resolved—to—to—to—think very hard of it—if not harder. That's the way to talk it. I ain't agwine to commit myself. I know when "TO SPEAK HIS THOUGHTS IS EVERY FREEMAN'S RlGHT."—Thomas Jefferson. TUNKHANNOCK, PA., WEDNESDAY, DEC. 13, 1865. to put on the brakes. I aint agwine to say all I think, like Mr. Etheridge, or Mr. Adderig no called* Nary time. No, sir But I'll jest tell you,Artemus, and yon may tell it to your show : If we aint allowed to express our sentiments, we take it out in ha tin ; and hatin runs heavy in my family sure. I hated a man so bad once that all the hair cum off my head, and the man drowned himself in a hog-waller that night, I kould do it agin, but you see I'm tryin to harmonize, to acquiesce, to bekum kalm and screern. , Now, I suppose that, poetrka'ly speak in, 1 In Dixie's fall We sinned all." But talkin the way I see it, a big feller and a little feller, so called, got into a fite, and they fout and fout and fouta long time and every body all around kept hollerin hands off, but kept helpin the big feller, until finally the little feller caved in and hollered enuf. lie made a bully flte, I tell you, Selah. Well, what did the big feller do ? Tcke him by the hand and help him up' and brush the dirt off his clethes ? Nary time ! No, sur ! But he kicked him arter he was down, and throw ed mud on him, and dragged him about and . ''bed sand in his eyes, and now he's gwine about huntin up bis poor little prop erty. Wants to confiskate it so called— Blame ray jacket if it aint enuf to make your head swim. But I'm a good Union man— no-called. I aint agwine to fite no more. I slian' vote for the next war. I ain't a gorilla.— I've done tuk the oath, and I'm gwine to keep but as f.r ray bfcin subjugated, and bumilyated, aud amalgamated, and enerva ted, as Mrs. Chase says, it ain't so—nary time. I aint ashamed of nuthin neither— ain't repentin—ain't asking for no one horse, short-winded pardon. Nobody need'nt be playin priest around me. I ain't got no twenty thousand dollars.— Wish I had ; I'd give it to these poor wid ers and orfins, I'd fatten my own numer ous and interesting offspring in about two minits and a half. Theyshould'nt eat roots and drink brarch water no longer. Poor, unfortunate things ! to cum into this sub loonary world at sicli a time. There's four or five of'em that never saw a siikus or a monkey show—never had a pocket knife, nor a piece of cheese, nor a resin. There is Bull Run Arp, and Harper's Ferry Arp, and Chickahominy Arp, that never seed the picters in a spelling book, j tell you my friend, we are the poorest people on the face of the earth—but we are poor and proud. We made a bully fite, Selah ! and the whole Amerikin nation ought to feel proud of it. It shows what Amerikins can do when they think they are imposed on —"so-called ." Didn't onr four fathers fit" bleed aud die about a little tax on tea, who not one in a thousand drunk it? Bekaus they sukseeded, wasent it glorious ? But if they hadent, I suppose it would be trea - son, and they would have been bowin and scrapie round King George for pardon. So it goes, Artemus, and to my mind, if the whole thing was stewed down, it would make about a half a pint ofhumbng. We had good men, great men, Christian men, who thought we was right, and many ol 'era have gone to the undiskovercd coun try, aud have got a pardon as is a pardon. When I die, I'm mity willin to risk my self under the shadow of thair wings, whether the climate be hot or cold. So mote it be. Selah ! Well, maybe I've said enuf. But 1 don't feel easy yit. Iv'e had my breeches died blue, and I've got a blue bucket' and I very often feel blue and about twice in while I go to the doggery and git blue and when I look up at the blue sernlean heavens and sing the raelancholly choryus of the Blue- tailed fly. I'm doing my dn andest to haimonize, and think I could succeed if it wasn't tor somethings. When I see a Mack-guard going arourd Ihc stieets with a gun on his shoulder, why right then, for a few minutes I hate the whole Yankv nation The institution what was handed down to us by the heav enly kingdom of Massachusetts now put over us with power, and ball. Har monize tho devl! Ain't we human beings? Am't we got eyes and ears and feebu'and thinkin"? Why the whole of Afriky has come to town, woman and chil dran, and babies and baboons and all. A man can tell how fur it is to the city by the smell better than the mile post. They won't work for us and they wont work for themselves, and they'll perish to death this winter as shor as