North Branch democrat. (Tunkhannock, Pa.) 1854-1867, December 13, 1865, Image 1

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    (The 31'irth Stanch Dcimmal.
HJLRVEY BlOElilDß,,Proprietor.]
AweeklyDemocratic _
paper, devoted to Poli S-|
oi, News, the Arti rk 1 1
and Sciences Ac. Pub- • *
iihed every Wednes- : -
pay, at Tunkhannock ? §dW&U
Wyoming County, Pa f\ / 1 Tuttf ly jj
Terms—l copy 1 year, (in advance) 52.00
not paid within six months, $2.50 will be charged
NO paper will he DISCONTINUFD, until all ar
rearages are paid; unless at the option of publisher.
10 lines or . 1 5 j t
less, make three'four \ two -three' six | one
one square mo'thmo , th motlvytar
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TOR'S NO'I ICES, of the u ual length, S : '0
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GIOUS and LITERARY NOTH LS not ot genera
interest, one half tne regular rates.
Business Cards o f ne -qu ir- with paper. S5
of all kinds neatly executed, ai d at to suit
the times.
WORK irust be paid for, when ordered.
iittsiiiifss fjntirg.
• Newton Centre. Lucerne County Pa.
Otfioc on Tioga street, Tunkhannock Pa.
Tunkheniioek, Pa. Oln-.t- u Stark's Brir
eck, Ttoga street'
fice in Stara's Brick Block Tioga St., Turk
bannock. Pa
Ut Bufhlrr DOUSE,
O < {-J *
The undersigned having lately pur, based the
" BUEHLER HOUSE " property , has already com
menced such alterations and improven ei ts as will
render this old and popular House rqutil, if not supe
rior, to any Hotel in the City of Harrisburg.
A continuance of the public patronage is refpect
fully solicited.
THIS establishment has recently been refitted an
furnished in the latest style Every attention
will be given to the comfort and convenience of those
wee patronize the House.
T. B WALL, Owner and Proprietor ,
Tunkhannock, September 11, 186.1.
Wm. H. CORTRIGHT, Prop'r
HAVING resumed the proprietorship of the above
Hotel, the undersigned will spare no e'fort to
Vender the house an agreeable place oi sojourn for
til who may favor it with their custom.
Juno, 3rd, 1863
Would respectfully announce to the citirensofWy
ming, that he has located at Tunkhannock where
he will promptly attend to all calls in the line of
hie profession.
Will bo found at home on Saturdays of
each week
IRaits §Mtl,
.(Lute of the BIRAINARP ELMIRA, N. Y.
The MEANS HOTEL, i-one of the LARGEST
end BEST ARRANGED Houses in the country—lt
le fltted up in <hc m< t modern and mfproved style,
and no pains are spa-.- i to make it a pleasant and
agreeable stopping-place for all,
v 3. 021, ly
silfcaiii)Cassiuu'i'f Datg
MI4ILMAN, has peruiHia n lv located in Tunk
_ bannock Beruiigh, and res- ctfully tendertda
fieCea<ional services t<: the citirens of this place h n
unwinding country.
a Q^°® ce oT ° f Tuttun'i Law Office, near the Po
tee. ItVI
From the Scranlon Register.
The world is a nettling world at best,
And will chafe you sooner or later :
In fact 'tis rough as a chestnut-burr,
Or a rasping nutmeg giater :
Especially if you happen to be
Endowed with a sympathy human,
For the frailties of sinful brother man—
Or worse—of an erring woman.
The world is a pleasant spot enough,
If you only choose to take it
And its stupid mummeries with a smile :
Tis the best that you can make it :
Never a need to mope aod mourn
O'er it follies, and its troubles :
Weep if you will with the chdd.of ill,
But laugh at its air-blown bubbles.
The world is a carnal one, alas,
With a vulgar taste for quarrels ;
And the biggest dog in the fight i s best,
Whatever its code of morals :
Where the gold-god kisses his finger-tips
lothe foois in life's grand revel ;
And virtue parleys, then leads the dance
With the world, the flesh and the devil.