the devil is a hog so called. They are now baskin' in the sum , mar's sun, living on roasting, ears and free ' dom with nary idee that winter will come agin, or that castoroil and salts cost money. Sum of 'em' a hundred years old, are whin in' around about going to cawlcge. The truth is, my friend, sum body's badly fool ed about this biztiess. Sumbody has draw ed the elefatii! in the lottery, and don't know what to do with him. He's just throwin' his snout about loose, and by and by he'll hurt sumbody; These niggers will have to go back to the plantations and work. I ain't going to support nary one of'era, and when you hear anybody ay so, you can tell 'em "it's a lie" so called. I golly, I ain't got nothing to wpport my self on. We fout ourselves out of every thing exceptin' children and land, and I suppose the lands are to be turned over to the niggers for grave-yards. Weil, my friend, I don't want much. I aint ambitious, as I used to wnz. You all have got your shows, and munkeys,and sirkusscs, and brass bands and orgiris, and can play 011 the petrolyum and the harp of a thousand strings, and so on, but I've only got one favor to ax of you, I want enuff powdej to kill a yaller stump-tail dog, that prowls round my premises at night. Pon honor, I wont shoot at any thing blue or black or mulattci. Will you send it ? Are vou and your foaks, so skeered of me and my foaks, that you wont let us livae eny arnumsluin ? Are the squirrels and crows and black rakoons to eat up our poor little corn patches! Are the wild turkeys to gobble all around us with im punity ? If a mad dog takes the hiderfoby, is the while community to run itself to death to get out of the way? I golly !it looks like your pupal had all tuk the reb elfoby fur good, aod was never gwine to git over it. See here, my friend, you must send me a little powder and a ticket to your show, and me and you will harmonize sertin! With these few remark# I think I feel better, and hope j haint made nobody Fitin mad, for I'm uot on that line at this time. lam trooly your friend—<all present or accounted for, BILL ARP, SO-CALLED P.S. —Old man Harris wanted tobuy my fiddle the other day with Confedrik m<si ey. He said it would be good agin. He snys that Jim Fundcrbunk told him that Warren's Jack seed a man who had jest enm from Virginny, and that he sed that a man by the name of Mack C, Million is coming over with a million of men. But nevertheless, notwithstanding, somehow ov some-how else, I'm dubus about the money. If you was me Artemus, would you make the fiddle trade? Miss FAWCET, the English actress, was one evening dressing for a part, when a boy attached to the theatre knocked at the door. "Please, Miss, there's a woman at the back who says she wants two orders to see the play." "What is her name? Go and ask her. 1 promised no orders." "I did ask her name, but she said it was no telling it, because you didn't know her." "Not know her, and she expects orders! Has the wo man her facultes about her?" "I think she have ma,am, for I see her have a bundle tied up in a pocket handkerchief under her arm." A SINGULAR CASE. —About fifty-five years ago, a young lady and gentleman formed an association as young people often Jo, and it was supposed by the friends that it would terminate in matrimony. But for some reason it was dissolved and they separated. The young man subsequently married and lost three wives—the last one within the last eight or nine months. The young lady married, and lived with her husband over fifty-three years, and raised a numerous family.—During the last year her husband died- The lady remained a widow about eleven months, when ber for mer suitor made an advance to her—he be ing about 75 year old, and the lady 71— and they were finally married. The par ties are living in the vicinity of Lynn P. O* Susquehanna County, Pa., and the gentle man gave his consent to the publication of notice— Montrose Rep. ■ - ——-——• A CONVEIENT CUSTOM. —The author of "Wanderings inßrettany" gave the follow ing illustration of thoughtful care for the wants of manageable young men :—'"The peasantry around Jesselin retain their old dresses and customs in perfection; the girls especially, have a habit that would save much trouble were it introduced into more civilized circles. They appear on fete days in red under-petticoats, with white or yellow borders around them ; the num ber of these denote the portion the father, is willing to give his danghter; each white band means gold, and stands for a thousand francs per year. Thus a young* farmer