A cheating old world, as all men know
Would they condescend to own it,
And truth so rare 'mong the pearls they wear
That knavery scarce may loan it
For an hour or so, to play the saint
At an Aldermanic dinner,
Though conscience peer from a dainty roast,
To threaten tbo famished sinner.
A frolicking,frolicking world all 'round
To the butterflies of fashion,
Whose lives at best, are a soulless jest
Too cold for the piny of pa sion ;
And.nil too careless to note the sweep
01 humanity's wreck-strewn river,
Where souls go down to a shore unknown
With a plunge, and a deathful shiver.
Do wh it wc will,'tis a bungling world.
And the less we plan the better ;
As well stand still on the tread-mill,, wheel,
And accept our fate to the letter :
We may struggle and strive and t-:g and toil
lor a throne or a daily ration
And ten to one, when it all is done,
'Tis a huge miscalculation.
'Tis often said that the world's a stage,
And we are the wretched players :
We act our part with an aching heart,
And bow our best at the brayers :
And behind the scenes ttiere crouch the ghosts
Of a thousand desolations,
Though, gallerv.pit an l dome resound
With tumultuous acclamations.
A wearying, worrying, hurrying world,
Where tha wisest loose their senses :
And the whole when weighed but a masquerade,
Of the shallowest pretenses r
But a comfortable world, at last
If we only rightly view it,
And though we abuse it with might and main.
Most insanely we pursue It.
ROME, Ga., Sept. 1, 1865.
Mr. Artemus Ward, Showman, Sur:—
The resun I write to you in partickler, are
bekaus you are about alllhe man I know in
all "God's country," so {.ailed. Far sum
several weeks I liav been wantia tu say
sumtbin. For sum several years we rebs,
so called , but now late of said country de
ceased, hav been try 111 mity hard to do
sumthin. We didn't quite do it, and now
t's very painful, I assure you, to dry up all
of a --uilden and make out like we wasn't
My friend, I want to say sumthin. I
aupprae there is no law agin thinkin, but
ibinkin don't help me. I don't let down
my thermometor. I must explode myself
generally so as to feel better. You see
I'M tryin to harmonize. I'm tryir. to soften
clown my feelings, I'm endeavorin to subju
gate myself to the level of surroundin cir
cumstances, so called. But I can't do it
until I am allowed to say somethin. I
want to quarrel with somebody and then
make friends. I ain't no giant killer. I
ain't no Norwegian bar. I ain't boar con
strikter : but I'll be hornswaggled if the
talkin and the writin and the slanderin has
got to be all done on one sida any longer.—
Sum of your folks has got to dry up or turn
our folks loose. It's a blame outrage, so
called. Ain't your editors got nothin else
to do but to peck at us, and squib at us,
and crow at us ? Is every man what kan
write a paragraf to consider us as bars in a
cage, and be always a jobbin at us to hear
us growl ? Now you see, my friend,that's
what's disharmonious, and do you just tell
cm, one and all, e pluribus unura, so-called,
that if they don't stop it at once, or turn us
loose to say what we please, why we rcbs,
so-called, have unanimously and jointly
and reverely resolved—to—to—to—think
very hard of it—if not harder.
That's the way to talk it. I ain't
agwine to commit myself. I know when
to put on the brakes. I aint agwine to
say all I think, like Mr. Etheridge, or Mr.
Adderig no called* Nary time. No, sir
But I'll jest tell you,Artemus, and yon may
tell it to your show : If we aint allowed to
express our sentiments, we take it out in
ha tin ; and hatin runs heavy in my family
sure. I hated a man so bad once that all
the hair cum off my head, and the man
drowned himself in a hog-waller that night,
I kould do it agin, but you see I'm tryin to
harmonize, to acquiesce, to bekum kalm
and screern. ,
Now, I suppose that, poetrka'ly speak
1 In Dixie's fall
We sinned all."
But talkin the way I see it, a big feller
and a little feller, so called, got into a fite,
and they fout and fout and fouta long time
and every body all around kept hollerin
hands off, but kept helpin the big feller,
until finally the little feller caved in and
hollered enuf. lie made a bully flte, I
tell you, Selah. Well, what did the big
feller do ? Tcke him by the hand and
help him up' and brush the dirt off his
clethes ? Nary time ! No, sur ! But he
kicked him arter he was down, and throw
ed mud on him, and dragged him about
and . ''bed sand in his eyes, and now he's
gwine about huntin up bis poor little prop
erty. Wants to confiskate it so called—
Blame ray jacket if it aint enuf to make
your head swim.
But I'm a good Union man— no-called.
I aint agwine to fite no more. I slian'
vote for the next war. I ain't a gorilla.—
I've done tuk the oath, and I'm gwine to
keep but as f.r ray bfcin subjugated, and
bumilyated, aud amalgamated, and enerva
ted, as Mrs. Chase says, it ain't so—nary
time. I aint ashamed of nuthin neither—
ain't repentin—ain't asking for no one
horse, short-winded pardon. Nobody
need'nt be playin priest around me. I
ain't got no twenty thousand dollars.—
Wish I had ; I'd give it to these poor wid
ers and orfins, I'd fatten my own numer
ous and interesting offspring in about two
minits and a half. Theyshould'nt eat roots
and drink brarch water no longer. Poor,
unfortunate things ! to cum into this sub
loonary world at sicli a time. There's four
or five of'em that never saw a siikus or a
monkey show—never had a pocket knife,
nor a piece of cheese, nor a resin. There
is Bull Run Arp, and Harper's Ferry Arp,
and Chickahominy Arp, that never seed
the picters in a spelling book, j tell you
my friend, we are the poorest people on
the face of the earth—but we are poor and
proud. We made a bully fite, Selah ! and
the whole Amerikin nation ought to feel
proud of it. It shows what Amerikins can
do when they think they are imposed on
—"so-called ." Didn't onr four fathers fit"
bleed aud die about a little tax on tea, who
not one in a thousand drunk it? Bekaus
they sukseeded, wasent it glorious ? But
if they hadent, I suppose it would be trea -
son, and they would have been bowin and
scrapie round King George for pardon.
So it goes, Artemus, and to my mind, if
the whole thing was stewed down, it
would make about a half a pint ofhumbng.
We had good men, great men, Christian
men, who thought we was right, and many
ol 'era have gone to the undiskovercd coun
try, aud have got a pardon as is a pardon.
When I die, I'm mity willin to risk my
self under the shadow of thair wings,
whether the climate be hot or cold. So
mote it be. Selah !
Well, maybe I've said enuf. But 1
don't feel easy yit. Iv'e had my breeches
died blue, and I've got a blue bucket' and
I very often feel blue and about twice in
while I go to the doggery and git blue
and when I look up at the blue sernlean
heavens and sing the raelancholly choryus
of the Blue- tailed fly. I'm doing my dn
andest to haimonize, and think I could
succeed if it wasn't tor somethings. When
I see a Mack-guard going arourd Ihc
stieets with a gun on his shoulder, why
right then, for a few minutes I hate the
whole Yankv nation The institution
what was handed down to us by the heav
enly kingdom of Massachusetts now put
over us with power, and ball. Har
monize tho devl! Ain't we human
beings? Am't we got eyes and ears and
feebu'and thinkin"? Why the whole of
Afriky has come to town, woman and chil
dran, and babies and baboons and all. A
man can tell how fur it is to the city by
the smell better than the mile post. They
won't work for us and they wont work for
themselves, and they'll perish to death
this winter as shor as the devil is a hog so
called. They are now baskin' in the sum
, mar's sun, living on roasting, ears and free
' dom with nary idee that winter will come
agin, or that castoroil and salts cost money.