who sews a face that pleases him, has only to glance at the trimmings of the petticoat ts learn io an iustaut what amount of reut • ceampanies it," t tehms, aß.oo peh a-tntinttS m CAUSES OF SUICIDE, As long as education, manners, mora Is and social intercourse continue as they now are—as long as crimes, murders, and sui cides are seductively detailed and daily f urnisbed to the public, through a thous and channels, for the purpose of private gain—as long as the perpetrators of crimes and of homicides are held out, both on the stage and from the .press, as heroes of their day—as long as the overflow of moral aud religious principles, and the infection or contamination of the public mind, are made of objects of gainful speculation, into which persons in place or authority are not considered dishonored by entering—as long as the streams of moral pollution are allowed to flow without either strenuous,or well-directed, or combined efforts to con fine or to contract them—as long as the instant and efficient agents of self-destruc tion are sold in every street, at little or no price, and to any purchaser—as long as the struggles of great part ies in politics and religion absorb, in connection with the details of every vice and every crime, the public mind, each party endeavoring to depress and ruin the others, without re gard to the general weal—as long as pro vison for the pecuniary wants of the state, and the power an 1 patronage of office, constitute the chief objects of governments, as long as justice is within the reach only of the wealthy, as long as laws protect chiefly the bad, as long as the weak are unshielded,and the deserving unrewarded, as long as —The whips and scorns of time, The oppressor's wrong, tho proud mvn's cortume iy. The pangs of despisallore, the law's delay, The insolence of office, and the spurns That patient merit of the unw rthy takes, shall continue to' puzzle the will"—,as long as the lives of all classes are endangered,, and their minds distracted, by unprincipled and ignorant pretenders to medical and re ligious kuowledge, who are allowed, and encouraged, to take advantage of the cred. nlity and fears of the weak minded—as long, in short, as moral degradation phys ical destitution, exist, and as long as the safe:y of the people is not the supreme la w of the state ; —as long as these several con" ditions of a country continue, and in pro portion to their separate and combined in fluence —so long will suicides be frequent or even iucreased. AGE OF THE PYRAMIDS OF EGYPT. Mahmud Bey, astronomer to the Viceroy of Egypt,has published an interesting treat ise, with the view of proving their dates from their connection with Sirius, the Dog Star. The late Viceroy, Said Pasha, or dered him to work out his problem; He found the exact measurment of the largest to be 231 metres to the base, and 146,40 from the ground to the apex. Hence it follows that the sides are at an angle of 51 deg. 45 sec. Mahmud Pasha found that the angles of the other three pyramids, near Memphis, were on an average inclination of 52 deg. Ihe fact that the sides of these monuments are placed exactly true to the four quarters of the globe, seemed to point to some connection with the stars,and Mah mud Bey found Sirius sends his rays nearly vertically upon the south side, when pass ing the meridian Ghizcb' He then found, on calculating back, the exact position the stars occupied in past ceuturies—that the rays of Sirius were exactly vertical to the south side of the Great Pyramid, 33oo B.C. Sirius was dedicated to the god Sothis, or Toth Anubus : and hence the astronomer pronounces that the pyramids were built about 3300 B. C., a date nearly coinciding with Bunseh's calculation, which fixes the reign of Cheops at thirty four centuries be fore Christ. COMMON CRIERS. It is surprising (says a recent writer)how infectious tears are at a wedding. First of all the bride cries, because she's going to be married ; and then, of course, the bridemaids cry, perhaps, because thev are not; and the fond mamma cries, because she'll 1-1-1-lose her d d-darling; and then the fond papa cries, because he thinks its proper ; and then all tho ladies cry,because ladies, as a rule, will never miss a chance of crying; and then, perhaps, the grooms men cry, to keep the ladies company ; and then the old pew cpener cries, to show what deep pecuniary interest he takes in the proceedings; and then, perhaps, the publio cries, the public being, of course, composed exclusively of petticoats.