Sum of 'em' a hundred years old, are whin
in' around about going to cawlcge. The
truth is, my friend, sum body's badly fool
ed about this biztiess. Sumbody has draw
ed the elefatii! in the lottery, and don't
know what to do with him. He's just
throwin' his snout about loose, and by and
by he'll hurt sumbody; These niggers
will have to go back to the plantations and
work. I ain't going to support nary one
of'era, and when you hear anybody ay
so, you can tell 'em "it's a lie" so called.
I golly, I ain't got nothing to wpport my
self on. We fout ourselves out of every
thing exceptin' children and land, and I
suppose the lands are to be turned over to
the niggers for grave-yards.
Weil, my friend, I don't want much. I
aint ambitious, as I used to wnz. You
all have got your shows, and munkeys,and
sirkusscs, and brass bands and orgiris, and
can play 011 the petrolyum and the harp of
a thousand strings, and so on, but I've only
got one favor to ax of you, I want enuff
powdej to kill a yaller stump-tail dog,
that prowls round my premises at night.
Pon honor, I wont shoot at any thing blue
or black or mulattci. Will you send it ?
Are vou and your foaks, so skeered of me
and my foaks, that you wont let us livae
eny arnumsluin ? Are the squirrels and
crows and black rakoons to eat up our
poor little corn patches! Are the wild
turkeys to gobble all around us with im
punity ? If a mad dog takes the hiderfoby,
is the while community to run itself to
death to get out of the way? I golly !it
looks like your pupal had all tuk the reb
elfoby fur good, aod was never gwine to
git over it. See here, my friend, you must
send me a little powder and a ticket to
your show, and me and you will harmonize
With these few remark# I think I feel
better, and hope j haint made nobody
Fitin mad, for I'm uot on that line at this
time. lam trooly your friend—<all present
or accounted for,
P.S. —Old man Harris wanted tobuy my
fiddle the other day with Confedrik m<si
ey. He said it would be good agin. He
snys that Jim Fundcrbunk told him that
Warren's Jack seed a man who had jest
enm from Virginny, and that he sed that a
man by the name of Mack C, Million is
coming over with a million of men. But
nevertheless, notwithstanding, somehow ov
some-how else, I'm dubus about the money.
If you was me Artemus, would you make
the fiddle trade?
Miss FAWCET, the English actress, was
one evening dressing for a part, when a boy
attached to the theatre knocked at the door.
"Please, Miss, there's a woman at the back
who says she wants two orders to see the
play." "What is her name? Go and ask
her. 1 promised no orders." "I did ask
her name, but she said it was no telling it,
because you didn't know her." "Not know
her, and she expects orders! Has the wo
man her facultes about her?" "I think she
have ma,am, for I see her have a bundle tied
up in a pocket handkerchief under her arm."
A SINGULAR CASE. —About fifty-five
years ago, a young lady and gentleman
formed an association as young people often
Jo, and it was supposed by the friends
that it would terminate in matrimony. But
for some reason it was dissolved and they
separated. The young man subsequently
married and lost three wives—the last one
within the last eight or nine months. The
young lady married, and lived with her
husband over fifty-three years, and raised
a numerous family.—During the last year
her husband died- The lady remained a
widow about eleven months, when ber for
mer suitor made an advance to her—he be
ing about 75 year old, and the lady 71—
and they were finally married. The par
ties are living in the vicinity of Lynn P. O*
Susquehanna County, Pa., and the gentle
man gave his consent to the publication of
notice— Montrose Rep.
■ - ——-——•
A CONVEIENT CUSTOM. —The author of
"Wanderings inßrettany" gave the follow
ing illustration of thoughtful care for the
wants of manageable young men :—'"The
peasantry around Jesselin retain their old
dresses and customs in perfection; the
girls especially, have a habit that would
save much trouble were it introduced into
more civilized circles. They appear on
fete days in red under-petticoats, with white
or yellow borders around them ; the num
ber of these denote the portion the father,
is willing to give his danghter; each white
band means gold, and stands for a thousand
francs per year. Thus a young* farmer
who sews a face that pleases him, has only
to glance at the trimmings of the petticoat
ts learn io an iustaut what amount of reut
• ceampanies it,"
tehms, aß.oo peh a-tntinttS m
As long as education, manners, mora Is
and social intercourse continue as they now
are—as long as crimes, murders, and sui
cides are seductively detailed and daily
f urnisbed to the public, through a thous
and channels, for the purpose of private
gain—as long as the perpetrators of crimes
and of homicides are held out, both on the
stage and from the .press, as heroes of their
day—as long as the overflow of moral aud
religious principles, and the infection or
contamination of the public mind, are
made of objects of gainful speculation, into
which persons in place or authority are not
considered dishonored by entering—as
long as the streams of moral pollution are
allowed to flow without either strenuous,or
well-directed, or combined efforts to con
fine or to contract them—as long as the
instant and efficient agents of self-destruc
tion are sold in every street, at little or no
price, and to any purchaser—as long as
the struggles of great part ies in politics
and religion absorb, in connection with the
details of every vice and every crime, the
public mind, each party endeavoring to
depress and ruin the others, without re
gard to the general weal—as long as pro
vison for the pecuniary wants of the state,
and the power an 1 patronage of office,
constitute the chief objects of governments,
as long as justice is within the reach only
of the wealthy, as long as laws protect
chiefly the bad, as long as the weak are
unshielded,and the deserving unrewarded,
as long as
—The whips and scorns of time,
The oppressor's wrong, tho proud mvn's cortume
The pangs of despisallore, the law's delay,
The insolence of office, and the spurns
That patient merit of the unw rthy takes,
shall continue to' puzzle the will"—,as long
as the lives of all classes are endangered,,
and their minds distracted, by unprincipled
and ignorant pretenders to medical and re
ligious kuowledge, who are allowed, and
encouraged, to take advantage of the cred.
nlity and fears of the weak minded—as
long, in short, as moral degradation phys
ical destitution, exist, and as long as the
safe:y of the people is not the supreme la w
of the state ; —as long as these several con"
ditions of a country continue, and in pro
portion to their separate and combined in
fluence —so long will suicides be frequent
or even iucreased.
Mahmud Bey, astronomer to the Viceroy
of Egypt,has published an interesting treat
ise, with the view of proving their dates
from their connection with Sirius, the Dog
Star. The late Viceroy, Said Pasha, or
dered him to work out his problem; He
found the exact measurment of the largest
to be 231 metres to the base, and 146,40
from the ground to the apex. Hence it
follows that the sides are at an angle of 51
deg. 45 sec. Mahmud Pasha found that the
angles of the other three pyramids, near
Memphis, were on an average inclination
of 52 deg. Ihe fact that the sides of these
monuments are placed exactly true to the
four quarters of the globe, seemed to point
to some connection with the stars,and Mah
mud Bey found Sirius sends his rays nearly
vertically upon the south side, when pass
ing the meridian Ghizcb' He then found,
on calculating back, the exact position the
stars occupied in past ceuturies—that the
rays of Sirius were exactly vertical to the
south side of the Great Pyramid, 33oo B.C.
Sirius was dedicated to the god Sothis, or
Toth Anubus : and hence the astronomer
pronounces that the pyramids were built
about 3300 B. C., a date nearly coinciding
with Bunseh's calculation, which fixes the
reign of Cheops at thirty four centuries be
fore Christ.
It is surprising (says a recent writer)how
infectious tears are at a wedding. First
of all the bride cries, because she's going
to be married ; and then, of course, the
bridemaids cry, perhaps, because thev are
not; and the fond mamma cries, because
she'll 1-1-1-lose her d d-darling; and then
the fond papa cries, because he thinks its
proper ; and then all tho ladies cry,because
ladies, as a rule, will never miss a chance
of crying; and then, perhaps, the grooms
men cry, to keep the ladies company ; and
then the old pew cpener cries, to show
what deep pecuniary interest he takes in
the proceedings; and then, perhaps, the
publio cries, the public being, of course,
composed exclusively of petticoats.—But,
notwithstanding all these Niobes, who
make quite a Niagara of eyewater aronnd
them, we own we never yet have seen the
bridegroom cry, and should about as soon
•xpect to boar ths beadlo whimper.