—But, notwithstanding all these Niobes, who make quite a Niagara of eyewater aronnd them, we own we never yet have seen the bridegroom cry, and should about as soon •xpect to boar ths beadlo whimper. VOL. 5 NO. 19 SUB ROSA. The term "under the rose," as implying secrecy had its origin during the year B.C. 477, at which time Pausanias, the com mander of the Confederate fleet was en gaged in an intrigue with Xerxes for the marriage of his daughter and the subjuga tion of Greece to the Median rule* Their negotiations were carried on in a building attached to the temple of Minerva; called the Brazen House, the roof of which was a garden forming a bower of roses so that the plot, which was conducted with the ut most secrecy, was literally matured under the rose. It was discovered, however, by a slave, and, as the sanctity of the place for bade the Atheians to foice Pausanias out, or kill him there, they finally walled him in and left him to die of starvation. It fi nally grew to be a custom among the Athe ians to wear roses in their hair whenever they wished to communicate to another se cret which they wished to be kept inviolate. Hence the saying, sub rosa , among hem, and now among almost all Christian nations THE GREAT RULE OF CONDUCT. The rule of conduct followed by Lord Erskine—a man of sterling independenc® of principle and scrupulous adherence to truth—are worthy of being engraven on every young man's heart. "It was a first command and counsel of my earliest youth," he said always do what my conscience told me to do, ray duty, and to leave the conse quence to God, 1 shall carry with me the memory, and, 1 trust, the practice, of this parental lessen, to the grave. I have hith erto followed it, and I have no reason to complain that my obedience to it has been a temporal sacrifice. I have found it on the contrary, the road to prosperity and wealth, and I shall point out the same path to my children for their pursuit. Aad tlreir can be no doubt, after all, that the only safe rule of conduct is to follow implicity tho guidance of an enlightened conscience. WORDS. Beware of impure words. Filthy conver sation it is a fruitful means of corruption. It is a channel by which the impurity of one heart may be communicated to another. — And we know who hath said. <t Ev;l com munications corrupt good manners." Words are an index of the state of the heart Hence says Christ, "By thy words thalt thou be condemned: nnrt fr:ii ..uiuiuat men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment." There are those whose conversation is filthy aud disgusting. Parents should guard their children from such. They should them selves avoid every indelicate expression, and check the first appearance of anv such thing in their children. Avoid foolish say ings and jesting. Children let your words be pure. EAT YOUR BROWN BREAD FIRST. It is a plain but faithful saying, "Eat your brown bread first," nor is there a bet ter rule for a young man's outset in the world.—While you continue single, you may live within as narrow limits as vou please; aud it is then you must begin to save, in order to provide for the more en larged expenses of your future family. Be sides, a plain frugal life is then supported most cheerfully : it is your own choice and it is justified on the best and most honest principles in the world, and you have no body's pride to struggle with, or appetite to master, but your own. Asyou advance in life ar.d success, it would be expected you should give yourself greatet indulgence,and you may then be allowed to do it both rea sonably and safely. Pkrfection.—A French preacher was once descantiug from the pulpit with great eloquence on the beauties of creation, "whatever," said he, "comes from the hands of Nature is complete; She forms everything perfect." One of the congre gation, very much deformed, and having • o a very large hump, went up to him at the close of the discourse, and asked, "What think ye of me, holy father ? am I perfeot ?" To which the preacher replied, very cool ey : "Yes, for a hump-backed man, quite perfect ?" A LUCID EXPLANATION. —An English " .man travelling in the south of Ireland, over took a peasant travelling the same way. "who lives in that house on the hill, Pat ?" said the traveller. "One Mr. Cassidy, sir," replied Pat: "but he's dead,rest his soul!" "How long has he been dead?" asked the gentleman. "Well, your, honor, if he'd lived till next mouth, he'd be dead just twelve months " "Of what did he die ?*' "Troth, air, W died of a Tueaday."
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