VOL. 5 NO. 19
The term "under the rose," as implying
secrecy had its origin during the year B.C.
477, at which time Pausanias, the com
mander of the Confederate fleet was en
gaged in an intrigue with Xerxes for the
marriage of his daughter and the subjuga
tion of Greece to the Median rule* Their
negotiations were carried on in a building
attached to the temple of Minerva; called
the Brazen House, the roof of which was a
garden forming a bower of roses so that
the plot, which was conducted with the ut
most secrecy, was literally matured under
the rose. It was discovered, however, by a
slave, and, as the sanctity of the place for
bade the Atheians to foice Pausanias out,
or kill him there, they finally walled him
in and left him to die of starvation. It fi
nally grew to be a custom among the Athe
ians to wear roses in their hair whenever
they wished to communicate to another se
cret which they wished to be kept inviolate.
Hence the saying, sub rosa , among hem,
and now among almost all Christian nations
The rule of conduct followed by Lord
Erskine—a man of sterling independenc®
of principle and scrupulous adherence to
truth—are worthy of being engraven on
every young man's heart. "It was a first
command and counsel of my earliest youth,"
he said always do what my conscience told
me to do, ray duty, and to leave the conse
quence to God, 1 shall carry with me the
memory, and, 1 trust, the practice, of this
parental lessen, to the grave. I have hith
erto followed it, and I have no reason to
complain that my obedience to it has been
a temporal sacrifice. I have found it on the
contrary, the road to prosperity and wealth,
and I shall point out the same path to my
children for their pursuit. Aad tlreir can
be no doubt, after all, that the only safe
rule of conduct is to follow implicity tho
guidance of an enlightened conscience.
Beware of impure words. Filthy conver
sation it is a fruitful means of corruption.
It is a channel by which the impurity of one
heart may be communicated to another. —
And we know who hath said. <t Ev;l com
munications corrupt good manners." Words
are an index of the state of the heart
Hence says Christ, "By thy words thalt
thou be condemned: nnrt fr:ii
..uiuiuat men shall speak, they shall give
account thereof in the day of judgment."
There are those whose conversation is filthy
aud disgusting. Parents should guard their
children from such. They should them
selves avoid every indelicate expression,
and check the first appearance of anv such
thing in their children. Avoid foolish say
ings and jesting. Children let your words
be pure.
It is a plain but faithful saying, "Eat
your brown bread first," nor is there a bet
ter rule for a young man's outset in the
world.—While you continue single, you
may live within as narrow limits as vou
please; aud it is then you must begin to
save, in order to provide for the more en
larged expenses of your future family. Be
sides, a plain frugal life is then supported
most cheerfully : it is your own choice and
it is justified on the best and most honest
principles in the world, and you have no
body's pride to struggle with, or appetite to
master, but your own. Asyou advance in
life ar.d success, it would be expected you
should give yourself greatet indulgence,and
you may then be allowed to do it both rea
sonably and safely.
Pkrfection.—A French preacher was
once descantiug from the pulpit with great
eloquence on the beauties of creation,
"whatever," said he, "comes from the
hands of Nature is complete; She forms
everything perfect." One of the congre
gation, very much deformed, and having
• o
a very large hump, went up to him at the
close of the discourse, and asked, "What
think ye of me, holy father ? am I perfeot ?"
To which the preacher replied, very cool
ey : "Yes, for a hump-backed man, quite
perfect ?"
.man travelling in the south of Ireland, over
took a peasant travelling the same way.
"who lives in that house on the hill, Pat ?"
said the traveller. "One Mr. Cassidy, sir,"
replied Pat: "but he's dead,rest his soul!"
"How long has he been dead?" asked the
gentleman. "Well, your, honor, if he'd
lived till next mouth, he'd be dead just
twelve months "
"Of what did he die ?*' "Troth, air, W
died of a Tueaday."